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                          THE LUNCHROOM                                
                               
                           Episode Two
                       "Life's Too Short"

                                
                           Teleplay by
                          Bruce Snyder  
                            
                            Story by
                          Bruce Snyder 
                               &
                          Alan Holman
                                                                                               
                               
                           Created by
                          Bruce Snyder                                
                                
                                                               
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Bruce Snyder
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Vincent Biga
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Edward Drogos
                                
                          STORY EDITOR
                         Rebecca Parker

                                

                                 
                                 CAST LIST

		Will Cooper.................................
		Joel Mayberry...............................
		Brian Vandele...............................
		Brock Warner................................
		Reicther....................................
		Casey Jennings..............................
		Chris Hughes................................
		Ellen Conner................................
		Cathy Matthews..............................
		Mr. John Parker.............................
		Ms. Diane Ballard...........................

 
                              GUEST CAST LIST


		Principal Bob Stevens.......................
 		Nadine Santos............................... 
		Mr. Harry Zimmer............................
		Arthur Winchester...........................
		Cashier #1.................................. 
		Cashier #2.................................. 
		Cashier #3..................................









     Copyright © Bruce Snyder 

     TEASER

     FADE IN:

     INT. SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - AFTER SCHOOL

     The lot is completely empty except for one beat up green 
     car. BRIAN VANDELE is in it. On the hood of the car sits 
     CASEY JENNINGS. Brian seems very angry and impatient.     

                                BRIAN
                    Casey, get off my car!

                                CASEY
                    Not until you apologize!

                                BRIAN
                    For Christ's sake it was only a pop 
                    tart!

                                CASEY
                    WRONG! It wasn't just a pop tart, 
                    it was MY pop tart!

                                BRIAN
                    C'mon! You've been sitting on my 
                    car for an hour now! I'd like to go 
                    home!

                                CASEY
                    Apologize or get me another pop 
                    tart!

     Brian sighs.

                                BRIAN
                    Fuck this!

     Brian puts it in drive. Casey becomes worried.

                                CASEY
                    What are you doing?

                                BRIAN
                    What's it look like I'm doing? I'm 
                    getting you off my car.

     Brian begins to back up his car. Casey, scared, jumps 
     off of the car. Brian backs up so fast that he backs 
     into RICHARD, the wheelchair kid knocking him to the 
     ground.

     Casey is frozen. While Brian hops out of the car and 
     checks on Richard.

                                BRIAN
                    Richard, are you okay?!

     Beat.

                                RICHARD
                    I...I can't feel my legs!

     Long pause. Richard starts laughing while Brian lets out 
     a sigh of relief.

                                BRIAN
                    Son of a bitch!

							SMASH CUT TO:
†
     OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:

     Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the 
     credits.

     AFTER CREDITS:

     FADE IN:

     INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - NOON

     ELLEN CONNER is walking down the halls looking around 
     for Will. She has two tickets in her hands. She turns a 
     corner.

								CUT TO:

     INT. ANOTHER HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

     JOEL MAYBERRY and CATHY MATTHEWS stand by a locker. Joel 
     is searching through it, trying to find his science 
     book. Cathy is staring off into space, rubbing her 
     stomach. Ellen appears and runs up to them.

                                ELLEN
                    Hey, either of you guys seen Will?

                                JOEL
                    Um. I think he's in the teen center 
                    getting a coke.

                                ELLEN
                    Thanks.

     Ellen leaves. Joel resumes his conversation with Cathy.

                                JOEL
                    So how about we get some pizza 
                    tonight for dinner?

     No response.

                                JOEL
                    Cathy?

                                CATHY
                    Yeah?

                                JOEL
                    You okay?

                                CATHY
                    Yep. Just lost in thought.

                                JOEL
                    First you'll crazy and all over the 
                    place, now you've been quiet and 
                    down in the dumps. Are you sure 
                    everything is okay?

                                CATHY
                    Trust me Joel, there is absolutely 
                    nothing wrong with me.

     Joel closes his locker and gives her a suspicious look.

                                CATHY
                    Don't give me that look. It's a 
                    very unflattering look.

     They walk off.

								CUT TO:

     INT. TEEN CENTER - SCHOOL - SECONDS LATER

     Ellen enters, still searching. She takes a few steps and 
     freezes. Across the teen center, is WILL COOPER and he 
     is talking to NADINE SANTOS. Nadine is a Mexican 
     American. She's very slender, with long curly brown 
     hair. Overall she's a very beautiful young woman.

     Ellen seems taken aback by this. Very hurt at the fact 
     that Will is getting friendly with another woman. Ellen 
     turns around and gets ready to leave but Will stops her.

                                WILL
                    Hey, Ellen.

     Slowly turns around.

                                ELLEN
                           (uncomfortable)
                    Hi Will.

                                WILL
                    Come on over.

     Ellen makes her way over.

