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THE LUNCHROOM Episode Eighteen "Rehearsals for Departure" Teleplay by Bruce Snyder & Dominic Flanagan Story by Bruce Snyder Created by Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Bruce Snyder EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Vincent Biga EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Edward Drogos STORY EDITOR Rebecca Parker CAST LIST Will Cooper................................. Joel Mayberry............................... Brian Vandele............................... Brock Warner................................ Reicther.................................... Casey Jennings.............................. Chris Hughes................................ Ellen Conner................................ Cathy Matthews.............................. Mr. John Parker............................. GUEST CAST LIST Ms. Diane Ballard........................... Brandon Brim................................ Richard Belzer.............................. Principal Bob Stevens....................... Kirk........................................ Joseph Said................................. Richard Belzer.............................. Tom Lawrence................................ Police Officer Kellerman.................... Police Officer #1........................... Police Officer #2........................... Copyright © Bruce Snyder TEASER FADE IN: (BEGIN SONG: The Beach Boys' "You Still Believe In Me") EXT. STREET - NIGHT It's a very peaceful neighborhood. Nice, big houses lined up on both sides of the street. It is very quiet when suddenly we can hear an extra loud MOTOR can be heard from far away. Out of nowhere, CASEY JENNINGS turns the corner riding his scooter. BROCK WARNER is sitting in the back, holding on to Casey's shoulders. Because of the weight of the two, the scooter is only going about 10 to 15 miles per hour. BROCK Damn it, Casey! I thought you said you got this piece of junk fixed! CASEY I never said it was fixed "well", I just said I got it fixed. BROCK Between this and what you did to Joel's door, you might it give off the impression that you're an idiot! CASEY So what? Doors are very cheap this days. BROCK In what make believe land are doors cheap? CASEY Uh... (can't think) ...Shut up! BROCK We would have gotten there faster if we rode turtles! CASEY Hey, at least I have some kind of motor vehicle that we - Casey suddenly stops. Something is wrong. BROCK What? What's the problem? CASEY Brock...do farts have lumps in them? BROCK (confused) ...No! CASEY Oops. Then I may have shit my pants. BROCK Jesus! Brock quickly jumps off. He lands on his feet. Casey stops the scooter only a few feet away from him. CASEY Hey, I said "may have"! Brock shakes his head. BROCK Look, we need to find an alternate and faster way to get to theater. Unless you want our nice little group of friends to break up. CASEY Of course I don't want that. Casey looks around. CASEY Wait a minute! I know what we can do. BROCK What? CASEY An old buddy of mine, Billy Costigan, he lives around here. Maybe we can borrow his truck. Brock shrugs. BROCK It's worth a shot. Which way? CASEY Follow me. Casey heads off in one direction, Brock follows. (SONG FADES AWAY.) CUT TO: INT. HOUSE - MINUTES LATER It's a giant, posh house. The walls are white and oddly enough there's not a lot of furniture around. The front door is cracked open. Casey pops his head in. CASEY Hello? FEMALE VOICE (O.S.) Oh hey! Come on in. Brock and Casey enter the house. CASEY Nice place. Suddenly a MAN enters from the other room, wearing a suit. MAN Hello, gentlemen. Have a seat. BROCK Um...okay. Brock and Casey sit. Beat. The Man looks them over. MAN Why did you gentlemen come here tonight? CASEY To borrow my friend's truck. MAN No...you came here for sex with little boys. BROCK WHAT?! MAN Gentlemen, I have to confess something. My name is Chris Hansen and this is NBC Dateline's "To Catch a Predator." Brock understands what's going on. BROCK Oh.....Shit! CASEY Never seen it. Does it have anything to do with the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, "Predator?" CHRIS HANSEN No, actually on our show we track down people who try to have sex with minors over the internet. CASEY (scoffs) That's a horrible idea for a show. CHRIS HANSEN Let me guess... (points at Casey) You're BuffaloButt2415... (points at Brock) ...and you're