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The Lunchroom Episode 2x12 "Fooling Myself" Teleplay by Vincent Biga and Bruce Snyder Story by Bruce Snyder Created by Bruce Snyder TEASER: INT. REICTHER'S ROOM NIGHT The lights are off and he's watching T.V. while laying on his bed. We hear the Simpsons theme play. REICTHER The Simpsons...There's a 99% chance I've already seen it... Reicther waits a moment. REICTHER Yep already seen it. What else is on? Reicther picks up the remote and presses a button, nothing happens. REICTHER What? Reicther presses a button again and again furiously but still nothing happens. REICTHER Why won't you work!?! Reicther throws the remote across the room. The channel on the T.V. changes and we hear the X-Files theme play. REICTHER I don't like this show either... Reicther looks at the remote on the other side of the room. REICTHER It can't be helped...it's out of my hands now... OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE: Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the credits. TITLE CARD: "Saturday, April 24" INT. BRIAN'S HOUSE KITCHEN NIGHT CLOSE UP: A Liter of Coke a Cola is opened. PULL BACK TO REVEAL: Brian is the one that did it. Brock stands right next to him. Brian pours into two cups. BRIAN Here's to another great "Fuck the Dance" night. BROCK Hizah! The both take a drink. BRIAN Okay. All we need now is some food and we'll be ready. There's a KNOCK at the door. BRIAN Damn it. Brian exits. Brock begins to grabs some chips and some boxes of food. INT. BRIAN'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM SAME Brian enters and answers the front door to reveal Stacy And Marilyn is with her. BRIAN The door was unlocked. STACY Yeah but I wanted to give you time to pull your pants back on. BRIAN How considerate of you. MARILYN Hi, Brian. Brian walks away, shrugging off Marilyn's friendliness. BRIAN Mmhmm. Brian helps Brock carry lots of junk food back to his bedroom. STACY Charming little bugger isn't he? Marilyn laughs. INT. BRIAN'S ROOM SAME Brock and Brian both have controllers in their hands, and pressing buttons furiously. We hear intense action from the TV which we can't see but Brian and Brock still look a little bored. BRIAN So... BROCK So... There is and awkward pause, Brian and Brock share a nervous laugh. They still don't talk. BROCK This sure is a riveting conversation. BRIAN Yeah I know. There is another pause. BROCK Why aren't the others here? BRIAN Will has a date for the dance. Chris and Joel have never been to one so they went to. Casey always goes and god only knows what Reicther is doing. BROCK Oh... Pause. BROCK You know what was a great show? "Rocco's Modern Life." Brian laughs. INT. REICTHER'S ROOM SAME Reicther is still watching the X-Files in the dark. We hear a blood curdling scream from the TV. Reicther starts laughing. REICTHER Yes, god el chuprocabara. Rip his face off. Reicther continues laughing. Suddenly Reicther stops laughing and shakes his hand wildly. REICTHER OWW!!! Reicther rolls off his bed onto the floor, he looks up at the ceiling, we can barely see a black dot flying around and we hear a loud buzzing sound over the TV. REICTHER Horsefly! So my arch rival hath returned! Reicther looks at his hand. REICTHER And he has struck first! You realize this means war don't you!? Reicther gets up and runs for the door. REICTHER ...War. As Reicther runs out of his room and into the hall way we hear him slip and fall onto the hard wood floor. REICTHER Ouch... INT. STACY'S ROOM SAME Stacy and Marilyn are sitting on Stacy's bed watching a movie and talking. MARILYN So do you and Brian get along alright? STACY Why do you ask? MARILYN You've only been living with him two months I think its an appropriate question. STACY Well, he's not nice but he's not mean either. MARILYN That doesn't make much sense. STACY He hardly ever talks to me at home so its neither. MARILYN At least he's not an annoying little brother. STACY Yeah but its irritating how he won't open up and talk to me like he does with his friends no matter how much of my guts I spill out to him. MARILYN Like what? STACY