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"JACK THE SNACK" "FIRST DRAFT" BY: THE GOOSE STARTED: (November 16th 2002) Finished (December 28th 2002) Drum music begins playing lightly, then gets louder, as the credits begin to appear. Then the title. OPEN UP ON:- A SMALL AMERICAN TOWN-AFTERNOON A Volkswagen camper-van is going through a small-town. The camper-van is black, with flame streaks up the side. It pulls into a small bar car-park. Two men get out and walk inside. They are Bill McDuffy & John Furlough. INSIDE They have ordered drinks and they are standing at the bar talking absolute rubbish. MCDUFFY (British) You ever read "Virgins marry"? It's about some dick-head who's chasing this girl around a town a... FURLOUGH (British) (Interrupts) No it's not, it's a good book, you're making It sound like ****. It's about a girl Who is very sensitive, and she's been attacked twice by the Same guy, and she meets a sensitive copper, and he Promises to help her catch the man, They do, then he attacks her, bu... MCDUFFY (Interrupts) Wow-wow, that's bull****, Absolute bull****. She never Does that. Anyway who cares? FURLOUGH Look that isn't the story. I've got the book in the back of The camper-van, It's about a nice girl who meets a sensitive boy. And as I said, he ends up attacking her. And this really ****** her her, so she throws him off, he tries to attack her again. But she beats him up. Oh and it's called "Virgins never marry". MCDUFFY (Absent-mindedly) Which one's "Virgins never marry"? I can't remember it. FURLOUGH You haven't even read it? What!?! It was a bestseller, no.1 For two whole months. By some guy called "Barry Rumple". I hardly ever read these Bull**** romance novels. But even I've read that! Anyway I though you liked Books? MCDUFFY Look, I never said I hadn't seen it But I haven't read it. I prefer pigfucking westerns Or horrors, not that bull****, stuff like romance. I hate romance, unless it's happening To me, and that doesn't happen much, Does it? FURLOUGH Yeh, I hate romance, too. The Barman, who has been listening to the whole Conversation pipes up. BARMAN I love romance, I live for it, Where's the world without romance? I mean, romance. I just love it. Ever heard of Mills & Boon? I got the whole collection. I Mean that just rocks, doesn't it? Mills & Boon, Mills & Boon. I have read "Virgins never marry" but it's Crap, dude. MCDUFFY/FURLOUGH Shut up! MCDUFFY Oh, Barry Rumple writes Westerns and romances doesn't he? I remember him. His westerns are Real good. FURLOUGH (After a long drink) What? MCDUFFY I found one of his books up in my loft. It was called "Marshall Mike's star" Found it under some newspaper, and it Was on top of a whatjumacall it? Um---alarm-clock, that's it. It's About a lonely Rancher who is attacked By Indians and... FURLOUGH I don't wanna know. MCDUFFY Anyway, "Virgin's never marry" isn't About a sensitive girl And a sensitive man, I remember Watching the T.V serialisation. He has a real big Machine-gun, And a big ****! FURLOUGH Oh the Telly series. The theme-tune was Just !An ugly Little sod, Ugly, ugly, ugly, Real, damn ugly". MCDUFFY That's song's pants. How many times did they have sex on screen? FURLOUGH (Smoothly) A lot. MCDUFFY The woman's real horny, But as you said he was As ugly as you-know-what. I like the shoot-out and the End. The guy-Joolz-or Whatever he's called. Shoots the drug-dealer, Then ratta-tat-tat, Shoots some of the other Druggys, then shoots The main girl, herself. Then as the credits run, He shoots himself and Says "IN THE BRAIN". Oh, and did you see His face when he climaxes, Wow-wee. FURLOUGH Tilley, Tilley Mahoney, that's Her name-in it? MCDUFFY She hates drugs, she really Does, she hates the Drug-dealer, And the guy-Laurence. She's a killer, too. At the start she Is on a street, And the guy tries to attack her, but she hits Him over the head with A rock, and kills him. The Drug-dealer sees her. She begs him not To tell anyone, But he's a cold-hearted fool, so he says "Only if you work for me". So she lives the life of a Druggy, poor woman! BARMAN No, that's not true. That isn't true! That's wrong, dude. MCDUFFY (Annoyed) You're wrong. I'm right! What the Damn do you know about it anyway? You're still reading your Pig******* Mills & Bone, or whatever the **** it may be! BARMAN Jackass! You don't know The first thing about The brilliant romance. And it's Boon. Not bone, Now if you continue Dissing romance, I'm gonna Take my sawn-off shotgun From down here and blow your Brains out the other sidea' your head. Furlough grabs him by the neck, And McDuffy makes to punch him. But he grabs a Mills & Boon novel instead, The novel was sitting near Barman. MCDUFFY Give me this thing. BARMAN What the hell do you think you're doin? Give me my book back! MCDUFFY I'm sick of your damn Mills & Bone. He throws it across the pub, then turns to Furlough. FURLOUGH As I was saying, the T.V serial was Brilliant. I've got all five episodes On tape. BARMAN Shut up, talk about something Different! MCDUFFY (To the Barman) For the past fifteen minutes now, You've ***** you damn Pig****** voice through my ears, And if I had any sense I'd shoot You, with your shotgun! BARMAN What? MCDUFFY You're as annoying as hell. I hate your ass. BARMAN Go get that book. And Give it to me and maybe I won't get my friends on You. FURLOUGH Go Pig******' get It yourself BARMAN I don't wanna Get it. I want You to, you doofus. FURLOUGH (Gives him the finger) Kiss my *** BARMAN Well I'll get my mates On y'. MCDUFFY (Slowly) I A-M N-O-T S-C-A-R-E-D! FURLOUGH Yeh, we'd kick Your bullocks backwards. MCDUFFY Did you see that Film which was on Last week, it's called Um-"Neighbours of the swan-house". FURLOUGH Yeah, it's great in-it? MCDUFFY Did you see that bit, when That guy with the Blonde Hair and shades, shoved a Stick of dynamite in that Gangster's pants? FURLOUGH Yeh, yeh (laughs) Did you see The film after it? "Night of The living dead?", y'know, the Re-make. With that guy off "The Rock" in it. That was just brutal. Shame the black-guy died In the end. The woman Survived, but she was awful! MCDUFFY Got the DVD of it. FURLOUGH DVD? I didn't know It was out on DVD. MCDUFFY Yeh. I thought that bald-guy shouldn't Have survived till nearly the end, zombie's Shoulda got him before. FURLOUGH The woman shot him in the End. MCDUFFY I know. I did see it, Straight in the head. I musta missed the part When the black-guy died first. I was sure he survived. Then again I haven't seen It since '99. The zombie's look Freaky, though. BARMAN You like rubbish films. MCDUFFY Shut your face, ******. I really hate people, Like you, I really do, Butting in, why don't You talk to your friends. (pause) If they exist. A very pretty, Bikini-wearing Blonde enters, and stands Next to McDuffy, ogling him. He doesn't notice. Suddenly a drunken, slurred voice speaks. MAN (O.S) (To the woman) Hey! Hot-Girl! She turns round, and sees, Four mean hell's angels... They all ogle The Blonde's butt, apart from the leader, who stares at McDuffy. The Barman stares coldly at the men. BARMAN Get the hell outa here. Biker#1- called Rod, stares at the Barman ROD. Make us, Pigface. The Barman pulls his sawn-off shotgun from underneath the table, and tries to shoot Rod. But another hell's angel, Duncan grabs the gun. FURLOUGH/MCDUFFY HEY! Rod then directs his attention to McDuffy, Furlough and the Blonde. ROD Wow...think you're the tough-un's round 'ere? McDuffy licks his lips, and Furlough rolls up his Shirt-sleeves, they know these bikers mean trouble. The Blonde tries to run off, but Rod grabs her. ROD Who're you, Babe. Wanna Get hot wimme'? Everyone laughs. She ignores him. ROD Huh? BIKER#3 I think she's ignoring you, Roddie. ROD Excuse me, but I'm talking to you. Are you ignoring me? The Blonde looks at him. BLONDE Now why would I want to ignore An arsehole like you? Everyone laughs, but Rod who growls menacingly. ROD You know, I think I need to Teach you a lesson, bitch. Rod grabs her, and is about to punch her. -WHEN- Furlough runs forward and pushes Rod, it's Enough to knock him off her, he gives a snort of anger, and turns to Furlough. (Now action fans-this is just a taster of what action is about to come!) FURLOUGH Leave the girl, you idiotic ****-tub! Rod tries to punch him---Furlough ducks, and kicks him between the balls, then punches him. Rod lets out a painful groan. ROD You gonna pay for that, fool. Rod charges to him, whipping out a flick-knife. The Blonde screams and looks at Furlough. BLONDE Run, run! He'll kill you! (Furlough shakes his head) Rod takes a furious drunken slash at him - Furlough grabs his hand, and throws him over His head, still holding his hand. Then he slams the blade down into the felt of a pool table before delivering a Series of kicks that send Rod spinning and crashing into a table. The patrons of the table jump away. Biker#1 swings his leg at Furlough in a high sweeping-kick. Furlough grabs his foot and throws the man in the air, he hits his head on a light-bulb, and it blows up in sparks. Duncan lunges forward and grabs McDuffy around the waist, McDuffy tries to shake him off, but they trip over and crash to the ground. The smaller man, McDuffy immediately pushes Duncan off of him and jumps to his feet - as Duncan staggers up McDuffy chuckles and lands a axe-kick to the spine which sends Duncan reeling backwards. Duncan still won't give up, he grabs