                                WILL
                    What's up?

                                ELLEN
                    Nothing much.
                               (beat)
                    ...Who's this.

                                WILL
                    Oh, I forgot. Ellen, this is Nadine 
                    Santos.

                                NADINE
                    Hello, pleased to meet you.

     They shakes hands.

                                ELLEN
                           (under breath)
                    Wish I could say the same.

                                NADINE
                    What?

                                ELLEN
                    I said "likewise."

                                WILL
                    You'll never believe this, Ellen 
                    but Nadine wants to be a filmmaker 
                    too.

     This crushes Ellen more.

                                ELLEN
                    ...Really?

                                NADINE
                    I just love movies so much. It's my 
                    sole passion. I couldn't picture my 
                    life without them.

                                WILL
                    Me either.

     Give each other a loving look. Ellen gets worried and 
     tries to break the moment.

                                ELLEN
                    Banana hammock!

     Both turn to Ellen with weird looks.

                                ELLEN
                           (embarrassed)
                    Sorry.

                                WILL
                    Did you need something Ellen?

                                ELLEN
                    Oh, I just wanted to tell you I got 
                    two tickets to the new Scorsese 
                    movie. I thought we could check it 
                    out.

     Will and Nadine both look at each other. Obvious that 
     they have bad news for her.

                                ELLEN
                    What? What's the matter?

                                WILL
                    Oh, I'm really sorry but...I already 
                    agreed to go with Nadine.

     Another crushing blow for Ellen.

                                NADINE
                    I'm sorry Ellen. Will, you should 
                    go with her. I don't mind sitting 
                    this one out.

                                ELLEN
                    No, it's okay. You two should go. 
                    You've already made plans.

                                NADINE
                    Are you sure?

                                ELLEN
                    You got to him first. I hold no 
                    grudge for that.

                                ELLEN (V/O)
                    You bitch!

     Will peaks up at the clock.

                                WILL
                    Shit! Look at the time. We've got 
                    to get to Media Arts class.

                                NADINE
                    You're right. It was nice meeting 
                    you Ellen.

     They walk away.

                                WILL
                    See ya', Ellen!

     They disappear around the corner. Ellen seems depressed 
     and defeated. 

                                ELLEN
                    Stupid friend zone.

								FADE TO:

     INT. HALLWAY - SCIENCE WING - MINUTES LATER

     It's empty and quiet. Suddenly large amounts of black 
     smoke start coming out of the teachers lounge at the end 
     of the hall. Not only that but we can hear a few screams 
     and some materials breaking.

     Door finally opens and a few teachers run out. Seconds 
     later, MR. JOHN PARKER, MS. DIANE BALLARD, and MR. HARRY 
     ZIMMER emerge coughing and swatting smoke away from them.

                                PARKER
                    Damn it, Harry! What the hell were 
                    you thinking!

                                ZIMMER
                    I thought the stove was broken. I 
                    was just checking it out.

                                PARKER
                    It doesn't mean you should light a 
                    match to check it out when you have 
                    the gas on! Ya' ball sack.

                                BALLARD
                    Why hasn't any pulled the alarm yet?

     Ballard runs over to the wall and pulls the FIRE ALARM.

								CUT TO:

     INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - SAME

     The fire alarm is blaring at a very loud volume. 
     Classroom doors begin to open and HUNDREDS OF STUDENTS 
     file out and begin to walk out of the building. In the 
     middle of the hallway we can see some teachers directing 
     the students one where to go. 

								CUT TO:

     EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - MINUTES LATER

     Students are standing around in the parking lot. More 
     come out of the school and wait around with the rest. 
     While they pile out, we can see smoke coming off the far 
     east side of the building.

     A FIRETRUCK can be heard approaching.

     Near the far back of the students is The Gang. REICTHER, 
     JOEL MAYBERRY, BRIAN VANDELE, BROCK WARNER, CASEY 
     JENNINGS, and CHRIS HUGHES are all standing around the 
     parking lot. There are dozens upon dozens of other 
     students near by but The Gang is standing in itís own 
     little area away from everyone else.

     Brock appears to be very anxious.

                                BROCK
                   This fire drill better be worth it. 
                   I'm missing out on finishing my 
                   project for this.

                                BRIAN
                   I think so. Look that smoke is 
                   coming from somewhere.

                                CHRIS
                   Holy shit! The school is actually on 
                   fire.

     While The Gang watches in amazement Joel notices that 
     Reicther has brought a newspaper with him.

                                JOEL
                   Why did you bring that out here?

                                REICTHER
                   So I could read my comics while we 
                   wait.

     Reicther begins to read. After a long pause he starts 
     laughing.

                                REICTHER
                   Oh "Family Circus", how you slay me.

     Joel rolls his eyes.

