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                          THE LUNCHROOM                                
                               
                         Episode Eighteen
                    "Rehearsals for Departure"

                                                  
                           Teleplay by
                  Bruce Snyder & Dominic Flanagan   
                                    
                            Story by
                          Bruce Snyder                                
                                                                                               
                               
                           Created by
                          Bruce Snyder                                
                                
                                                               
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Bruce Snyder
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Vincent Biga

                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Edward Drogos
                                
                          STORY EDITOR
                         Rebecca Parker

                                

                                 
                                 CAST LIST

		Will Cooper.................................
		Joel Mayberry...............................
		Brian Vandele...............................
		Brock Warner................................
		Reicther....................................
		Casey Jennings..............................
		Chris Hughes................................
		Ellen Conner................................
		Cathy Matthews..............................
		Mr. John Parker............................. 

 
                              GUEST CAST LIST


		Ms. Diane Ballard........................... 
		Brandon Brim................................
		Richard Belzer.............................. 
		Principal Bob Stevens....................... 
		Kirk........................................ 
		Joseph Said.................................
		Richard Belzer.............................. 
		Tom Lawrence................................
		Police Officer Kellerman.................... 
		Police Officer #1........................... 
		Police Officer #2...........................






     Copyright © Bruce Snyder 

     TEASER

     FADE IN:

     (BEGIN SONG: The Beach Boys' "You Still Believe In Me")

     EXT. STREET - NIGHT

     It's a very peaceful neighborhood. Nice, big houses 
     lined up on both sides of the street. It is very quiet 
     when suddenly we can hear an extra loud MOTOR can be 
     heard from far away.

     Out of nowhere, CASEY JENNINGS turns the corner riding 
     his scooter. BROCK WARNER is sitting in the back, 
     holding on to Casey's shoulders. Because of the weight 
     of the two, the scooter is only going about 10 to 15 
     miles per hour.

                                BROCK
                    Damn it, Casey! I thought you said 
                    you got this piece of junk fixed!

                                CASEY
                    I never said it was fixed "well", I 
                    just said I got it fixed.

                                BROCK
                    Between this and what you did to 
                    Joel's door, you might it give off 
                    the impression that you're an idiot!

                                CASEY
                    So what? Doors are very cheap this 
                    days.

                                BROCK
                    In what make believe land are doors 
                    cheap?

                                CASEY
                    Uh...
                           (can't think)
                    ...Shut up!

                                BROCK
                    We would have gotten there faster 
                    if we rode turtles!

                                CASEY
                    Hey, at least I have some kind of 
                    motor vehicle that we -

     Casey suddenly stops. Something is wrong.

                                BROCK
                    What? What's the problem?

                                CASEY
                    Brock...do farts have lumps in them?

                                BROCK
                             (confused)
                    ...No!

                                CASEY
                    Oops. Then I may have shit my pants.

                                BROCK
                    Jesus!

     Brock quickly jumps off. He lands on his feet. Casey 
     stops the scooter only a few feet away from him.

                                CASEY
                    Hey, I said "may have"!

     Brock shakes his head.

                                BROCK
                    Look, we need to find an alternate 
                    and faster way to get to theater. 
                    Unless you want our nice little 
                    group of friends to break up.

                                CASEY
                    Of course I don't want that.

     Casey looks around.

                                CASEY
                    Wait a minute! I know what we can do.

                                BROCK
                    What?

                                CASEY
                    An old buddy of mine, Billy Costigan, 
                    he lives around here. Maybe we can 
                    borrow his truck.

     Brock shrugs.

                                BROCK
                    It's worth a shot. Which way?

                                CASEY
                    Follow me.

     Casey heads off in one direction, Brock follows.

     (SONG FADES AWAY.)

								CUT TO:

     INT. HOUSE - MINUTES LATER

     It's a giant, posh house. The walls are white and oddly 
     enough there's not a lot of furniture around. The front 
     door is cracked open. Casey pops his head in.

                                CASEY
                    Hello?

                                FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
                    Oh hey! Come on in.

     Brock and Casey enter the house.

                                CASEY
                    Nice place.

     Suddenly a MAN enters from the other room, wearing a 
     suit.

                                MAN
                    Hello, gentlemen. Have a seat.

                                BROCK
                    Um...okay.

     Brock and Casey sit. Beat. The Man looks them over.

                                MAN
                    Why did you gentlemen come here 
                    tonight?

                                CASEY
                    To borrow my friend's truck.

                                MAN
                    No...you came here for sex with 
                    little boys.

                                BROCK
                    WHAT?!

                                MAN
                    Gentlemen, I have to confess 
                    something. My name is Chris Hansen 
                    and this is NBC Dateline's "To 
                    Catch a Predator."

     Brock understands what's going on.

                                BROCK
                    Oh.....Shit!

                                CASEY
                    Never seen it. Does it have anything 
                    to do with the Arnold Schwarzenegger 
                    movie, "Predator?"

