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THE LUNCHROOM
Episode Eighteen
"Rehearsals for Departure"
Teleplay by
Bruce Snyder & Dominic Flanagan
Story by
Bruce Snyder
Created by
Bruce Snyder
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Bruce Snyder
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Vincent Biga
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
Edward Drogos
STORY EDITOR
Rebecca Parker
CAST LIST
Will Cooper.................................
Joel Mayberry...............................
Brian Vandele...............................
Brock Warner................................
Reicther....................................
Casey Jennings..............................
Chris Hughes................................
Ellen Conner................................
Cathy Matthews..............................
Mr. John Parker.............................
GUEST CAST LIST
Ms. Diane Ballard...........................
Brandon Brim................................
Richard Belzer..............................
Principal Bob Stevens.......................
Kirk........................................
Joseph Said.................................
Richard Belzer..............................
Tom Lawrence................................
Police Officer Kellerman....................
Police Officer #1...........................
Police Officer #2...........................
Copyright © Bruce Snyder
TEASER
FADE IN:
(BEGIN SONG: The Beach Boys' "You Still Believe In Me")
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
It's a very peaceful neighborhood. Nice, big houses
lined up on both sides of the street. It is very quiet
when suddenly we can hear an extra loud MOTOR can be
heard from far away.
Out of nowhere, CASEY JENNINGS turns the corner riding
his scooter. BROCK WARNER is sitting in the back,
holding on to Casey's shoulders. Because of the weight
of the two, the scooter is only going about 10 to 15
miles per hour.
BROCK
Damn it, Casey! I thought you said
you got this piece of junk fixed!
CASEY
I never said it was fixed "well", I
just said I got it fixed.
BROCK
Between this and what you did to
Joel's door, you might it give off
the impression that you're an idiot!
CASEY
So what? Doors are very cheap this
days.
BROCK
In what make believe land are doors
cheap?
CASEY
Uh...
(can't think)
...Shut up!
BROCK
We would have gotten there faster
if we rode turtles!
CASEY
Hey, at least I have some kind of
motor vehicle that we -
Casey suddenly stops. Something is wrong.
BROCK
What? What's the problem?
CASEY
Brock...do farts have lumps in them?
BROCK
(confused)
...No!
CASEY
Oops. Then I may have shit my pants.
BROCK
Jesus!
Brock quickly jumps off. He lands on his feet. Casey
stops the scooter only a few feet away from him.
CASEY
Hey, I said "may have"!
Brock shakes his head.
BROCK
Look, we need to find an alternate
and faster way to get to theater.
Unless you want our nice little
group of friends to break up.
CASEY
Of course I don't want that.
Casey looks around.
CASEY
Wait a minute! I know what we can do.
BROCK
What?
CASEY
An old buddy of mine, Billy Costigan,
he lives around here. Maybe we can
borrow his truck.
Brock shrugs.
BROCK
It's worth a shot. Which way?
CASEY
Follow me.
Casey heads off in one direction, Brock follows.
(SONG FADES AWAY.)
CUT TO:
INT. HOUSE - MINUTES LATER
It's a giant, posh house. The walls are white and oddly
enough there's not a lot of furniture around. The front
door is cracked open. Casey pops his head in.
CASEY
Hello?
FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
Oh hey! Come on in.
Brock and Casey enter the house.
CASEY
Nice place.
Suddenly a MAN enters from the other room, wearing a
suit.
MAN
Hello, gentlemen. Have a seat.
BROCK
Um...okay.
Brock and Casey sit. Beat. The Man looks them over.
MAN
Why did you gentlemen come here
tonight?
CASEY
To borrow my friend's truck.
MAN
No...you came here for sex with
little boys.
BROCK
WHAT?!
MAN
Gentlemen, I have to confess
something. My name is Chris Hansen
and this is NBC Dateline's "To
Catch a Predator."
Brock understands what's going on.
BROCK
Oh.....Shit!
CASEY
Never seen it. Does it have anything
to do with the Arnold Schwarzenegger
movie, "Predator?"
