2Final Draft, Inc. Final Draft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outh beach story by arden ostrander INT. conference room - NIGHT A MAN works frantically at a conference table overrun with papers, artwork, diagrams, spreadsheets, props and fast food wrappers. Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows its the middle of the night and the dead of winter in Chicago. The man, HARRY, 30-ish, takes a look out at the world. He has to first wipe frost off the window with his tie. Harry is fond of expensive trappings and prone to high volume grandiosity. Hes an extroverted supersalesman and proud of it. Harry looks along the row of windows to a MAN who slumps numbly against a pane of glass. Harry points to the data dump on the table. Harry Its in there somewhere. Just because we cant find it doesnt mean its wrong. other man When her Ladyship comes back well have her take a look. Shes good at this. HARRY Itll be fine. (beat) Thats the tragedy. (beat) They learn nothing. No one comprehends the toll on the human spirit. The other man, OLIVER, also 30-ish, stands up straight. Oliver is softly defined where Harry is sharp. Oliver watches people and schemes. Hes a charming sneak and attractive enough that people let it pass. OLIVER They know what theyre doing. They get what they want. We beg for the right to give it to them. He picks up a SPREADSHEET and studies it. HARRY Its pure Darwin. Promotion. Partnership. Or out the door. I shine your shoes or you shine mine. The door of the conference room opens as a WOMAN backs in carrying a tray with a teapot and cups, milk and sugar, and a plate of cookies. woman (English accent) An army travels on its stomach. So lets get moving. This is JILL, 30, an understated KNOCKOUT. She has a leggy, physical exuberance that only emphasizes her intellectual firepower. Her mischievous smile suggests boundless possibilities, just around the corner. JILL Whos shining shoes? Can I join the queue and get mine done? She stretches a long leg and a high-heeled foot toward the men. hARRY I only wish it were that simple, Jill. JILL It is simple, Harry. You come in, you do your work, you go home. You and the company are even every other Thursday. This agony gets us nowhere. oLIVER We never get to go home. Jill gives the teapot a good swirl then starts to pour. jILL It used to be frightfully important in London, whether you added milk to your tea or tea to your milk. The nobs put the tea in first and the lower orders poured the milk in first. Then we found out Prince Charles did it the wrong way and we all had to change. His nanny undid a thousand years of breeding. Shame! She serves them all a cup of tea then pops a cookie in each of their mouths. JILL Hows our bloodsugar? She looks at their exhausted faces. She nods at the tea. JILL Shall I find something to put in it? (beat) Spiking the tea is an underrated business tool. oLIVER Dont you care? (beat) As soon as we hand this thing in... Oliver checks his watch. oliver .. about five hours from now, one of us makes partner and one of us is out the door. hARRY The other one works for the winner, with a pay cut. That doesnt bother you? jILL These people grade on the curve. (shrugs) We knew that. We hang together or we hang separately. I prefer groups. 00020000083A00000CAC834,OLIVER We all thought wed win. JILL We do if we present a united front. We all did good work and we all deserve to stay. If they dont like it, we walk out. OLIVER Three musketeers. All for one.. hARRY Thats not how it works. Unfortunately. Jill takes the spreadsheet and looks at it carefully. JILL I think I see what youve done. Cmon! The sooner we get this over with the sooner we can have fun. (beat) Fun beats stock options in this market. iNT. hallway - crack of dawn The sun peeks into a window at the end of the hallway. A JANITOR vacuums the broadloom. We hear serious CURSING and POUNDING in a room off the hallway and truck forward to find Jill on her knees in the Copying Room trying to unjam the Xerox machine. She reaches into the bowels of the machine to her armpit as her skirt rides up around her crotch. Dignity be damned. Harry and Oliver wheel in with news. OlIVER What is our number one problem? jILL Printing our business plan. I could use some help. hARRY You remind me of the guy whose job it was to reach into the elephants asses at the circus, just before they went into the ring, and clean them out so they didnt poop during the show. Someone said, Your job is so awful, why dont you find a new one. They guy says, What? And get out of show business? (points at Jill) What? And get out of investment banking? Jill seethes up at Harry. hARRY (clears throat) Our prime concern is to monitor our team mates, i.e. each other, while the bosses and client evaluate our work. We must make sure no one does any auxiliary brown nosing or supplementary back stabbing, while the others arent paying attention. oLIVER We put a lid on competitive treachery, to get us through the waiting period. Jill continues to sweat and grunt with her arm lost in the copy machine. Something CLICKS and BANGS. Jill CRIES in pain. The men are briefly attentive, then its back to business. OLIVER Since you have a baked-in advantage over us... HARRY (interrupts) A social advantage. OLIVER ....we have a proposal. Its compulsory but its also fun. In fact it was your suggestion. 000200000AC1000014E0ABB,HARRY We ride out the waiting period, restore ourselves physically and spiritually, keep close tabs on each another, and we scratch a long standing itch. OLIVER A collective itch. An itch that cries out for relief. jILL Poison Ivy? Harry and Oliver lean down on either side of Jill. Each whispers in one of her ears. Harry and Oliver cant help grinning. Jill listens. Then she GRINS. There are CLICKS and WHIRRS deep inside the copier and it suddenly and loudly starts to SPIT copies at a very fast, almost frantic, rate. eXT. miami airport runway - midday A JETS tires SCREAM as they touch down on the runway. eXT. acme rental car at miami airport - midDAY A shuttle bus pulls up and Harry, Oliver and Jill stagger off it into brutal overhead SUNLIGHT. They wear their same business clothes and have obviously partied heavily on the flight down. iNT. acmE RENTAL CAR AT MIAMI AIRPORT - midday Jill makes a pile of their luggage and falls asleep on it. Harry and Oliver go to the rental counter. Harry flips his credit card to the CLERK who makes a show of fanning away Harrys liquor laden breath. hARRY Its okay. Were extremely wealthy. clerk Do you have reservations? HARRY Yes, but Ill rent one of your cars anyway. Harry and Oliver convulse in self amusement. Oliver leans toward the clerk and sends another wave of fumes at him, causing the man to back away. oLIVER Our work is highly classified. Oliver gestures at the now snoring Jill. oLIVER Dont tell anyone were here. Oliver and Harry fall about laughing. hARRY (to Clerk) Ill handle this. Oliver goes over to Jill and crouches down to whisper to her. OLIVER (softly) Jill. Jill. She opens a bloodshot eye and stretches out. Jill is alluring even with a hangover. jILL Ollie, Ive been overserved. Oliver touches Jills cheek. They look over at Harry whos busy renting the car. OLIVER (whispers, urgent) We dont have to go through with this. You and I can split, drive down to Key West. Find a Justice of the Peace. As discussed many times. Jill kisses Olivers finger. oLIVER Please. Lets just go. You know you want to. Ill fix everything when we get back. (beat) Our jobs. Our lives. (smirks) Our Harry. Oliver nibbles Jills finger. The Clerk points to a nearby row of cars. cLERK Black sedan, slot 14-A. I gave you a two door, safer in a wreck. Jill rockets to her feet and SHOUTS. jILL No!! (stomps) No!!! Were getting a convertible! Period! Top down, even when it rains. No air conditioning! Oliver sags in frustration. hARRY A convertible is almost triple. Oliver tries to pull Jill back into paying attention to him. oLIVER Jill, Im serious. jILL (to Oliver) So am I. (to Harry) Ill pay the difference. Get one with a big engine in case we have to race. 00020000064A00001F9B644,Harry looks officially concerned. HARRY Your moneys no good. You know that. Harry hands the paperwork back to the Clerk who starts to make adjustments. cLERK I need your credit card again. oLIVER (to Jill) It voids the deal if you pay for anything. Oliver strokes Jill as Harry comes over. HARRY (to Jill, sweetly) Let us be the boys, just this once. Jill looks out the plate glass windows at a set of hard working SPRINKLERS. She struggles to her feet and staggers out the door. Harry, Oliver and the Clerk watch as Jill doffs all her clothes and stumbles naked into the stream of the sprinklers. Shes spectacular. The Clerk MURMURS instructions over the P.A. SYSTEM. cLERK (over P.A.) Streaker on the south lawn. Lets get a blanket over her, pronto. Through the window, the three men watch Jill. CAR JOCKEYS run out with towels to cover her up. Jill makes them chase her. cLERK You boys are going to have an interesting trip. eXT. ACME RENTAL CAR AT MIAMI AIRPORT - MIDDAY The musketeers slog back out to the baking midday heat and stow their bags in the trunk. Harry and Oliver piggishly grab the two front seats and Harry lowers the TOP. A refreshed Jill marches up over the hood of the car and balances on top of the windshield. She raises her arms. jILL I crave sun! Sacred, hot, healing sun! I turn to you, a fragile blossom, to be opened and... nourished. She springs over the men into the back seat and flops down and passes out cold. oLIVER A drink and a swim are in order. hARRY At your service! Harry GUNS the car out of the lot. EXT. Causeway [I-395] to miami beach - mID afternoon 000200000662000025DF65C,In the convertible, South Beach ahead of them, Miami skyline on their right. iNT. convertible - mID afternoon Jill is splayed across the back seat. A large TRUCK pulls up beside them. The DRIVER wags his tongue and makes lewd eyes down at Jill. Jill looks to Harry or Oliver to defend her but both are nearly comatose. Jill lifts her skirt and FLASHES the driver who immediately salutes her with a shocking BLAST on his air horn. As they come to the top of the causeway bridge, Jill points. jiLL Pull over! Now, please. Harry checks Jill out in the rear view mirror. hARRY We have a problem? oLIVER You gonna be sick? I might, too. JILL Right here, by the rail. Harry stops the car on the right shoulder of the bridge. eXT. causeway - mIDDAY Jill stands and walks over the trunk of the car to get out. JILL Follow me! Bring all phones, pdas, palms, blackberries. The men get out and follow Jill to the railing. She unholsters her cell phone as she walks. hARRY Who we gonna call? Ghostbusters? JILL I know what youre both thinking. Weve lived inside each others skins for ten months. oLIVER We made a pact. No work. hARRY Sex and food only. And booze. jILL Right. (beat) Oliver, you cant wait to call that little blonde secretary and ask what shes heard. Harry, youre itching to check in with a few improvements that occurred to you on the trip down. OLIVER Even if its true, so what? You have a flirt factor we cant match. hARRY Every boss wants to take you to dinner and separate you from your underpants. JILL Theres too much at stake for mere trust. On the count of three, everyones phone goes over the rail. 0002000005F600002C3B5F0,hARRY Mines programmed. Cant we fedex them back to the office? JILL Not dramatic enough. We need a statement. oLIVER One personal call. Please. HARRY Liar! You have no personal life, apart from us. Request denied. jILL We dont want secret calls to Chicago to suck up to our corporate masters or to bad mouth each other, do we? This gives us a