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-------------------------







The Lunchroom

Episode 2x10
"Fast Car"

Written by
Edward Drogos

Created by
Bruce Snyder





     TEASER:

     INT. LUNCHROOM  AFTERNOON

     Will, Brian, Joel, Brock, Reicther, Casey, Chris, and 
     Stacy along with the rest of the school are having 
     lunch, but Brock concentrates on something in his hand.

                                JOEL
                       (looking at the menu)
                    Hey, why isn't there food tomorrow.

                                CHRIS
                    You mean you are actually looking 
                    forward to one of their meals 
                    tomorrow. I mean even Brian doesn't 
                    like their food.

                                BRIAN
                    Thanks. For your information  Ah, 
                    screw it.

                                CASEY
                        (not looking up from his
                         Gameboy)
                    We get a three-day weekend.

                                CHRIS
                    Why?

                                BRIAN
                    Well, if the teachers get the day 
                    off, it seems silly to have the 
                    students come in, don't you think.

                                JOEL
                    I'm not the type to argue with a 
                    three-day weekend, but...Wait, 
                    there is no but.

     He gets up to go over to the soda machine. Casey's 
     Gameboy makes a jingling sound.

                                CASEY
                    Yes! Level Ten!
                         (to all of them)
                    I forgot how cool this was.

                                WILL
                         (fake excitement)
                    Yeah, that's real good Casey.

     Everyone laughs except Stacy, who is still looking at 
     something in her hand.

     Joel comes back with his Coke. He opens it and it 
     explodes in his face.

                                JOEL
                    Shit.

     He looks for a napkin but all of his books and papers 
     are in the way.

                                JOEL (CONT'D)
                    Where the fuck is it... My life is 
                    cluttered. Cluttered with...I have 
                    to unclutter my life.

     Joel finds the napkin and sees the rest of them looking 
     at him.

                                WILL
                    Are you alright, man?

                                JOEL
                    I just can't stand all this 
                    disorganization.

     Joel cleans up the mess.

                                REICTHER
                    So, what should we do this weekend?

     Joel sighs deeply.

                                CASEY
                    What was that?

                                JOEL
                    Why do we always have to do 
                    everything together?  I mean I 
                    spend nine out of my ten waking 
                    hours with you guys.

                                CHRIS
                    Are you tired of us?

                                JOEL
                    No. Well, I need to find myself. I 
                    need to improve myself.

                                REICTHER
                    Where did this come from?

                                BRIAN
                    Well, I sorta see his point...

                                REICTHER
                              (offended)
                    Fine you can stay with Joel on his 
                    weekend of self-gratification...I 
                    mean self-improvement. So, what are 
                    the rest of us going to do?

                                CASEY
                    Since Stacy has her license, why 
                    doesn't she show off his driving 
                    skills?

                                BROCK
                    Like a road trip?

                                STACY
                    I guess so. Where do we go?

     No one can think of anywhere.

                                REICTHER
                    What if we just drive anywhere?

     Silence.

                                BRIAN
                    What about Vegas?

     Silence.

                                STACY
                    Well, what's wrong with driving 
                    around until we feel like coming 
                    home?

     No one can think of anything.

                                STACY (CONT'D)
                    So it's decided.

     They all nod in agreement.

                                CHRIS
                              (exited)
                    I've never been on a road trip!

                                JOEL
                    I'm gonna get another drink.

     He gets up, gets his drink, and sits back down. He does 
     to open it then stops, pushes the can over to Will's 
     side of the table and opens it.

     Nothing happens. Joel goes to drink as the fire alarm 
     bell, makes him jump and spill the soda all over him 
     again.

                                CHRIS
                           (getting up)
                    Oh yeah, I thought there was a fire 
                    drill today.
                              (to Joel)
                    Well, at least you won't catch on 
                    fire.

                                WILL
                            (walking out)
                    I don't know, is High Futose Corn 
                    Syrup flammable?

     OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:

     Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the 
     credits.

     AFTER CREDITS:

     INT. GARAGE - NEXT MORNING

     Stacy and DEBBIE VANDELE enter. Debbie is carrying a 
     large bag.

                                DEBBIE
                    Okay, now remember all the things 
                    you learned in driving school. Don't 
                    speed, and be careful with my car.