Rod's bloody flick-knife, then jumps at McDuffy, McDuffy is small, he only stands at 5'8 and Duncan is about 6'1. But this makes no difference as--- Duncan grabs McDuffy round the face, and tries to stab him. But McDuffy brutally bites his hand. DUNCAN AIEE! McDuffy punches him across the nose, a mixture of blood and bogies fall from his nose. McDuffy bites his tongue, and lands a powerful spinning scissors kick on Duncan's neck. Duncan shouts. McDuffy scratches his chin, and punches him five times. Duncan falls to the ground. Battered and bruised. A Wino is near him, The Wino is anxious to get into the fight, so he grabs a Whiskey bottle and tries to smash it over McDuffy's head. McDuffy grabs the Wino's hand, and crushes it in his vice-grip. The Wino drops to the ground, still clutching his bottle, he tries to kick McDuffy, but McDuffy throws him across the floor. MCDUFFY Wow...Wee Biker#2 approaches from behind Furlough, but Furlough backhands him full across his ugly face Biker#3 hits Furlough across the jaw - Furlough Clutches his jaw, and punches him full across the face. Biker#2 gets up, and tries to stab Furlough with a pocket-knife. Furlough grabs the small-weapon and punches Biker#2 across the chest, this doesn't drop the man, but it makes him yelp in pain. Furlough takes the whiskey-bottle from the Wino's hand and smashes it over Biker#2's head, this drops him. Biker#3 jumps on the Furlough's back. Biker#3 is about 6'1, but Furlough dwarfs him, at his immense height of 6'8. Furlough backs into the wall, and Biker#3 slips down it. Furlough grabs him by the throat, and choke-slams him through a pool-table. Rod springs to life brandishing a mean looking pool cue- people stand clear- Rod charges McDuffy, and throws the Pool Cue at him. The small man smoothly catches it, and throws it back at him. MCDUFFY Wanna play catch? Rod clumsily, charges McDuffy, but he slips over, and ends up at McDuffy's feet. McDuffy grabs the Pool Cue and snaps it in half. Rod is too punch-drunk and alcohol-drunk to realize that this guy's too tough for him, either that or he doesn't want to risk losing his reputation. And he realizes that the crowd are cheering him on, so he leaps at McDuffy, McDuffy was expecting this, and with lightning fast reflexes, he claps both Pool-Cue halves into either side of Rod's face. So Rod trips and crashes into a heap on the floor. One of the Bikers weakly attacks him, McDuffy back-flips onto a table, and kicks the Biker across the head. Duncan sums up the last of his strength and jumps at Furlough, Furlough grapples with him, and both men crash to the ground- Duncan hits his head on the floor and falls unconscious. Both men stand back to back. And stare hard at the watchers. They all cheer loudly. Furlough & McDuffy hit a high-five. And wink to each other. McDuffy looks to the Blonde, but she runs off. McDuffy & Furlough shrug. FURLOUGH Hey, let's go get a meal at the café. MCDUFFY Good idea. BARMAN Hey! Hey! Whatta' bout the mess in my bar? FURLOUGH (Refers to the Hell's angels) Charge 'em, they started it. The two exit. BIKER#3 Little & Large! FURLOUGH (O.S) I can hear you. MARVIN'S CAFÉ-LATE AFTERNOON Furlough & Barton are sitting in the tiny café, there are three tables, and they are sitting between the 1st and the 3rd tables. A plump, gum-chewing waitress walks up to them. MCDUFFY (Quietly) You watch how stupid those waitresses are. WAITRESS (Didn't hear him) What would y' like, boys? MCDUFFY Um, a big plate of ****. WAITRESS (Absent-mindedly) Would you like that with fries or chicken-nuggets. Furlough sniggers. MCDUFFY Actually I'll have a plate of chicken and chips, oh...and a packet of pork-scratchings. WAITRESS Sure (writes it down) And you? FURLOUGH A bowel of **** and chips. WAITRESS Right. She walks off. MCDUFFY Ha! You actually ordered it? FURLOUGH Why not? MCDUFFY Ha. FURLOUGH I wonder if she'll bring it. Do you think she will? I mean, I'll be Pretty *****-off if She does. MCDUFFY Well you did order it. I've heard stuff about This place. It's a Weird-place, two People claim to have Been abducted by Aliens here. GRUFF VOICE (O.S) Yeh, you must be the Aliens. You're new Round here. And you're ugly. McDuffy & Furlough look up, and for the first time, They become aware that someone has been standing above Them. He has a bald head, with a red hair-band round it, he has a thin orange-waistcoat, behind it, is a flabby stomach and muscular arms. He is also wearing ripped jeans. FURLOUGH Who might you be? GRUFF BLOKE Xander Kennedy. Yeh, I was just joking About the ugly thing, okay? MCDUFFY Right, and what d'you want With us? You're not Asking for a fight, are you? 'Coz if you are, then I'm warning you, we just had one, and I was on form, (indicating Furlough) and so was he. KENNEDY No, I ain't startin' nothin', Unless you are? FURLOUGH We don't wanna But we will if we Have to. KENNEDY Yeh, yeh, whatever. I like the look Of you two, dudes. D'you like the look of Me? He sits down heavily, next to Furlough. KENNEDY (Cont'd) Well do ya? FURLOUGH In what way? MCDUFFY We're not bent-if that's what you mean? KENNEDY Ha. Yeh, I like you, little dude. But I wanna Ask you a favour... FURLOUGH Stop talking about It-and tell us what It is. MCDUFFY We're dying to know. KENNEDY Well as I was saying, Wow, (to McDuffy) nice leather- Jacket. MCDUFFY/FURLOUGH (Annoyed) Just get on with it. KENNEDY I own a nightclub, Called "Jack The Snack". And I need a couple a' tough Guys like ya-selves, to be bouncers For me. Ah' mean, ya don't have to. But drinks-and babes would be on the house. Ya see a certain gang keeps causin' trouble, Y'know smashin' up stuff. And they're Losin' me money. Will ya help me? McDuffy looks a Furlough, they both grin. MCDUFFY How much? KENNEDY I dunno, err, Twenty pound an hour, Workin' hours from 8:00 P.M to 2:00 A.M. Y'know there's pole-dancers, And all that kinda' ****. MCDUFFY Well, we'd Get $120 by the End of the night. Whadda' bout it, John? FURLOUGH G'on then. KENNEDY Thanks, guys. See ya there. He walks off. FURLOUGH Why couldn't he Give us directions? MCDUFFY We'll just find our way there. FURLOUGH Yeh, I could find My way anywhere, if I Could smell $120 in the Air! They both laugh. MCDUFFY Now, where's this meal got To? FULOUGH Kennedy was big, why Couldn't he do it? MCDUFFY Someone's gotta' run the Place. FURLOUGH Pole-dancers, mm. MCDUFFY Free babes, mm. MCDUFFY/FURLOUGH FREE DRINK! They begin laughing again, obviously They're in a happy mood. The waitress comes up, with two plates. WAITRESS Sorry, we ran outa fresh-****, so I Got you the same as him. Furlough shrugs his shoulders, and begins to tuck in. She hands McDuffy the bill, he pays her, there and then, and gives her a $50 tip! Her eyes open, and she kisses him on the cheek, and runs off. FURLOUGH (Shocked) Why give her $50? MCDUFFY Well, we're gonna earn Some red-hot dosh tonight, Aren't we? FURLOUGH Yeh. We sure as Hell are. That Kennedy, Guy seems suspicious, he Might be a Drug-dealer. MCDUFFY Listen, John-you think everyone's a Drug-dealer. FURLOUGH I said he "MIGHT" be One. Furlough and McDuffy have finished their meals already! MCDUFFY C'mon, I need To buy something at the newsagents. They exit. The camper-van is parked on a double yellow-line. A parking ticket is on the windscreen. McDuffy shrugs his shoulders, and puts it onto the car in front. Furlough opens the back, and takes out two different number-plates and swaps round. MCDUFFY They'll never know. He puts on his leather driving-gloves. They drive a little way up the road, to "JAMIE'S NEWSAGENTS". FURLOUGH You go in, I'll stay here. MCDUFFY Right. NEWSAGENTS McDuffy takes eight different porn-mags off the shelves and gives them to the newsagent. A man is hovering in the background. McDuffy pays, and he is about to go, when the man draws a Beretta and aims it at the Newsagent. ROBBER This is a stick-up, Gimme' all the money, you Got in that till. (Turns to McDuffy) Empty your pockets, I'll take your money too. He turns to the Newsagent. ROBBER Hurry up! He turns back to McDuffy, but finds himself staring into the barrel of a giant Magnum .44 revolver, which is held by McDuffy. The Robber jumps back, and the newsagent punches him across the jaw. McDuffy winks at him, he Hands the newsagent the gun, and he realizes that it's a toy! Both men snigger. NEWSAGENT Here, take the Magazines for free. He hands him back his money. MCDUFFY Cheers. He exits. THAT NIGHT-7:42 A taxi is parked near a small-alleyway. Furlough & McDuffy Are in the back-seat, a mean looking-Cabby drives. CABBY The club's down there, (holds his hand out) Money? Furlough hands him the cash. MCDUFFY Pick us up at 2:30 A.M, okay? CABBY No way! I ain't Pickin' no-one up At that time. MCDUFFY Actually I Wouldn't wanna Be stuck in A taxi, with A pratt like you driving, We'll walk. They exit. The Cabby scowls at their retreating forms. CABBY Poofs. McDuffy & Furlough head down the dark-alley. A man is kneeling near a wall, smoking weed. MCDUFFY Hey! Furlough grabs the cigarette and stubs it out. FURLOUGH Don't smoke weed! Okay? The smoker runs at them, wielding a club. But he runs straight into Furlough's iron fist. NIGHTCLUB ENTRANCE-NIGHT It's a small door, they reach the door. Kennedy greets them. KENNDY Phew! Glad you're here. Anyone causes trouble, punch 'em, I'll pay y' a bonus. MCDUFFY Cheers. FURLOUGH Yeh, thanks. KENNEDY You stay there-I'll bring