fighting chance of keeping things on the up and up. One, two, three... Jill sails her phone over the railing. The men watch. jILL Boys, were down here for fun. Wondering what youre doing behind my back, or each others back, is not fun. Its work. The phones go or I do. Harry looks at Oliver then lobs his phone over the rail into the bay. Oliver shakes his head in disbelief. oLIVER (to Harry, hurt) You take her side against me? hARRY Not if you give your phone the old heave- ho. Is your soul so dead? Are you so devoid of adventure and rebellion? JILL Were here to let go. Phones are just a start. Oliver flashes a goofy grin then with great vehemence hurls his phone into Biscayne Bay. They lean over the railing to watch it SPLASH. HARRY This is the first moment since junior high that Im not connected. Jill loops her arms through theirs and walks them back to the car. JILL Youre connected, darling, youre just not reachable. iNT. cONVERTIBLE - late afternoon They wheel along the causeway toward the ocean. Waterfront mansions on the left, huge Cruise Ships to the right. Jill leans forward and strokes both their necks and looks at the amazing homes. jILL 0002000005F90000322B5F3,Miami is where you come to do all the stuff youre too embarrassed to do at home. I dont mean that in a bad way. oLIVER There is a coarseness and vulgarity here that I find irresistible. HarRY When our project is a hit, well be pricing real estate over there. oLIVER One of us will. The other two will be raking leaves and refrying beans for the winner. jILL (to Oliver) Didnt you go to school down here? oLIVER I came down and worked, for academic credit, on the great Florida recount. jILL What side? OLIVER Thats classified. (beat) I was altruistic and practical. HARRY (to Jill) Oliver came down for Gore but stayed for Bush. Ollie doesnt believe in losing. Oliver reaches into his bag on the floor and produces three cans of beer which he hands out. They drink. oLIVER Enough about me. (toasts) Hair of the dog that bit us! Harry swings the car left up Ocean Drive. HARRY (drinking) I took the Are you an Alcoholic? test in the airline magazine. jILL (drinking) I never knew you drank til I saw you sober. hARRY Im no alcoholic. I never drink alone and I dont keep booze in the house. Im in the carouser category. (indicates) A quiet beer with friends like this is harmless social drinking. Harry SWERVES suddenly to avoid creaming a pedi-cab whose DRIVER CURSES him in Spanish. eXT. hotel - late aftERNOON Harry pulls into the loading zone and they roll out of the car. A preposterously good looking BELLHOP, 20-ish, comes over and locks onto Jill. bellhop You folks come straight from the funeral? 00020000073B0000381E735,jILL (big smile) Dont get too close, we stink. hARRY (testy) The bags are in the trunk. BELLHOP (staring at Jill) Yessir! Ill get right on that. The Bellhop gives Harry a mock salute. They take in the carnival atmosphere along Ocean Avenue: FIRE EATERS and SWORD SWALL0WERS limber up. ROADIES unload Band equipment. ROLLER BLADERS, STILTWALKERS, UNICYCLISTS and PROMENADERS go past. MUSICIANS tune up. Jill gives Harry and Oliver each a big SMOOCH. jILL This is so brilliant! Thank you!! Harry, Jill and Oliver squeeze through the SCENE into the hotel. iNT. hotel lobby - lATE AFTERNOON Harry hands his credit card to the CONCIERGE, a professional southerner. He taps Harry into the computer. Concierge (southern accent) You all booked the Bridal Suite? hARRY Thats us. CONCIERGE Honeymoon Package? Full trimmings? HARRY Us again. Lets move it along. cONCIERGE We require a designated virgin for the special discount. Who is it? (chuckles) Just kidding. Did they give you a room number? The Concierge types away, confused. hARRY I dont remember. Look, pal, you might not have anywhere to be but we do. So lets pick up the pace. CONCIERGE The computer giveth and the computer taketh away... (tap, tap) There you are. Bridal Suite fully loaded with the orgy package... butter, oil, K-Y, mirrors, extra towels, toys, feather duster, oven mitts, rosary, videos... (smiles at Jill) Any special requests? A strap-on? (grins) You cant stump me! Weve had it all. jILL (stage whisper) Were going to play Wardens daughter and the Escaped Convicts. The Concierge gives Harry and Oliver a dubious once over. CONCIERGE Call if you need reinforcements. (beat) Are you aware of our closed circuit video feature? Participating rooms can watch other participating rooms and make a play date over the phone if they see or hear something they like. 0002000005A400003F5359E,oLIVER Show me how it works. Im an early adopter. Oliver and the Concierge huddle over a brochure. Jill wanders to the adjacent GIFT SHOP and looks at bathing suits. Harry slides in behind her. hARRY (whispers) We both know this is a terrible idea, so I say lets go! Just you and me. Jill models a bikini across her body for Harrys approval. hARRY (whispers) Youd look great in it. Youre great in anything. Cmon, Sanibel or Captiva while were all still friends. Well find a nice little church. Ollie can have the job. They look over at Oliver who scans a newspaper at the desk. oLIVER Holy fuck! jILL You okay, Ollie? OLIVER The stock is up four ticks! They must know weve given birth. (beat) What are you bees buzzing about? Jill locks her arms in theirs. JILL You. Me. Harry. The usual. iNT. hotel hallway The gorgeous Bellhop leads the Musketeers along a hall. jILL This boy is so pretty, we need to find a part for him in our school play. hARRY Maybe next trip. oLIVER (to Harry) Jill wants us to think outside the box. The Bellhop opens an attractive suite. He gets their bags off a trolley. Jill starts to follow him.. HARRY Hold it right there. (beat) This is the Bridal Suite. jILL Im not a bride! Im a sacrificial virgin. HARRY We still have to carry you across the threshold. Harry and Oliver lock arms and scoop Jill up. oLIVER One, two, three... They HUM Here comes the bride.. and carry Jill into the suite. 000200000C4A000044F1C44,inT. hotel suite - lATE AFTERNOON They flop on the furniture, exhausted. The Bellhop puts their bags down and POPS open a bottle of Champagne. He pours them all a drink and flirts with Jill. bELLHOP One for myself? Harry TIPS him and points at the door. hARRY Thank you and goodbye. I really mean it. oLIVER We wont call you and dont you call us. The Bellhop leaves, sullenly. The Musketeers toast and CLINK glasses. Oliver passes around a bowl of nuts. oLIVER Champagne for mood. Nuts for energy to ward off performance anxiety. jILL No fear! Ill explode first. This is the longest foreplay in the history of sex. Jill downs her champagne and holds out her glass for a refill. No one springs to her aid so she fills her own glass then pours for the boys. Awkward silence, then as if on cue, everyone checks their watch. HARRY We made it, I dont know how. oLIVER Do they have this number in Chicago? Do they know were here? Harry nods. Jill yawns. She gets her bag and heads for the bedroom. jill Give me a minute, will you, boys. (blows kisses) Kiss, kiss. She closes the bedroom door and latches it. Harry pulls Oliver into a bathroom. inT. bathroom Oliver sits on the toilet, Harry on the side of the bath. hARRY We need to take charge. We look bad. oLIVER Its too soon to panic. She knows the drill. HARRY There is no drill. Ive never done this and neither have you. OLIVER Sex is supposed to be dirty and humiliating, at least for the girl. Shell have to get with the program. HARRY Shes not the problem. (beat) We should be swaggering around like Vikings just back from the wars and ready to claim our tribute. (shakes his head) Were wimps, afraid to pop the question, unable to close. OLIVER (thinks) We work things out and present her with a done deal. (beat) Three quarts of blood just ran from my brain to my crotch. I have to go first. I beg you. HARRY We need to be gentle. I dont want her disappointed or feeling used. (thinks) If I take slippery seconds tonight, then I get first crack, pardon my french, each morning. For the duration. OLIVER Or until she schtups one of us to death. HARRY Whichever comes first! They leer at each other and shake hands. iNT. bedroom doorway Oliver KNOCKS and tries the door. Locked. oLIVER Shes locked the door. Hows that helping? Jill opens the door a crack. jILL Can I say what its in regard to. Shes cowled herself in a bed sheet and only her face is visible. The effect is spooky and mystical. Behind her the room is dark but for tiny pools of candlelight. OLIVER Its us. JILL Yes, Ive been expecting you. hARRY As you know, weve both grown hopelessly fond of you. JILL And I of you, both. oLIVER To the point of professional and personal distraction. HARRY Dereliction of duty, in actual point of fact. jILL Youre making me moist. HARRY Were both very horny... randy as you would say. JILL Horny is more urgent than randy. Both are nice. Fraught silence. oLIVER (clears his throat) Good, and as you know, on-demand sexual gratification was the selling point of this post-project excursion. hARRY The big idea, as it were. JILL I wouldnt be here without it. 0002000006310000513562B,(smiles) Im delighted with the arrangement. Nobody is territorial or possessive. No one gets attached. No one proposes. (grins) We dont want you two bull mooses out on the sidewalk butting antlers, do we? Fighting a duel on the beach at sunrise? Harry and Oliver stare at her. oLIVER So, to review the bidding... hARRY Fuck the bidding. I got a big ol cowbell clanging between my legs and it needs to get rung. jILL Thats exactly the kind of talk we like to hear. Jill opens the door and lets them in. iNT. bedroom The only illumination is from CANDLES and a PPV PORN FLICK on the TV. Incense sticks smoke. Jill is still shrouded in her sheet. jILL You must be dying to get out of your clothes. I know I was. Jill sheds her sheet. She is breathtaking in lacy black underwear. She goes to the huge bed and turns it down on both sides. jill Can we please consummate our project? She activates the massage feature then sprawls onto bed. JILL This bed thinks like a girl. She gives herself over to the undulations of the mattress. Harry stares at Oliver. oLIVER Oh, my, god! Oliver looks away. Jill pats the bed invitingly. JILL Last one ins a rotten egg. Oliver and Harry bite their lips and shift their weight. Harry flaps his arms. hARRY Im not as fresh as Id like to be. JILL Road grime is a major aphrodisiac. (beat) Napoleon once sent Josephine a note that said, Home in three days, dont wash. Jill POUNDS the bed insistently. jILL Boys? Were down and were dirty. Whats the holdup? Harry elbows Oliver that he should say something. oLIVER (clears his throat) 0002000006210000576061B,Uh, Harry and I have had a meeting. Silence. JILL Weve had ten months of meetings and looks and talks and moans and sighs and rubs and bumps. Excruciating silence. hARRY Jesus, Jill. JILL Jesus, Harry. (beat) Jesus, Ollie. What about your meeting? oLIVER We would like to stick to the plan, the script, if thats okay with you. JILL Script? Jill sits up and turns off the massage machine. OLIVER What we talked about at the copy machine last night, this morning. hARRY You agreed. You seemed fine with it. If theres been a misunderstanding... JILL You think Im here so I can get laid? (beat) I want us all to cut way loose. oLIVER Such as? JILL Every womans dream. Her two favorite men compete to make her happy. (beat) And we go from there. Who knows what might happen. OLIVER We have careers to consider. hARRY One of us does, one of us doesnt. jILL What better way to keep tabs on each other than a floating threesome? (beat) Oliver, youre reasonably insecure. How would you like to be out on the beach by yourself while Harry and I roll around in bed and conspire to squeeze you out of the company? Oliver and Harry slide into a kabuki routine: do we stay or do we go? They start towards the bed then the door then the bed. HARRY (to Jill) If this is a ploy to neutralize us, its dirty pool. oLIVER If word gets back ... jILL ... that you two red meat studs couldnt deliver? (laughs) In your hearts you know Im right. Oliver grabs Harry and Harry grabs Oliver and they pull each other out of the bedroom through the suite into the hallway. 