     EXT. SCHOOL - MAIN ENTRANCE - SAME

     PRINCIPAL BOB STEVENS is standing on top of the main 
     steps, addressing the entire TEACHING STAFF. Parker and 
     Ballard are near the front, with Mr. Zimmer right behind
     them.

                                STEVENS
                    All right! I just finished talking 
                    with the fire chief. Apparently the 
                    science wing has suffered very 
                    major damages.

     Zimmer looks embarrassed.

                                STEVENS
                    So big of damages that when I was 
                    given a rough estimate of how much 
                    it was cost to repair, I was so 
                    shocked I about shit out my heart. 
                    It only got worse when I mentioned 
                    that the teacher's lounge was 
                    burned up too and then he tacked on 
                    a couple thousand more. I swear 
                    people, after that I think I 
                    honestly suffered a mild stroke.

                                PARKER
                    That would explain the excess 
                    drooling, wouldn't it Bob?

     Stevens shots him a mean look.

                                STEVENS
                    I have found a way to pay for it...
                    by firing the idiot who started the 
                    fire.

     Zimmer gulps.

                                STEVENS
                    One year's salary should cover most 
                    of the costs. So now I must ask: 
                    which one of you incompetent dim 
                    wits lit my school on fire!

     Long pause.

                                STEVENS
                    I'll ask again...who's responsible 
                    for burning part of my school!

                                PARKER
                             (whispering)
                    Don't worry, Harry. I've got your 
                    back.

     Short silence followed by:

                                VOICE 1 (O.S.)
                    Zimmer did it!

                                VOICE 2 (O.S.)
                    I saw him do it!

                                VOICE 3 (O.S.)
                    He burned the science wing!

                                VOICE 4 (O.S.)
                    And stole my lunch!

     Stevens gives Zimmer an evil look. Parker pats Zimmer on 
     the back.

                                PARKER
                    Sorry pal. You got fucked five way 
                    till Sunday.

     Zimmer drops his head in embarrassment.                              


								TIME FADE: 

     EXT. SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - LATER

     TITLE CARD: "90 Minutes Later"

     The Gang is standing around, obviously bored out of 
     their minds. Reicther is still reading his newspaper. 
     Brock is standing around, looking impatient and wanting 
     to be somewhere else. Chris singing to himself. Casey 
     and Brian are in the middle of a conversation that Joel 
     is paying very close attention to.

                                CASEY
                    Yeah, he could do the robot.

     Casey does a very crappy version of the robot dance. 
     Brian scoffs, Joel cracks up.

                                JOEL
                    You are so lame.

                                CASEY
                    No, it's funny.

                                BRIAN
                    It's not realistic.

                                CASEY
                    It's supposed to be how a robot 
                    would dance. What's not realistic 
                    about it?

                                BRIAN
                    So a robot programmed well enough 
                    to have a dance function would do 
                    what you just did...

                                CASEY
                    Probably.

                                BRIAN
                    If they were to program a robot 
                    human enough to have a dance 
                    function it would have to be 
                    incredibly advanced and I don't 
                    think an incredibly advanced 
                    life-like robot would be programmed 
                    with such stiff moves. They would 
                    almost certainly give him at least 
                    slightly groovier moves.

                                JOEL
                    I think you're thinking of a super 
                    advanced robot. I mean, I think 
                    Casey's just talking about, like, a 
                    robot that appears in the next 
                    decade.

     Brock grunts in frustration.

                                CHRIS
                    What's eating him?

                                CASEY
                    He's mad that you don't realize I 
                    have mad skills as a dancer.

                                BROCK
                    I can't believe I'm missing my 
                    homework for this.

      Reicther makes a gasping sound and drops his jaw in 
      excitement.

                                REICTHER
                    Holy crap!

      Everyone stops what they're doing and turn to him.

                                JOEL
                    What?

                                REICTHER
                    According to this article the AMC 
                    theatre in Richmond is showing all 
                    six Star Wars movies in a row!

                                BRIAN
                    When?

      Reicther looks for the date.

                                REICTHER
                            (disappointed)
                    Today!

      Everyone groans and moans. 

                                BROCK
                    Ah man.

                                CASEY
                    A once in a lifetime opportunity 
                    like this and we're stuck at school.

                                CHRIS
                    When did it start?

                                REICTHER
                    Eight in the morning.

                                CHRIS
                          (looking at watch)
                    Damn it! Anakin should be turning 
                    to the dark side right about now.

                                JOEL
                           (disappointed)
                    Man.

                                BRIAN
                           (disappointed)
                    This is exact proof that God hates 
                    my very being.
                           (yelling to the sky)
                    Why must you tease me you sick son 
                    of a bitch!

                                CHRIS
                    I'd give anything to see it.

                                BROCK
                    Yeah but what can we do? We're 
                    stuck here.

     Long beat. Reicther is hit with an idea.

                                REICTHER
                    Maybe we CAN make it.