LongDongSilver74. Brock pretends to hear something. BROCK What? You hear that Casey? That's common sense telling us to get the hell out of here! Brock grabs Casey and they run out of the house. Hansen pulls out a walkie talkie. CHRIS HANSEN (into Walkie Talkie) Crows nest, this is little squirrel. The acorns have been dug up, I repeat the acorns have been dug up, over. VOICE (O.S.) Roger little squirrel, project hibernation commencing. CUT TO: EXT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Brock and Casey run across the yard and head the down the sidewalk. After a few seconds they disappear completely. Nothing happens. Suddenly a POLICE OFFICER stands up from the bushes and looks around. POLICE OFFICER What the hell did he mean by "acorns have been dug up?" POLICE OFFICER #2 How the hell should I know! SMASH CUT TO: † OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE: Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the credits. AFTER CREDITS: FADE IN: EXT. STREET - NIGHT Establishing shot. Joel's RED JEEP is barreling down the road. CUT TO: INT. JEEP - CONTINUOUS At the steering wheel is JOEL MAYBERRY, still dressed in a suit and tie. Joel seems very alert and panicky. The song "Don't Know Why" by Nora Jones is blaring from the radio. Suddenly Joel looks at the radio, almost as he realizes what is playing. JOEL I'm not about to clear my conscience with Nora Jones playing. I need better music for this. He changes the station. "Not Yet a Woman" by Britney Spears. JOEL ...I can do better. He changes the station. "London Bridge" by Fergie. Joel groans. JOEL God, Helen Keller could do better. He changes the station. "Gimmie Shelter" by The Rolling Stones. JOEL Hell yeah! I am now officially pumped to tell the truth! As the song blasts, we can hear a cellphone RING. Joel looks around. JOEL What the hell? Looks around. He reaches onto the floor and picks up a phone. He opens it up and answers. JOEL This isn't Margie Mayberry so call back - CATHY (O.S.) (overlapping) Joel, it's me Cathy. JOEL Oh hi, sweetie. Suddenly we hear a loud THUMP. Joel stops the car. JOEL Oh God, please don't be a pedestrian, please don't be a pedestrian. Joel slowly looks back. JOEL Yes! Just a stop sign! He shifts back into drive and heads on. CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN - SAME It's a small kitchen with a four person table in the middle. The rim is dimly light with a few candles. CATHY MATTHEWS is sitting at the table. He face is very red, almost as if she has just stopped crying. CATHY What are you talking about? (We now intercut between them.) JOEL Oh, nothing. I certainly didn't think I hit a person. Beat. CATHY Joel...I was wondering if we could talk. JOEL (not paying attention) Quick, honey. Refresh my memory. Does yield mean stop? CATHY I think so. JOEL (to himself) Oops. Too late now. CATHY C'mon, Joel. I want to talk to you. Joel seems conflicted. JOEL Actually, honey I'm a bit busy. CATHY Please. I REALLY need to talk to you. Beat. Joel seems annoyed and sighs. JOEL Okay, okay. I'll call you back in a bit, all right honey? Cathy seems displeased but gives in. CATHY Fine. Hangs up. CUT TO: EXT SCHOOL - SAME Establishing shot. The parking lot is just packed with cars. We can see a sign near the door which says "My Far Lady: Friday & Saturday at 7 pm." CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - CONTINUOUS It's intermission. The place is packed with a variety of people. There's some old people who seem full of joy, while some of the younger ones look bored out of their minds. There's a line of people at the concession stand. Near the corner of the room we can see BRIAN VANDELE, REICTHER, CHRIS HUGHES, and BRANDON BRIM standing around talking. Chris is finishing a story. CHRIS So it's not my fault. I mean it's not that weird of a sexual fantasy. I mean, I bet everyone likes to be spanked by a G.I. Joe. Right? Brandon shoots him a look. BRIAN Dude, you've said that so many times it's lost all meaning. Brandon looks around. BRANDON (to BRIAN) I'm just going to the bathroom. BRIAN Okay. Brandon walks away. CHRIS (whispering) Reicther! ††††††††††††††REICTHER ††††††Yeah? CHRIS (whispering) Now would be a good time to go annoy Brim. REICTHER Okay, good idea. Reicther starts to make his way through the crowded room. REICTHER Come on, people! Coming through! Make way for Reicther! Reicther finally makes it to the bathroom and enters. CUT TO: INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS Brandon is at one of the urinals. Reicther walks in and uses the one next to him. REICTHER Oh, my God! Hi Brandon! BRANDON Uh, hi. REICTHER Wow, who would have thought we would be peeing in the same bathroom! I mean, holy mother of God! Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to say holy mother of God! God, what was I thinking? Oh, sorry! I am such an idiot! Brandon rolls his eyes. BRANDON It's fine. Beat. REICTHER You really love God, don't you? BRANDON Yeah, I guess you could say that. REICTHER Well, I'm right! You do, you love God! You're obsessed with the big guy! You want to date him, and have sex with him, and suck his dick and everything! Brandon is shocked by this. BRANDON Uh...sorry. I don't. REICTHER Oh, please. Call me Reicther. BRANDON Why? It's your last name. REICTHER So? BRANDON Well, you don't call me Brim. REICTHER Oh, but I do. Reicther gets right up close to Brandon, and says into his ear: REICTHER Brim. Brim. Brim, Brim, Brim. Brim, Brim, Brim, Brim, Bu-rim!! Brandon looks a little annoyed. Beat. REICTHER Brim. Beat. REICTHER So, who do you think would win in a fight? Jesus or Budda? BRANDON (offended) What? REICTHER I'm just saying, I've seen Budda in pictures, he's a really fat guy. He could probably just sit on Jesus, and kill the skinny little bastard! BRANDON Please don't call my lord a bastard. Reicther gets right up to Brandon's ear again. REICTHER (whispering) Bastard. Brandon zips up, turns around and leaves. REICTHER Hey, you didn't wash your hands! That's a sin! BRANDON (on his way out; annoyed) Jesus Christ! REICTHER I heard that! CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - SECONDS LATER Chris and Brian are still in the corner, eating on small snacks and talking. A frustrated Brandon walks by. BRANDON (angry) I'm going back to my seat. Brian and Chris exchange looks. CHRIS What's wrong with him? Reicther walks up, smiling. Brian sees him and immediately realizes what the problem is. BRIAN (sarcastically) Oh I don't know. Brian enters the auditorium. REICTHER God, I hate this Brim guy. CHRIS He seems like the kind of guy that would fuck my sister just to give her AIDS. REICTHER (confused) You have a sister? Chris sighs and changes the subject. CHRIS Good work so far, Reicther. But you've got to keep this up. You've got to be real annoying, and I mean Madonna annoying. Reicther looks at him. REICTHER Chris, my man from a foreign land... I'm going to be more annoying then the show "Lost." Reicther goes back into the auditorium. CHRIS (under breath) That's a decent show you punk. CUT TO: INT. DIRECTOR'S BOOTH - AUDITORIUM - SAME MR. JOHN PARKER is sitting at the control booth, wearing a headset. He's leaning back in his chair, enjoying the break that comes with intermission. PARKER Okay, Nicole. Act II starts in just a few moments. Make sure everyone is about ready. He messes with the switchboard just as MS. DIANE BALLARD walks in. PARKER Where the hell have you been? The show started about forty minutes ago. Ballard, who looks very depressed, walks over and sits in the other chair next to Parker. PARKER By the way you were right about leaving your room when I did. When I was leaving I actually saw Stevens coming down the hall. (laughs) Could you imagine getting caught by him? BALLARD Oh, I have a vague idea what it would be like. Parker shots her a weird look. PARKER (confused) What? CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - SAME Chris is now at the concession booth, talking to the GIRL working it. CHRIS What are these things called again? GIRL I've told you before sir, they're called Eskimo Pies. CHRIS Whatever they are, they're fucking awesome. I'll take five more. The Girl rolls her eyes and starts searching for Eskimo Pies. As Chris anxiously awaits, Joel comes running in from the outside. He does a quick look over of the room before noticing Chris. JOEL Chris! Thank God I've found you. Joel runs over. CHRIS Joel, have you ever had a Eskimo pie? They're the fucking shiznit! JOEL Look, I don't have time for your Jewish mumble jumble I just need to find Brian! CHRIS He's inside the auditorium with - Without hesitation, Joel takes off. CHRIS Wa-Wait for me! The girl sits down a group ESKIMO PIES which Chris quickly grabs and chases after Joel with. CHRIS I said wait you ignorant American! Chris enters the theatre