                                CHRIS HANSEN
                    No, actually on our show we track 
                    down people who try to have sex 
                    with minors over the internet.

                                CASEY
                              (scoffs)
                    That's a horrible idea for a show.

                                CHRIS HANSEN
                    Let me guess...
                             (points at 
                               Casey)
                    You're BuffaloButt2415...
                             (points at 
                               Brock)
                    ...and you're LongDongSilver74.

     Brock pretends to hear something.

                                BROCK
                    What? You hear that Casey? That's 
                    common sense telling us to get the 
                    hell out of here!

     Brock grabs Casey and they run out of the house. Hansen 
     pulls out a walkie talkie.

                                CHRIS HANSEN
                           (into Walkie Talkie)
                    Crows nest, this is little squirrel. 
                    The acorns have been dug up, I 
                    repeat the acorns have been dug up, 
                    over.

                                VOICE (O.S.)
                    Roger little squirrel, project 
                    hibernation commencing.

								CUT TO:

     EXT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

     Brock and Casey run across the yard and head the down 
     the sidewalk. After a few seconds they disappear 
     completely. Nothing happens. Suddenly a POLICE OFFICER
     stands up from the bushes and looks around.

                                POLICE OFFICER
                    What the hell did he mean by 
                    "acorns have been dug up?"

                                POLICE OFFICER #2
                    How the hell should I know!

							SMASH CUT TO:
†
     OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:

     Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the 
     credits.

     AFTER CREDITS:

     FADE IN:

     EXT. STREET - NIGHT

     Establishing shot. Joel's RED JEEP is barreling down the 
     road.

									CUT TO:
     INT. JEEP - CONTINUOUS

     At the steering wheel is JOEL MAYBERRY, still dressed in 
     a suit and tie. Joel seems very alert and panicky. The 
     song "Don't Know Why" by Nora Jones is blaring from the 
     radio. 

     Suddenly Joel looks at the radio, almost as he realizes 
     what is playing.

                                JOEL
                    I'm not about to clear my 
                    conscience with Nora Jones playing. 
                    I need better music for this.

     He changes the station. "Not Yet a Woman" by Britney 
     Spears.

                                JOEL
                    ...I can do better.

     He changes the station. "London Bridge" by Fergie. Joel 
     groans.

                                JOEL
                    God, Helen Keller could do better.

     He changes the station. "Gimmie Shelter" by The Rolling 
     Stones.

                                JOEL
                    Hell yeah! I am now officially 
                    pumped to tell the truth!

     As the song blasts, we can hear a cellphone RING. Joel 
     looks around.    

                                JOEL
                    What the hell?

     Looks around. He reaches onto the floor and picks up a 
     phone. He opens it up and answers.

                                JOEL
                    This isn't Margie Mayberry so call 
                    back -

                                CATHY (O.S.)
                            (overlapping)
                    Joel, it's me Cathy.

                                JOEL
                    Oh hi, sweetie.

     Suddenly we hear a loud THUMP. Joel stops the car.

                                JOEL
                    Oh God, please don't be a 
                    pedestrian, please don't be a 
                    pedestrian.

     Joel slowly looks back.

                                JOEL
                    Yes! Just a stop sign!

     He shifts back into drive and heads on.

									CUT TO:

     INT. KITCHEN - SAME

     It's a small kitchen with a four person table in the 
     middle. The rim is dimly light with a few candles. CATHY 
     MATTHEWS is sitting at the table. He face is very red, 
     almost as if she has just stopped crying.

                                CATHY
                    What are you talking about?

     (We now intercut between them.)

                                JOEL
                    Oh, nothing. I certainly didn't 
                    think I hit a person.

     Beat.

                                CATHY
                    Joel...I was wondering if we could 
                    talk.

                                JOEL
                             (not paying
                              attention)
                    Quick, honey. Refresh my memory. 
                    Does yield mean stop?

                                CATHY
                    I think so.

                                JOEL
                            (to himself)
                    Oops. Too late now.

                                CATHY
                    C'mon, Joel. I want to talk to you.

     Joel seems conflicted.

                                JOEL
                    Actually, honey I'm a bit busy.

                                CATHY
                    Please. I REALLY need to talk to 
                    you.

     Beat. Joel seems annoyed and sighs.

                                JOEL
                    Okay, okay. I'll call you back in a 
                    bit, all right honey?

     Cathy seems displeased but gives in.

                                CATHY
                    Fine.

     Hangs up.

									CUT TO:

     EXT SCHOOL - SAME

     Establishing shot. The parking lot is just packed with 
     cars. We can see a sign near the door which says "My Far 
     Lady: Friday & Saturday at 7 pm."

									CUT TO:

     INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

     It's intermission. The place is packed with a variety of 
     people. There's some old people who seem full of joy, 
     while some of the younger ones look bored out of their 
     minds. There's a line of people at the concession stand. 
     Near the corner of the room we can see BRIAN VANDELE, 
     REICTHER, CHRIS HUGHES, and BRANDON BRIM standing around 
     talking.

