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THE EVIL CONSPIRACIES OF HIGH SCHOOL
Written By:
Joey Janes
Paul Goetz
Charles Ashrafzadeh
________________________________________________________________________
CAST
Raven Garrett ------ RAVEN
Shawn Miller ------- SHAWN
The Scary Dude ----- TWIZZLER
Angela Logan ------ ANGIE
Kayla Johnson ------ KAYLA
Nicole Timmers ----- NIKKI
Brooke Logan ------- BROOKE
Sydney Hardwell ---- SID
Cheerleaders ------- THE A SQUAD
Lukas Fisher ------- LUKE
Steven Pulse ------- STOMPER
Murphy Dell -------- M.D.
Run In Girl -------- SAMANTHA
______________________________________________________________________
{OPEN at a STEAK N' SHAKE}
Raven Garrett> {Looking at a magazine and hands it to the guy next to
him.} So...what do you think, dude?
Shawn Miller> I think you're nuts, dude. Crazy.
Raven> WHAT?
Shawn> How can you say that?
Raven> He's completely homocized. {Takes a drink of shake}
Shawn> Look, if he was meant to be gay then he would've at least had
feelings for another of his kind.
Raven> Not true. See, Shawn, his kind don't have feelings.
Shawn> Oh yeah. I'm looking at it and I don't see any homosexual
tendencies.
Raven> {He takes another sip and it's gone.} He's a flamer, man, a down
right fairy.
Shawn> DAMN IT, RAVEN...C-3PO IS NOT GAY...HE'S BRITISH! {He slams his
fist down and eats a french fry}
Raven> Forget you, Shawn. {Waves him off}
Shawn> No, Raven, Forget you!
{A minute goes by and they just sit there}
Raven> Wanna go to the park?
Shawn> Swings?
Raven> {They stand up} You bet!
Shawn> Let's go. {They pay and walk out.}
{CUT to a BLANK screen and hear "SWEETNESS" by "JIMMY EAT WORLD" then
SHOW the CREDITS. Song FADES as we OPEN in a PARK camera FOCUSED on
RAVEN only]
Raven> {Sitting on a bench.} I have a thoughtful question for you.
Listen carefully, okay. What if the Hokey-Pokey really is what it's all
about?
[CAMERA PANS out to show a KID sitting next to RAVEN smiling at him]
Shawn> {Standing by the tree next to him} Leave the kid alone, Rave.
Raven> {The kid gets up and walks away.} Hey, man! I was having a good
conversation with him.
Shawn> You know. We have been best friends for what?...12 years, I still
don't understand you.
Raven> {Stands up and heads over to the lake} Not much to understand
really. Primetime, Saturday morning, and late night infomercials. That's
about it.
Shawn> {Looks at him like he's an idiot and then thinks hard} See, I
don't understand it, man...you completely forgot MTV! GOD!
{CUT and OPEN on the SWING SET}
Shawn> {Looking at all the girls around him} Why can't we have girls
like those?
Raven> We have no jobs. No goals. No motivation. And no TV. guide, man,
you promised me a TV. guide!
Shawn> Why don't chicks like us?
Raven> We live in a house with my mom, and the property owner is a
hippie. Besides that, we have nothing to offer them.
Shawn> Dude, what do you need to offer them besides love. We don't have
to support them. Girls lie, man, they want to support you. It gives them
a charge to do so. {Sees a girl walking down the path and points} Go ask
her.
Raven> I think I will. {He gets up and walks over to her} Hey.
Girl> Hi.
Raven> I was wondering if you would like to go out with me. I have no
job, I'm in High School, I live in a house with my mother, and I'll even
let you support me for the rest of your life, considering you'll die
first from stress. {She smacks him and walks away. He just looks around
and walks back over to the swing}
Shawn> I don't think that this is a good time to tell you that I was
just kidding. That looked like it hurt, dude.
Raven> {Looks at him angrily} Dude, un-cool! Man, one day you're gonna
get pay back and I'm... {A ball flies and hits Shawn in the face
knocking him off the swing} Damn, dude! Are you okay. {He hears Shawn
moan in pain and he chuckles} Dude, I know you're in pain and all, but
that was funny, dude! {He laughs at him and a ball flies and hits him in
the head and he falls off the swing.}
{CUT and OPEN at the HOUSE}
Raven> {Walks out into the living room and kicks at Shawn who is on the
couch} Dude, it's still dark and it's 9:09 in the morning!
Shawn> {Yawns and looks at the clock. He sighs and flips it right side
up} Dude, it's 6:06, you dip! Go back to bed.
Raven> I can't, man. The scary dude is back in my bed.
Shawn> How many times do I have to tell you that the scary dude was in
your nightmare and he doesn't exist. Go back to bed.
Raven> But Shawn...
Shawn> Raven!
Raven> Fine. {He walks back to his bed and gets in. He sits there for a
minute and then screams} SHAWN, THE SCARY DUDE IS LAYING WITH ME!
Shawn> {Comes into the dark room} Rave, how many times do I have
to...{He turns on the lights and sees a kid laying next to RAVEN}
Raven> See. I told you.
{CUT and OPEN in front of Ronnies Cinema}
Shawn> [LOOKING into the CAMERA the WHOLE TIME] Okay, check this out.
I'm Shawn Miller and this is, and will forever be, my best friend Raven
Garrett.
Raven> {Waves} Hey.
Shawn> See, as you have seen, we really were not motivated for anything.
I feel that everything that we do is justified somewhere but just not
here. This is the story of our year. This was the year that we will
never forget. This was our year as Sophomores.
Raven> Yeah, and that scary dude, turned out to be pretty cool. {Looks
around and leans up against the wall.} The reason why were are now
narrating the story instead a little while ago when the credits rolled
is because we wanted you to see us for us. If we started talking first
you would think we were a bunch of liars.
Shawn> Besides that you wouldn't pay attention to it.
Raven> Why would you say that?
Shawn> Because it's true. They would think that we were like a
commercial if all we did was talk, dude. Who listens to commercials?
Raven> Good point. This is not a commercial, this is a movie. ["THIS IS
A GREAT MOVIE" blinks on the screen] We are just people who are telling
a story. We named the movie THE EVIL CONSPIRACIES OF HIGH SCHOOL because
that's pretty much what was be plotted on the last day of school before
a week long break called Spirit Week. A conspiracy!
Shawn> Yeah!
{CUT and OPEN back at the HOUSE. CAMERA FOCUSED on what they called THE
SCARY DUDE. It is a kid EATING Twizzlers but isn't TALKING.}
Shawn> Who is this dude? {He looks at the kid and the kid looks back at
him. He turns around and walks to the other side of the room.}
Raven> I've never seen him before, dude. He just showed up in my bed
tonight.
Shawn> {His back to Raven and the kid} So you don't know him and I don't
know him...what are we gonna do with him, man? {Silence} Dude? {Silence}
Buddy? {Silence so he turns around} RAVEN! {Raven is sitting next to the
kid happily enjoying the Twizzlers and smiling.}
Raven> Dude, seriously, sit down and eat a Twizzler. It will take your
mind off of everything. {Shawn stares at him a minute then shakes his
head and sits down. The kid hands him a Twizzler and he eats it smiling}
{CUT and OPEN in the LIVING ROOM with all of them SLEEPING and an empty
bag of Twizzlers laying on the table. RAVEN wakes up}
Raven> I got it? We'll call him Twizzler! He doesn't talk so he'll be a
good listener.
Shawn> I like it.
Raven> We better get ready, dude. It's almost time for school!
Shawn> Oh yeah! {They get up and walk into different rooms. Twizzler
falls off the couch}
{CUT and OPEN at Angela LOGAN's HOUSE}
Angela Logan> {On the phone} I wanna be on her Varsity team next year so
I have to do whatever my sister says...No. I wish I could be Captain,
but that would be when I am a senior. I'm only a Sophomore. Okay, I have
to go. Bye. {Hangs up the phone and looks in the mirror} You'll make the
team this year. You and Nikki both. {She blows a kiss at her reflection
and walks out the door}
{CUT and OPEN OUTSIDE of Angela's HOUSE}
Nicole> Angie! I am so excited. I can't believe that we have a chance so
early in our high school careers to be on the A Squad!
Angela> My sister runs that squad and I know she's gonna have me do
something harsh to get in.
{CUT and OPEN in the HALLWAY.}
Shawn> {Running and turns a corner. He runs into someone and they both
fall over} Crap! I'm so sorry.
Samantha (RUN IN GIRL)> It's okay, really. Where are you in a hurry to?
Shawn> I'm late for class.
Samantha> But that was the lunch bell.
Shawn> I know. It's the only class I'm good at. {She smiles and waves
good bye and he waves back} Bye. {He jogs off.}
{CUT and OPEN in the COURTYARD right OUTSIDE of the CAFETERIA. RAVEN and
SHAWN are sitting with KAYLA JOHNSON}
Kayla> So the kid just climbed through your window? {She takes a bite of
her sandwich} I don't get it.
Raven> He loves Twizzler so that's what we call him. He doesn't speak
too much though.
Kayla> You call him Twizzler?
Shawn> Yeah. {He takes a drink of milk and throws the carton away.} He's
kinda cool. He's gonna stay at our place for awhile. How's the Freshman
class?
Kayla> Why do you call it your place? Isn't it Raven's mom's house?
{CUT and OPEN in a PARKING LOT as RAVEN and SHAWN are WALKING}
Raven> Okay, let me explain this. My mom pays for the house and I just
live there. Me and Shawn are both 17, but we were held back in
Kindergarten and then 5th grade so...
Shawn> We kinda live with his mom, but she's always gone on business
trips and stuff so we live there with no rent. She pays for food and
stuff and leaves us cash and checks, but...
Raven> Why does Shawn live there, you ask? Where are his parents and his
house? Well, that's simple. His parents are here, but they gave him
permission to move out and my mom took him in. [He points at the camera]
{CUT and OPEN back at the TABLE where we left off}
Raven> My mom is never home and she won't be back for two more weeks.
Kayla> What does she do again?
Raven> {Looks at Shawn who shrugs} I dunno.
{CUT to INSIDE the BUILDING to a TABLE where Angela, NICOLE, and SYDNEY
HARDWELL are SITTING}
Angela> I am not going to eat this garbage! {Tosses her burger to the
side} I'm too nervous and I don't wanna get fat!
Sydney Hardwell> Angie, I think the food will calm your stomach.
Nicole> I don't see you eating anything Sydney.
Angela> Yeah, Sid. Why aren't you calming your stomach?
Sydney> Nikki, I have no stomach and I ate a candy bar 10 minutes ago.
