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                          THE LUNCHROOM                                
                               
                          Episode Five
               "Guess Who's Coming Out at Dinner?"

                                
                           Written by
                        Melinda Waterman 
                        & Bruce Snyder                              
                                                                                              
                               
                           Created by
                          Bruce Snyder                                
                                
                                                               
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Bruce Snyder
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Vincent Biga
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Edward Drogos
                                
                          STORY EDITOR
                         Rebecca Parker

                                

                                 
                                 CAST LIST

		Will Cooper.................................
		Joel Mayberry...............................
		Brian Vandele...............................
		Brock Warner................................
		Reicther....................................
		Casey Jennings..............................
		Chris Hughes................................
		Ellen Conner................................
		Cathy Matthews..............................
		Mr. John Parker.............................
		Ms. Diane Ballard...........................

 
                              GUEST CAST LIST


		Jordan Jones................................
		Athaliah Jones..............................
		Father Joseph Birmingham....................
		Kay Johnson.................................
		Lois Warner................................. 
 







     Copyright  Bruce Snyder 

     TEASER

     FADE IN:

     EXT. SCHOOL  HALLWAY  AFTER SCHOOL

     WILL COOPER, REICTHER, and CHRIS HUGHES are all 
     gathered around JOEL MAYBERRY. Joel is sitting on the 
     floor looking very sad and lonely. The other three are 
     standing around, trying their best to cheer him up.

                                CHRIS
                    C'mon, Joel. Don't you want to go 
                    by the shake shop?

      Joel ignores them and seems to be quietly humming Bob 
      Dylan's "Like a Rolling Stone."

                                CHRIS
                    This is scary I've never seen Joel 
                    Like this before.

                                REICTHER
                    Yeah usually you're the one that's 
                    Grumpy and no fun to be around. But 
                    now you've passed onto him like a 
                    cold or something.
 
                                WILL
                    Oh! I know what will cheer him up! 

     Will starts giggling like a little girl.

                                WILL
                    Reicther, what's the capital of 
                    Thailand?

     Reicther thinks.

                                REICTHER
                    Uh, I don't know...um I think it's 
                    New Delhi.

                                WILL
                               (angry)
                    No! You're suppose to say Bangkok.

     Just as he finishes Reicther punches him in the balls. 
     Will falls to the ground in pain. Reicther laughs in 
     victory.

                                REICTHER
                    You tried to pull that on me? I 
                    INVENTED that move!

                                CHRIS
                    Doesn't matter. Joel is still sad.

     Reicther turns and sees Chris is right: Joel is still 
     signing and being sad.

                                REICTHER
                    Didn't work? That moment was so 
                    great I think I need to change my 
                    pants.

     Chris rolls his eyes. Will tries to stand and continues 
     to hold his crouch.

                                WILL
                    Uh-oh. Look out, Jesus Freak at Five 
                    O'clock.

     They all turn and see JORDAN JONES coming their way. 
     He's slightly taller since last we saw him. He's buzzed 
     off all his hair and has a small goatee on his chin.

                                CHRIS
                    Shit. And here I was thinking I 
                    could avoid him until after 
                    graduation.

                                WILL
                    God, when's the last time we've 
                    seen him?
 
                                CHRIS
                    Two years ago...by your locker. 
                    Remember?

     FLASHBACK:

     INT. HALLWAY  WILL'S LOCKER  TWO YEARS AGO

     TOM LAWRENCE stands in front of Will's locker, 
     proclaiming his love to Jordan who stands surprised. At 
     the end of the hall, Will and Chris peek their heads out 
     of the corner to spy on the action.

     Tom leans in to Jordan and kisses him on his lips. Chris 
     and Will look on, astounded.

					WILL
			Well isn't that ironic and disturbing 
			enough to be describing it to a shrink.

					CHRIS
			Yep.

					WILL
			Let's go tell him before he freaks 
			out.

     They start to walk to Jordan and Tom, who is pulling away 
     from Jordan after the kiss.

					TOM
				(smiling)
			Well.

     Jordan stands there for a moment, then all of a sudden 
     Jordan gives Tom a kiss, moving him up against the locker.

     Chris and Will stop in their tracks. Stunned, Will and 
     Chris turn around and walk the other way. In the background 
     Tom and Jordan still kiss.

					CHRIS
			Your locker is seeing a lot of action,
			Will.

					WILL
			Shut the fuck up!

								 CUT TO:

     INT. HALLWAY - PRESENT

                                WILL
                    Oh yeah! Weird how I totally just 
                    forget about something as 
                    frightening as that.

     Jordan is getting closer.

                                REICTHER
                    Remember men. Stand your ground. If 
                    we're not careful he'll try and 
                    convert you.

                                CHRIS
                         (whispering to Will) 
                    To what? Catholicism or 
                    homosexuality?