     Chris is finishing a story.

                                CHRIS
                    So it's not my fault. I mean it's 
                    not that weird of a sexual fantasy. 
                    I mean, I bet everyone likes to be 
                    spanked by a G.I. Joe. Right?

     Brandon shoots him a look.

                                BRIAN
                    Dude, you've said that so many 
                    times it's lost all meaning.

     Brandon looks around.

                                BRANDON
                              (to BRIAN)
                    I'm just going to the bathroom.

                                BRIAN
                    Okay.

     Brandon walks away.

                                CHRIS
                            (whispering)
                    Reicther!

                  ††††††††††††††REICTHER
              ††††††Yeah?

                                CHRIS
                            (whispering)
                    Now would be a good time to go 
                    annoy Brim.

                                REICTHER
                    Okay, good idea.

     Reicther starts to make his way through the crowded 
     room.

                                REICTHER
                    Come on, people! Coming through! 
                    Make way for Reicther!

     Reicther finally makes it to the bathroom and enters.

									CUT TO:

     INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

     Brandon is at one of the urinals. Reicther walks in and 
     uses the one next to him.

                                REICTHER
                    Oh, my God! Hi Brandon!

                                BRANDON
                    Uh, hi.

                                REICTHER
                    Wow, who would have thought we 
                    would be peeing in the same 
                    bathroom! I mean, holy mother of 
                    God! Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to 
                    say holy mother of God! God, what 
                    was I thinking? Oh, sorry! I am 
                    such an idiot!

     Brandon rolls his eyes.

                                BRANDON
                    It's fine.

     Beat.

                                REICTHER
                    You really love God, don't you?

                                BRANDON
                    Yeah, I guess you could say that.

                                REICTHER
                    Well, I'm right! You do, you love 
                    God! You're obsessed with the big 
                    guy! You want to date him, and have 
                    sex with him, and suck his dick and 
                    everything!

     Brandon is shocked by this.

                                BRANDON
                    Uh...sorry. I don't.

                                REICTHER
                    Oh, please. Call me Reicther.

                                BRANDON
                    Why? It's your last name.

                                REICTHER
                    So?

                                BRANDON
                    Well, you don't call me Brim.

                                REICTHER
                    Oh, but I do.

     Reicther gets right up close to Brandon, and says into 
     his ear:

                                REICTHER
                    Brim. Brim. Brim, Brim, Brim. Brim, 
                    Brim, Brim, Brim, Bu-rim!!

     Brandon looks a little annoyed. Beat.

                                REICTHER
                    Brim.

     Beat.

                                REICTHER
                    So, who do you think would win in a 
                    fight? Jesus or Budda?

                                BRANDON
                              (offended)
                    What?

                                REICTHER
                    I'm just saying, I've seen Budda in 
                    pictures, he's a really fat guy. He 
                    could probably just sit on Jesus, 
                    and kill the skinny little bastard!

                                BRANDON
                    Please don't call my lord a bastard.

     Reicther gets right up to Brandon's ear again.

                                REICTHER
                              (whispering)
                    Bastard.

     Brandon zips up, turns around and leaves.

                                REICTHER
                    Hey, you didn't wash your hands! 
                    That's a sin!

                                BRANDON
                            (on his way 
                            out; annoyed)
                    Jesus Christ!

                                REICTHER
                    I heard that!

									CUT TO:

     INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - SECONDS LATER

     Chris and Brian are still in the corner, eating on small 
     snacks and talking. A frustrated Brandon walks by.

                                BRANDON
                               (angry)
                    I'm going back to my seat.

     Brian and Chris exchange looks.

                                CHRIS
                    What's wrong with him?

     Reicther walks up, smiling. Brian sees him and 
     immediately realizes what the problem is.

                                BRIAN
                           (sarcastically)
                    Oh I don't know.

     Brian enters the auditorium.

                                REICTHER
                    God, I hate this Brim guy. 

                                CHRIS
                    He seems like the kind of guy that 
                    would fuck my sister just to give 
                    her AIDS.

                                REICTHER
                               (confused)
                    You have a sister?

     Chris sighs and changes the subject. 

                                CHRIS
                    Good work so far, Reicther. But 
                    you've got to keep this up. You've 
                    got to be real annoying, and I mean 
                    Madonna annoying.

     Reicther looks at him.

                                REICTHER
                    Chris, my man from a foreign land... 
                    I'm going to be more annoying then 
                    the show "Lost."

     Reicther goes back into the auditorium.

                                CHRIS
                           (under breath)
                    That's a decent show you punk.

									CUT TO:

     INT. DIRECTOR'S BOOTH - AUDITORIUM - SAME

     MR. JOHN PARKER is sitting at the control booth, wearing 
     a headset. He's leaning back in his chair, enjoying the 
     break that comes with intermission.

