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"WAR ON A TRAIN!"
BY
The Goose
Final Copy.
--------------------------------------
MAIN CAST
Harry Carter. Kid Detective. 14.
Kym McCullough. Sexy ex-art thief. 14.
Mace Packer. 6'10, 300 ilbs, you don't wanna mess.
Clive Mendez. Old friend of Harry's. Keep an eye on him!
Sylvester Stallone. Actor.
Joey Forbes. Harry's partner.
The credits SMASH up onto the screen, after they
finish the title. "War on a train" Bounces
onto the screen. Then it is underlined by
black pen.
CUT TO:
HARRY' HOUSE
Harry Carter, 14, athletic, gelled hair, just how we remembered
him. Comes through, with nothing on but a pair of jeans.
Kym Carter, 14, sensible, extremely agile sits on the sofa.
She has recently got an "Adult Licence" like Harry's and is now
editor of Women's Chat Magazine "Woman's tool". (What tool?).
HARRY
Stephanie, where've you put my lucky Smiley-face
boxers.
STEPHANIE
I don't know, why can't you do your own
ironing?
HARRY
Because, you need a job.
STEPHANIE
Look who's talking. You've taken two
whole weeks off.
HARRY
Yeh, well that's to accompany Kym on
a trip.
He coughs.
KYM
Oh Harry, shut up. I've got a headache.
HARRY
Soree, do I need a permit for coughing
or something?
Joey comes in.
JOEY
I'd sell ya one!
STEPHANIE
Well you've got a permit for being bone-idle.
They hug.
JOEY
Put it like this, at least we've got
jobs.
STEPHANIE
Why is everyone bullying me about that? I
sometimes write articles for Kym's magazine.
Don't I?
The door opens and Mr.Patel enters. Harry groans.
HARRY
What's wrong, now?
MR.PATEL
Please Mr.Harry-sir, I need help!
HARRY
What's wrong now? Have you misplaced
your socks or something?
MR.PATEL
Oh no! No! That was last week.
HARRY
Well, what's wrong this week?
MR.PATEL
Well, You come and I show you.
HARRY
Yes, but be quick. I need to be
back soon and get on with my
packing.
MR.PATEL
Are you going on holiday,
or something?
HARRY
No I'm gonna shag a Rhino.
'Course I'm going on holiday.
MR.PATEL
Please, don't utter obscenities
in my presence it upset me!
PATEL'S APARTMENT
Him and Harry enter, they look around.
HARRY
So what's the problem, I refuse to do
plumbing, so don't even dream of it.
MR.PATEL
Oh no! No! No! My sixth wife, she send
me picture of my children, I got it
framed, can you please Bang it up for
me.
HARRY
What, smash it?
MR.PATEL
No I mean Bang it up.
HARRY
I refuse to shag your framed photo.
MR.PATEL
No, I err mean...how you say...
Hang it up?
HARRY
Oh yeh, sure. Just gimme' a hammer
and some nails.
MR.PATEL
I have none.
HARRY
What?
MR.PATEL
I not like sharp objects in my house.
HARRY
Oh great.
(Fed up)
Wait a minute and I'll go round and
get some.
SO...
Harry enters with a hammer and some nails.
Mr.Patel hands him a photo of ten pretty
Arabian girls.
HARRY
Whoa! Someone got busy!
MR.PATEL
Who got busy?
HARRY
Ten of the buggers!
MR.PATEL
What Flies or Spiders. Eew, I hate
spiders, they spin webs you know?
HARRY
Yes, I do know.
MR.PATEL
You Bang that up, and I go make cup
of tea.
HARRY
Coffee please.
MR.PATEL
I not have coffee, it is a drug.
HARRY
I'll have a tea, then. Three sugars.
MR.PATEL
I not have sugar, it is unhealthy.
HARRY
Oh forget it, I'll just have water.
Or is there something wrong with the
water?
MR.PATEL
Oh no, sir.
Mr.Patel busies himself in the kitchen, while
Harry Hammers a nail into the wall, then he
hangs the Photo over it.
HARRY
There we go.
MR.PATEL
Very good, Mr.Harry.
He hands him a cup of green water.
HARRY
Err, I asked for water.
MR.PATEL
It is water, Mr.Harry, fresh from
the sewers.
HARRY
(Shocked)
Well...I...err
(thinks)
Oh yeh! I just remember I've
been told not to...err...drink
any water for the next 24
hours. As I'm...err
(thinks)
Having my...err testacies out
tomorrow.
MR.PATEL
Oh good luck, Mr.Harry, sir. I
became Eunuch when I was one month
old.
HARRY
Err, thanks for sharing that...how
err...nice for you.
Harry exits.
FADE TO:
HARRY DETECTIVE II
WAR ON A TRAIN
STARRING
THE GOOSE
WILL SMITH
EMMA WATSON
TOM HANKS
CUBA GOODING JNR.
AND
NICHOLAS CAGE AND KURT RUSSEL
AS COOGAN AND WALLACE
CUT TO:
FLAT
Harry has finished cramming his stuff into
a huge suitcase. Joey enters.
JOEY
Damn it, Harry. You're only going on
holiday for a couple of weeks, d'you
really need that much stuff?
HARRY
Of course I do. What a stupid question.
JOEY
Jeez...
Joey opens the Suitcase, lying on top of
it is Harry's Magnum .44 in it's shoulder
holster. Joey picks it up and tosses it
onto his bed.
HARRY
Hey...what's that for?
JOEY
Why d'you need your piece? It's
holiday, Harry. You don't need
your gun!
HARRY
Joey, I'm gonna be stuck on a train full of
Chat-show hosts, Gossipy women and big-egoed
"Action-movie actors" who probably don't even
know how to eject the clip from a gun for three
days, I'm gonna be going through hell.
JOEY
You gotta point there, Harry. So maybe you
should stick to the gun.
HARRY
Maybe I should. Is Kym feeling better?
JOEY
Yeh.
HARRY
Ah well, I'd better hit the sack. G'night.
JOEY
(Exiting)
G'night, Harry.
Harry pushes his gun off his bed, and gets into
bed, forgetting to turn the light off. He
gets himself under the covers and soon sleep
comes.
CUT TO:
5:45 A.M
The alarm sounds, and Harry jumps out, looking
around, he CRACKS his neck, and flexes his
arms, then he goes into the shower.
FADE TO:
Harry comes out, dressed in a dark green shirt and
jeans. Stephanie comes through.
STEPHANIE
This is a first, Harry wearing a shirt!
Harry lets out one of his loveable smiles, and
twists round, on the back is a bikini clad women,
and "PORNSTAR" is written under it in italics.
Stephanie smirks.
STEPHANIE
Very funny.
HARRY
Where's Kym?
STEPHANIE
She was up a couple of hours ago.
KITCHEN
Harry enters, and makes himself a cup of coffee.
HARRY
Bit quiet aren't we?
KYM
I was just preparing myself.
HARRY
For what? Chatting up Sylvester Stallone?
KYM
Will he be there?
HARRY
It said he would, on the sheet of paper I
was given.
KYM
Oh, wasn't he the one in Rambo?
HARRY
Yeh. What time is it when we're meanna
depart?
KYM
Seven. But we have to be there at
six thirty.
HARRY
Right, it's six twelve now.
KYM
Shit, the cab should be here in a minute.
HARRY
Right I'll get out cases.
CUT TO:
OUTSIDE THE FLATS
A huge limo pulls up.
HARRY
Whoa! Baby! I thought you said "cab"!
The driver, BENJY, a big Moroccan complete with
a fez gets out, he opens the door for Kym, and
opens the boot, With a joint effort, from Harry,
Benjy and Joey, the suitcases are finally LOADED
into the back.
HARRY
See ya, Joey and you, Steph.
BOTH
G'luck, Harry.
Harry opens the door and jumps into the back
of the Limousine. Benjy touches the peak
of his cap, to Joey and Stephanie, then
gets into his huge vehcile.
BACK OF LIMO
It's huge! There's a mini-bar, T.V, stereo,
VCR, a selection of DVDS/Videos (including
Harry Detective one!). Playstation 2,
Stuff that a Limo should have.
HARRY
Whoa! This is what I call travelling in
style.
BENJY
Yeh. It's great, in it?
HARRY
Quite.
He pours himself a Rum and coke. And Kym has
a Smirnoff Ice.
HARRY
Huh, sissy's juice.
KYM
Very funny.
BENJY
Gemme' a Scotch, will yer?
HARRY
You're driving', mate.
BENJY
Huh, temme' somethin' I don't know.
HARRY
Red.
BENJY
What?