y' a drink, whadda' y' want? FURLOUGH Err, Tetley's. MCDUFFY Budweiser. KENNEDY Right, I'll bring 'em out. He walks into the club. McDuffy rubs his eye. Furlough begins chewing on a wad of gum. He offers McDuffy a stick, he gladly accepts. Suddenly a man appears, his name is Triggs. TRIGGS Lemme' in. MCDUFFY You gotta' pass? TRIGGS No, why? Lemme' in. FURLOUGH Listen, you need a pass to get into this club. TRIGGS I ain't got one. FURLOUGH Well **** off then. TRIGGS No! Lemme' Triggs spits at Furlough. FURLOUGH Right, that does it. Suddenly two men come from behind Triggs. They are DJ Hotz & Reynold Baker. DJ HOTZ Let us in. FURLOUGH Pass? BAKER We ain't got one! FURLOUGH Simple enough, no pass, No go. They begin to laugh. And spit at Furlough and McDuffy. Triggs draws a 9mm. Furlough lunges and grabs Baker's wrist - McDuffy delivers a few mad blows to Baker, Baker crashes to the ground. Furlough kicks Triggs' gun to the ground, but Triggs scrambles for the gun - Furlough STOMPS on his wrist. Triggs shouts as Hotz jumps Furlough from behind Furlough bashes him and then flips him into a dumpster. Triggs staggers up but McDuffy grabs him by the arm and twists him over his head. Hotz, Triggs & Baker get to their feet and rush off. Just as seven punks come down the road. Archer is the leader, a small Chinese-man, with bright-pink dyed hair. Mugz, a green-headed punk, with a spiky-mohiccan. Doll, a bald but huge guy clutching a baseball-bat. Roberto, a punk, with two lines of brown fuzzy hair, which makes an "X". Jagu, a black man with an afro and a machete. Wilmot & Jameson, Two Blonde Siamese twins. DJ Hotz, Triggs and Baker are Behind them. ARCHER (Bad English) Let uz' in. MCDUFFY Gotta' pass? ARCHER Pass? We don't need no pass. We royalty. FURLOUGH No pass---no goin' in. ARCHER Doll. Doll rushes forwards, and swings with his baseball bat, this catches Furlough in the chest, and he is knocked into the night-club. McDuffy turns to Furlough, but when he turns back to the punks, Doll hits him. McDuffy tries to fight them, but he is knocked to the ground, and they begin kicking him in the ribs. Furlough staggers out. Archer runs up the side of the wall, and tries to karate kick Furlough, but with one hand on his bloody chest, he manages to grab Archer's leg and throws him into the punks. The remaining punks grab their wounded and run off. ARCHER (Painfully) We'll be back...AAGH-SHIT! IT HURTS! Furlough pulls his shirt up and we see that there is a small cut there. Kennedy appears. KENNEDY Oh! Have they gone? Sorry I didn't come Sooner. I got Talking and didn't Realize until on of my Friends said that The bouncers were in trouble. Are you okay? MCDUFFY Yeh, just bruised... FURLOUGH And cut. KENNEDY Well, everyone's Here, who should be, So why not Come in? FURLOUGH You haven't Forgot our Free beer, And free women? KENNEDY No, I sure haven't. Come in. McDuffy & Furlough head into the club, it is a small place. About fifty people are there, three pole-dancers are well, "pole-dancing", and there's a bar, with two barmaids and a Barman, a short fat bald Irishman called Bugs. BUGS (Irish) Oo're these people? KENNEDY John Furlough's the big One, Bill McDuffy's the small One. MCDUFFY Average height, Actually. BUGS Yeh, yeh. Whatever. So whadda' ya want, Darlings? MCDUFFY Err, say Kennedy, didn't You buy us some drinks? KENNEDY Oh yeh, So I did. What happened to Those drinks, Bugs? BUGS What? Some Guy walked off With 'em, darling. KENNEDY Ah shit! BUGS But yer' can Have another Two on the House, darlings. Now whadda' Yer' want? MCDUFFY Budweiser. FURLOUGH I think I'll Have a scotch, Haven't had a Whiskey for months. BUGS Right, darlings. He goes to pour them. Kennedy walks over to a Table. A very tall red-haired man is sitting next to His girlfriend, his name is "Orange", and the girl, a short brunette is called Jane. Kennedy says something to him, then points to Furlough & McDuffy, he nods and Kennedy walks into a room, which says "PRIVATE" on the door. "Orange" (Southern accent) Hey, you guys. Come sit over here. MCDUFFY Okay, then. FURLOUGH Say where's Kennedy gone? MCDUFFY Dunno. "Orange" Yo, guys. C'mon. McDuffy & Furlough take their drinks, and sit at the table. Rod, Duncan and two of the Bikers, Stephen & Kay, Are sitting two tables away, they've seen them, and they're keeping a low-profile. All four are heavily bandaged. Rod is playing with his flick-knife, which has now been cleaned. ROD You seen who's over there? DUNCAN Oh, shit, Hadn't seen them. KAY Oh, yeh. They're th' bouncers. STEPHEN No ****? ROD None what so ever. Suddenly Kennedy, and a small Chinese man Head over to them, and hold a quick abrupt conversation. Duncan & Rod follow them back to the "PRIVATE" door. Stephen & Kay stay back. MEANWHILE Furlough & McDuffy are talking to Jane & "Orange". McDuffy turns to the pole-dancers, and sees them. "Orange" Y' see that one there, In the middle? Well, she's the Hottest. JANE Every girl Wants to be like Her, she's Called Candy-girl. Bit 'uv a bitch. Don't really like her personality. FURLOUGH I'd say she's rather plain-looking Myself. But, then again I'm not sure. She's wearing heavy Make-up. "Orange" All of 'em do, 'part from ma' Jane, here. She's a natural-beauty. Through-through. JANE Oh shut up, honey. They kiss. "Orange" You gotta' girl, y'self? MCDUFFY Who me? "Orange" Both of y'. MCDUFFY I had a girl Back In Britain, Name of Lily. Pretty girl, ran Off with another Guy. "Orange" Yeh, I had that, and you? FURLOUGH Me? No. Had a few Girls, but no Long-lasting relationship. MCDUFFY I was with Lily For two years, I'd Bought her an Engagement ring, just Went round to... -FLASHBACK- McDuffy is about a year younger, and he has A small moustache. He walks to a house, Which is one of many in a housing-estate. He has a small Maroon box. The camper-van is parked outside. Furlough is no-where To be seen. McDuffy clears his throat and knocks on the door. No reply. McDuffy raises his eyebrow, he knows she's at home. He looks through the letter-box. MCDUFFY Lily? Lily? You there? A faint series of hushed screams greet him. MCDUFFY ****! They're killing her in there! He runs back, then rams against the door with his shoulder, it weakens it, but doesn't break it. MCDUFFY Shit! He looks around for something, then sees the lounge-window. With one quick charge, he smashes through the glass, and falls onto a red-carpet. A small Scottish-terrier greets him. He coaches it. MCDUFFY Jack, where's missus? The little dog barks, and runs off. MCDUFFY (Muttering) Useless flea-bag. He hears another burst of screaming, immediately he runs into the hallway, and gallops up the stairs. Two steps at a time. The screaming is coming from the bedroom, McDuffy's hair is all wild, and he is hot and bothered. He rips the door open, and looks inside. A man is on top of Lily, a tall brunette. MCDUFFY What the hell? LILY Oh my gosh! Bill! I'm so sorry! MAN **** off, arsehole, you're old news! MCDUFFY Lily! How can you do this to me? LILY Gee, I'm sorry Billy, it's just, he's... MCDUFFY More exciting than me? LILY Well, yeh. MAN Now-piss off. -CRACK-, McDuffy punches him in the jaw, the punch is so hard, that it sends him straight across the room, and he -BANGS- against the window, almost falling through it. The man's jaw is obviously broken. LILY Niall! She runs to the man and helps him up. MCDUFFY You cow! How can you. Look what I got you. (Shows them the box) Yeh, look. (Opens it, they see the engagement ring) ****! ****! That's 320 pounds worth of my hard-earned money down the ******' drain. Lily, I can't *****' believe you. NIALL (Gets up) Get back, dude. You're old news. MCDUFFY You've already said that. NIALL Well I said it again. Now get out before I call the police. McDuffy hands him the ring. MCDUFFY HERE! HERE! You ****** take it. Go on, go on-you seem to be taking My place, so why not take this. Go on, here-here take it. NIALL Really? MCDUFFY No. POW! He throws Niall over a table, and he hits a vase, it smashes. Niall gets up and attacks McDuffy with a piece of the vase. McDuffy Chops his Hand, almost breaking it. Niall drops it, McDuffy grabs Him round the neck and holds him off the ground. LILY (Grabs McDuffy's hand) No, Billy-don't-don't. McDuffy lets go, and Niall CRASHES to the ground. McDuffy Exits, looking distraught. MCDUFFY (O.S) Keep outa my sight. -END FLASHBACK- "Orange" Wow, how piss-worthy. Oh look, the singing starts. Everyone turns to the stage. A woman is moving between the poles, singing Don Maclean's "American Pie". She is the Blonde, who McDuffy & Furlough saved in the bar. FURLOUGH Well, well, well, look who It is. MCDUFFY Wonder if she'll Recognize us? FURLOUGH Nah, doubt it. But who knows. MCDUFFY You wanna Flirt with her, or Should I? FURLOUGH You do it, let's see the Maestro do it. "Orange" Oh you don't stand no chance with Natalie. FURLOUGH Is that her name? JANE Yeh. She's gotta' boyfriend? MCDUFFY (More than interested) Who? "Orange" Milky Savage. FURLOUGH Where would he be? Jane points, to a short, thin Blackman, who has lots Of gold chains hanging off Him. Milky is cheering at her. A few punk-friends are round him. MCDUFFY What does she see In him? JANE She sees nothing, But fear. She's scared of him? "Orange" She ain't scared, she's shit-scared. MCDUFFY What for? He's no Bigger'n me. "Orange" Size, ain't everything, remember. He's a tough mother******. He beats her-frequently. FURLOUGH