                                PARKER
                    Okay, Nicole. Act II starts in just 
                    a few moments. Make sure everyone 
                    is about ready.

      He messes with the switchboard just as MS. DIANE 
      BALLARD walks in.

                                PARKER
                    Where the hell have you been? The 
                    show started about forty minutes 
                    ago.

      Ballard, who looks very depressed, walks over and sits 
      in the other chair next to Parker.

                                PARKER
                    By the way you were right about 
                    leaving your room when I did. When 
                    I was leaving I actually saw 
                    Stevens coming down the hall.
                              (laughs)
                    Could you imagine getting caught by 
                    him?

                                BALLARD
                    Oh, I have a vague idea what it 
                    would be like.

     Parker shots her a weird look.

                                PARKER
                              (confused)
                    What?

									CUT TO:

     INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - SAME

     Chris is now at the concession booth, talking to the 
     GIRL working it.

                                CHRIS
                    What are these things called again?

                                GIRL
                    I've told you before sir, they're 
                    called Eskimo Pies.

                                CHRIS
                    Whatever they are, they're fucking 
                    awesome. I'll take five more.

     The Girl rolls her eyes and starts searching for Eskimo 
     Pies. As Chris anxiously awaits, Joel comes running in 
     from the outside. He does a quick look over of the room 
     before noticing Chris.

                                JOEL
                    Chris! Thank God I've found you.

     Joel runs over.

                                CHRIS
                    Joel, have you ever had a Eskimo pie? 
                    They're the fucking shiznit!

                                JOEL
                    Look, I don't have time for your 
                    Jewish mumble jumble I just need to 
                    find Brian!

                                CHRIS
                    He's inside the auditorium with -

     Without hesitation, Joel takes off.

                                CHRIS
                    Wa-Wait for me!

     The girl sits down a group ESKIMO PIES which Chris quickly 
     grabs and chases after Joel with.

                                CHRIS
                    I said wait you ignorant American!

     Chris enters the theatre section of the auditorium.

									CUT TO:

     INT. AUDITORIUM - THEATRE - CONTINUOUS

     Chris enters and looks around for the others. He passes 
     by the Director's Booth which we stop and focus on. We 
     can see that Ballard is finishing telling Parker about 
     what happened. As she tells the story it becomes obvious 
     that Parker is feeling guilty.

     The lights flicker. A warning that the show is going to 
     start soon. Parker starts to run his hand through his 
     hair, distraught.

									CUT TO:

     INT. BACKSTAGE - HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER

     There are several cast members and crew members hustling 
     and bustling around. WILL COOPER and ELLEN CONNER are 
     walking down the hall and talking. Will, finished with 
     his scene, is slowly trying take his fake beard off.

                                ELLEN
                    Anyway, I was sitting in my room working on 
                    an essay when I saw a commercial on 
                    TV for a special edition of Iron 
                    Chef America. It was guest-starring 
                    this slutty Italian cook that I 
                    hate and this other chick named Rachel Ray, 
                    whose cooking show my mom watches 
                    religiously and who I've grown to 
                    think is pretty cool. So I turned 
                    on the show, and I actually became 
                    little-girl excited about watching 
                    Rachel Ray trounce the slutty 
                    Italian bitch. THEN my mom knocked 
                    on my door and told me that there 
                    was a charity event called 
                    Operation Christmas Child going on 
                    at her work, and that I should wrap 
                    a present for a needy kid in Africa. 
                    I knew about this event a week ago, 
                    and I agreed to go. But this was 
                    Rachel Ray! So you know what I did? 
                    I lied to my mother by telling her 
                    I had just thrown up in the 
                    bathroom and it was impossible for 
                    me to go.

     Just as she finishes, Will rips the fake beard off and 
     screams in pain. EVERYONE around him shushes him.

                                WILL
                    So you're basically telling me that 
                    Rachel Ray is more important then 
                    impoverished children?

                                ELLEN
                    Not just Rachel Ray...Iron Chef 
                    America!

                                WILL
                    Even Hitler would be amazed at how 
                    evil you are. Stalin is rolling in 
                    his grave, muttering "that bitch is 
                    out of her mind."

                                ELLEN
                    I can't help it. Rachel Ray was my 
                    inspiration for making risotto for 
                    the first time, and I was so proud 
                    of myself after that that she won a 
                    permanent place in my culinary 
                    heart.

                                WILL
                    Culinary heart? Didn't that one fat 
                    comedian have that?

                                ELLEN
                    Chris Farley? John Belushi?

                                WILL
                    Doesn't matter, they're all the 
                    same. I swear, God must have some 
                    rule that no funny man that weighs 
                    more then a whale can live past age 
                    thirty three.

     The backstage lights flicker on and off. It's time for 
     the curtain to go up.

                                ELLEN
                    Well, I'm do on stage.

     Beat. She seems to be waiting for Will to do something, 
     although Will doesn't get it.