HARRY
My boxers are red-that's something you
don't know!
BENJY
Ha! Ha! You're a hoot. No I did know,
I've got X-ray glasses on.
HARRY
That's not funny
BENJY
Really? Well I was thinking
of maybe doing my own comedy
show. I mean, I know it's sounds
silly. But honestly, d'you wanna
hear one a' my best?
HARRY
G'on then.
BENJY
What d'you call I guy with a
spade on his head?
KYM
His name?
BENJY
No, Doug...
He waits for the laugh-there isn't one. But
this doesn't deter him.
BENJY
...His only Doug-less when the spade is
taken off!
No laugh again. Benjy laughs, a little self-
consciouslly.
HARRY
Err...you're not funny, maybe you need
Joking lessons.
BENJY
What you mean like singing lessons?
KYM
Yeh, it's the same thing.
BENJY
Young people, these days. Tut! You're
not funny.
HARRY
And neither are you!
BENJY
Wanna listen to the radio?
HARRY
I'd rather watch the T.V.
BENJY
Aw'right 'en.
Harry turns the T.V on, but the SCREEN EXPLODES,
and wires come flying out, almost ZAPPING Harry,
he LEAPS out of the way, and SMASHES into the wall.
But the wires FZZZAPPP a hole in the chair.
HARRY
Blinkin' hell!
BENJY
Oh, sorry 'bout the T.V, I meant
to get it fixed.
HARRY
Err, right. I think you'd better just
turn the radio on after all.
BENJY
Right.
He turns it on, and "I'M A WANNABE GANGSTER-WHEATUS".
Harry likes this kind of music.
HARRY
I didn't think you woulda really liked
this kinda music.
BENJY
I don't, it's complete and Utter bullshit.
He Ejects the CD and lobs it out the window, but it swings
round and smashes through Kym's window, and almost
Decapitates her and Harry. Both of them duck, and it goes
out the other window. The Radio blows up.
HARRY
This Limo's a liability!
BENJY
I know, great isn't it?
KYM/HARRY
NOOOOOOOOOOO!
BENJY
Oh...right. Damn that was a
good radio.
KYM
Are we nearly there.
HARRY
Yeh, I need a piss.
BENJY
Well, just use the toilet.
HARRY
No way! The toilet itself'll probably
blow up in a billion pieces, or something
stupid like that.
BENJY
Ah, no. I just mean shove ya dick out the window,
and go.
HARRY
Mm, I think I'll just shove a cork in
it.
KYM
Urgh! Harry! That's sick not funny!
HARRY
What? I'm not jokin'!
BENJY
Is my limousine that bad?
KYM
YES!
BENJY
Well here we are. Good luck.
HARRY
Mmm...I think I'll need it.
CUT TO:
OUTSIDE TRAIN STATION
CLOSE ON:
Harry's face, he's never seen anything like it.
The train has about 500 carriages, and it's
gold-plated, a huge crowd has gathered round
Sylvester Stallone as he climbs aboard.
But only a short one is round The President.
Harry is still Gob smacked by the Train. Kym
moves off to try and get an interview with
Sylvester Stallone as he gets on.
VOICE
Pretty amazing isn't it?
Harry turns round, the voice belongs to GARRY
"GIBB" GIBBS. He's F.B.I, about six two.
Has a Beretta in a Shoulder-holster.
HARRY
Yeh, bet it goes real fast, right?
GIBB
Nah. In the regions of speed it's pretty
shit. But still, you'll enjoy the ride.
Say ain't you that kid, Carter? Read about
'cha in the news. First kid with tha'
purple heart, put it there man...
Him and Harry shake hands.
HARRY
And you are?
GIBB
Garry Gibbs, call me Glib. I'm F.B.I,
security for the trip.
HARRY
Oh, right.
Glib exits.
HARRY
(Quietly)
Didn't like him much. I'll keep my
eye on him.
Suddenly another stretch Limo pulls out and Steven
Spielberg gets out.
HARRY
Blinkin' hell. I'm stuck on a train with him
(Shouting)
Yo, Spielberg, Jurassic Park was crap!
Steven Spielberg speaks to one of his bodyguards,
the Thug who was in the phone-booth (from the last
movie). The Thug walks over and CRACKS Harry
in the chest, Harry goes flying into the ticket
office.
Harry gets out of the Ticket-Office. Another Limo
pulls up. And two Bodyguards carry a glass jar
out of it, in the glass jar is Abraham Lincoln's
head.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Hello people of American, it is me!
Abraham Lincoln!
He waits for applause, Steven Spielberg pulls out
a Shotgun and blows him away.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Ah no! Ah've been assassinated again! Help
me!
But everyone just pretends not to notice.
HARRY
Damn this is gonna be one hell of a ride.
GIBB
Tell me about it.
Harry turns round and sees Glib standing behind him.
Another Limousine pulls up and MACE PACKER, gets out.
He is a giant of 6'10, he's about 50 and with a ponytail.
He's the editor of S.E.X, men's magazine. Glib escorts
him into Carriage 54, then gets in himself.
Harry is one of the only people left outside, so he
gets in Carriage 55, two other guys JOHN and CHANG
get in. Just as Harry is about to hop in, a voice
calls him.
VOICE
Harry! Yo, Harry!
Harry turns round and sees CLIVE MENDEZ, his old
friend from the President's Mansion. Clive now
has a small beard.
HARRY
What're you here for?
CLIVE
I'm co-editor of S.E.X magazine.
HARRY
Oh right. I used to have a Subscription
to that.
CLIVE
Mm, it's a pretty crap magazine, but
I get a good salary, so I'm not complaining?
HARRY
So how are you?
CLIVE
Mmmm, I'm hangin' in there.
HARRY
Which carriage are you?
CLIVE
Fifty-five.
HARRY
I'm fifty-six, see ya later.
CLIVE
Yeh.
CARRIAGE FIFTY-FIVE
Harry gets in and surveys his carriage. Sylvester
Stallone sits in the front seat. And a few seats
away from him sits The President, looking unwanted
and unloved. Then there's a spare seat next to a
Smiling French Photographer.
Harry reluctantly sits next to him. Immediately
his photo is taken. Harry jumps.
HARRY
Heeeey!
PHOTOGRAPHER
Sorry, I juzt' love taking how you say,
photos.
HARRY
(Blinks)
I can see. Who're you then?
PHOTOGRAPHER
Pierre, Lance Pierre.
HARRY
You mean Pierre Lance?
LANCE
No, Lance Pierre.
HARRY
Oh right...Okay.
Suddenly the train JOLTS, Sylvester Stallone spills his
coffee. THE CAPTAIN'S VOICE CRACKLES OVER THE
LOUDSPEAKER.
CAPTAIN
This is your captain speaking. My name is
Alex Hutchinson, and I will be driving you
today, and tomorrow, and the day after...
You get the hang of it. Please stay
in the nearest three carriages, and well...
that's all I can say. Captain out.
HARRY
(Half to himself)
Now, what to do?
LANCE
Touch le seat.
HARRY
Come again?
LANCE
Touch...how you say?...the seat.
Harry does, a computer-screen pops out.
HARRY
Hell! This train is Loaded!
It is a touch screen.
HARRY
(Reading)
Now, what would you like to do...
Play Games, Watch a movie, Play cards
with another passenger, surf the internet,
dial a pizza or burger...Mmm, Burgers!
He touches that button. Almost instantly a
Burger King Train WHIZZES by next to them,
and a Double Bacon Cheeseburger SHOOTS out
of his Computer screen, Harry catches it.
HARRY
Crikey!
He tucks in.
LANCE
Amazing isn't it?
HARRY
Yeh, and nice burger too. Most of them these
days taste like crud.
LANCE
Mmm, too true, sir. Too true.
HARRY
D'you like travelling on a train?
LANCE
Err, it's how you say?...okay. But I
prefer planes...much faster, don't you
agree mon ami?
HARRY
Yeh.
STALLONE
Huh, this train's slow. I've known faster
Buses, than this thing!
LANCE
Hey! It's Arnold Scwarzenneger!
(Takes a photo)
I loved all your movies! Especially,
"Enter the Dragon", when you were
that secret agent after that jewel
thief!
STALLONE
I'm Sylvester Stallone. Enter the
Dragon was a Martial arts film with
Bruce Lee in. It's nothing to do
with jewel-thieves!
LANCE
Oh right, you were in Terminator and True
lies weren't you?
HARRY
No, he was in Judge Dredd and Demolition
man.
STALLONE
Yeh, dickhead!
CAPTAIN HUTCHINSON
(LOUDSPEAKER)
There appears to be a blockage
in front of the line, the train
is now stopping. But don't worry
people me and the crew will soon
move it.