0002000005CC00005D7B5C6,iNT. hOTEL HALLWAY Harry and Oliver stand in the hall, miffed and confused. They watch the door. It doesnt open. oLIVER You think shell turn us in? harry Ssssshhhhhhh! (whispers) One of us should stay and try to work something out with her. oliver (whispers) Did you notice that after the big show on the bridge, shes the one with a phone? (beat) This is war! Oliver cups his ear to the door and listens. At the door of the opposite suite, a MAID pushes her cleaning trolley into the hall then watches Harry and Oliver. OLIVER (whispers) Shes bluffing. Shed never do both of us at the same time. Never, never, never. HARRY (whispers) She fooled me. That lady is working a higher reality. The Maid has an unusually deep and loud VOICE. maid (loud) Hows the vacation, boys? Another perfect day? Oliver and Harry each jump a foot. mAID (points) The big party is gonna be over here. You want to get yourselves invited. She rolls her eyes and GIGGLES and heads off up the hall. The door to their suite swings open. Jill, NUDE, flings her black underwear at Oliver and Harry. jILL In case you want to slip into something a bit more comfortable. Jill SLAMS the door. INT. SUITE - Jill, nude, watches the door slam shut. She drinks champagne. She picks up the phone and dials. She hears a VOICE say: Good afternoon and thank you for calling... and she hangs up. She watches Porno for a moment then clicks the TV off. She gets in the shower and looks in the shaving mirror. 0002000006A30000634169D,She plays the shower head on her breasts then her basket. She soaps up a loufa and goes to work. iNT. hALLWAY - Harry and Oliver wait for the elevator. oLIVER She didnt have any clothes on. hARRY I noticed. OLIVER Shes European. They dont care. HARRY Every time I look at her I want to have children. Its the only time I think that. The elevator comes and they get in. iNT. elevator - Oliver presses the button. oLIVER Lobby? hARRY Good idea. (beat) I misjudged the woman, what can I say. My bad. OLIVER We lost control when we went along with that goofy phone thing. (beat) If you look at her long enough you forget shes also smart. HARRY You really think this is part of a plan? OLIVER (snorts) That lady can estimate your net worth to three decimal places while you shake hands with her. They think. HARRY Our project is gonna be a home run and its gonna make someone rich and famous. OLIVER A deal like this is once in a career. They reach the lobby. The doors are about to open. HARRY You want to go back up? Before she changes her mind. OLIVER With you or without you? HARRY Good point. iNT. HOTEL LOBBY - LATE AFTERNOON The same beautiful BELLHOP pushes a trolley laden with Champagne, flowers, and caviar across the lobby. Beside him is ROBERTO, a striking black man, late 40s, who radiates devilment and confidence. The Concierge follows Roberto solicitously. roberto (to Bellhop) Speed it up. I need everything in place before my wife gets there. (to Concierge) You sure shell be able to find me? cONCIERGE You have my word. (beat) If theres anything else... Roberto tips the Concierge. ROBERTO Dont you dare turn on any cameras unless I say okay. CONCIERGE Please. 00020000061B000069DE615,bELLHOP She must be quite a woman. rOBERTO I must be quite a jerk. This is my semi annual bustout from the doghouse. Roberto and the Bellhop reach the elevator and wait. The doors open. Roberto waves the Bellhop forward with his trolley. Oliver and Harry stand in mid-conversation. Oliver holds up his hand to halt the trolley. hARRY (points) We didnt order anything. Take it back. rOBERTO Have your meeting somewhere else, kids. This is a public thoroughfare. Roberto shoves the trolley forward into Oliver. Harry tries to shove the trolley back but Roberto blocks it. hARRY Youve caught me on the one day of my life I dont find you amusing. The men shove the trolley at each other until Oliver and Harry squeeze around it and leave. iNT. batHROOM - Jill steps out of the shower and empties her purse onto the sink counter. She finds her vibrator and tries to turn it on. Dead. jILL (mutters) Shit. Shit. Shit. Jill gets back in the shower and switches the water flow from the showerhead down to the faucet. She lies down and positions her basket under the faucet but cant get comfortable. She grabs some towels and wads them up for a pillow right over the drain. It plugs up and the water starts to rise. Jill is oblivious. She adjusts the taps, rubs oil on herself and curls her toes on the shower wall. iNT. lobby bar - early evening Harry and Oliver sit themselves in a banquette. To one side of them is a pack of rowdy RASTA MUSICIANS. On the other side is an exquisite black woman, VELMA, 40, stylish in a tailored suit and a hat with a veil. 00020000064100006FF363B,Harry SMILES at her in the way of a compulsive womanizer who assumes everyone is interested in meeting him. Oliver orders them martinis. oLIVER We had a thing where everybody won. It was Solomon-like in its wisdom. (beat) Sex ruins everything. It even ruins sex. hARRY It burns my ass that women get so much more out of sex than we do. They feel warm and fulfilled.. for us its localized friction and release followed by waves of self revulsion and emptiness. (beat) What a rip-off! OLIVER We work ourselves senseless. Jill crosses her legs and shes up on executive row passing judgment on us. Velma blatantly eavesdrops on them. Harry and Oliver drink and stew. The Rasta Musicians eye them belligerently. Two youngish BABES sit themselves in full view of Harry and Oliver and blatantly check them out. Oliver waves. They wave back. hARRY Its not too soon to present ourselves in the marketplace. Another glass or two of personality will help, and well have to wash eventually. Oliver signals for more drinks. OLIVER I tell you what I dont get. We want sex much more than they do and they have more fun with it? How is that right? HARRY Sex is like judo. You have to use their own strength against them. OLIVER (whispers) The black lady, the femme fatale? She cant take her eyes off you. Harry turns to sneak a look at Velma but shes staring right at him. On the other side of the banquette, a RASTA fixates on Oliver. oLIVER Not today, pal. We already gave. rasta#1 Watch your face, honky fuck. The WAITRESS sets drinks down in front of Oliver. Oliver throws one in Rasta #1s face. 0002000005720000762E56C,Harry swings round to help but is overwhelmed by Rastas #2 and #3. The Rastas PUMMEL Oliver and Harry until Velma runs over and SCREAMS at them. velma Knock that shit off! Right now!! Velma BEATS on the Rastas with her PURSE and subdues them. iNT. hOTEL HALLWAY - Roberto follows the Bellhop and his trolley along the same hall where the musketeers have their suite. The Bellhop studies a piece of paper and looks at room numbers. rOBERTO I asked for ocean and he offered me pool so who knows where I am. That broad should be up here by now. (checks watch) The Bellhop stops outside Jills room. bELLHOP She might be in here waiting for you. Want me to try it? ROBERTO Whatevers right. The Bellhop KNOCKS, then RINGS. Nothing. He opens the door with his passcard and they go in. iNT. lOBBY BAR - eARLY EVENING Harry and Oliver flank Velma in her banquette. They TOAST. vELMA They have to do what I say. They work for my husband. They look over at the Rasta Men who sit sullenly. hARRY Should we know him? vELMA Roberto Bing. Hes a record mogul, and a lawyer. What about you boys? oLIVER Investment bankers in Chicago. We just did our first major deal. Were down here to let off steam. VELMA I can see that. Hows it going? (beat) The steam, I mean. Harry reaches in his pocket and pulls Jills panties over his head like a cap. vELMA That good, huh? Dont let me hold you back. 00020000058B00007B9A585,hARRY And you? Wheres Roberto? VELMA Its our anniversary. Hes making me a surprise. oLIVER What kind of surprise? VELMA Something good cause hes been bad. (drinks) Men are dogs. HARRY Weve just had the opposite experience. VELMA Its in your DNA to behave badly. Were at peace with it. oLIVER We work with a woman. Thats her. (points at panties) Were a team but were supposed to cut each others throats to get ahead. In, Up, or Out. hARRY All we do is work and we only ever see each other. We brought her down here for a dirty weekend but she backed out. vELMA Groups are tricky. You have to wait for the slowest turtle or the soup goes sour. (beat) Why let them work you that hard? What is it with you people? HARRY Thats the deal. oLIVER Theres lots more where we came from. Velma digs in her purse. vELMA I can get you boys laid. She pulls out a brass COCKRING and looks from Harry to Oliver. vELMA Think you can handle one of these? Oliver is clueless. Harry steps up. hARRY Of course! VELMA Viagra is for sissies. Velma TAPS the cockring on the table. vELMA I need men who bring real wood to the party. iNT. bathroom shower - Jill lies in the bathtub, starting an ORGASM and about to DROWN. The water is at her cheek bones. At the MOMENT of TRUTH, she looks up and sees the Bellhop staring down at her through the shower curtain. Robertos face is visible over the Bellhops shoulder. 0002000005EC0000811F5E6,Jill SCREAMS in fright, then SCREAMS in ecstasy as she COMES. She RIPS down the shower curtain and INGESTS a huge mouthful of bathwater and KICKS the chrome basket of toiletries off the shower wall. roBERTO That one isnt faking. Jill starts to CHOKE even as she convulses from the ORGASM. The Bellhop kneels down and gives her Mouth-to-Mouth. roBERTO Id give the Heimlich a shot, too. INT. SUITE - EARLY EVENING Roberto goes into the living room and dials the front desk. rOBERTO (into phone) Its Mr. Bing, I just checked in. What room am I in and is anyone looking for me? (listens) Thanks. Jill walks in, a bit shaky, wrapped in a towel. She sees the trolley and SQUEALS in delight. jILL Omigod! That is so sweet. (to Roberto) Are you with the hotel? Roberto grabs her hand as she reaches for the caviar and gives her the once over. ROBERTO I asked the agency for someone with real meat on her bones. (beat) And Id like to know what youre doing jacking off on my dime. You better have lots of gas in the tank, weve got a big night ahead of us. Roberto counts out ten hundred dollar bills and slaps them into Jills palm. rOBERTO Youre in the wrong room. You nearly fucked up the whole thing. iNT. ELEVATOR - Velma, Harry and Oliver ride up in the elevator. vELMA Its my party and my hooker. I can do whatever I want. oLIVER Youre sure its a woman? hARRY Oliver, please. vELMA Like Id pay some man to stick it in and yell Oh shit! after a minute or two? oLIVER We dont want any problems. VELMA 00020000063A00008705634,If Roberto doesnt like it Ill cut off his water and itll stay cut off. (beat) You two are real babes in toyland, arent you? iNT. hOTEL HALLWAY - Velma, Harry and Oliver sashay down the hall, arm in arm, SINGING Hot, Hot, Hot and LAUGHING themselves silly. oLIVER Id never hurt Jill but this is the first time Ive forgotten about work in a year. hARRY This is not about Jill. OLIVER Right! She has to learn. HARRY The door swings both ways. Harry opens their suite. Empty. They look down at a trail of wet footprints and champagne