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                          THE LUNCHROOM                                
                               
                         Episode Sixteen
                     "A Change is Gonna Come"

                                                  
                           Written by
                   Bruce Snyder & Rebecca Parker
                                                                                      
                               
                           Created by
                          Bruce Snyder                                
                                
                                                               
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Bruce Snyder
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Vincent Biga

                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Edward Drogos
                                
                          STORY EDITOR
                         Rebecca Parker

                                

                                 
                                 CAST LIST

		Will Cooper.................................
		Joel Mayberry...............................
		Brian Vandele...............................
		Brock Warner................................
		Reicther....................................
		Casey Jennings..............................
		Chris Hughes................................
		Ellen Conner................................
		Cathy Matthews..............................
		Mr. John Parker............................. 

 
                              GUEST CAST LIST


		Minister Mark Johnson....................... 
		Kate Davidson...............................
		Debbie Vandele.............................. 
		Colleen Davidson............................
 		Kay Johnson................................. 
		Emily.......................................
		John Jennings...............................
 		Janice Jennings............................. 
		Katie Jennings..............................
		Dr. Peter Dorian............................ 
                                







     Copyright © Bruce Snyder 

     TEASER

     FADE IN:

     INT. VANDELE HOME - BRIAN'S ROOM - DAY

     BRIAN VANDELE stands glumly in front of the mirror in 
     his room wearing a white long-sleeve shirt. Nirvana's 
     "All Apologies" plays in the background. Brian opens the 
     drawer of his dresser and finds it empty. The camera 
     pans around the room, which is littered with seemingly 
     identical black short-sleeve shirts. Brian picks one up, 
     sniffs it, and puts it on. A large sad face is on the 
     front of it, and the words "I'm sad" are written beneath 
     that. Brian takes a long look at himself and then seems 
     to decide something. He leaves the room.

									CUT TO:

     INT. VANDELE HOME - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

     DEBBIE VANDELE is watching Dr. Phil when Brian enters.

                                BRIAN
                    Hey, mom, I need to talk to you for 
                    a minute.

     Debbie continues staring intently at the television.

                                BRIAN
                    Mom, I'm serious. I really need 
                    someone to talk to.

     Debbie turns up the volume on Dr. Phil, she doesnít seem 
     to fully realize that heís talking to her. Brian sighs 
     and sits down next to her on the couch. He looks 
     spitefully at Dr. Phil. The show goes to commercial.

                                BRIAN
                    Why do you watch this crap?

                                DEBBIE
                    It makes me a better mother. Dr. 
                    Phil teaches me how to deal with 
                    the issues that you face as a 
                    teenager and better prepare you for 
                    the road ahead.

                                BRIAN
                    Yeah, speaking of which, Iíve been 
                    really depressed lately and I just 
                    wanted to ó

                                DEBBIE
                    Shhh. Hush up, honey. The showís 
                    back on. 

                                BRIAN
                    You've got to be fucking kidding me.

							SMASH CUT TO:
†
     OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:

     Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the 
     credits.

     AFTER CREDITS:

     FADE IN:

     INT. VANDELE HOME - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER

     Debbie and Brian are still watching TV.				

                                BRIAN
                    It's a commercial again. Look mom, 
                    I feel kind of weird bringing this 
                    up, but lately Iíve been really sad 
                    and I -

                                DEBBIE
                    Oh shit! Itís time for me to get to 
                    work. We can finish this later, 
                    right? I have to go in early this 
                    morning because Barb called in sick
                    ...so I have to open the shop. You 
                    know how it is. Would you mind 
                    taping the rest of Dr. Phil for me? 
                    I hate to miss it.

                                BRIAN
                    Yeah, sure mom. No problem. 

     Debbie leaves the room.

                                BRIAN
                    I fucking hate you Dr. Phil.

     Brian rises and starts to walk away from the TV.

                                DR. PHIL (O.S.)
                            (coming from TV)
                    Do you have trouble controlling 
                    your anger?

                                BRIAN
                    Only towards you, chicken fucker.

                                DR. PHIL (O.S.)
                            (coming from TV)
                    Do you find it hard to celebrate 
                    the good things in life?

     Brian approaches the TV and talks directly at Dr. Phil, 
     seemingly "getting in his face."

                                BRIAN
                    What good things? Ever since you 
                    and George Bush started running the 
                    planet I have found very little to 
                    celebrate. Texans should never be 
                    trusted with power, money, or guns. 
                    Didnít Americans learn anything 
                    from "Dallas?"

                                DR. PHIL (O.S.)
                            (coming from TV)
                    Are your relationships with family, 
                    friends, and romantic partners 
                    deteriorating?