                                ELLEN
                    I guess I'll be going now.
                               (beat)
                    I won't be off for at least forty 
                    minutes.

     Will tries to say something but becomes so nervous that 
     nothing comes out.

                                VOICE (O.S.)
                    Thirty seconds till curtain, Ellen.

                                ELLEN
                    See ya' after the show.

                                WILL
                             (nervous)
                    Ah, uh...S-See ya'.

     Ellen leaves the hall. Will takes a few breaths. He 
     stumbles over to the corner and has a "I can't believe I 
     blew it" look on his face.

     Suddenly, almost out of nowhere, RICHARD BELZER (a 
     figment of Will's imagination) appears. He gives a 
     small golf clap.               

                                BELZER
                    My friend, you were amazing.

                                WILL
                    Amazing? I stumbled on my only line!

                                BELZER
                    Well...at least you were better 
                    than that girl that keep falling 
                    down during that dance number.

                                WILL
                    That's because she has a wooden leg.

                                BELZER
                    It did look unusually brown.

     Will looks around. Everyone has gone to the stage.

                                WILL
                    Have you come to check out the show?

                                BELZER
                    Actually I've come to check out 
                    that little redhead, Ellen.
                             (wolf whistle)
                    Smart, sexy. Everything you could 
                    want.

                                WILL
                    Is that a subtle hint at something?

                                BELZER
                    Was I being too blunt?

     Will shakes his head.

                                BELZER
                    What's wrong with you, Professor 
                    Karpathy?

                                WILL
                    I've got to get help.

                                BELZER
                    Excuse me?

                                WILL
                    I've got to see some kind of shrink 
                    or doctor because I'm going crazy.

                                BELZER
                    What makes you think that?

                                WILL
                    Because I'm getting love advice 
                    from a fucking figment of my 
                    imagination!

                                BELZER
                    Oh that doesn't make you crazy.

                                WILL
                    Says the hallucination! And a 
                    contradicting one to boot.

                                BELZER
                    How am I contradicting?

                                WILL
                    When I first tried out for this, 
                    you warned me to say away from her. 
                    That she was going to do something 
                    bad. Now you're trying to push me 
                    towards her?

     Beat.

                                BELZER
                    I said that?

                                WILL
                    Yes! You did!

                                BELZER
                    Hey, I'm a hallucination. I'm 
                    suppose to fuck with you're mind.

     Will groans in frustration.

                                WILL
                    I'm going nuts!

                                BELZER
                            (following him)
                    Hey, sometimes it's to your 
                    advantage for people to think 
                    you're crazy.

     They leave the hall. 

									CUT TO:                             

     EXT. ROAD - MINUTES LATER

     A beat up old, yellow van is moving down the road at a 
     fairly slow rate. Tons of black smoke is coming from the 
     tailpipe.

     INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS

     In the driver's seat is KIRK and in the passenger's side 
     is JOSEPH SAID. We can see Brock and Casey are sitting 
     in the back. Brock looks angry at this arrangement.

     Joseph takes a hit off a joint.

                                JOSEPH
                              (to Kirk)
                    You want some man?

                                KIRK
                    Are you kidding? I'm driving, man. 
                    I've gotta be safe.

     He reaches off camera and grabs a bottle of beer.

                                KIRK
                    I can't have anything effecting my 
                    mind.

     Kirk takes a big drink.

                                KIRK
                    Sometimes, I feel that Samuel Adams
                    is the only one who truly 
                    understands me.

     Brock groans.

                                BROCK
                         (quietly; to Casey)
                    I can't believe you talked me into 
                    this.

                                CASEY
                              (quietly)
                    We needed to get there, and these 
                    guys were offering us a ride.

                                BROCK
                              (quietly)
                    We're in a crappy old van being 
                    driven by a pot head! All we need 
                    is a talking dog and we've got 
                    ourselves an episode of 
                    "Scooby-Doo."

     Kirk has a revelation. 

                                KIRK
                    Is it just me, or is it possible that 
                    Shaggy and Scoob were stoners?

                                JOSEPH
                    You know that would explain some 
                    things. They were always hungry.

     Brock lets out a loud sigh.

                                BROCK
                    Jesus, I can't believe this.

                                CASEY
                              (quietly)
                    Stop complaining. We'll be there in 
                    no time.

     Suddenly a POLICE SIREN is heard. Red and Blue lights 
     start to flash. Both Casey and Brock sigh.

                                JOSEPH
                    Like Zoinks, Kirk. It's the police!

     Kirk comes to a complete stop.

                                KIRK 
                    Don't worry, I know how act calm, 
                    cool, and collect in front of an 
                    officer.

     After a few seconds, OFFICER KELLERMAN approaches. Kirk 
     rolls down his window.

                                KELLERMAN
                    Son, do you know how fast you were 
                    going?

     Pause. Kirk is beginning to shake.

                                CASEY
                    Kirk, are you okay?

