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Good Try, We Don't Like It Story by Topher Rhives and Bruce Snyder Screenplay By Topher Rhives FADE IN: INT. OBLIVION TIMELESS The screen is completely white. Jerry Wright, a 17 year old guy walks into the center. He is tired looking and dressed in a robe and pjs. He looks around, startled as though he is on a stage. JERRY Alloz. It's funny how life can be, right. How it can throw you in such a mess, you come out looking like shit no matter what. Love does it to the best of us. I guess that's the whole idea behind my whole sordid tale. Hey, I'm Jerry Wright. And let's face it, the majourity opinion on me is, well, how to say this nicely… hmm, well I don't think there is any other way to say it. A good percentage of people think, well I'm an asshole. (beat) Don't believe me? He snaps his fingers, a series of interview style clips of exes and what not play. JERRY (CONT'D) See what I mean… Anyhow, back to this little narrative, bear with me now, this does get better. CUT TO: INT. BATHROOM MORNING A guy is in the middle of a shower. He is Leon Rennes, 17 years old. He is singing a song out of key. JERRY (O.S.) Well I guess I should start with my best friend, Leon Rennes. He's the quirky kind of guy, we all know. (MORE) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. JERRY (O.S.) (CONT'D) The one who'll come to school in all pink, since now guys are not assumed to be a tap dancing little faggot if they do. A satirist, if you will. The doorbell rings. Leon turns off the shower, grabs a towel, and wraps it around him. LEON Coming… He opens the door to the entranceway walks up to the front door and opens it. He looks around. No one is there. He steps outside and closes the door behind him. JERRY (O.S.) But I should mention he's not always on the up and up, if you know what I mean… LEON Ding-dong-ditch, wow, that brings back memories… He tries to get back into his house. The door is locked. LEON (CONT'D) Oh don't do this now! He rattles the door, attempting to get inside. FOOT BALL PLAYER (O.S.) Hey! Leon! LEON What? Leon turns to see a bulky looking football player rushing towards him. JERRY (O.S.) And he's always getting on someone's nerves… FOOT BALL PLAYER This is for last week, fucker! Leon starts to run, his hand tightly grasping his towel. CUT TO: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. INT. LILLITH'S ROOM DAY JERRY (O.S.) Then there's my sister, Lillith. She's in the art scene, which would be the best way to describe it. She's always into one thing or another. Poems, painting, acting, that sort of thing. Only thing she isn't doing is making money and going to college. She says she's taking the year off, so I guess we'll see. CUT TO: INT. VIDEO STORE DAY A girl, May, 17 passionately kisses a guy, Bill Feins, 18. JERRY (O.S.) My girlfriend, May. I don't really know why we're going out. Things seem to be in a haze with her. She might be cheating on me, she might not. I've heard rumours, but the sources aren't tight, so I dunno. She slams against the glass and an employee looks up and sighs. VIDEO STORE EMPLOYEE Watch the glass, please. Bill looks at him and flips him the bird with a sort of half smirk. BILL Don't watch us, watch your store, perv. VIDEO STORE EMPLOYEE Sure, sure. Don't think about renting from here again, though. BILL You wish I'd rent from your shit shack. You don't even have the good stuff. VIDEO STORE EMPLOYEE You mean the porno? BILL Yeah, the tit flicks. VIDEO STORE EMPLOYEE You are a sad sad little man. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. BILL Oh don't bullshit me, you watch porn. We all do. VIDEO STORE CLERK True, but I prefer regular old two people doing it, porno. You look like a bestiality kind of guy… BILL Fuck you, man. That was only one time. May pulls away. MAY WHAT! She begins to walk away. BILL It's not how it seems. I didn't know what the word meant. It was my friends, they… It's too late. She has already left. BILL (CONT'D) Goddammit… We pan down from Bill. May walks past a girl. The girl is Audrey, 17 years old. She places select movies behind other movies. JERRY (O.S.) Oh and Audrey. Wow, what to say about her. If perfection had a name, it'd. Haha that sounded cheesy, I know. But I can't help it. Another customer looks at her. DEMETRI What the hell do you think you're doing? Audrey looks up. And Demetri points to the DVD she holds in her hand. DEMETRI (CONT'D) The flicker, what do you think you're doing with it? AUDREY Saving you five dollars. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. DEMETRI Come on now, I can rent what I want. Now hand me over the flicker. She glances down at the movie, HOUSE OF THE DEAD, and sighs. AUDREY Alright, but it's your loss. Demetri begins to walk away. AUDREY (CONT'D) There's a reason they call him "The UweBolla Virus, you know… CUT TO: FADE IN: INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY Inside, the store is pretty much empty except for a few wandering customers. JERRY (O.S.) Alright, now've we got that established. I think we shall begin my little sordid tale. And with that we open on another listless day at work. The store manager Humphrey Madison, a 24 year old guy who brings to mind "Woody Allen" interviews a man, Arthur Davis, in his early 20's and looking like he just woke up. HUMPHREY O.K Mr... DAVIS Davis. HUMPHREY Mr. Davis, what are your qualifications? DAVIS What? HUMPHREY Why should I hire you? DAVIS I didn't think we needed qualifications. Humphrey sighs. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. HUMPHREY Oh, you do. He points to a wall with the employee of the month pictures on it - he's on every month. HUMPHREY (CONT'D) You see that wall over there? (beat) That shows a determination, that you have something to strive for. Do you have an employee of the month photo? DAVIS No, but I don't even work here. HUMPHREY Then why should I hire you? (beat) Wait, I've got it. You can show me. He grabs a bag of jerky from the rack. He hands it to Davis. HUMPHREY (CONT'D) Here, sell me this bag of jerky. Davis takes the bag. DAVIS Hello... Humphrey stops him. HUMPHREY Wait, wait, I've got to get into character (beat) Ok start again. DAVIS Hello sir, would you care to buy some jerky? HUMPHREY Hold up just a sec. DAVIS What now? HUMPHREY Look how you're holding that jerky. He looks down. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. DAVIS What about it? HUMPHREY Isn't it obvious? The way you're holding it says to me that you don't want me to have this jerky. It says "no jerky for you." (beat) Now try again. Davis once again presents the jerky to him. DAVIS Uh… HUMPHREY Wait, lemme see those hands. Davis shows them. HUMPHREY (CONT'D) Filthy, just filthy. Go wash up. Davis starts to leave. HUMPHREY (CONT'D) Woah, woah, woah, were do you think you're going. DAVIS But you HUMPHREY Under qualified and ill spoken? Leave my store! The guy leaves as we pan down towards Jerry at the cash register. He rings up an old woman's purchase. JERRY You really need to ease up on your hiring process. HUMPHREY I hire only the finest. At that moment Hayden, Humphrey 17 year old younger brother and semi-clone in mannerisms pokes his head from an isle while holding a broom. He looks down into the pile of stuff collected by his broom. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8. HAYDEN Hey, we have grapes! Jerry sighs. He rings up the old woman's stuff. JERRY That'll be nineteen thirty, Ma'am. The old woman pulls up a large bulky bag. OLD WOMAN Hold on. Let me count it out. She starts to count one quarter at a time. CUT TO: EXT. STREET - DAY Jerry walks at a brisk pace, he bumps into Steve, wearing a milk shake costume, on the street. JERRY Watch it. He starts to walk off. STEVE I'm going to get you... JERRY Really... STEVE Probably not now, but sometime when you least expect, or you might expect, I dunno, either way I'll get you back. (beat) Have a coupon. He hands Jerry a coupon, Jerry takes it and walks off. JERRY Right, Steve. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S HOUSE NIGHT Jerry enters his house. Two dogs run up to him. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9. JERRY Dog, Mutt, I was suppose to walk you two today, wasn't I? (beat) Sorry about that. The dogs look at him. JERRY (CONT'D) I'll walk you guys tomorrow. He walks into his living room, hits the answering machine, and slumps on the couch. A message plays. MAY (V.O.) Hey Jerry, it's May. Just calling to remind you to call me. Bye. He takes a breath. A dog nudges against him. JERRY Piss off. CUT TO: INT. LILLITH'S ROOM - DAY LILLITH types on a computer. A knock is heard at her door. LILLITH Come in. JERRY enters. JERRY I need advice. LILLITH Can it wait? JERRY You're just surfing the net. LILLITH Well I like to know what people think of my scripts. JERRY They lack description and are entirely self-serving. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10. LILLITH I didn't ask for your opinion. JERRY Right, I'm sure the people at "Simply Scripts" will say otherwise. LILLITH "R.E Freak," "Andrew Roby," "Heretic", and "WesleytheProtaganist" seem to like the script. JERRY What about "The Goose"? LILLITH Ditto. "Michael Birch" says I alienate my characters to the point that they're unbelievable and I should downplay the character quirks. JERRY Has he written anything? LILLITH He wrote a script called "The Everland" which was posted for a while. Don took it down. Mike said he was developing a TV series or something along those lines. JERRY So, what are you doing right now. LILLITH Well before you walked in I was emailing Don about the script link. She right clicks the mouse. LILLITH (CONT'D) What is it you wanted to ask. JERRY Do you think I'm an asshole? Lillith ponders for a second. LILLITH Yes. Yes you are. JERRY I mean at relations. LILLITH Again yes. Jerry, everyone I've talked too says so. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11. JERRY And you've talked to? LILLITH Well you dated Dawn last year. JERRY She said she was gay. You dated her from what I recall. LILLITH She was bi actually, she left because you were a dead beat. JERRY Why didn't you tell me this? LILLITH It's irrelevant. Look, she said you didn't do anything, never took the time to do something for her. JERRY I took her out for Valentine's Day. LILLITH And you made her pay for her own movie ticket. Face it you suck at relationships. (beat) By the way how are things with May? JERRY Fine, I guess. CUT TO: INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY Jerry and May sit at a table. May browses a menu. MAY This place is really over priced. JERRY Well it's five bucks for some coffee and some bullshit. MAY What? JERRY You know bullshit - atmosphere. May nods. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12. MAY Right, come for the cheap imported Coffee and stay for the pseudo- Intellectual chatter. JERRY Pretty much. MAY Ah yes money well spent. JERRY Well you know the artsy types. MAY Watch it. JERRY What? MAY You're assuming. May looks at him and sighs. JERRY I'm just saying they substitute actual talent with half-baked messages. MAY Only the hacks do. JERRY Well the art industry seems full of them. CUT TO: INT. LEON'S HOUSE - BASEMENT Jerry and Leon sit on the couch playing video games. Leon pulls something out of his pocket. JERRY Do I really want to know what that is? LEON It's a poem, something I wrote in my spare time. JERRY You've got to be fucking kidding me. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13. LEON No, I'm not. Here. (beat) Love is a fall: As you sit idly by: watching your muse, in utter silence and timid flirtations. Of distant memories, shaded with idealism, she haunts you with the thoughts of what if. And you aghast and awash in a sea of self doubt, of indignant fuckery and other trite and troublesome musings that say you're attempts are ill fated and it is unwise to press on. And you stand back yearning to cry: "I love you!", "Yes, I fucking love you!", but you only manage to utter affable nothings in passing bys. AND YOU'RE FALLING: Falling in love Falling for love until …. you hit the ground. JERRY Emo. LEON Oh come on it's not that bad. JERRY It lacks original construct besides; who is it even about? LEON Nobody really. JERRY Right. LEON OK, it's about this girl I know, who blindly lust after a guy who doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything. He's a slacker with charm. Jerry laughs. JERRY Poor bastard; I'd hate to be in his shoes. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 14. LEON I'm sure you do. CUT TO: EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY Leon, Jerry, and Audrey walk Jerry's dogs. AUDREY I don't think I can sleep in my room anymore. LEON Why? AUDREY You know those ghost shows? JERRY Yeah. LEON I guess. AUDREY Well they were doing some EVP'S and JERRY EVP'S? LEON Electronic voice phenomenon. AUDREY Right. Anyhow, I figure what the hey I'll try it and see if anything happens. LEON And you caught something? AUDREY Sounded like someone whispering. JERRY Scary. AUDREY I'll say. Jerry laughs. JERRY No, it's scary you buy into that kind of thing. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 15. AUDREY Try it yourself. JERRY Yes, then I'll have John Edwards give a cold reading while Sylvia Brown explains who I was in a past life. AUDREY I never said anything about believing in psychics. JERRY Don't you? AUDREY Not really. LEON Besides hearing voices, what else is new. AUDREY Nothing really. Hayden tried to ask me out. (beat) God, that guy's annoying. JERRY Tell me about it. I have to work with the twat. LEON Who are we talking about? AUDREY Hayden Madison. LEON Never met the guy. JERRY You should consider yourself lucky. LEON What's so bad about him? AUDREY He's dumb, annoying, egotistical... JERRY And those are his redeeming qualities. He and his brother AUDREY There are more of them? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16. JERRY Don't worry, his brother's out of college. AUDREY Who's his brother? JERRY Humphrey, he manages the store. AUDREY Oh right I've seen him. (beat) He's the guy whose been employee of the month for about a year? JERRY Two years actually, funny thing is he's the one who has final say in that. AUDREY Ooh, a scandal. They laugh. JERRY Hey, anyone have the time? Audrey looks at her watch. AUDREY Yeah, it's 5:03. JERRY Shit, I was supposed to be at work by five. He hands Audrey Mutts leash. JERRY (CONT'D) Here take Mutt. All you have to do is just walk them around the block then drop them at my house. He leans over and pets the two dogs. JERRY (CONT'D) Mutt, Dog, you two behave. He rushes off. Audrey and Leon walk the dogs. Audrey holds Mutt - a medium size dog, while Leon holds Dog a relatively small dog. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 17. LEON Could we possibly switch dogs? AUDREY Why? Do small dogs emasculate you? (beat) Cause you know how ridiculous you'd sound if you said that, right? LEON It's not that. AUDREY Then what is it? LEON To be honest, I have an acute fear of them. AUDREY Of dogs? LEON No just small ones. Audrey laughs and hands him Mutt's leash. He hands her Dog's. AUDREY And to think I've known you eight years and never knew you were afraid of dogs. No wait, just small dogs. CUT TO: INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY Hayden and Jerry stand at one end of the isle preparing to race with mops. HAYDEN Oh it's go time, little man. They start to race. Hayden leads in front of Jerry. JERRY You're so slow. Hayden stops. HAYDEN No, I'm not I mean… He starts again. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 18. Jerry slides to the finish line. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM DAY Jerry and May sit on his bed making out. May pulls away. MAY Hey, could you hold on a sec. JERRY Sure MAY Sorry about this, just need a drink. JERRY Don't worry about it. Just hurry, alright? MAY Alright. She smiles and kisses him. Then gets up to leave. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY DAY May walks down the hallway. CUT TO: INT. LILLITH'S ROOM - DAY Lillith is sitting her chair with a pad of paper on her lap. There are several crumbled papers around her. She seems to be in deep thought. Suddenly she is hit with a brilliant idea. She writes something down. LILLITH (reading) I believe that love… is not limited to conventional ideas. She smiles and leans back in the chair. She begins to relax, as if she is done now that she has her line. MAY (O.S.) That was really good. Lillith looks up to see May standing in the doorway. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 19. Lillith smiles. LILLITH Thanks. May smiles and then leaves. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM DAY Jerry waits. Apparently bored out of his mind. May returns. JERRY You forgot your drink MAY What drink? (beat) Oh, that I forgot. JERRY Ah I see. She sits back down on his bed. Her thoughts are obviously elsewhere. Jerry leans into kiss her. But she draws back. MAY I'm not really in the mood, sorry about this. Jerry sighs. May gets up to leave. MAY (CONT'D) I'm sorry Jerry, I just don't feel like doing this now… She throws her hoodie on and leaves. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY -- DAY Jerry grabs books out of his locker, Leon walks up behind him. LEON So how are things with May. JERRY They're pretty well. LEON Any chance you'll break up? Jerry glares at him. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20. JERRY Now why the hell'd you say that. LEON It's not going to last forever, so how long? JERRY I don't see how this concerns you. LEON I just like to know shit like this. JERRY Well get your own girlfriend. LEON I've tried. So if you weren't dating May who'd you go out with? JERRY That's hard to say LEON What about Audrey? JERRY You've got to be kidding me. LEON And you haven't been the least curious? JERRY It's crossed my mind, but she knows me, so I doubt she'd say yes. Why don't you ask her? LEON I don't think she's that attractive. JERRY You don't think any girl is attractive. LEON Fuck you. There is at least one girl I think is hot. JERRY Really who? LEON I'd rather not say. CUT TO: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 21. INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY May and Leon walk down the hall. LEON It's as simple as that. MAY I still don't follow. LEON It doesn't really matter. (beat) Your still going out with Jerry? May sighs. MAY Yeah. LEON Damn. MAY You know, you're a nice guy. LEON Right, a good friend. MAY Exactly. I mean I can really talk to you. LEON That's wonderful. So if you and Jerry ever break up would you be interested in… She continues to talk. MAY And I'm glad we can just be friends. LEON But... She leaves. Leon sighs and turns around. He runs into Audrey. AUDREY Well you've hit a new low. LEON What, she's dating Jerry. I give it a week tops. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 22. AUDREY And trying to get her to break up with him is any better? LEON I'm doing them a favour. AUDREY No, your doing yourself one. LEON Hey nobody said that personal gain was bad. AUDREY It is if forget it. Leon starts to leave. LEON Well I have to head to class, see ya. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL LIBRARY DAY Lillith sits at a desk she is engaged in her books. May sits down next to her. MAY Hey… Lillith looks up at her. LILLITH Hey… She continues to read. MAY So what are you reading? Lillith looks up. LILLITH Oh, this. Fight Club. MAY I love that movie… Oh my god Brad Pitt was so just wow. Lillith laughs. LILLITH I do hope you're kidding… ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 23. MAY Oh yeah, I am. I'm more an Ed Norton girl, myself. And you? Brad or Ed? LILLITH Hmm May looks at her. MAY Well come on if you had to choose one of them. LILLITH Well… hmmm, I'm not sure how… MAY You have to like someone from that flick. (beat) Wait, you're not a Bobert girl, are you? LILLITH Oh no, nothing like that. Lillith continues to read. MAY Then what is it ? LILLITH To be honest I'm more of a Singer girl, myself. May looks at her a bit surprised. MAY Singer? As in Marla Singer? Lillith nods. LILLITH Yeah, as in Marla Singer. MAY Are you…? LILLITH A lesbian? (beat) Yeah. That doesn't bother you, does it? May shakes her head. MAY Oh not at all. Jerry just never mentions anything about you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 24. Lillith puts down her book. LILLITH Yeah, we barely talk. May nods. MAY I see. (beat) So when did you know. LILLITH Know what? Oh that, hmmm, a couple years now. I've been out since 10th MAY Really, what'd people say? LILLITH Not a lot really. I got a lot of "I so knew that" and "we'll love you no matter what." I mean you always have the homophobes and yeah, I hate to think about it, but a couple of my friends stopped talking to me. My best friend at the time included. May sighs. MAY Oh, I'm sorry… LILLITH Don't be it's in the past. May moves closer. MAY Well I know, but still… There is a small pause between them. The bell rings. MAY (CONT'D) Well I have to head to class. Can't be late again, Mr. Monroe, you know how he is. LILLITH Yeah, well it was cool talking, see you around. MAY See ya. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 25. May leaves. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL AUDREY'S LOCKER DAY Audrey sets her bags in her locker and throws her backpack over her shoulder. She turns around to see Leon standing there. AUDREY Oh, Leon, I didn't see you there LEON Haha, yeah it's my ninja skills. They're tight. AUDREY Weirdo LEON Yet you still hang out with me, so I may be a weirdo, but what does that say about you? Audrey laughs. AUDREY So what'd you need? LEON You know that test in Monroe's room? AUDREY Oh god don't remind me. LEON Yeah, that stupid thing. Maybe Jerry, you, and me could study for it. I dunno maybe it'd help. AUDREY Yeah, sounds like a good idea. LEON Coolio. AUDREY Yeah, so where do you want to study? Your house, my house, Jerry's? LEON I was thinking more like the river bank. It's a nice day out, you know. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 26. AUDREY Alright, so today after school. What time? LEON Howabout around 3 or 3:30 AUDREY Alright. LEON Oh and don't mention anything to Jerry, you know. AUDREY That you're trying to hook up with his girlfriend. Don't worry about it. (under her breathe) You're only fooling yourself. He heads off and Audrey shuts her locker. CUT TO: EXT. RIVERBANK DAY Jerry stands by the river bank, his pocket stuffed in his jacket, he looks around. He pulls his hands out of his pocket and glances at his watch. 3:35 JERRY He should be here by now, what gives. He turns around to see Audrey standing there. JERRY (CONT'D) Oh hey, you're here? You seen Leon? AUDREY No, I thought he was coming with you. JERRY He said he'd be coming with you. Audrey sits down on the banks, she puts her backpack down beside her. Jerry sits down beside her. AUDREY I guess we should get started. Jerry pulls out his book. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 27. JERRY So what do you want to cover today? AUDREY Howabout we study the first two parts of the chapter today and the other two parts tomorrow? JERRY Sounds like a plan. He looks over at Audrey. AUDREY Yeah? Jerry quickly turns away. JERRY Oh nothing. Audrey looks at him conspicuously, shakes her head, and goes back to studying. AUDREY You have any idea where Leon is. JERRY Not a clue. Audrey sighs. Jerry moves closer. AUDREY You know, at times I just don't get that guy. JERRY I don't think he gets himself. Audrey laughs. AUDREY He is an odd little fellow. JERRY Yeah, how true. Hard to imagine who'd date him. (beat) You wouldn't, would you? AUDREY Honestly? JERRY Sure, why not. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 28. AUDREY I could see myself going out with him, if I wasn't so sure he was a closet case. Jerry looks at her. JERRY What, Leon? I mean sure he's a bit faggy at times... (beat) No, wait, he's faggy most of the times. But he's not a closet case. (beat) Wait, yeah, I think he is. Audrey laughs. AUDREY I feel so accomplished, sitting here questioning our friends sexuality. JERRY Yeah, but hey he skipped out on us. AUDREY True, true. (beat) You know what? JERRY Yeah? AUDREY I'm thinking he planned for this to just be the two of us. JERRY What makes you say that. AUDREY Oh come on, don't you watch movies, or tv? Or even read books. It's a perfect example of a classic romantic device. A friend sets two initially platonic friends up, in hopes they'll get together. JERRY Do you think his ingenious plan will work? There is a moment when the two of them look at each other. Audrey laughs. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 29. AUDREY I don't know what May would have to say about that. JERRY She'd murder me, I know it. (beat) And I have a feeling, most of my exes would bring a shovel. He laughs. JERRY (CONT'D) So, out of curiosity, what kind of guys strikes your fancy? AUDREY Strikes my fancy? Wow, you do hang around Leon way too much. (beat) You know I'm not really sure. I mean I'd like someone whose casual, down to earth, of course sensitive, but also able to hold his own. Someone who is outgoing and somewhat athletic as well. (beat) Someone that who I'm with, I don't feel like I have to impress with a facade, but someone who when I'm with him, everything simply seems, well perfect. Jerry turns towards her. She looks at him for a while then turns away. AUDREY (CONT'D) But every time it seems I've found this guy, he draws away. Maybe I'm chasing just an idea. JERRY Or maybe you're simply not looking in the right place. AUDREY Perhaps there is no right place. JERRY Don't say that. Jerry moves closer to her. He stands up and takes a breath. She stands up next to him. He holds her hands in his. She looks at him. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 30. AUDREY I've tried. Jerry draws in for a kiss. But instead he embraces her. JERRY There is a guy out there for you, I know that for a fact. You'll find that guy who you take his breath away. Who when you're with everything will seem, well perfect. AUDREY Thanks, that helped, wow, when did you get so emotional? JERRY Hey, I have a sensitive side too. AUDREY Yeah, and it's really sweet. I like it. Jerry looks content. AUDREY (CONT'D) Hey, sorry to ruin this little mood, but do you have the time? Jerry looks at his watch. JERRY Yeah it's 6:30. AUDREY Oh yikes, I was suppose to be home an hour ago. JERRY Damns, and if your parents don't hate me enough. AUDREY They don't hate you, just don't like you that's all. JERRY They're loss. Audrey laughs. AUDREY Yeah, yeah it is. Well I gotta get going, byes. She heads off. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 31. Jerry gathers his stuff and throws his backpack over his shoulder. He turns to go home and almost runs into Leon. LEON So, how'd it go. CUT TO: INT. LEON'S HOUSE - BASEMENT -- LATER Leon and Jerry sit playing video games. LEON So what happened tonight? Jerry looks at him. JERRY You set that up, didn't you? LEON Guilty. (beat) So how'd it work out? JERRY We didn't kiss, if that's what your alluding too. I mean I have a girlfriend, and well it just wouldn't of felt right. LEON How incredibly noble, I'm impressed to say the least. It seems so out of character for you. JERRY Yeah, well hey, I surprised even myself. (beat) So tomorrow, we'll try studying for the test at my house? LEON Aight. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM - DAY Leon, May, Audrey and Jerry, holding a box of donuts, walk in. The three look around his room. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 32. Leon picks up a copy of "Pretty in Pink" lying on the bookshelf. LEON "Pretty in Pink"? And you call me gay? JERRY Don't burn the classics, Mr. "People's" magazine... AUDREY What? LEON Nothing, nothing. "Pretty in Pink's" a great flick. MAY Anyway shouldn't we actually study? AUDREY I guess. A few moments later they still stand around. Jerry holds out the box of donuts. JERRY Donut? Everyone takes one except Leon. JERRY (CONT'D) Leon, you want a donut? LEON I'm not really fond of donuts. MAY Really? LEON Actually I haven't had one in six years. AUDREY Sure... JERRY Why? LEON Ever seen "The Fly", the Cronenberg remake, not the original? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 33. JERRY No. LEON Well there's a scene with the main character, half mutated into a fly, grabs a jelly donut, pukes on it, and slurps it up. (beat) I get sick just thinking about the scene. Great movie, by the way. The others look disgusted and throw the donuts back in the box. CUT TO: INT. CLASS ROOM - DAY In the class Leon, Audrey, and Jerry sit in the seats next to each others. Leon pulls out a dog sculpture and a mini-radio. Audrey and Jerry pass notes. The teacher, MR. MONROE (35) talks to the class. MR. MONROE You have 30 minutes. Beginning... He looks at the clock, it hits 2:45. MR. MONROE (CONT'D) Now. The students begin to furiously scribble down their answers. MR. MONROE (CONT'D) This test counts for half your grade... He readies a coffee pot that sits on his desk. MR. MONROE (CONT'D) Oh, but Mr. Monroe that's not important. (beat) Wrong. He takes a sip. MR. MONROE (CONT'D) It could mean a matter of life and death. He takes a sip - the clock slowly ticks away. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 34. MR. MONROE (CONT'D) Well not death exactly but scholastic failure which will inevitably determine what college you go to, and how well you succeed. If you fail this, you'll find yourself on a downward spiral. He takes another sip. MR. MONROE (CONT'D) A fate worse then death. He looks at the clock and takes another sip. MR. MONROE (CONT'D) You may laugh at me now, but I can guarantee at least a third of you will be pumping my gas in the next five years. (beat) A cruel thought, yes. But true none the less. You'll take some low paying job, "it's only to pay for tuition" but they don't. You take another job - your studies fail.Am I getting through to any of you? You drop out of college, continue that piss poor job, get married, have kids, and before you know it... The clock hits 3:15 - the bell rings. Jerry's pencil breaks. Mr. Monroe takes his final sip sets his cup down. MR. MONROE (CONT'D) You're finished. The class relaxes. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - LOCKER - DAY Leon gathers stuff from his locker. Jerry stands by him. LEON You and Audrey really should consider going out. JERRY I'd love to. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 35. LEON Then why don't you? JERRY Because she deserves better. LEON Well maybe if you tried a bit harder. JERRY Like what? LEON I don't know, write a poem or something. JERRY I'm not an artsy type. LEON Well, you could always "borrow" one from your sister. JERRY I'm not sure. LEON Trust me. He closes the locker. CUT TO: INT. LILLITH'S ROOM DAY Leon and Jerry walk into her room. JERRY You son of a bitch, Leon, I don't know why you talked me into this. LEON You want Audrey, don't you? JERRY Well yeah. Leon sorts through her things. LEON Here's something. (beat) Your soft lips pressed against mine… Hey, this is pretty hot. Jerry looks on in horror. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 36. LEON (CONT'D) Your body… JERRY Stop reading that. LEON Hey look, there's pictures. He turns to show Jerry. JERRY Oh shit. LEON I'm just fucking with you. JERRY Oh god, I'm going to be scarred for life. (beat) I'm going to be thinking of this poem every time I see my sister. LEON Sucks for you. He stuffs the paper in his pocket. JERRY Well let's find some poems we can use and get out of here. LEON So what exactly is your sister into? JERRY Writing and girls for all I know. LEON It's strange how you can know someone for so long… JERRY No, no it isn't. LEON There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me. JERRY I doubt it. Leon opens one of Lillith's closet. LEON I don't eat meat. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 37. JERRY I think you do. Leon pauses. LEON How original... JERRY At least I'm not in denial. Leon grabs a stack of papers. LEON I found them. CUT TO: EXT. AUDREY'S HOUSE - DAY Jerry places the poem in the mailbox and leaves. A couple of seconds later Audrey picks up the mail. She opens it and smiles, then closes the envelope. She heads back inside. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL WALL DAY Leon, Audrey, and Jerry lean against the wall. AUDREY I can't describe it. LEON How about… simply brilliant. AUDREY I know. JERRY They must really like you. AUDREY Yeah, she does. JERRY She? Audrey pulls the poem out of her pocket. AUDREY Yeah, it's by Lillith. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 38. JERRY Son of a bitch. AUDREY What? JERRY Nothing, forget about it. He leaves. LEON You do know he sent that poem, right? AUDREY Oh piss. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY Leon and May walk through the halls to class. LEON And love will prevail. MAY You're such a hopeless romantic. LEON No, I'm a comedian because I see the folly of my ways. MAY So love is a joke? LEON For most guys, yes. (beat) So how are things with you and Jerry? MAY Fine. (beat) Hey, you wouldn't be interested in coming to my art exhibit, it's for my senior project. LEON Sure. What type? MAY It's a style I call "Surreal Post Neo Abstraction." (beat) The exhibits Saturday. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 39. LEON Sounds great. CUT TO: EXT. RIVERBANK DAY Jerry sits by the riverside. Audrey walks up next to him. AUDREY What the fuck were you thinking? JERRY I don't know, I wasn't. AUDREY And why did you use you're sisters poetry? JERRY It was Leon's idea. AUDREY I really don't know what to say. JERRY (starts to read from another poem) AUDREY That's wonderful. JERRY And I find myself… He pulls out a piece of paper. JERRY (CONT'D) Longing for your… AUDREY You're reading off her paper again, you cheap bastard. JERRY Come on. (beat) Well at least take this. He hands her a note. She turns it over. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 40. AUDREY It says her name right on the paper. (beat) I give up. She leaves. CUT TO: INT.. LEON'S BASEMENT DAY LEON and JERRY sit playing video games. LEON So the poems didn't work? JERRY Well they did succeed in making her believe I'm an asshole. LEON You need to try something different, something original and grandiose. I'll try to think of something. JERRY And anything you think of always ends up in disaster. LEON Yeah, but I need the laugh. CUT TO: INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY The store is nearly empty. Humphrey's office door is closed. Jerry runs a loaf of bread continuously through the register. Hayden is fixated on a display. HAYDEN It's art, that's all I can say. Jerry looks over. JERRY It's just a fucking display. CUT TO: EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY A mini van pulls into the parking lot. It pulls into a space. A middle aged woman - Mariam - steps out. She wears a black coat and has her hand shove into the pocket. She pulls out a cigarette and lights it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 41. MARIAM It's a quick job, I'm in and I'm out. Whatever it takes. She continues towards the store. MARIAM (CONT'D) Whatever it takes. CUT TO: INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY Hayden continues to stare at the display. HAYDEN But it's crafted, so symmetrical, so.... so... so perfect. Jerry shakes his head. HAYDEN (CONT'D) I'm a fucking artist. Jerry chucks the loaf of bread at the display and it comes crashing down. JERRY You're a fucking moron. Hayden bends over and begins re-stacking the display. The bell rings on the door and Mariam enters the store. Hayden looks up. HAYDEN Hello can we help you? Mariam glances quickly around. JERRY Ma'am? MARIAM I, I, I... She jets out a tattered bag. MARIAM (CONT'D) Money, I need money. No one replies. MARIAM (CONT'D) I don't have a lot of time here, clocks ticking. Open the register. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 42. They continue to stare at her. She pulls out a gun. MARIAM (CONT'D) I said open the register! HAYDEN Holy fuck! She points the gun at him. He hides behind the display. MARIAM Watch you're mouth, young man. It's not very becoming. Jerry opens the register. JERRY O.k O.k The register rings, and Humphrey opens the office door and steps out with a clipboard in hand. HUMPHREY Is that money I hear coming to. Mariam turns the gun on him. HUMPHREY (CONT'D) To... gaahhhh! He chucks the clipboard and turns back around and shuts the door. The lock is heard clicking. Hayden mutters under his breath HAYDEN That dumb bastard. Mariam holds out the bag and Jerry proceeds to put the money in. She nervously glances around. Jerry finishes filling the bag and she grabs it back, then leaves. The two take a moment to regain their composure. HAYDEN (CONT'D) You alright? Jerry jumps back a second. JERRY Yeah, I think so, you? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 43. HAYDEN Yeah, a little shaken, that's all. Hayden turns to the office door. HAYDEN (CONT'D) It's alright to come out now. The door is heard unlocking, and Humphrey nervously steps out. He looks around. HUMPHREY That's coming out of your paycheck, Jerry. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S BASEMENT DAY Leon and Jerry sits on the couch. They seem engaged in their game. Jerry seems relatively still shaken from the robbery. A 12 pack of coke sits at their feet. LEON An old woman. I still can't believe it. You're store got robbed by an old woman. That's just, wow, just fucking wow. Jerry takes a drink and chucks the empty can on the floor. LEON (CONT'D) Hey, don't throw that shit on my floor. JERRY Hey I could of died today, you know. LEON Cracker, please. JERRY Cracker, please, nothing. I seriously could of died. LEON I doubt that. And you're not dead now. So don't flip out over the past. What'd Audrey think if she saw you freaking out like this. (beat) That ain't how my crackaz roll. He takes a sip of coke. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 44. LEON (CONT'D) Damn this stuff is good. You know what'd be good right about now? JERRY No, what. LEON Hand me your cell. (beat) I feel like throwing a party. JERRY But this is my house! LEON I know. He picks up a stereo remote and hits play. "Tornado" by Mindless Self Indulgence begins playing. He flips open the cell. The next shot is of several people dancing and partying to music. Among them are May and Audrey. May seems thoroughly engaged in the party. Jerry and Leon stand together, looking at the small crowd. LEON (CONT'D) Hey look there's Audrey. JERRY Yeah I see, what about her? LEON You know you want her. Jerry looks at him and sighs. LEON (CONT'D) HEY AUDREY! Audrey looks up and smiles. She wanders over. AUDREY Jerry, party kicks, why'd you throw it? Jerry motions to Leon. JERRY Leon threw it. AUDREY In your house? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 45. Leon nods. AUDREY (CONT'D) Nice, Leon, nice. (beat) So what possessed you to throw it, anyhow? LEON When you need to throw a party, you need throw a party. And hey, it's not every day your best friend dodges a bullet. He looks over and motions to a crowd, as though he knows them. He dances over. AUDREY What's he talking about? JERRY Oh it's nothing really. Store got robbed today. It's nothing really. Audrey does a double take. AUDREY Oh my god, are you alright? JERRY Yeah, I'm fine. Audrey sighs. AUDREY That's good, must have been freaky though. Jerry laughs. JERRY Yeah, Humphrey just about pissed his pants. Audrey laughs. AUDREY So I take it now, you're out living life to the fullest. JERRY Yes, living everyday as if it were my last. Oh and trying not to piss off as many old ladies as possible. In the background some guy runs by with a pair of pants. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 46. JERRY (CONT'D) Hey have you seen May around anywhere? Audrey takes a quick glance around. AUDREY Sorry, can't say that I have. By the way how've things been with you two. JERRY Alright, I guess. AUDREY Guessing is never a good thing. JERRY Ah true… AUDREY I mean, uncertainty like that can mean you guess I falling out… JERRY That inspires confidence… AUDREY I'm just saying JERRY Yeah, I know what your saying. Still I just don't want to think about it. AUDREY Yeah, I can see why you wouldn't want to. Do you really love her, or are you just afraid of being alone? Pause. JERRY You know, I think I see May over there. He starts to head over. AUDREY You are so fucking impossible, Jerry. She turns around to see a guy standing there in boxers. GUY IN BOXERS You haven't happened to see a pair of pants around, have you? Audrey looks at him. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 47. AUDREY No, but I saw a shirt body surfing a while back. GUY IN BOXERS Hahah, thanks for the info. He starts to leave. GUY IN BOXERS (CONT'D) Wait, Audrey? Audrey Greens? AUDREY Yeah, wait do I know you? GUY IN BOXERS Maybe, you probably don't remember me though… AUDREY I might, refresh my memory. GUY IN BOXERS Does the name Bestiality Ben ring any bells? Audrey nods. AUDREY Holly shit, Bill Feins? BEN The same. AUDREY I love how you refer to yourself with such an unbecoming nickname. BEN Hey, it's a long sordid and rather humourous tale. The nickname has nostalgia. AUDREY It makes you sound like an animal lover. Ben laughs. BEN It's all anyone seems to remember me by now. It's my curse. AUDREY It's your stupidity. Are you still banned from that video store? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 48. Ben looks around. BEN Oh burn. No, surprisingly she quit. Haha how was I suppose to know what the hell that flick was. You know the story right, my friends told me to ask them if they had any bestiality films in stock. AUDREY Yeah I know the story, wow it's hard to believe it's been three years since that happened. BEN Yeah… Hey this is going to sound kind of odd, given the circumstance, but would you like to go out sometime? Pause. AUDREY Ummm… BEN For the record I didn't take my pants off willingly. My shirt, that's another story. (beat) Allo. AUDREY You see the thing is… BEN The thing is what? AUDREY Well… BEN Ah, I see how it is… He starts to leave. AUDREY Ben, wait! He stops and turns around. AUDREY (CONT'D) I guess one date couldn't hurt. BEN Yes! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 49. AUDREY Just remember to bring clothes. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM DAY Jerry sits on his bed, his homework scattered all over the place. He picks up the cordless and dials. CUT TO: INT. MAY'S ROOM DAY May's room is a mess, we can see half written poetry and art attempts everywhere. The phone rings. And she picks up. JERRY (O.S.) Hey May, it's me Jerry. Parents aren't home I was wondering if you wanted to come over CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM CONTINUED Jerry continues to talk. MAY (O.S.) I don't know… I might be busy JERRY Come on, I haven't seen you all weekend. Please, for me? CUT TO: INT. MAY'S HOUSE DAY May sighs and throws on a hoodie. MAY Alright, I can hang for about an hour. JERRY (O.S.) Thanks. MAY Hey do you know if Lillith is there? JERRY She should be why? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 50. MAY Oh no reason, she's cool to talk to, you know JERRY I guess. She makes a hurried attempt to straighten her hair and heads out the door. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM DAY He puts down the phone and falls back on his bed. He puts on some headphones and blares the music. CUT TO: EXT. JERRY'S HOUSE DAY May walks up the driveway, she's halfway to the door when she's met by Lillith. LILLITH We really need to talk. MAY Can it wait? LILLITH No, look, this is really important, please. She starts to walk to the backyard and May follows. MAY Yeah, what's this about? LILLITH I really don't know how to say it, and I'm not sure if I can. But I think I might be falling for you. MAY Come again? LILLITH This past week, just talking to you has been something else. I can't describe it. Every minute I'm not with you I feel nothing. I feel empty. MAY Ummmm. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 51. LILLITH I know I'm coming on strong. I don't even know your sexuality, I know. But I can't help it. MAY But Rain… LILLITH I broke up with her. There's a slight pause. May turns away. LILLITH (CONT'D) Oh god, I've made a mistake, haven't I? May walks up and grabs her arms and looks her in the eyes. MAY No, you haven't. I'm just surprised, that's all. LILLITH Really? MAY Really, I've never had someone take a chance with me. Lillith smiles and they draw closer. Lillith puts her arms around May. MAY (CONT'D) I have a confession to make, too. LILLITH Yeah MAY You know that girl I told you about the other day? The one I said I think I was falling for, the one who I'm holding in my arms right now. LILLITH What about her MAY I'm completely in love with her. They draw in for a long and impassioned kiss. They draw away slowly. LILLITH How was that? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 52. MAY Perfect. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM DAY Jerry paces around his room, he keeps glancing at the phone. JERRY What could be keeping her? CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL JERRY'S LOCKER Jerry puts his books in his locker, Leon comes running down the halls and stops abruptly in front of him. LEON Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy-fucking-shit, you're not going to believe who asked Audrey out. Jerry thinks on this for a while. JERRY Someone asked Audrey out? LEON That's what I said, but that's not the kicker, just guess… JERRY Hmm. LEON I'll give you a clue… He starts to mock-hump the air. Jerry turns away. JERRY Dear god, Leon, I know you're repressed but still… Leon stops. LEON Hey fuck you too. JERRY I feel the love. So who asked her out. Leon continues with the fake air humping. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 53. LEON Oh oh oh yes yes yes, you really are man's best friend. JERRY You are one weird fucker, Leon. PETA would have kicked your ass for that… LEON And, but did you get the hint? JERRY No, all I got was you fake orgasm like a girl and you might be into bestiality (beat) Wait, does this have anything to do with Bill Feins? Leon nods. LEON Yes, yes it does. JERRY Bill Feins asked Audrey out? LEON Yes. And you ready for the real kicker… (beat) She said yes. CUT TO: INT. BILLS HOUSE DAY A stereo blast a song in gusto as Bill Starts dancing around his house. He prepares for his date with Audrey in a montage that plays to the rhythm of the song. CUT TO: INT. AUDREY'S HOUSE - EVENING Audrey rushes to get ready. AUDREY Hey mom, have you seen my purse? Her mom yells back from downstairs. MRS.SHORE Check the living room. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 54. AUDREY Thanks mom. The doorbell rings. AUDREY (CONT'D) It's him, tell him to hold on a second. Downstairs, Audrey's mom answers the door. Bill Fines, looking well groomed, and dressed, stands at the door. MRS.SHORE Come in... BILL Bill. MRS.SHORE Bill, it's great to meet you. Audrey seems so enthralled by you. BILL Enthralled, really? Audrey's dad steps up behind Mrs. Shore. MR.SHORE Yes, and I'm curious to know why she's so taken to you. He pulls out a flashlight and shines it on him. Ben looks like a deer in the headlights. He starts to laugh and puts away the flashlight. MR.SHORE (CONT'D) Hahaha, I'm just joking with you. He walks up to Bill. BILL You had me there for a sec, Mr. Shore. MR.SHORE I did, didn't I. And please call me John. (beat) Yeah, but don't worry I'm not one of those dads. BILL That's good to know, John. (MORE) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 55. BILL (CONT'D) (beat) And don't worry I'm not one of those boyfriends. The kind of guy who drives a bike, with his life story inked on his sleeve, and a spirit that urges with rebellion. They laugh. MR.SHORE That's always good to know. Audrey walks down the stairs. She is absolutely stunning. AUDREY Whatever my parents say about me it's a lie. MR.SHORE Relax, Aud, I'm not going to tell any embarrassing stories, like that one time you... AUDREY Dad! MR.SHORE Relax. I'm joking. AUDREY Yeah I know. BILL Well Audrey, I have to say, you look absolutely breathtaking. MRS. SHORE A romantic as well, well Audrey I have to say, he seems like quite the catch. BILL Well, I'm flattered. MR.SHORE Hey, you two kids should be heading out soon. Have a great time. They start to leave. BILL What time do you want her back. MR.SHORE It's a weekend so why not 12. (MORE) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 56. MR.SHORE (CONT'D) (beat) And call if you're going to be late, o.k? AUDREY Alrights, love you guys. See ya. They walk to Bill's car. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM - EVENING Jerry and Leon sit in his room. JERRY How can she be going out with Bill? LEON I have no clue. JERRY I mean it's Bill, you know. LEON Yeah, maybe she sees something in him. JERRY Or maybe she thinks she does. LEON Jealous? Jerry sits on his bed. JERRY Is it that obvious. Leon sits down next to him. LEON I could of never guessed. CUT TO: INT. LILLITH'S ROOM - EVENING - CONTINUOUS May sits on Lillith's bed. LILLITH What's on your mind. She looks at her. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 57. MAY Oh nothing, just thinking about how perfect you are. She smiles and they kiss. LILLITH You did break up with Jerry, right? There is a pause. MAY Oh that, yeah, he's cool. LILLITH That's wonderful to hear. They fall back on the bed together embracing and kissing. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM - EVENING - CONTINUOUS Jerry paces back and forth. JERRY Well it's Bill, right, he'll find a way to fuck up. LEON Relax, Jerry, relax. JERRY I can't, not knowing there's a chance the date might actually go well. He stops pacing for a second. JERRY (CONT'D) Hold on, I'll be right back. He leaves. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY DAY He walks towards Lillith's room. He knocks on the door. JERRY Lillith? You in there? CUT TO: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 58. INT. LILLITH'S ROOM - EVENING - CONTINUOUS May and Lillith stop making out. MAY Oh shit. Lillith looks at her. LILLITH You didn't, did you? May sighs. MAY No, I'm so so sorry. I'll break up with him soon. JERRY (O.S.) Alloz? LILLITH Give me a second. She opens the door. JERRY You got a second? He looks around, and sees someone laying on the bed. He can't see who it is though. LILLITH Not at the moment, sorry. JERRY Sorry, didn't know you had someone over. LILLITH It's cool. JERRY Hey. No response. LILLITH Don't worry about her, she's kind of shy. New dyke, you know. JERRY Yeah, it's cool. LILLITH Yeah, she just broke up with her boyfriend, too. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 59. JERRY Ah well I won't keep you two. He leaves and closes the door. May sits up and takes a breath. LILLITH You need to break up with him. She sits back down on the bed. MAY Yeah, I know. And I'm going to. An ackward pause. LILLITH I love you. May smiles. MAY I love you, too. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM - EVENING - CONTINUOUS He enters. Leon is searching through his stuff. He promptly stops. LEON So what'd you ask Lillith? JERRY Oh nothing, she had someone over. LEON Ah I say, who. JERRY I have no clue, some new chick. LEON What happened to Rain? JERRY Rain? LEON You know her last girlfriend. The man hater. JERRY Oh right, her, I guess they broke up. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 60. LEON Good, she kind of freaked me out. (beat) So what were you going to ask her. Jerry sits on his bed. JERRY Honestly, I just don't know. I just need to know that the date won't go well. That there's a chance she could fall for me. LEON Ah I see. Well it's Bill, so I wouldn't worry about it. JERRY I'm trying. He falls back on his bed. CUT TO: INT. LILLITH'S ROOM - MORNING May suddenly awakes. Lillith lies asleep next to her. SHE LOOKS AT THE ALARM. 8: MAY Shit! Lillith turns to her. LILLITH Morning. She sits up. LILLITH (CONT'D) Wait, it's morning? MRS. WRIGHT (O.S.) Jerry, Lillith, you two need to get up. LILLITH O.K stay here for a sec. MAY Ok. She opens the door and walks out. CUT TO: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 61. INT. JERRY'S ROOM - MORNING - CONTINUOUS Jerry awakes, and looks over to see Leon, fast asleep on a chair. JERRY Leon, wake up. We must of dozed off. LEON Well, could you let me "doze back off" for a few more minutes. JERRY No, come on get up. MRS. WRIGHT (O.S.) Come on you two hurry up, days burning out. The two of them get up. LEON Do you want to call Audrey? JERRY I would, but I don't have Bill's number. LEON Wow, you were really anticipating the worst, weren't you. JERRY Can you blame me. LEON Yeah, actually, yeah I can. Jerry stops at his door, he turns around. JERRY Fuck you two Leon, fuck you two. He closes the door. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S HOUSE - DOWNSTAIRS - MORNING Lillith, and her mother sit at the table eating cereal. Jerry and Leon wander downstairs. MRS.WRIGHT Well morning to both of you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 62. LEON Morning. He slumps down in a chair. Picks up a section of the paper and starts reading. MRS.WRIGHT You didn't tell me you had company. JERRY You didn't ask. He grabs a bowl. And pours some cereal. JERRY (CONT'D) Leon, you want anything. LEON No, I'm good for now. Not much of a breakfast person myself. MRS.WRIGHT Well you shouldn't skip meals, it isn't healthy. LEON On second thought, some cereal would be good. He grabs Leon a bowl. MRS.WRIGHT Well next time you plan to have company in the morning, please tell me. I like to have fair warning so I'm not stuck in my pjs in front of your friends. JERRY Yeah, alright, Leon hadn't planned to stay the night. We just dozed off. Lillith sits up. LILLITH I'll be right back. She heads back upstairs. CUT TO: INT. LILLITH'S ROOM - MORNING - CONTINUOUS The door opens and May gasp. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 63. MAY I can explain, I was just... LILLITH It's just me. May breathes a sigh of relief. MAY Wait it's Sunday, isn't it? LILLITH Yes, yes it is. MAY Oh shit! LILLITH What? MAY My art show, it's today! LILLITH When today? MAY It starts at 9:30 or so, but I need to get ready, god I'm not going to have time to go home... Lillith stops her for a second. LILLITH Hold on. She goes to her closet. LILLITH (CONT'D) What are you looking to wear. MAY Something classy, with a tinge of pop culture. LILLITH Will this work? She throws her some clothes. MAY Those are perfect. LILLITH What else do you need? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 64. MAY Shower would be nice. LILLITH Yeah it would be. She looks at her and smiles. She throws her a towel. LILLITH (CONT'D) Third door on the left. And my toothbrush is the green one if you need to use it. May start to leave. MAY Aren't you coming? LILLITH We've only started going out. Sheesh, I'm a dyke, not a slut. May laughs. MAY Yeah, true. She leaves. LILLITH Oh and remember to lock the door, you don't want anyone walking in on you. (beat) I'll knock when it's ok to come out. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S HOUSE - DOWNSTAIRS - MORNING - CONTINUOUS Jerry and Leon sit eating breakfast. Mrs. Wright has left. JERRY So what do you plan to do today? LEON May's gallery is today, right? There is a pause. JERRY Oh right, it is. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 65. LEON Well I'd promised her I'd check it out. After I go home, get showered and dressed and all that good stuff. (beat) And you? JERRY I'll check the gallery out sometime, but I'll probably head to Audrey's to see how the date went. LEON Ah, I should of guessed. Leon drops his spoon and they get up from the table. He sits up and puts his bowl in the sink. LEON (CONT'D) Well I'm off. JERRY To see the wizard? LEON The wonderful wizard of oz. (beat) Damn, I am tired. See ya, man. He heads toward the door. Jerry head upstairs. On the staircase he runs into Lillith coming down the stairs. LILLITH Where you going. JERRY Shower. LILLITH Oh. She continues to walk but suddenly stops. LILLITH (CONT'D) Wait, you can't. JERRY Why not? She stops to think a moment. LILLITH Well there's this girl in there. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 66. JERRY Ah, so I'll wait for when she's done. LILLITH It's not that simple. She absolutely loathes you. She'd stop talking to me if she knew I was related. JERRY What'd I do? LILLITH I have no idea, perhaps you were just being you, I have no clue. (beat) Just please, go into your room and well stay there until I say it's cool. JERRY Come on now, she'll find out you're my sister either way. LILLITH Just not so soon. Please. JERRY Alright, I owe you, this at least. LILLITH Thanks. He heads upstairs. She turns around and heads upstairs. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY MORNING Lillith walks past the bathroom door and knocks two times. May opens the door. She looks radiant, yet, theatrically sophisticated. LILLITH May, my god, you're radiant. MAY You're the one with the great taste in wardrobe. LILLITH Well hurry. Jerry's in his room. We can make it out of the house and then I can drive you to the show. MAY You're a lifesaver. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 67. She kisses her. They leave. CUT TO: INT. JERRY'S ROOM - MORNING - CONTINUOUS Jerry sits in wait. He hears a car start and drive off, out his window. He opens the door. JERRY Lillith? No answer. He shrugs and walks out the his room holding a towel over his shoulder. CUT TO: INT. LEON'S HOUSE - BASEMENT -- CONTINUOUS Leon and Audrey sit in his basement. LEON So how'd the date with Bill go? She sighs. LEON (CONT'D) That bad? AUDREY Horrible, just horrible. LEON What happened? AUDREY Nothing, a shitty movie, and the worst attempt of a "move" I've ever seen. LEON Wow. AUDREY Subtlety was not this guys strong point. He hasn't changed a bit. I just thought. LEON You thought that he may be withholding a sensitive side that you may be able to bring to light through love. That there is more then one may think to him. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 68. Audrey laughs. AUDREY Yeah, but he's not like that, not in the least. LEON Well Bill Feins is a what you see is what you get kind of guy. AUDREY And what you see simply isn't much at all. LEON True. (beat) But he asked you out, half drunk, at a party, and in boxers, what'd you expect. AUDREY Oh my god, you're right, well next guy who ask me out, I'll make sure he is wearing clothes. LEON That's always a good thing. He sit up. LEON (CONT'D) Well I have to get heading to May's art gallery. AUDREY That's today? LEON Yeah, it is. AUDREY Mind if I come, I've always wanted to see her work. (beat) And well there's something I need to say to her. LEON Not at all. It's coolio. They walk out of the basement. CUT TO: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 69. INT.ART GALLERY - DAY The room is crowded with spectators browsing May's work. They look in fascination at rather horrid abstract works. May admires her work. Leon and Audrey walk into the room. AUDREY There's May, could you give us too a second. LEON Ooo cat fight. AUDREY You wish. But please. LEON Yeah, sure, it's not a problem. He heads off. Audrey walks up behind May. AUDREY You may call your work abstract, but that still doesn't mean it sucks. MAY Fuck you. What I do is art. AUDREY No, it's a travesty. Any hack can snap a photo or scribble out a painting, it doesn't mean it's art. MAY I convey… AUDREY What do you convey? The suffrage of humans, the searching of truth- or any of that recycled bullshit that you don't give a fuck about? MAY This has something to do with Jerry doesn't it. AUDREY To get to the point: yeah. MAY You want him. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 70. AUDREY Yes I want him, I want to fuck his brains out. (beat) No, I don't feel that way about him. MAY Then you don't like me as his girlfriend? AUDREY He can do better. MAY The hell he can. AUDREY Bill told me about last week at the video store. (beat) You cheated on Jerry, with him, he told me. MAY No I don't. And you believe him? AUDREY Yeah, you do. And yeah, I do believe him. MAY I do not cheat. AUDREY I've seen you. You're a user. MAY Only to get close with his sister. AUDREY See I knew… what? May walks to another exhibit. Audrey follows. AUDREY (CONT'D) Then why not just ask her? MAY This may sound a bit odd, but I actually do care enough about him not to do something like that to him AUDREY I'd hope so ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 71. MAY But stay the fuck away from him. AUDREY We're just friends. MAY Oh and don't tell anyone what I told you. AUDREY Right, I wouldn't want Jerry to find out you're using him for his sister. MAY Thanks. She turns to walk away. MAY (CONT'D) Are you guys sure your relationship is solely platonic? AUDREY If it wasn't I would have gone a long time ago. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY'S -- DAY Jerry opens his locker, inside a note fall out. JERRY What the? He opens it. IT READS: "Jerry, I think we should break up - May" JERRY Why? He look to see a few other letters sitting on a pile. He opens the top one, it reads: "I just don't think we're right for each other." JERRY (CONT'D) Come on... He picks up another one. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 72. IT READS: "Come on nothing, you're just too lazy" JERRY Alright... He opens another. IT READS: "See..." He folds the note and shoves it in his pocket. He walks off. CUT TO: EXT. SCHOOL - DAY Audrey and Jerry walk down the hall. JERRY Yeah, May and I broke up today. He pulls out the waded up notes out of his pocket. JERRY (CONT'D) I have the notes to proves, man, I hate when people break up in notes, it's so shallow. AUDREY Oh that's to bad: did she say why? JERRY No, she didn't. Hey would you like to grab a bite after school? AUDREY As a date? JERRY Why not? AUDREY I'm busy. JERRY Well why not, we're friends. AUDREY That's why. I know you, let's face it, you're an asshole when it comes to relations. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 73. JERRY Well yeah, but look I really care about you. And I'm getting better. AUDREY You just don't fair well. JERRY Ah yes, I'm the perennial fuck up, Audrey please. What about being friends? (beat) With benefits? AUDREY As a friend I'm saying good luck finding another girlfriend. As a possible date, I'm saying fuck off. She starts to cross the street. He tries to follow but is a line of cars blocks his path. JERRY Audrey, wait. Dammit. CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY DAY LEON and JERRY lean against two lockers. LEON So you broke up with May? JERRY No, she actually… LEON Came to her senses? JERRY slams him against the wall. JERRY Piss off. (beat) That poem you wrote, that was about her, wasn't it? LEON I'm not going to say. JERRY Come on, Audrey already told me. Looking back, it's obvious you hit on her every chance you got. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 74. LEON No I didn't. May passes them. LEON (CONT'D) Hey. Jerry slams him against the wall. JERRY Fucker. LEON What? So, I actually give a damn about her. (beat) So you wanna fight? Alright. He takes a stance, Jerry watches him for a few moments. JERRY Take a shot. Leon slaps him. He looks puzzled, then punches him into a locker. Leon lays still. JERRY (CONT'D) Leon? No response. He walks away after May. JERRY (CONT'D) May, wait up. She turns around. MAY What. JERRY I need to talk. MAY You know we're over. JERRY Yeah, the past is the past. MAY Don't you mean yesterday? JERRY Yeah, sure. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 75. MAY What'd you want to talk about... JERRY I want to know... Out of nowhere Leon tackles him, May jumps back. They continue to beat each other up. JERRY (CONT'D) May... He's slammed into a locker. MAY Yes? He now has Leon in a headlock. JERRY I want to know... They push past the doors to the pool. MAY You want to know? JERRY Why you broke up with me? LEON It was for me, wasn't it? Jerry punches him into the pool. He is pulled in, too. They reemerge. MAY Guys, I left for Lillith. A brief pause. It's ended by Leon. LEON Nice. Jerry punches him. The screen goes black. CUT TO: EXT. SCHOOL WALL DAY Leon collapses against the wall. Audrey stands next to him. He nurses a bloody nose. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 76. AUDREY Where's Jerry. LEON I don't know or care for that matter. Why the fuck did you tell him? AUDREY Tell him what. LEON About May? AUDREY I didn't. LEON Sure you didn't. Then how'd he find out? AUDREY I don't know, maybe it was the fact you hit on her every chance you got. LEON Well it worked, didn't it? AUDREY That's a horrible thing to say. And she didn't leave because of you. LEON Yeah, I know, you know why she left right... AUDREY Yeah, she left for Lillith. LEON I know. How hot, right! AUDREY Perv. LEON I know. AUDREY You're such a typical guy. LEON Strong, hot, and sexy? AUDREY I said the typical guy; not your fantasies. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 77. LEON My fantasies are the typical guy… Audrey looks at him. (beat) I mean girl. AUDREY Sure they are. She looks over. AUDREY (CONT'D) Well I have to go. See ya. LEON Bye. And hey, you should give Jerry a chance, he's a nice guy. AUDREY He does have a sweet side. She starts to leave. LEON And he's hot. AUDREY What? LEON Just kidding. AUDREY Glad to see you still have a sense of humour. (beat) I've heard it's where truth is most often apparent. LEON Oh shut up. She leaves. He falls back against the wall. CUT TO: INT. STORE - DAY Jerry is in the middle of ringing a customer up, when he stops. JERRY You know, I've had it. (beat) I quit. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 78. He starts to walk away and Humphrey stops him. HUMPHREY Well since your quitting, I guess you don't need this. He hands him a pink slip. JERRY You're firing me? HUMPHREY No, I'm handing you this as a parting gift. Of course I was going to fire you. You beat me to the punch. Jerry sighs and takes the slip and crams it into his pocket. He exits the store. CUT TO: INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY He sighs and starts walking, suddenly Steve comes out of nowhere and tackles him. STEVE I told you, I'd get you. CUT TO: INT. RIVERBANK - DAY Jerry sits by it. Audrey walks up to him. AUDREY Hey, I've been looking for you. JERRY What the fuck was I thinking? (beat) All relationships are doomed to fail. AUDREY Figures. JERRY What? AUDREY You're always pessimistic about this shit. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 79. JERRY Can you blame me? AUDREY Well what about marriage? JERRY You die. She sits down next to him. AUDREY I know how you feel about me. JERRY So, it doesn't matter unless you feel the same way. It doesn't matter that every time I see you, I'm reminded of how much I love you, and how I have to give it up because you don't feel the same way. (beat) Shit that sounded really cheesy. Audrey laughs. AUDREY Yeah it did. (beat) The sentiment was nice, though. JERRY It still doesn't matter. AUDREY For me it doesn't, and as flattered as I am, it never will. But, don't beat yourself up then bitch like a little pussy over one person. (beat) It's wonderful you went through all that just for me. JERRY And I'll probably go through it all again. AUDREY Well at least you're trying. (beat) Jerry, you're a great friend. JERRY I guess. AUDREY And I'm glad we have that. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 80. They sit there a moment. She stands up and leaves. Jerry chucks a rock into the water. He takes a breath. JERRY Fuck. FADE OUT:Return to SimplyScripts.com