{The bell rings and they get up and walk out the door. She hands a can
of Pepsi to Angela} At least drink this.
{SCAN the CAMERA over to RAVEN, SHAWN, and KAYLA who are next to them.}
Raven> DUDE! I got it! Wanna watch the cheerleaders practice after
school today?
Shawn> Sweet, dude! Chicks in mini-skirts!
Kayla> You guys are really pathetic. You're retarded. {She walks away
mumbling to herself}
{CUT to the GIRLS WALKING by}
Angela> I'm not drinking this! {Aims the full can at the dumpster} Too
many calories.
{CUT to RAVEN and SHAWN}
Shawn> Dude, that was good idea.
Raven> Yep, {Steps up by the dumpster} sometimes my best ideas just
smack me in the forehead. {The can smacks him in the forehead and he
falls down.}
Shawn> Dude, maybe that wasn't such a good idea. [The GIRLS are RUNNING
away}
{CUT to the FOOTBALL FIELD and SHOW RAVEN and SHAWN on the bleachers.
RAVEN has a BANDAGE on his FOREHEAD. SCAN to the CHEERLEADERS STRETCHING
on the GRASS. BROOKE LOGAN comes WALKING up looking like a SNOB}
Brooke Logan> well, well, well. I guess we have some new try outs here
today. {The A SQUAD is following behind her and they line up in a
straight line. She looks at all the newbys and sees her sister.} I am so
proud. My little sister Angie has just decide to try out for the A
SQUAD. {She sees Nikki} And her friend Nikki. {She smiles then goes
solemn} LINE UP, NOW! {They all get into a sloppy line. Brooke walks up
and down the line putting number tags on all of them.} Okay, now these
are your numbers. I will be calling you by these numbers because as of
now and for the next 4 hours...you have no name. I am your creator now.
I decide if you become a legend...or a loser. Now, I wanna see what you
can do so stretch some more.
{CUT and OPEN at the BLEACHERS}
Shawn> Are you okay, man?
Raven> {Nods} Yeah, I'll be fine in a while. I didn't even have a bump.
I put ice on it so...He takes the bandage off and they watch the
cheerleaders getting ready for tryouts.} I'm fine. I'm going to the very
top so I can see better. {They get up and head to the top of the
bleachers.}
{CUT and OPEN with the CHEERLEADERS}
Brooke> Everyone line up. {Points to the girls and cuts them from
tryouts} 1, 5, and 9, you will not be on my squad. Maybe next year. I
don't like your hair style. Need to be more original, Hun. Like me...my
advice to you is be more like me. {Turns to the group.} Okay, now we're
gonna see what you can do. I want a round off. {Out of the group of 7,
only 5 did a perfect round off and the other two were cut from the
team.} Okay, now I wanna see dancing and cheering and...aww, who am I
kidding. I wanna see how you would turn the guys on! GO!
{PLAY "POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME" by DEF LEP is playing in the B.G. while
the CHEERLEADERS freak dance. SONG FADES and the CHEERLEADERS are HOT
and SWEATY from the WORKOUT. BROOKE WALKS across the GRASS and STOPS in
FRONT of the NEW GROUP consisting of Angela, NICOLE, SYDNEY, KAYLA, and
ANOTHER GIRL}
Brooke> Okay, I have made my decision on who the last three girls will
be. 4 and 7, get the hell out of dodge! I can't stand to look at you.
The remaining girls will be 2, 3, and 8. You were the best and I like
how you look. {She notices that her sister is looking at her in awe}
But now that we are alone, you have one more test to perform. Angela
Logan!
Angela> Yes? {Steps up a step}
Brooke> And Nicole Timmers!
Nicole> {Steps up} Right here.
Brooke> I have two annoyances that I was gonna get ride of myself...{She
points to RAVEN and SHAWN in the bleachers} ,but I want you go out with
them as A SQUAD cheerleaders for two weeks and then break up with them
in front of everyone in the cafeteria. Is that understood.
Angela> {Shakes her head} I understand.
Nicole> Okay. That's it? No problem...{Looks at Angela and whispers} You
pelted him with a full soda can!
Angela> {Whispers back} I know. I guess he'll be yours. {Nicole smiles}
{CUT and OPEN in the BLEACHERS}
Raven> My ass fell asleep, dude. {He stands up}
Shawn> Are you sure your head's alright? {Raven nods}
{CUT and OPEN on the FIELD}
Sydney> What do I have to do?
Brooke> I want you to do a high kick...{Smiles} and then lose your
virginity by two weeks from tomorrow.
Sydney> {Smiles} Okay. {She does a high kick and cheer and her shoe
flies off}
{CUT and OPEN on the BLEACHERS where RAVEN is STANDING and A SHOE HITS
his FOREHEAD and he FALLS DOWN THE BLEACHER STEPS. CUT and OPEN at the
HOUSE}
{Twizzler is walking around the house and comes upon the dog. He smiles
and goes down to pet the dog. He walks to the table and opens a bag of
Twizzlers pull n' peel and then he walks to the door.}
{CUT and OPEN outside the DOOR}
Raven> Dude, why are there 4 of you?
Shawn> Shut up, Rave! You hit your head pretty hard....multiple times.
{He puts the key in and turns it and the handle.}
{CUT to INSIDE the HOUSE}
{The door flies open and Pins Twizzler between the wall and the door.
Hear Twizzler say "UGH!"}
Raven> I'm fine. I just need to put some ice on my head and everything
will be cool. {He looks at the empty cabinets} I also need a job.
Shawn> Why? You're mom pays for everything. Besides, we've been eating
fast food for the past two months.
Raven> {Looks around} Where's Twizzler? {Shawn shuts the door and walks
away. Twizzler falls out from behind the door with a goofy expression on
his face. He falls face down on the floor.} Let's look for him.
{CUT and OPEN in the LIVING ROOM}
[SHAWN, TWIZZLER, and RAVEN are watching TV.]
Raven> I don't get it, dude. Why is it that there are all these guys and
1 female, but yet they have so many little kids.
Shawn> It looks like their parents all drank Windex and then went to an
orgy!
Raven> They look like they are either wearing diapers or towels on there
heads.
Shawn> Yeah, dude, Smurfs are gay!
Raven> No, dude, C-3PO is gay.
Shawn> Damnit! RAVEN! HE'S BRITISH!
{Twizzler stands up and looks at Shawn and starts the spank dance and
spells out C-3PO in sign language.}
Shawn> HE IS NOT! SHUT UP Twizzler! {He throws the remote and hits
Twizzler in a (very bad) spot. Twizzler falls over holding himself.}
Raven> DUDE, YOU HIT HIM IN THE....THAT'S NOT RIGHT, YO!
Shawn> Scooby-Doo is on.
Raven> OOOOOOO! Hit the clicker!
{CUT and OPEN at Angela's HOUSE}
Angela> {Walks into the house with Nicole} I can't believe that she gave
us that assignment. This is gonna be a piece of cake.
Nicole> I don't know, Brooke was being a tad mean don't you think? I
don't think it's right to be like this towards people that did nothing
to deserve it.
Angela> If Brooke said they deserve it then they deserve it.
Nicole> {{Gets out some water} She thinks that the sun should be
destroyed for giving her a sun burn! {Takes a drink}
Angela> Maybe, but still...{She takes off her shoes} it's an easy
assignment.
Nicole> I don't think that it's right to do!
Angela> They are stupid slackers who don't even amount to Spam on the
popularity scale. {She slams her hands to her mouth.} Did I just say
that?
Nicole> {Nods} You sounded just like Brooke!
Angela> DAMN!
[Show Brooke listening and shaking her head. She walks out and grabs her
car keys]
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Raven> {Walks into his room and passes a black kid sitting on his bed.
He shakes his head and grabs a shirt from his closet. He takes his shirt
off and changes into the new one. He walks into the living room}
Doctor's here.
Shawn> What's Doc doin' here?
Raven> I'm not sure. I went to get my shirt and he was sitting on my
bed.
Shawn> Don't we have this conversation every time he comes over?
Raven> I think so, but he always waits for me to find him in my room
when I go in to get something. {He comes in}
Murphy Dell> Sup ya'll? I jus came from da hizouse and thought I'd drop
by yo crib to see what da four-one-one waz on da shiznit goin' down at
skizoul.
{CUT and OPEN at RONNIES}
Shawn> Doctor is the guy that grew up in west side St. Louis and thinks
he's hard and scares the crap out of everyone.
Raven> We call him Doctor because his name is Murphy Dell, but everyone
calls him M.D. so an M.D. is a doctor and do we call him Doctor.
Shawn> Okay, dude, let's like get back to the movie cuz, they aren't
watchin' us to talk. They want us to show the film, yo.
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Raven> {Gets nervous} What shiznit at skizoul? What the hell is a
shiznit and where the hell is Skizoul?
Shawn> {Him and Twizzler shrug} I wanna know where da hizouse is? {All
three shrug}
Murphy> You foos are crackers.
Raven> Crackers? {Twizzler licks his lips and rubs his tummy} Doc, I
hardly think I look like a salted hardened piece of bread.
Shawn> That does sound good though.
Raven> I know. I'm hungry.
Shawn> Me too. How about that?
Raven> Do we have any crackers?
Shawn> I don't...
Murphy> You guys are hopeless. I meant that Nicole Timmers and Angela
Logan are gonna ask you guys out and the phone should ring right
about...{Points and the phone rings.}
Raven> [Looks into the camera] That was freaky, dude. [Shawn looks into
the camera behind him and starts singing dun-dun-dun.] How did you do
that?
Murphy> Skillz. And besides that, it's a movie and if you ain't gonna be
pimpin' I sure as hell am...[Looks into the camera] Which reminds
me...[The Number 555-8103 flashes the whole time] Ladies, my name is
Murphy Dell , but most people call me M.D. because I wanna play doctor
wit you, so call me at 555-8103 and...
Raven> What are you doin'?
Shawn> Answer the phone!
Raven> Oh yeah! {He answers the phone} Hello?
Nicole> What do you think of dating?
Raven> I think it's a good way to keep your food fresh.
Nicole> No, I meant how would you like to go on a date with me?
Shawn> Rave, Star Wars is on!
Raven> Bye! {He hangs up and runs to jump on the couch}
Murphy> I hate Star Wars.
Raven> What? Why?
Murphy> C-3PO is a gay, man. He's a flamer dog.
Shawn> C-3PO is not...not...not...
Murphy> Gay? Yeah, he is.
Shawn> NO HE'S NOT! HE'S BRITISH! {Twizzler starts laughing and Shawn
looks over at him} Shut up.