                                BROCK
                    Didn't you hear me? We're stuck 
                    in school.

                                REICTHER
                    Well, Brock there IS an easy 
                    solution that problem: we should 
                    ditch school.

                                BRIAN
                    Ditch school?

                                REICTHER
                    Yeah. Look the teachers have 
                    already taken head count, so they 
                    think were here. All we have to do 
                    is sneak away when everyone starts 
                    heading in.

                                BROCK
                    I don't know about this guys. 
                    Should we really skip school?

                                BRIAN
                    Well it's nearly noon so the school 
                    day is already half over.

     Everyone nods.

                                REICTHER
                    Plus when's the last time we did 
                    anything that was both dangerous 
                    and fun? Life's too short to be 
                    living a life on the straight and 
                    narrow. I say we need to live a 
                    little. Not just for ourselves but 
                    for Lando and for Han, and for that 
                    whiny, emo wanna be teen known as 
                    Anakin!

     Everyone seems to be getting excited about this plan, 
     except for Brock who still seems reluctant.

                                JOEL
                    I'm in! I've always wanted to see 
                    it on the big screen.

     Beat.

                                BRIAN
                    Miss school AND see Star Wars? No 
                    question about it, I'm in.

     Beat.

                                CASEY
                    AMC theatre...isn't that the place 
                    with the bottomless popcorn tubs?

                                REICTHER
                    I think so.

                                CASEY
                    I'm in!

     Beat.

                                CHRIS
                    Since I don't want to be left out, 
                    I'm going to give into peer 
                    pressure. I'm in!

     Beat. They all look at Brock.

                                BROCK
                    This is crazy. They're going to 
                    catch us.

                                REICTHER
                    What's the worse that can happen? 
                    They suspend us from going to any 
                    sporting event? Or stop us from 
                    going to homecoming?

     They all laugh.

                                BROCK
                    All right, all right. I'll go. But 
                    someone has to pay for my ticket.

                                BRIAN
                    I got your back.

                                JOEL 
                    Should someone tell Will?

                                CHRIS
                    He's a bit preoccupied at the 
                    moment.

      They all look to their right. A ways down we can see 
      Will talking with Nadine.

                                VOICE (O.S.)
                    All right. Everyone can go back to 
                    class.

                                REICTHER
                    Now's our chance. Quick behind 
                    those pick ups!

     Hundreds of students begin to make their way back into 
     the school. The Gang go the opposite way and hide behind 
     a series of cars. A few minutes go by and all the 
     students have returned to the school. The Gang pop their 
     heads out to check to see if the coast is clear.

                                REICTHER
                    All right, let's do it! Begin 
                    Operation Lando!

     They all cheer.

                                BRIAN
                    Wait. Who's car are we taking?

     Beat.

                                BRIAN
                    Not it!

                                JOEL
                    Not it!

                                CASEY
                    Not it!

                                REICTHER
                    Not it!

                                BROCK
                    Not it!

                                Chris
                    Not - DAMN IT!

                                REICTHER
                    Chris' van it is.

     They begin to make their way toward the van, all very 
     excited.
                               

							CUT TO:

     INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER

     Ellen is walking down the hallway, very down on herself. 
     Cathy appears out of nowhere, looking around.

                                CATHY
                    Ellen, have you seen Joel? It's 
                    like he's disappeared.

                                ELLEN
                               (sad)
                    No.

                                CATHY
                    Hey what's wrong with you? You look 
                    super depressed.

                                ELLEN
                    There is no such thing as 
                    depression. Just anger without any 
                    enthusiasm.

     Cathy giggles. After a beat, Ellen gives in.

                                ELLEN
                    Will's met a girl.

                                CATHY
                    So what? I met lots of girls.

                                ELLEN
                    Not one like this girl. She's funny, 
                    she's gorgeous. She likes 
                    everything that Will likes. It's 
                    like God is purposely trying to 
                    make impossible for me to have him 
                    all by myself.

                                CATHY
                    Aw, Ellen. Hard to believe. Under 
                    all that condescending wit and 
                    tough girl exterior...your just a 
                    big softie.

     Ellen rolls her eyes.

                                CATHY
                    I'm sure you have nothing to worry 
                    about. The one thing I've noticed 
                    about Will is that he values you a 
                    great deal. No girl can take him 
                    away from you.

     Suddenly Nadine passes by.

                                NADINE
                    Hey, Ellen.

                                ELLEN
                              (grumpy)
                    Hi Nadine.

     Cathy is stunned.

                                CATHY
                    That had to be the picture of 
                    absolute beauty.

     Ellen hits her.

                                ELLEN
                    Cathy, that's the girl.

     Cathy's eyes get big. She's surprised and feels sorry 
     for Ellen.

                                CATHY
                    Well...at least you have your 
                    personality.

                                ELLEN
                           (sarcastically)
                    Thanks. Big help.