CHRIS HANSEN
No, actually on our show we track
down people who try to have sex
with minors over the internet.
CASEY
(scoffs)
That's a horrible idea for a show.
CHRIS HANSEN
Let me guess...
(points at
Casey)
You're BuffaloButt2415...
(points at
Brock)
...and you're LongDongSilver74.
Brock pretends to hear something.
BROCK
What? You hear that Casey? That's
common sense telling us to get the
hell out of here!
Brock grabs Casey and they run out of the house. Hansen
pulls out a walkie talkie.
CHRIS HANSEN
(into Walkie Talkie)
Crows nest, this is little squirrel.
The acorns have been dug up, I
repeat the acorns have been dug up,
over.
VOICE (O.S.)
Roger little squirrel, project
hibernation commencing.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Brock and Casey run across the yard and head the down
the sidewalk. After a few seconds they disappear
completely. Nothing happens. Suddenly a POLICE OFFICER
stands up from the bushes and looks around.
POLICE OFFICER
What the hell did he mean by
"acorns have been dug up?"
POLICE OFFICER #2
How the hell should I know!
SMASH CUT TO:
OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:
Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the
credits.
AFTER CREDITS:
FADE IN:
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Establishing shot. Joel's RED JEEP is barreling down the
road.
CUT TO:
INT. JEEP - CONTINUOUS
At the steering wheel is JOEL MAYBERRY, still dressed in
a suit and tie. Joel seems very alert and panicky. The
song "Don't Know Why" by Nora Jones is blaring from the
radio.
Suddenly Joel looks at the radio, almost as he realizes
what is playing.
JOEL
I'm not about to clear my
conscience with Nora Jones playing.
I need better music for this.
He changes the station. "Not Yet a Woman" by Britney
Spears.
JOEL
...I can do better.
He changes the station. "London Bridge" by Fergie. Joel
groans.
JOEL
God, Helen Keller could do better.
He changes the station. "Gimmie Shelter" by The Rolling
Stones.
JOEL
Hell yeah! I am now officially
pumped to tell the truth!
As the song blasts, we can hear a cellphone RING. Joel
looks around.
JOEL
What the hell?
Looks around. He reaches onto the floor and picks up a
phone. He opens it up and answers.
JOEL
This isn't Margie Mayberry so call
back -
CATHY (O.S.)
(overlapping)
Joel, it's me Cathy.
JOEL
Oh hi, sweetie.
Suddenly we hear a loud THUMP. Joel stops the car.
JOEL
Oh God, please don't be a
pedestrian, please don't be a
pedestrian.
Joel slowly looks back.
JOEL
Yes! Just a stop sign!
He shifts back into drive and heads on.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN - SAME
It's a small kitchen with a four person table in the
middle. The rim is dimly light with a few candles. CATHY
MATTHEWS is sitting at the table. He face is very red,
almost as if she has just stopped crying.
CATHY
What are you talking about?
(We now intercut between them.)
JOEL
Oh, nothing. I certainly didn't
think I hit a person.
Beat.
CATHY
Joel...I was wondering if we could
talk.
JOEL
(not paying
attention)
Quick, honey. Refresh my memory.
Does yield mean stop?
CATHY
I think so.
JOEL
(to himself)
Oops. Too late now.
CATHY
C'mon, Joel. I want to talk to you.
Joel seems conflicted.
JOEL
Actually, honey I'm a bit busy.
CATHY
Please. I REALLY need to talk to
you.
Beat. Joel seems annoyed and sighs.
JOEL
Okay, okay. I'll call you back in a
bit, all right honey?
Cathy seems displeased but gives in.
CATHY
Fine.
Hangs up.
CUT TO:
EXT SCHOOL - SAME
Establishing shot. The parking lot is just packed with
cars. We can see a sign near the door which says "My Far
Lady: Friday & Saturday at 7 pm."
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
It's intermission. The place is packed with a variety of
people. There's some old people who seem full of joy,
while some of the younger ones look bored out of their
minds. There's a line of people at the concession stand.
Near the corner of the room we can see BRIAN VANDELE,
REICTHER, CHRIS HUGHES, and BRANDON BRIM standing around
talking.