                                BRIAN
                    What romantic partners?

     Brian seems somewhat interested in what these questions 
     are leading up to, and sits back down.

                                DR. PHIL (O.S.)
                            (coming from TV)
                    Do you find that you are generally 
                    dissatisfied with the condition of 
                    your life?

                                BRIAN
                    Yes 

                                DR. PHIL (O.S.)
                            (coming from TV)
                    Have you contemplated suicide?

                                BRIAN
                    I can do you one better. 

                                DR. PHIL (O.S.)
                            (coming from TV)
                    These symptoms are all signs of ó

                                BRIAN
                    Depression, I know. Wow, you sure 
                    can work wonders, Dr. Phil. I had 
                    no idea that I was depre ó

                                DR. PHIL (O.S.)
                            (coming from TV)
                    -- being a complete and total loser.

                                BRIAN
                    What the fuck?

									CUT TO:

     EXT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - MINUTES LATER

     Establishing shot.

     INT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

     COLLEEN DAVIDSON, Kate's mother, has just entered the 
     room carrying two suitcases. She takes them and places 
     them at the doorway. CHRIS HUGHES standing against a 
     post, looking very upset at what's going on.

     Just then, DR. PETER DORIAN enters from the kitchen.

                                DORIAN
                    I called them and they say her room 
                    is all ready. 
                                (beat)
                    Looks like everything's ready.

                                COLLEEN
                    Should I go get her?

                                DORIAN
                    That's all right, Ms. Davidson. I 
                    can do it. But when I bring her 
                    down I want you and Chris to be as 
                    comforting as possible.

                                COLLEEN
                    All right.

     Dorian goes up the stairs.

                                COLLEEN
                    Are you okay, Chris?

                                CHRIS
                    I'm just having second thoughts. Do 
                    we really have to ship her off to a 
                    damn loony bin?

                                COLLEEN
                    C'mon now, Chris. We talked about 
                    this.

                                CHRIS
                    I don't like this one bit.

                                COLLEEN
                    Neither do I, Chris. But Dr. Dorian 
                    says it's for the best. And he 
                    seems to be so comforting and nice 
                    to her.

     We can hear a door open from upstairs, followed by a 
     punching sound.

                                DORIAN (O.S.)
                    You bitch!

     All of a sudden, Dorian comes rolling down the stairs 
     before making a hard landing at the bottom. Chris and 
     Colleen run over. Dorian holds his couch and starts 
     groaning in pain.

                                COLLEEN
                    Dr. Dorian what happened?!

                                DORIAN
                    That little bitch kicked me the 
                    balls and pushed me down the 
                    stairs!

     Colleen gasps.

                                COLLEEN
                    Don't call my daughter a bitch!

                                DORIAN
                    But she kicked me in the balls!

     Chris jumps over Dorian and runs up the stairs.

                                CHRIS
                              (yelling)
                    KATE!

									CUT TO:

     INT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - KATE'S ROOM - SECONDS LATER

     Chris bursts through the door and quickly looks around. 
     The room has a TV, bed, and a few posters but besides 
     it's fairly empty. Chris sees nothing. He's about to 
     leave when he notices that the window is wide open.

     He goes over and looks out.

     CHRIS' POV:
     Looking out the window he sees KATE DAVIDSON running 
     down the sidewalk away from the house.

     Chris is upset.

									CUT TO:

     INT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MINUTES LATER

     Dorian is now resting on the couch with a LARGE bag of 
     ice resting on his crotch. Colleen is pacing around. 
     Chris comes down the stairs and enters the room.

                                CHRIS
                    She must have climbed out the 
                    window.

                                COLLEEN
                    Oh my God! My baby!

                                DORIAN
                    Don't worry, Ms. Davidson. Kate is 
                    just a bit upset right now.

                                CHRIS
                    That's because you tried to fucking 
                    ambush her, doc.

                                DORIAN
                    Please. Let's not get into playing 
                    the blame game here.

                                CHRIS
                    This coming from the man with an 
                    icepack on his balls. Tell me, doc. 
                    How'd you get that again?

     Dorian gives Chris a stern look.

                                DORIAN
                    We'll start a search for her. 
                    Usually patients come home within 
                    a few hours. Trust me, 
                    Kate will be fine.

     Chris shakes his head.

									CUT TO:

     INT. LUNCHROOM - SAME

     Brian, WILL COOPER, JOEL MAYBERRY, CASEY JENNINGS, BROCK 
     WARNER, and REICTHER are all sitting around a table. 
     Chris is missing.