section of the auditorium. CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - THEATRE - CONTINUOUS Chris enters and looks around for the others. He passes by the Director's Booth which we stop and focus on. We can see that Ballard is finishing telling Parker about what happened. As she tells the story it becomes obvious that Parker is feeling guilty. The lights flicker. A warning that the show is going to start soon. Parker starts to run his hand through his hair, distraught. CUT TO: INT. BACKSTAGE - HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER There are several cast members and crew members hustling and bustling around. WILL COOPER and ELLEN CONNER are walking down the hall and talking. Will, finished with his scene, is slowly trying take his fake beard off. ELLEN Anyway, I was sitting in my room working on an essay when I saw a commercial on TV for a special edition of Iron Chef America. It was guest-starring this slutty Italian cook that I hate and this other chick named Rachel Ray, whose cooking show my mom watches religiously and who I've grown to think is pretty cool. So I turned on the show, and I actually became little-girl excited about watching Rachel Ray trounce the slutty Italian bitch. THEN my mom knocked on my door and told me that there was a charity event called Operation Christmas Child going on at her work, and that I should wrap a present for a needy kid in Africa. I knew about this event a week ago, and I agreed to go. But this was Rachel Ray! So you know what I did? I lied to my mother by telling her I had just thrown up in the bathroom and it was impossible for me to go. Just as she finishes, Will rips the fake beard off and screams in pain. EVERYONE around him shushes him. WILL So you're basically telling me that Rachel Ray is more important then impoverished children? ELLEN Not just Rachel Ray...Iron Chef America! WILL Even Hitler would be amazed at how evil you are. Stalin is rolling in his grave, muttering "that bitch is out of her mind." ELLEN I can't help it. Rachel Ray was my inspiration for making risotto for the first time, and I was so proud of myself after that that she won a permanent place in my culinary heart. WILL Culinary heart? Didn't that one fat comedian have that? ELLEN Chris Farley? John Belushi? WILL Doesn't matter, they're all the same. I swear, God must have some rule that no funny man that weighs more then a whale can live past age thirty three. The backstage lights flicker on and off. It's time for the curtain to go up. ELLEN Well, I'm do on stage. Beat. She seems to be waiting for Will to do something, although Will doesn't get it. ELLEN I guess I'll be going now. (beat) I won't be off for at least forty minutes. Will tries to say something but becomes so nervous that nothing comes out. VOICE (O.S.) Thirty seconds till curtain, Ellen. ELLEN See ya' after the show. WILL (nervous) Ah, uh...S-See ya'. Ellen leaves the hall. Will takes a few breaths. He stumbles over to the corner and has a "I can't believe I blew it" look on his face. Suddenly, almost out of nowhere, RICHARD BELZER (a figment of Will's imagination) appears. He gives a small golf clap. BELZER My friend, you were amazing. WILL Amazing? I stumbled on my only line! BELZER Well...at least you were better than that girl that keep falling down during that dance number. WILL That's because she has a wooden leg. BELZER It did look unusually brown. Will looks around. Everyone has gone to the stage. WILL Have you come to check out the show? BELZER Actually I've come to check out that little redhead, Ellen. (wolf whistle) Smart, sexy. Everything you could want. WILL Is that a subtle hint at something? BELZER Was I being too blunt? Will shakes his head. BELZER What's wrong with you, Professor Karpathy? WILL I've got to get help. BELZER Excuse me? WILL I've got to see some kind of shrink or doctor because I'm going crazy. BELZER What makes you think that? WILL Because I'm getting love advice from a fucking figment of my imagination! BELZER Oh that doesn't make you crazy. WILL Says the hallucination! And a contradicting one to boot. BELZER How am I contradicting? WILL When I first tried out for this, you warned me to say away from her. That she was going to do something bad. Now you're trying to push me towards her? Beat. BELZER I said that? WILL Yes! You did! BELZER Hey, I'm a hallucination. I'm suppose to fuck with you're