{CUT and OPEN at RONNIES}
Girl> What's up guys, you're lookin' good tonight, baby.
Shawn and Raven> SUP!
Raven> {Sees the camera} Crap, Shawn! {Shawn looks} Okay, well you're
now about to meet a couple guys who make out lives a living hell.
Shawn> Yeah, {Music is heard in the back ground and Raven starts dancing
behind him} These guys names are Lukas and Steven. They are major pains
in our...{Sees Raven dancing} RAVEN! Pay attention!
Raven> {Stops} Oh, sorry. Yeah, dude, these guys suck.
{CUT and OPEN in the GYM}
Lukas Fisher> {Lifting weights} I don't know why Brooke said she
wouldn't go out with me. She wouldn't say why?
Steven Pulse> She said she wouldn't because you are so stupid that if
someone said it was chili outside you would go get a bowl.
Lukas> Stomper, come on, man. Do I look that stupid? {Steven shakes his
head} I would go get hot dogs, man.
Steven> Luke!
Lukas> Chili dogs rock! {Shakes his head and sits up} Anyway, I would
do anything for a date with her.
Brooke> Really?
Lukas> {Spins around} Brooke!
Brooke> I really hope you meant that.
Lukas> Why?
Brooke> Cuz I need your help. I have a problem with two slacker jerks
and I need you to take care of them.
Lukas> Why should I help you?
Brooke> Cuz, {Makes her voice flirtatious} If you're a good dog then you
might get a treat. {He shakes his head}
Steven> Good for you, man. Stand your ground.
Brooke> Shut up! {Looks at Lukas} Lukas, I know you want to date me.
Quarterback and head cheerleader is the perfect couple and I think that
it would be a good idea for you to do this. {He thinks} Here, let me
help you make up your mind. {She gets down and whispers in his ear and
he smiles and shakes his head.} I just need you to do that and then you
get what I have.
Lukas> Okay. {She leaves}
Steven> Did she offer you a date.
Lukas> better.
Steven> Kiss?
Lukas> better.
Steven> Sex?
Lukas> better.
Steven> What?
Lukas> Chilidogs!
{CUT and OPEN at RONNIES}
Raven> Sorry for the brief interruption, but I had to let you know that
we did get another call from Nikki and Angie to go on a date and we were
meeting them at Ronnies. We aren't going to show it because I was naked
when I answered the phone so. This next scene is what happened at our
date.
{CUT and OPEN in FRONT of RONNIES}
Shawn> {Looking around.} Man, hurry up! They're gonna be here anytime
now! {He looks impatient} Raven, it doesn't take anyone this long to
pee. {He starts to walk around the corner and runs into Samantha again}
Hello...again? Are you following me?
Samantha> Me? No. I was here to see a movie, but I don't know which one
to see.
Shawn> {Smiles} How about Star Wars Episode II?
Samantha> I love Star Wars! C-3PO is so cute as a gay droid.
Shawn> He's not gay. He's British.
Samantha> Exactly, so are you waiting for someone or...
Shawn> Me, oh yeah. I'm waiting for Raven to get out of the men's room
cuz we have a date...I mean, like not with each other, we just live
together and that didn't come out...the way I...He's my boyfriend...I
mean...{She looks at him like he's gone crazy} Hold on. {He takes a deep
breath} I am waiting here with my room mate, Raven, who is in the
bathroom, for our dates for this lovely evening, but if it's okay, I
would love to take a rain check.
Samantha> That's quite alright, and I would enjoy that immensely, Thank
you. {She walks off}
Raven> Who the hell talks like that? [Mocking them both] If it's okay, I
would LOVE to take a rain check...I would enjoy that immensely. P-lease.
Shawn> Shut up. She somehow, keeps running into me. I don't know how,
but at least once a day. {They see the girls.} There they are.
Raven> {Looks at Angela} Wow, do I know you from somewhere besides
school. I feel like I have you imprinted in my forehead. {He shakes his
head} For the life of me, I can't think of it. Hey let's go inside and
get a few Pepsi's, huh. {He holds the door as they go inside.} STAR
WARS! WHOOO!
{CUT and OPEN as Angela, NICOLE, RAVEN, and SHAWN come out of RONNIES
holding HANDS}
Raven> So how did you like the movie, Nikki?
Nicole> It was the same as all of them. C-3PO has the wires burning for
R2-D2.
Shawn> Why do you say that?
Nicole> Because he's gay.
Shawn> HE'S...NOT...GAY...HE'S...BRIT-...ISH!
Raven> Wanna go to the park with food?
Shawn> Sounds nice. {The turn to look at the girls and they agree.}
{CUT and OPEN in the PARK}
Raven> It's a nice night isn't it?
Nicole> Yeah, but it's getting cold. I'm freezing.
Raven> Here. {He takes his jacket off and puts it on her shoulders.} I
don't need it. I'm doing just fine.
Nicole> {Blinks her eyes as she stares at him} That was...uh...really
sweet.
Raven> No...well...I guess it...I'm hot and you were cold and...
Nicole> {Leans in and kisses his cheek} It was nice.
[SCAN over to Angela and SHAWN]
Shawn> I'm chili.
Angela> Wow. I'm hot. Here...{She gives him her girls jacket}
Shawn> Thanks. {He leans in and kisses her cheek} I like you, Angie.
Angela> {Rolls her eyes} I like you too Shawn. {She kisses him on the
lips and he kisses back. They lay down on the bench}
{CUT and OPEN in the CAR}
Murphy> {Looking through binoculars with Twizzler} Damn. He got it goin'
on over there. Wax that ghetto...{Twizzler taps him and points to them.
He looks through them again}
{CUT and OPEN at the PARK again}
Nicole> Angie, can I talk to you in private please?
Angela> Nikki! Can't you see I'm busy?
Nicole> Please? {She gets up and walks over to Angela's table.}
Angela> Fine. {She gets up and then stops and looks at Shawn.} Gum? {She
holds out her hand.}
Shawn> Oh! Sorry. {He takes the gum out of his mouth and hands it to
her. She puts it in her mouth and walks away.}
{CUT and OPEN in the BATHROOM}
Angela> What do you want?
Nicole> Raven is a really sweet guy and I really like him. I don't want
to screw this up.
Angela> {Rolls her eyes} Then don't. Do what you have to do to get in
and then apologize or just...GET OVER IT!
{CUT and OPEN in the PARK}
Nicole> {Goes over to her table} You wanna go for a walk?
Raven> Sure. {He gets up and she kisses him on the lips.} Woah. That was
uh...my first...
Nicole> Really? Wow, uh...{Smiles} Let's go.
Shawn> Have fun! {Angela pushes him back down on the table}
{CUT and OPEN in the CAR}
Murphy> Now, that's the shiznit! {He turns on the radio}
[Hear "Bitter Sweet Symphony" by THE NERVE in the back ground and
TWIZZLER and MURPHY start doing the same dance. "THE SNAKE". The whole
time the song plays show RAVEN and NICOLE walking and Laughing. Also in
the mix show SHAWN and Angela kissing on the table]
{CUT and OPEN at NICOLE's HOUSE}
Raven> I had a great time tonight.
Nicole> Me too,...actually.
Raven> So can I see you again?
Nicole> I'll stop by your house tomorrow.
Raven> Okay. {He leans in and kisses her and she grabs him and kisses
hard. He starts struggling and squirming until she lets go and backs
off.}
Nicole> Well...{She smiles} Good night. {She goes in and shuts the door.
He stands there dazed and then smiles and falls down.}
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Shawn> {Sitting on the couch when Raven comes down the stairs} Dude,
what happened to you? {Raven smiles}
Murphy> {Comes in eating a banana} Raven, now you ain't no wimp, you
gradgeaded to da masta pimp. {Slaps Raven's Back.} Good job. {Grabs a
towel from the closet as Raven sits down on the couch} By the way I'm
staying here tonight. Where's da soap on a rope, boy. {He laughs and
leaves the room}
Raven> Did you invite him to stay the night here?
Shawn> No, I thought you did.
Raven> Hun uh. You wanna tell him?
Shawn> No, do you?
Raven> Not really.
Shawn> So what do we do?
Raven> Cartoons?
Shawn> Sweet. {Clicks on the TV. and they point and laugh}
{CUT and OPEN in RAVEN's HOUSE-MORNING}
{Twizzler walks in and turns on the TV. He gets up and walks into the
kitchen. He fixes a bowl of cereal and walks back into the living room.
He sits down and starts eating. He looks over at the couch and does a
double take.}
Murphy> {Walks in} Hey Twiz. What's...{Twizzler points at the couch and
Murphy sees what he sees. Raven and Shawn are asleep and kind of
cuddling} Man, those crackers are messed up. {Twizzler licks his lips
and rubs his stomach.} I didn't mean it that way! Let's go before they
wake up and we won't mention this again. {They leave and someone knocks
on the front door.}
Shawn> {Wakes up at the same time Raven does and they see the way they
were laying. They scream} Why were you on me?
Raven> I was on the bottom. You were the one on top of me!
Shawn> Were you enjoying it?
Raven> Well, you were cold, but comfortable and I do enjoy the bottom
once in awhile when...{Shakes his head} Get the door! {They get up and
answer the door. Nicole is standing there.}
Nicole> Hey, did I interrupt something?
Shawn> NO!
Raven> Nope, just two heterosexual males sleeping in a heterosexual way
in two completely different heterosexual beds in two completely
different heterosexual rooms. {Smiles nervously} I mean...won't you come
in?
Nicole> {Steps inside} Sure..thanks. Uh...Shawn, Angie is at the park.
She told me to tell you to meet her there.
Shawn> Okay. I guess I'm gonna get dressed then. {He looks down and
notices that he is completely dressed} Never mind. {He leaves}
Raven> So, what's up?
Nicole> Raven, I want to apologize for last night. That kiss...
Raven> Didn't mean anything? I thought so. I was wrong to get my hopes
up and then...
Nicole> It meant everything! {He looks at her} The kiss meant everything
to me. Here. {She grabs his hand and puts it to her chest}
Raven> On your boob?
Nicole> No, silly. In my heart. Look, I want to explain something to
you. I was with someone about a year ago and I thought that I would love
them for a long time, but I was wrong. He turned out to be a jerk and he
took more then I could regain. Since then you were the first guy to be
at least half way decent. Do you understand.