CUT TO:
TRAIN-TRACK
A grand Piano, a Wide screen T.V and a life-sized elephant
carcass block the tracks. HUTCHINSON, a small square-jawed
guy in his mid thirties comes with three or four of his
crew.
HUTCHINSON
Okay, how the hell are we
meanna move that?
CREWMAN#1
Damn, some jackass musta put these on here
for a joke.
HUTCHINSON
YEH WELL IT'S NOT FRICKIN' FUNNY YOU LAME-ASS
MOTHERFRICKERS!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMF!
HUGE EXPLOSION, THE CREW AND HUTCHINSON GO FLYING.
SUDDENLY AT LEAST FIVE ARMED MEN JUMP DOWN, THEY
HAVE H & K AUTOMATIC RIFLES OR MP5'S.
The guys with Auto rifles are TERRORISTS, they
all carry Suitcases, one of them shouts into
a Walkie-talkie. He is B.J.
B.J
Pack, come in pack!
MACE PACKER
Yes, roger J410, speak.
B.J
Plan complete, we are now boarding the train.
CARRIAGE FIFTY-FOUR
STALLONE
(Cowering on his chair)
An explosion!
LANCE
Oh no! Whadda we do?
HARRY
What was that?
THE PRESIDENT
This is scary!
B.J IMPRESONATING HUTCHINSON
(V.O)
Hello everyone! Hello! Cap'n...
(pause) (whispering in B.G)
Hutchinson speaking. Everything
is okay, the explosion was just
us clearing the way.
EVERYONE
Phew.
HARRY
Oh, my legs feel like jelly, I'm
jus' gonna stretch 'em for a minute.
Be back.
LANCE
Okay. Yah.
HARRY
Oh and if something suspicious
happens, don't say I'm gone,
right?
LANCE
Oui.
(To himself)
Suspicious? Mmmm? Weirdo.
Harry goes down the Carriage, quietly and quickly.
No-one but Lance notices, Harry opens the Carriage-exit
door. He finds a small room, empty apart from a few
bunks and a desk.
Harry looks above his head and sees a small metal-bar,
he can't resist it, and with both hands he grabs
it and pulls himself up.
CUT TO:
DRIVING-CARRIAGE
A Terrorist, TERRY steps into the driver's carriage.
The two drivers, COOGAN and WALLACE, both big rednecks
turn around, startled, they both chew on wads of
tobacco.
COOGAN
Na'ce gun, there-misser.
TERRY
Shuaddup and drive!
WALLACE
Wassis' all about, boy?
TERRY
We are taking over the Train. Don't try
any monkey-business or I'll blow both
your heads off, I know how to drive
a train...roughly. And you're the
only crew-members alive, we've only
spared you because I can't be bothered
to drive...unless I have to.
CARRIAGE#1
Four terrorists, MICKEY, RED, MOCO and KING burst
in, the two F.B.I agents are taken by surprise.
And barely stand a chance.
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
RED
It's too easy, no-one on this train
stands a chance.
Three more Terrorists enter, LEROUKE, YACKMAN and
PRICE. The unarmed people in the carriage all put
up their hands.
ROOF OF TRAIN
John and Chang stand on it, guns are dropped
from a Chopper, piloted by: BAZZA, a huge
guy in his early 30's.
ARCADE
Harry has just WANDERED into an Arcade, when he hears
the firing, he instantly goes for his gun, but it's
not there.
HARRY
Damn it's at home! Balls!
STILLS OF:
Carriages being taken over, one by one.
CARRIAGE 55
This is the centre of all operations. MACE PACKER, the
leader of the terrorists stands with his right-hand
man, LEROUKE. Some valuable hostages are being loaded
into the carriage. Among them is: Stallone, The President,
Kym and others.
MACE
All too easy. Lerouke, get the Whitehouse
and give them our demands.
LEROUKE
Right away, sir.
KYM
(Thinking)
Where's Harry? Hmmm?
Clive Carter stands in the corner of the room, holding
an MP5. HE IS ONE OF THE TERRORISTS! THE BACKSTABBING
LITTLE BASTARD!
CARRIAGE 56
Harry goes through an empty carriage, which serves
as somewhat of a Cloak-room. He gets to the door
leading into fifty-five, and peeks into the window.
HARRY'S P.O.V
He looks into the carriage, Lance and some other
frightened passengers have been rounded up into
this carriage, two Terrorists. FABIEN and KEV
patrol the carriage.
HARRY
(To himself)
H & K's, shit these guys are ready.
He crouches away from the door, and underneath a
big cabinet, while he thinks.
HARRY
Right. So what to do, what to do? Damn
it Harry, think think. I'm trying
stop interfering. Right, yes, good
idea!
Harry crawls out of the cabinet, and takes
another look at Fabien and Kev, he nods.
Then looks up at the roof, there's a
small skylight up ahead.
Harry then takes out some string from his
pocket, and coils it up. Then, he puts
one foot on the cabinet, and climbs up
into the skylight.
CARRIAGE 55
FABIEN
Huh, this is just like, so easy.
Man.
KEV
Temme' about it, money for nuthin'!
TAP-TAP-TAP. Both Terrorists tense.
FABIEN
It came from '56.
KEV
You go, I'll err stay here.
FABIEN
Right.
CARRIAGE 56
Fabien slowly steps into 56, and has a quick
look around.
FABIEN
Nope, nuthin'.
But what he doesn't notice, is that when he walks
out, a piece of string comes down and hooks up his
Desert Eagle from it's holster!
55
KEV
Dunno what it was.
He slams the door shut.
56
Harry silently HOPS down from the skylight, and
looks at the Desert Eagle, it has a silencer
on it, then he turns to the two Terrorists.
Their guns do not have silencers-uht-oh.
Because now if he wants to fire at them, and they
get off a shot, then everyone will be alerted.
And if he came through the door from 56 to 55,
which they're all ready suspicious of,
they'd probably react quicker. It's a tight
position! Harry has another peek into the
Carriage, there's a skylight on the roof.
Hmm, if he crawled out of the other skylight
and across the roof and shot through the other, maybe
just maybe he might have a chance. So Harry manages
after a struggle to prise the Skylight open, then
he CLAMBERS on top of the train.
ROOF OF TRAIN
Harry climbs onto the roof, but it is REALLY
WINDY AND HE IS BLOWN CLEAR OF THE ROOF
AND GOES FLYING OFF THE TRAIN, BUT HE JUST
MANAGES TO GRAB HOLD OF A SIGNPOST AND LEAPS
ONTO THE LAST CARRIAGE OF THE TRAIN.
BUT HE ONLY JUST GETS A GRIP ON IT, AND IS
LEFT HANGING ON BY ONE HAND, SOMEHOW HE
KEEPS HIS FEET UP FROM THE GROUND, THEN
HE FLIPS ONTO THE LAST CARRIAGE, AND YANKS
OPEN THE BACK DOOR.
He is met by JULES, a tall and gangly terrorist.
JULES
'Ey you!
Harry KARATE-KICKS him in the chest, but Jules
grabs hold of him and they both CRASH into
the wall. Harry kicks and struggles and breaks
free of the terrorist's grip.
Jules manages to grab hold of a glass vase,
and swings it at Harry, but Harry PISTOL-WHIPS
him in the face, and he drops to his knees
but HEADBUTTS Harry.
Then he tries to punch Harry, but the kid
parries his blow, then KICKS him into a wall,
Jules grabs hold of Harry's throat and
BASHES him into the wall.
Harry falls down, and Jules draws his MP5,
he aims, but suddenly the door flies open
behind him, and the wind makes him lose his
balance AND HE FALLS FROM THE TRAIN. AND
IS ELECTRICUTED ON THE TRACKS!
Harry quickly shuts the door, and grabs his
Desert Eagle, but the other door opens, and
he only just rolls under a table in time.
B.J and Mace Packer enter.
B.J
Where's Jules, boss?
MACE
Bastard's run off!
B.J
Sheet, man!
They exit, Harry rolls back out.
HARRY
So Packer's the leader? Mmm.
I'd bedder' get help.
He reaches for his mobile.
HARRY
Balls, it's in my case!
Harry opens the back-door slightly and sees the land-
scape whizzing by. Then he pops back in again, and calmly
sneaks into Carriage 59.
CARRIAGE 59
A dead F.B.I security Agent is slumped over a table.
A dead Terrorist also lies at his feet, there is
no trace of either of their weapons. Harry thinks
for a minute.
Then continues on.