                                BRIAN
                    Can he really call mentally 
                    unstable people losers on national 
                    television? Sure Iím not close to 
                    my family. Sure I donít share any 
                    real personal emotions or issues 
                    with my friends. Sure Iíve never 
                    had so much as a date with someone 
                    of the opposite sex. Sure I spent 
                    half of my morning talking to a 
                    bald man on the television. That 
                    doesn't make me a loser.

     Brian looks around at the other members of the group, 
     who all avoid eye contact.

                                BRIAN
                    Okay, maybe it does.

     Reicther looks at Brock and Will.

                                REICTHER
                    Look how sad Brian is now, you know 
                    that you could have prevented this 
                    if you had let him kill himself.

                                JOEL
                    One insensitive comment at a time, 
                    Reicther.

                                REICTHER
                    What? Heís like a lame horse. The 
                    only kind thing to do is shoot Mr. 
                    Ed in the head and be done with it.

                                BRIAN
                    Hey! Do not call me Mr. Ed. I can 
                    talk without having my jowls lined 
                    with peanut butter, thank you very 
                    much.

                                REICTHER
                    Really? Iíve yet to see it.

                                WILL
                    Shut the fuck up, Reicther. Donít 
                    compare Brian to Mr. Ed.

                                BRIAN
                    Thank you, Will.

                                REICTHER
                    Good point. Mr. Ed was much more 
                    pleasant.

                                BRIAN
                    I hate you.

                                CASEY
                    Did you know that for the first 
                    season of that show Mr. Ed was 
                    portrayed by a female zebra?

                                BROCK
                    He couldnít have been, you would 
                    have seen the stripes.

                                WILL
                    Actually, that's not true. Stripes 
                    don't really translate onto black 
                    and white film. It has to do with 
                    the -

                                BRIAN
                    Could we PLEASE stop talking about 
                    Mr. Ed? I have a real problem here. 
                    I'm a loser.

                                WILL
                    So what? We're all losers. It's not 
                    like it's that pressing of an issue.

                                BRIAN
                    For me it is. Iím going to turn my 
                    life around. 
                          (cue dramatic music)
                    Youíll see...Iím going to make 
                    something of myself. I'll climb 
                    every mountain. I'll ford every 
                    stream. I'll follow every rainbow, 
                    until I find my ó

                                BROCK
                    So tell me more about this stripes 
                    thing.

                                WILL
                    Well, itís all about the -

     As Will continues explaining Brian looks annoyed but 
     determined.

									CUT TO:

     EXT. JOHNSON HOME - AFTER SCHOOL

     Casey is standing at the door, knocking. No one seems to 
     be answering. He proceeds to knock again.

                                CASEY
                    Kay!

     Still no answer. Casey looks around and gets an idea. He 
     walks over do driveway and grabs a rock. He goes into 
     the yard and tosses it toward Kay's room.

									CUT TO:

     INT. MARK'S STUDY - SAME

     Minister MARK JOHNSON kneels in the middle of a very 
     small room. He is looking up at a cross, talking to it 
     directly.

                                MARK
                    Lord, I feel as though I have wronged 
                    you in some way. I feel as though 
                    you do not like the fact that I 
                    forbid my daughter from seeing 
                    that horrible, horrible boy. If 
                    I've done you wrong, please show me 
                    a sign.

     Mark lowers his head. SMASH! The rock comes through the 
     window and nails Mark in the head.

                                MARK
                    Ow!
                            (looks up 
                            at cross)
                    A little extreme there, don't you 
                    think Jesus?

                                CASEY (O.S.)
                    Oops. My bad!

     Mark hears Casey and sighs.

									CUT TO:

     EXT. JOHNSON HOME - SECONDS LATER 

     Mark comes out the front door to see Casey near a house 
     window, trying to look in.

                                MARK
                    Son, I thought I told you to stay 
                    away from my family. Especially my 
                    daughter!

                                CASEY
                    I know youíre a man a God, sir but 
                    blow it out your ass. I came to see 
                    Kay.

     Casey looks back to the window.

                                CASEY
                    Kay!

                                MARK
                    She's not here. She's at a friend's 
                    house.

                                CASEY
                    Well then. I guess I'll just have 
                    to sit in this spot until she comes 
                    home.

     Casey sits down in the middle of the yard. Beat.

                                MARK
                    Son, why don't we have a little talk?

                                CASEY
                    I'm good right here, sir.

                                MARK
                    Okay. Let me put it this way. How 
                    about you follow me, or Iíll 
                    toss a pork chop on you and sic the 
                    dog on you.

     Casey quickly stands.