mind. Will groans in frustration. WILL I'm going nuts! BELZER (following him) Hey, sometimes it's to your advantage for people to think you're crazy. They leave the hall. CUT TO: EXT. ROAD - MINUTES LATER A beat up old, yellow van is moving down the road at a fairly slow rate. Tons of black smoke is coming from the tailpipe. INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS In the driver's seat is KIRK and in the passenger's side is JOSEPH SAID. We can see Brock and Casey are sitting in the back. Brock looks angry at this arrangement. Joseph takes a hit off a joint. JOSEPH (to Kirk) You want some man? KIRK Are you kidding? I'm driving, man. I've gotta be safe. He reaches off camera and grabs a bottle of beer. KIRK I can't have anything effecting my mind. Kirk takes a big drink. KIRK Sometimes, I feel that Samuel Adams is the only one who truly understands me. Brock groans. BROCK (quietly; to Casey) I can't believe you talked me into this. CASEY (quietly) We needed to get there, and these guys were offering us a ride. BROCK (quietly) We're in a crappy old van being driven by a pot head! All we need is a talking dog and we've got ourselves an episode of "Scooby-Doo." Kirk has a revelation. KIRK Is it just me, or is it possible that Shaggy and Scoob were stoners? JOSEPH You know that would explain some things. They were always hungry. Brock lets out a loud sigh. BROCK Jesus, I can't believe this. CASEY (quietly) Stop complaining. We'll be there in no time. Suddenly a POLICE SIREN is heard. Red and Blue lights start to flash. Both Casey and Brock sigh. JOSEPH Like Zoinks, Kirk. It's the police! Kirk comes to a complete stop. KIRK Don't worry, I know how act calm, cool, and collect in front of an officer. After a few seconds, OFFICER KELLERMAN approaches. Kirk rolls down his window. KELLERMAN Son, do you know how fast you were going? Pause. Kirk is beginning to shake. CASEY Kirk, are you okay? Beat. KIRK I DON'T KNOW YOU!!! Kirk reaches for the beer bottles and SMASHES into Kellerman's face. BROCK Jesus Christ!!! Kellerman falls to ground. KIRK Everyman for himself! Kirk and Joseph quickly get out of the van. Casey and Brock are speechless. BROCK How are we going to get out of this? CASEY I think we can sneak away. Looks like the officers are busy with those two. Casey points out the window. Brock looks too. BROCK'S POV: Kirk and Joseph are running in a big circle with Kellerman following them. BROCK You're right. Let's get out of here. Casey and Brock get out of the Van. EXT. VAN - CONTINUOUS Brock and Casey slowly sneak away, while Kellerman continues to run circles with Kirk and Joseph. KIRK Keep running, Joseph! Eventually he'll need to pick out the glass from his face! This continues for a few more seconds. CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - AUDIENCE - SAME Brian, Joel, Brandon, Reicther, and Chris are all sitting in the very back row. Joel keeps looking over at Brian, trying to get the courage to tell him. Reicther is whispering something to Brandon, who is about ready to kill Reicther. Chris sits on the end, stuffing Eskimo pies into his face like there's no tomorrow. Ellen is on stage with a few others, performing a song called "Show Me." Reicther finishes a joke. REICTHER So God turns to Bill Gates and says "that WAS the screen saver." People shush him. REICTHER Oh go shush yourselves. He quiets down. Joel leans in to Brian. JOEL (whispering) Tell me something Brian. BRIAN (whispering) Yes. JOEL (whispering) Have you ever felt you had to redeem yourself? BRIAN (whispering) Redeem myself? JOEL (whispering) For something that weighted down yourself and so you had to do something to put it at peace and make it go away. BRIAN (whispering) I guess I have. JOEL (whispering) Brian, I've been dating Cat - CHRIS (overlapping) Oh God! Did you see that! I think that guy seriously hurt himself. Joel and Brian look toward the stage. We can hear other audience members laugh off camera. After a few seconds of chuckling, Brian turns back to Joel. BRIAN (whispering) What were you saying? JOEL (whispering) Nothing. Beat. REICTHER (to BRANDON) She's hot! Don't you think she's hot? BRANDON (greatly annoyed) She's okay. REICTHER Okay? Are you gay or something? BRANDON (through bared teeth) No. REICTHER Castrated? I know that some religions make you do that. BRANDON No, I'm not. Can we just watch the play? Reicther and Brandon continue to