Chris is finishing a story.
CHRIS
So it's not my fault. I mean it's
not that weird of a sexual fantasy.
I mean, I bet everyone likes to be
spanked by a G.I. Joe. Right?
Brandon shoots him a look.
BRIAN
Dude, you've said that so many
times it's lost all meaning.
Brandon looks around.
BRANDON
(to BRIAN)
I'm just going to the bathroom.
BRIAN
Okay.
Brandon walks away.
CHRIS
(whispering)
Reicther!
REICTHER
Yeah?
CHRIS
(whispering)
Now would be a good time to go
annoy Brim.
REICTHER
Okay, good idea.
Reicther starts to make his way through the crowded
room.
REICTHER
Come on, people! Coming through!
Make way for Reicther!
Reicther finally makes it to the bathroom and enters.
CUT TO:
INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
Brandon is at one of the urinals. Reicther walks in and
uses the one next to him.
REICTHER
Oh, my God! Hi Brandon!
BRANDON
Uh, hi.
REICTHER
Wow, who would have thought we
would be peeing in the same
bathroom! I mean, holy mother of
God! Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to
say holy mother of God! God, what
was I thinking? Oh, sorry! I am
such an idiot!
Brandon rolls his eyes.
BRANDON
It's fine.
Beat.
REICTHER
You really love God, don't you?
BRANDON
Yeah, I guess you could say that.
REICTHER
Well, I'm right! You do, you love
God! You're obsessed with the big
guy! You want to date him, and have
sex with him, and suck his dick and
everything!
Brandon is shocked by this.
BRANDON
Uh...sorry. I don't.
REICTHER
Oh, please. Call me Reicther.
BRANDON
Why? It's your last name.
REICTHER
So?
BRANDON
Well, you don't call me Brim.
REICTHER
Oh, but I do.
Reicther gets right up close to Brandon, and says into
his ear:
REICTHER
Brim. Brim. Brim, Brim, Brim. Brim,
Brim, Brim, Brim, Bu-rim!!
Brandon looks a little annoyed. Beat.
REICTHER
Brim.
Beat.
REICTHER
So, who do you think would win in a
fight? Jesus or Budda?
BRANDON
(offended)
What?
REICTHER
I'm just saying, I've seen Budda in
pictures, he's a really fat guy. He
could probably just sit on Jesus,
and kill the skinny little bastard!
BRANDON
Please don't call my lord a bastard.
Reicther gets right up to Brandon's ear again.
REICTHER
(whispering)
Bastard.
Brandon zips up, turns around and leaves.
REICTHER
Hey, you didn't wash your hands!
That's a sin!
BRANDON
(on his way
out; annoyed)
Jesus Christ!
REICTHER
I heard that!
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - SECONDS LATER
Chris and Brian are still in the corner, eating on small
snacks and talking. A frustrated Brandon walks by.
BRANDON
(angry)
I'm going back to my seat.
Brian and Chris exchange looks.
CHRIS
What's wrong with him?
Reicther walks up, smiling. Brian sees him and
immediately realizes what the problem is.
BRIAN
(sarcastically)
Oh I don't know.
Brian enters the auditorium.
REICTHER
God, I hate this Brim guy.
CHRIS
He seems like the kind of guy that
would fuck my sister just to give
her AIDS.
REICTHER
(confused)
You have a sister?
Chris sighs and changes the subject.
CHRIS
Good work so far, Reicther. But
you've got to keep this up. You've
got to be real annoying, and I mean
Madonna annoying.
Reicther looks at him.
REICTHER
Chris, my man from a foreign land...
I'm going to be more annoying then
the show "Lost."
Reicther goes back into the auditorium.
CHRIS
(under breath)
That's a decent show you punk.
CUT TO:
INT. DIRECTOR'S BOOTH - AUDITORIUM - SAME
MR. JOHN PARKER is sitting at the control booth, wearing
a headset. He's leaning back in his chair, enjoying the
break that comes with intermission.
PARKER
Okay, Nicole. Act II starts in just
a few moments. Make sure everyone
is about ready.