     Beat.

                                KIRK
                    I DON'T KNOW YOU!!!

     Kirk reaches for the beer bottles and SMASHES into 
     Kellerman's face.

                                BROCK
                    Jesus Christ!!!

     Kellerman falls to ground.

                                KIRK
                    Everyman for himself!

     Kirk and Joseph quickly get out of the van. Casey and 
     Brock are speechless.

                                BROCK
                    How are we going to get out of this?

                                CASEY
                    I think we can sneak away. Looks 
                    like the officers are busy with 
                    those two.

     Casey points out the window. Brock looks too.

     BROCK'S POV:
     Kirk and Joseph are running in a big circle with 
     Kellerman following them.

                                BROCK
                    You're right. Let's get out of here.

     Casey and Brock get out of the Van.

     EXT. VAN - CONTINUOUS

     Brock and Casey slowly sneak away, while Kellerman 
     continues to run circles with Kirk and Joseph.

                                KIRK
                    Keep running, Joseph! Eventually 
                    he'll need to pick out the glass 
                    from his face!

     This continues for a few more seconds.

									CUT TO:

     INT. AUDITORIUM - AUDIENCE - SAME

     Brian, Joel, Brandon, Reicther, and Chris are all 
     sitting in the very back row. Joel keeps looking over at 
     Brian, trying to get the courage to tell him. Reicther 
     is whispering something to Brandon, who is about ready 
     to kill Reicther. Chris sits on the end, stuffing Eskimo 
     pies into his face like there's no tomorrow.

     Ellen is on stage with a few others, performing a song 
     called "Show Me." Reicther finishes a joke.

                                REICTHER
                    So God turns to Bill Gates and says 
                    "that WAS the screen saver."

     People shush him.

                                REICTHER
                    Oh go shush yourselves.

     He quiets down. Joel leans in to Brian.

                                JOEL
                            (whispering)
                    Tell me something Brian.

                                BRIAN
                            (whispering)
                    Yes.

                                JOEL
                            (whispering)
                    Have you ever felt you had to 
                    redeem yourself?

                                BRIAN
                            (whispering)
                    Redeem myself?

                                JOEL
                            (whispering)
                    For something that weighted down 
                    yourself and so you had to do 
                    something to put it at peace and 
                    make it go away.

                                BRIAN
                            (whispering)
                    I guess I have.

                                JOEL
                            (whispering)
                    Brian, I've been dating Cat -

                                CHRIS
                            (overlapping)
                    Oh God! Did you see that! I think 
                    that guy seriously hurt himself.

     Joel and Brian look toward the stage. We can hear other 
     audience members laugh off camera. After a few seconds 
     of chuckling, Brian turns back to Joel.

                                BRIAN
                            (whispering)
                    What were you saying?

                                JOEL
                            (whispering)
                    Nothing.

     Beat.

                                REICTHER
                              (to BRANDON)
                    She's hot! Don't you think she's 
                    hot?

                                BRANDON
                           (greatly annoyed)
                    She's okay.

                                REICTHER
                    Okay? Are you gay or something?

                                BRANDON
                             (through bared 
                                 teeth)
                    No.

                                REICTHER
                    Castrated? I know that some 
                    religions make you do that.

                                BRANDON
                    No, I'm not. Can we just watch the 
                    play?

     Reicther and Brandon continue to watch.

                                REICTHER
                    Sorry, I missed loads. Who's that 
                    guy?

                                BRANDON
                    I don't know.

                                REICTHER
                    Sorry.
                               (beat)
                    What did that guy just say?

                                BRANDON
                               (annoyed)
                    No idea.

                                REICTHER
                    What did that guy say when I said 
                    "Who's that guy?"

     Brandon glares evilly at Reicther. He then takes a can 
     of Pepsi from his pocket.

                                BRANDON
                             (to REICTHER)
                    You want some cola?

                                REICTHER
                    Yeah, sure.

     Brandon (deliberately) spills some cola into Reicther's 
     lap.

                                BRANDON
                    Oh, sorry. My hand slipped.

                                REICTHER
                    No problem at all.

     Reicther opens his potato chips and throws a handful of 
     them into Brandonís face.

                                BRANDON
                    Agh! What the fuck!

                                REICTHER
                    Shh! The play's in progress!

     Brandon slurps his cola, glaring at Reicther. The CAMERA 
     then PANS LEFT until we are focused on the Director's 
     Booth.

									CUT TO:

     INT. DIRECTOR'S BOOTH - CONTINUOUS

     Parker is slumped down in his seat, while Ballard is 
     intently watching the show.

                                BALLARD
                    No offense, John but Anne Frank was 
                    in better spirits then you are 
                    right now.          

                                PARKER
                    Look, Diane. I'm sorry.

                                BALLARD
                    About what?

                                PARKER
                    You know what.

                                BALLARD
                    It's okay. We shouldn't both have 
                    to suffer because of it.