I hate the Pig******* who do that Kinda thing. JANE Well there's other Stuff about him. (Looks to "Orange") Should we tell 'em? "Orange" Go on, then. JANE Well Milky, isn't His real name, It's Angelo-de Neworce. McDuffy & Furlough are Taken a-back. MCDUFFY What the drug kingpin? FURLOUGH Is that really Him? Or are You just having Us on? "Orange" No we're not. Angelo-de Neworce, Drug kingpin? Contract killer? Arms-dealer? FURLOUGH/MCDUFFY Yeh. "Orange" That's him. FURLOUGH He doesn't deal Drugs on the premises does he? "Orange" Yeh. Kennedy may have the body of and be a strongman, but he ain't gonna stand up to Milky. Y' see those three punks there? MCDUFFY Yeh. What about 'em? "Orange" He's got about fifteen more of 'em, those three're the only one's with passes, I believe you got In a fight with Some of 'em? FURLOUGH Yes, we got in a bloody good fight. "Orange" He's after you Then, guys. MCDUFFY (Savagely) Just let him try, I'll rip his bullocks out through his gob. "Orange" No you won't, You touch him, And you'll Have 500 bullets And 10 knives Shoved in ya **** before ya know it. JANE He speaks the Truth, but don't Swear, Jake. "Orange" Don't call me Jake, I don't Like that name, Janey. JANE Oh. Rod and the Chinese man come out of the "PRIVATE" place, Rod goes to Stephen & Kay, he speaks to them, and they follow him to the "PRIVATE" door. The small Chinese man walks to "Orange's" table. "Orange" Hi, Miguel. What can I do For ya? MIGUEL (Heavy Chinese accent) Bring them to The "arena". "Orange" Okay, c'mon guys, stay here, Janey. JANE Right. FURLOUGH Where are We going? "Orange" To the private-place. "Orange" & Miguel lead the way, talking in hushed voices. The four go through the "PRIVATE" door. METALLIC CORRIDOR It's very modern. Three doors are round it. Furlough & McDuffy are lead into the 2nd door. ROOM It's pitch-black, a small lamp Is turned on. MCDUFFY'S P.O.V MCDUFFY What the ****'s goin' on? A torch shines into his face. A fist -CRACKS- him across the jaw, he smashes into the wall. Furlough jumps at "Orange", seeing that he is the one who threw the punch. Suddenly Miguel jumps out from the blackness, he strikes Furlough with a Karate-kick. Furlough falls to his knees. Miguel karate chops him in the throat. Blood comes at Furlough's mouth and he -SLAMS- head down onto the hard wooden-floor. Miguel pulls McDuffy up and "Orange" holds him, as Miguel tries out all different kinds of martial-arts kicks & blows. McDuffy cries out, and tries to fall unconscious. But he can't, as he is kicked in the chin- Furlough tries to help but he is thrown through a door. "Orange" & Miguel then throw in the battered McDuffy. ARENA Furlough & McDuffy are a bit groggy. Flashing lights and a huge cheering crowd bring them to their senses. They look around, and find that they're in a small wrestling-ring. Furlough sees Kennedy. FURLOUGH Hey you, what's going on? Before he finishes the word "on", a giant of a man, rips through a door, and rams into him, with the full force of a bull. Furlough just finishes the word on, as he's catapulted through the air, and into the ring-ropes. Furlough's nose is cut open, on the ring-rope. The man lets out a roar, and turns on the shocked McDuffy. The crowd cheers "Rhino", "Rhino". The man, Rhino charges into McDuffy just steps out the way, but Rhino bounces off the ropes and shoulder-barges him in the spine. McDuffy flies over Rhino's head, and lands in a crumpled heap. Rhino seems to enjoy himself. He charges over to Furlough and picks him up over his head. RHINO RAAAAAAR. RAAAAAR. RAAAAR. He throws Furlough into the crowd. McDuffy has gotten up and seen this. MCDUFFY (To Rhino) YOU SHOULDN'T A' DONE THAT! He jumps into the air, and hits Rhino with a staggering blow, but it doesn't even slow the 7 foot+ giant. He grabs McDuffy by the throat, and is about to crush his throat, when Furlough comes up behind him, with a thick plank of wood -SCH-CRACK-. Rhino screams for the first time in his adult life. He turns round, and ROARS, and the ROAR is so blood-curdling, that the audience jump back. Rhino roars again, Furlough strikes again, Rhino roars, Furlough strikes. Finally Rhino falls to the ground, and the plank is snapped. McDuffy gets to his feet He STAMPS on Rhino's foot a couple of times. But the giant gets to his feet, and takes a Derringer out from somewhere. RHINO DIEEEE-RAAAR. MCDUFFY Quick...Kill him. Rhino squeezes the trigger, but it misses, as Furlough slams him across the head with the plank, Rhino drops to the ground. Soon the room is fully lighted. "Orange", Kennedy & Miguel come up to them. MIGUEL We're sorry We had to do this To you. FURLOUGH You oughta' be, He nearly killed us! McDuffy grabs Kennedy by the scruff of the neck, Miguel pushes his hands off. KENNEDY Wow! Wow! Wow! Cool it. Now listen, ya got a big bounty on ya head. Ya know Milky Savage? (Furlough & McDuffy nod) Well-you ****** off some a' his men. Y'know, those punks. Me 'n' him ain't Friends, but he's gotta' pass for this place. I'm in the drug-business, don't take 'em m'self, but I'm kinda' like a delivery boy. Now I've decided to take out this Savage guy, as a favour for my bouncers. And if you want the bounty raised off your head, then you gotta' help me. I can chat with him, and maybe he'll raise it from your head, so I need a job from you two. MCDUFFY (Concerned) Listen-we don't do drugs. KENNEDY Did I say it Was anything to do With drugs? FURLOUGH Right. We want this bounty raised from Our heads if we do this job. MCDUFFY And the job is? KENNEDY Go to your hotel, and Sleep. I'll call you in the Morning. MCDUFFY Right, the number Is... KENNEDY I'll find out. HOTEL ROOM McDuffy & Furlough are lying on single beds, next to each Other, a porn show is on the T.V, both men are watching it. The phone rings, McDuffy leans over and answers it. MCDUFFY Hi? VOICE Hello, William. MCDUFFY It's Bill, arsehole. Do I know you? VOICE I am the Goblin of Death. And I am warning You, James McDuffy & you, John Furlough that danger awaits you, leave Forestown immediately. The Goblin of Death has spoken. MCDUFFY Why y... Goblin Of Death hangs up. MCDUFFY You hear that? FURLOUGH Wow, yeh! MCDUFFY Shall we leave? FURLOUGH/MCDUFFY Nah. The phone rings. FURLOUGH I'll, ring, and if it's him... (He picks up the phone) Hello? "Orange" Hi, John. Me & Jane jus' had the weirdest Thing, this guy called "The Goblin of Death" Called, he told us to leave town, 'else we'd die! Can y' believe it! I was born here! No mother******'s gonna boot me out. Jane's shit-scared. She wants to call the police, I Just said "What's the point? He ain't gonna kill me, is he? FURLOUGH He called us too. "Orange" Did he, really? FURLOUGH Uh-huh. "Orange" Well I gotta go, see ya. He hangs up. Furlough drops the phone. FURLOUGH That was "Orange", he got the same phone-call as us. MCDUFFY Is he moving out? FURLOUGH No. MCDUFFY I'm gonna get some sleep. SLOWLY FADE TO- INSIDE OF CAMPER-VAN 6:30 A.M Furlough has his eyes closed and he's trying to get some rest, but he can't, as McDuffy has loud hip-hop music coming from the radio. McDuffy, while he drives is humming the song. McDuffy sees a bandaged Baker on the side of the road. He "Bibs" the horn, and Baker jumps in the air. Furlough & McDuffy laugh at him. BAKER Hey arseholes! The camper-van goes faster, mud splatters Baker. BAKER Damn you! He takes a 9mm pistol out, and fires at the camper-van, it swerves into a lay-by. Baker fires another shot, Furlough rolls out the way, the bullet just skims past McDuffy's head. Furlough charges at Baker, he panics and fires a few shots. -BLAM- A shot hits Furlough, he's thrown backwards across the road. -BLAM- His next shot, is aimed for McDuffy, it is just wide from its target. McDuffy tackles Baker. Furlough gets up. -BLAM- A gunshot whizzes through McDuffy's hair. He punches Baker twice. Furlough stamps on Baker's hand. The gun skids across the ground. Baker swings his leg violently, and it takes Furlough's legs out from under him. He crashes to the ground. McDuffy collects himself, and trips Baker, both of them fall onto Furlough, soon a mad fight is staged on an empty road. Water from muddy-puddles splashes them. Baker takes a knife from his pocket, and attacks McDuffy. Furlough manages to gain control of Baker's knife hand, and the knife is turned onto him. Baker kicks Furlough in the groin, and he twists round and falls down. MCDUFFY That was a mistake...