He messes with the switchboard just as MS. DIANE
BALLARD walks in.
PARKER
Where the hell have you been? The
show started about forty minutes
ago.
Ballard, who looks very depressed, walks over and sits
in the other chair next to Parker.
PARKER
By the way you were right about
leaving your room when I did. When
I was leaving I actually saw
Stevens coming down the hall.
(laughs)
Could you imagine getting caught by
him?
BALLARD
Oh, I have a vague idea what it
would be like.
Parker shots her a weird look.
PARKER
(confused)
What?
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - SAME
Chris is now at the concession booth, talking to the
GIRL working it.
CHRIS
What are these things called again?
GIRL
I've told you before sir, they're
called Eskimo Pies.
CHRIS
Whatever they are, they're fucking
awesome. I'll take five more.
The Girl rolls her eyes and starts searching for Eskimo
Pies. As Chris anxiously awaits, Joel comes running in
from the outside. He does a quick look over of the room
before noticing Chris.
JOEL
Chris! Thank God I've found you.
Joel runs over.
CHRIS
Joel, have you ever had a Eskimo pie?
They're the fucking shiznit!
JOEL
Look, I don't have time for your
Jewish mumble jumble I just need to
find Brian!
CHRIS
He's inside the auditorium with -
Without hesitation, Joel takes off.
CHRIS
Wa-Wait for me!
The girl sits down a group ESKIMO PIES which Chris quickly
grabs and chases after Joel with.
CHRIS
I said wait you ignorant American!
Chris enters the theatre section of the auditorium.
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM - THEATRE - CONTINUOUS
Chris enters and looks around for the others. He passes
by the Director's Booth which we stop and focus on. We
can see that Ballard is finishing telling Parker about
what happened. As she tells the story it becomes obvious
that Parker is feeling guilty.
The lights flicker. A warning that the show is going to
start soon. Parker starts to run his hand through his
hair, distraught.
CUT TO:
INT. BACKSTAGE - HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER
There are several cast members and crew members hustling
and bustling around. WILL COOPER and ELLEN CONNER are
walking down the hall and talking. Will, finished with
his scene, is slowly trying take his fake beard off.
ELLEN
Anyway, I was sitting in my room working on
an essay when I saw a commercial on
TV for a special edition of Iron
Chef America. It was guest-starring
this slutty Italian cook that I
hate and this other chick named Rachel Ray,
whose cooking show my mom watches
religiously and who I've grown to
think is pretty cool. So I turned
on the show, and I actually became
little-girl excited about watching
Rachel Ray trounce the slutty
Italian bitch. THEN my mom knocked
on my door and told me that there
was a charity event called
Operation Christmas Child going on
at her work, and that I should wrap
a present for a needy kid in Africa.
I knew about this event a week ago,
and I agreed to go. But this was
Rachel Ray! So you know what I did?
I lied to my mother by telling her
I had just thrown up in the
bathroom and it was impossible for
me to go.
Just as she finishes, Will rips the fake beard off and
screams in pain. EVERYONE around him shushes him.
WILL
So you're basically telling me that
Rachel Ray is more important then
impoverished children?
ELLEN
Not just Rachel Ray...Iron Chef
America!
WILL
Even Hitler would be amazed at how
evil you are. Stalin is rolling in
his grave, muttering "that bitch is
out of her mind."
ELLEN
I can't help it. Rachel Ray was my
inspiration for making risotto for
the first time, and I was so proud
of myself after that that she won a
permanent place in my culinary
heart.
WILL
Culinary heart? Didn't that one fat
comedian have that?
ELLEN
Chris Farley? John Belushi?
WILL
Doesn't matter, they're all the
same. I swear, God must have some
rule that no funny man that weighs
more then a whale can live past age
thirty three.
The backstage lights flicker on and off. It's time for
the curtain to go up.
ELLEN
Well, I'm do on stage.
Beat. She seems to be waiting for Will to do something,
although Will doesn't get it.
ELLEN
I guess I'll be going now.
(beat)
I won't be off for at least forty
minutes.