                                WILL
                    Does it matter? With the former 
                    you're getting someone up the ass 
                    while with the latter your taking 
                    it in the ass.

     Jordan reaches them. There's an awkward pause. Jordan is 
     unsure what to say while The Gang look annoyed to even 
     be in his presence. 

                                JORDAN
                    Hello all.

     Scattered "Heys" all around followed by another awkward 
     silence.

                                JORDAN
                    So...How's senior year going?

                                WILL
                    Cut the crap, man!

                                CHRIS 
                    What do you want Jordan? If you're 
                    here to tell me how my people 
                    killed Jesus, your too late. 
                    Brandon Brim beat you to it.

                                JORDAN
                    No. Actually I have a personal favor 
                    that I would like guys to help me 
                    out with.

                                REICTHER
                    Personal favor? For you? Why 
                    should we even waste our time? Ever 
                    since second grade you've been a 
                    diaper for us. You're always on our 
                    asses and your always full of shit!

                                WILL
                    Not to mention the fact that you've
                    mocked our beliefs.

                                CHRIS
                    And been intolerant to us who are 
                    different.

                                REICTHER
                    So what possible favor could be so 
                    important that you would come to 
                    us?

     Long beat.

                                JORDAN
                    I need one of you to pose as my 
                    boyfriend so that I can come out of 
                    the closet to my family.

     This request is met with mouths wide open. From the 
     general look of their eyes and facial expressions this 
     might be the shock of the century to them (except for 
     Chris and Will who already knew.) Even Joel breaks out 
     of his sad state.

                                JOEL
                    You're gay?!!

							SMASH CUT TO:

     OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:

     Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the 
     credits.

     AFTER CREDITS:

     FADE IN:

     INT. SCHOOL  HALLWAY  SAME

     The Gang are all still staring at Jordan with pure look 
     of shock. Jordan gets tired of waiting.

                                JORDAN
                    Okay, you guys can stop staring at me. 
                    You've been doing it for like two 
                    minutes.

                                WILL
                    It's just been a while since we've 
                    seen a Gay Republican.

                                REICTHER
                    It's impossible. It's one of those 
                    scientific Paradoxes like in Back 
                    to the Future II.

     Jordan sighs.

                                REICTHER
                    You're not gay. This is probably 
                    some weird trick that has something 
                    to do with Jesus.

                                JORDAN
                    I hate to put an end to your long 
                    line of insulting remarks to the 
                    King of Kings but I'm being a 
                    hundred percent serious. I...I'm...
                              (struggles)
                    I'm gay.

                                REICTHER
                    I still smell a load. Prove it.

                                JORDAN
                             (confused)
                    What? How am I suppose to prove I'm gay?

     Reicther thinks.

                                REICTHER
                    Sing me a Broadway melody and show 
                    me your abs from all the exercise 
                    you do...or just make out with 
                    Chris.

     Chris hits Reicther.

                                CHRIS
                    Those aren't facts. Those are 
                    negative stereotypes.
                               (beat)
                    Right?

                                JORDAN
                    Yes.

     Chris hits Reicther again.

                                WILL
                    I'm still confused. How could you 
                    be gay? I thought that thing with 
                    Tom was a one time thing.

                                JORDAN
                    Sometimes I'm just as confused as 
                    you are. I mean looking back at 
                    what I've stood for and what I've 
                    preached...it just doesn't seem 
                    like the path I would go down. 

                                REICTHER
                    I'm so confused?! What's this 
                    business with Tom?

                                JORDAN 
                    About two years ago, during 
                    our sophomore year Tom Lawrence 
                    came up to me and told me he liked 
                    me. And out of the blue he just...
                    he just kissed me. And I kissed 
                    back.

                                CHRIS
                    Which I was lucky enough to witness.

                                JORDAN
                    I mean I did it, and it didn't feel 
                    disgusting or odd...it actually 
                    felt kinda right. But at the time I 
                    didn't fully understand those feelings 
                    and I didn't really want to. So I 
                    pushed Tom away. I told him I 
                    wasn't like that and I never would 
                    be. But as time went on my mind kept 
                    going back to that one moment. It 
                    made me question myself like 
                    nothing else had. It made me 
                    depressed just because I didn't 
                    know what was wrong with me. But 
                    then during the summer...

								FLASHBACK TO:

     INT. BIBLE CAMP  DAY (FLASHBACK)

     Jordan is sitting at a desk, deeply focused on reading 
     the bible.

 
                                JORDAN (V/O)
                    ...all the confusing feelings 
                    finally came out.

     THE CAMERA PULLS BACK...

     To reveal another boy sitting on a nearby bed. This is 
     MARCO and he's bronze and cute. He looks at Jordan with 
     a big smile. Jordan looks back at Marco and smiles. 
     Jordan closes the bible and damn nears tackles Marco. 
     They kiss furiously until they roll off the bed.