Stuff like I've only been kissed once, then he just looks at me with a blank stare that seems to say; "Why are you telling me this?" MARILYN You've only been kissed once? STACY Yeah, pathetic right? MARILYN Nah. My father wasn't kissed until he was twenty two. Stacy gives her a weird look. INT. BRIAN'S ROOM SAME Brian and Brock are still talking about TV shows. BRIAN What about "Invader Zim" why did they take that off? BROCK I heard somewhere that they took it off cause it was too dark. BRIAN Then why did they ever air it to begin with? BROCK I don't know search me, but I wish they would bring it back. BRIAN Yeah, like "The Angry Beavers" I loved that show. You can never get old of two beavers running around making funny noises. BROCK I guess you don't any way. BRIAN Nope. There is a short pause, Brock takes a drink of soda. BRIAN I think I'm going to end it with Cathy. Brock is about to spit out the coke but struggles and keeps it in. He swallows. He then begins to breathe deeply. BRIAN What the hell was that? BROCK What, I didn't want to spit it out. INT. REICTHER'S ROOM - SAME The room is dark, the TV. is the only light, we can still hear the horsefly buzzing around. The door slowly opens and we see Reicther enter with a spaghetti drainer on his head and a big frying pan in his hands. He turns on a lamp sitting on a dresser by the door. REICTHER Oh I'll get you sneaky little... (searches for word) sneak! Then we'll see who has the last laugh WHICH will be me! We hear the horse fly getting closer to Reicther who beings to swing the pan wildly in the air. REICTHER Come on!! INT. BRIAN'S COMPUTER ROOM LATER Brian and Brock are sitting at the computer stumped. BRIAN How do you write a break up e-mail? BROCK What makes you think I know? BRIAN I know you don't know. BROCK If you knew that I know then why did you ask even though you claimed to know that I knew that I didn't know. There is a short pause. BROCK I've gone and confused myself BRIAN Yeah, I'll handle it from here, you just go do...stuff I guess. BROCK Okay. Brock leaves and Brian is left a lone. Brian sighs and runs his hand through his hair. BRIAN Fuck... Brian waits another second then starts to type. BRIAN (V/O) Dear Cathy, I've just been fooling myself thinking this could work... Brian stops and looks at what he's written. BRIAN Where do I come up with this stuff? INT. STACY'S ROOM LATER Stacy and Marilyn are still watching the movie. MARILYN Why have you only been kissed once? STACY Well, I just only found one person who I was comfortable with ya' know? MARILYN Yeah I think I know what you mean. There is a short pause then Marilyn gets up and stops the movie. STACY What are you doing? MARILYN Close your eyes. STACY What? MARILYN It's something I learned in a Yoga class to help you relax now close your eyes. STACY Alright. Stacy closes her eyes and the screen goes black as we are looking from her perspective. MARILYN (V/O) Imagine yourself in a far away place. STACY (V/O) Like where? MARILYN (V/O) The most beautiful place you can think of, it doesn't even have to be real. A moment passes the we hear the roar of a water fall and Stacy opens her eyes to reveal a gigantic water fall with fine mists swirling every were, we see Stacy standing there, her hair let down and wearing a light purple dress. MARILYN (V/O) Are you there yet? STACY (very peaceful voice) Yeah... MARILYN (V/O) What's it like? STACY It's the most surreal place I've ever seen... Suddenly two Chinese men come out of nowhere and are sword fighting on the water. They see Stacy and stop their combat and bow to Stacy. They both say a few words in Chinese and subtitles appear reading: Hello Miss Stacy. Stacy bows and says hello then the two men go back to flying in the air and fighting each other. MARILYN (V/O) Are you ready for the next part? Stacy sees Brian ridding a flying unicorn waving at her. STACY (as she waves to Brian) Yeah I guess so. MARILYN (V/O) Now imagine there is a person in the distance. We go back to Stay's perspective and see a faint figure in the far off mist. STACY Who exactly? MARILYN (V/O) The one person for you, the one