                                CASEY
                    I'm listening sir.

     Mark looks around.

                                MARK
                    Why don't we talk somewhere, a 
                    little more private.

									CUT TO:

     INT. CHURCH - MINUTES LATER

     Casey and Mark stand at the front of a gigantic church. 
     The walls are covered in art of religious figures. The 
     windows are stain glass. There are giant pillars 
     supporting the roof.

                                MARK
                    I hope you don't mind us talking 
                    here.            

     Casey looks over and sees a giant statue of Jesus being 
     crucified.

                                CASEY
                    Uh, no. It's very...
                                (beat)
                    ...pleasant.

                                MARK
                    Son, I admire what you've been 
                    trying to do. Not a lot of young 
                    men would have persisted as much as 
                    you have. But you've got to get it 
                    through your head...I don't want 
                    you dating my daughter. 

                                CASEY
                    I understand, sir. But...I can't 
                    stay away...
                                (beat)
                    I love her.

                                MARK
                    C'mon, son. Don't you think you're 
                    a little young to know what love is?
 
                                CASEY
                    There are three things in this 
                    world I love; my family, pizza hot 
                    pockets, and video games. And to be 
                    honest I care for Kay just as much 
                    or even more than those things.

     Pause.

                                CASEY
                    Actually tied because I don't know 
                    if you've ever had a hot pocket 
                    before sir, but they are -

                                MARK
                            (overlapping)
                    Enough! I know what will change 
                    your heathen atheist mind.

     Mark reaches in his pocket and pulls out a bible.

                                CASEY
                    Oh shit. You're going to convert me?

                                MARK
                    Ooops. Wrong pocket.

     He reaches in and pulls out a check book.

                                MARK
                    I'll convert you...with the almighty
			     dollar.

                                CASEY
                    You're going to bribe me to stay 
                    away from Kay?

                                MARK
                    I hate the word "bribe." I'd prefer 
                    "pay off" or maybe even "extortion."

     Mark writes a number down and hands the check to Casey. 
     He seems amazed.

                                CASEY
                    Oh my God. 500 dollars?

                                MARK
                    I'd consider that generous, 
                    wouldn't you?

                                CASEY
                    I can't keep this.

                                MARK
                    You sure? Because my daughter 
                    informed me that you recently 
                    purchased a scooter. 500 dollars 
                    could buy a lot of gas and 
                    accessories. And what about your 
                    family? I mean, I know that you 
                    guys aren't doing well. This could 
                    help in some small way. Pay a few of
                    those bi1ls off.

     Mark folds the check up and places it in Casey's hand.

                                MARK
                    Here. Don't tear it up. Just think 
                    long and hard about this. I'm sure 
                    you can find something to do with 
                    500 dollars.

     Casey seems to be confused by all of this.

									CUT TO:
     INT. LUNCHROOM - NEXT DAY

     The Gang (minus Chris) are all sitting around, eating 
     and chatting. 

                                REICTHER
                    How come Chris gets to miss school?

                                BROCK
                    Well, I'll make you a deal. You get 
                    a crazy girlfriend that runs away 
                    and you can miss all the school you 
                    want.

     Brian approaches carrying a large book.

                                WILL
                    What's that?

     Brian flips the book around to show everyone. There is a 
     large picture of Dr. Phil on the cover.

                                BRIAN
                    "The Ultimate Loser Solution: How to 
                    Stop Being a Waste of Air in 30 
                    Days or Less."

                                WILL
                    You're actually going to read that?

                                BRIAN
                    Hell no. I'm going to carry it 
                    around and pretend to read it so 
                    that girls think I'm sensitive and 
                    wounded. Getting a girlfriend is 
                    the first step in my plan to becoming 
                    cooler than Mr. Ed.

                                REICTHER
                    I don't know, Mr. Ed is pretty cool.

                                WILL
                    You donít actually think that 
                    that's going to work, do you? 
                    That's so cheesy.

                                JOEL
                    If you carry that book around 
                    school, you will be made fun of, 
                    badly, and you wonít get any action 
                    to make the torment of that 
                    worthwhile.

                                CASEY
                    Please donít carry that around. If 
                    you do, I guarantee that before the 
                    day is out some big bully will kick 
                    sand in your face.

                                BRIAN
                    We live in the Midwest. There's no 
                    sand around here to kick.

                                CASEY
                    I donít care. A bully will custom 
                    order sand from Florida, have it 
                    rush-delivered to our school, take 
                    it out of its cardboard box, dump 
                    it on the floor at your feet, and 
                    then kick it in your face just for 
                    carrying around that stupid book, I 
                    swear to God.