****hole! He now has the 9mm pistol, and he shoots Baker, it sends the thug flying backwards. McDuffy turns to Furlough, who is struggling to get up. MCDUFFY You hurt? FURLOUGH No, not as much as him. Bullet grazed my head. MCDUFFY Your balls? FURLOUGH I think I can still use 'em? They snigger. FURLOUGH (Cont'd) We'd better get outa here. MCDUFFY MM. We're late. CUT TO- Furlough, McDuffy, Natalie, "Orange" and Bugs all standing in a row. A muscular but dirty man, wearing a white-vest also stands with them, this is Buddy. KENNEDY (Appearing) I gotta job for Ya. BUGS Somethin' good, darling? KENNEDY Not good, but pig****** important. Now listen-and listen good. One of My girls, Sandra has been kidnapped by a small-time Drugs-dealer. He's got a small army of helpers, but really it ain't nothing to worry about. They're probably gonna be armed, but I want you to deal with 'em. BUGS Listen, darling. I'm just a simple barman, I serve drinks, I don't wanna Be doing this. I've hardly shot a gun Before. KENNEDY Ah, but you've used one before. BUGS Yes, bu... KENNEDY No buts, I ain't got A gang, that's why I'm using ya. MCDUFFY Me and John, here. We are Fist-fighters. We're bare-knuckle Fighters, and we don't use guns, And this's got something to do With drugs, hasn't it? Anyway drugs're illegal. KENNEDY So is bare-knuckle boxing. NATALIE (Meaning McDuffy & Furlough) I don't wanna Work with these ****s, They, um, suck. BUDDY Look, baby. I don't wanna Work with no-one, but I have To, so why d'you have to Keep complaining? KENNEDY Well said. NATALIE Now what's the mission? KENNEDY Well, you guys are taking a trip To the Cansworth docks. I have Hired a mechanic, Buddy here... BUDDY Hi, hi. KENNEDY ...He is an expert working with tools. (Someone mutters "Clever") We need to save my girl, Sandra. Then, we, well you, must also Sabotage the engine of a boat, Which will be carrying heroin. Any objections? (None) Good. CANSWORTH DOCKS-11:45 A.M A truck pulls up, the back door swings open. Buddy & McDuffy jump out, they are armed with a large red tool-box, and a revolver each. The driver's door opens, Furlough gets out, a high-powered Barreta sniper-rifle hangs across his shoulder. Bugs & Natalie both have Uzis. "Orange" climbs out of the passenger's seat, also holding an Uzi. He rams a magazine in. Three boats are there. BUDDY Which one are we meanna sabotage? "ORANGE" It's called Randy's Peak. BUDDY Right, me & Bill will take the boat, you guys take out any enemies. BUGS I'll find the girl. FURLOUGH I'll help too. Everyone goes there separate ways. McDuffy leaves Buddy with the tool-box. He runs to the middle boat, and looks at the hull, it reads: "SUGAR MARY". MCDUFFY Damn. He looks at the next boat, it reads: "RED RIVER SKIES". MCDUFFY Nope. BUDDY It's the other-one. MCDUFFY Well done. He looks at the other one, it reads: "RANDY'S PEAK". MCDUFFY Ah-ha. He runs over to Buddy, and they take the heavy tool-box to the ship. Buddy leaves it with McDuffy and he climbs up a small flight of metal steps, McDuffy hands him the tool-box, and Buddy just manages to hoist it up, he pulls McDuffy up, and they both survey the area. MCDUFFY No-one's here. McDuffy & Buddy carry the toolbox round the corner, and collide with: -A MAN HOLDING AN M16- Buddy shots him with his silenced revolver. BUDDY He must be one of the "helpers". They carry the box further round the corner. BUDDY (Cont'd) Now, this should be the Engine-room door... He opens the door, and finds a machine-gun pointed at his head, so much is the shock, that Buddy drops the tool-box, onto his and McDuffy's feet, this causes McDuffy to fall, and he manages to roll round the corner. -BLAM- The gunman fires once, Buddy falls off the boat, and into shallow-water. McDuffy searches for his gun, but the weapon is gone. He peeks round the corner, it is by the Gunman's feet. The Gunman picks it up, and tosses it into the water. MCDUFFY Shit! GUNMAN Come out, come out, little-man. McDuffy sticks his foot round the corner, as the Gunman walks round the side, he trips over, and hits his chin on the metal-railing. He drops his machine-gun, McDuffy catches the gun, and squeezes the trigger. RATTA-TAT-TAT, the Gunman is shot a few times, and he falls over the railings and into the now-red water. MCDUFFY (Peering over the railing) Buddy? Buddy? You there? BUDDY (Faintly) I'm hanging in. MCDUFFY Where are you hit? BUDDY Err (pause) chest. MCDUFFY Badly? BUDDY No. It's kinda painful, but I've had worse. MCDUFFY You think you can help? BUDDY Sorry, Billy. I think I'm too weak. MCDUFFY Shit. Just hang in there, okay, Bud? No reply. MCDUFFY Bud? Bud? You okay? No reply. Machine-gun fire comes from the main building. MCDUFFY Buddy, speak to me, man? No reply. McDuffy bites his bottom-lip, he knows that he can't sabotage it without Buddy's help. MCDUFFY (As he climbs down off the boat) Please let him be okay...please...please let him Be okay... He wades into the water, it is exceptionally red. MCDUFFY Buddy? Buddy? C'mon talk to me... Suddenly something takes his legs out from him. A very bloody Gunman rises out of the water, and stands over McDuffy. We get a close up of him, he has been shot about five times, and there are red splodges and bullet-holes in his bloody-bullet-proof-vest. Blood is bubbling at his mouth. The water, has smudged his blood, and it makes him look like something from a horror-movie. He leans over McDuffy, with Buddy's bloody-revolver. He aims it, something comes from his mouth, it sounds like "die", but it stops, as he falls on top of McDuffy, a spanner is wedged in between his shoulder-blades. He makes a small movement, but stops, dead. BUDDY (Weak) He...d-didn't hurt you d-did he? MCDUFFY (Getting up) No, no. But are you okay? BUDDY Yeh, gimme' a hand. McDuffy pulls him up, he has his hand on his hip, which is bleeding profusely. MCDUFFY I thought you said you were Shot in the chest? BUDDY I thought I had been. It ******* felt like that. Buddy opens the "Engine-room" door. MCDUFFY (Seizing the tool-box by one of it's handles) Gimme' a hand, will y'? BUDDY (Groaning) No, No, I can't. Too weak. MCDUFFY Grr. He somehow manages to drag the tool-box in. They slam the door behind them. McDuffy gladly drops the tool-box. MCDUFFY Okay...Now, where's the engine? He looks around at all the machinery that's in there. BUDDY You're hopeless, it's that thing there. CUT TO- Furlough and the others are in a corridor. A big door is in front of them. "ORANGE" I wonder how Buddy & Bill are getting on. BUGS Who's gonna take this door, darlings? NATALIE I'll take it, the girl should be in here. She kicks the door down. Five armed-men are standing in the room, they turn round shocked. MAN#1 Hey who're you? BUDDAA-BUDDA-BUDDAA-BUDDA. She machine-guns the whole lot of them. All of the men, drop their guns and fall dead. FURLOUGH Wow, feisty. NATALIE Shaddup. She kicks open the next door, a man is holding a skinny-girl round the neck, a gun is pointed to her head. The guy with the gun is Jarred Mahogany. JARRED Don't, don't move, I'll shoot the hell outa her Measly brains. NATALIE Drop her, fucker. She squeezes the trigger, a whole clip of ammo is emptied into Jarred's head, before he can shoot Sandra, she kicks him, and runs into the crowd of men. SANDRA Oh, thank-you, thank-you for saving me. FURLOUGH (Rudely pushing past her) Is there anyone else here? BUGS No, darling. FURLOUGH Shit! I didn't get any-one! "ORANGE" Don't **** y'self about it. FURLOUGH Shaddup you. MEANWHILE Buddy has finished work on the engine. MCDUFFY Have you sabotaged it? BUDDY I haven't sabotaged it, I've set it so it'll blow in twenty seconds. MCDUFFY We'd better get outa here. Just as he is about to run out, the door flies open. Two guys with machine-guns. RATTA-TAT-TAT, Buddy is shot five times, he flies back into the room. BUDDY (Very weak) Run. McDuffy pushes past the men and vaults into the water, just as -BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM- The boat blows into smithereens, the explosion is amazing. Shards of glass, sheets of metal, etc, all go flying. McDuffy is knocked clean out of the water. A piece of glass cuts his cheek. McDuffy hits the ground, as Furlough, Bugs, Natalie, Sandra & "Orange" appear. They all run into the truck, and escape. NATALIE Where's Buddy? MCDUFFY Those bastards killed him! NATALIE What! "ORANGE" Oh shit! Look! A car is driving towards them. FURLOUGH What's wrong with that Car, or is it the driver? "ORANGE" Both. FURLOUGH'S P.O.V Wilmot & Jameson are driving, Jameson is cradling a Rifle in his hands, he fires. -BLAM- "Orange is hit, and he slumps over the steering-wheel. Bugs tries to push him off the steering-wheel. -BLAM- Bugs is hit in the arm, the truck hits the lamp-post, the door falls off it's hinges, and Orange falls into the road. The truck rolls over onto it's back. Wilmot & Jameson park the car, and get out. Wilmot arms himself with a rifle, the same as Jameson's. JAMESON D'you think their dead? WILMOT Dunno-walk cautiously. Jameson goes first, Wilmot aims his rifle. There's a slight-movement in the van. Both men empty their rifles on the truck. -BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM- The two identical twins re-load, and take aim. Bug is kneeling over "Orange". Bug You okay, darling? WILMOT What should we do with them? JAMESON Take 'em prisoner. There's another movement in the truck. Wilmot fires a shot, it hits the truck-engine. -BOOOOOM- The truck blows up. Jameson kicks Bugs across the chin, both him & "Orange" are now both unconscious. JAMESON Boss'll be happy with two hostages. WILMOT Yeh. They both grab Bugs & "Orange" and carry them to the car. WILMOT (Looking at the blazing truck) C'mon. They get in the car, and speed off. We look over at the burning truck, have our heroes been killed? Behind the truck, is a ditch. A hand comes out from the murky-water, then a head pops out. MCDUFFY Am I the only one alive? A hand rests on his shoulder, McDuffy twists round it is Natalie, covered in mud. He can't stop himself from laughing. NATALIE What? MCDUFFY Suits you! He bursts with laughter. She pushes him. He falls into, a muddy Furlough. FURLOUGH (Angry) Hey, ******, You're gonna pay for That. Furlough tries to grab McDuffy, but McDuffy backhands him. Furlough falls into the mud. McDuffy lands on top of him, and starts slugging away at him. Furlough hits him, and McDuffy