bubbles that leads across the hall. Velma opens that door. A trolley blocks her entrance. She puts her shoulder to the door and bulls her way in. iNT. roberto & velmas suite - Its dark but Harry, Oliver and Velma follow ominous SOUNDS to the bedroom. iNT. bEDROOM They are face to face with Jill who rides SOMEONE in the reverse cowgirl position. hARRY Jill? vELMA You goddamn son of a bitch!!! Velma shoves Jill aside to reveal the Bellhop under her. Hes tied to the bedposts and sips champagne through a straw as he bucks Jill on his hips. oLIVER What the hell is this? Roberto watches from an armchair. Velma yanks him to his feet and starts to SLAP him silly. vELMA How could you do this to me? Its our anniversary! rOBERTO Whereve you been? I was worried. Velma and Roberto descend into love/hate SLAPPING with lots of INVECTIVE. A WOMAN in a party dress and spike heels walks in and BLOWS a shrill whistle. woman How dare you start without me! Someone was supposed to call me and give me the room number. I had to tip the front desk. 00020000075500008D3974F,(to Roberto) You Roberto? rOBERTO You were booked for an hour ago. WOMAN The bridge was up. You still have to pay even if I dont get wet. ROBERTO (points to Jill) She took your money. The Woman confronts Jill as Jill climbs off the Bellhop. WOMAN Lets have my cash, honey. hARRY Jill, explain yourself! jILL (to Woman) Be on time. Punctuality is the courtesy of kings. The Woman and Jill get into a CATFIGHT. Velma goes back to whacking Roberto. Oliver looks on in horror. Harry buries his face in his hands. iNT. HOTEL SUITE - EVENING Oliver and Harry slouch in chairs. Jill organizes her clothes and packs. oLIVER (to Harry) I say let her go. jill (passing by) She doesnt want to go. You want her to go. OLIVER For the good of the project. hARRY (to Jill) Ollies right. This is not some fleeting indiscretion. There are serious corporate ramifications. JILL A nice man offers me a thousand dollars to have sex with the most beautiful boy ever made. Whats to discuss? oLIVER While he watched! While youre supposed to be with us!! JILL You abandoned me to my vibrator. That boy saved my life. I might have drowned. (shrugs) Sex is silly. Its the silliest thing we can do and still keep a straight face. (beat) Forgive me? Jill fans herself with the benjies. OLIVER Your escapade was an egregious breech of professional ethics. jILL (to Harry) Oliver wants me to go so he can be the quiet hero who kept things afloat. You are still the cheerleader. Im the ungrateful foreigner who left her colleagues high and dry. oLIVER And who has serious sexual issues. JILL I like sex and Im good at it. If thats an issue, youre a bloody wanker! Harry steps between them and holds up his hands for peace. hARRY Were all terrific people and weve worked far too hard for our own good. Plus, were smart and resourceful. So lets find a way to right our little ship. 00020000070600009488700,Jill looks helpful. JILL I have a suggestion. HARRY Im afraid to hear it. JILL I go to bed with you both but separately. oLIVER You would do that? JILL (nods) Once each. Then I declare a winner and the loser has to leave town. (giggles) OLIVER There she goes again! How does that help? (to Jill) Can she ever be serious? JILL I am serious. I was brought up to believe that sex should be dirty and humiliating. hARRY Oliver, you and I both want Jill for ourselves. Lets not pretend we dont. She has a right to kick the tires, go for a test drive. jILL (to Oliver) Dont sell yourself short, Ollie. Given the size and shape of your hands, youre definitely a contender. (beat) But if all you want is a passive sexual pin cushion... a semenal trough you can dispose of once youve sated your bestial cravings... get yourself another girl. Jill fans herself with the money. jILL The going rate is a thousand dollars, cash, up front. A KNOCK, then an ENVELOPE slides under the door. Harry BANGS a drumroll on the coffee table. hARRY Saved by the envelope under the door. Oliver circles toward the envelope. oLIVER Who would think three superstar banking careers could fit under a door? Harry goes the other way toward the envelope. Jill watches them and yawns. Oliver and Harry stop, equidistant from the envelope. jILL You look like anorexic sumo wrestlers. Someone please read the damn thing. Harry and Oliver dive at the envelope. They roll on the floor and grapple for possession. Oliver comes up with the envelope and rips it open. OLIVER (reads) So far, so good. Important you recharge your collective batteries and stay put until we decide whats next for each of you. Thats an order. Regards.. etc. hARRY That sounds ominous. (to Jill) Do we trust him? jILL Trust him to do what? 0002000005B400009B885AE,Harry eyes Oliver. Oliver holds out the message but Harry shakes his head: No Thanks. oLIVER Trust your mother but cut the cards. Jill undresses in front of them and squeezes into her bikini. JILL I trust you, Oliver. She tosses their bathing suits at them. jILL (CONTD) Life will look better after a swim. iNT. ELEVATOR - The three of them look in different directions. HARRY Im still glad we came down. oLIVER Five below back home. HARRY Were together and were communicating. jILL Whats for lunch? The romp with the bellhop left me peckish. oLIVER What made you decide that sex is war? JILL Men. (beat) Deep down theyre really shallow. hARRY You cant include us in that? The elevator reaches the lobby and the doors open. eXT. hotel pool - lATE AFTERNOON Overgrown tropical. Torches, candles, Hardbodies. Jill dives in. Oliver and Harry sit at the end of the pool and order drinks. The BABES from the bar wave. Oliver and Harry wave back. Jill tosses her bikini top up at Harry and Oliver. Then her bikini bottom. She starts to swim laps. Shes fast and has a racers form. oLIVER (watches) Is there anything she cant do? hARRY There must be something. (looking around) I guess having a tan and being in shape just happens if you live down here. OLIVER Yeah, like having opera tickets back home. It just happens. (beat) Why did she fuck the bellhop? HARRY Birds and bees. Dont look for meaning in every thong and speedo. There isnt any. 0002000007BC0000A1367B6,OLIVER Shes manipulating us. The best way to control someone is to make them paranoid. HARRY Its not that complicated. Shes a big strong girl and she loves to fuck. Jill SURGES out of the pool and SPITS a mouthful of water up at the boys. jILL Im a dolphin. (laughs) Please come and swim. oLIVER Were good. hARRY Maybe in a few minutes. jILL The waters perfect. The best thing between my legs all day, I swear. Jill swims away, doing the backstroke. Oliver and Harry watch and contemplate. oLIVER It never lets up with her. hARRY I try to believe shes unaware of the effect she has. OLIVER Would you marry her? HARRY Probably. Sure. Would you blow up your career for her? OLIVER Possibly. It would depend. I dont like to think about what Id do for her. Silence. HARRY So what did the fax really say? OLIVER On or off the record? Harry smiles. oLIVER They need some changes. Tweeks, really. Nothing too major. HARRY How soon? OLIVER Immediately. They want to finalize it tonight. Crack odawn at the outside latest. (grins) They fucking love it to pieces. Harry digests this news and its implications. HARRY Who loves it? Exactly. OLIVEr The corporate masters, the client, the regulators. We are champions of the entire world!! HARRY Wheres the original message? She can be a sneaky little devil. Oliver pats his basket. hARRY Thats one place she wont be rummaging around. You need a phone. Tell them were all over the problem. You and I. Me and you. Harry waves the Babes over to join them. HARRY Ill stage a diversion. You go to the lobby. Ill say you had to throw up. oLIVER You sure? HARRY Ill make it diahorea if you think its more dignified. OLIVER (hesitates) Harry, if Im the one who gets bounced Ill have to sell real estate. Cars, even. HARRY We have no alternative but to save ourselves. OLIVER Were doing Jill a favor by not including her. Shes had enough. Babes #1 & #2 arrive. Introductions, then Oliver scuttles away to the lobby. 00020000063C0000A8EC636,hARRY (CONTD) Where you ladies from? babe#1 Were locals. They give us pool privileges. babe#2 (flexes her big chest) For obvious reasons. Babe #1 touches Harrys thigh. BABE#1 How do you get so pale? BABE#2 Youre so white youre almost blue. hARRY Thats a litigators tan. It says you work all the time and make colossal amounts of money. Its cooler than a lifeguard tan or tennis pro tan and harder to get. The Babes chew on this. They take off their bikini tops and rub lotion on each other. hARRY Im grateful for the show but the sun set an hour ago. bABE#2 This is skin care, for the chlorine. HARRY Save some for me. And Oliver. Oliver SIGNALS Harry from the edge of the lobby with a two thumbs up then waves several pages of FAX. Harry acknowledges him. Oliver folds the new fax and jams it into his crotch and rejoins Harry. hARRY (to Oliver) She cant hang around us but she cant go back to Chicago, either. It should seem like her idea. They toast. oLIVER Men are thicker than water! Jill materializes at the end of the pool. Did she hear? jILL What are we toasting? Harry passes her a drink. hARRY Musketeers! All for one, one for all, and every man for his, or her, self. JILL Please, a bit more hypocrisy. Jill drinks. She stretches for her bikini and puts it on in the pool. She stares at the Babes. They turn away and chat amongst themselves. jILL Ive given us some thought and I want to apologize. (beat) I was overeager and I got a bit silly buggers. I was distracted... handing in the project, running off with my two favorite men after months of frustration. 00020000060D0000AF22607,hARRY (too quickly) Its not a problem. We see your point. oLIVER (jumps in) A strong work relationship is more precious than meaningless, mechanical, mindless... jILL May I finish? OLIVER Sorry. Please. hARRY We want to hear it. Jill pulls herself onto the deck and sits cross legged before the boys. jILL I come from a society where the only two emotions permitted are embarrassment and disapproval. All the positive energy in America confuses me. Im still adjusting. hARRY Were the problem. oLIVER Youre doing great. JILL No Im not, but you are sweet to say it. (beat) Ive been a harridan. I am so sorry! The swim cleared my head. Harry shifts himself to get up. hARRY Dont even think about it. JILL Harry! Let me have my little wifely say and dont be in such a rush to escape me. Ive made a mess but Im going to put things right. Harry looks to Oliver in distress. oLIVER Jill, theres no need, believe me. JILL Ill do it your way, with humility and gratitude. (sweetly) Whos on first? Harry and Oliver look at each other, panic stricken. hARRY Jill, that ship has sailed. JILL I can coax it back into port. hARRY We made a bizarre arrangement in a moment of exhaustion and despair. Luckily, we didnt consummate a doomed proposition that couldve had major repercussions. oLIVER Amen. Jill, perplexed, takes a drink. She stares at Olivers bulging crotch then grins. JILL Oliver, You obviously disagree with our learned friend Harold. Jill runs her hand up Olivers bare thigh toward his crotch. oLIVER Jill, I just cant. 0002000006200000B52961A,JILL Youre bursting out of your pants. You dont have enough skin left to blink. (beat) This is most complimentary. She starts to slide her hand into Olivers bathing suit. Harry lunges for her wrist to stop her. Oliver rolls away from her and stands with his chaise between him and Jill. OLIVER We made plans. Were taking these ladies out for dinner then were hitting some dance clubs. JILL You two are going dancing? Now thats funny. Jill stands. jILL Anything else you want me to believe? They try to look innocent. JILL Better not keep the ladies waiting. iNT. hotel lobby - eVENING Jill leads them all through the lobby. Velma and Roberto wave from the desk. The Rastas recognize the Babes and grab their crotches and YELP in salute. The Babes bask in the attention. iNT. eLEVATOR - They ride up in silence. Finally: jILL Ill tidy up while youre gone. hARRY Great. oLIVER No thanks! (nudges Harry) Well be fine. hARRY I mean, whatevers good for you, but theres no need. jILL Im in the way. (looks at Babes) I better move out. oLIVER Very considerate of you Jill, as always. (beat) Coconut Grove is nice. JILL Ill just go home. hARRY Stay down here, somewhere, and well all go back together. Seriously. JILL Chicago wont be happy if theres a problem and they cant find anyone. bABE#2 You know someone called Chicago? Cool! My friend named her little girl Hialeah. iNT. hOTEL HALLWAY - They amble to their suite. iNT. HOTEL SUITE - Harry serves drinks. Oliver fidgets. The Babes hover. Jill laces up her rollerblades: serious five wheelers. 