     Cathy smiles and leaves. Ellen continues to walk only to 
     be stopped by a very happy Will.

                                WILL
                    Beautiful day, isn't Ellen?

                                ELLEN
                    I guess.

     Beat.

                                ELLEN
                    You seem extra chipper.

                                WILL
                    What can I say? I just made a 
                    really good new friend.                                     

                                ELLEN
                    Yeah that Nadine girl does seem to 
                    be quite the catch.

                                WILL
                    I guess. I mean she's funny, she's 
                    smart. Beautiful...
                             (trails off)

    Ellen pokes him to snap out of it.

                                WILL
                    For some reason I'm still not 
                    convinced.

                                ELLEN
                    Your hard to please.

                                WILL
                    What can I say. I have very high 
                    standards.

                                ELLEN
                    Didn't you date a girl who was 
                    pregnant?

                                WILL
                    You couldn't be more wrong...
                            (embarrassed)
                    ...she had already had the kid.

                                ELLEN
                    She had a baby? Oh Will. Haven't 
                    you ever heard three's a crowd?

                                WILL
                    Have you ever heard that you sound 
                    smarter when you don't talk?

                                ELLEN
                    Constantly. I'm considering 
                    adopting it as my new motto.

     Beat.

                                WILL
                    I just wish I could find out what's 
                    important in her life.

     Nadine appears.

                                NADINE
                    Will! You're not going to believe 
                    this. Kirk found the first "Batman" 
                    comic ever hidden in the library 
                    reference section! This is the 
                    coolest thing that's ever happened!

     She leaves with Will chasing after her. Ellen is more 
     hurt.

								CUT TO:

     EXT. CHRIS' VAN - LATER

     Establishing shot. It's driving down an empty city road.

								CUT TO:

     INT. CHRIS' VAN - CONTINUOUS

     Chris is driving and Brian is in the passenger seat. 
     Casey and Reicther are in the very back, while Joel and 
     Brock are in the middle section of the van.

     Reicther sighs.

                                REICTHER
                    How much further?

                                CHRIS
                    Almost there.

     Joel looks over at Brock and notices that Brock has put 
     on a pair of sunglasses and a hat he found from the 
     floor.

                                JOEL
                    What the hell is up with your new 
                    look? 

                                BROCK
                    I'm trying my hardest to be 
                    incognito. I don't want to be 
                    caught skipping school.

                                CHRIS
                    You know in this light you kinda 
                    look like a paler version of OJ 
                    Simpson, Brock.

                                BROCK
                    Is he football player or the 
                    murderer. 

                                BRIAN
                    He's more of the later then the 
                    former.

     Casey giggles.             

                                CASEY
                    Wee! Watch what I can do!

     Casey starts to bounce up and down, shaking the whole 
     car.

								CUT TO:

     EXT. CHRIS' VAN - CONTINUOUS

     The Van is bouncing up and down, hitting the road 
     causing sparks to fly everywhere.

								CUT TO:

     INT. CHRIS' VAN - CONTINUOUS

     Joel and Brock turn around and try to force Casey to 
     stop bouncing.

                                REICTHER
                    Hey that looks like fun!

     Reicther starts to bounce too. Casey breaks free of 
     Brock and Joel and starts bouncing too.

								CUT TO:

     EXT. CHRIS' VAN - CONTINUOUS

     The Van bounces even more before causing more sparks and 
     the bumper to come off all of a sudden.

								CUT TO:

     INT. CHRIS' VAN - CONTINUOUS

     Joel (grabbing Reicther) and Brock (holding onto Casey) 
     force them to stop. Even after they've been stopped, 
     Casey and Reicther still giggle like little school 
     children.

                                JOEL
                             (sighing)
                    I've got stupid in stereo.

     Chris tries to see the damages from his side mirror.

                                CHRIS
                    Shit! This van is brand new!

                                BRIAN
                    Maybe in 1981 it was.

     Reicther and Casey are start jumping up and down again.

                                CHRIS
                    So help me God I will turn this van 
                    around and go right back to school 
                    if you don't stop!

     They stop.

                                REICTHER
                    He started it.

                                CHRIS
                    Well I'm ending it.

     Long pause.

                                BRIAN
                    You guys wanna play "Would you 
                    rather?"

                                JOEL
                    Anything to end this awkward 
                    silence.

                                BRIAN
                    All right would you rather...be an 
                    auto mechanic or die of breast 
                    cancer?

     Joel, Chris, and Brock give horrified looks.

                                REICTHER & CASEY
                               (same time)
                    Cancer!

                                REICHTER
                    Jinx! Ha! You can't talk until you 
                    get me a coke.

     Casey is confused.

                                CASEY
                    Bu -

                                JOEL
                           (overlapping)
                    Sorry Case. He's right. Your not 
                    allowed to talk until you get him a 
                    soda. Thems the rules.

                                CHRIS
                    Here we are.