Raven> Yeah, I do, but Nikki, he is gone and I am here now. {He moves in
to kiss her.}
Murphy (From other room)> Twizzler, No! {A shoe flies out and hits Raven
in the head}
Raven> {Turns around} Twizzler! We don't throw shoes! {A magazine flies
at his feet.} You throw baseballs, not magazines. {Turns to Nikki}
Teenagers. {Chuckles and leans in again, but a baseball smacks his
head.} Smart ass {He falls down}
{CUT and OPEN at the OPENING to the PARK}
Shawn> {Turns the corner and runs into someone knocking them both down}
Crap! Are you okay. {He gets up and sees Samantha} Hey.
Samantha> Hi. I'm kinda glad I ran into you today. I was wondering if
you would like to go get coffee sometime?
Shawn> Oh, well, see I would, but...
Samantha> Oh...well, I understand. {She turns to leave}
Shawn> No, I meant can I meet you at Steak N' Shake later on?
Samantha> Sure, how's 5:00 tonight?
Shawn> No good. Can it be tomorrow. I kind of have a double date tonight
with a friend.
Samantha> Sure. I will...uh...hold on. {She pulls out a piece of paper
and a pen and writes. She hands it to him} Call me tomorrow and we'll
make plans. {He nods} Okay, well, I'll...uh...see ya, I guess. {She
walks away}
Shawn> Definitely! {CUT and OPEN in a CAR}Lukas> Brooke said they would
be at the park today.Steven> Luke, chill out, man. There's one of them
now! {They both get out of the car}Lukas> Hey, punk! {Shawn looks at
him} I'm here to kill you, and if you have any objections...speak now or
forever hold your piece.Shawn> I have to meet someone now, can it wait
until Monday?Lukas> Well, gee, since you put it like that I guess I
could go to the cleaners now and then watch some TV., take a nap and be
ready by Monday to...HEY! {Shawn takes off running and they follow him.
He runs all the way back home and the door is locked so he starts
banging on it.}{CUT and OPEN inside the HOUSE}Raven> Hold on! {He holds
his head and gets up slowly and slowly makes his way across the
room.}{CUT and OPEN OUTSIDE of the HOUSE}Shawn> Open up! {Lukas comes
running at him with his fist high} {CUT and OPEN INSIDE the HOUSE}Raven>
I'm coming! {He starts to unlock the lock}{CUT and OPEN OUTSIDE the
HOUSE}Shawn> RAVEN! OPEN THE MOTHER...{He ducks as the door opens and
Lukas punches Raven in the face and he falls. Lukas grabs him by his
hair and throws him into the wall. He then kicks him in the face.} Wait
a minute! {He gets up and punches Lukas, but it doesn't phase him} Crap!
{Lukas punches him and he falls to the ground}Lukas> Let this be a
lesson to you both. Don't...Murphy> {Pushes him back} Don't what?
{Twizzler comes out with Twizzlers in his hands}Lukas> RUN STEVEN! HE'LL
USE THE TWIZZLERS AS NUMCHUNKS!Steven> It's Nun-chucks, you
morooooooooooooooooon! {Lukas grabs him and runs away carrying
him}Murphy> Tight. {Gives Twizzler a ghetto shake} Now you a player,
boy! Now you think you bad ass, don't ya, Foo? You are. You are. Nicole>
{Runs out of the bathroom} What happened? {She sees Raven with a bloody
nose and mouth and Shawn with a bloody lip} What the hell
happened?Shawn> Lukas Fisher.Nicole> BROOKE!{CUT and OPEN in Angela's
HOUSE}Brooke> {On the phone} So you took care of them? I don't care if
they almost kicked your ass with...numchunks! Whatever the hell that is.
Did you make them bleed? {Nicole comes into the kitchen} I have to go.
You'll get it. Thanks. {She hangs up the phone and then looks at Nicole
in a snobby way} If it isn't my little wannabe prep! What do you
want?Nicole> I wanna know why you would call on an idiot like Lukas
Fisher to beat the crap out of Raven and Shawn when me and your sister
have it perfectly under control!Brooke> There are two reasons. One, I
knew that you used to date Luke about a year ago and I knew that it
would show you that I mean business. Two, I know Luke really likes me
and probably would do anything I asked him to and since he's big,
strong, and pathetic I went to him. {She fixes her hair} Besides, Angie
came to me and told me that you told her last night at the park that you
were having second thoughts about going through with this whole thing so
I had to make you see what would happen to "RAVEN" if you didn't follow
through with your mission.Nicole> You bitch! {She steps towards her and
then stops.} This is crap and you know it. {She turns around and walks
out. She goes upstairs and throws open the door to Angela's room. She
slams it} Why did you send me up to get Shawn?Angela> {Laying on her
bed. She puts her magazine back} What do you mean. You didn't get him
cuz he never showed.Nicole> Don't play dumb with me, Angela. I know you
went to Brooke about me. She told me.Angela> Yeah! So what! I went to my
sister for help cuz my best friend didn't think she was gonna be able to
seal the deal.Nicole> I said that I didn't think that this was right. I
never said a damn thing about quitting!Angela> {Stands up} Well, I'm
sorry. I got worried. Since we were in Kindergarten and the kids made
fun of us we made a vow to find a way to be the most popular. Now that
we have a chance you wanna back out of it.Nicole> So you set them up
with Brooke to be ambushed and beat up by Luke Fisher?Angela> Logan
family motto. Stop at nothing to get what you want. I want US to be
popular.Brooke> {Standing in the doorway} To get that you have to do
what I say when I say it. Understand? {Nicole bows out and nods} Good,
now go back over there and I want you to turn the guys against each
other. I want you to make them want to be with you and like you. GO!
{They both get up and walk past her, but Nicole flips her off} No
thanks. {Licks her lips and walks away}{CUT and OPEN at STEAK N'
SHAKE}Shawn> I think somethin's up with them. I mean, think about it.
Barely anyone likes us and yet we are with these popular chicks...from
the A SQUAD. I think it's a little weird.Raven> I don't know, man. What
would they gain from it?Shawn> Maybe you're right. Maybe it's in my
head.Kayla> I'm not so sure, but I think...{The girls walk in} I better
go?Murphy> Why? I think we should stay. I think we should help them if
they need it. I think...{She winks at him} I should get the hell outta
here. LATEVA! {She takes his hand and they walk out.}{Twizzler gets up
and they look at him. He makes motions of drinking out of a glass and
then rubs his fingers together. Shawn hands him some cash and he leaves}
Raven> Hey, Nikki. {Nicole smiles and sits} I was gonna ask you a
question yesterday, but I was rudely hit in the head with a baseball.
{Twizzler shrugs} Anyway, would you like to be my girlfriend?Shawn> I
was gonna ask Angela that! Why did you steal my thunder?Raven> I didn't
mean to.Shawn> You do this all the time and I don't like it, dude.Raven>
Why don't you just ask her now?Shawn> Then I look like a follower when I
wanna be a leader.Raven> If you wanna be a leader dude, then join the
Army! Right now ask her and quit your B.S.! {The girls look at each
other weird}Shawn> You join the Army you lazy...Raven> You wanna make
somethin' out of it!Shawn> Yeah, punk, maybe I do!Raven and Shawn> {Same
time} BRING IT ON! {They start laughing}Raven> Jinx, dude. {Twizzler
gets up and heads towards the bathroom}{CUT and OPEN in the BATHROOM
HALLWAY}{Twizzler looks at both doors and smiles before heading into the
girls bathroom}Shawn> {Snaps his fingers} Damn. I thought I had you. I
can't believe I screwed up. Anyway. Angela, I want you to be my
girlfriend, too.Angela> This is just our second date so I'm gonna have
to think ab...Nicole> Sure I will, Raven. I think that was a great idea.
{Angela looks at her and gestures towards the bathroom} Be right back.
{Kisses him on the cheek and they get up}
Raven> Dude! I kick ass!
{CUT and OPEN inside the GIRLS BATHROOM}
Angela> What are you doing? We don't want to actually date these losers.
Shawn is an idiot.
Nicole> Look, weather or not I believe this is right or not, I am your
best friend and I'm the smarter of the two of us, so trust me on this
when I say, that if we do this then we will get on their good side
faster. They both dress like preps already so all we need to do
is...{Thinks} Instead of making them hate each other...let's make them
popular and then ruin it all when we dump them. Get them into the "IN"
crowd.
Angela> See, there's my best friend. I knew you had it in you. {She hugs
her and then leaves. Nicole's smile fades and she glares at Angela and
then looks into the mirror}
Nicole> You are going down, Angela, and I'm not gonna let you take them
with you. {She looks at herself in the mirror} What have you become?
{She walks out, too.}
{Twizzler peeks out of the top of a stall and looks sad. He slips and
falls and you hear a splash and then a toilet flush. Camera shakes and
Twizzler comes out of the stall all wet.}
{CUT and OPEN in FRONT of RONNIES}
Shawn> I know, I know. It's pretty sad that all this can happen to guys
who mind their own business, but it does. Twizzler heard them in the
bathroom, the problem was if we would believe him, but first let's jump
to about three days later...
Raven> Shawn, I think you might want to fill them in on The RUN IN GURL.
Shawn> I don't need to fill them in...you do it while I take a break.
Raven> Okay, he missed RUN IN GURL by like two minutes and she didn't
seem to bump into him anywhere for two days. Until the day when we pick
up the pace. It was Wednesday when he finally ran into her again...
{CUT and OPEN on LINDBERGH BLVD.}
Shawn> {Walking up the road He walks behind the store and then turns
around and runs into RUN IN GURL} Holy sh...
Samantha> Wait! Don't say that! Let me explain the reason why I was
late. I meant to be there, but my dog got, like, so totally sick and I
had to take him to the vet!
Shawn> Well, that's cool I guess...as long as you didn't leave me! {He
walks with her} I have to go to the store and then to Walgreen's if you
wanna come with me...we can talk.
Samantha> {Nods} Okay. I guess that's cool, too.
Shawn> {Looking at her face} You have really pretty eyes.
Samantha> Thanks. {He stares at her and is almost hit by a car} SHAWN!
Shawn> Woa! That was close. {He wipes his head and spins around quickly,
hitting his head on a pipe and falling down hard} UGH!
{Show them hanging out and Shawn falling over things and getting hit
with objects while "First Date" by BLINK 182 plays in the back ground}
{CUT and OPEN at SAMANTHA's HOUSE}
Shawn> I had a good time this afternoon. I mean the fact that I probably
have 45 concussions only made the day more memorable, if I can remember
it in the morning anyway. {He rubs his head} Wait a minute...what was I
saying? {They both smile and she leans in and kisses him. He kisses back
for a moment and then pulls away.} Look, I'm seeing Angela. I can't do
this.
Samantha> Shawn, it's okay. Who do you like better?