rolls over, so Furlough is on top. McDuffy puts both hands round Furlough's neck, and begins trying to ring it. But Natalie kicks wildly at them, hits McDuffy in the back of the neck, McDuffy turns to her, and Furlough socks him. McDuffy turns back, and headbutts him in the jaw. Furlough screams, McDuffy headbutts him again, then punches him. Furlough screams again. Furlough bites down on McDuffy's hand, McDuffy screams, Furlough manages to get on top-again. He hits McDuffy, twice. McDuffy knees him in the balls, and awkwardly twists from under him, Furlough lands in a pile of muck, the muck splats Natalie. She screams. McDuffy grabs a pile of dirt, and shoves it in Furlough's mouth. Furlough spits it at McDuffy, he moves his head, slightly, and the dirt hits Natalie, she screams. NATALIE Stop it! Stop it! McDuffy & Furlough look up, they are covered from head to toe in mud and dirt. In fact, if we didn't know that it was them who were fighting, we wouldn't recognize them. NATALIE Look guys, will you Stop this. We need to Rescue "Orange" & Bugs... FURLOUGH (Butting in) From who? NATALIE Milky Savage. MCDUFFY But I thought he Was your boyfriend, And you were scared of Him? NATALIE He is. I am. But I'm gonna have To stand up to him, He's took, and is Gonna kill some of my Friends, I can't go Out with a maggot-fucker Like him. I'm ending this, With a single bullet. (Pause) To the brain. First We gotta find that arsehole, Kennedy. He might help. And I say "MIGHT" strongly. CUT TO- Kennedy standing in a room, with Natalie, Furlough & McDuffy. KENNEDY Right, so you Want me to help you find Two of my friends? My barman, And one of my best-friends. Now, guess what my answer's Gonna be? Furlough No? NATALIE Yes? MCDUFFY Maybe? KENNEDY You're all wrong, of Course I wanna Help, and I'm gonna Help. Now, I know We don't have much time And soon Savage will be demanding A ransom, we can expect it to be in the Range of about two million. (Everyone gasps "WOW") He knows how much I Like my people, one works Well for me, the other is In my gang. MCDUFFY Gang? Eh? Now, Mr.Kennedy You're getting more suspicious all the time. Nightclub, bouncer, drugs, now gang? Whatever next? KENNEDY I'll help, I know What to do. I can get Some of my gang to help You three. But first I'm gonna need guns. NATALIE How d'you expect us to get Guns from? KENNEDY Well I need new guns, And where I always turn Is to Dwayne Roberts, My arms-dealer, he has A pass, but wasn't here Last night. FURLOUGH How much will he Charge, and weapons Will you be needing? KENNEDY He'll do it Free, for me. FURLOUGH Ah, yes, but how will he know We're from you? KENNEDY He had a relationship With Natalie, he'll recognize Her. You'll probably find Him in the netball-courts, down The road from here. He's probably With his gang. FURLOUGH What weapons d'you Want? KENNEDY I'll write 'em down. He takes a notepad, and begins jotting things down, he then hands it to Furlough. FURLOUGH (Reading) Right, so, 9 M16'S, 2 Uzis and a rocket-launcher! You sure he's got This kinda' ****? KENNEDY Yep. All that Plus, whatever you lot Want. Bring 'em To me, in, shall we Say, two hours? NATALIE Right. 23 MINUTES LATER The camper-van pulls up outside a netball-court. A group of black youths are playing netball, Dwayne is a tall, rather skinny Jamaican man, with Dreadlocked hair in a long ponytail. The other Three youths are also Jamaican, they are King, Loopy And Tomcat. They see the flame-streaked camper-van. LOOPY Ah, look it's a rival-gang. DWAYNE **** the mother******s. C'mon, let's play ball. Furlough, McDuffy & Natalie get out. NATALIE Hey, Dwayne. DWAYNE Shit, cops! KING You run, we'll hold 'em off. TOMCAT They won't dare come after us. Dwayne gets near the gate, ready to run. The trio chase him, but King, Loopy & Tomcat step in front of them. LOOPY Stop right there, whadda' you want? NATALIE It's me, Natalie, don't you Recognize me, Loopy. LOOPY Didn't know you'd gone To the cops. He kicks her in the Stomach. MCDUFFY If there's one thing I hate, it's A woman-beater, prepare to Die, donkey*****. He kicks him in the jaw, and slams King's head into The fence. Tomcat takes out a revolver, but McDuffy Takes him down. Furlough and Natalie give chase to Dwayne. McDuffy grabs the revolver and throws it out of the courts. King pulls himself up, and blocks McDuffy's way. MCDUFFY I'm gonna give you till the count Of three, to get outa my way. KING No **** you. MCDUFFY I'll take that as a three. -CRACK- Since King said "**** you", Loopy had risen behind McDuffy, holding a metal-bar, and he had now struck with it, but McDuffy had moved, and it hit King in the top of his bald head. McDuffy twists round, grabs the metal-bar, and: -CRACK- Hits Loopy in the balls with it. Then he turns and looks at Tomcat, challenging him. TOMCAT Err, I. He legs it. McDuffy jogs on. CUT TO- Dwayne is running up some firestairs, Natalie is close behind, Furlough is behind her, and McDuffy is somewhere in the background. Furlough suddenly trips on a steep-step, and falls down the stairs, landing in a crumpled heap at the foot of the stairs. Natalie is still following Dwayne, he jumps through a "Fire-Exit" door. Natalie follows, and finds herself in a small kitchen. Three men are standing round a table. DWAYNE Get her! MAN#1 But that's Natalie. DWAYNE She's helping the cops, man. Two of 'em are outside. MAN#1 Oh, when ya put it like That. He and the other two jump up. NATALIE Get outa my way. MAN#1 No. He kicks her in the hip, it has No affect. She punches him, then flips Him over her head, and down the firestairs. Furlough arrives behind her. Man#2 rushes At her, switchblade in his hands. Furlough Grabs him round the neck and throws him into the table. Man#3 panics, Natalie kicks him out of the way. They Move in on a frightened Dwayne. DWAYNE Okay, okay, I'll go quietly, officer. FURLOUGH We're not in the Police, you twit. DWAYNE What? Oh why Didn't ya say, man? FURLOUGH We tried, but You wouldn't listen. DWAYNE Whadda' ya need? NATALIE We're from Kennedy. DWAYNE Kennedy? Who's that? Natalie suspiciously kicks him in the leg. DWAYNE (Cont'd) Oh yeh-I know him. FURLOUGH Will it be free? DWAYNE Sure will be, man. Furlough hands him the Piece of paper. DWAYNE (Reading) Right, right, yeh. I got all that, right here. FURLOUGH This your house? DWAYNE Uh-huh. FURLOUGH And you keep everything In your house? DWAYNE Where else? McDuffy appears. MCDUFFY I'll take a Magnum .44 revolver. NATALIE Two Uzis for me. FURLOUGH A Barret sniper-rifle. DWAYNE Got it all. FURLOUGH If the Cops ever caught you-you'd be Screwed. DWAYNE Well they haven't yet. Anyway I like living life on the edge. He opens a door, and all sorts of weapons fall out, Almost everything available. FADE TO- Two Eddie Stotbart trucks. Going down a small road. No other traffic is on the road. We follow them as they Go across the long, empty road. Finally they reach a large warehouse. The two lorries stop, and block up the entrance. A door opens up, and a man gets out, he is tall, and built like a brick-wall. He walks to the other lorry, and opens the door, Natalie jumps out, in a camouflaged bikini. She walks to the man. NATALIE Hey, Brick. BRICK Dudes are in the Back. Furlough gets out of the passenger's seat. FURLOUGH When are we gonna Do this? Rod, Miguel & Duncan appear. FURLOUGH Hey, what're you two here for? ROD (Seeing that Furlough's about to punch him) Hey, hey. We're in Kennedy's gang. FURLOUGH What? NATALIE It's true. FURLOUGH So why did you attack us? DUNCAN We didn't know who you were, and we still Don't. FURLOUGH John Furlough, bare-knuckle prize-fighter. ROD I've heard of you. NATALIE We don't have time for all of This, c'mon. They open the backdoors of the lorries, about twenty or so men get out, McDuffy is with them. He has a Magnum .44 in a shoulder-holster. Two men come out of the building. They are Wilmot & Jameson, the twins see what's happening and they throw themselves back, just as a hail of bullets flies their way. INSIDE The warehouse only has two small rooms. Bugs is in one room-bound and gagged. Wilmot & Jameson tip a table over, and hide behind it, an M16 wielding man appears, he looks for them, Wilmot jumps up. -BLAM, BLAM- Hits the man in the chest, sends him flying back. Jameson has a powerful pump-action shotgun, he pops up. -BLAM- He shoots another one of Kennedy's gang. Kennedy and three other gang members burst in firing, Wilmot is hit seven times in the head. Jameson looks up, sees his brother dead, he screams. Then rolls out. -BLAM- McDuffy hits him in the leg. Jameson fires back. -BLAM- Hits another gang-member, the unarmed Kennedy grabs the fallen man's M16. -BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA- Opens fire, Jameson is hit twice, doesn't die. Jumps into an open door. -BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA- Fire rips up the carpet, where Jameson was. Jameson pumps a round into the breech. -BLAM- Hits Kennedy in the arm, felling him. Jameson is in the other room, desperately trying to get to Bugs, he loads. Two gangmen come from behind. -BLAM, BLAM, BLAM- They shoot Jameson, but he still moves to Bugs, he drops his gun, takes out a knife, jumps at Bugs, the fat Irishman kicks him off, but he tries to slash him again. -BOOMF- Furlough fires a sniper-rifle round, hits Jameson, but he still won't give up, crawling toward Bugs, who tries to pull away. -BOOMF- Finally