								CUT TO:

     INT. SCHOOL  HALLWAY  PRESENT

     The Gang are all a little put off by the story.

                                JORDAN
                    Eventually the counselors found out 
                    and kicked us out...that and for 
                    what we did the Holy water.

                                CHRIS
                    That was more then I wanted to know.

                                JORDAN
                    Anyway I finally woke up. I realized that 
                    I'm here and I'm quite queer and I 
                    better start getting use to it.

                                REICTHER
                    That's great Jordan...well we'll be 
                    getting on our way now.

     Reicther and Will begin to walk away. Chris pulls Joel 
     up and they follow suit.

                                JORDAN
                    Wait! Where the hell are you going?
					
                                REICTHER
                    Shake shop.

                                JORDAN
                    What about my problem?

                                CHRIS
                               (uneasy)
                    Jordan, I'm not sure if having one 
                    of us pose as your boyfriend will 
                    help you in coming out.

                                JORDAN
                    Please! C'mon! I don't know if I 
                    can do this alone.

                                CHRIS
                    This is very dramatic thing for you 
                    Jordan. You really want someone 
                    there with you?

                                JORDAN
                    I need to do this. And unfortunately 
                    I don't think I can face my mother 
                    with this news alone.

                                REICTHER
                    Afraid of his mother? 
                               (scoffs)
                    Pussy.

     Jordan shoots him a "fuck you" look.

                                WILL
                    But why us? I mean we don't even 
                    like you.

                                JORDAN
                              (ashamed)
                    ...I don't really have any friends. 

                                CHRIS
                             (surprised)
                    Oh.

                                JORDAN
                    And I figure since Chris and Will 
                    already knew about it that you guys 
                    seemed like the perfect people to 
                    ask.
	
                                WILL
                    He's got a point.

     The Gang are at a crossroads.

                                REICTHER
                    Gang huddle!

     The Gang huddle.

                                REICTHER
                    What should we do?

                                WILL                                
                    He's obviously afraid. So maybe we 
                    Should help him out.

                                REICTHER
                    Do I hear a volunteer?

                                WILL
                    Not from me! I've got plans with 
                    Nadine.

                                REICTHER
                    Chris?

                                CHRIS
                    I've got a date with Lorelei. 

                                REICTHER
                    Who?

                                CHRIS
                    This blonde girl I'm seeing. She's 
                    really - 

                                REICTHER
                    Okay, okay. I didn't want your life 
                    story. Well, obviously Joel can't 
                    do it and I can't do it.

                                WILL
                    Wait, why can't you do it?

                                REICTHER
                    We want this evening to go WELL for 
                    him, don't we?

                                WILL
                    Someone HAS to do it.
                           
                                BRIAN (O.S.)
                    Hey guys!

     The Gang turn and see BRIAN VANDELE standing a few feet 
     away. They get an idea and start looking at each other. 
     Brian's suspicious.

								CUT TO:

     INT. JORDAN'S CAR  LATER

     Jordan and Brian sit in awkward silence. Brian is 
     seemingly displeased with his situation.

     Beat.

                                JORDAN
                    Wanna play th -

                                BRIAN
                             (overlapping)
                    NO talking!

     Silence continues.

								CUT TO:

     INT. WARNER HOME  LIVING ROOM  LATER

     It's LOIS WARNER and ANNE BAXTER's engagement party. 
     They sit on the couch, drinks in hand. They are 
     surrounded by various women raging from their twenties, 
     thirties, forties, and so on. The song "How I feel" by 
     Kelly Clarkson is playing so house that the room is 
     almost vibrating. Everyone is laughing it up and having 
     a good time.

     BROCK WARNER enters carrying a tray of little sausage 
     wieners. He sits them down on the table.
 
                                BROCK
                    Now go easy. This is the last of 
                    the little wieners.

     Several of the women start to giggle.

                                BROCK
                             (sarcastic)
                    Wow. I never get old of THAT.

     Brock goes back into the kitchen.

								CUT TO:

     INT. WARNER HOME  KITCHEN  CONTINUOUS

     Brock heads to the sink and puts some dishes in. The 
     PHONE rings. Brock lets out an annoyed sigh before 
     answering the phone.

                                BROCK
                    Hello?

                                CASEY (O.S.)                                
                    Hello, Brock?

                                BROCK
                    Casey? Is that you?

     (We now intercut between Brock and CASEY JENNINGS who is 
     standing in his messy room.)

                                CASEY
                    Yeah, it's me.

                                BROCK                                
                    Finally, a familiar voice. You 
                    won't believe how rowdy a bunch of 
                    middle age lesbians can get. What 
                    are you up to?