Will tries to say something but becomes so nervous that
nothing comes out.
VOICE (O.S.)
Thirty seconds till curtain, Ellen.
ELLEN
See ya' after the show.
WILL
(nervous)
Ah, uh...S-See ya'.
Ellen leaves the hall. Will takes a few breaths. He
stumbles over to the corner and has a "I can't believe I
blew it" look on his face.
Suddenly, almost out of nowhere, RICHARD BELZER (a
figment of Will's imagination) appears. He gives a
small golf clap.
BELZER
My friend, you were amazing.
WILL
Amazing? I stumbled on my only line!
BELZER
Well...at least you were better
than that girl that keep falling
down during that dance number.
WILL
That's because she has a wooden leg.
BELZER
It did look unusually brown.
Will looks around. Everyone has gone to the stage.
WILL
Have you come to check out the show?
BELZER
Actually I've come to check out
that little redhead, Ellen.
(wolf whistle)
Smart, sexy. Everything you could
want.
WILL
Is that a subtle hint at something?
BELZER
Was I being too blunt?
Will shakes his head.
BELZER
What's wrong with you, Professor
Karpathy?
WILL
I've got to get help.
BELZER
Excuse me?
WILL
I've got to see some kind of shrink
or doctor because I'm going crazy.
BELZER
What makes you think that?
WILL
Because I'm getting love advice
from a fucking figment of my
imagination!
BELZER
Oh that doesn't make you crazy.
WILL
Says the hallucination! And a
contradicting one to boot.
BELZER
How am I contradicting?
WILL
When I first tried out for this,
you warned me to say away from her.
That she was going to do something
bad. Now you're trying to push me
towards her?
Beat.
BELZER
I said that?
WILL
Yes! You did!
BELZER
Hey, I'm a hallucination. I'm
suppose to fuck with you're mind.
Will groans in frustration.
WILL
I'm going nuts!
BELZER
(following him)
Hey, sometimes it's to your
advantage for people to think
you're crazy.
They leave the hall.
CUT TO:
EXT. ROAD - MINUTES LATER
A beat up old, yellow van is moving down the road at a
fairly slow rate. Tons of black smoke is coming from the
tailpipe.
INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS
In the driver's seat is KIRK and in the passenger's side
is JOSEPH SAID. We can see Brock and Casey are sitting
in the back. Brock looks angry at this arrangement.
Joseph takes a hit off a joint.
JOSEPH
(to Kirk)
You want some man?
KIRK
Are you kidding? I'm driving, man.
I've gotta be safe.
He reaches off camera and grabs a bottle of beer.
KIRK
I can't have anything effecting my
mind.
Kirk takes a big drink.
KIRK
Sometimes, I feel that Samuel Adams
is the only one who truly
understands me.
Brock groans.
BROCK
(quietly; to Casey)
I can't believe you talked me into
this.
CASEY
(quietly)
We needed to get there, and these
guys were offering us a ride.
BROCK
(quietly)
We're in a crappy old van being
driven by a pot head! All we need
is a talking dog and we've got
ourselves an episode of
"Scooby-Doo."
Kirk has a revelation.
KIRK
Is it just me, or is it possible that
Shaggy and Scoob were stoners?
JOSEPH
You know that would explain some
things. They were always hungry.
Brock lets out a loud sigh.
BROCK
Jesus, I can't believe this.
CASEY
(quietly)
Stop complaining. We'll be there in
no time.
Suddenly a POLICE SIREN is heard. Red and Blue lights
start to flash. Both Casey and Brock sigh.
JOSEPH
Like Zoinks, Kirk. It's the police!
Kirk comes to a complete stop.
KIRK
Don't worry, I know how act calm,
cool, and collect in front of an
officer.
After a few seconds, OFFICER KELLERMAN approaches. Kirk
rolls down his window.
KELLERMAN
Son, do you know how fast you were
going?
Pause. Kirk is beginning to shake.
CASEY
Kirk, are you okay?
Beat.
KIRK
I DON'T KNOW YOU!!!
Kirk reaches for the beer bottles and SMASHES into
Kellerman's face.