                                STACY
                    Don't worry, I'll be careful with 
                    your Land Cruiser.

                                STACY
                    Land Cruiser? Oh, no. Your not 
                    taking my new car on a road trip. 
                    Your taking the other one.

     The camera pans over to the other car.  It's a 1995 
     Mercury Villager, powder blue with rust patches and 
     three hubcaps missing hubcaps.

                                STACY
                    No...You can't make me drive that 
                    old thing. It makes no sense.

                                DEBBIE
                          (putting a bag 
                          in the back)
                    What do you mean? It makes perfect 
                    sense, it'll fit all of you, and 
                    your stuff, it still runs great and 
                    let me repeat, you are not driving 
                    my new car.

                                STACY
                           (he walks over 
                            to the van)
                    Okay, mom. Can I have the keys?

                                LOIS
                            (walks over)
                    Sure.
                         (hands them to her)
                    And this...

     She gives her a cell phone.

                                STACY
                    What's this for?

                                DEBBIE
                    In case of an emergency...

                                STACY
                    Thanks.

                                DEBBIE
                    And for me to check up on you.

                                STACY
                    ...But no thanks.

                                DEBBIE
                    Keep it. There's also a GPS on 
                    there, if you get lost. Now you 
                    better get going.

     Stacy gets into the car with a look of slight disgust, 
     and starts it up. Brock pulls out and waves goodbye.

     EXT. VANDELE HOUSE  CONTINUOUS

     Stacy pulls out and stops in the driveway. Brian emerges 
     from the house with a bag. He opens the door and gets 
     in. He throws his bags in the back.

                                STACY
                    Ready?

                                BRIAN
                    Let's hit the fucking road.

     Stacy pulls out of the driveway and turns on to the 
     street.

     EXT. WILL'S HOUSE  MINUTES LATER

     The Van pulls up to the house. Stacy honks her horn. 
     Will comes out with his sleeping bag and stops when he 
     sees Stacy and Brian in the minivan.

                                WILL
                    You're kidding.

     Stacy gets out and opens the back.

                                STACY
                    Just get in.

     Will throws his bag in the back and gets in the front. 
     Stacy starts the car again and they drive and turn the 
     corner.

     EXT. CHRIS'S HOUSE  MORNING

     Chris is sitting on his porch waiting for the car. Stacy 
     pulls up but Chris doesn't notice. Stacy honks but Chris 
     doesn't pay attention.

     INT. STACY'S CAR  CONTINUOUS

                                BRIAN
                    What is he doing? Open the window.

     Stacy looks for the button but can't find one.

                                STACY
                    Where's the button.

                                BRIAN
                            (pointing)
                    You crank it.

     Stacy rolls down her window.

                                STACY
                    Hey! What are you waiting for?

     Chris realizes it them and walks over to the car.

                                CHRIS
                    Your kidding.

                                BRIAN
                    Just get in!

                                CHRIS
                    Shotgun.

                                BRIAN
                    What? No, I got here first.

                                CHRIS
                    Order of the picking up does not 
                    effect the calling of the shotgun. 
                    Did you already call it?

                                WILL
                    Well, no.

                                CHRIS
                    Back of the bus, Brian.

     Brian gets in the back as Chris takes his rightful place 
     in the front.

                                                        FADE TO:

     INT. STACY'S CAR - ROAD  DAY

     Everyone is in the car now. Stacy driving, Chris 
     shotgun, Reicther, Will, Brock and Brian in the middle, 
     and Casey stuffed in the back.

                                CASEY
                    Since when were there rules about 
                    the second row too?

                                STACY
                    So which way do we go?

                                BROCK
                    Well, here is a map, just pick a 
                    road, and we'll go that way.

                                CHRIS
                    So I get to decide?

                                STACY
                    Sure.

                                BRIAN
                            (to Reicther)
                    Don't you think Chris's just a 
                    little too exited about this trip?

     Reicther laughs. Stacy stops at a stoplight.

                                CHRIS
                    What? I've been in this state for 
                    six months. This is the first time 
                    I'll seen outside Centerville.

                                REICTHER
                    That's a little sad.

     They all agree. The light turns green.