                                CASEY
                    Oh a little of this, a little of 
                    that. OH! And my girlfriend is 
                    missing.

                                BROCK
                    What?! Missing?

                                CASEY                                
                    Yeah you know where a person's 
                    location isn't known.

                                BROCK
                    I know what missing means, you 
                    stooge! How is your girlfriend 
                    missing?

                                CASEY
                    her location isn't known so -

                                BROCK                                
                    Enough with the textbook definition, 
                    Casey!

                                CASEY
                    Well we kind of had a fight.

     The noise from the party gets slightly louder so Brock 
     walks toward the corner of the room for quietness.

                                BROCK
                    What did you "kind of" had a fight 
                    over?

                                CASEY                                
                    We got our replies back from 
                    college...and we both got accepted 
                    to Ball State University.

                                BROCK
                    That's fantastic! How could that 
                    start a fight?

                                CASEY                                
                    Because she didn't just get 
                    accepted into BSU. She also got 
                    acceptance letters from Yale and 
                    Norte Dame.

     Brock drops some dishes in shock.

                                BROCK
                    SHE GOT ACCEPTED INTO YALE?!

                                CASEY                                
                    Yeah. But the problem is that she 
                    doesn't want to go to Yale, she 
                    wants to go to BSU.

                                BROCK
                    WHAT?! Doesn't want to go to Yale? 
                    Is she fucking crazy? What possible 
                    reason could there be for her to go 
                    to BSU over Yale?

     Beat.

                                CASEY                                
                    ...me.

     Awkward pause.

                                BROCK
                    Oh...

                                CASEY                                
                    I started to yell at her, telling 
                    her she was making a huge mistake 
                    following me to BSU. That going to 
                    Yale is a once in a lifetime 
                    opportunity. Then she screamed "I'm 
                    just following you because it'll 
                    make me happy." Then I said some 
                    things, then she said some things. 
                    And-And...I don't know. She just up 
                    and left. And I have no idea where 
                    she's gone.

                                BROCK
                    No clue what so ever where she 
                    might be?

                                CASEY                                
                    I don't know. Maybe out with one of 
                    her friends are something.

     Suddenly a crashing sound comes from outside.

                                BROCK
                    Casey, I'll call you back.

     Brock hangs up. He slowly approaches the window and 
     looks out.

     BROCK'S POV:
     He sees a shadowy figure stumbling around the backyard.

     Brock looks around and grabs a kitchen knife. He takes a 
     few deep breaths before heading for the door.

								CUT TO:

     EXT. WARNER HOME  BACKYARD  CONTINUOUS

     The backdoor opens and we can barely make out Brock's 
     figure. He flips a switch and a light brightens the 
     entire backyard. It turns out that the dark shadow 
     stumbling around the yard is KAY JOHNSON, Casey's 
     girlfriend.

                                BROCK
                    Kay?!

     Even in the light, Kay continues to stumble. It appears 
     like she's drunk.

                                KAY
                              (drunk)                               
                    Brock! Help me! I keep standing 
                    still but the ground is moving so 
                    fast!

     She then passes out to the ground.

                                BROCK
                    Oh shit!

								CUT TO:

     EXT. JONES HOUSE  LATER (NIGHT)

     Jordan's car pulls up, and Brian and Jordan get out. 
     Jordan is breathing heavily, obviously nervous.

                                BRIAN
                    Hey Jordan. Just out of curiosity, 
                    I'm not thinking about changing 
                    sides or anything but what's it 
                    like to kiss a man? 

                                JORDAN
                    I don't know. What's it like to 
                    kiss a girl?

     Brian thinks.

                                BRIAN
                    It's pretty good. I guess it's just 
                    like kissing a dude who bleeds for 
                    five days every month.
 
                                JORDAN
                              (stunned)
                    You amaze me sometimes.

     Brian notices Jordan's nervousness.

                                BRIAN
                    Still want to go through with this?

                                JORDAN
                    It's now or never. Thanks again for 
                    doing this.

                                BRIAN                                
                    No problem. What else was I going 
                    to do on a Friday night? 
                    Masturbate? At least I'm doing 
                    something that lasts more then a 
                    minute.

     They begin walking to the door.

                                BRIAN
                    Oh by the way. I came prepared.

     Brian pulls out a GAY PORN magazine from his pocket. 
     Jordan is absolutely confused on why Brian has done 
     this.

                                JORDAN
                    ...WHY?! Why would you bring gay 
                    porn to a dinner?

                                BRIAN                                
                    You know...just in case...

                                JORDAN
                           (angry; confused)
                    In case of what? We finish dinner 
                    and decide that instead of desert 
                    we want to rub one to a naked 
                    firemen?

                                BRIAN
                             (excited)
                    There's firemen in this issue?