HARRY'S P.O.V
He peeks through the door to Carriage 58, two F.B.I
agents lie dead, but on top of one of them is a
Radio.
CARRIAGE 58
Harry Toggles through the radio frequencies and finds
the Train's frequency.
MACE
(Broadcasting)
To...The Whitehouse, It is me, your
boss.
MP
We are meeting your demands, and promise
that we will have a private jet to Tokyo, for
you and all your crew.
MACE
And the money? The five Billion?
MP
Well...we...
MACE
I want the damn money, now. And for
every hour you're late with it I'll
kill one hostage.
MP
Listen, mister...
MACE
No you listen! I have the President
of the United States on this damn
train, and right now one of my
friends has a gun to his head.
MP
Yeh...yeh...whatever...
MACE
Listen, I'll put him on.
PRESIDENT
p...Please, H-Hank, it's me Rog,
h-h-honestly these dudes...are...
aren't joking...everyone is hostage.
HANK
Shit, listen Mr.Packer...
MACE
What?
HANK
We will have your money in about four hours.
MACE
Good, good. There will only be four hostages
dead, then. Good. And have my flight ready
too, goodnight!
He hangs up. Harry quickly logs into Hank's
frequency.
WHITEHOUSE
HANK LOMBARDEZ, secretary of defence, sits down for
a meeting on the crisis with five other MPS. Suddenly
the radio crackles into life. Hank is about 50, bald
and middle-aged, he answers.
HANK
Listen, Mr.Packer, we are...
HARRY
I'm not Packer.
HANK
Then who are you, speak damn it!
HARRY
My name is Harry Carter.
HANK
Harry Carter?...Nope never hearda you before.
Piss off.
HARRY
I'm the kid cop who was awarded the purple
heart, remember?
HANK
Oh Mr.Carter sir.
HARRY
I gotta be quick, I'm on the same
frequency as these assholes. I'm
the only one who isn't a hostage.
HANK
Ah-ha.
HARRY
There are about thirty Terrorists, but
I've killed one. There's been quite a
few gunshots fired, and all F.B.I are dead!
HANK
Oh no!
HARRY
Right, well Harry out.
My frequency is 047629, I'm
gonna try and reclaim the train,
radio me if you need me.
HANK
We will Mr.Carter, sir! But just
wait t...
Harry cuts off.
TRAIN
Harry CLIPS the radio to his belt. Suddenly
footsteps jerk him to his senses, immediately
he climbs up and into a small rack where passengers
are meant to put their backpacks.
Three Terrorists enter, JOHN, CHANG and Glib!
GIBB
Doesn't seem like there was anyone there.
Harry stops breathing, his heart thumps against
his ribcage, and in his mind an unseen voice
keeps crying out "QUIET" "QUIET". The terrorists
turn to go, when Harry's radio goes off.
HANK
Harry! Harry! Hope this ain't a bad time...
HARRY
Nope, it's not bad, it's bloody ridiculous!
Immediately then turn to the source of the noise,
and SPIT FLAMES at the rack, Harry rolls to the end
of the rack and falls off the edge, as he falls:
SLOW MOTION
Harry opens fire with the Desert Eagle, Chang takes
a bullet in the shoulder, and John takes one in the
leg, but Glib CHARGES Harry, and knocks him to
the floor. The Desert Eagle goes flying.
S/M OFF
Harry falls, almost into a sharp spike, he grabs
hold of the first thing he can, Gibbs's hair. He
pulls it off, it was a wig! Hiding Gibbs's bald Skull. Chang
laughs.
Glib HAMMERS a blow into Harry, and he back falls
into another carriage.
ROOF OF TRAIN
He SLOWLY and QUIETLY climbs onto the Roof. The
Terrorists follow in quick procession after him.
GIBB
He went up there.
Harry ROLLS behind a funnel, as the train passes
through a dark tunnel. Glib climbs up, aiming
his gun. But Harry crawls further down the roof,
till he falls to the bit, which separates the
back carriage from the rest of the train. A shovel
hangs on the side of the next carriage, Harry
grabs it and after a huge surge of muscle, manages
to prise the back carriage away from the rest of
the Train.
CLOSE ON:
JOHN, CHANG AND GIBB'S FACES AS THEY REACH
THE ROOF AND FIND THE BACK CARRIAGE SAILING
AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE TRAIN, HARRY WAVES
TO THEM.
GIBB
That little shit!
BLAM!
He fires a shot, but hopelessly misses.
JOHN
Hut-oh.
CHANG
We're gonna die!
THE BACK CARRIAGE HURTLES DOWN THE TRACK AT AN AMAZING
SPEED, AND THEN IT FLIPS ONTO IT'S BACK AND EXPLODES
THE TERRORISTS AND THE LAST CARRIAGE ARE BLOWN TO
KINGDOM COME.
Harry stands from the Other carriage-roofs looking
at them, then he lies on his back, tired, bloody
and exhausted. He's still got Twenty-six more
to go as yet!
Harry's T-shirt is completely destroyed, so
Harry rips it off, to reveal a slightly-ripped
white-vest. Then he pulls himself up and
crawls further down the train.
HARRY
Twenty-six more to go as yet!
CUT TO:
STILLS OF:
Three S.W.A.T vans on the road, a Police Chopper,
F.B.I Sedans, Squad-cars, and one with Joey,
COMMISSIONER COLT EASTON AND WAYNE in.
CARRIAGE 55
Kym turns to Mace Packer.
KYM
Mace, you don't expect to get away
with this d'you?
MACE
Of course I do, My dear.
KYM
Huh, here's hoping!
MACE
Oh piss off, you spiteful cow.
KYM
Spiteful! Huh you're the one with
the gun! Call me spiteful! Huh!
I like that! Me!
MACE
Oh Please, cut your infernal winging and
lemme' be at peace for a second.
ROOF
Harry TRANSMITS a message.
HANK
Ah-ha! Harry!
HARRY
Twenty-seven.
HANK
Huh?
HARRY
I just Erased three more.
HANK
Ah! Excellent, well done.
HARRY
You seem cheerful.
HANK
We have right to be, we've sent
F.B.I and the S.W.A.T team out
to negotiate.
HARRY
Negotiate! Ha! You can't negotiate
with these people.
HANK
Look, Carter. I know what I'm
flaming well doin', so just
keep ya nose outa this, this is
for the U.S.A now, you've done enough!
He cuts off. Harry LOBS the Transmitter into
the tracks, and it is FRAZZLED.
HARRY
ASSHOLE!
Harry looks down through a skylight, this
looks into .55, he can see Kym, Mace and
Clive, the terrorist.
HARRY
Clive, no way!
BOTTLE A' GEAR
Harry puts his legs round a funnel, and leans down
the side of the train, he can get a better view of
the action now. Mace Packer checks his watch.
MACE
It's been a hour.
BLAM!
He shoots an F.B.I agent, Harry winces. Then
he CLIMBS back onto the Train, he looks down
the train, from here on the rest of it is all
one thing.
No chance of cutting it off. Suddenly a S.W.A.T
chopper swings into sight, a S.W.A.T office,
O'BRIEN leans out he holds a SPAZ-12 shotgun.
Harry waves to him.
The Chopper dangerously swings towards him, and
Harry grabs hold off the railings and Shimmeys
along, till O'Brien grabs him and pulls him
up.
O'BRIEN
Hey, kiddo. Wassup?
HARRY
I'm Harry Carter.
O'BRIEN
Oh right, you're the only one who
isn't a hostage. You're lucky
kid, the acting-President, Hank Lezo
plans for us to negotiate with them.
The pilot, HANSEN hands O'Brien a megaphone.
O'BREIN
Now, Mr.Terrorists, we are from the S.W.A.T
team, I am Kurt O'Brien, a trained Negotiator
I have come to negotiate terms with you.
MACE
YOU CAN LAND, MR. O'BRIEN. WE WILL STOP
THE TRAIN, SO YOU CAN, ERR...NEGOTIATE.
O'BRIEN
Bring 'er down nice n' easy, Hansen.
HANSEN
I am, I am.
HARRY
What're you crazy jackasses try'na do?
You stupid shits! He'll kill you.
O'BRIEN
Listen kiddo, you jus' stay here and
we'll deal with him.
The Train HALTS, and the Chopper slowly SLOTS onto
the roof of Carriage .55. Hansen and O'Brien get
out, Harry grabs onto O'Brien's arms.
HARRY
Don't go in there, you mutt!
O'BRIEN
GERROF!
POW!
He whacks Harry in the jaw, and the kid detective
FALLS, unconscious onto the passenger's seat of
the chopper.
HANSEN
Err, Kurt. He seemed pretty worried
for us, I don't th...