                                BRIAN
                    Screw you guys. Youíre just afraid 
                    that itís going to work and then 
                    youíll be the only ones left in the 
                    group without dates.

                                CASEY
                    I have a girlfriend.

                                BROCK
                    I do, too.

                                CASEY
                    Really?

                                BROCK
                    Yeah. My girlfriend's name is 
                    Candy491, she lives at yahoo.com. 
                    She's really beautiful. Itís 
                    getting rather serious. I think Iím 
                    in love.

                                CASEY
                    ...right.

                                REICTHER
                    I donít need a girlfriend, I have 
                    Petunia, here.

     Reicther lovingly strokes his left hand, whispering 
     sweetly to it.

                                REICTHER
                    I love you Petunia. You love me 
                    too? Oh I know you do.

                                CASEY
                    Gross, Reicther.

									CUT TO:

     INT. JOEL'S CAR - AFTER SCHOOL

     Joel is driving CATHY MATTHEWS home. The song "Raspberry 
     Beret" by Prince is playing and Joel is singing along. 
     Cathy is deeply involved in doing a crossword puzzle.

                                CATHY
                    I never thought I would ever date a 
                    straight man who loves Prince.

                                JOEL
                    Prince is the fucking greatest! 
                    Didn't you see "Purple Rain?"

     Cathy thinks.

                                CATHY
                    Oh yeah! That's the Steven Spielberg 
                    movie with Whoopie Goldberg as the 
                    slave right?

     Joel giggles and shakes his head.

                                CATHY
                    What?

                                JOEL
                    Nothing.

     Beat. She goes back to working on it.

                                JOEL
                    So what are you working on?

                                CATHY
                    A crossword puzzle. Ellen Conner 
                    gave them to me. She said she 
                    couldn't do them anymore. Something 
                    to do with Will ruining them for 
                    her. Whatever that means.

     They stop at a red light. Joel looks over at the puzzle.

                                JOEL
                    5-down is handle.

                                CATHY
                    No itís not. There are only 5 
                    spaces on that blank. The answer is 
                    lever.

     Cathy looks uncomfortable and a bit annoyed. Joel 
     continues to look over her shoulder. 

                                JOEL
                    24-across is Howard. 

                                CATHY
                    Thanks. I wasn't there yet, so I 
                    didnít have a chance to answer that 
                    clue, but thanks.

                                CATHY
                    No problem.

     Cathy looks increasingly uncomfortable.

                                CATHY
                    Wow, I'm sure you need to get back 
                    to focusing on the road.

                                JOEL
                    No, actually there seems to be a 
                    bit of a traffic jam so I'm good.

     Silence continues.

                                CATHY
                              (suddenly)
                    Stop looking over my shoulder!

                                JOEL
                    What?

                                CATHY
                    You don't look over someoneís 
                    shoulder and do their crossword. 
                    That is bad crossword etiquette. 
                    You wait until they have asked you 
                    for help on the crossword and then 
                    you help them only on the question 
                    asked, and you never, NEVER solve a 
                    clue that the original crossword 
                    solver hasnít gotten a chance to 
                    read yet! Gosh!

     Joel looks stunned and confused. Ellen looks embarrassed 
     by her outburst.

                                CATHY
                    Oh, I love this song.

     She quickly turns the radio up. She avoids eye contact.

									CUT TO:

     MUSIC MONTAGE
     (Tom Petty's "When a Kid Goes Bad.")

     EXT. ROAD - SAME

     Establishing shot. Chris' car is barreling down the road.

									CUT TO:

     INT. GROCERY STORE - MINUTES LATER

     Chris is in a small grocery store. He walks up to a 
     YOUNG GIRL. He says something and shows a picture of 
     Kate. The girl points to an older male worker who is 
     holding an ice pack to his crotch.

									CUT TO:

     INT. RESTAURANT - LATER

     Colleen is sitting across from the general manager of 
     the place. He is angrily describing something to her, 
     while an icepack rests in his lap.

									CUT TO:

     INT. CHRIS' CAR - LATER

     It's a bit darker. Chris is still looking out his 
     windows, in hope of finding Kate.

									CUT TO:

     INT. STORE - SAME

     Dorian is in a K-Mart like store. He sees a girl from 
     behind, who looks exactly like Kate. He runs up to her, 
     grabs her, and turns her around. The women who is 
     obviously not Kate, hits Dorian in the mouth and stomps 
     away.

									CUT TO:

     INT. CHRIS' CAR - LATER

     It's completely dark. While stopped at a light, Chris 
     seems to be deep in thought.