     Brian starts to flip through the magazine. Jordan rolls 
     his eyes.

                                JORDAN                                
                    Let's keep the focus on me and MY 
                    gayness for now.

     The reach the door. Jordan searches for the keys while 
     Brian puts away the mag.

                                BRIAN
                    Is there anything else I should 
                    know before we go in?

                                JORDAN                                
                    Look out for my mom. She's a 
                    little..."off."

                                BRIAN
                    You got it.

                                JORDAN
                    Oh! And don't look at her left ear.

                                BRIAN                                
                    Why not?

                                JORDAN
                    Just don't! If she offers you 
                    whiskey, take it!

                                BRIAN
                    I don't even drink!

                                JORDAN                               
                    And for the love of God, if she 
                    asks you to pet the dog then: PET 
                    THE DAMN DOG!

     Brian is now scared. Jordan unlocks the door and the two 
     enter.

                                JORDAN
                    Mom, I'm home!

     The door closes.
                                JORDAN (O.S.)
                    I hope you don't mind but I brought 
                    "someone" home for dinner.

								CUT TO:

     INT. JONES HOUSE  LIVING ROOM  CONTINUOUS

     Brian and Jordan enter. From first glance the house 
     seems to be like something out of the 1950's or that it 
     belongs to old people. Crucifixes, odd figurines, and 
     pictures of Jesus. Jordan takes off his jacket, while 
     Brian squirms.

                                BRIAN
                    So...how should we do this.

                                JORDAN                                
                    ...I don't know.

                                BRIAN
                    What do you mean you don't know? 
                    How can you not know? This is your 
                    plan!

                                JORDAN                                
                    I don't know, I was thinking about 
                    winging it.

                                BRIAN                                
                    Winging it?! Are you out of your 
                    faggot ass mind?!

     Jordan smacks Brian.

                                JORDAN
                    Don't use the word "faggot"! It's 
                    degrading!

                                BRIAN                                
                    Thanks Mr. High and mighty! Your 
                    one to talk. You're the one who's 
                    been hiding the fact that he's gay 
                    for two fucking years now!

                                JORDAN                                
                    Some things are better kept in the 
                    dark!

                                BRIAN
                    THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING 
                    HERE!!!

     Jordan's mother, ATHALIAH JONES, enters from the 
     kitchen. Quickly stop fighting and put on fake smiles.

                                ATHALIAH                                
                    Hello, thy son. Whose this?

                                JORDAN                                
                    This is my friend, Brian Vandele.

                                BRIAN                                
                    And I'm his big fat gay lover!

     Jordan turns to him, just simply stupefied that Brian 
     admitted it.

                                ATHALIAH
                    G-G-Gay? Jordan, is thy heathen 
                    speaking the truth?

     Jordan turns to his mother, obviously conflicted.

                                JORDAN                                
                    Well, in a way it is true but I can 
                    explain!

     Athaliah gasps before passing out.

                                BRIAN                               
                    Wow...you screwed up pretty badly.

     Jordan starts to pushing and shoving Brian

                                JORDAN
                    WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!

                                BRIAN                                
                    You said to wing it! I got nervous 
                    and it was the first thing that 
                    came to mind!

                                JORDAN
                    We should have at least talked it 
                    out reasonability. Calm, quiet. Not 
                    just blurting it out!

                                BRIAN
                    That WOULD have been better.

     Jordan is freaking out.

                                JORDAN                                
                    Oh my God! Oh my God! What am I 
                    going to do!

                                BRIAN                                
                    You know when she comes to, I can 
                    always some I'm the big fat gay 
                    lover of a DIFFERENT Jordan.

                                JORDAN                                
                    Brian, from now on don't talk 
                    unless you can improve the silence.

     Jordan continues to pace.

								CUT TO:

     INT. BROCK'S ROOM  LITTLE LATER

     Kay is lying on Brock's FUTON COUCH. We can still hear 
     the music blasting from the engagement party. Brock 
     walks over to the door and pops his head out the door.

                                BROCK                              
                    Can you guys try and keep it down! 
                    My friend is slightly hung over!

     He closes the door. Moans and groans come from Kay.

                                KAY                                
                    Why are all the good things in life 
                    vomit inducing?

     Brock walks over and kneels by her.

                                BROCK                               
                    How are you feeling?

                                KAY                                
                    I feel slightly better.

    She suddenly freezes.

                                BROCK                               
                    What's wrong?

                                KAY                               
                    Your walls! They're rotating! Making 
                    me...

    Kay reaches for a near by trash can and starts vomiting. 
    Brock is a more then a little put off by this.

                                KAY
                          (as she finishes)                               
                    Please don't tell Casey about this.

                                BROCK                                
                    Don't worry. Your secret is safe 
                    with me. Besides, telling him isn't 
                    going to help anybody.