O'BRIEN
Shuaddup! I don't want to know.
(MEGAPHONE)
MR.PACKER WE ARE NOW ENTERING THE
CARRIAGE FROM THE SKY-ROOF.
B.J opens the Sky-roof and they climb in.
Harry comes too, but is dazed. O'Brien
had a good right hook. I say had because:
BLAM! BLAM!
Two gunshots from inside the carriage.
MACE
(V.O)
No-one negotiates with me.
CARRIAGE 55
Mace stands over the two bodies with a smoking
AK-47, he Nicks Hansen's TRANSMITTER and screams
into it.
MACE
LISTEN UP! IF MY DEMANDS ARE NOT MET!
I WILL KILL AND KILL AGAIN, I WILL
NOT NEGOTIATE.
HANK
I...
BLAM!
BOOOOM!
Mace puts a ROUND into the transmitter, and it BLOWS UP.
MACE
(SHOUTING)
START THE TRAIN!
He sits down, hot and sweaty. He's pretty riled, the
hostages get back-scared.
CHOPPER
Harry holds his head in his hands.
HARRY
Bollocks. That man will not stop
The final four terrorists that we have not
met yet, enter. They are STEVE, JOHNNY,
DR.BIZ and J.D.
STEVE
Sir, I regret to inform you that...
JOHNNY
...The following brave men are now...
DR.BIZ
...Dead, their names are the following...
J.D
...Jules Carmichael, Garry Glib, Yon Chang,
Liam Wintin and John Steed.
MACE
Damn it. Someone's free.
CLOSE ON:
Kym's face, that's where Harry is. Who else
could have been and done this?
STEVE
Wintin was killed by F.B.I, but the others
died in suspicious...
JOHNNY
...Circumstances. Someone is free on this
train...
DR.BIZ
...Dunno who, but Jules was found dead on
the tracks and...
J.D
...The others were in a blown-out carriage,
we found them when we went out in the chopper.
B.J
Bullshit! I can't believe this.
MACE
Grrrr...THIS MAKES ME MAD! B.J GET A TEAM
TOGETHER AND HUNT FOR THIS LUNATIC AND
DON'T COME BACK TO ME TILL HE'S DEAAAAD!
B.J
Y...yes s...sir.
ROOF
Harry hears the conversation and gulps.
Suddenly the train starts moving, Harry
leaps out of the cockpit, but the Train
encounters a tunnel, and the CHOPPER IS
SMASHED AGAINST IT.
AND PUSHED BACK, THE RAILING HITS HARRY
IN THE GUT, AND HE ONLY JUST MANAGES
TO SWING HIMSELF ON TOP, WHEREAS THE
CHOPPER HITS THE SIDE OF THE DIRT-ROAD AND:
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The explosion lights the skies for miles around!
Harry manages to pull himself up and crawls
onto the roof, where he lies, unmoving for a
second. The railing slightly cut Harry but he'll
live.
HARRY
(Thinking)
Great, so I'm stuck here on a speeding train.
With fifty or so hostages and at least twenty
armed terrorists...I NEED A GUN!
CARRIAGE 59.
B.J proceeds with his band of Terrorists:
Moco, Yachman and Red.
B.J
Where is he?
RED
(Points the roof)
Up there.
MOCO
I'm goin' up, who's comin'
wimme?
YACHMAN
Ah'll go.
ROOF
Moco's head pops up through the
sklight, and sees the wreck of the
chopper.
MOCO
Whoa!
Yachman pops up too.
YACHMAN
Can't see him.
Suddenly someone's head pops up, for
a second Harry and Moco catch each
other's glance.
MOCO
THERE HE IS!
He raises his Automatic weapon to fire,
but Harry DUCKS back down.
YACHMAN
He's nathin' budda keeeyyd'!
B.J
Have ya seen him? Have ya?
Harry BOBS back up. He is SQUASHED between
a tiny gap in a skylight for the empty
carriage 57. He looks round for a weapon,
all that's there is a First aid box.
He POPS it open, and looks through the
apparatus.
MOCO
Prepare to die jackass!
HARRY
No, you first butt hole!
He grabs a STETHESCOPE and LOBS it,
it goes SPINNING through the air, and
the cold metal bit SMACKS Moco in the
head. He falls out of the skylight and
rolls off the train.
Yachman brings his weapon up to fire, but
Harry CHUCKS a pair of TWEAZERS into his
Arm, Yachman screams, and also falls off
the train. Harry crawls up to the skylight.
But Red POPS up and stares at him, Harry
SMASHES the Case over Red's head, then
Harry BARGES him off the train, makes
a grab for his MP5, but misses.
HARRY
Blast it!
B.J fires at him from the carriage, Harry
dodges and and throws a Bandage at him.
B.J
Oh that's threatening!
Harry jumps down and SMACKS him in the
bollocks with the leg of a chair, B.J's
eyes cross. Harry then SLAMS him into
the wall.
B.J
AAAGGGHHHH! OWW!
B.J fires at him, Harry jumps into a toilet block.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
B.J
The Big, bad Mean-ass's comin'a'
get'cha.
He sneaks into the toilet block, and looks for
him.
B.J
Where are ya, punk?
Suddenly Harry POPS out of a cubicle and grabs
a Urinal off the wall, a FIERCE JET OF WATER
knocks B.J off his feet, B.J aims at Harry, but
Harry DONKS the Urinal over his head.
Then Harry goes over to B.J's unconscious form
and nicks his H & K and Revolver. Then he
takes the Transmitter and CLICKS it on.
MACE
(V.O)
B.J? B.J?
HARRY
Eight dead, now. Happy?
MACE
Who are you? Damn it!
HARRY
Let go of the hostages or else...
MACE
Kiss my Ass.
HARRY
I'll Pucker up.
He tosses the Transmitter into a toilet,
and it FRAZZLES blowing the toilet off
the wall. Another jet of water SHOOTS
out and just misses Harry.
HARRY
Heck, lethal things, toilets.
CARRIAGE 56.
Kym sits cross-legged, fed-up and pissed
off. But she's happy that Harry just got
a few more of the bastards.
MACE
Lerouke, gimme my Radio.
Lerouke hands it to him.
MACE
MP, get on here.
HANK
Ah-ha Mr.Packer, have you calmed
down now?
MACE
An hours nearly past. There's a
station up ahead in Rockville,
you'd better gimme the money
there or...else!
He cuts off. Then Transmits to someone
else.
MACE
Bazza? Bring in the reinforcements.
BAZZA
R'oi'ght, we're jus' up ahead.
MINUTES LATER
Five more Terrorists Parachute onto the roof.
They are: BAZZA, ABDULLAH, GRAHAM, WILL and
DEACON.
BAZZA
Ready boys?
DEACON
Y'all bet, Whoa! Ah love this job!
GRAHAM
Yeh, ya always were stupid weren't ya?!?
Money for bullets, huh.
WILL
(Loads his gun)
Kick ass!
CARRIAGE 56.
Kev and Fabien are busy guarding Lance and co.
SPIELBERG
Excuse me, but I need a piss.
FABIEN
Do it in your pants.
Suddenly the door SLAMS open, Harry leaps onto
Kev, and tackles him to the floor. Fabien turns
round and Spielberg JUMPS him, both of them
also CRASH to the floor.
The Thug also joins in, and really lays Fabien.
Kev has hold of Harry. But The Thug SMASHES
through the window with an iron fist, Kev is
sucked out. Then with the help of Lance Fabien
is knocked out.
HARRY
Quick let's get outa here, before we're
sucked out like him.
Lance, Spielberg and the Thug exit to .57.
But Stallone cowers on his seat.
HARRY
C'mon man, don't panic.
STALLONE
(Crying)
But I'm scared.
HARRY
GET OUTA HERE MAN! BEFORE I GET
MAD!
Stallone is out like a flash, but Fabien
draws a knife and CHARGES at Harry, Harry
turns towards him, but Fabien is sucked
out too.
CARRIAGE 57
Suddenly there's a CLANG on the roof, Harry
looks up through the skylight, he sees Price
aiming his MP5 at him, but Harry is too
quick.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Harry fires his H & K through the skylight,
Price is dead instantly.
CARRIAGE 55
LEROUKE
Wawwasat'?
MACE
Him again! DAMN HIM!
KYM
Go Harry.
MACE
What was that?
KYM
GO HARRY, I SAID YOU DEAF
FOOL!
PRESIDENT
Listen I will not stand for all this.
Please let me go! I have not done
anything! Please! Please!
MACE
Ha, you're joking. Clive.