     Beat.

                                PARKER
                    What if I told him it was me?

                                BALLARD
                    You're serious?

                                PARKER
                              (pointing)
                    This...is my serious face.

     Beat.

                                PARKER
                    Look, maybe you'll get off on a 
                    lighter sentence.

                                BALLARD
                    Maybe you're the dumbest person 
                    I've ever known.

                                PARKER
                    I'm just trying to own up to what I 
                    did.

                                BALLARD
                    I think the time for owning up has 
                    passed. 

     Parker sighs.

                                BALLARD
                    Just deal with it, John. I 
                    lost my job, you didn't. You 
                    shouldn't be feeling guilty.

                                PARKER
                    Unfortunately, guilt's all I've got 
                    to work with. 

     Diane turns to him and looks him directly in the eye.

                                BALLARD
                    John...if you even care about me in 
                    the smallest form, you'll remain 
                    silent.

     Parker reluctantly agrees by nodding his head.

     FADE TO BLACK.

     TITLE CARD:

                           "One Hour Later"

									CUT TO:

     EXT. SCHOOL - NIGHT

     Establishing shot. There are still dozens of cars packed 
     into the parking lot. Suddenly out of nowhere Brock and 
     Casey appear. Casey seems like he's going to collapse.

                                CASEY
                          (short of breath)
                    That's the most I've ever walked.

                                BROCK
                    We only walked five blocks!

                                CASEY
                             (defensive)
                    It seemed like ten!
                               (beat)
                    Shit, we're not too late are we?

     Brock pulls out his pocket watch.

                                BROCK
                    Apparently my watch is broke.

                                CASEY
                    Since when?

                                BROCK
                    According to this, March 25th 2004.
                                (beat)
                    I thought it was weird that it was 
                    always three in the morning.

                                CASEY
                    Forget it, let's just go in.

     They enter the school.

									CUT TO:

     INT. AUDITORIUM - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

     The show has just ended. Mobs of people are leaving the 
     theatre, all abuzz about the show. Little groups start 
     to form as young and old talk about the show. Casey and 
     Brock enter and look around.

                                BROCK
                    I think we're too late.

                                BRIAN (O.S.)
                    Over here, guys!

     Casey and Brock walk over to Brian, Reicther, Chris, and 
     Joel. Brock and Casey seem a little concern, unsure if 
     Joel has accomplished what he set out for.

                                BRIAN
                    God you guys missed a boring piece 
                    of shit.

                                CHRIS
                    Hey, it wasn't that bad.

                                BRIAN
                    It was three hours too long!

                                CHRIS
                    You just don't appreciate musical 
                    theatre.

     As they two argue, Brock and Casey give Joel a look. 
     After a second, Joel shakes his head signaling that he 
     didn't go through with it. Brock and Casey sigh in 
     relief.

     Just then, Brandon Brim walks by.

                                BRIAN
                    Hey, Brandon.

                                BRANDON
                               (angry)
                    Stay away from me!

     Brian is taken back.

                                BRIAN
                    What's wrong with you?

                                BRANDON
                    My problem is YOU PEOPLE!!! Do you 
                    have any idea how much you annoy me? 
                    I've always been taught to love and 
                    not to hate. But you are proving to 
                    be an exception to the rule!

                                BRIAN
                    I thought we were friends.

                                BRANDON
                    You're okay. It's these..."others" 
                    that are the problem.

     Brandon walks up to Casey.

                                BRANDON
                               (to Casey)
                    You are one of the stupidest people 
                    I've ever met.

     Casey licks his lips.

                                CASEY
                    Anyone else taste purple?

     Brandon walks up to Brock.

                                BRANDON
                    You're too quiet! For God's sake 
                    speak up! Sometimes I forget you're 
                    even there.

     Brock is about to say something but gives up.

                                BROCK
                    I got nothing.

     Brandon walks up to Joel.

                                BRANDON
                    You...
                              (beat)
                    Actually I don't think we've met.

                                JOEL
                    I'm Joel Mayberry.

                                BRANDON
                    Joel...you hang out with assholes. 
                    So you're an asshole by association.

     Brandon walks up to Reicther.

                                BRANDON
                    You...words can't even begin to 
                    describe the anger and hate that 
                    flows through my veins when you are 
                    around me.

                                REICTHER
                    Ha ha. You guys got yelled at. He 
                    didn't even say anything bad about 
                    me.

     Brandon, frustrated, screams and then leaves.

                                BRIAN
                    Even with our lord and savior on 
                    his side, he sill hates us.

     Pause.

                                BRIAN
                    Who wants to go to my house?

     Everyone nods and say some words of agreement. They 
     begin to leave.

									CUT TO:

     (BEGIN SONG: Pearl Jam's "Immortality.")

     INT. AUDITORIUM - THEATRE - SAME

     Parker and Ballard have just finished talking to some 
     students. After they leave, Ballard gives Parker a look.