watch. REICTHER Sorry, I missed loads. Who's that guy? BRANDON I don't know. REICTHER Sorry. (beat) What did that guy just say? BRANDON (annoyed) No idea. REICTHER What did that guy say when I said "Who's that guy?" Brandon glares evilly at Reicther. He then takes a can of Pepsi from his pocket. BRANDON (to REICTHER) You want some cola? REICTHER Yeah, sure. Brandon (deliberately) spills some cola into Reicther's lap. BRANDON Oh, sorry. My hand slipped. REICTHER No problem at all. Reicther opens his potato chips and throws a handful of them into Brandonís face. BRANDON Agh! What the fuck! REICTHER Shh! The play's in progress! Brandon slurps his cola, glaring at Reicther. The CAMERA then PANS LEFT until we are focused on the Director's Booth. CUT TO: INT. DIRECTOR'S BOOTH - CONTINUOUS Parker is slumped down in his seat, while Ballard is intently watching the show. BALLARD No offense, John but Anne Frank was in better spirits then you are right now. PARKER Look, Diane. I'm sorry. BALLARD About what? PARKER You know what. BALLARD It's okay. We shouldn't both have to suffer because of it. Beat. PARKER What if I told him it was me? BALLARD You're serious? PARKER (pointing) This...is my serious face. Beat. PARKER Look, maybe you'll get off on a lighter sentence. BALLARD Maybe you're the dumbest person I've ever known. PARKER I'm just trying to own up to what I did. BALLARD I think the time for owning up has passed. Parker sighs. BALLARD Just deal with it, John. I lost my job, you didn't. You shouldn't be feeling guilty. PARKER Unfortunately, guilt's all I've got to work with. Diane turns to him and looks him directly in the eye. BALLARD John...if you even care about me in the smallest form, you'll remain silent. Parker reluctantly agrees by nodding his head. FADE TO BLACK. TITLE CARD: "One Hour Later" CUT TO: EXT. SCHOOL - NIGHT Establishing shot. There are still dozens of cars packed into the parking lot. Suddenly out of nowhere Brock and Casey appear. Casey seems like he's going to collapse. CASEY (short of breath) That's the most I've ever walked. BROCK We only walked five blocks! CASEY (defensive) It seemed like ten! (beat) Shit, we're not too late are we? Brock pulls out his pocket watch. BROCK Apparently my watch is broke. CASEY Since when? BROCK According to this, March 25th 2004. (beat) I thought it was weird that it was always three in the morning. CASEY Forget it, let's just go in. They enter the school. CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS The show has just ended. Mobs of people are leaving the theatre, all abuzz about the show. Little groups start to form as young and old talk about the show. Casey and Brock enter and look around. BROCK I think we're too late. BRIAN (O.S.) Over here, guys! Casey and Brock walk over to Brian, Reicther, Chris, and Joel. Brock and Casey seem a little concern, unsure if Joel has accomplished what he set out for. BRIAN God you guys missed a boring piece of shit. CHRIS Hey, it wasn't that bad. BRIAN It was three hours too long! CHRIS You just don't appreciate musical theatre. As they two argue, Brock and Casey give Joel a look. After a second, Joel shakes his head signaling that he didn't go through with it. Brock and Casey sigh in relief. Just then, Brandon Brim walks by. BRIAN Hey, Brandon. BRANDON (angry) Stay away from me! Brian is taken back. BRIAN What's wrong with you? BRANDON My problem is YOU PEOPLE!!! Do you have any idea how much you annoy me? I've always been taught to love and not to hate. But you are proving to be an exception to the rule! BRIAN I thought we were friends. BRANDON You're okay. It's these..."others" that are the problem. Brandon walks up to Casey. BRANDON (to Casey) You are one of the stupidest people I've ever met. Casey licks his lips. CASEY Anyone else taste purple? Brandon walks up to Brock. BRANDON You're too quiet! For God's sake speak up! Sometimes I forget you're even there. Brock is about to say something but gives up. BROCK I got nothing. Brandon walks up to Joel. BRANDON You... (beat) Actually I don't think we've met. JOEL I'm Joel Mayberry. BRANDON Joel...you hang out with assholes. So you're an asshole by association. Brandon walks up to Reicther. BRANDON You...words can't even begin to describe the anger and hate that flows through my veins when you are around me. REICTHER Ha ha. You guys got yelled at. He didn't even say anything bad about