Jameson is hit. In the head. It flies across the room. Three Gangmen, and Kennedy who clutches a Handgun, appear. -BLAM- Before Gangman#1 can reach Bugs, a sniper-rifle bullet blows his arm off his shoulder. He spins round, another Sniper-rifle bullet hits him in the eye! As he spins, he fires a few Rounds off from his Uzi. -BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA- Kennedy narrowly misses being shot, but the other two Gangmen are killed. -BLAM- A bullet hits the floor next to Bugs, the fat-Irishman rolls forward. And he is pulled into safety. KENNEDY Who the **** is firing? Damn it! -BLAM- A bullet hits the wall next to him. KENNEDY (Cont'd) Aagh! Shit! -BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM- The Gangmen open fire, they have no idea where the phantom Sniper is. But they fire anyway. VOICE (O.S) Goblin of Death-Goblin of Death-Goblin of death! -BOOMF- A bullet hits another Gangmember, hitting him in the skull. NATALIE Where the **** is this guy? FURLOUGH (Loading) Whoever he is, he's the Phantom-Sniper. NATALIE Err, that's not funny. That's pathetic. -BOOMF- Another Gangmember is taken down. -BOOMF- Another. -BLAM BLAM BLAM- The Gangmembers return fire. -BOOMF- Another man is killed. NATALIE Oh my Gosh! So many are dying. She runs forward. Milky Savage appears from behind a wooden pillar. Everyone aims, but Milky has his gun to Natalie's head. FURLOUGH Get your filthy-******' hands off the girl, punk! SAVAGE No. MCDUFFY Before I fire. SAVAGE I'll kill her, I Will, I will. (To Natalie) You're a dirty Thieving bitch, Aren't you? MCDUFFY Go on, kill Her. She means nothing To me. Suddenly steel touches his face. All the Gangmembers, including Kennedy Bugs, and "Orange" who comes Out of no-where, have Their guns to the Two men's heads. MCDUFFY What the hell is Going on 'round here? KENNEDY The whole Thing's a Set-up, punk. (Laughs) And you two prats Fell for it. Last Week you had a fight, Didn't you? (They nod) Against a guy called "Bobby Graham"? FURLOUGH Yeh, so? KENNEDY Ha, he was Our man, me and Milky's. Yep, You never woulda Guessed it, would Ya? Nope. And you Two won, we don't Like that. One Little bit. So We got you working For us. We got Close. Now we're Gonna kill ya. (Pause) Oh, and the name's Angelo Juliano. Ya know? The Famous Italian Gangster? Milky here is Just one of my Gang. And Natalie is just some Filthy Prostitute. Before we shoot you, We got some friends who wanna Say hello. MCDUFFY Damn it! You're evil! You Let all those people die Just because you wanted to Kill us? JULIANO Yep. Good actors ain't they? Rod, Duncan, the other bikers, The Robber, Cabby, Triggs, Mugz, Archer, Doll, Roberto, Jaqu and Miguel Enter. ROD (Pushing to the front) My knife wants to say "Hi". FCUSH! He jams it in McDuffy, not In a critical place, but in The shoulder. Furlough turns To punch him, but Bugs' gun Is still to his head. He turns on Bugs, The Irishman shrugs. Furlough shrugs too, Then he sneakily takes out Rod's switchblade from McDuffy's Shoulder and FCUSH! RAMS it in Bugs' head. JULIANO DIE! BLAM, BLAM, BLAM Miguel and Natalie are shot, everyone Turns to the door. D.J Hotz Stands there, pump-action shotgun In his hand. Before anyone can say anything, McDuffy and Furlough take the Chance. McDuffy grabs Savage Round the neck, and smashes His head through the weak wooden-wall. Furlough is battling the Punks, blocking their Varied blows. He spins, tosses Mugz across the room and he SLAMS Into Cabby and they both go flying. Roberto tries to advance Behind Furlough, but Furlough Realizes and he Clobbers Roberto to The ground. Archer Has a gun to Furlough's Head. But he is too Slow in pulling the Trigger. -BLAM- D.J Hotz shoots him in the Face. Then he clicks His fingers. And Cops Begin flooding the room. Triggs tries to run, But McDuffy puts A hand on his shoulder. MCDUFFY Going somewhere? Triggs panics, and The Cops arrest him. The Gangmembers put Up a fight, and the Cops have to fight, And they kill all the Gangmembers. Furlough punches Archer as many Times as he can, but Rod Interviens, angrily, Furlough Tosses him back. But Duncan Attacks with a Biro-pen. Furlough draws his Handgun and shoots Him in the foot. The Cabby is also Arrested. Duncan kicks Furlough, And tries to stab him Again, but Furlough has Him by the throat, and Tosses him outside. Robber comes up behind McDuffy, who struggles With a Gangmember, before Robber can fire his gun, McDuffy backhands him across The face. "Orange" leaps onto Furlough's back, and rains blows down hard. Furlough grimaces, but backs against a wall. "Orange" falls down, but is straight back up again with a Machine-gun. -BLAM- Before the deadly Weapon can fire, D.J Hotz shoots Him through the Hand. This is enough to Topple "Orange", But it doesn't kill Him. "Orange" fiddles in his pocket, and comes out with a dagger. He stabs Furlough in the Back. The big man tries to Stand, but CRASHES To the floor. McDuffy hasn't notice, He is fighting Rod. When he smashes A Pot over Rod's Head, he turns and Finds "Orange" standing Over Furlough. MCDUFFY You pig****** swine! He throws himself onto "Orange", the two are a mass of fists, legs and violence. "Orange" gets a hold of McDuffy's neck, and tries to break it. But a huge shadow Falls over him. It Is Furlough. "Orange" Turns, Furlough has The dagger in his hand. He brings it down Once, twice, three times, Four times, five times, Six times, seven times. "Orange" is definitely dead. MCDUFFY John! You okay? FURLOUGH Aagh! Fine. Everyone else has Either been arrested, Knocked out or killed. D.J HOTZ Hey you guys, I'm L.A.P.D Real name's Garry Jansen, sorry About all that shit. I was working undercover. Try'na get entrance. Nice job, guys. (To Furlough) I think we'd Better get you To hospital. FURLOUGH Yeh. D.J HOTZ (To 2 officers) O'Connor, Codey, Escort this guy To hospital. Furlough exits with Two Cops. MCDUFFY Where's Juliano? Rounded him up, have You? D.J HOTZ No, I thought You'd got him, Hadn't you? MCDUFFY No, I thought You'd got him. D.J HOTZ No. MCDUFFY/HOTZ Shit! MCDUFFY He musta Gone upstairs. I wanna Take him on My own. D.J HOTZ Okay, but Call if ya Need help. MCDUFFY Right. ON THE ROOF Juliano stands there, Savage behind him. JULIANO D'you... Suddenly McDuffy bursts In, Magnum raised. MCDUFFY Hi-sorry I didn't knock. -BLAM- He hits Savage in the Head, then turns To Juliano. And squeezes The trigger. -CLICK- The guns empty. -BLAM BLAM- Juliano fires Twice, one Bullet hits McDuffy in the shoulder. McDuffy falls from the roof Into a small alley, Juliano Follows. With a psychotic gaze in his eyes, Juliano continues the assault, Destroying the wall with rounds and rounds Of ammo. McDuffy has no-where to hide. Juliano fires and fires His .45, bullets Pepper the walls Behind McDuffy. Who is dodging, And running. Dodging And running. Juliano's gun clicks On an empty-round. McDuffy licks His lips, and Runs, with His whole bodily Force he SLAMS Into Juliano. The sheer force Throws Juliano Across the alley, and His head hits the Concrete. But he Is still alive, and Kicks McDuffy. But McDuffy shrugs And SOCKS him In the stomach, then Kicks him the ankle, SOCKS him again, Then hits him with An uppercut. Juliano spins and Crashes into The brick wall, he Bounces off it. And into McDuffy's FIST. -POW- Juliano hits the Wall, McDuffy grabs A plank, and CRACKS Juliano in the groin With it. Juliano drops to His knees, then Hits his chin on a dumpster. McDuffy CRACKS him In the groin again, Then again. He Then loads his Magnum. MCDUFFY Say your prayers, you ******* ****** BLAM. BLAM. BLAM. He fires three shots all three hit Juliano, but the Gangster manages to Crawl behind a dumpster. He takes Off his jacket, and we see that He's wearing a bulletproof vest. CUT TO: Furlough runs up to D.J Hotz. D.J HOTZ How'd you get on? FURLOUGH Fine, they just Gave me a few quick stitches. I heard shots-where's Bill? D.J HOTZ He went out to get Juliano. FURLOUGH On his own? D.J HOTZ Uh-huh. FURLOUGH Shit! That guy's a Madman. OUTSIDE Juliano, looking pale, takes out a Beretta, And loads it, hands shaking. MCDUFFY Come out, come out wherever you Are. Suddenly Juliano leaps up from Behind Bill and SMASHES the Beretta Over his head. JULIANO Now it's my turn to fight- And I fight dirty. He kicks McDuffy in the chin, Then smashes his face against The wall, grazing it. He then digs his elbow into McDuffy's neck, pushing his Face further and further Into the wall. MCDUFFY AAAAAGGGHHH! There's a mad glint in Juliano's eyes, and he Keeps whooping and cheering. JULIANO (Psycho) DIE! DIE! DIE! YOU PIG! He pushes McDuffy's face further And further, and we hear the bricks Grinding against his face. McDuffy suddenly breaks free Of Juliano's grasp and shoves A Biro into his shoulder. This momentarily stops the madman, McDuffy dives for his Magnum. But Juliano kicks it away. JULIANO I wanna Kill you without any Guns. He kicks it further away, then Drops his Beretta. JULIANO See? No guns. Juliano pushes his thumbs into The fallen McDuffy's neck. We flinch at the sheer pain That the man must be going through. Just then Furlough grabs Juliano Round the neck, and pulls the Mad mobster back. His head Clangs against the Wall. McDuffy gets up, his neck is bloody and He is bruised all over, with a black eye. MCDUFFY Thanks, man. Ooooh, I feel like I've Been run over by a freaking Bus. FURLOUGH Huh, that guy's almost