                                BALLARD
                    Well, it was nice knowing you John.

     Parker still looks guilty. Just then PRINCIPAL BOB 
     STEVENS is leaving.

                                PARKER
                    Bob, wait!

     Stevens turns to him.

                                PARKER
                    Why don't you take your lips off 
                    the board members asses for a 
                    second.
                                (beat)
                    Look Diane wasn't having sex with a 
                    student. She was having sex with me. 
                    And before you start yelling at me 
                    or wonder how probable this all is 
                    I want you to know that Iím not 
                    afraid. I shouldn't fear some 
                    little ignorant brown noser like 
                    yourself.

     Stevens is staring him right in the eyes. Ballard is stunned.

                                PARKER
                    What do you say to that, Bob?

     Beat.

                                STEVENS
                    Okay, you're fired tool Pack your 
                    stuff and be gone by Monday morning.

     Stevens walks away.

                                PARKER
                            (calling out)
                    Wait, don't I get to keep my job 
                    for being honest!

     Ballard shakes her head.

									CUT TO: 

     INT. BACKSTAGE - SAME

     Will is standing by the door exit. He has changed out of 
     his costume and is in his street clothes. He is holding 
     a single ROSE, and seems to be saying something to 
     himself.

                                WILL
                            (to himself)
                    "Ellen, I like you!"
                                (beat)
                    "Damn it, Ellen! I'm crazy about 
                    you."

     TOM LAWRENCE approaches him.

                                TOM
                    Hey, Will there's a cast party in 
                    the Band room.

                                WILL
                    No thanks, Tom. I'm waiting for 
                    Ellen.

                                TOM
                    She already left.

                                WILL
                    What?! That's impossible, I'm been 
                    waiting by the door for the last 
                    twenty minutes.

                                TOM
                    There is a front door to this place.

                                WILL
                    Since when???

     Will looks a bit worried now. He hands Tom the rose and 
     takes off.

									FADE TO:

     INT. CHRIS' HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER

     Chris enters and seems to be looking for something.

                                CHRIS
                    Don't worry, I only stopped by to 
                    grab my watch.

     Chris looks up and notices his mother ELIZABETH HUGHES 
     and DR. PETER DORIAN sitting on the couch. His mother is 
     sobbing.

                                CHRIS
                    What's going on?

     Dorian gives him a look.

                                DORIAN
                    Kate's dead, Chris.

     For a second it almost seems like time has stopped. 
     Chris' legs start to tremble and he starts to breathe a 
     little more heavily.

									FADE TO:

     INT. BAR - MINUTES LATER

     Parker and Ballard are sitting near the end of the bar, 
     nursing two beers.

                                BALLARD
                    So...what do we do now?

                                PARKER
                    I don't know, Diane. I honestly 
                    don't know.

     Parker takes a big gulp.

									FADE TO:

     INT. VANDELE HOME - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER

     Brock, Casey, Reicther and Joel are sitting on the 
     couch, eating and drinking various snacks and drinks. 
     Brian is standing in front of them holding pictures of a 
     SONOGRAM.

                                BRIAN
                    Look what Stacy sent me.

                                REICTHER
                    That's one ugly baby. Is the 
                    father Quasimodo or something?

     Joel's phone rings.

                                JOEL
                    Hold on that's my mom's cell phone.

     Joel gets up and walks to the kitchen

									CUT TO:

     INT. VANDELE HOME/KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

     Joel enters and answers the phone.

                                JOEL
                             (quietly)
                    Hi, hon. Look I know I said I could 
                    talk to you later but...I don't 
                    think I can get talk to you until 
                    tomorrow. That okay?

									CUT TO:

     INT. CATHY'S ROOM - SAME

     Cathy is sitting on her bed, crying.

                                CATHY
                    Yeah that's fine. Talk to you 
                    tomorrow.

     She hangs up. She tries her hardest to stop crying. She 
     grabs a paper that is by her leg and looks it over.

                                CATHY
                    You can't give me the time of day.

     A quick glance shows us that's a hospital admitting 
     paper. She crumbles it up.

                                CATHY (CONT'D)
                    Then you don't get to know.

     She throws it away.

									FADE TO:

     EXT. SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - SAME

     The lot is more empty then before. Only a few cars 
     remain. Some of the cast members are getting in their 
     vehicles and leaving. Will bursts through the school 
     door and start to look around.

                                WILL
                    Ellen!

     Will searches frantically for her.

                                WILL
                    Ellen!!!

     He slows down a bit, realizing that she's already gone. 
     As he catches his breath, BELZER appears again.

                                BELZER
                    Welcome to the friend zone.

     Will sighs. He just stands there frustrated, angry, and 
     confused. As he does this the CAMERA slowly begins to 
     LIFT UP. He continues to lift until we get a complete 
     sky view of the parking lot. Defeated, Will begins to 
     walk away.

                                                        FADE OUT.
                           
                            END OF EPISODE



                             

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