Shawn> I don't know what I want nor who I want. I'm a teenager! I want
everything my way and that's it!
Samantha> But we don't get things our way! I'm not gonna make you choose
though because that would be unfair to you, so look my name up in the
phone book when you make your decision. {She turns and walks into the
house}
Shawn> How the hell did this happen? {He turns and goes to step down the
stairs, but trips and falls down} [O.S.] GREAT! NOW I BLEED!
{CUT and OPEN at RONNIES}
Raven> We interrupt this movie to bring you an educational message. [The
words "EDUCATIONAL MESSAGE" appears on the screen.] If you fall down
then you are bound to bleed.
Shawn> Shut up, Raven. {He pushes Raven and he falls down. Raven gets
back up and has blood on his lip} Wow. You were right.
Raven> This just in. Pissing your best friend off is hazardous to your
health.
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Nicole> Okay. {She looks at Raven who is sitting in a chair.} I think
you would look better with tight T-Shirts instead of loose ones.
Raven> If you say so.
Nicole> Yes, I do. {She leans in and kisses him on the lips.} I do say
so.
Shawn> {Runs into the room} Raven, I thought of the funniest word,
dude....Britches. {He laughs}
Raven> Shawn, that's not funny. Gum. Now that's a funny word.
Shawn> Not really. I guess maybe the issue of what gum looks like when
you get it stuck in your hair is funny, but not the word.
Raven> You have a point there. What about finger?
Shawn> No, what about lips? {Raven shakes his head} Yeah, not too funny.
Nicole> Stick out your tongue for...{Raven and Shawn bust up laughing}
What?
Shawn> That IS funny.
Raven> Sweetie...Sweetie...you are a genius! Tongue!
Shawn> Why didn't I think of that one?
{CUT and OPEN at Angela's HOUSE}
Angela> {On the phone} No, uh...we'll go over there today and we are
going to change them now...Don't give them a reason, just say that it's
for the best and that will be that. Okay.
{CUT and OPEN at Raven's House}
Nicole> Come on guys. It can't be that bad.
Shawn> I feel like I'm betraying my ward robe!
Angela> {Whispers} What ward robe? The guy owns 7 pairs of boxers, 2
pairs of pants, 3 shirts, and 21 mixed matched pairs of socks, all
different colors! {Nicole smiles}
Raven> I like the way these tight shirts feel. I'm going out. {Nicole
looks at Angela who just smiles and Raven comes out pulling Shawn.} Here
I am, baby, love me or leave me. {He laughs}
Angela> They look great! {She looks at them} You guys look great. A few
more outfits and then we can move on to speech.
Shawn> What's wrong with the way I speech. I got an edjamacation. I
speech just fine and I do not sound like an alcamaholicable!
Angela> More work then I expected.
Nicole> Look, we want you to be perfect for School on Monday, which
means we have 2 days to get you ready. {She looks at Angela who puts her
headphones on and turns up the volume}
[Show them getting changing into different things and then show them
learning how to speak the way the girls want and add in your own
physical comedy while "Two Princes" by THE SPIN DOCTORS plays in the
B.G. The song fades]
{CUT and OPEN in a CROWDED HALLWAY at SCHOOL. The A SQUAD comes WALKING
around the CORNER with BROOKE LEADING and the THREE new CHEERLEADERS and
RAVEN and SHAWN. They walk past EVERYONE and EVERYONE LOOKS at them}
Brooke> {Stops and so does the group. She looks around and smiles} I own
this place now. {She keeps walking and they all follow}
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's LOCKER}
Raven> {Getting stuff out when a girl comes up to him} Gonna be late.
{He shuts his locker and sees the girl} Oh! Hi.
Girl> Hi. Raven, right?
Raven> Yeah, and you might be?
Girl> I am whoever you want me to be. {She leans in and whispers in his
ear} I never noticed this before, but you're a very good looking guy. I
think you should meet me after school today and we can go to my house.
Raven> Oh...uh...sorry, see, I have a girlfriend and she's the most
amazing girl that you would ever meet, but she wouldn't agree with me if
I told her that I was going to some girls house, whom I don't even know,
and staying with her for God only knows what for.
Girl> She doesn't have to know about it.
Raven> I would have to tell her. I'm sorry, but "No."
Girl> {Looks disappointed and walks behind the corner and winks at
Nicole who smiles} He's all yours.
Nicole> Thanks. {Walks around the corner and is going up behind Raven.}
Raven> Oh crap! My English book! {He stands up and opens his locker hard
and hits Nicole in the face. He gets his book out and hears a thump. He
shuts the door and sees Nicole.} Oh! Nicole, I am so sorry! I Swear to
it!
Nicole> I know. Gimme your hand and help me up. {He extends his hand and
she pulls him down}
Raven> I thought you wanted help up?
Nicole> {Shakes her head} No, I just wanted you to be down here with me.
{He smiles and brushes her face. He leans down and kisses her and she
kisses back} I have something to tell you.
Raven> What's that?
Nicole> I think I'll tell you tonight when you take me out to dinner.
{She smiles and so does he}
{CUT and OPEN in the HALLWAY}
Shawn> {Walking with his head down and runs into someone and falls down.
He looks up to see Samantha} I'm sorry...{He gets up and helps her up
and then starts to walk away}
Samantha> Shawn. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I should have
understood that you have a girlfriend. I didn't mean to upset you.
Shawn> I know, but...you were right. I can't make up my mind and until I
do we shouldn't...
Samantha> But we could still be friends!
Shawn> I don't think so and I'm sorry. {He turns back and starts walking
away.}
Samantha> FINE! {She starts to walk away, but turns back} One day I hope
you figure out what was right to do here. Angie Logan is nothing but a
snob like her sister. And one day it'll hit you and I hope it hurts you
to know you made a bad decision! {She turns back and keeps walking}
Shawn> {Talking to himself} I hope it hits me, too. {A football hits him
in the head and he falls down}
Guy> {Runs up and picks up the ball} Incoming!
Shawn> Thanks, dude. {Passes out}
{CUT and OPEN at a LUNCH TABLE}
Raven> {Staring across the table} I don't know what to say. I really
don't.
Murphy> I know. It's like the guy is possessed.
Raven> I don't understand how the guy can even get away with stuff like
that. He doesn't really do anything to get attention.
[Camera pans out to show Twizzler making out with Sydney}
Murphy> When did he become so popular?
Raven> Wait a minute? {Looks at Murphy} You don't even go to this
school! What the hell are you doin' here?
Murphy> Oh! I came back to tell you that your mom called and said
something and then left a number I can't remember.
Raven> Oh...okay. {He watches Murphy get up and leave. He stands up and
walks over to the trash can to throw his tray away.}
Shawn> {Comes out the door} Hey! I got proof that C-3PO isn't gay.
Raven> What's that?
Shawn> Okay. In the movie Spaceballs, the female robot is supposed to be
C-3PO, right? Well, that just tells you that he's not gay and that they
meant for him to have a female counter-part.
Raven> Or they're saying that she is the inner female of C-3PO trying to
escape. Face it. He's gay!
Shawn> He's British.
Raven> Gay.
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Raven> {Comes in the door and holds it for Nicole} No one's here tonight
so I figured that after dinner we could come back here and we'd hang out
for a bit.
Nicole> Sounds fine to me. {She follows him downstairs where he turns on
the dim lights and plays music.} So, what's the deal with Shawn living
here?
Raven> Well, he hated it at home from what he says. I don't know his
parents so I wouldn't know why. They let him move out 2 years ago and
he's been living here since.
Nicole> {They sit on the couch} What does your mother do?
Raven> I have no clue. My mom is always gone and I really can't ever ask
her. She has had the same job for about 12 years so I've raised myself
since I was 5. That's when I met Shawn.
Nicole> She left you alone when you were 5?
Raven> Of course not. She left me with a baby sitter that slept all the
time. She died when I was 12 and I didn't know it til the next day. I
thought she was sleeping.
Nicole> Wow. That's pretty weird.
Raven> Maybe, I guess that my life has been pretty much boring until
recently. {She smiles as Raven gets up}
Nicole> What are you doing?
Raven> Dance with me. {He holds out his hand and she takes it. He pulls
her close}
[They start dancing to "I can't help falling in love with you" by ELVIS]
Nicole> Wow, you can dance great.
Raven> Thanks. That was actually one thing my mom did teach me. Plus,
that movie dirty dancing helped.
Nicole> {Laughs} I guess that would help a little bit. {She leans closer
to him} You're not like anyone I've ever met before. You don't care what
people think of you and you have no worries about anything.
Raven> Actually, it's quite easy. I don't understand why people worry
about things that are so trivial. {She laughs again}
Nicole> This song fits perfectly to what I'm feeling right now.
Raven> Really? How so?
Nicole> That's what I wanted to tell you tonight, Raven. I'm falling in
love with you.
Raven> Me, too.
Nicole> Really?
Raven> {Leans in and whispers in her ear} Really. {He lifts her head up
and kisses her gently. Then they kiss again and then they really get
into it. They go back to the couch.}
{CUT and OPEN at STEAK N' SHAKE}
{Twizzler is making hand gestures at the table and then he looks across
at Shawn and Murphy}
Shawn> Are you sure?
Murphy> He's sure man. He heard them talkin' in da bafrum, coz.
Shawn> What were you doing in the girls bathroom? {Twizzler smiles} I
believe it. Angie hasn't been the nicest of people. I'll talk to Rave
about it tomorrow.
Murphy> So what do you guys want to do for the rest of the night?
Shawn> Wanna go to Steak N' Shake?
{Twizzler smacks himself in the head}
Murphy> Shawn, we at Steak N' Shake.
Shawn> {Looks around and smiles} Dude, that's an upside for us. {Murphy
and Twizzler look at each other and then nod in agreement.}
{CUT and OPEN at `Angela's HOUSE}
Angela> {On the phone} Pick up, Nikki! It's 3:30 in the damn morning.
You have to be home by now. We have school tomorrow for god sakes!
Brooke> {Comes into the kitchen} What are you still doing up?
Angela> Nikki went out with Raven tonight and she isn't home, yet.
Brooke> I think we are having problems with her. They are beginning to
piss me off. I think that I should take care of all of them at one time.
On Monday.
Angela> Count me in. I'm not even gonna tell Nikki.
Brooke> Good. I can take her down with them.
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Raven> {Wakes up and looks around the basement. There are clothes
everywhere} I'm late! {He looks at the clock and then flips it right
side up.} Oh good.
Shawn> {Comes downstairs and sees him awake} Raven, I just went to take
a shower and when I got there, you wouldn't believe what happened.
Raven> What?