                                KAY                               
                    Your probably right.

     Beat.

                                BROCK                            
                    ...even though he is kinda right.

                                KAY
                             (annoyed)                               
                    Ugh, not you too.

                                BROCK                                
                    Sorry, but it's YALE! I mean they 
                    only accept the best and the 
                    brightest! It's a once in a 
                    lifetime chance!

                                KAY                               
                    I know, I know. Believe me I know. 
                    My parents have been telling me 
                    that shit day in, day out for the 
                    last week.

     Brock realizes he's crossed the line.

                                BROCK                                
                    Sorry.

                                KAY                               
                    You want to know the reason? It's 
                    because I want happiness. And the 
                    only way I'm going to get that 
                    happiness is if I'm with Casey. I 
                    don't care if that means  not going 
                    to Yale...I'd rather happy then be 
                    smart.

     Brock is impressed.

                                KAY                               
                    The only reason I got wasted was 
                    because Casey said I was stupid for 
                    doing what I was going to do. 
                    Selfish bastard didn't seem to 
                    realize that I was doing this for 
                    him.

                                BROCK                                
                    Hey, now. Casey just wants what's 
                    best for you.

    Beat.

                                KAY                              
                    I just wish he wanted the same 
                    thing I wanted.

    Both sit in silence for a few seconds before LOIS WARNER, 
    drunk, pops her head in.

                                LOIS                               
                    Brock, sweetie, what are the name 
                    of those square cookies we use to 
                    get you when you were little?

                                BROCK                                
                    Fig Newton's?

                                LOIS                                
                    No, that's not it. Remember, they 
                    were filled with fig.

                                BROCK
                              (annoyed)                               
                    Fig Newton's?

                                LOIS                                
                    That's it! Sweetie, me and the 
                    girls are going to make a quick run 
                    to the Wal-Mart and get some fig 
                    Newton's. If were not back in three 
                    hours, it means were having the 
                    time of our lives. 

     She leaves. Brock shudders.

                                BROCK                               
                    Why do I constantly surround myself 
                    with drunk women?

                                KAY                                
                    Cause you wouldn't have us any 
                    other way.

     Kay starts giggling.

								CUT TO:

     INT. JORDAN'S HOUSE  DINNING ROOM

     Jordan and Brian sit together at the side of the table. 
     Athaliah can be heard from the kitchen, talking to 
     someone. Jordan is staring dead ahead, thinking about 
     his situation. Brian on the other hand looks bored.

                                BRIAN
                            (whispering)                                
                    Do you have anything to eat?

                                JORDAN                               
                    Not now, Brian!

     Athaliah hangs up and reenters the room.

                                JORDAN                                
                    Mother, I -

                                ATHALIAH                               
                    Don't.

                                JORDAN                                
                    I'm just -

                                ATHALIAH                               
                    Be silent, my son.

                                BRIAN
                            (whispering)                                
                    Why does she talk like that.

                                JORDAN                               
                    She was raised in a very, VERY 
                    strict religious home.

                                ATHALIAH                               
                    You will not speak of thy 
                    grandfather that way! He raised me 
                    prim and proper. Sometimes I wish I 
                    could have raised you that way. 
                    Maybe you wouldn't have turned out 
                    a...a 

                                JORDAN                               
                    A what mom? A faggot? A ferry? Stop 
                    me when I get close.

                                ATHALIAH                               
                    A homosexual. 

                                JORDAN                               
                    Ever think that I was born this 
                    way? That no matter how you raised 
                    me I would have turned out this 
                    way?

                                ATHALIAH                               
                    Everyone has a choice in their 
                    destiny.

                                BRIAN                               
                    I'm sorry lady but I'm going to 
                    have to call shenanigans on that. 
                    Not everyone gets to choose what 
                    they become. You think Aquaman 
                    wanted to be Aquaman? FUCK no! 
                    Talking to fish isn't a power! 
                    That's just some bullshit power!

      THUMP.

                                BRIAN                               
                    What just kicked me?

                                JORDAN                               
                    Common sense saying shut up!

                                ATHALIAH
                    It doesn't matter. I've already 
                    found a solution to this problem.

                                JORDAN                               
                    "Solution?" What do you mean 
                    solution?

                                ATHALIAH                               
                    I've called Father Birmingham and 
                    he's agreed to come over and 
                    exorcise the demons from you.

                                JORDAN                               
                    Exorcise the demons!?! What the 
                    fuck!?

                                BRIAN                               
                    Wait a minute...gay people are 
                    possessed by demons? 
                              (sighs)
                    This is why I'm an atheist.

                                JORDAN                               
                    So Birmingham is going to try and 
                    "cure" me of being gay? 