Clive shuffles forwards, and THROWS President
to the floor. Then Knocks him out, with
a good left hook. Kym shakes her head.
KYM
Say, aren't you Harry's friend, Clive.
CLIVE
Friend?
KYM
Yes, friend.
CLIVE
Huh, I...I...I...hated the little wank.
Kym laughs.
KYM
No you didn't.
CLIVE
I...I...
MACE
That's enough, Clive. Lemme deal
with this.
(Clears his throat)
SHUT UP YOU IGNORANT LITTLE COW.
He shouts so hard, that the room shakes.
Kym just flips him the bird. Mace lifts
his AK-47 to his head, but Lerouke stops
him.
MACE
Wassat' for?
LEROUKE
This guy who's lose, his name's Harry
right?
MACE
Yeh...so?
LEROUKE
Well maybe she's his daughter or something.
MACE
Ah, ha. Very good. Oi, you are you
this "Harry" person's daughter?
KYM
No I'm his girlfriend, dickhead?
MACE
Don't be sarcastic.
CLIVE
No really, Harry's a fourteen year old
kid.
MACE
What? A fourteen year kid's been wiping
my men off like flies?
CLIVE
This Harry kid's a loony.
LEROUKE
Harry...Harry, wasn't he the kid
detective?
MICKEY
Yeh, yeh. I remember him!
Suddenly B.J crawls into the room. He is
rather the worse for wear, but not dead.
B.J
Ugh...I...Damn...Kid...urinal...UGGGGHHH...
He drops to the floor unconscious.
MACE
B.J! Mickey, King help him up.
Suddenly Will and Bazza enter.
MACE
Ah-ha, find him?
BAZZA
Graham and Abdullah are still
searching.
CARRIAGE 1.
COOGAN
Should we stop up here?
WALLACE
Yeh there's a stop here.
TERRY
I'll ask.
(Radio)
Mr.Packer, sir. Are we to stop
up at Rockville?
MACE
(Radio)
What? Yeh.
COOGAN
Right.
WALLACE
It's just up here.
They look ahead, Squad-cars and S.W.A.T vans
litter the stop, they have created a barricade.
TERRY
(Radio)
There's a barricade up ahead, with
cops and S.W.A.T.
COOGAN
(Quietly to Wallace)
We might be saved up ahead.
Run when I say so.
Wallace nods.
TERRY
What was that?
COOGAN
Err...nothing.
57
HARRY
Right, I want you lot to stay right here.
I'm gonna have a look outside.
He PULLS himself up onto the roof.
ROOF
Harry looks around, five parachutes lie on the
First carriage, but Harry sees the Barricade
and the cops. He rushes up. Waving his gun.
They see him as a threat and:
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Open fire, smash through the windscreen. Wallace
is hit in the arm, and the Train SMASHES to a
halt. Harry takes a bullet and DROPS through
the skylight and into carriage 55.
He lands in a heap. The Cops begin shooting.
MACE
IT'S A TRAP!
(Radio)
KEEP ON GOING!
TERRY
Roger, that.
The Train shoots straight forwards. Colt, Williams
and Joey are among the officers.
COLT
Shit, I'm not losing Harry. He's too
good a' officer.
CARRIAGE .55
Everyone STRUGGLES up, Mace looks for Harry.
HARRY
Where was he! Damn it!
BARRICADE
Stallone, Spielberg, Lance and The Thug managed
to jump off and ae being questioned.
CARRIAGE .58
Harry stumbles through the carriage, bleeding.
Suddenly he finds that he has dropped his
H & K! Suddenly footsteps sound down the
corridor. He ducks behind some lockers.
Abdullah bursts through, gun ready.
ABDULLAH
Snivellin' little fool's ran off.
WILL
Too much of a coward to stand and fight.
At this Harry gives the Locker a good KICK and
it CRASHES onto Abdullah. But Will FIRES at
him, Harry runs, ROLLS over a table. Then
crouches, while drawing his Revolver.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! KABLAM!
Quick exchange of fire, Will drops. Harry
breathes a sigh of relief, but King and
Mickey suddenly SMASH through the window
over top of him. Harry WHEELS round, but:
Mickey comes at him with a knife, but
Harry dodges, and jumps back. King LOBS
A GRENADE! HARRY THROWS HIMSELF INTO CARRIAGE
59 AND:
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
It blows a small hole in the floor, King and
Mickey come at him, guns raised. Harry
THROWS HIMSELF THROUGH THE HOLE IN THE FLOOR.
MICKEY
DANG! MISSED HIM!
CARRIAGE 55.
All the remaining hostages from other carriages,
(about 10, all the others jumped off) have been
rounded up.
B.J
What we gonna do?
MACE
Move this lot to Carriage 2. I'm gonna
blow the rest of the train. Lerouke,
radio the Troops give 'em the news.
I'm gonna nail this Harry guy.
UNDER TRAIN
Harry's still crawling along, suddenly
he comes up with the problem, how is
he gonna get back up again?
FADE TO:
CARRIAGE 2
The hostages have been dumped in a pile on
the floor. Lerouke stands over them with
an AK-47.
LEROUKE
Don't move a muscle. Don't even
twitch, or else I'll paste the
walls with yer asses. Ha. Ha
Ha-ha-ha.
KYM
AAWW! I'VE BROKEN A NAIL!
LEROUKE
I break all ten of your nails if
you don't shut up.
BRAINY HOSTAGE
No! No! Not true! An average human
has twenty nails.
LEROUKE
Shut up! Shut up!
HOSTAGE#1
He has got a point. But Ms.Carter
here has actually only got nine nails
if she broke one of them.
KYM
What? Well...I didn't break it off
but it's pretty damaged.
BRAINY HOSTAGE
So? You're a liar now?
HOSTAGES
LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!
MACE
Lerouke, shut those crazy jackasses up
I'm try'na talk to Misser' Lombardez
here?
LEROUKE
SHUT UP!
HOSTAGES
LIAR! LIAR! LI...
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
He fires a few ROUNDS into the floor, the
Hostages all shut up. And cower.
LEROUKE
Shut up when I tell ya
to!
Lerouke shot a bolt in the floor, and
a small flap POPS open and scraps against
the ground, but Lerouke is shouting to
loud to hear.
UNDER TRAIN
Harry sees the flap POP open, and sees
his chance, he SHOOTS forwards, and
grabs a hold of the floor inside, and
pulls himself in.
CARRIAGE 2
As Lerouke SHOUTS and BAWLS, Harry silently
pulls himself up, the hostages see him and
snigger. Harry gets to his feet and raises
his hand above Lerouke's head.
BRAINY HOSTAGE
That's it young Whippersnapper!
Get the boundah!
Lerouke WHIPS round, and grabs Harry's right hand,
he SMASHES it onto a desk, then CHUCKS him onto
the heap of struggling hostages, then with his
gun to Harry's head, he ties him up.
HARRY
Y...YOU...jackass!
Lerouke kicks him in the thigh. Harry spins
violently, but Lerouke grabs him and SLAMS
him against the wall. Kym struggles forward
and head butts Lerouke.
KYM
You take my boyfriend. Then you
take me, you creep!
BRAINY HOSTAGE
You go, good old girl!
PRESIDENT
Goodness grief! Ah maybe saved!
TRAIN STORAGE ROOM
Clive, Mickey, Bazza, B.J and Mace are
looting a huge storage room, full of
Dynamite and explosives. B.J suddenly
wonders something:
B.J
Say, boss. Why has the train got
all this high explosive sheet?
MACE
Well, when they're trekking' round
the Rockies, they godda be ready
just in case, catch m' drift?
B.J
Sure, man.
MICKEY
Y'know, I coulda sworn I heard shots.
CLIVE
Same here.
BAZZA
Ah, shuddup. Stop whining.
MICKEY
Piss off!
B.J
Hey, man don't tell ma' man,
Bazza to piss off!
MICKEY
Aw! Why the hell should I?
B.J
'Cozza this!
He shoves his Auto Rifle to Mickey's head, but
Mickey puts his to Bazza's head. Mace shakes
his head he can't believe this.
CLIVE
Oh no! We're not gonna do "Reservoir Dogs"
here are we?
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
They are interrupted by more gunfire.
BAZZA
Well that was definitely gunfire!
MACE
Bazza, Mickey check it out!
Bazza and Mickey rush out.
FADE TO:
CARRIAGE 2
Bazza and Mickey come in, and find Lerouke
standing over Kym's body with a smoking gun.
Harry struggles to his feet, but both
Terrorists grab him.
Harry struggles and HEADBUTTS Mickey in
the jaw, he turns to Bazza, but the
huge giant deals him a blow he won't forget!