                                STACY
                    Okay.
                            (to herself)
                    Mirrors...window, rear, side...
                    hands...ten and two...gear...P, N, 
                    R, D...Brake -

                                BRIAN
                           (interrupting)
                    What the hell are you doing?

                                STACY
                            (looking up)
                    My checklist.

                                BRIAN
                    Oh, okay. I thought you were doing 
                    something stupid.

                                STACY
                    Hey! Who is the one with the 
                    license in this car?

     Stacy starts to drive.

                                STACY (CONT'D)
                         (hitting the breaks)
                    Wait! Left or right.

                                CHRIS
                         (checking the map)
                    Left. Definitely left.

                                BRIAN
                    Thank you rain man.

     Stacy turns and quickly finds that it is a cul-de-sac. 
     Stacy keeps circling around the edge.

                                STACY
                         (she turns to Chris)
                    Left. Definitely Left, huh.

                                BRIAN
                    Definitely WRONG!

     Bruce continues around the edge until he can get out and 
     drives in the right direction.

                                                          CUT TO:

     INT. JOEL'S BEDROOM - SAME TIME

     Joel's CLOCK reads "10:00 AM" and Joel is still in bed. 
     He reaches over to his phone and hits the 'message' 
     button.

                                VOICE
                    You have no new messages.

     Joel looks a little shocked a first but then remembers 
     the rest of them are gone. He lays back down.

                                                        CUT TO:

     INT. STACY'S CAR  LATER

     Casey is now in front while Chris is in back.

                                CASEY
                    Chris, I'm surprised that you didn't 
                    know shotgun rights could be 
                    revoked.

     Chris continues to look out the window as Casey smiles. 
     A sign catches Chris's eye.

                                CHRIS
                    We have to stop.

                                STACY
                    Why?

                                CHRIS
                    There's a magic show the next exit.

                                BRIAN
                    What kind of magic show?

                                CHRIS
                    I don't know, lets find out. I've 
                    never been to a magic show.
                             (to Brock)
                    Come on this is the exit. Turn.

                                STACY
                    Why not?

     Stacy pulls of the road, and is taken to a trailer with 
     a large sign saying "TRAVELING MAGIC SHOW: Amazing 
     Illusions by the Magnificent Montano."

     EXT. MAGIC TRAILER  CONTINUOUS

     Stacy pulls to the side and they get out. The Magician's 
     head pokes out of the window.  The Gang lines up and as 
     the Magician, dressed in purple and gold robes with a 
     cheesy fabric hat with a gold star on, walks out.

                                MAGICIAN
                    Welcome, welcome. You are just in 
                    time for my next show. Five dollars 
                    each please.

                                REICTHER
                    You never said anything about a 
                    five bucks, Chris.

                                CHRIS
                    Come on.

     They each hand him their money.

                                MAGICIAN
                    Thank you, thank you. Please follow 
                    me.

     They follow him into the trailer.

     INT. MAGIC TRAILER  CONTINUOUS

     Two rows of benches are lined up facing a wall of 
     curtains covering up the stage. The Magician gestures 
     for them to sit and puts the money in a box by the door 
     and goes behind the curtains.

     MUSIC starts and the curtains part. The Magician stands 
     with his back to the gang and with the music spins 
     around throwing his arms in the air.

                                MAGICIAN
                    Thank you! I am Montano the 
                    Magnificent, I will start out with 
                    my most difficult illusion.

     He reveals a large trunk from behind his cape.

                                MAGICIAN (CONT'D)
                    I need a volunteer please.

     Casey kicks Chris's chair which makes Chris stagger 
     forward.

                                MAGICIAN (CONT'D)
                    Ah, thank you. Please come this way.

     Chris gives Casey the finger behind his back as he walks 
     to the stage. The Magician opens the trunk.

                                MAGICIAN (CONT'D)
                    Please test this trunk make sure it 
                    has no openings.

     Chris kicks it and opens the top and looks inside.

                                CHRIS
                    Looks solid.

                                MAGICIAN
                    Thank you. Now, with this rope 
                    please tie my hands behind my back.

     Chris gets the rope and ties it a little tighter then 
     the Magician expected.