									FADE TO:

     INT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - LATER
     (MUSICE FADE AWAY)

     Colleen is standing by the window. Chris enters.

                                COLLEEN
                    Any luck?

                                CHRIS
                    No. All she left behind was a trail 
                    of angry men with bruised balls.

    Dorian enters.

                                DORIAN
                    Well none of the nearby hospitals 
                    have a girl fitting Kate's 
                    description. At least she hasnít 
                    been hurt.

                                COLLEEN
                    That's it! I'm calling the police.

                                DORIAN
                    Please, Ms. Davison you don't have -

                                COLLEEN
                    Fuck your hippie psychologist 
                    bullshit! I need to know my 
                    daughter is okay.

     She leaves the room. Chris sits and yawns, which Dorian 
     notices.

                                DORIAN
                    You know it's getting pretty late. 
                    You should probably head home to 
                    get some shuteye.

                                CHRIS
                    I'm fine.

                                DORIAN
                    What about your parents? They must 
                    be getting worried.

                                CHRIS
                    I called them and told them what's 
                    going on.

     Long pause.

                                DORIAN
                    You know Chris...you don't have to 
                    do this. Me and Kate's mom can 
                    finish looking for her. And after 
                    she calls the police, we'll have a 
                    lot more man power.
                                (beat)
                    You can go home and just relax. 
                    We'll call you when we find her.

     Chris gives him a very serious look.

                                CHRIS
                    I want to stay.

									CUT TO:                           

     EXT. JENNINGS HOME - LATER

     Casey is walking up the driveway, deep in thought.

                                CASEY
                    Trying to bribe me. Like I really 
                    need the money.

     Casey enters his house.

									CUT TO:

     INT. JENNINGS HOME - CONTINUOUS

     Casey enters the kitchen. His father JOHN JENNINGS sits 
     at the kitchen table, looking over some bills.

                                JOHN
                    Hey Case, good news. My buddy says 
                    he can fix your scooter.

                                CASEY
                    That's great.

                                JOHN
                    But you're going to have to be 
                    patient. The whole thing is going 
                    to cost around 500 dollars so we're 
                    going to have save up a bit.

                                CASEY
                    Oh.

     Casey leaves the room.

                                CASEY (V/O)
                    That wasn't a temptation. Probably 
                    just a coincidence.

									CUT TO:

     INT. JENNINGS HOME - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

     Casey enters. His mother, JANICE JENNINGS is packing up 
     some boxes.

                                CASEY
                    Whatcha doin' mom?

                                JANICE
                    I'm going to sell this stuff.

                                CASEY
                    What? Why?

                                JANICE
                    Your genius of a father forgot to 
                    pay the heating and telephone bill. 
                    So now we owe them 500 dollars or 
                    we donít get a phone or hot water.

     Casey seems a little confused, and a bit tempted.

                                CASEY (V/O)
                    Don't give in. Remember, this is 
                    all for Kay. All for Kay.

     Casey starts to leave when his little sister, KATIE 
     JENNINGS appears.

                                KATIE
                    Hey, Casey. Mind answering this 
                    magazine survey?

                                CASEY
                            (distracted)
                    Um, sure.

                                KATIE
                    Okay. 
                               (reads)
                    What would you do if you suddenly 
                    found 500 dollars?

     Casey screams.

                                CASEY
                    STOP FUCKING TEMPTING ME YOU SON OF 
                    A BITCH!

     Casey storms off. Katie seems taken aback.

                                KATIE
                    Mom! Casey called me a son of a 
                    bitch again!

									CUT TO:

     INT. JOEL'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - SAME

     Joel enters the kitchen. His mother MARGIE MAYBERRY is 
     sitting at the kitchen table working on a paper. Joel 
     grabs something from the fridge.    

                                MARGIE
                    Hi honey.

                                JOEL
                    Hey mom.

                                MARGIE
                            (preoccupied)
                    Did you learn anything interesting 
                    at school today?

                                JOEL
                    Women are really sensitive about 
                    their crosswords.

                                MARGIE
                    Nonsense, dear.

    There is the crossword from the newspaper spread out on 
    the table, the same one that Cathy was working on.

                                JOEL
                    24-across is Howard.

                                MARGIE
                    What? Dammit! I actually knew that 
                    one! You should have let me figure 
                    it out by myself. I wasnít even 
                    there yet!

                                JOEL
                    Jesus! Iím sorry I ó

                                MARGIE
                    Don't you know that itís rude to 
                    solve a clue that the solver hasnít 
                    gotten a chance to read yet?

                                JOEL
                    So I've been told. I'm going 
                    upstairs, Iíve had quite enough 
                    insanity for today.