HARRY
KYM! KYYYYMMMMM!
As he cries a gag is TYED round his mouth.
Harry begins to struggle but finally stops.
BAZZA
Why 'you shoot the girl?
LEROUKE
She put up a struggle, and I thought
an hour must've passed.
MICKEY
Whadda' we do with the body?
LEROUKE
Chuck it.
Mickey and Bazza pick up the body, then
POP open the Train-doors and TOSS her
body onto the green bank.
MICKEY
That's that.
They close the door.
HARRY
Mrrphhh!
BRAINY HOSTAGE
I say, you killed the old
gal! Tut! Tut! Tut!
BANK
Kym lands in the soft green grassy bank.
CARRIAGE 2
LEROUKE
What if she wasn't dead?
MACE
What if? What if? What if?
There're too many dang what
ifs in this world.
LEROUKE
Yeh, but what if, she gets help?
MACE
She won't.
But what they don't notice is that Harry has
his transmitter on, and Hank Lombardez heard
the following and knows where she is!
Mickey and B.J enter, followed by Will, Bazza
and Graham.
MICKEY
Charges are set, for four minutes.
B.J
Anyone you wanna blow sir?
MACE
No, I do not want to suck...
B.J
No, I mean blow up-y'know in the explosion?
MACE
Oh right. Well, we'll get this dork and this
cocky little shit...and the president.
PRESIDENT
What but y'all may need me. Ah'm...ah'm a
family man. Whadda' bout ma wife, kids and
mah cat! And...and mah poodle, Fritz!
MACE
Who gives a? Your family means nothing to
me. Nothing.
B.J, "Big" Bazza, Abdullah and Deacon grab
Harry, the President (Matt Fields) and the
Brainy hostage, Clive PINGS open the door
to Carriage, they LAUNCH the three into
it.
Just as the doors close on them, Harry looks
squarely and Clive, and says one word:
HARRY
Traitor!
Clive shakes his head, in sorrow. Then moves
to a dark corner of the room, and stands
motionless. Mace HURRIES over to the control
panel for the door and presses "SECURE".
FZZZZZZZZZZ! Two huge reinforced sheets of pure
Stainless Steel come over the door. Everyone
backs to the side of the room and the remaining
Seven hostages are also dragged.
CARRIAGE ONE
Mace enters.
TERRY
What's going on?
MACE
There's gonna be an explosion soon.
Just keep driving.
COOGAN
Shit man, this's...this's dang-near
awful.
WALLACE
I ain't heard this much gunplay since
we was in The Gulf.
MACE
Shut up and drive, scum bag.
CARRIAGE 3
BRAINY HOSTAGE
Oh Gumbo on a stick! What's gonna
happen to us?
PRESIDENT
Ah don't wanna die!
HARRY
Neither do I.
He looks around for a door, but there isn't
one on Carriage 3. Shit! The windows are
hard glass.
BRAINY HOSTAGE
Come on! Or else we're gonna be stew
in a minute or so.
TIC TOC TIC TOC.
HARRY
Wassat?
PRESIDENT
A clock.
HARRY
That's the timer for the bomb!
Where'd it come from?
BRAINY HOSTAGE
The room somewhere.
PRESIDENT
Oh what a n'a'ce clock!
Who ever'd wanna throw away
a clock l'a'ke that?
BRAINY HOSTAGE
Err. it's thirty seconds short.
Harry suddenly grabs a Broom from under
some chairs and SMASHES the Skylight.
HARRY
C'mon! President! You first!
He gives The President a "leg-up". Then
The Brainy Hostage gives him the leg up,
but before the Hostage can get up, he
falls!
HARRY HAS JUST A FEW SECONDS TO LEAN DOWN AND
GRAB THE BRAINY HOSTAGE: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
HUGE EXPLOSION! HARRY, BRAINY HOSTAGE AND THE
PRESIDENT HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THEY ARE, THEY
JUST GO FLYING. HARRY CLINGS ON TO A SMALL
GRATING ON CARRIAGE TWO!
ANOTHER BOMB GOES OFF! HE CLOSES HIS EYES, AS
HE FEELS HOT FIRE RACE AGAINST HIS BACK. HIS
HEART SKIPS A BEAT, BOOOOMF! ANOTHER EXPLOSION.
SOMEONE SHOUTING IN HIS LEFT EAR.
A CARRIAGE SMASHING ON THE RAILWAY LINES, EXPLOSION
MIXED WITH ELECTRICITY! BOOOOOMF! SPARKS FLY AND
COVER HARRY'S SMALL FRAME AS HE CLINGS ON. THE
BRAINY HOSTAGE CAN HOLD ON NO LONGER:
BOOOM! ANOTHER EXPLOSION. HE LETS GO AND FALLS,
SCREAMING ONTO THE BANK, THE PRESIDENT GRABS
ONTO HARRY'S LEG, BUT SLIPS OFF AND FALLS INTO
THE TRACKS!
BUT HARRY KICKS HIM IN THE RIBS, AND HE GOES
OFF COURSE AND HITS THE BANK WITH A SOFT
THUD. MEANWHILE HARRY PULLS HIMSELF ONTO
THE CARRIAGE AS:
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
ANOTHER CARRIAGE BLOWS, HE TURNS ROUND. THE
TRACKS AND THE BANK ARE LINE WITH BLOWN
OUT CARRIAGES. SUDDENLY EVERYTHING GOES
QUIET. IT'S OVER.
Harry lies on his back panting, watching the
fast-disappearing wreck of the carriages burn
and smoulder in the flames as they dance a
frenzied dance round them.
HARRY
Oh boy!
CARRIAGE 2
King, Bazza and Lerouke had fallen on the floor
in the explosion, They are helped up by Mickey,
Abdullah and B.J. Mace smiles.
MACE
Ha, at least we got that little shit Harry
out the way.
(Into Radio)
Hello, Mr.Lombardez?
HANK
Ah-ha, we...
MACE
Shut up, I just wanna say the President's
brains have been smeared all over the
ground! So up yours!
He SMASHES the Radio. B.J puts a few
ROUNDS into it.
CARRIAGE ONE
Terry, Coogan and Wallace recover and continue
their long hauling drive.
COOGAN
Err, Mr.Denton...
TERRY
Terry.
WALLACE
Terry, my uncle's called Terry.
COOGAN
...Terry, then. The Fuel's running low,
I ju...
TERRY
Don't worry. When we reach the Mexico/American
border. We're gonna destroy this hunk a'
junk. That's the plan at least.
COOGAN
Where will we go then?
TERRY
Heaven!
WALLACE
Oh...boy!
Suddenly Wallace swings out of his seat, and
draws a Pocket-knife on Terry, but Terry
kicks him in the face. Coogan presses the
LOCK door button.
BLAM!
WALLACE TAKES A BULLET, DROPS TO HIS KNEES. BUT
IN A LONG MOMENT OF PULSE-RACING ACTION. COOGAN
TACKLES TERRY, WHO COLLIDES WITH THE WALL. HIS
GUN GOES FLYING. WALLACE CHARGES BACK INTO THE
BATTLE.
TERRY GRABS WALLACE BY THE THROAT AND KNOCKS
HIM INTO THE WALL, WALLACE FALLS, DAZED.
TERRY GRABS COOGAN BY THE COLLAR AND BANGS
HIS HEAD ON THE ROOF. THE BIG REDNECK,
TOPPLES.
TERRY GOES FOR HIS GUN BUT WALLACE, WITH
A LAST GASP OF STRENGTH GRABS THE EMERGENCY
STOP LEVER AND YANKS IT!!!! TERRY GOES FLYING
FORWARDS AND SMASHES INTO THE WINDSCREEN.
HE DROPS OFF THE WINDSCREEN, AND ONTO THE
FLOOR. HIS NOSE IS BROKEN, BUT HE STRUGGLES
UP AND TAKES A BERETTA OUT.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
He fires at them, Coogan dives out of the
way, but Wallace gets another bullet through
the hand, he KEELS OVER. Terry turns to Coogan,
but Coogan grabs him round the neck.
Wallace crawls towards Terry's H & K. But
Terry awkwardly turns his gun on Wallace,
but Coogan shoots forward AND PUTS A
WELL-PLACED KARATE KICKED IN TERRY'S CHEST.
HE FALLS INTO THE WALL, WALLACE GRABS A
FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND SQUIRTS TERRY WITH
IT. BUT TERRY PISTOL-WHIPS HIM. COOGAN
OPENS A WIDE "EMERGENCY" BOX.
HE PULLS OUT A PUMP ACTION SHOTGUN, AND
TURNS TO TERRY AND:
KABLAM!