000200000AB40000BB43AAE,JILL I cant decide if exercise sharpens my sex drive or dulls it. hARRY I avoid it either way. (beat) Exercise, that is. Not sex. JILL Why is it such a chore to have fun? oLIVER Thats unfair. Were having fun now. HARRY Our premise was faulty. How long do we pretend before we bag it? Jill is lost in thought. hARRY You okay? jILL I dont think Ive ever been rejected. Is that arrogant? Ive certainly never been turned down by two men simultaneously on the same date. Oliver squats in front or her. oLIVER You havent been rejected. Were not what you want. (squeezes her hands) JILL What do you want, Ollie? A sexy Nanny who doesnt speak English? Harry tries to suppress a SNIGGER. JILL And you, Harry? A mother who gives great blow jobs? iNT. hOTEL LOBBY - eVENING The Concierge fusses at the front desk. The elevator opens and Jill rollerblades out across the lobby. cONCIERGE Oh, Miss! Jill blades over. jILL Hi! CONCIERGE I want to make sure youre getting all your faxes. JILL I dont want them. Im on vacation. cONCIERGE (CONTD) Theyre addressed to all three of you. I better start to make copies. jILL You are most considerate, thank you. CONCIERGE By the way, roller blading in the lobby and naked laps in the pool? JILL Yes? He points to a row of TV monitors under the counter. CONCIERGE I see everything. Its most becoming. Keep it up. JILL I will, thank you. eXT. south beach sidewalk - dusk Jill rollerblades in the twilight. Her t-shirt reads: BREED ME AND LIVE FOREVER! She watches BEACH BUMS build a fancy SAND CASTLE. She crashes a game of hopscotch on her blades and WIPES OUT. eXT. sOUTH BEACH BEACH - dUSK Jill takes off her blades and walks across the beach. A perfect LIFEGUARD watches her approach his tower. Jill watches him watch her. They cant help smiling. jILL If I leave my things under your tower could you keep an eye on them, please? lifeguard Its against the rules. Since youre a foreigner Ill make an exception. Half an hour, then you buy me a fast beer. JILL Deal. Seeya! Jill runs and jumps in the ocean. She attacks the rolling surf and shakes out the last of the cobwebs. She jogs back to the tower. The Lifeguard has closed up and sits holding Jills blades and clothes. eXT. stone wall along bike path - eVENING They get beers from a cart and sit on the wall. lIFEGUARD You look great. I have a girlfriend. jILL So do you. I have two boyfriends. LIFEGUARD At once? JILL I tried. LIFEGUARD Wow. Did it make them impotent? JILL We never got that far. (beat) Whats with guys whod rather work than play with me? LIFEGUARD You ask someone who stares at the ocean for a living. I got out. I voted with my feet. JILL Life should be simple and good, if you ask me, and you havent. 000200000CDB0000C5F1CD5,LIFEGUARD Youd make a great lifeguard. (beat) I watch people come down here and try to cram a years worth of fun into three or four days on the beach. He shakes his head. jILL Thats us! (beat) My life runs on impatience and martyrdom. And meaningless social crap. (smiles) Id give you my number but I threw my phone off a bridge. LIFEGUARD I get the picture. He writes his name and number on a matchbook. He lobs his beer bottle a hundred feet into a can. SWISH. lIFEGUARD Not before eleven. Anytime after. He gives Jill his number, kisses her and leaves. eXT. sOUTH BEACH BEACH - dUSK Jill hears a band TUNING UP and goes to listen. Its the Rastas from the hotel. Roberto and Velma set up their show. They embrace Jill like an old war buddy. vELMA You okay? We were concerned. Jill flashes the phone number. jILL Another night, another matchbook. rOBERTO The night is but a pup. JILL And all the worlds a stage. They both laugh. vELMA What the hell are you two talking about? rOBERTO Willy the Shake. VELMA I want to know about the bellhop. That action was too affirmative for me. They head across Ocean Ave to a cafe. eXT. news cafe - dUSK Ringside seats. Roberto orders champagne. jILL Im sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I had no intention of stealing your man. vELMA Nor I yours. rOBERTO Forgive my thinking you were from the escort service. vELMA (to Roberto) Theres no refund, baby, if thats what youre sniffing at. (taps Jill) He meant it as a compliment. (beat) Weve tried like hell to figure out what is up with you folks. ROBERTO I say its some kind of sting operation. DEA, ATF, Customs. Act like honky fools, suck in the target, then BANG! (slams fist) VELMA (points at Roberto) Life is one big Denzel Washington movie. Harry said youve just done some fancy finance proposal. Jill nods. jILL Were sweating it out. We worked together perfectly for a year but its finally turned to shit. VELMA Those boys are both in love with you, no matter what they say or what youve done. rOBERTO A pair of hound dogs chasing a Rolls Royce. What if they catch it? jILL One of them is hot and one of them is sweet. Together, theyre a whole dish. vELMA You keep acting like a man, at the end of the day youll have nothing but your own dick in your hands. The WAITER arrives and pours away. rOBERTO We wanted to take you all to dinner but Oliver and Harry declined. jILL They found love at the pool. Velma and Roberto look at Jill sadly. vELMA We knocked on your door. Those boys are working on something secret. Harry wouldnt even let me peek in the room. rOBERTO Velma got a drinking glass from our bathroom and listened through the door. You see the shit Im up against? VELMA Oliver was on one phone telling someone youd run off with the bellhop. (beat) Harry was calling in numbers on the other line. (beat) It didnt sound good. Jill fights misting up. iNT. hOTEL LOBBY front desk - eVENING Harry sends one fax and collects another. Jill surprises him. jILL I thought youd be on soul train by now. hARRY Were on our way. Theres a few things to tidy up. You? Babe #1 eyes them from a lobby sofa. JILL I stopped by to look in on my career. The Concierge passes Harry the new FAX. cONCIERGE (to Harry) Here you go, sir. A copy for the lady? 0002000006360000D2C6630,hARRY Were okay, thank you. (to Jill) Just housekeeping stuff. I took care of it. CONCIERGE The lady is listed on the incoming fax. House policy is to deliver items to every person addressed. The Concierge hands Jill a copy. She reads it. jILL I see. (to Harry) Congratulations! You must be very proud, you and Oliver. hARRY And you! We did it together. (beat) I covered for you, by the way. Chicago was curious. JILL Thanks. Wheres the fax that came under our door? HARRY What door? cONCIERGE (listening) I can make you a copy, maam. HARRY Why dont you butt the fuck out! (to Jill) Ask Oliver. I never actually saw it. JILL Its unlike you to show real emotion, Harry. Its most attractive. HARRY Jesus, Jill, calm down. JILL I am calm. Im perfectly still, like a snake before it spits poison in your eye. (touches him) I dont blame you for this. You mean well. Being around you is habit forming. Jill kisses him gently on the lips. Harry takes a deep breath and tries to wring some tension out of his neck. HARRY I told Oliver youd figure it out. (snaps fingers) Fatigue makes cowards of us all. If sleep deprivation skewed my judgment and made me weak, Im sorry. I just want to survive. jILL One last favor. Dont tell Ollie Im on my way up. iNT. hOTEL HALLWAY - Jill gives three RAPS on their door. jiLL (Jamaican accent) Housekeepin... Oliver swings the door open in mid grin. oLIVER Jill? JILL I live here, remember? She brushes past him into the room. iNT. HOTEL SUITE - eVENING Babe#2 watches porn on TV. bABE#2 Hi! (points at TV) These people are goooood! 0002000006160000D8F6610,OLIVER Ive been trying to find you. jILL I threw my phone away. Oliver looks at the fax in Jills hand. OLIVER Harry went behind our backs with some final-final changes. Im pissed at him but were heroes!! All of us. JILL Harry says you lied about the first fax. The one that crawled under the door? She finds it on the coffee table and reads it. She looks at Oliver. He goes beet red. jILL Why am I not surprised, Mr. Musketeer? Jill pads to the bathroom and gets in the shower. bABE#2 You guys live in a soap opera. Lets do something. oLIVER Be right with you. Oliver goes to the doorway of the bathroom. oLIVER We cant compete. Every boss wants to fuck you, every client. jILL (from shower) Every colleague. It gets monotonous. (beat) I saved myself for you and Harry. I never, ever took advantage, so far. Jill leans around the shower curtain and gives Oliver an evil grin. oLIVER Theres a new project, all set to go. I havent told Harry. We could run it as partners. JILL (from shower) How do you keep straight who youre double crossing? (beat) Harrys the one with expensive shirts and Im the one with tits? OLIVER I want to move forward. JILL (from shower) Weve hit an iceberg! Women and children into the lifeboats. OLIVER Lets not have a war. You have too many weapons. Jill hops out of the shower and towels off. Harry comes into view over Olivers shoulder. jILL Youre very sexy, Oliver. That still counts for something with me. (laughs) Harry says youre a no talent, evil shit, whod kill either of us to get ahead. oLIVER 0002000005B10000DF065AB,Harrys a pompous, ineffective windbag. He can fall off the hay wagon anytime. Jill walks naked past Oliver back into the living room. Oliver turns to follow Jill and runs right into Harry. oLIVER You cant let me know shes coming up? hARRY She caught me red handed at the fax machine. Jill rummages in her bag and pulls out a little black dress and a pair of heels. OLIVER (to Harry) Excuse us. Were having a conversation. (to Jill) Dont you care? Dont you want to do well after all the time and the effort and the bloodshed? Jill shimmies into the dress and pulls on her shoes and checks herself in the mirror. They watch, stricken. JILL Not like you do. Not enough. HARRY Who is this for? jILL Appearances count, even on the phone. I have to call Chicago. bABE#2 Were dying over here. bABE#1 What have you guys got against fun? oLIVER (to Jill) Are you going back? hARRY If you go, we all have to go. Jill smooths her dress and hitches her boobs. JILL Just think, boys, this was all yours. You just had to say yes. She SLAMS the door on her way out. Harry and Oliver sit and look at each other. bABE#1 Can we please do something. bABE#2 Anything. Lets all get into one bed and see what pops up. hARRY Ladies, what you propose, while delightful on the face of it, exceeds our current powers of concentration. BABE#2 Are you gay? bABE#1 Or impotent? Or both? oLIVER If we want to roll around like livestock weve had better offers. 