                                MARGIE
                    Oh, insanity! Thatís what 7-down is.

     Margie goes back to her crossword. Joel seems completely 
     freaked out by all of this.

									CUT TO:

     INT. LUNCHROOM - NEXT MORNING

     Brian Vandele is sitting at the breakfast table with 
     Will, Brock, and Reicther. The Dr. Phil book is 
     in front of him on the table.

                                BROCK
                    So did it work? Did Dr. Phil 
                    magically change you from a loser 
                    to a real boy?

                                BRIAN
                    No, Iím still a loser.

                                REICTHER
                            (mock sympathy)
                    Aw, what happened? Did Dr. Phil let 
                    you down?

                                BRIAN
                    No he didnít. You guys just freaked 
                    me out so bad yesterday morning 
                    that I didn't use the book to its 
                    full advantage. Today, Iím really 
                    going to go for it. Iím going to 
                    show this book to every woman I 
                    come in contact with. Women love 
                    this guy. It has to work.

                                REICTHER
                    There is something very disturbing 
                    about you using Dr. Phil to try to 
                    get women.

                                WILL
                    I agree. Leave the bald man out of 
                    it.

                                BRIAN
                    Shut up. I swear it's going to work, 
                    youíll see.

									FADE TO:

     INT. ART ROOM - LATER

     Brian hold Dr. Phil book to his chest, aiming it at 
     every girl he passes and smiling oddly. The girls seem 
     more creeped out at him than anything. Brian sees that 
     the book is not having the desired effect, and begins to 
     grow frustrated. He hold the book in front of his face 
     and addresses it.

                                BRIAN
                    You fat bald bastard, why wonít you 
                    work?

     Wide shot. We see that Brian is throwing his tantrum in 
     front of a girl, sitting down at a nearby table, who 
     seems vaguely interested in what Brian has to say. The 
     girl is named Emily.

                                BRIAN
                    I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! 
                    You are a disgrace to mustache 
                    wearing men all over the world! Tom 
                    Selleck is ashamed of you! Chuck 
                    Norris loathes you! Even Hitler 
                    wonít claim you! If I could grow 
                    facial hair I swear to God I would 
                    feel the same! I ó

                                EMILY
                    I know exactly what you mean. How 
                    do people like that get famous?

                                BRIAN
                    What? Oh...yeah. All that he does 
                    is get unpleasant people to come on 
                    his show, and then he tells them 
                    theyíre unpleasant. How many brain 
                    cells does that take?

                                EMILY
                    A five year old could do his job.

                                BRIAN
                    I donít get why heís rich and 
                    famous. Who let him on television?

                                EMILY
                    I blame Oprah.

                                BRIAN
                    That black bitch.

     Brian looks appraisingly at Emily.

                                BRIAN
                    I'm sorry, I donít know your name.

                                EMILY
                    It's Emily.

                                BRIAN
                    Oh, well Iím Brian.

                                EMILY
                    Hello, Brian. So tell me all about 
                    your traumatic experiences with Dr. 
                    Phil. I've never seen anyone so 
                    impassioned about the bald bastard. 
                    Iím intrigued.

                                BRIAN
                    How much time do you have?

     Brian sits down next to Emily, who smiles affectionately.

									CUT TO:

     EXT. JOHNSON HOUSE - AFTER SCHOOL

     Establishing shot. Casey stands at the front door.

									CUT TO:

     INT. JOHNSON HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - CONTINUOUS

     We can hear the doorbell ring. KAY JOHNSON enters.

                                KAY
                    Coming!

     Kay opens the door to reveal Casey who holding dozens 
     upon dozens of roses, balloons, and other assorted 
     goods.

                                CASEY
                    Surprise!

                                KAY
                    Oh my God!

     He hands her the roses.

                                KAY
                    How many -

                                CASEY
                            (overlapping)
                    How many roses? Three dozen.

     He then hands her the balloons. Kay is completely 
     shocked by all this.

                                KAY
                    What's all this for?

                                CASEY
                    To show how much I love you.

     She smiles. Just at that moment, Mark enters from 
     another room.

                                KAY
                    Casey how did you afford all this?

                                CASEY
                    Your father. He felt so bad about 
                    our little dinner mishap that he 
                    wanted to make up in some way. So 
                    he gave me some money to so I could 
                    treat you right.

     A giant smile comes across Kay's face. She hugs Casey.

                                KAY
                    I love you so much, Casey.

     Casey smiles and looks over at Mark. He has taken out a 
     piece of a paper and written: "Jesus Will Get You For 
     This." Casey's smile quickly fades.

