Int. - Emergency room - Night
It's a normal night at the hospital as KYLE JOHANSON cleans up blood soaked floors in the emergency room.
Three people are in the waiting area tending to their wounds.  They are CHAD SMITH, who has a finger missing, LAUREN MICHAELS, who is massively pregnant, and DANIEL DANILES, who has a nervous twitch in his eye and neck.
Suddenly there is a BANG on the door!  Everyone looks up, SURPRISED.  Outside the door, there is a large crowd of deformed OLD LADIES with OSTEOPOROSIS. 
The lady nearest the door has two broken arms from HITTING the GLASS, which is now cracked.
Kyle
What the hell?!
Daniel and Chad stand up and cautiously walk toward the door.  Kyle moves toward Lauren.
The next old lady reaches the door.  She raises her arms and SLAMS them into the glass.  Both her arms SNAP and a HOLE is formed in the glass.
The old ladies are CHANTING!
OLD LAdies
MEDICARE!  MEDICARE!  MEDICARE!
KYLE
Shit!  This does not look good.  Everyone into the back room.
Kyle, Daniel, and Chad all begin heading toward the back room.  Lauren is stuck in her chair and cannot get up due to her pregnancy.  No one takes notice to her.
Another old lady HITS the glass and it SHATTERS to pieces.  The mob begins to slowly shuffle into the hospital.
Lauren tries desperately to get up, but to no avail.  The men run through the back door and SLAM it shut.
The first old lady reaches Lauren and she SHOVES the fragile body backwards.  The old lady falls and many bones are heard BREAKING.
LAuren
Get away!
She tries again to get up, but this time she becomes surrounded by old ladies.  Lauren SCREAMS.
Int. - Doctor's office - night
Kyle, Daniel, and Chad BURST through a door and run into the doctor's office, SLAMMING the door shut.  DR. JONES looks up calmly.
Dr. Jones
What is it now Kyle?  Who are you two?
Kyle
Old ladies are...Oh no!  We left that pregnant woman behind!  Should we go...
DR. JONES
What pregnant lady?  What old ladies?
Daniel
Old ladies are attacking the hospital!  They made it into the emergency room!
DR. JONES
Describe them please.
The three look confused at the doctor, who is still calm.
Chad
Why?
DR. JONES
Just describe them!
CHAD
Well they're old, kind of crooked and deformed, and their arms certainly seem to break easily.
The doctor's calmness breaks and he rests his face in his hands.
DR. JONES
I knew this day would come.  They're yelling for Medicare, right?
CHAD
Yes, how'd you know?
DR. JONES
This is a long day coming.  Ever since Medicare was canceled, I've been waiting.  I only hoped that it would not have happened so soon.
The three men look on curiously.
Kyle
What can we do?
DR. JONES
If only it was tomorrow.  You see the ladies all have osteoporosis, hence the arms breaking.  They can't afford their medical bill so they are rioting.  It was only a matter of time.  I have a shipment of milk coming, but it's due in tomorrow morning.
KYLE
(Astonished)
But why milk?
DR. JONES
It'll heal their bones and make them healthy again.  It's the only way.  We must hold out for the night or else mankind is doomed.
A SLAM is heard.
Daniel
Oh no!  They've gotten through!
DR. JONES
Don't worry, I have some things we can use to try and make it though.
He goes into a side locker behind his desk and pulls out a SHOTGUN.  He hands it to Kyle.
DR. JONES
Here you use this.
Next he pulls out a SLEDGE HAMMER and gives it to Chad.
DR. JONES
This is for you.
Daniel is handed a TWO-BY-FOUR with a NAIL sticking out of it.
DR. JONES
This should work well.
Lastly, Dr. Jones pulls out a CHAIN SAW.
DR. JONES
And this is for me.
He chuckles softly to himself.
DR. JONES
Everyone ready?
Every poises ready as Dr. Jones starts his chain saw.  At that exact moment, the door CRASHES open and old ladies stand in the doorway. 
For a moment, there is a standstill.  Then, Kyle SHOOTS his shotgun into the crowd and the front line of old ladies EXPLODES.
KYLE
LET'S GO!
The four men CHARGE into the hallway.
Int. - hallway - mOMENTS LATER
1. Dr. Jones SWINGS his chain saw, sending the LIMBS of old ladies flying.
2. Daniel connects the nail of his two-by-four into the head of an innocent looking old lady.
3. The sledge hammer CRACKS hard against the back of an old lady crawling on the ground.
4. An old lady's head disappears after a BLAST from Kyle's shotgun.
5. The progress of the four men can be seen amongst the many ladies.  They are about halfway to the end of the hall.
6. Swinging his wooden plank, Daniel misses an old lady.  At that moment, his head twitches violently and he SLIPS on a puddle of blood on the floor.  Almost immediately, he is engulfed in old ladies.
7. Dr. Jones sees Daniel go down.
DR. JONES
We move on without him!
8. He RAMS his chain saw into the face of an old lady.
DR. JONES
(Triumphantly)
We're almost there!
9. Chad HAMMERS an old lady in the knees and a disgusting CRACK results.
10. Kyle aims his shotgun at an old lady and pulls the trigger, but it only CLICKS.  He is out of ammo.  Instead he swings the gun around and SMACKS the lady in the face.
11. The men reach the door, soaked in blood, and use the sledge hammer to BREAK through it.
Ext. - hOSPITAL - daybreak
Dr. Jones, Kyle, and Chad EXIT the front of the hospital in a hurry.  Daylight creeps into view, as they stand relieved and exhausted.
As the darkness of the night brightens, an even larger hoard of old ladies stand in front of the men.
The men, scared, look at each other and nod before lifting their weapons to fight.
A OIL RIG flies up the road to the hospital, running over numerous old ladies in the process.  It STOPS in front of the three men and a MILKMAN gets out.
Milkman
You fella's order some milk.
DR. JONES
(Confidently)
Yes we did.
MILKMAN
There's a hose attached to the back.  Do what you have to.
Dr. Jones walks to the back of the truck and swings down a HOSE.  Chad and Kyle join him and all three BRACE the hose as Dr. Jones points it at the old ladies.
DR. JONES
Let's give 'em what they want.
He YANKS the lever and milk POUNDS into the old ladies.  They tumble down to the ground and start moaning in pain.
After a while of SPRAYING, the hose is turned off.  What remains is a large mass of old ladies lying on the ground.  The majority of them have broken bones and they are all YELLING in agony!
The three men look BEWILDERED and the milkman is horrified.
DR. JONES
Umm...that was not what I expected to happen.
From the hospital, Daniel and Lauren exit.
They are both wearing large knitted sweaters and have lipstick marks on their cheeks.
DR. JONES
What are you two doing alive?
DaNIEL
The old ladies weren't very evil.
LaUREN
Yeah.  The worse part was the fact that we have to wear these sweaters or else feel guilty for making them do all the work knitting them for nothing.
DANIEL
That and the lipstick kisses.
LAUREN
Oh yeah!  That too.
Daniel and Lauren look at the mass of agonizing old ladies in front of them.
DANIEL
Guess that wasn't very necessary.
Dr. Jones, Kyle, Chad, Daniel, Lauren, and the milkman all laugh at this, but it is barely audible over the pain-filled SCREAMS of the old ladies.
FADE OUT.