                                MAGICIAN (CONT'D)
                    Okay, thank you. After I get in 
                    please secure all the latches and 
                    locks on the front and sides and 
                    hold the curtain above your head.
                           (dramatic pause)
                    And I will escape!

     He climbs into the trunk and Chris slams the lid down. 
     He locks the four locks and holds the curtain up like he 
     is supposed to.

                                REICTHER
                              (to Brian)
                    I thought magician's assistants 
                    were supposed to be cute.

     Chris gives him the finger and they all sit there with 
     nothing happening. Chris lowers the curtain and sees 
     nothing has happened.

     The box rattles and shakes around, the Magician's 
     panting can be heard from inside. Chris drops the 
     curtain, and watches the trunk shake back and forth.

                                REICTHER (CONT'D)
                    This is lame. I'm out of here.

                                WILL
                    Me too.

     They all walk out taking their money from the box and 
     they exit. The trunk is now bouncing back and forth.

                                MAGICIAN
                             (muffled)
                    Oh shit.

     INT. STACY'S CAR  MORNING

     Stacy is driving along the highway again and Chris is 
     still looking for things to photograph. The excitement 
     is wearing off and they look bored.

                                WILL
                    Casey, can I have a turn on your 
                    Gameboy?

                                CASEY
                    No.

     Will rolls his eyes and sits back, Reicther taps him on 
     his shoulder.

                                REICTHER
                    I declare a thumb war.

     Will turns around and extends his thumb.

                                WILL
                    It's on!

     They lock hands and begin. When either one of them speak 
     they get the upper 'thumb' in the battle.     

     They battle for a few more seconds and Will pins 
     Reicther's thumb down.

                                REICTHER
                    Hey you cheated!

                                WILL
                    I did not.

                                REICTHER
                    Yes you did, you broke the grip.

                                WILL
                    I did not!
                        (he turns to Brian)
                    Judge.

                                BRIAN
                    Objection: Denied. One point, Will.

                                REICTHER
                    Oh, fine. Come on one more time! 
                    I'm gonna beat you.

     Will looks at him.

                                WILL
                    Your really a sore loser aren't you.

                                REICTHER
                    I'm not, come on. I declare a thumb 
                    war.

     They lock hands and start again.

                                                         CUT TO:

     INT. JOEL'S BEDROOM  DAY

     Joel sits cross-legged on the floor meditating. 
     Something like Norah Jones plays in the background and a 
     electric rock waterfall runs in front of him.

     He tries to relax but he keeps being distracted by the 
     waterfall. He can't sit still and gets up to go to the 
     bathroom.

                                                         CUT TO:

     INT. STACY'S CAR  DAY

     The only noise in the car is from Casey's Gameboy, and 
     it is annoying everyone. Will and Reicther are still 
     playing thumb-war.

                                BRIAN
                    How could the car not have a radio.

                                STACY
                    I told you, I haven't been in this 
                    car in years. How was I supposed to 
                    know.

                                WILL
                    Does the tape player work?

                                BROCK
                    I don't know. Do any of you have a 
                    tape anyway.

                                REICTHER
                    Casey look in the glove compartment.

     While talking Will is able to catch Reicther's thumb and 
     win.

                                REICTHER (CONT'D)
                    Rematch. 11 out of 20...or 
                    whatever.

     They begin again. Casey opens it and pulls out a bunch 
     of old papers. He digs around and finds an old cassette 
     tape.

                                CASEY
                    Got one!

                                STACY
                    Well, put it in.

     He does and presses play.  After a second Tracy 
     Chaplain's "Fast Car" plays. They all groan.

                                REICTHER
                    Oh my god, is your mom a lesbian or 
                    something?

     Stacy turns off the tape, and they sit again with the 
     stupid noises from Casey's Gameboy.

     Will can't stand it and reaches forward and turns it 
     back on.

                                WILL
                    Maybe there will be different songs.

                                                        FADE TO:

     INT.  STACY'S CAR - MINUTES LATER

     Now Melissa Etheridge's "Come to my Window" is finishing 
     and everyone looks like they are in a coma. Brian 
     reaches up from the back and turns it off.

                                BRIAN
                    Enough.

                                WILL
                    Casey can I PLEASE play your 
                    Gameboy?

                                CASEY
                    Um...No.