Shawn> The door was locked and so I knocked thinking it was one of the
guys, but a weird voice came back to me. The voice of a female. A female
named NICOLE TIMMERS! You stayed the night with her! Where did she
sleep? What did you two do? WAIT! I don't wanna know.
Raven> Calm down, Shawn.
Shawn> Raven, I think we need to talk. Nicole...
Nicole> {Comes down the stairs in a robe} What?
Raven> Nuttin', Shawn was sayin' that we need to talk.
Shawn> It can wait til later. {He goes upstairs}
Nicole> {Walks upto Raven and kisses him} Get dressed, you're gonna be
late. {Throws a shirt at him}
{CUT and OPEN at the SCHOOL}
Angela> {Sitting on the stairs outside} You stayed the night with him
and now you and him are a real couple. {Shakes her head} You're even
wearing his shirt. What a chump girl you are.
Nicole> I'm in love with him.
Angela> What? Huh? I don't think I heard you right. You're sprung?
Nicole> So what if I am? {She smiles}
Angela> Oh no, You were with him all night.
Nicole> Yeah, and...
Angela> No...you were with him, with him? That's why your mind is ate
up.
Nicole> My mind is not ate up. My mind is fine. So what if I was "With
Him" {She walks passed her friend and turns to face her} Go stick your
head out a moving car. I think you need a refill! {She walks into the
building}
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
{Twizzler and Murphy are playing cards in the living room and watching
TV. Twizzler slaps the couch and Murphy deals him another card}
Murphy> Whatchya got? I got 20. {Twizzler lays his cards out and he's
got 21} Damn. Your deal. {Twizzler deals out the cards and then looks at
Murphy} Hit me. {Twizzler hauls off and punches Murphy in the face and
Murphy falls off the couch. Twizzler throws down a card. Murphy's hand
comes up and drops the cards down on the couch.} I got busted! {The door
opens as Murphy stands up and Raven's mom walks in and sees Murphy} Uh
oh.
Ms. Garrett> Take whatever you want, just don't hurt me. {She puts her
hands up} I'll give you whatever you want Mr. Black man.
Murphy> I'm not here to rob you. I'm a friend of Raven and Shawn.
They're at school. I didn't tie them up and murder them or anything.
This...{Points at Twizzler} is Twizzler. {Twizzler waves} He doesn't
speak. I'm Murphy Dell. You can call me M.D. or Murph. {He extends his
hand and she shakes it and sighs}
Ms. Garrett> Boy am I glad. I thought you were just some low life ni...
Murphy> Watch it Ms. Garrett. I do own a gun. {She makes a face and
walks into the other room whistling}
{Twizzler makes an impression of a female}
Murphy> I know. Can't live with them, can't live with out them...unless
you have spice channel. {Twizzler nods his head} Sweet. Turn it on.
Ms. Garrett (O.S.)> Don't you dare put my TV. on pornography!
Murphy> GUN!
Ms. Garrett (O.S.)> Can I get you a soda? Murphy and Twizzler look at
each other and smile. They nod to each other and then look back at the
TV.}
{CUT and OPEN at RONNIES}
Shawn> See, I'm not sure that all that romantic stuff happened and I
mean, come on. Can you blame me? It's Raven here.
Raven> Look. It happened how I told it, but the bigger issue was the
fact that Twizzler and Murphy were home with my mother. Now I don't know
how it all works, but it changed her. It changed her big time.
{CUT and OPEN OUTSIDE RAVEN's HOUSE}
Shawn> Raven? I wanna ask you a question?
Raven> What's that?
Shawn> {Stops him from opening the door} You are really in love with
Nikki aren't you?
Raven> Yeah, I am. I feel like me and her have a connection that I
thought I only had with you. {He thinks for a second} That didn't come
out the way I meant it, too.
Shawn> Raven, {Puts his hand on his shoulder} it's okay. I understand.
Raven> Don't touch me. {Shawn takes his hand back and shakes his head.}
I know you're happy for me, dude.
Shawn> It's not that, well it is, but...just don't be upset if it
doesn't work out is all I'm saying. {Raven nods} Good let's go.
Raven> {Opens the door} What brought all this on? You were acting gayer
then C-3PO. {He goes into the house}
Shawn> HE'S NOT GAY! HE'S BRITISH! {Goes into the house then sticks his
head back out the door} YOUR MOM'S HOME!
{CUT and OPEN in THE LIVING ROOM}
Raven> {They are both staring in awe} Mom? {Ms. Garrett, Murphy, and
Twizzler are watching BET and singing to P DIDDY on the radio}
Ms. Garrett> Oh, hey coz, how was yo day at skizoul? Where yo bitches
at, homie? I got da four-one-one on dose chickenheads ya'll been sprung
ova!
Shawn> Ms. Garrett? Is that you? {He looks at Murphy}
Murphy> How do you like you mama? Isn't she fly, pimps?
Raven> Stay away from my mom.
Murphy> But...
Raven> Shawn, call the police and get a restraining order on Doc. He
isn't to be within hearing distance of my mother.
Murphy> Now, she a coo hoe.
Raven> Did you just call my mom a hoe?
Murphy> I meant it in the nicest way.
Raven> {Smiles} Oh. Shawn, never mind the restraining order. {Murphy
relaxes} Call in a homicide. I'm gonna kill him. {He runs at him} He
broke in and it was self defense.
Shawn> Well, these are the suburbs!
{CUT and OPEN at NICOLE's HOUSE}
Nicole> {Doing her homework when there is the door bell} Hold on! {She
gets up and opens the door and Shawn is standing on her doorstep} Hey.
Shawn> Hi. May I come in. We have to talk about you and Raven. {She
motions for him to come in and he goes in and looks her in the eye}
Nikki, I know all about yours and Angela's plans to make us leave the
school.
Nicole> Oh my god. I'm so sorry, Shawn, I...
Shawn> Save it. I just wanna make it clear that you will not be hurting
Raven. You don't love him then you leave him.
Nicole> But I...
Shawn> NO! No excuses. I'll expect him to be single again by lunch time
tomorrow. We will be going back to our normal lives of no Cheerleader
wannabes.
Nicole> Just listen to...
Shawn> Nikki. I've said my peace and I'll expect it followed. Good bye.
{He walks out the door and she grabs him}
Nicole> Hold on Buster! {She pulls him inside}
{CUT and OPEN in NICOLE's DINING ROOM}
Shawn> So you are trying to help us? {She nods} Okay, so what am I
supposed to do?
Nicole> Act like you don't know anything and just support Raven.
Shawn> {Gets up and walks to the door} Okay, but I swear, if you hurt
him then you owe me big.
Nicole> I know you don't wanna see him sad.
Shawn> Yeah, that and the fact that the boy cries like a damn baby and I
don't wanna deal with him. He's loud.
Nicole> Okay. {He walks out the door backwards.} Watch...{He falls and
you hear a UGH!} your step. {She walks over and shuts the door
laughing.}
Shawn> {Looks in the window} I'm okay. {She gives a thumbs up and he
falls again and you hear an OW!} He landed in the rose bushes.
{CUT and OPEN at SCHOOL}
{Raven and Shawn are walking by a classroom talking and Samantha stares
as he walks by. She starts after them, but stops. She thinks about what
she is doing, shakes her head, and walks away in the other direction.}
{CUT and OPEN in the LUNCH ROOM}
Angela> {Happily walks up and taps Shawn on the shoulder. He turns
around and she kisses him} Hi.
Shawn> What do you want and why the hell are you so happy?
Angela> I have just been completely excepted into the A SQUAD and it was
all thanks to you.
Shawn> Did Nikki make it, too?
Angela> No. She's about to get cut. She failed on her mission.
Shawn> Which one. The one where she falls in love with my best friend
while you treat me like dirt or the one where you both seduce us and
then humiliate us to make us wanna leave school? {Angela has a look of
shock on his face} Alright. I would like to know if you still plan on
goin' through with it because if you are then I have something to say.
Angela> Listen you son of a...
Shawn> {Screaming} NO! You listen to me. We did nothing to you and your
stupid cheerleading squad. We decided that we were gonna be different
the you stupid girls. All you do is judge people and make them feel
worthless. I don't agree with it and if you want me out of this school
that bad, then you know what...you're shit out of luck, baby! {Everyone
starts clapping and Angela has her mouth opened. He walks out of the
lunch room and out of the building.}
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Ms. Garrett> Raven, I think I'm going out tonight and I probably won't
be home until really late.
Raven> Okay. Are you going out with friends from work?
Ms. Garrett> Word.
Murphy> {Sitting next to Raven} Word, Ms. Garrett. {She walks out the
door and Murphy hands Raven the phone} Call her.
{CUT and OPEN at NICOLE's HOUSE}
Nicole> {Phone rings and she answers it} Hello?...Hi, Sweetie. Oh,
Sweetie, I'm sorry. I can't do anything tonight. I have plans with my
parents...Okay...Love you, too. I'm sorry...Okay, baby, bye. {She hangs
up the phone}
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN'S HOUSE}
Raven> {Hangs up the phone} She's busy with her parents tonight. I guess
that means that we are doin' nothin'.
Murphy> No man, that means that we get to hang out all night, yo. That
means we be chillin' at da crib danite.
Raven> Cool. So what do you wanna do?
Shawn> {Walks in with Twizzler} Hey.
Murphy> What up, dog? What do you wanna do tonight? It's a guys night
out.
Raven> Sounds good to me.
Shawn> I was just listen to the radio and do some dancercize.
Murphy> Dancercize? What the hell is dat?
Shawn> We'll show you. Twiz has to pee, though
{CUT and OPEN in the BASEMENT}
Shawn> {Turns on the radio as a song ends} This is Dancercizing.
{"Spiderweb" by NO DOUBT comes on and they start dancing weird.}
Murphy> {Watches them for a minute and then shakes his head and stands
up} Stop! Just stop it. You crackers are idiots.
Raven> mmmmmmmm.
Murphy> I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT! Here. {He switches the music and the
song "Hey Ma" by CAM'RON comes on and he shows them some dancing. Then
Twizzler comes down and stares at them and then starts doing the same
dance}
Murphy> Damn. Go Twizzler. Go Twizzler. {Twizzler does the Tootsie Roll
and Murphy breaks out laughing.}
{CUT and OPEN at NICOLE's HOUSE}
Nicole> {Sitting in front of the TV with her parents and picks up the
phone. She dials a number and then hangs up} Never mind.
Mr. Timmers> Honey is there something wrong?
Nicole> No, I was just wondering what Raven's doing.