0002000006BB0000E4B16B5,The Babes sullenly pack up and leave. Harry looks at Oliver. oLIVER I apologize. Youre not ineffective. hARRY I am pompous windbag. It works most of the time. They touch palms in reconciliation. OLIVER Its lucky how things worked out. Chicago has a ton of new business and were the guys to run it. HARRY You dont think weve been set up? OLIVER I sure dont. (beat) How so? HARRY We work for people who preach teamwork and loyalty. We torch a colleague. You dont think it was a trap or a test? OLIVER Jill is the only one who knows what we did. iNT. HOTEL LOBBY - nIGHT Jill strides past the Front Desk. cONCIERGE Miss? jILL Hi! CONCIERGE Sorry to bother you. Another fax. I made three copies. (grins) Can I depend on you to deliver them? JILL Most assuredly. Jill reaches for them but the Concierge holds them back, teasingly. CONCIERGE Read them before you do anything drastic. JILL Thank you. CONCIERGE I have a confession. He taps the row of TV monitors under the desk counter. cONCIERGE (CONTD) Ive been watching you all on the in-house channel. (beat) They deserve anything you can give them. She reads the fax. Her eyebrows shoot up. jILL Is this on the computer? He nods. JILL Can I change it? Play with the numbers? cONCIERGE I love the way your mind works. iNT. office - nIGHT The Concierge directs Jill behind the Front Desk. He pulls up a file on the computer then yields the chair to her. Jill types. The Concierge taps at his own screen at the Front Desk. cONCIERGE Both their phone lines are busy. jILL Area code 312? Chicago? CONCIERGE Bingo. Would you like to listen in? JILL That would be unethical. Jill rips up the original faxes. She prints her document and hands it to the Concierge. 0002000006780000EB66672,JILL Could you make three copies and send them all up to our suite, please. CONCIERGE Be my great pleasure. Jill heads out the door as the Babes emerge from the elevator. They approach the Concierge. bABE#1 Whats going on? bABE#2 Anyone need a party? CONCIERGE Not that Ive seen. Quiet night? bABE#2 We found guys at the pool but they want us to watch them work. bABE#1 They think theyve found something better than sex. cONCIERGE I have faxes for them. You want to take another crack? bABE#1 Wheres the girl? The Concierge nods toward the entrance then waves the faxes. BABE#2 She doesnt waste time on mommas boys. cONCIERGE The mail must go through. Help me out. The Babes take the faxes and head back to the elevator. eXT. HOTEL - nIGHT Jill walks along the beach side of Ocean. A FIGURE pops out of the dark shrubbery. bELLHOP Boooooooo!!!! Guess who? Its the BELLHOP. Jill staggers. jILL Jesus Murphy! BELLHOP Miss... ? I never did get your name. Jill steadies herself. JILL Jill. (beat) We were not introduced. BELLHOP Im Todd. Where you headed? They start to stroll along Ocean Avenue. JILL Im gonna dance myself silly til the sun comes up. todd Then what? JILL I dont know. For me, thats a big deal. I cant wait. TODD Me neither. I just got fired. JILL Im sorry. (beat) All you did was see to the guests needs. TODD Im getting a lawyer. Will you testify? JILL Ill swear under oath youre an excellent fuck. Thats the extent of my competency. Velma and Roberto wave to Jill from across the street. TODD Im not stupid. JILL Of course youre not. tODD People think because I hump their bags I dont know whats going on. 00020000060C0000F1D8606,Roberto and Velma cant get Jills attention so they cross the street and come towards her. tODD The black guy paid for us to put on a show. I want the cash. All of it. jILL (amused) Or else what? Todd moves in front of Jill to block her. He grabs her wrist. TODD One of your boyfriends will fly me to Chicago to tell them what you did today. He rubs his other thumb and forefinger: $$$. JILL (struggles) Which boyfriend? Todd bends Jill to her knees. TODD Whats it to you? Roberto comes up on Todd from behind. He puts him in a choke hold and forces him to the ground. rOBERTO You ready to rumble, tough guy? Todd rolls away, jumps up and flees. vELMA (to Jill) Never underestimate the idea of a black man in the dark. eXT. sidewalk cafe - nIGHT Roberto samples a glass of champagne then gives the okay for it to be poured. rOBERTO A fine year. They toast and drink. Velma checks the vintage. vELMA 1981. You were single and I was thin. (to Jill) Youre both. Take my advice and stay that way. ROBERTO Put those qualities to work. VELMA Roberto sees women as virgins or whores. (beat) You and I know were both. jILL Over and over, as often as we want. Thats what they hate most. Roberto leers at a good looking WOMAN as she strolls past. VELMA (to Jill) Which reminds me, I still havent had my anniversary grudge fuck. Youre invited. JILL I have a date. At least, I hope I do. rOBERTO One of the usual suspects? Jill shakes her head: No. JILL My newest knight on a white horse. Hes going to carry me away on his silver surfboard. 0002000005A70000F7DE5A1,vELMA You know he wont. JILL This one might. I can hope. rOBERTO (to Velma) Why do you say that to this gentle young lady with all her life ahead of her. You can never tell. vELMA You can always depend on men to let you down. jILL I must give romantic love another shot, to see if my instincts still function. I can always find a complacent, self absorbed, corporate jerk later. ROBERTO Come upstairs and play with us. Jill smiles inscrutably. rOBERTO Or we can offer a twosome, your choice. I see Im gonna end up with a one-some or a none-some. VELMA It cuts down on foreplay, never your strength. (beat) By the way, those two you brought down? (chuckles) Pick one and make him your bitch. Throw the other one away. jILL I overplayed my hand and now Im the discard. Roberto stares off at Harry and Oliver who stand at the next cafe, urgently scanning the crowd. ROBERTO (to Jill) Your buddies are next door looking for you. Theyre headed this way. Jill drains her glass and looks for a way out. VELMA Ill stall them. ROBERTO Go inside toward the heads, theres a side door into the alley. (beat) Well be in the hotel if you need us. Roberto tosses Jills glass into the foliage. Jill flees an instant before Oliver and Harry spot Roberto. oLIVER Godammit! roBERTO Same to you, pal. hARRY We hoped to find Jill if we found you. oLIVER We have to have her. (sharp) Where is she? Oliver scans the table for signs of a third party. 0002000005990000FD7F593,vELMA Like I need crap from honky trash like you two? roBERTO (stands) You cant handle your own woman so youre rude to mine? (loud) Fuck you both! You save your manners for white people? Roberto picks up the champagne bottle by the neck and menaces Harry who is ready to faint. VELMA Bust him, Roberto, before he starts up with the N-word. Roberto lunges at Harry as Oliver edges up the sidewalk. ROBERTO Had you going! White guilt! Admit it. (cackles) The Lord has chosen me. Im here on earth to torture white people. Velma signals for more glasses and starts to pour drinks. Roberto reaches around to the back of his belt and produces a pair of HANDCUFFS. ROBERTO (CONTD) You find Jill, you hold on to her. He passes the cuffs to Harry. ROBERTO Bitch owes me a thousand dollars. Bangs the bellhop on me then heals up when its time to put out for real. Fuck her! This country fought a civil war so I wouldnt have to take that bullshit. Velma proposes a toast. vELMA Boom-Boom on demand! Lots of it! They all drink. Harry checks the label appreciatively. ROBERTO Not bad for a black guy? Say it! Be a man! Harry gives the handcuffs a look. hARRY Roberto, we lost a great thespian when you became a bail bondsman or whatever you are. Where the hell is Jill? (beat) Please. vELMA She was all dressed up, hotter than a two dollar pistol. rOBERTO You know the look women have when they want it and theyre gonna get it? 00020000059F00010312599,hARRY She has to see us before she talks to Chicago. oLIVER We did a late fix on our project and the model exploded. The client went nuts. They want to back out. hARRY Jill understands this stuff. I was rude and Im sorry but we have to find her. Velma pours everyone more champagne. HARRY We need her inside the tent, pissing out. vELMA Have a drink. The hotel can call you when she turns up. oLIVER We junked our phones. rOBERTO Whose bright idea was that? OLIVER Jills. ROBERTO (considers) Shes fucking with you. iNT. hOTEL LOBBY - nIGHT Jill approaches the Concierge. jILL I need a minute upstairs. Warn me if my boys come back! cONCIERGE (nods) The ladies are up there now. (beat) The bellhop asks after you. (beat) And theres another message. He hands it to her. JILL The bellhop found me. (reads) The plot thickens. Jill goes to the elevator bank. iNT. hOTEL HALLWAY - nIGHT Jill reaches her door and slides her passkey in. She quietly opens the door. She hears SOUNDS of communal bathing. iNT. hOTEL SUITE - nIGHT Jill tiptoes to the coffee table. She finds two faxes opened with notations and a third, addressed to her, still in its envelope. The phone RINGS and is picked up in the bathroom. bABE#2 (into phone, muffled) No, shes still not here. Jill puts the three faxes in her purse then sits to read a series of notes and calculations on hotel stationery. She LAUGHS then puts those notes in her purse too. 0002000005A7000108AB5A1,Babe#1 appears in the bathroom doorway, dripping and naked. bABE#1 You cant leave. (beat) Were not supposed to let you go. Babe#2 looks over the shoulder of Babe#1. bABE#2 You better not touch those papers. Jill kicks off her shoes. She picks them up and walks toward the bathroom. jILL Lets all get in the bath, if we have a few minutes to kill. The Babes turn to the bathroom. Jill is out the door in a flash. iNT. hOTEL HALLWAY - Jill sprints for the elevators. The Babes pursue her, naked and confused. Jill presses the elevator button. Theres no car and the Babes are closing so she takes the stairs. iNT. stairwell - Jill legs it down the stairs, holding her shoes and SHRIEKING with laughter. The naked Babes are in hot pursuit. iNT. hOTEL LOBBY - night Jill bursts into the empty lobby and races to the front desk. jILL (out of breath) Can you delete everything I did on the computer. No traces. cONCIERGE Gottit. Anything else? JILL I must run. Jill sprints out the door as the Babes BURST into the lobby. eXT. hOTEL - nIGHT Jill skips down the steps. Harry and Oliver spot her from half a block away and run towards her. Jill jumps into a PEDICAB. JILL Go! As fast as you can up the street. iNT. pedicab - nIGHT The DRIVER stands on the pedals and pulls away. Jill turns to look back at Harry and Oliver who chug after her in the street. For a moment they almost catch up. hARRY (huffing) Jill! I can explain. jILL I know. 00020000065000010E4C64A,oLIVER (puffing) Jill, we need you! JILL I know that, too! (laughs) The Pedicab pulls away. Jill looks at the Driver who stares at her. Hes beautiful and ripped. jILL (mumbles) Dear God, please no! driver You okay? Jill checks for Oliver and Harry who fade away. JILL Stop! I must get out. Dont let me say a word, I beg you. The Driver pulls the pedicab over. Jill throws money at him and flees. eXT. pay phone - night Jill watches the SoBe scene and listens to the phone ring. answering machine (O.S.) (picks up) Hi. Im not here or Im meditating. Either way, leave me something nice. (beeps) jILL (into phone) Hi yourself. Its your eleven oclock. Pick up the bloody phone, please. lIFEGUARD (O.C.) (picks up) Hi. I hoped it was you. JILL (into phone) It is. Shall I come over? LIFEGUARD (O.C.) (over phone) Its not safe. Can we use your place? JILL (into phone) My place is diabolical. Lets meet and see where the night takes us. LIFEGUARD (O.C.) (over phone) In thirty minutes, be on the corner of eighth and ocean, by the News Cafe. JILL Im the one dressed for cocktails. The phone clicks off. Jill hoists a nearby MANS wrist and checks his watch. iNT. dance club - nIGHT Spandex, spangles, sparkles and steam. Plus all the FOAM you can eat. Jill pairs off with a CUBAN MESOMORPH and they strut their dance moves for each other. Jill mounts a TRAPEZE that flies over the dance floor and she FLASHES the CROWD. WOMEN and MEN compete to hand her drinks. Oliver and Harry watch, stunned, from below. oLIVER Im gonna say those five magic words: Who the fuck IS that? hARRY What were we thinking? 