                                BRIAN
                    I'm hungry.

                                WILL
                    Shocker.

                                BROCK
                    Look there is a store over there, 
                    lets stop.

                                STACY
                    Okay.

     Stacy pulls in and they get out.

     INT. CONVENIENCE STORE  DAY

     Chris, Will and Brock are raiding the junk food isle 
     while Brian and Casey are browsing the magazine rack. 
     Brian picks up "Seventeen."

                                BRIAN
                    I always wondered what was in these 
                    things.

                                CASEY
                    Stupid kissing tips, and outrageous 
                    first date edict, and the 
                    twenty-one different feelings you 
                    can read from your mans eyebrows.

                                BRIAN
                    Really, like what?

     Casey rolls his eyes and walks over to the counter where 
     the rest of them are paying for their snacks. Brain 
     walks over still looking at the magazine.

     Will comes up to Casey.

                                WILL
                    I'll buy you a hot dog for twenty 
                    minutes with your Gameboy.

                                CASEY
                    No.

     He walks away.

                                WILL
                    Damnit, I wish Brian had the game.

     He goes outside.

                                REICTHER
                    Getting in touch with your inner 
                    seventeen year old girl, Chris?

                                CHRIS
                    It says that one out of seven men 
                    is gay...So which one of you is it?

     They all become tense, taking a step back, and looking 
     at one another.

                                WILL
                    Joel.

     They relax.

                                CHRIS
                    Good answer.

                                                         CUT TO:

     INT. JOEL'S BATHROOM - SAME TIME

     It so happens that Joel has a exfoliating mask on. His 
     nose itches, but he can't scratch it.

                                                         CUT TO:                                                       

     EXT. ROAD  NIGHT

     The sun has fully set and we can see Brock's headlights 
     like pin heads traveling along a long, dark, dusty road.

     INT. STACY'S CAR  NIGHT

     Everyone is getting tired. They have finished all their 
     junk food and look cramped. Casey puts his Gameboy down. 
     He looks up and you can see that for the moment, he is 
     cross-eyed. Brock sees this.

                                BROCK
                    What did you do to your eyes?

                                CHRIS
                          (blinking furiously)
                    What do you mean?

                                WILL
                    Casey, can I use your Gameboy now?

                                CASEY
                    Fine.

     He extends it to him.

                                WILL
                    Really?

                                CASEY
                    Yeah, knock yourself out.

     Will takes it.

                                WILL
                    Thanks.

                                CASEY
                    It's out of batteries anyway.

     Casey laughs and Will looks mad. Will rolls down the 
     window and tosses it out into the darkness.

                                CASEY
                    Hey! What the fuck, Will. Stop!

     Stacy stops on the side and reverses a little.

                                CASEY
                    Where's the flashlight?

     He grabs it and gets out and starts to look for the 
     Gameboy

                                REICTHER
                    I need to get out.

                                BROCK
                    Me too.

     Reicther, Brock and Will get out and walk around the 
     roadside.

     EXT. ROADSIDE  CONTINUOUS

     Brock and Reicther walk down the road and stop in front 
     of a path that leads to somewhere, but it is too dark to 
     see.

                                BROCK
                    Where do you think that goes?

                                REICTHER
                    I don't know. I'll wait here while 
                    you find out.

     Brian has gotten out and has a flashlight, he walks up 
     to them.

                                BRIAN
                             (re: path)
                    What's down there?

     Casey walks over to them.

                                CASEY
                    I can't find it anywhere.
                       (looks down the path)
                    Where's that go?

     The four of them stand looking into the darkness.

                                BRIAN
                    Well are we gonna find out or not?

     They start down the dark path. It leads to a small hill, 
     and after that a abandoned CABIN comes into view.

                                CASEY
                    That looks creepy. Who would have a 
                    cabin in the middle of no where?

                                BRIAN
                    Jeffery Dommer.

                                CASEY
                    Let's go back to the car.

                                BROCK
                    No, lets see what is behind it.

                                CASEY
                    Yeah, isn't that where they usually 
                    keep the dismembered body parts.

     EXT. CABIN  NIGHT

     The four of them round the corner and see a large LAKE 
     shining quiet in the moonlight.

                                REICTHER
                    This seems a good place to stop. 
                    Should we go into the cabin?