person that you could wake up every morning to and just smile from their presence. The figure starts to walk closer, we can barely see a tall dark haired man. MARILYN (V/O) You see the person coming closer and closer to you, yes? STACY Yes... We see the out line getting bigger and we can see the man is in great physical condition. He is only about ten feet away now and still walking towards Stacy. STACY What do I do? MARILYN (V/O) The person you see keeps coming closer and closer to you. STACY Ok... The man stops in front of Stacy, only a few feet away, she looks up at his face and he has a big smile on. MARILYN (V/O) Then they lean in close to you. STACY Yeah... The man leans closer and is acting like he's going to kiss Stacy. MARILYN (V/O) And then... The man leans in and kisses Stacy. After a few moments he pulls away, we focus on Stacy's happy face. MARILYN (V/O) How was it? We see that Stacy has her eyes closed and she's back in her room. STACY It was great... Stacy opens her eyes and sees Marilyn only a few inches away from her face and she has a big smile on her face. MARILYN I thought so too. Stacy stumbles backwards, falling off her bed in the process as she realizes what just happened. STACY WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!! Th...Wa-, I, whew... She grabs her hair and quickly stands up. STACY Big...no no. MARILYN Are you okay? Stacy is still trying to make words, but can't. MARILYN (smiling) I know I made a very quick move and everything. I'm sorry if I shocked you. Stacy snaps out of the shock and smiles. STACY It's fine. I just wasn't expecting something like that. They both chuckle. Marilyn leans in again and kisses her. Stacy quickly backs away. STACY Okay...um, I hate to break this to you...but I'm not gay. MARILYN What? I thought I was just going fast. STACY Well, there's that and you know ...me not being gay. MARILYN (shocked) Oh my, I'm really, really sorry. STACY It's okay. MARILYN I'm sorry, I just thought...you were a lesbian. STACY It's okay. Pause. MARILYN Are you...sure? STACY (surprised) What do you mean? Of course I'm sure why wouldn't I be? MARILYN I mean you said you had only found one person that you were comfortable to kiss, I thought that meant... STACY It was James Wong the foreign exchange student in the Fourth grade. MARILYN Oh... There is a long awkward pause. MARILYN I should go. STACY No wait! MARILYN I'm sorry but I had something other in mind when I came over than you, I'll call you when I'm ready just to be friends. Marilyn gets up and heads for the door. STACY Marilyn! The door slams shut. Stacy sits there a long moment not saying anything. STACY What just happened? She throws her self on to her bed, frustrated. INT. BRIAN'S BACKYARD LITTLE LATER Brock is shooting a bb gun and trying to hit a row of cans, missing every shot. BROCK Ugh, must have a crooked shot... Brian comes out. BRIAN The deed is done. BROCK Oh that's good, why did you want to end it any way? Brian takes the gun from Brock. BRIAN I don't know really, just felt like the right thing to do. BROCK I think its... Brian cocks the gun, aims then takes a shot and knocks over a can with ease. BRIAN What were you saying? BROCK ...never mind. Stacy walks out and joins them. STACY Hi. BRIAN Hello. Brian takes a trick shot, using only one arm and hit still hits a can. Brock looks mad and steals the gun away and tries to shoot. STACY How was your night? BRIAN It was interesting, yours? STACY Same, wanna talk about it? BRIAN Hell no. Do you? STACY Not a chance in hell. BRIAN Okay then. Good talk. Stacy nods and watches as Brock misses the cans yet again. STACY Let me try INT. REICTHER'S ROOM SAME We see the horse fly land on a lamp shade. Reicther's head comes up from below the shade, he has an evil grin. He is about to swing the frying pan. REICTHER Hasta la vista baby. Reicther swings the Frying pan but trips in the process, the pan his the lamp and it falls on to Reicther after it flickers off. It is now very dark. REICTHER Oww... We hear the horsefly buzzing loudly. FADE OUT. END OF EPISODE
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