0002000006120001149660C,oLIVER Its like finding out your wife of twenty years has been spying for the Russians. (beat) She needs help. hARRY Shes having fun. Shell come home when shes ready. OLIVER We dont have that long. HARRY This is true. They start toward the trapeze but an enormous BOUNCER grabs them each by their collar. bouncer We are not a zoo! HARRY Get your hands off me. oLIVER Youve picked on the wrong guys. Oliver and Harry FLAIL but the Bouncer just tightens up. BOUNCER If you want to watch, go to a strip joint. This place is for real people. Jill spots the DISTURBANCE from the trapeze and recognizes Harry and Oliver. She jumps down and races past them out the front door. eXT. ocean avenue - nIGHT Jill hurries south on the sidewalk. Oliver and Harry fumble after her. Jill checks out a store window and lets them catch up. hARRY Jill, let me start by saying how sorry I am we got sideways with each other. jILL Were fine. (to Oliver) Ollie! You look ill. Are you okay? (beat) What about your dates? I want all the sordid, tacky details. Jill herds them toward the News Cafe and the corner of 8th and Ocean. HARRY Can you believe twenty four hours ago we were unclogging the copy machine and setting up a bonding adventure. JILL I unclogged the copier. You watched. You prefer to watch, Harry. OLIVER Somethings wrong with our project. JILL Morally or technically? Harry LAUGHS, a bit too enthusiastically. OLIVER (to Jill) I cant decide what I resent more. That youre smart or that youre sexy. hARRY Children, please! Were in public. 00020000053B00011AA2535,JILL You dont want sexy or smart, Oliver. You just want to be on top. Harry gently pulls Jill to the side, out of Olivers hearing. hARRY (whispers) Hey! Somebody is going to survive this. It may as well be you and me. (beat) Youre the only one who understands it enough to fix it. Im the only one you can even begin to trust. They reach the News Cafe then 8th Street. Oliver goes to Jills other side, away from Henry. oLIVER (whispers) No one buys Harrys act anymore but you and I can pull this off. You do the fixes. Ill get them past Chicago. The Lifeguard ZIPS up on an Italian Scooter and smiles at Jill. She gives her boys each a peck on the lips then swings a leg over the passenger seat and hikes up her skirt. They ROAR off. Oliver and Harry stand there dumbstruck. HARRY What just happened? OLIVER Sooner or later she has to make peace with one of us. eXT. news CAFE - nIGHT They sit at a table and order drinks. oLIVER Where are the latest faxes? With all the new numbers? hARRY In the room on the coffee table. (beat) We need them to prove we didnt make it all up. Oliver looks around for a phone. OLIVER Ill have our ladies secure them. HARRY Ill walk back and get them. OLIVER Ill go with you. hARRY If you feel its necessary. OLIVER Just to be sure. They throw some bills on the table and start back. 0002000005B500011FD75AF,A SCREAMING BLUR comes toward them on the street. The Lifeguards Scooter ROARS past. A STREAM of champagne BLASTS Harry and Oliver as they stand there. eXT. ocean avenue - night On the back of the speeding SCOOTER, Jill swigs Champagne then hands the bottle forward to the Lifeguard. lIFEGUARD (shouts) Where to? jILL Surprise me! Up ahead, a STREET SWEEPER scours the deserted Avenue with its high powered water jets. The Lifeguard BLASTS them through the wall of water and it almost knocks them over. He and Jill SCREAM in ecstasy. The Lifeguard pulls over. They LAUGH, then KISS. LIFEGUARD I shouldnt. jILL I insist. (pouts) Dont be selfish. LIFEGUARD Where can we go? JILL Why dont you just show me the ocean. The Lifeguard GUNS the scooter and ROARS up a sand dune and gets stuck. They roll off and LAUGH and hug and kiss. eXT. beach - nIGHT They watch the moonlight and passing SHIPS. lIFEGUARD Youre not like most women who want to fuck a lifeguard. jILL I bet Im not. (beat) Im not like anybody. Its a problem. LIFEGUARD Where you from? JILL London. LIFEGUARD Where do you live? JILL Chicago. LIFEGUARD People walk at a forty five degree angle there from leaning into the wind. JILL They do call it the windy city. LIFEGUARD Whats your job? JILL I take numbers and I smash them with a rolling pin until they are absolutely meaningless then I give them back. LIFEGUARD Thats supposed to be fun? JILL Its supposed to make me rich. 00020000056800012586562,(beat) I want my real life to start but it wont. (smiles) Whats your excuse? LIFEGUARD I dont need an excuse. I get paid more than a teacher, plus great benefits, a pension, overtime. I get to meet you. JILL Aha! Who am I? LIFEGUARD Another woman who wants a whole relationship in one night so she can get back to work. Jill traces a design in the sand. JILL Swim? She doesnt wait for an answer. She peels off her little black dress. Theres nothing underneath. LIFEGUARD This is where I work! You cant prance around buck naked. Jill straddles him. She unbuttons his shirt and undoes his fly. JILL If this were my office, Id risk everything for whats between us right now. Come to Chicago and Ill prove it. We see the glowing cigarettes and liquor bottles of people along the beach, too far away to cause concern. Jill runs her hands over Todds magnificent chest then she pulls his pants off. He tries to resist but cant. jILL Shall we swim first? lIFEGUARD First? Are you completely cuckoo? JILL I hope so. Cmon! eXT. OCEAN - NIGHT She leads him into the shimmering ocean. They swim. Jill jumps up and COILS herself around him. They tip over into the surf and rescue each other from drowning. eXT. beach - nIGHT They get halfway out of the water before they SURRENDER. They take turns pounding each other into the sand in a shocking RELEASE of lust and affection. 000200000B7200012AE8B6C,A wave CRASHES in and they both get a dose of salt water. After much SPUTTERING and HACKING they haul one another to higher ground and resume their fun. The sun peeks over the horizon. Theyre asleep, entwined like garter snakes. eXT. bEACH - crack of dawn An old BEACHCOMBER sweeps his metal detector for treasure. A TRACTOR rakes the beach on a collision course with Jill and the Lifeguards sleeping bodies. The DRIVER drinks his coffee and yawns. He doesnt see them. Jill and the Lifeguard are out cold. The tractor hits a BUMP. The driver spills his hot coffee and SMASHES the horn in pain. tRACTOR DRIVER Goddamn son of a bitch! Jill sits bolt upright, buck naked. The tractor stops an inch from the Lifeguard, who doesnt flinch. beachcomber Hes dead! She done fucked him to death! Early EXERCISERS gawk and point. Jill gives the Guard a serious shake. Jill stands, naked, and looks to the GAWKERS. JILL Id love a cigarette. Anyone? Todd gets to his knees. Jill hunts for their clothes. lIFEGUARD What time is it? Jesus! My scooter!! JILL The scooter is with our clothes. How far did we get after we took them off? (to gawkers) We lost a little black dress, high heels, and a lime green Italian mo-ped. The Guard stands, also naked, and joins the hunt. tractor driver You want the cops? lIFEGUARD God, no! Jill kicks through the wild oats and down the other side of the dunes. Nothing. jILL Those were my favorite shoes. eXT. oCEAN AVENUE - early morning Jill and the Guard pick their way along the sidewalk. They hold clumps of wild sea oats over their privates. lIFEGUARD I cant afford a Code 33. Its a new job and a new girlfriend. jILL Whats Code 33? TODD Sex on the beach. Its usually masturbation or weenie wagging but Im sure were covered. JILL Relax. Were the victims on this one. Jill leads them across Ocean Ave to their hotel. eXT. hOTEL - eARLY MORNING The morning BUSTLE revs up. Several EMPLOYEES try to block Jill and the Guard from entering. jILL Im a registered guest. Weve been robbed. (laughs) It was terrible. Jill pulls the Guard into the hotel. iNT. hOTEL LOBBY - eARLY MORNING Oliver and Harry doze in club chairs by the front desk. They spring to their feet on Jills and the Guards naked arrival. jILL We got mugged. Can you imagine? hARRY They took your clothes? JILL Everything. This is Todd. Would one of you gents get him a bathrobe and a pair of shorts? Please. lIFEGUARD Im a thirty one waist. oLIVER (to Jill) What about you? Another black dress so you can continue your rampage? cONCIERGE (waves phone) Miss! In the grass! Phone call! Chicago!! Jill smiles at Oliver and Harry and goes to take the call. jILL (into phone) Hello, its me. The prodigal banker. (listens) Jill gestures at a pad and pen. The Concierge passes them to her. Jill sets her clumps of oat grass on the counter and starts to write notes and numbers on the pad. She smiles at Oliver and Harry. 0002000005B6000136545B0,An EMPLOYEE arrives with bed sheets. The Guard wraps himself in one. Jill listens on the phone and writes. Oliver tries to read Jills notes but Jill blocks him. hARRY (to Jill) We knew youd have to save our bacon. Jill shushes Harry so she can listen on the phone. JILL (into phone) Right. Immediately. Ive already started. (listens) Talk soon. And thank you. She looks meaningfully at Harry and Oliver. jILL Chicago. Jill hangs up the phone, folds her notes and swirls the sheet around her shoulders with a FLOURISH. JILL Ta-Da!! All gone! (beat) I miss anything? oLIVER As you well know... JILL I know nothing. Ive been out. OLIVER It seems ... (beat) Why dont you tell us what they told you on the phone. JILL Im not presently disposed to discuss it. hARRY (interrupts) This things a mess. A big time mess. oLIVER Its an ill wind blowing no one any good. JILL It was fine when I left. Who decided to fix it without me? Oliver looks to Harry who looks back at Oliver. jILL I see. (beat) Do yourselves a favor, no more improvements. Jill turns to the Lifeguard. lIFEGUARD What about my scooter? JILL I can help you pay for it, if it comes to that. (grins) It never does. She gives him a big KISS. JILL (CONTD) Cheer up! Motor bikes are like girls. Theres always another one coming across the sand He kisses her. They hug. LIFEGUARD Keep warm up there. Jill heads for the elevator. Harry and Oliver let her go then suddenly trot after her. 00020000059700013C04591,hARRY Jill, we need to sort things out, before its too late. jILL Its never too late. oLIVER I, for one, havent done a thing right since we left. I apologize. jILL I pushed things too far too fast. I wasnt thinking. The elevator opens and they get in. iNT. eLEVATOR - Jill pushes the button. They look at each other. hARRY We all need to do better. jILL I promise to become more inhibited and less spontaneous. hARRY Thats crazy! Youre perfect. oLIVER It would help a lot. Really. jILL This isnt the first time Ive terrorized innocent men. (beat) Did the pool ladies give up on you? hARRY There were severe cultural differences. oLIVER We were five hundred dollars apart. (beat) How was your date? jILL Unspoiled. Eager to please. The elevator stops and the doors open. iNT. hOTEL HALLWAY Jill locks arms with them as they march down the hall. hARRY Our sole purpose in bringing you down here was for some off campus fun. oLIVER Our intentions were solid. jILL No ones complaining. hARRY This is, after all, a business. JILL Ours is a commercial relationship. oLIVER Were glad you see it that way. They reach their