as fat as one! CRAAACK! Juliano flies forward, and SMASHES Furlough over the back of The head with both his elbows. Furlough flies forward into the Wall and bounces off. JULIANO (Grabbing his Beretta) Let's duel. BAM! He knocks McDuffy to his knees Then places the gun barrel in his Mouth. JULIANO (Cont'd) So what d'you think About death? MCDUFFY Wi-uh-ae-fk-ey JULIANO (Trying to annoy him) Pardon? MCDUFFY (Distressed) gee-ta-fk-ti-ota-mo-mut JULIANO (Still trying to annoy him) What? MCDUFFY (P***** off) gee-ta-fk-ti-ota-mo-mut JULIANO (Trying to annoy him still) What d'ya say? FURLOUGH He said "Get this ****** thing Outa my mouth". Juliano turns round, and sees The big towering shadow Of JOHN FURLOUGH. Juliano Pulls the Beretta out of McDuffy's mouth, and onto Furlough. BIG MISTAKE!!!! McDuffy spits blood out, Then takes a silver Three-shot Derringer From his pocket. Juliano sees this, then Turns to Furlough. But Furlough has a handgun too. Both guns are placed Either side of Juliano's Head. FURLOUGH/MCDUFFY SWEET DREAMS. -BLAM BLAM- McDuffy hits him in the head, Furlough hits Him in the stomach. Juliano falls dead. DISSOLVE TO: The Camper-van storms down The road leading away from town. MCDUFFY (V.O) Shall we? FURLOUGH (V.O) Go on then. They pull into the bar parking-lot. BAR The barman leans against The bar-drinking a Scotch. A few punks are laughing, One of them jabs a syringe Into his arm, then giggles like A Madman. McDuffy and Furlough enter And head to the bar. MCDUFFY Hi, friend, Budweiser Please. FURLOUGH Same here. BARMAN (Not looking up) Righto (suddenly he looks up) Ah-ha. It's you Two prats. FURLOUGH Okay, still reading Mills and Bone then? BARMAN It's Boon! IT'S BOON! YOU TWAT! One of the Punks comes Up to the Barman. PUNK#1 They ain't Causin' you trouble, Are they, George? BARMAN Yeh, I think they are- You couldn't give 'em a deckin' in, could ya? PUNK#1 Sure could. (Speaks louder) Whadda 'bout it, Guys? All the punks nod, They never say no to A fight. PUNK#1 Is it these two You want us to Get? BARMAN Sure is. PUNK#2 You just wait there, Georgie. FURLOUGH Yeh, (Mocking him) "Georgie". Punk#2 darts forward, One fist in front of His face, the other out, Ready. Furlough assumes the Same position. The Punk dives Forward trying to get the first Punch in. Furlough grabs his wrist, almost Crushes it, then swings him into the Wall, where he bounces off straight Into Furlough's iron fist. Punk#1 shrugs, and turns To McDuffy, they both Assume the same stance. PUNK#1 Say ya prayers. POW! POW! POW! POW! McDuffy's fists move like lighting, Punk#1 is knocked off His feet by those Magical dynamite punches. McDuffy swings to the next Punk and swings A bone-snapping blow His way. Furlough shakes his muscles And throws an attacking Punk over his head, sending The man through the window. BARMAN KILL HIM! KILL THE BASTARD! Punk#4 grabs a crowbar. PUNK#4 You picked on the wrong Guys! He swings the Crowbar, but Furlough Ducks, and grabs the man's forearm, Swinging him into the wall. But he gets up. And tries to punch Furlough. Furlough sighs, then lifts him Up, hanging him over a clothes Hook, he then strikes three quick Blows-all to the Jaw. Knocking the Punk out cold. The final punk jumps At Furlough, Furlough Twists round and hits The Punk-both of them go Flying through the window. OUTSIDE They land on the gravel, Then break into a terrible brawl. BAR BARMAN Free drinks all round for The rest of the month if You knock that ****** out. WINO Oh yeh. McDuffy grabs a chair, Shimmeys it in his hands For a minute, then CRACK! Hits Wino in the chin with The chair. Nearly breaking It. MCDUFFY Anyone else wanna Try? Everyone else backs away. BARMAN I'm sorry it had To go to this. He grabs a Sawn-off Shotgun from underneath The bar. BARMAN (Cont'd) Hast la Vista... POW! McDuffy lays him Out with a thunderous punch. MCDUFFY (As he exits) ...Baby OUTSIDE Furlough has finished with The Punk. He and McDuffy Slap a high "5". MCDUFFY Oh, I need a rest. FURLOUGH Yeh. When they reach the Camper-van-McDuffy sees a leaflet on the windscreen. FURLOUGH Is that a parking Ticket? (He picks it up) Oh! MCDUFFY What's it say? FURLOUGH (Reading) "Just because the boss is dead-don't mean the war on you ain't over". MCDUFFY It's Jibberish. FURLOUGH Sounds like a threat to me- Whadda we do now? MCDUFFY Well I suppose we'd better Go and see Penn-he might Arrange us a fight. I'll give him a call. McDuffy and Furlough get into The Camper-van, and McDuffy Takes out a Cell-phone. He quickly dials a number. MCDUFFY (Into phone) Hi. (We hear a squeaking noise coming from the phone) Yes...yes...Sorry...we were almost Killed today...you know? It was On the news? Already...anyway have you Got a fight for us? Uh-huh...never Heard of him...sounds weak. What? Two of them...That's cool...what at the Same time? Sheesh! Yep...meet you There Tomorrow at 10? Of course I mean ten in the morning...yeh...bye (He hangs up) FURLOUGH Was Chris as stupid as Usual? MCDUFFY (Joking) How'd you guess? FURLOUGH Has he got a fight Made up? MCDUFFY Yep...it's scheduled for Tuesday, I got a fight and you got a Fight. I'm against some Asshole called David Ramsbottom And you're against a big guy Called Daniel Grimmer. FURLOUGH Right-cool. ROAD We see from behind the Camper-van As it disappears into the distance. A man Stands in the middle of the road. He wears a black suit, shades and Has a bald head. In one hand Is a Machine-gun. HOTEL-ROOM Furlough lies on his bed-and Looks rather reflective. McDuffy Reads a book. FURLOUGH What d'you think of It? MCDUFFY I'm only on the Second bloody chapter. It's just all boring crap. So far the most interesting thing That's happened is the cat coming Into the room-and even that sucks. FURLOUGH Look-"Virgins never marry" Is a good book. MCDUFFY Yeh-okay, I believe you Now do I have to read it? FURLOUGH Yes! He turns and looks at The window-rain beats Down on it, and drops Of water slowly roll down it. EN SUITE BATHROOM This is a part of their Room, inside it is pretty Simple- a mirror, shower, Sink and a toilet. Some cheapy Soap sits on top of the cold Tap. Suddenly we notice that the window is Open-a black-gloved hand quietly Closes it. CLOSE ON: The mirror. Suddenly two Hands appear in front Of it, they hold a machete. We see the reflection of Someone with a hood Over their head. CRRRRAAAACCCKKK! The two hands bring the Machete down on the mirror and It smashes into a million Tiny pieces. HOTEL ROOM Our heroes hear the noise. MCDUFFY What the hell was That? FURLOUGH It came from the Bathroom. McDuffy grabs a baseball bat. EN SUITE Our heroes enter-but no-one's There. The mirror is smashed And on top of it is a note Saying "You will die-mirrors never lie". FURLOUGH It's a poem. MCDUFFY Some assholes smashed our Mirror. It was probably The same guy who put that thing on The car. FURLOUGH It's not a car-it's A Camper-van. MCDUFFY Whatever. It think one of The Gangmembers escaped and Is after us. FURLOUGH I sincerely doubt it. VOICE (O.S) Room service? They wheel round and see Skeeter, a young Hotel-Clerk. MCDUFFY Damn it! You scared the Life outa us. SKEETER I usually have that Sorta thing on people- Jeez! What'd you do to That there mirror? FURLOUGH Someone came in and Smashed it-they Left this note. (He hands it to Skeeter) SKEETER Ah-ha. (Pulls out a Gun) Here's ya room-service. FURLOUGH What's this for? SKEETER You two're ruffians, ain't Ya. I know ya kind. Stand Over there 'else I'll fire. An' I've gone near done It before. MCDUFFY **** off, man. We didn't do it. SKEETER (Puts the gun away) If I find out that you Have. I'll sure do come And kill y'all. He exits. STAIRS Skeeter walks through the hall And down the stairs. He mutters to Himself. SKEETER ******' Condomes, smashing up stuff-like they own the damn place. CREAAAK. SKEETER (Cont'd) Wassat? Hello? Suddenly a figure, dressed In black, with a hood covering Their head appears, this person Holds a machete. SKEETER Who're you? FCUSSH! FCHSUSS! Skeeter is cut up By the blade. And his body drops into The shadows. SKEETER AAAAGGGHHH! ROOM MCDUFFY (Trying to read) What now? FURLOUGH Sounded like a scream. Suddenly The Machete-killer somersaults Into the room. The killer is no taller than McDuffy. MCDUFFY (Standing up) Who're you? FWOOOSH! The blade sinks into His arm and he screams. But Furlough grabs him and they run. With The Killer chasing them. PARKING-LOT Furlough and McDuffy burst out only to be confronted By the Bald guy. FURLOUGH You get in the car-I'll hold him off. McDuffy nods and painfully Gets into the Camper-van. He gets It in reverse. Then he hears a CLANG The Killer drops out of nowhere onto the bonnet Of the car. MCDUFFY SHIT! McDuffy reverses the car into a wall. And the Killer is wedged in the windscreen. And McDuffy Comes face to face with it. Suddenly the hood falls Down to reveal---Jane. MCDUFFY What're you doing here? JANE You killed "Orange" damn you! DIE DIE DIE! She tries to slash him, but he grabs her arm. MCDUFFY I don't normally kill women- But I'll make an exception in your case. He drives straight into the wall-and Her legs which are dangling through the other side Of the windscreen SMASH straight into the wall. Furlough faces off with Bald-guy. FURLOUGH Who're you? BALD-GUY No-one. He walks off. Furlough scratches his head. MCDUFFY (O.S) C'mon. FURLOUGH Coming. THE END
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