     THE GANG'S POV:
     Their looking a run down theatre with chipped paint and 
     faded walls.

     Brock is disgusted.     

                                BROCK
                    God it looks dilapidated.

                                REICTHER
                    Hey, you say dilapidated I saw it's 
                    small and cozy.

      They begin to get out of the van.

								CUT TO:

      INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER

      Parker and Ballard walk and talk.

                                PARKER
                    Man, I feel sorry for Harry.

                                BALLARD
                    He did bring this all upon himself. 
                    What did he expect by checking gas 
                    leak with a match.

                                PARKER
                    C'mon, Diane. He's a geography 
                    teacher. They're about as useful as 
                    a set of moral in congress. He just 
                    didn't know any better.

                                BALLARD
                    I just donít see how a teacher 
                    could be so careless to let 
                    something like this happen.

                                PARKER
                    There are just naturally bad 
                    teachers in the world, Diane.

      JUSTIN, a geeky look teen, runs up to Parker.

                                JUSTIN
                    Mr. Parker! Mr. Parker!

                                PARKER
                    Justin, why aren't you in class?

                                JUSTIN
                    I had to tell you that were missing 
                    six people in class!

      Parker becomes immensely afraid. Ballard seems worried.

                                PARKER
                    Come again?

                                JUSTIN
                    Why you were in the teachers lounge, 
                    we noticed that six people are 
                    missing from class.

      Parker and Ballard are dead silent.

								CUT TO:

     EXT. SCHOOL - SCIENCE WING - SAME

     Firefighters are working on the building when a LOUD 
     SCREAM comes from school. It's Mr. Parker. One the 
     firefighters scoffs.

                                FIREFIGHTER
                    I hate to be that guy.

								CUT TO:

     INT. THEATRE - LOBBY - SAME

     Brian and Casey are standing at the snack bar, as a 
     CASHIER is filling a bag with popcorn.

                                CASHIER
                    There you go, kid. One bottomless 
                    tub of popcorn.

     Hands it to Brian.

                                BRIAN
                    Thank you.

                                CASHIER
                              (to Casey)
                    What about you? What would you like?

     Casey is about to speak but Reicther walks by and shots 
     him an evil look. He begins making weird hand gestures. 
     The Cashier is confused.

                                CASHIER
                              (to Brian)
                    Is your friend here deaf and dumb?

                                BRIAN
                    No, just dumb.

     Casey sighs in frustration.

								CUT TO:

     INT. THEATRE - SCREENING - SAME

     Chris, Joel, and Reicther are all sitting together. 
     Brock sits about five rows ahead, his body lowered in 
     the seat.

                                JOEL
                    Brock, I keep telling you no one 
                    will find us here.

                                BROCK
                    I'm not going to risk it.

     Joel shrugs.


                                CHRIS
                    You know something that has always 
                    bother me about episode three?

                                JOEL
                    The shitty acting?

                                CHRIS
                    No.

                                REICTHER
                    The horrible dialogue.

                                CHRIS
                    Close.

                                JOEL
                    What is it then?

                                CHRIS
                    The major plot hole that ruins the 
                    movie.

                                REICTHER
                    What plot hole?

                                CHRIS
                    Okay. The Jediís have all kinds of 
                    powers right.

                                JOEL
                    Yeah.

                                CHRIS
                    And Yoda is known to see whatís 
                    going to happen in the future. 
                    Remember, he knew Anakin was going 
                    to be evil in episode one. 

                                REICTHER
                    Yet, Obi-Wan still trained and 
                    caused the downfall of society.
                             (under breath)
                    What a douche.

                                JOEL
                    What are you getting at, Chris?

                                CHRIS
                    How can a whole council of Jedi not 
                    see that they all are going to be 
                    killed by the clones! Not only that, 
                    but shouldn't one of them sense 
                    that there was a major conspiracy 
                    going on to take down the Jedi.

     Long pause. Reicther and Joel look at each other. 
     Reicther throws some popcorn at Chris.

                                REICTHER
                    Way to ruin the movie, Chris.

								CUT TO:

     INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER

     School is over. Kids are getting their stuff from their 
     lockers. Ellen is packed and ready. She walks down the 
     hall and bumps into Will.

                                WILL
                    Ellen, there you are.

                                ELLEN
                    Here I am indeed. How was your day?

                                WILL
                    Fantastic! Wonderful! Possibly the 
                    closet thing to perfection I've 
                    gotten to.

                                ELLEN
                          (fake enthusiasm)
                    That's great.

                                WILL
                    Nadine is just as big of a Batman 
                    fan as I am. She's got like 300 
                    issues of them in her basement.

                                ELLEN
                    Well, she seems lovely. You can 
                    tell me more on the way home.

                                WILL
                    That's what I wanted to talk with 
                    you about. I can't give you a ride 
                    home.