suite and go in. iNT. sUITE - dAWN Jill goes to the minibar and hands out beers. jILL Im afraid to sober up. She takes a healthy pull on hers and starts to pack. hARRY We want to make a deal with you. JILL We have a deal. All for one, one for all and every man for himself. Musketeers. HARRY 0002000006230001419561D,Its in everyones interest to have this work. JILL I get nervous when youre generous. oLIVER We dont come empty handed. We have something to offer. JILL Im all ears. Silence. Jill turns slightly away and drops her sheet. She puts on a sports bra and shorts. She finds her rollerblades. OLIVER Chicago wants to know what happened down here. We can present a united front and hold off a verdict. JILL What for? hARRY We demand another project, all three of us together. We stay on an equal footing. OLIVER And kill each other all over again. jILL (smiles) Or else? Oliver and Harry are pained but resolute. oLIVER So we werent the best teammates. You nail us, well nail you. For sabotage. hARRY Conduct unbecoming. We might not win but youll have a lot to deny. JILL Give it a shot. hARRY We know you fudged the numbers to make us look bad. We cant tell how you did it. Jill picks up her bag and blades and walks to the door. JILL You dont look bad, you look stupid. She walks out the door. Harry turns to Oliver. HARRY Whose idea was all this? OLIVER It wasnt mine. It happened on its own. HARRY Jill said lets go somewhere, the three of us. We suggested Miami. OLIver You think she set us up? Knowing wed behave badly? HARRY Im not that paranoid, but why else go through all this? OLIVER (thinks) She feeds us a fake problem with phoney numbers. HARRY We not just backstabbers. Were incompetent backstabbers. iNT. hOTEL LOBBY - dAWN Jill swings by the Concierge on her way out. JILL Hold everything, please. Ill be back in an hour to check out. 0002000005A8000147B25A2,cONCIERGE Back up north? JILL (nods) I suppose so. I may give everything away and join a convent. CONCIERGE (frowns) We need people like you. Jill checks her bags and walks out the door. eXT. south beach - dAWN Ocean Avenue wakes up. Jill blades past WAITERS as they hose patios and set up tables. eXT. bEACH - dAWN Jill runs barefoot in the surf. She races a tractor as it rakes the beach. Jill stops to watch a Sea Turtle RESCUE TEAM collect eggs and baby turtles. She makes a little camp at the same Lifeguards tower. Jill walks to a pay phone and dials a call. jILL (into phone) Hi, sorry to call so early but Im starting to clip the treetops. (listens) No, theyre both at the hotel. (listens) Youd have to ask them. I have no idea. (listens) We did it that way so it becomes a writeoff in two years instead of five. (listens) Right, always. Thats what everybody does and thats how they all get into trouble. (listens, hops up and down) Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! (listens) No, thank you! I really appreciate this! It means everything to me. Jill hangs up the phone. She PUMPS her fist in the air. She checks up and down the beach. Empty. She wiggles out of her bathing suit and flings it at the guard tower. Jill runs into the surf and swims out to the safety buoys. She comes out of the water and falls fast asleep. eXT. hOTEL - eARLY MORNING Roberto and Velma load their luggage into a Limo. Oliver and Harry approach. 00020000065400014D5464E,oLIVER Have you seen Jill? rOBERTO I keep telling you. Nope. hARRY She has a message for us. Its important. vELMA (to Oliver and Harry) Better luck next trip. (to Roberto) I want another look at the ocean. rOBERTO (to Velma) Take your time. Velma crosses the street. rOBERTO (to Oliver and Harry) You are one pair of sorry motherfuckers. You embarrass me and not much does. hARRY Thanks for sharing. Well be going. ROBERTO I started this whole thing by telling her what you little fucks were up to. oLIVER Shes fine with us, youll see. eXT. bEACH - eARLY MORNING Velma buys a Coke from a machine and walks onto the beach. TOURISTS stare down at Jills inert form on the sand. Velma heads over as an EMS TEAM rushes past her to Jill, followed by several COPS. They lay out stretchers and oxygen tanks. Jill comes to on her own and tries to shake the cobwebs out. EMS#1 Are you okay? What happened? jILL Someone stole my bathing suit. I was too tired to stop them. cop#1 Did you get in trouble in the water? Are you epileptic? vELMA (leans in) Say yes!! (to Cop) Shes always having seizures, poor girl. Rips her clothes off then passes out. Velma hands Jill the Coke. vELMA (whispers) Tell em what they want to hear. cop#2 Do you have ID? Do you know who you are? jILL I used to. Im not so sure any more. More COPS arrive, with the BELLHOP and the LIFEGUARD. Oliver and Harry hurry over with FLOWERS and CHAMPAGNE. Roberto brings up the rear. oLIVER Chicago says talk to you. Oliver extends the flowers. Harry pours the champagne. hARRY Congratulations! Well done! OLIVER You deserve it. Seriously. COP#3 000200000B6B000153A2B65,Weve had complaints. Public nudity. Sexual assault. Destruction of protected plant life. JILL This is a nude beach, as long as I dont display my genitals, which I have not. As for the plants, I owe you a clump of grass. lIFEGUARD Its not okay to be naked on the street. (beat) I could lose my job and my girlfriend over this. Ive already lost my motor bike. bellhop You assaulted me while he watched! (indicates Roberto) Ive given you every opportunity to make it up to me. cOP#3 (to Jill) There will be a charge of aggravated sexual assault, maybe rape, possibly even kidnapping. Roberto steps up into the circle. Velma dials her phone. rOBERTO This kids a liar. Hes tried to shake me down. COP#3 Shut up! Youre an accomplice in three felonies. Roberto pulls a DVD from his pocket. ROBERTO The hotel made me a souvenir recording of the event in question. Lets go have a look. Ill supply the cigars. Oliver and Harry turn and flee back to the hotel. They pass the RASTAFARIAN band members who sprint toward Velma. Jill steps into her bathing suit. Roberto WHISPERS to the Rastas. The Rastas encircle the Cops and CHANT: rastas No justice! No peace! No justice! No peace! The Cops reconsider and melt away. The Lifeguard and the Bellhop slink behind them. Jill hugs Roberto and Velma and they all walk back towards the hotel. eXT. hOTEL Oliver and Harry pace and watch the beach for a sign of Jill. Jill appears with Roberto and Velma. Harry and Oliver run to greet her. hARRY It would have been a hell of a deal if our brand new vice-president got busted her first day. oLIVER What would we tell Chicago? It would look as though we set it up. jILL To tell you the truth, this whole thing was a set up. You never had a chance. OLIVER Bullshit! hARRY What are you talking about? jILL Salesmen and office politicians are a dime a dozen. Chicago wants worker bees. (beat) Chicago thought youd both quit rather than work for a woman with an accent. They think about this. HARRY What about the threesome? JILL That was real. I was hoping for a reason to keep you around. oLIVER We got testosterone poisoning. HARRY Youre the winner. You get a piece of the action, V.P. stripes, all the perks. oLIVER You can order us to do anything you want. We work for you, or one of us does. jILL You always did even if you didnt know it. But you can stand easy. OLIVER How? JILL Im willing to fuck my colleagues but not to screw them. Im not going back. Jill fishes out her company credit cards and ID and hands them all to Harry. jILL Sign me out when you get back up there. And learn some math, please. Thats what business is about these days. hARRY Im supposed to be surprised but Im not. You were never one of us. oLIVER What are you going to do? Jill starts to walk away then turns back. jILL Im going to move somewhere warm and start over again as a virgin. (beat) With my experience Ill be a natural. 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(O.S.) (O.C.) (CONT'D) (SUBTITLE) (CONTD)*HsTTR Cut To: Fade In: Fade Out. Fade To: Dissolve To: Back To: Match Cut To: Jump Cut To:Fade To Black..sTSINIntExtI/Ee.%conference room hallway$ acme rental car at miami airport!I-395 Causeway to miami beachmiami airport runway convertible causeway hotel hotel lobby hotel hallway hotel suite bathroombedroom doorway bedroom SUITE elevator lobby barbathroom showerroberto & velmas suite hotel poolhotel lobbyDAYsouth beach beachocean avenue outdoor cafe news cafestone wall along bike path sidewalk cafe stairwell pedicab pay phone pay phone- dance club ocean avenue beach OCEANsouth beach/ocean avenue south beach office0sTSTDay Night Afternoon Morning Evening Later Moments Later Continuous The Next Day crack of dawn middaylate afternoon early eveningdusk night dawn early morningBmCRO9INTINT. Scene Heading01119EXTEXT. 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Suggestion*?Courier Final Draft (MORE)(CONT'D) (CONTINUED) CONTINUED:aCTR: EMan 10`Q|g({DESTmtk3FEMan 20`]DVmtk3GGWoman 10pQ|g({DESTgalaG[GWoman 20ԑPO|u`mtk3GEBoy 10ԑPO|u`mtk3GEBoy 20ԑPO|u`mtk3H8FGirl 10ԑPO|u`mtk3HFGirl 20pQ|g({DESTmtk3HGOld Man0`]DVmtk3)II Old Woman0pQ|g({DESTgala@IdeE9 CHARACTERDIALOGUEo5 Helvetica W?Courier Final Draft 6 Cast List.  - dR1/831 5/81/82/82 6/84/81/85/821 4/86/827/81 1/81 1/81 5/82 6/81 2/83/83/811 2/84/81 6/84/824/86/85/84/81/81 3/83 3/85/86 6/81/87/81/817/82/84/81 2/86/81 6/81 6/83/83 7/811 3/824 4/84/81/86/82/82/83/82/86/87/81 1/81 5/86/86/81 7/82/83/81 1/84/82/82 6/86/84/824/82/86/87/82 3/81 5/8PAGEQ145558999121314161718192023242525262728293032323334343435393946464747484949505152545556606162646969697070707171727274757677787979808081848485878787888991FFFF000000060002000177AA0000000000640000000020001101-7F7C67000480048-25F2D32073DC-10E272D328BFFFF010180B0000010000003E000000010B0408105F6F2D3243A403880002C5DF2D313F00002000000B500000000B0, SOUTH BEACH STORY by Arden Ostrander June 4, 2003 Arden Ostrander 401 NE 16th Ave #4 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954 648 2488 ardenostrander@hotmail.com0004000000320000000A021631F52834944F6584966A44B2400050000000F0000000301492B2000060000016A0000000740C310FFFF0C00000 10 10930FFFF0C00000 20 101160FFFF01800000 E0 10D40FFFF01200000 40 10A40FFFF0E00000 90 10D40FFFF01200000 10-1010A40FFFF0E00000 20-100007000000540000000301018010480 10180480 101800008000001560000000240,Geneva40,Times New Roman1240314E407010101040,Courier40,Courier Final Draft12401614E4070101010000900000005000000020000A0000001B00000002E2732628BE2732628B000B00000005000000020000C0000001800000001B0882AA6F27601000F000000590000000050E010 104, 4, 4,4, 4, |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eneva40,Times New Roman1240314E407010101040,Courier40,Courier Final Draft12401614E4070101010000900000005000000020000A00000013000000020F2640F264000B00000005000000020000C0000000A0000000101000F0000005500000000400 10 104, 4,4, @4, 4,4,Conv4,00130000007E00000000DA91F8CE1C1D1E1F7F1B044,-..'"FFFF0FFFF0012800000009000000015001290000000900000001500014000000AC000000001C1B685C1DE204211C1B6C02C,E,42,>Page # {< p x p   FFFE000000060002000177AADYFFFF000000060002000177AA00000000004B0000000020001101-7F7C67000480048-20C0-10 C264FFFF0100001000000330000000101408105AC20A038E000203C20A0000200000005000000001, 0004000000090000000201300005000000090000000201300006000000650000000210C310FFFF0C00000 10 10930FFFF0C00000 30 00070000003800000002010180205A0 101800008000001560000000240,Geneva40,Times New Roman1240314E407010101040,Courier40,Courier Final Draft12401614E4070101010000900000005000000020000A00000013000000020C2640C264000B00000005000000020000C0000000B00000001071000F0000005500000000400 10 104, 4,4,4,4,4,4,456700130000007E00000000DA91F8CE1C1D1E1F7F1B044,-..'"FFFF0FFFF001280000000900000001300129000000090000000130FFFE000000060002000177AADQ6$$8