                                ATHALIAH                               
                    Precisely. Jordan, this isn't just 
                    for me. It's for your own good. We 
                    have to save your soul!

                                JORDAN                               
                    There's nothing wrong my soul and 
                    there's nothing wrong with me!

     There's a KNOCK at the door. Athaliah gets up and 
     leaves the room.

                                BRIAN                               
                    Cure you? They're going to cure you 
                    of being gay?

                                JORDAN                               
                    My mom is really extreme when it 
                    comes to religion.

                                BRIAN                               
                    ...Can you cure someone of being 
                    gay?
							
                                JORDAN                               
                    Can you cure Reicther of being an 
                    asshole?

                                                              
                    Ah, so no chance in hell?

                                JORDAN                               
                    Bingo.

                                ATHALIAH (O.S.)                               
                    He's right this way, Father Birmingham.

     Athaliah reenters with FATHER JOSEPH BIRMINGHAM by her 
     side. He's an older man in his early sixties, big 
     glasses, and a receding hair line. He is carrying a bag 
     with him.
						
                                BIRMINGHAM                               
                    So these most be the two little 
                    sinners you were talking about.

     Brian looks around.

                                BRIAN
                             (to Jordan)                               
                    You think he means us?

                                JORDAN                               
                    How did you get here so quick? My 
                    mom only called like a minute or 
                    two ago.

                                BIRMINGHAM                               
                    I actually live across the street 
                    just in case of religious emergency.

                                BRIAN
                              (scared)                               
                    I'm REALLY glad I'm an atheist.
 
                                JORDAN
                             (sarcastic)                               
                    So father, how do you propose to 
                    "rid me of my demons?" Human 
                    sacrifice? Some ancient voodoo 
                    dance?

     Birmingham chuckles.

                                BIRMINGHAM                               
                    Oh if only I could be young, 
                    cynical, and mouthy again.
                                (beat)
                    No son I'm not going to be doing 
                    any of that. We have a different 
                    method.

     Birmingham pats his black bag. Briand and Jordan 
     exchange curious looks.

								CUT TO:
     INT. JONES HOUSE  LIVING ROOM
     
     Birmingham, Jordan, and Brian are sitting on a couch 
     watching TV. Loud moans and grunts come from the TV. 
     Jordan shakes his head in embarrassment, while Brian is 
     watching very intently. 

                                BIRMINGHAM
                    So...this do anything for you?

                                JORDAN
                            (to himself)
                    Oh lord.

     Beat.

                                BRIAN
                    Gross! Why would a dude do that to 
                    a girl's ass? That's where she 
                    shits.

								CUT TO:

     INT. BROCK'S ROOM  LATER

     Brocks helps Kay walk towards the door. It's obvious 
     that she's still a little tipsy.

                                BROCK
                    I still don't know if I should be 
                    letting you go home. Your still 
                    drunk.

                                KAY
                    I'm not drunk. I'm perfectly ober.

                                BROCK
                    Ober? Don't you mean sober?

                                KAY
                    Sure. What ever floats your boat.

                                BROCK
                    Maybe I should give you a sobriety 
                    test. Quick, say you're ABC's 
                    backwards.

                                KAY
                    Can YOU say your ABC's backwards.

     Brock hesitates.

                                BROCK
                    Touché.

     They reach the door.

                                KAY
                    No need to worry. I'm not driving. 
                    I've got my friend Kylie waiting 
                    outside. She's going to drive me 
                    home.

                                BROCK
                    As long as you get home safe. Casey 
                    would kill me if I let you drive.

                                KAY
                    Thanks again, Brock. Not just for 
                    shelter but calming me down a bit. 
                    The talk did me some good. You 
                    didn't change my mind but you 
                    certainly gave me some food for 
                    thought.

                                BROCK
                    Hey. If you ever need anything. 
                    Don't be a stranger. I just hope my 
                    mother is somewhat sober next time.

                                KAY
                    I hope I'm somewhat sober next time.

     They both giggle. The two just look at each other. 
     Awkward silence. Suddenly Kay leans in and KISSES Brock.
     The kiss lasts only a few seconds but seems to go on for 
     a long time. Brock is shocked, while Kay pretends like 
     it never happened.

                                KAY
                            (nervous)
                    Um, I, uh, probably should le 

                                BROCK
                            (overlapping)
                    Good idea. Go. GO!

     Kay quickly leaves. Brock breathes heavily.

                                BROCK
                            (to himself)
                    What the hell did I just do?!

								CUT TO:

     MUSIC MONTAGE (The Marshall Tucker Band  "Can't You See?")

     EXT. JONES HOUSE  LATER

     Brian and Jordan emerge from the front door. Brian runs 
     his hand through his hair, while Jordan stares off to 
     the distance, distracted.

                                BRIAN
                    Well that was an interesting 
                    evening.