                                ELLEN
                    Why not?

                                WILL
                    Nadine is going to take me to a 
                    comic book store and help me get 
                    some Batman stuff.

                                ELLEN
                    Oh.

     Beat.

                                WILL
                    You okay?

                                ELLEN
                    Yeah, I'm fine.

                                WILL
                    I'm really sorry about the ride.

                                ELLEN
                    It's okay. I'll just get a ride 
                    from Arthur.

                                WILL
                    Okay. Well I guess I'll see you 
                    tomorrow.

                                ELLEN
                    Tomorrow it is.

     He runs off, completely unaware of how much he's hurt 
     Ellen.

								CUT TO:

     INT. THEATRE - LOBBY - SAME

     Casey is still trying to communicate without talking. He 
     is now beginning a game of charades with the original 
     cashier and two additional ones that have joined.

     Casey makes some hand gestures. 

                                CASHIER #1
                    First word.

     More hand gestures.

                                CASHIER #2
                    Me!

                                CASHIER #3
                    I!

     Casey nods.

                                CASHIER #1
                    Okay. First word is "I." Second 
                    word.

     Casey actions toward a giant coke poster.

                                CASHIER #2
                    Want!

                                CASHIER #3
                    "I want that coke poster!"

     Casey grunts, trying to tell them that's not right.

                                CASHIER #1
                    Now I understand him.

     They ignore him, believing that the poster answer is 
     right. Casey moves behind the counter and pours himself 
     a coke. He walks away.

     Beat. The answer hits them.

                                ALL
                    "I want a coke!"

                                CASHIER #2
                    God, I can't believe we didnít get 
                    that.

     They laugh it up.

                                CASHIER #1
                    Hey, didn't he just take a coke 
                    without paying?

                                CASHIER #3
                    I'll call the cops.

								CUT TO:

     INT. THEATRE - SCREENING - SECONDS LATER

     Casey enters and heads over to the guys (Brian now sits 
     with them.) He hands Reicther the soda.

                                CASEY
                    There's your damn soda.

                                REICTHER
                    Okay. You are now officially un 
                    jinxed. 

     Only a second later the lights dim.

                                ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
                    We now would like to start our 
                    feature presentation.

     The Gang cheer.

                                ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
                    It's that all time classic that's 
                    been popular for years...Sex Wars!

     A porno starts. Beat. The Gang is stupefied. 

                                JOEL
                    Is this a porno or did George Lucas 
                    make some drastic new changes to 
                    episode four?

     Beat.

                                BRIAN
                    Reicther, I thought you said they 
                    were showing all the "Star Wars" 
                    films today.

                                REICTHER
                    That's what the article in the 
                    paper said.

     Reicther into pocket and pulls out the article. Joel 
     takes it and reads it.

                                JOEL
                    God, man. You need glasses. It 
                    doesn't say "Star Wars", it says 
                    "Sex Wars."

                                BROCK
                    I've just risked my whole high 
                    school career to sneak into some 
                    cheap porno!

                                CHRIS
                    I don't think it's cheap. Just look 
                    at that CGI dildo.

                                BROCK
                    You're not helping!

     Arguing ensues. Reicther gets everyone's attention.

                                REICTHER
                    Everyone just calm down. Look, we 
                    should just get up and leave. We'll 
                    go to the shake shop or someplace 
                    secluded so we can hang low until 
                    school is over.

     Everyone nods in approval. Just then, BAM! The doors are 
     busted open and about TWELVE POLICE OFFICERS come 
     running in. 

                                POLICE OFFICER
                    Everyone freeze.

     Everyone freezes in the position they are in. The 
     officer sighs.

                                POLICE OFFICER
                    Not literally. Just stand in place 
                    and put your hands up in the air.

     They do so.

                                BRIAN
                    What seems to be the problem 
                    officer?

                                POLICE OFFICER
                    The cashier called and said some 
                    mentally retarded kid stole some 
                    refreshments from the lobby.

     They all look at Casey who laughs nervously.

                                CASEY
                    I didn't want to be jinxed anymore.

                                BROCK
                    I'll jinx you, you stupid 
                    motherfucker.

     Brock tries to choke Casey but gets shot with an 
     elephant dart. He passes out and hits the ground hard.

                                OFFICER
                    All right, cuff 'em boys.

     The various officers begin to cuff The Gang. Everyone 
     seems to be sad.

                                CHRIS
                    Cheer up guys. At least the worst 
                    of it is over.

								CUT TO:

     EXT. THEATRE - SAME

     A male Newscaster is standing in front of the place, 
     doing a news report.

                                NEWSCASTER
                    Thanks, Carla. Our hearts and 
                    prayers go out to the families of 
                    the six missing students from 
                    Centerville High School. Tonight, 
                    it's a channel ten investigation 
                    into the seedy world of pornography.
                    When we arrived we got an 
                    unexpected surprise. It turns out 
                    that police are in the middle of a 
                    major bust. In fact here they come.