BROCK
Jesus Christ!!!
Kellerman falls to ground.
KIRK
Everyman for himself!
Kirk and Joseph quickly get out of the van. Casey and
Brock are speechless.
BROCK
How are we going to get out of this?
CASEY
I think we can sneak away. Looks
like the officers are busy with
those two.
Casey points out the window. Brock looks too.
BROCK'S POV:
Kirk and Joseph are running in a big circle with
Kellerman following them.
BROCK
You're right. Let's get out of here.
Casey and Brock get out of the Van.
EXT. VAN - CONTINUOUS
Brock and Casey slowly sneak away, while Kellerman
continues to run circles with Kirk and Joseph.
KIRK
Keep running, Joseph! Eventually
he'll need to pick out the glass
from his face!
This continues for a few more seconds.
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM - AUDIENCE - SAME
Brian, Joel, Brandon, Reicther, and Chris are all
sitting in the very back row. Joel keeps looking over at
Brian, trying to get the courage to tell him. Reicther
is whispering something to Brandon, who is about ready
to kill Reicther. Chris sits on the end, stuffing Eskimo
pies into his face like there's no tomorrow.
Ellen is on stage with a few others, performing a song
called "Show Me." Reicther finishes a joke.
REICTHER
So God turns to Bill Gates and says
"that WAS the screen saver."
People shush him.
REICTHER
Oh go shush yourselves.
He quiets down. Joel leans in to Brian.
JOEL
(whispering)
Tell me something Brian.
BRIAN
(whispering)
Yes.
JOEL
(whispering)
Have you ever felt you had to
redeem yourself?
BRIAN
(whispering)
Redeem myself?
JOEL
(whispering)
For something that weighted down
yourself and so you had to do
something to put it at peace and
make it go away.
BRIAN
(whispering)
I guess I have.
JOEL
(whispering)
Brian, I've been dating Cat -
CHRIS
(overlapping)
Oh God! Did you see that! I think
that guy seriously hurt himself.
Joel and Brian look toward the stage. We can hear other
audience members laugh off camera. After a few seconds
of chuckling, Brian turns back to Joel.
BRIAN
(whispering)
What were you saying?
JOEL
(whispering)
Nothing.
Beat.
REICTHER
(to BRANDON)
She's hot! Don't you think she's
hot?
BRANDON
(greatly annoyed)
She's okay.
REICTHER
Okay? Are you gay or something?
BRANDON
(through bared
teeth)
No.
REICTHER
Castrated? I know that some
religions make you do that.
BRANDON
No, I'm not. Can we just watch the
play?
Reicther and Brandon continue to watch.
REICTHER
Sorry, I missed loads. Who's that
guy?
BRANDON
I don't know.
REICTHER
Sorry.
(beat)
What did that guy just say?
BRANDON
(annoyed)
No idea.
REICTHER
What did that guy say when I said
"Who's that guy?"
Brandon glares evilly at Reicther. He then takes a can
of Pepsi from his pocket.
BRANDON
(to REICTHER)
You want some cola?
REICTHER
Yeah, sure.
Brandon (deliberately) spills some cola into Reicther's
lap.
BRANDON
Oh, sorry. My hand slipped.
REICTHER
No problem at all.
Reicther opens his potato chips and throws a handful of
them into Brandon’s face.
BRANDON
Agh! What the fuck!
REICTHER
Shh! The play's in progress!
Brandon slurps his cola, glaring at Reicther. The CAMERA
then PANS LEFT until we are focused on the Director's
Booth.
CUT TO:
INT. DIRECTOR'S BOOTH - CONTINUOUS
Parker is slumped down in his seat, while Ballard is
intently watching the show.
BALLARD
No offense, John but Anne Frank was
in better spirits then you are
right now.
PARKER
Look, Diane. I'm sorry.
BALLARD
About what?
PARKER
You know what.
BALLARD
It's okay. We shouldn't both have
to suffer because of it.
Beat.
PARKER
What if I told him it was me?
BALLARD
You're serious?
PARKER
(pointing)
This...is my serious face.