Mr. Garrett> Oh okay, sweetie. Watch this honey, this is where Shaggy
and Scooby have a bodily fluid release contest. {Nicole rolls her eyes
and her parents start cracking up}
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
[CAMERA is FOCUSED on the WALL and you see SMOKE while you ONLY HEAR the
guys VOICES]
Shawn> Give me a hit.
Murphy> Raven, give me some of that, yo.
Shawn> Hurry up, too. Are you gonna get in on this or what?
Raven> Hold up. It's on stems and there's seeds in it.
[CAMERA goes WIDE and you see MURPHY, TWIZZLER, and SHAWN playing
BLACKJACK while RAVEN is taking GRAPES off the stem while insence burns
on the table]
Raven> Here. {He hands the guys some grapes and they eat them.} Hay
Twiz! {Twizzler looks up but shakes his head and puts another Twizler in
his mouth} Oh.
{CUT and OPEN at RONNIES}
Raven> {Sitting on the curb} Okay, so I'm the one that is in the dark
about everything and everyone else in the room knows everything. Do any
one besides me think that that's messed up?
Shawn> No. {Looks into the camera} Girls, if your watching this then
please tell me, what do you wish you knew? What guys do when they're
alone, right? Here you go.
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Raven> {Sitting on the couch with a remote in his hand flipping
channels} You guys know what my biggest fear is?
Shawn> What?
Raven> What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about.
Murphy> That's scary. I wanna know how can a building burn up when it
burns down?
Shawn> Or if the police arrest a miame, do they still tell him that he
has the right to remain silent? {Twizzler shakes his head and then makes
a "W" with his fingers.} What?
Murphy> He said that they do in the "West Side" hood.
Shawn> Oh.
Raven> Hey! What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Murphy> I dunno, dog. How do "do not walk on the grass" signs get in the
grass?
Shawn> Why do we sterilize the needles for leathel injections?
Raven> What if life is just a movies that people were watching. {They
all looks at him and then in the camera and start laughing.} I almost
stayed serious.
{CUT and OPEN at NICOLE's HOUSE}
Nicole> {Sitting on her bed when Angela comes into the room} What do you
want?
Angela> I wanted to tell you that you were not picked for the team and
that you are now on Brooke's bad side.
[Show Raven outside the door with flowers. He stops and listens]
Nicole> So I'm not on the team so what? I don't want to be part of it.
Angela> Your goal was to be popular and the only way to do that was for
you to get rid of Raven and Shawn. I got a backfire, too when Shawn
found out.
Nicole> Are you threatening me?
Angela> Raven doesn't know that you not only used him to get popular,
but you were also going to ruin his career and friendship with Shawn
does he?
Nicole> No, he doesn't...
Raven> {Comes in} Yes I do.
Nicole> Raven, I...
Raven> Save it. {Throws the flowers on the bed} These were for my
girlfriend. When you see her tell her I said "Screw you" {He walks out}
Angela> {Smiles} You know, it's kinda strange that he's just about to
walk out of the house and straight into Luke and Steven.
Nicole> Bitch. {She slaps Angela and then runs out of the house after
Raven} Raven! {Raven turns around as Lukas comes out of the bushes and
he takes off running, but they don't chase him}
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Raven> {Comes into the house to find the guys in the living room} You
guys won't believe what just happened. I went to Nikki's house and
Angela was in her room. They were talking about the fact that they were
told to lead us on as an initation into the squad. She said that Shawn
knew about it, but that can't be right, cuz you would've told me.
Shawn> Man, I did know about it, but when I went to talk to Nikki...
Raven> You knew?
Shawn> She said she wasn't gonna hurt...
Raven> I don't care! Don't you get how much it hurt and then you just
made it worse.
Murphy> Twizzler told us.
Raven> You all knew and didn't tell me?
Shawn> Man, we are best friends...
Raven> Ex-best friends. No, wait. Ex-friends period. That includes you
two as well. Get the hell out of my house. NOW!
{CUT and OPEN on LINDBERGH BLVD}
Shawn> {Walking down Lindbergh with Twizzler and Murphy} I just lost my
best friend and my home and my life over a stupid girl.
Murphy> That sucks, yo, but look on the good side, dog. You can chill at
my crib for a little while.
Shawn> You got cable?
Murphy> No.
Shawn> It won't be the same.
[Show different views of the groups at their own places while "Goodbye
To Romance" by OZZY OSBOURNE plays in the b.g.]
{CUT and OPEN at SCHOOL}
Nicole> {Runs up to Shawn} Hey. Shawn is there a possible way that you
can help me with Raven?
Shawn> I told you that if you hurt him then you would owe me big time
and I meant it. I don't think I should be doing you any favors.
Nicole> I know that and I was in the middle of telling Angela that I
don't care if I was kicked of the squad. She brought him up and I guess
he was at the door.
Shawn> I don't care.
Nicole> What if I told you that I could help you find true love?
Shawn> What do you mean?
Nicole> A girl told me today that you and her kept running into each
other everyday and you guys went out, but you were with Angie so...
Shawn> {Surprised} You know RUN IN GURL?!
Nicole> Is that what you call her? Her name is Samantha. She's my
cousin.
Shawn> Thanks, but I still can't help you. Rave is pissed at me for not
tellin' him in the first place and he kicked us all out of the house.
Nicole> Okay. Give me til lunch and I'll find something out. Kay?
Shawn> Okay. We can be a team, I guess. {She smiles and walks away}
{CUT and OPEN in the GIRL's BATHROOM}
Brooke> {Talking to Angela} You know about how I said that I was going
to get rid of them on Monday.
Angela> Yeah.
Brooke> Well, I got Luke to take out Raven on his lunch today.
Angela> Well, I heard that Shawn and Raven aren't friends anymore so...
Brooke> Good. {She smiles, tosses her hair, and then leave the room with
her sister behind her.}
[Nicole walks out of the stall and looks at her clock. She takes off
running to the door.]
{CUT and OPEN at LUNCH}
Lukas> Okay, where are you, you little punk. {He sees Raven} There you
are. {He heads towards him}
{CUT and OPEN in the LUNCH LINE}
Nicole> {Runs upto Shawn} Lukas is about to beat Raven.
Shawn> Where?
Nicole> Outside, right now.
Shawn> {Takes off out the door and straight towards Raven who has his
back to Lukas who is coming up on him.} RAVEN! {Raven turns and sees
Lukas and moves as Shawn tackles him. He gets up and grabs Raven} Let's
go. {Raven runs with him and they go inside}
{CUT and OPEN at RONNIES}
Raven> As you can see, we are talking now, so you go ahead and consider
that an issue closed. We got back on good terms. He tried to get me to
talk to Nikki, but I wouldn't give in. I just kept getting more and more
depressed. Everyday.
{CUT and SHOW various SCENES where NICOLE and RAVEN are MOPPING AROUND
while "Will You Love Me Tomorrow" by CAROL KING plays in the b.g.}
Shawn> On the other hand...Nikki kept her end of the deal with me. I
then went to where I knew Samantha would be and...
{CUT and OPEN in the SCHOOL HALLWAY}
Samantha> {Wlaks around the corner and runs into someone and then falls
down.} I'm sorry, are you okay? {She sees that it's Shawn} Oh, it's you.
I'm not talking to you for a good reason and...{She gets flowers in her
fave}
Shawn> I'm sorry. You are the one I want and it hurt like hell when it
hit me in the head. And it did hit hard. {She smiles and takes the
flowers.}
Samantha> {Kisses him and he picks her up} So how hard did it hit you?
Shawn> Pretty hard. {A ball flies and hits him in the head and he falls
down}
GUY> I don't know how the hell I keep doing that.
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Raven> {Looking around the room and he sees Shawn & Samantha, Murphy &
Kayla, and Twizzler & Sydney all cuddling} I wonder why I feel alone?
Murphy> Cheer up, Rave, it's been a month and a half since you broke up
with her. Get over it. {Looks at Sydney} What was your mission to stay
on the squad?
Sydney> I had to lose my virginity by the two weeks.
Shawn> Then how did you stay on the squad?
Sydney> I didn't fail. {She smiles and kisses Twizzler}
Murphy> What? Go Twizzler, Go Twizzler. {Twizzler smiles}
Shawn> I think we should get the team back. I mean, not harmful, except
Stomper and Lukas, just sweet revenge.
Twizzler> I was waiting for someone to think of that. I have some great
ideas to get the pom pomers so embarrassed that they will want to switch
countrys. {Everyone is starring at him}
Raven> Dude, what is your name?
Twizzler> My friends call me Twizzler. {He smiles} Okay, here are my
ideas. Angela first....
{CUT and SHOW scenes of the REVENGE while "Basket Case" by GREEN DAY
plays in the b.g.}
Angela - RAVEN POKES A HOLE IN HER SODA AND SHE SPILLS IT ON HER WHITE
JEANS/SKIRT AND IT LOOKS LIKE PEE THEN SHAWN YELLS TO LET EVERYONE
NOTICE.
BROOKE - TWIZZLER SNEAKS INTO THE BATHROOM AND SWITCHES HER HAIR-SPRAY
WITH BLUE HAIR COLOR AND SHE USES IT AND GETS LAUGHED AT.
A SQUAD - SYDNEY AND KAYLA PUT SHOE POLISH ON ALL THEIR MEGA PHONES THAT
THEY USE FOR PICTURE DAY AND THE YEARBOOK GROUP PICTURE GIVES THEM ALL A
BLACK CIRCLE AROUND THEIR MOUTHS.
STEVEN - MURPHY COPIES PICTURES OF Steven DRESSED UP LIKE A GIRL AT A
PARTY AND SHAWN PUTS THEM UP AROUNF SCHOOL.
LUKAS - RAVEN PUTS A WOOPIE CUSION UNDER HIM AT LUNCH AND PUTS POWDER IN
HIS HAIR TO LOOK LIKE DANDRUF
{SONG FADES and we CUT and OPEN in TARGET PARKING LOT}
Raven> {Sees Lukas and Steven waiting for them at their car} What do you
guys want? {He notices Brooke, Angela, Twizzler, Murphy, Kayla, Sydney,
and Nicole are watching}
Lukas> What the hell do you think, chump!
Shawn> No ice cream!
Lukas> DAMN! Wait, I wanna beat you up.