     The police emerge, each one with a member of the Gang 
     handcuffed by their side. Newscaster approaches them.

                                NEWSCASTER
                    Excuse me, but do you gentlemen 
                    have any thing to say for 
                    yourselves?

                                CASEY
                    Hi mom!

     Joel and Brian have had a enough. They break free and 
     attempt to attack Casey. Both of them get darts in their 
     necks. They go down instantly.

                                NEWSCASTER
                    That seemed a bit excessive, don't 
                    you think?

                                OFFICER
                    Not as excessive as what that hobo 
                    is doing.

     The newscaster looks off camera, while the Officer shots 
     a dart into his neck. Newscaster goes down, the officer 
     gets a cheap laugh out of it.

								CUT TO:

     INT. WILL'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME

     Nadine is on the couch watching TV.

                                NADINE
                    Will, come in here!

     Will quickly enters the room.

                                NADINE
                    Aren't those your friends on TV?

     Will looks at the TV.

     ON THE TV-
     A struggle has broken out. Chris, Casey, and Reicther 
     are jumping around trying to break free. The officers 
     are having a hard time holding them down.

                                CHRIS
                    Hate crime! Hate crime!

     Chris gets a dart in the neck and falls over.

     Will, nervous, snatches the remote from Nadine.

                                WILL
                    I've never seen those people in my 
                    life.

                                NADINE
                    But I could have sworn I -

                                WILL
                    Hey look. It's Gilmore Girls. Why 
                    don't be both shut the hell up for 
                    about an hour to watch it.

     Will sits down. Nadine smiles. She shakes her head and 
     they begin watching TV.

								FADE TO:

     (BEGIN SONG: Bruce Springsteen's "Drive All Night")

     EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - MINUTES LATER

     Establishing shot. A beat up old 1986 Ford Taurus pulls up 
     into one of the parking spaces.

								CUT TO:

     INT. ARTHUR'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

     ARTHUR WINCHESTER puts the car into park. Ellen is 
     in the passenger's seat, staring out the car window. Her 
     mind is elsewhere.

                                ARTHUR
                    So Ellen...here we are.

                                ELLEN
                             (elsewhere)
                    Yep.

     Long beat. Arthur obviously wants to make a move.

                                ARTHUR
                    I was wondering if, you know, 
                    you wanted to hang out?

     Ellen turns to him.

                                ELLEN
                    "Hang out?"

                                ARTHUR
                    Yeah, like uh watch TV, or talk, or 
                    something along those lines.

     Ellen thinks it over. Sheís still deep in thought over 
     Nadine and Will.     

                                ELLEN
                           (half heartedly)
                    Sure. Why the hell not.

     Arthur is overjoyed.

                                ELLEN
                    Why don't we hang here.

                                ARTHUR
                              (excited)
                    Okay.

     They both get out of the car and head toward the apartment.

								FADE TO:

     INT. JAIL - LATER THAT NIGHT

     The Gang are all huddled around each other, defeated. 
     Brock, Brian, and Joel are all lying on the floor. They 
     moan and groan, grabbing their heads in pain. Chris, and 
     Casey sit on the bench. Each one has an ice pack on a 
     different part of the body. Reicther stands holding the 
     bars looking out. He seems the most depressed out of all 
     of them.

     On the wall across the cell is a TV playing a game show.

                                CHRIS
                    I can't believe that after all that 
                    we never got to see one stinking 
                    "Star Wars" movie.

                                CASEY
                    Obi-Wan must be rolling over in his 
                    grave.

                                JOEL
                              (sighs)
                    My mom is going to kill me.
                               (beat)
                    Actually she'll probably have her 
                    new boyfriend do it for her.

     Beat.

                                REICTHER
                              (to himself)
                    So close...

     An officer enters the hall.

                                OFFICER
                    All right you kids. Your parents 
                    will be around here shortly.

     He begins to leave.

                                BRIAN
                    Uh, sir! I hate to be a pain in the 
                    lower back region but could you 
                    change the channel. When my mom 
                    comes and rips me a new asshole I'd 
                    like to be watching something more 
                    respectable then "Who Wants to Be a 
                    Millionaire."

                               OFFICER
                              (annoyed)
                    Fine.

     The Officer starts flipping channels. He just so happens 
     to land on "Star Wars", which is playing on one of the 
     local channels. He walks away.

     At first no one notices. But as soon as the music starts 
     playing everyone turns their attention toward the TV. 
     The guys lying on the floor get up, as do the ones 
     sitting on the bench. They all stand right up against 
     the bars staring at the TV. And like that their 
     depression seems to be lifted as they are fixated on the 
     movie.

     They smile as they finally have reached their goal.                            

                                                        FADE OUT.
                           
                            END OF EPISODE


                                

                                




     













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