Beat.
PARKER
Look, maybe you'll get off on a
lighter sentence.
BALLARD
Maybe you're the dumbest person
I've ever known.
PARKER
I'm just trying to own up to what I
did.
BALLARD
I think the time for owning up has
passed.
Parker sighs.
BALLARD
Just deal with it, John. I
lost my job, you didn't. You
shouldn't be feeling guilty.
PARKER
Unfortunately, guilt's all I've got
to work with.
Diane turns to him and looks him directly in the eye.
BALLARD
John...if you even care about me in
the smallest form, you'll remain
silent.
Parker reluctantly agrees by nodding his head.
FADE TO BLACK.
TITLE CARD:
"One Hour Later"
CUT TO:
EXT. SCHOOL - NIGHT
Establishing shot. There are still dozens of cars packed
into the parking lot. Suddenly out of nowhere Brock and
Casey appear. Casey seems like he's going to collapse.
CASEY
(short of breath)
That's the most I've ever walked.
BROCK
We only walked five blocks!
CASEY
(defensive)
It seemed like ten!
(beat)
Shit, we're not too late are we?
Brock pulls out his pocket watch.
BROCK
Apparently my watch is broke.
CASEY
Since when?
BROCK
According to this, March 25th 2004.
(beat)
I thought it was weird that it was
always three in the morning.
CASEY
Forget it, let's just go in.
They enter the school.
CUT TO:
INT. AUDITORIUM - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
The show has just ended. Mobs of people are leaving the
theatre, all abuzz about the show. Little groups start
to form as young and old talk about the show. Casey and
Brock enter and look around.
BROCK
I think we're too late.
BRIAN (O.S.)
Over here, guys!
Casey and Brock walk over to Brian, Reicther, Chris, and
Joel. Brock and Casey seem a little concern, unsure if
Joel has accomplished what he set out for.
BRIAN
God you guys missed a boring piece
of shit.
CHRIS
Hey, it wasn't that bad.
BRIAN
It was three hours too long!
CHRIS
You just don't appreciate musical
theatre.
As they two argue, Brock and Casey give Joel a look.
After a second, Joel shakes his head signaling that he
didn't go through with it. Brock and Casey sigh in
relief.
Just then, Brandon Brim walks by.
BRIAN
Hey, Brandon.
BRANDON
(angry)
Stay away from me!
Brian is taken back.
BRIAN
What's wrong with you?
BRANDON
My problem is YOU PEOPLE!!! Do you
have any idea how much you annoy me?
I've always been taught to love and
not to hate. But you are proving to
be an exception to the rule!
BRIAN
I thought we were friends.
BRANDON
You're okay. It's these..."others"
that are the problem.
Brandon walks up to Casey.
BRANDON
(to Casey)
You are one of the stupidest people
I've ever met.
Casey licks his lips.
CASEY
Anyone else taste purple?
Brandon walks up to Brock.
BRANDON
You're too quiet! For God's sake
speak up! Sometimes I forget you're
even there.
Brock is about to say something but gives up.
BROCK
I got nothing.
Brandon walks up to Joel.
BRANDON
You...
(beat)
Actually I don't think we've met.
JOEL
I'm Joel Mayberry.
BRANDON
Joel...you hang out with assholes.
So you're an asshole by association.
Brandon walks up to Reicther.
BRANDON
You...words can't even begin to
describe the anger and hate that
flows through my veins when you are
around me.
REICTHER
Ha ha. You guys got yelled at. He
didn't even say anything bad about
me.
Brandon, frustrated, screams and then leaves.
BRIAN
Even with our lord and savior on
his side, he sill hates us.
Pause.
BRIAN
Who wants to go to my house?
Everyone nods and say some words of agreement. They
begin to leave.
CUT TO:
(BEGIN SONG: Pearl Jam's "Immortality.")
INT. AUDITORIUM - THEATRE - SAME
Parker and Ballard have just finished talking to some
students. After they leave, Ballard gives Parker a look.
BALLARD
Well, it was nice knowing you John.