     They walk over.

                                BRIAN
                    You first.

     Reicther pushes the door open with his foot. It swings 
     open, hits the wall, and swings back and hits Reicther 
     in his face.

                                REICTHER
                    Ow!

                                BROCK
                    Idiot.

     Reicther now opens the door and takes a step in. Brian, 
     Brock and Casey follow.

     INT. CABIN  CONTINUOUS

     It is dark, Brock finds a light-switch and turns it on. 
     The cabin is decorated sparsely. A small sofa, table 
     and two chairs sit in front of a fireplace, and a bed 
     with a sheet over it is in one corner.

                                CASEY
                    Looks like no one's been here in a 
                    while.

     He gets rid of some cobwebs blocking his way.

                                BRIAN
                    This looks like a good place to 
                    crash, huh?

                                BROCK
                    I guess so.

                                CASEY
                             (suddenly)
                    SHOTGUN!

                                REICTHER
                    What? Were not going anywhere!

                                CASEY
                    Ha! The bed, it's mine. I called it, 
                    it's mine!

     Casey goes over to the bed and pulls the sheet off it. 
     Underneath it's just the wood frame with no bedsprings.

                                REICTHER
                    You know, I don't think Chris will 
                    argue with you.

                                                         CUT TO:

     EXT. CABIN  MORNING

     Everyone is walking around outside. Chris and Brian are 
     fishing in the lake with some poles they found in the 
     house.

                                BRIAN
                    How long have we been doing this?

                                CHRIS
                    About two hours.
 
                                BRIAN
                    How many fish have we caught?

     Chris looks in the bucket. There are three tiny fish 
     flopping in the bucket.

                                CHRIS
                    About two and a half.

     Suddenly one fish jumps out of the bucket and back into 
     the water and swims away.

                                CHRIS (CONT'D)
                    About one and a half.

     INT. STACY'S CAR

     Stacy and Will are loading stuff into the minivan. 
     Stacy is also talking to his mom on the phone.

                                STACY
                    Alright...Alright...I don't know, 
                    by some lake. 
                              (to Will)
                    Will, do you know where we stopped?

                                WILL
                    Not really.

                                STACY
                    Sorry, we don't know...I have to 
                    get gas later, and I'll ask...Maybe 
                    around six, we drove a long time. 
                    Okay, bye.

     They finish and close the back. Brian and Chris come 
     over with their now empty bucket.

                                WILL
                    How many did you catch?

                                BRIAN
                    We did catch 3 but they all jumped 
                    back.

     Just then Reicther and Brock walk around the corner and 
     walk up to the van.

                                REICTHER
                    Were you leaving us?

                                BRIA
                    No, we were just getting a head 
                    start.

     They drive off. When they get to the road it sounds like 
     they run over something. Stacy stops.

                                STACY
                    I think that was your Gameboy.

     Brian opens his door and below is Casey's Gameboy. He 
     picks it up and hands it to Casey.

                                WILL
                    Found it.

     INT. STACY'S CAR - ROAD  DAY

     Reicther is now in front and Chris and Casey are 
     together in the back.

                                CHRIS
                        (extending his hand)
                    Thumb-war?

                                CASEY
                    Okay.

     And they begin.

                                REICTHER
                             (to Stacy)
                    Do you want me find a way home?

                                STACY
                    No, I'll do it. I'll just get on 
                    the highway and take that back home.

     EXT. ROAD  CONTINUOUS

     Stacy continues driving onto the on ramp and merges onto 
     the highway.

                                                       DISSOLVE TO:

     INT. STACY'S CAR - HIGHWAY  LATER

     Stacy is still driving on the highway.

                                STACY
                    I don't recognize any of these 
                    signs.

                                REICTHER
                    You are going the right direction, 
                    right?

     Stacy checks his map.

                                WILL
                    Uh, guys. Look.

     They all look out the window to see a sign saying 
     "WELCOME TO ILLINOIS the Land of Lincoln." They are all 
     shocked. Stacy keeps looking at her map, but can't 
     believe it.

                                CHRIS
                    Hey cool, I've never been to 
                    Illinois.						

                                                        FADE OUT.
                           
                            END OF EPISODE









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