Terry is BLOWN BACK, and is definetly dead.
Wallace drops the Fire-extinguisher. Meanwhile
The Terrorists beat and shout at the LOCKED
door, but they can't get in.
COOGAN
Piss off, Terrorist-scum! You're not getting
us!
WALLACE
Yeh...ha-ha-ha...you..y...oh.
COOGAN
Are you okay?
WALLACE
J..just a bullet to the hand, and
a graze to the side. Might need
a bit of stitchin' up.
Coogan takes out a rough bandage and begins
strapping it round Wallace's hand.
WALLACE
Thanks mate.
COOGAN
Now, boy, let's make sure no-one
can get anywhere in this tub.
KABLAM! KABLAM! KABLAM!
He sprays bullets at the Dashboard.
WALLACE
Step back, I'll deal with this.
He grabs the Fire Extinguisher and LOBS it at
the Dashboard, FIZZ CRACKLE AND:
BOOOOOMF!
It blows up, a small fizzy explosion. Both of them
step back. Wallace takes out a small Emergency
radio. He Transmits.
WALLACE
This is Zero-four-nine speaking. Carriage one
of train is now clear. We will escape. Hostages
still on train. Control mechanism destroyed.
We're armed. Terrorists still on board. Only
two carriages left. We're about thirty-five
miles off of the Mexican Border. Help!
Immediately!
ROOF
Harry lies on the roof breathing heavily. He
heard the shots.
HARRY
Shit. Drivers are dead.
CARRIAGE 2
King and Mickey are kicking and firing at the
door, it keeps bulging. Mace stops them.
MACE
No use. The Bloody bastards are getting away
with it. Clive, Clive...Clive?
CLIVE
What?
Clive emerges from the shadows.
MACE
Now listen, Carter. Something's
goin' on? You've been looking
guilty since...Damn it! What
connection is it?
CLIVE
He...he's my older brother.
Long pause.
MACE
Get rid of this scum.
MICKEY
What? He's one of us, damn it.
We can kill him.
Mace turns on him.
MACE
He's got that guy's blood in him.
We can't have that.
King grabs his hands and forcefully
pulls him.
KING
He's one of us, we...
BLAM!
Mace BLOWS HIM AWAY, POINT BLANK. With a
Glock seven in his hands, the barrel is
smoking. King is dead, everyone shuts
up. Clive steps back. Mace turns the gun
on Mickey, B.J, Lerouke and the others.
MACE
Anyone else want some?
B.J
Jeez..err no.
Suddenly Big Bazza darts forward and grabs
Mace, he SLAMS the even bigger man against
the wall, but Mace BODILY picks him up and
SLAMS him down.
But Bazza comes back with a Quick COMBO,
Mace is momentarily STUNNED. He turns
back to the Others, but they daren't move
a muscle. Bazza turns back straight to:
MACE'S FIST
Bazza goes flying. Mace is now RILED, and
goes for his gun. But Bazza is up at 'em.
He TACKLES Mace, and they both CRASH to
the floor, all fists and kicks.
ROOF
Harry TWISTS around, awkwardly. His natural
Human Curiosity urges him to peek down and
see what's going on. So he slowly crawls
to the edge of Carriage-one, then lowers
himself down.
CARRIAGE ONE
Coogan and Wallace see Harry hit the ground.
Coogan WHIPS fully round, PUMPS HIS SHOTGUN.
WALLACE
He wasn't a terrorist.
Harry's head POPS up, he speaks through
a crack in the windscreen.
HARRY
Ah, phew. I thought the terrorist had
got you.
COOGAN
Who're you?
HARRY
Detective Harry Carter, and you are?
COOGAN
Jackson Coogan.
He nods to him.
WALLACE
Adrian Wallace. What d'y'all
plan t' do, Misser' Carter?
CARTER
I don't know. I need a gun.
Coogan hands him the Shotgun through
the glass. Harry refuses.
COOGAN
Don't worry.
Wallace holds up Terry's H & K and his
Beretta. Harry nods and takes the
Shotgun.
HARRY
How many rounds?
COOGAN
Six.
HARRY
Mmmm...got anymore?
Coogan rummages around in the Emergency box,
and takes out fourteen Shells, Harry takes
them. Loads one.
WALLACE
Err, what'choo gonna do?
HARRY
I'm gonna deal with 'em.
COOGAN
No point, we've called in reinforcements.
HARRY
Nah, this time it's personal. You two
get out.
Coogan and Wallace POP open the door, and
begin to run. They turn to Harry and wave.
WALLACE
Brave.
COOGAN
Mmmm...too.
Harry takes a pair of shades out of his
pocket, but they're broken.
HARRY
Bollocks.
CUT TO:
CARRAIGE TWO
Bazza and Mace continue fighting, Bazza
gains advantage. Everyone watches secretly
cheering. The Hostages Mumur. Suddenly
Lerouke grabs a Revolver and:
BLAM!
Shoots Bazza dead. Everyone else is quiet.
Mace pushes Bazza off. Clive is all tears.
CLIVE
WHY! WHY! WHY DID I HAVE TO DO THIS!
(Snivells)
Mace turns his gun onto Clive.
BLAM!
Clive drops dead.
MACE
Anyone else wanna taste?
Everyone is silent, till:
DEACON
N-no sir!
MICKEY
Whoa! What d'we do now!
MACE
Kill the hostages of course.
OUTSIDE
Harry is running round to Carriage 2.
When two Choppers come out of nowhere.
Then two Blue Police TANKS come out of
the rocky forest. Followed by a S.W.A.T
van.
CHOPPER PILOT
(MEGAPHONE)
We have you surrounded do not try
to escape! This is the U.S police
force.
Harry ignores the Chopper, the time
has gone for Negotiation.
HARRY
THEY'VE GOT HOSTAGES DAMN IT!
CHOPPER PILOT
And who're you?
HARRY
Detective Harry Carter.
CARRIAGE TWO
Suddenly the butt of Harry's SHOTGUN smashes
through the window of the train.
MACE
What now?
B.J
It's that crazy kid!
KABLAM! KABLAM!
The Shotgun BLAST knocks Abdullah and Deacon
out of the game. Lerouke takes cover behind
an overturned table as does B.J. Mace gets
behind a crate.
Mickey SMASHES open a door with his AK-47,
and leaps out. He is covered by S.W.A.T
from every side, they knock him down and
take his weapons.
Then S.W.A.T invade the Train, Lerouke fires
twice, and goes to run, but He is GUNNED
down by S.W.A.T. B.J jumps on Harry, but
he anticipates the move.
Harry HAMMERS him in the jaw, B.J falls
back, but draws a knife. Harry grabs
his knife-hand, and struggles with him.
B.J cuts Harry's wrist.
But Harry SLAMS him against the wall, and
they fall to the floor, fighting. When
Harry pulls himself up. B.J has been
knifed and is dead.
HARRY
Where's Packer?
S.W.A.T COMMANDER
Who?
HARRY
Uht-oh.
He grabs up his Shotgun and runs out. Meanwhile
the S.W.A.T officers pull up a wounded Clive.
S.W.A.T COMMANDER
Get him and the hostages down to the Medics.
FOREST
Mace is running, holding his Glock, he turns round
Phew, he's gotten away. Shame about B.J and Lerouke,
but they were just unimportant pawns, he's still
alive. So that's okay.
MACE
Where now ,ey? You big dumbo. Where're ya gonna sling
your filthy hook now? Yep, in a predicament now aren't
you stupid prick. What were you thinking? Course'
you'd be stopped, they always are. So what now? On your
own, you've killed about ten people now whatta ya do?
Mace puts the Handgun to his head, hand on the trigger.
HARRY
(V.O)
Put that thing down you ugly little swine.
MACE
You talkin' na' me?
HARRY
No King-Kong. Now drop that piece of crap.
MACE
KID...YOU'VE DONE MORE HARM TO ME THAN ANYONE HAS
EVER DONE IN MY LIFE...
HARRY
You are the weakest link goodbye...
His leg shoots out in a high axe kick, Mace falls
into the river behind, a strong current pulls him
away.
HARRY
...Or rather, Goodnight.
Suddenly a blaze of light and colour erupts around him.
Colt, Joey and the cavalry arrives.
HARRY
Late as usual, I see.
JOEY
Well, bedder' late 'n never.
HARRY
Where's Kym?
JOEY
An unidentified person was airlifted to hospital.
HARRY
Well to Hospital we go then.
EASTON
Wait a second, Harry I need some questions answered.
Harry pushes past him.
HARRY
Ask my ass!
FADE OUT
THE END
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