Parker still looks guilty. Just then PRINCIPAL BOB
STEVENS is leaving.
PARKER
Bob, wait!
Stevens turns to him.
PARKER
Why don't you take your lips off
the board members asses for a
second.
(beat)
Look Diane wasn't having sex with a
student. She was having sex with me.
And before you start yelling at me
or wonder how probable this all is
I want you to know that I’m not
afraid. I shouldn't fear some
little ignorant brown noser like
yourself.
Stevens is staring him right in the eyes. Ballard is stunned.
PARKER
What do you say to that, Bob?
Beat.
STEVENS
Okay, you're fired tool Pack your
stuff and be gone by Monday morning.
Stevens walks away.
PARKER
(calling out)
Wait, don't I get to keep my job
for being honest!
Ballard shakes her head.
CUT TO:
INT. BACKSTAGE - SAME
Will is standing by the door exit. He has changed out of
his costume and is in his street clothes. He is holding
a single ROSE, and seems to be saying something to
himself.
WILL
(to himself)
"Ellen, I like you!"
(beat)
"Damn it, Ellen! I'm crazy about
you."
TOM LAWRENCE approaches him.
TOM
Hey, Will there's a cast party in
the Band room.
WILL
No thanks, Tom. I'm waiting for
Ellen.
TOM
She already left.
WILL
What?! That's impossible, I'm been
waiting by the door for the last
twenty minutes.
TOM
There is a front door to this place.
WILL
Since when???
Will looks a bit worried now. He hands Tom the rose and
takes off.
FADE TO:
INT. CHRIS' HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER
Chris enters and seems to be looking for something.
CHRIS
Don't worry, I only stopped by to
grab my watch.
Chris looks up and notices his mother ELIZABETH HUGHES
and DR. PETER DORIAN sitting on the couch. His mother is
sobbing.
CHRIS
What's going on?
Dorian gives him a look.
DORIAN
Kate's dead, Chris.
For a second it almost seems like time has stopped.
Chris' legs start to tremble and he starts to breathe a
little more heavily.
FADE TO:
INT. BAR - MINUTES LATER
Parker and Ballard are sitting near the end of the bar,
nursing two beers.
BALLARD
So...what do we do now?
PARKER
I don't know, Diane. I honestly
don't know.
Parker takes a big gulp.
FADE TO:
INT. VANDELE HOME - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER
Brock, Casey, Reicther and Joel are sitting on the
couch, eating and drinking various snacks and drinks.
Brian is standing in front of them holding pictures of a
SONOGRAM.
BRIAN
Look what Stacy sent me.
REICTHER
That's one ugly baby. Is the
father Quasimodo or something?
Joel's phone rings.
JOEL
Hold on that's my mom's cell phone.
Joel gets up and walks to the kitchen
CUT TO:
INT. VANDELE HOME/KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Joel enters and answers the phone.
JOEL
(quietly)
Hi, hon. Look I know I said I could
talk to you later but...I don't
think I can get talk to you until
tomorrow. That okay?
CUT TO:
INT. CATHY'S ROOM - SAME
Cathy is sitting on her bed, crying.
CATHY
Yeah that's fine. Talk to you
tomorrow.
She hangs up. She tries her hardest to stop crying. She
grabs a paper that is by her leg and looks it over.
CATHY
You can't give me the time of day.
A quick glance shows us that's a hospital admitting
paper. She crumbles it up.
CATHY (CONT'D)
Then you don't get to know.
She throws it away.
FADE TO:
EXT. SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - SAME
The lot is more empty then before. Only a few cars
remain. Some of the cast members are getting in their
vehicles and leaving. Will bursts through the school
door and start to look around.
WILL
Ellen!
Will searches frantically for her.
WILL
Ellen!!!
He slows down a bit, realizing that she's already gone.
As he catches his breath, BELZER appears again.
BELZER
Welcome to the friend zone.
Will sighs. He just stands there frustrated, angry, and
confused. As he does this the CAMERA slowly begins to
LIFT UP. He continues to lift until we get a complete
sky view of the parking lot. Defeated, Will begins to
walk away.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE
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