     Jordan nods, still distracted.

                                BRIAN
                    You okay man?

                                JORDAN
                    Yeah just a lot on my mind.

                                BRIAN
                    Do you need me to stick around for 
                    a while longer?

                                BIRMINGHAM (O.S.)
                    Jordan! Check this one out! It's 
                    Demi Moore in "Striptease!" I'm a 
                    man of God and even I'm getting 
                    turned on.

     Jordan rolls his eyes.

                                JORDAN
                    I think I'll be fine.

     Brian nods and begins to walk away. Getting about thirty 
     feet away he takes one more look at Jordan who is 
     staring at the ground, contemplating. Brian begins 
     walking home. 

								CUT TO:

     INT. BROCK'S ROOM  LATE NIGHT

     Brock is pacing around the room.

                                BROCK
                            (to himself)
                    Oh God, Oh God, Oh God! I kissed my 
                    best friend's girlfriend! I'm so 
                    screwed. It's okay it's okay I just 
                    have to make sure no one finds out 
                    about it.

     The CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal BRYCE WARNER standing in 
     the corner of the room.

                                BRYCE
                    Who'd you kissed?

     Brock freaks out.

                                BROCK
                    BRYCE GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
 
                                BRYCE
                    All right. Jeeze. No need to get angry.

     Bryce leaves Brock even more freaked out then before.

							FADE TO BLACK.

     TITLE: "The Following Monday..."

     FADE IN:

     (THE SONG CONTINUES)

     INT. SCHOOL  HALLWAY  MORNING

     Jordan is at his locker, getting his books ready for the 
     next class. Brian turns the corner and walks up to 
     Jordan.

                                BRIAN
                    Hey, Jordan! There you are man, 
                    I've been looking for you.

     Jordan turns to him confused.

                                JORDAN
                    Why?

                                BRIAN
                    Because I want to know how it went 
                    on Friday. Did your mother finally 
                    accept fact.

     Beat.

                                JORDAN
                    Oh that. No need to worry about it 
                    anymore.

     Jordan closes his locker.

                                JORDAN
                    They cured me.

     Brian's excitement turns to disbelief.

                                BRIAN
                    Cured you? C'mon, Jordan. That 
                    "curing" business was a bunch of 
                    bullshit.

                                JORDAN
                    That's what you think. But it 
                    wasn't until I started taking 
                    Father Birmingham seriously that I 
                    realized the error of my way. I am 
                    now hundred percent normal again.

                                 BRIAN
                    Normal? You call bottling up being 
                    gay normal?

                                JORDAN
                    I'm not gay anymore! They fixed me.

     Brian shakes his head.

                                BRIAN
                    Sometimes...you can really scare a 
                    person, Jordan.

     Brian leaves, a bit shaken. Jordan shrugs it off likes 
     it's no big thing.

								FADE TO: 

     INT. SCHOOL  LUNCHROOM  MINUTES LATER

     Brian enters the lunchroom and goes over and joins Will, 
     Chris, Reicther, Joel (who looks slightly happier), and 
     very nervous Brock.

     Reicther is in the middle of talking when Brian sits down.

                                REICTHER
                    And that's why I now play Guitar 
                    Hero naked.
                                (beat)
                    Where were you, Brian?

                                BRIAN
                    Just checking in on someone.

                                REICTER
                    Whatever.

     Reicther continues talking.

                                WILL
                    Finally. There's Casey.

     Brock's eyes grow wide.

                                BROCK (V/O)
                    Easy, Brock. Don't freak out. I'm 
                    sure Kay kept her mouth shut. 

     Out of no where a pair of hands grab Brock by the 
     shoulder and throw him to the ground. A quick PULL BACK 
     reveals it's CASEY JENNINGS and he is furious. All The 
     Gang stand up. With Brock on the floor Casey starts to 
     violently kick him in the stomach. Everyone else in the 
     lunchroom start to take notice with some gasping and 
     others shouting "fight."

     Will and Joel attempt to stop Casey, with no luck. Casey 
     gets one last good kick: right in Brock's face. After 
     that Brian, Chris, and Reicther help them pull Casey 
     away. A crowd has now form around them. Brock is badly 
     beaten. He holds his stomach in pain and has blood 
     pouring from his nose. Casey pushes The Gang away from 
     him, takes a few breaths, and looks toward Brock.

                                CASEY
                    You come near me again or Kay again 
                    I will end your life. That's not a 
                    threat...it's a goddamn promise.

    Casey walks away. Everyone is confused, not able to 
    comprehend what just took place. The Gang tend to Brock 
    all shouting out variations on "what happened?" As the 
    crowd pushes in more on Brock, we focus on Casey who 
    walks away down in empty hall.                         
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        
                                                        FADE OUT.
                           
                            END OF EPISODE





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