Raven> DUH! {Lukas Punches him and Shawn is kicked in the stomach by
Steven. Raven gets up.} Man, you just made a big mistake. {He kicks
Lukas in the nuts and then knees him in the face. Lukas gets up
bleeding. Raven starts to back away.}
Steven> Take you out, man. {Shawn hits him in the face then in the
stomach. Steven falls down and Shawn kicks him in the face knocking him
out. He looks around and sees Raven getting kicked in the stomach by
Lukas. Shawn comes up and taps lukas's shoulder. He turns around and
Shawn just swings and hits him in the face. Lukas looks at him like it
didn't hurt. He chuckles and then falls over. Everyone cheers but Angela
and Brooke who walk away} Damn straight. {Nicole leaves, too.}
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Ms. Garrett> {Comes into the living room where Raven is sitting,
watching TV} Raven, sweetie,are you still upset about that girl?
Raven> How do you know about that?
Ms. Garrett> Well, would you look at me when I speak to you, please? {He
turns and looks at her} I found out from Twizzler and Murphy.
Raven> Oh. Well, not really, mom. {Thinks for a second} Why?
Ms. Garrett> I thought you'd never ask. Okay, there's this girl I work
with named Jennifer Weston and she has a daughter named Cory. She's a
year younger then you and just moved here from California. She's looking
for friends and I thought...
Raven> That she needed a boyfriend and I will take her on a date?
Ms. Garrett> I knew you would, honey, thank you. {She gets up and tries
to walk out}
Raven> Wait a minute. You didn't ask me if I wanted to. You just assumed
that I would.
Ms. Garrett> I know, sweetie, buthow would you feel if you just moved
here and you had no friends? You would be sad and lonely.
Raven> So what your saying is you have a new female boss and to kiss her
butt you offered me as a sacrifice, right.
Ms. Garrett> That about covers it.
Raven> Well, tell her I can't do it.
Ms. Garrett> No, I most certainly will not!
Raven> You set a date already didn't you?
Ms. Garrett> It's at 7:30 tonight, better get ready. {Raven gets off the
couch} Where is everyone?
{CUT and OPEN at STEAK N' SHAKE}
Shawn> I think that we should get them back together?
Murphy> That's impossible. {Twizzler agrees}
Shawn> I don't see how it's impossible. All I see is a bunch of guys
with no motivation.
Murphy> Face it, dog. The Spice Girls will not get back together for
your birthday party.
Shawn> You just aren't trying hard enough.
Murphy> You worry too much about Hollywood that you don't worry about
the stuff happening around you. You spend your time defending the
fiction of entertainment.
Shawn> I do not!
Murphy> C-3PO's gay!
Shawn> Is not! HE'S BRITISH!
Murphy> See?
Shawn> Well, he is. {He turns in time to see Raven walk in with a girl}
Guys, look.
Murphy> That must be the date his mom set up for him.
Shawn> Who told you that?
Murphy> It was set up for me, but I declined.
Shawn> Oh.
Raven> {Motions for her to sit down in the booth} So...what are your
fears?
Cory Weston> I fear that I won't go to Harvard. I fear that my mom will
die before I'm ready for her to. What about you?
Raven> I worry that the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about.
Cory> That's stupid.
Raven> Yeah, well...{Trails off} that's what I'm afraid of.
Cory> You're cute. Can we get out of here and go to your house?
Raven> I don't know if that's such a great...{She grabs him and drags
him out of the booth and out the door}
Shawn> I don't think he wanted to go.
Murphy> I don't blame him. She doesn't even try to understand him, not
like Nikki did anyway. We should get them back together.
Shawn> No, that won't work, but I got an idea. What if we got Nikki and
Raven back together instead of the Spice Girls? {Twizzler smacks him in
the head} OW! {Looks at Twizzler who slams his plam into his own
forehead} I'm not stupid, your stupid. Wanna take it outside?
Murphy> Hey, hey! None of that. I'll put you two in the corner.
Shawn> No you won't.
{CUT and OPEN in a CORNER of STEAK N' SHAKE}
Shawn> {Faceing the wall} Can I come out now?
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Raven> {Walks in and looks around} Mom!
Cory> She's not home. Our parents had a meeting that they had to go to.
Where's your room?
Raven> Downstairs in the basemeeeeeeeeee...{She drags him downstairs}
Hey, wait a second! {She kisses him hard and then pushes him on the
couch.} Don't you wanna talk or something?
Cory> Not really. {She starts kissing him again and he pushes her onto
the floor} What's wrong with you. Aren't I cute?
Raven> Yes Cory, you are, but...
Cory> But what?
Raven> Uh...I'm gay!
Cory> Oh. I was wondering why you acted so feminine.
Raven> I do not. I just have a headache and my hair is a mess. I don't
look good.
Cory> Wow, you are gay.
Raven> Hey! I am not...{Catches himself} in the mood.
Cory> Well, then youcan be yourself around me.
Raven> {Sounds like a female} Okay, sweetie, then in that case we are
going to talk...
Cory> But your mom said you were dating someone named Nikki.
Raven> No it was Nicky, as in Nicolas.
Cory> I'll fix your hair and you can tell me all about it.
{CUT and OPEN in the BASEMENT}
Raven> {Crying on her lap} And then she I mean he just told me that I
was used to get popular.
Cory> I hate men!
Raven> Me too!
{CUT and OPEN in the LIVING ROOM}
Shawn> {Comes in with the guys} Raven! I'm gonna check downstairs. He
walks towards the doors}
{CUT and OPEN in the BASEMENT}
Cory> You could have fooled me as a gay man.
Raven> I didn't even tell Mom, yet.
Cory> Are you seeing anyone now?
Raven> Yes, I am. I am seeing a very fabulas man, named...
Shawn> {Opens the door} HONEY! I'M HOME! {He comes downstairs} Hey.
Raven> Named Shawn. Hi cutie. {He gets up and walks over there and
kisses his cheek.}
Shawn> Okay, man. I think you need some sleep and so, uh have fun. {He
heads up the stairs}
Raven> {Smacks his butt} My fun comes later sweet cheeks. {Turns to
Cory} I think you should call a cab and go. I'm tired and I need my
beauty sleep.
{CUT and OPEN in the LIVINGROOM}
Raven> {Comes upstairs and sits next to Shawn who gets up} What?
Shawn> Are you in love with me?
Raven> No, oh, dude, sit down and relax. I didn't wanna date her so I
told her I was gay and that you were my boyfriend. That's all.
Shawn> {Stares at him} That's all?
Raven> {Takes a grape and nods his head} Em Hmm.
Shawn> Okay. {He sits down}
{CUT and OPEN outside RAVEN's HOUSE}
Ms. Garrett> Raven, Shawn. I'm glad I caught you before I left.
Raven> Mom, where you goin'?
Ms. Garrett> I have business to do in Asia so...I left a few thousand
dollars on the table and if you need anymore call me. I'll be back in 3
months.
Raven> Three months! Whose gonna clean the house?
Ms. Garrett> The same cleaning lady we've had for 12 years.
Raven> We have a cleaning lady?
Shawn> Have a safe trip, Ms. Garrett.
Ms. Garrett> I will. Take care of my boy even though he's your boy now.
Shawn> What do you mean?
Ms. Garrett> Cory told everyone about how sweet you two look together.
I'm just glad Raven finally came out of the closet. I always wondered
why he acted so feminine.
Raven> I do not! You're just jealous. {Shakes his head} Bye mom. {She
gets into the car} Fly safe.
Ms. Garrett> I will, sweetie. {She kisses his cheek and shuts the door}
Raven> Hey mom? What is it that you do exactly?
Ms. Garrett> Honey, I have to go and I'll call you later. Bye now. {She
drives away}
Raven> She's an assassin. For Russia. {They go into the house}
{CUT and OPEN at NICOLE'S HOUSE}
[The words "LAST DAY OF SCHOOL" comes on the Screen]
Nicole> {On the phone} Raven. It's Nicole. I know you are hurt and I
hope that you understand that I getting that mission gave me the chance
to meet the greatest person I've ever met...
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
{The guys are making Raven listen to the message on the answering
machine}
Nicole (Voice on the machine)> I want you to know that I am in love with
you. No matter how much I want to take everything back, I can't and if
you think about it...we would never have met on any other circumstances.
I feel a responsibility to you and makeing up for my mistakes. I have to
go to school now and I know you won't be there. Shawn told me you guys
always skip the last day, but I hope you call me so we can work things
out. Love you, bye.
(MACHINE)> End of messages.
Shawn> So what are you gonna do?
Murphy> She gets out of school in an hour and 15 minutes.
Raven> I'm not gonna do anything.
Shawn> You are in love with the girl. You'd better at least call her.
Twizzler> {Makes a motion for him to call her and Raven says no} Damn,
boy! You are stubborn! Think about it! The girl gave up her cheerleading
career, her popularity, and her dignity to be with you and then you
don't evencall her! What the hell is your problem. The girl made a
mistake. You make alot of them. You make more then alot. You're a damn
safty hazard. Now get your ass out of here and go get the girl of your
dreams. {He sits down and opens a bag of twizzlers} Damn. {Starts eating
a Twizzler}
Raven> {Walks out the front door} Fine, geez! {Slams the door}
Murphy> {Sits down next to Twizzler} Are you okay? {Twizzler kinda
shrugs and offers him a Twizzler} Coo. {Nodds his head}
{CUT and OPEN in VARIOS SCENES of RAVEN RUNNING towards LINDBERGH HIGH
SCHOOL with "The Middle" by JIMMY EAT WORLD playing in the b.g. Then
FADE OUT and OPEN in fron of the SCHOOL}
Nicole> {Comes out of the building and looks around. She sees Raven come
up to her and she smiles} Come to pick me up?
Raven> Don't mind if I do. {He picks her up and they kiss.} I hope you
know that you owe me big time.
Nicole> Yeah, I know, but I can hopefully pay it off gradually. {He
smiles and kisses her again}
{CUT and OPEN at RONNIES}
Raven> So you see that everything worked out here. The next time...
Shawn> Next time? There is no next time. Sequals are way to 90's.
Raven> Good point. {Samantha and Nicole come out of Ronnies} Hey girl.
Nicole> Hi, baby. {She kisses him}
Shawn> How was work?
Samantha> Sucked. We found out that there's another Star Wars movie
coming out. That C-3PO is so gay.
Shawn> He's not gay, he's...okay he's pretty gay. Now let's go back to
the house. We have a surprise for you.
{CUT and OPEN at RAVEN's HOUSE}
Raven> Go down into the basement and look at the place. Hit play on the
CD player, too would ya?
[The girls go down and hit play and they see Kayla and Sydney down
there, too. The four guys come down dancing. FADE OUT]
Raven> {singing and doing the HOKEY POKEY and stops} Maybe it really
isn't what it's all about.
{ROLL CREDITS and SHOW OUTAKES}
THE END
CC 2002 by Reel Video Productions and Joseph Stephen Janes III
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