me. Brandon, frustrated, screams and then leaves. BRIAN Even with our lord and savior on his side, he sill hates us. Pause. BRIAN Who wants to go to my house? Everyone nods and say some words of agreement. They begin to leave. CUT TO: (BEGIN SONG: Pearl Jam's "Immortality.") INT. AUDITORIUM - THEATRE - SAME Parker and Ballard have just finished talking to some students. After they leave, Ballard gives Parker a look. BALLARD Well, it was nice knowing you John. Parker still looks guilty. Just then PRINCIPAL BOB STEVENS is leaving. PARKER Bob, wait! Stevens turns to him. PARKER Why don't you take your lips off the board members asses for a second. (beat) Look Diane wasn't having sex with a student. She was having sex with me. And before you start yelling at me or wonder how probable this all is I want you to know that Iím not afraid. I shouldn't fear some little ignorant brown noser like yourself. Stevens is staring him right in the eyes. Ballard is stunned. PARKER What do you say to that, Bob? Beat. STEVENS Okay, you're fired tool Pack your stuff and be gone by Monday morning. Stevens walks away. PARKER (calling out) Wait, don't I get to keep my job for being honest! Ballard shakes her head. CUT TO: INT. BACKSTAGE - SAME Will is standing by the door exit. He has changed out of his costume and is in his street clothes. He is holding a single ROSE, and seems to be saying something to himself. WILL (to himself) "Ellen, I like you!" (beat) "Damn it, Ellen! I'm crazy about you." TOM LAWRENCE approaches him. TOM Hey, Will there's a cast party in the Band room. WILL No thanks, Tom. I'm waiting for Ellen. TOM She already left. WILL What?! That's impossible, I'm been waiting by the door for the last twenty minutes. TOM There is a front door to this place. WILL Since when??? Will looks a bit worried now. He hands Tom the rose and takes off. FADE TO: INT. CHRIS' HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER Chris enters and seems to be looking for something. CHRIS Don't worry, I only stopped by to grab my watch. Chris looks up and notices his mother ELIZABETH HUGHES and DR. PETER DORIAN sitting on the couch. His mother is sobbing. CHRIS What's going on? Dorian gives him a look. DORIAN Kate's dead, Chris. For a second it almost seems like time has stopped. Chris' legs start to tremble and he starts to breathe a little more heavily. FADE TO: INT. BAR - MINUTES LATER Parker and Ballard are sitting near the end of the bar, nursing two beers. BALLARD So...what do we do now? PARKER I don't know, Diane. I honestly don't know. Parker takes a big gulp. FADE TO: INT. VANDELE HOME - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER Brock, Casey, Reicther and Joel are sitting on the couch, eating and drinking various snacks and drinks. Brian is standing in front of them holding pictures of a SONOGRAM. BRIAN Look what Stacy sent me. REICTHER That's one ugly baby. Is the father Quasimodo or something? Joel's phone rings. JOEL Hold on that's my mom's cell phone. Joel gets up and walks to the kitchen CUT TO: INT. VANDELE HOME/KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Joel enters and answers the phone. JOEL (quietly) Hi, hon. Look I know I said I could talk to you later but...I don't think I can get talk to you until tomorrow. That okay? CUT TO: INT. CATHY'S ROOM - SAME Cathy is sitting on her bed, crying. CATHY Yeah that's fine. Talk to you tomorrow. She hangs up. She tries her hardest to stop crying. She grabs a paper that is by her leg and looks it over. CATHY You can't give me the time of day. A quick glance shows us that's a hospital admitting paper. She crumbles it up. CATHY (CONT'D) Then you don't get to know. She throws it away. FADE TO: EXT. SCHOOL - PARKING LOT - SAME The lot is more empty then before. Only a few cars remain. Some of the cast members are getting in their vehicles and leaving. Will bursts through the school door and start to look around. WILL Ellen! Will searches frantically for her. WILL Ellen!!! He slows down a bit, realizing that she's already gone. As he catches his breath, BELZER appears again. BELZER Welcome to the friend zone. Will sighs. He just stands there frustrated, angry, and confused. As he does this the CAMERA slowly begins to LIFT UP. He continues to lift until we get a complete sky view of the parking lot. Defeated, Will begins to walk away. FADE OUT. END OF EPISODE
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