                                CASEY
                    I love you too, Kay.

									FADE TO:

     EXT. DAVIDSON HOUSE - SAME

     Chris is leaving through the front door.

                                CHRIS
                    Don't worry. I'll be right back. 
                    Just going for a walk.

     He slowly starts to walk down the sidewalk. He hangs his 
     head low, defeated. He sighs.

									FADE TO:

     EXT. SIDEWALK - MINUTES LATER

     Chris is still walking with his head down. He looks over 
     and suddenly notices something.

                                CHRIS
                            (to himself)
                    Kate?

     CHRIS' POV:
     There's a playground about a block away. There's a girl 
     sitting on the swing who looks like Kate.

     Chris begins to walk toward the playground.

									FADE TO:

     INT. PLAYGROUND - SECONDS LATER

     Kate Davidson is in fact the girl sitting on the swing. 
     Chris slowly comes up. Kate turns and smiles at him. He 
     smiles back and takes the swing seat next to her. 
     Ironically, they've come back to the place were they 
     first met.

                                KATE
                    Hey, Chris.

                                CHRIS
                    Hey, Kate.

     Beat.

                                CHRIS
                    Whatcha doin' here?

                                KATE
                    Well, I thought to myself...where's 
                    the last place they would look for 
                    a crazy person and then it hit me...
                    the park.

     Chris laughs. Beat.

                                CHRIS
                    You feeling okay?

                                KATE
                    Yeah. You know I was walking around 
                    last night and I was afraid to go 
                    home. I was actually in great fear 
                    to go home. You know why?

     Chris shakes his head.

                                KATE
                    Because I thought someone was out 
                    to get me. 
                        (forcefully chuckles)
                    It was about then I realized that, 
                    yes I am a bit insane in the 
                    membrane.

     Chris laughs. Beat.

                                KATE
                    I'm sorry, Chris. For everything 
                    I've put you through.

                                CHRIS
                    Oh, Kate. It's okay.

     They hug. Kate suddenly starts to chuckle.

                                KATE
                    You know this whole thing reminds 
                    me of joke.

                                CHRIS
                    What is it?

                                KATE
                    Two inmates are trying to escape a 
                    mental institution. They are trying 
                    to work out how to get over to the 
                    next building, outside the 
                    institution, one inmate leaps 
                    across, but the second is afraid of 
                    falling. The first says "I'll turn 
                    on this flashlight, and you can 
                    walk along the light beam to get 
                    across." The second inmate replies,
                    "What are you crazy? I'm not 
                    falling for that; you'll turn the 
                    flashlight off when I'm halfway 
                    across."

     Kate lets out a small laugh, while Chris smiles.

     ZAP! Dorian has come up behind her and tasered her. She 
     quickly collapses. Chris jumps to his feet and looks 
     greatly confused at Dorian, who seems to be privately 
     celebrating.

                                CHRIS
                    What the hell?!

                                DORIAN
                    Everyone relax. I got her sedated.

                                CHRIS
                    What the fuck did you do that for!?

                                DORIAN
                    Trust me when I tell you Chris, 
                    from a medical stance she has a bad 
                    diagnosis of kicking people in the 
                    balls.

                                CHRIS
                    You didn't have to do that. I got 
                    her calmed down.

     Dorian stops smiling and realizes his mistake.

                                DORIAN
                    Oh...you did.

     Beat. 

                                DORIAN
                    Oops.

                                CHRIS
                    Oops!? You taser a teenage girl and 
                    that's all you have to say!?

                                DORIAN
                    Look we can stand here and argue 
                    about who zapped who or you can 
                    help me drag her to the car.

     Chris sighs in frustration.

								TIME FADE TO:

     INT. VAN - HOUR LATER

     Dr. Dorian is driving the van. In the very back sit 
     Chris and Kate. Kate is wrapped in a blanket, leaning up 
     against Chris. He has his arm tightly wrapped around 
     her. Chris and Kate quietly talk to each other.

                               KATE
                    Are we almost there?

                               CHRIS
                    About another block or so.

     Beat.

                               KATE
                    Chris...

                               CHRIS
                    Yeah?

                               KATE
                    Do me a favor.

                               CHRIS
                    Anything.

     Beat.

                               KATE
                    Be careful.

                               CHRIS
                            (confused)
                    Of what?

                               KATE
                    Nothing in particular. Just...keep 
                    a steady frame of mind. Don't let 
                    this happen to you.

                               CHRIS
                    It's not going to happen to me.

     Beat.

                               KATE
                    You have no way of knowing for 
                    sure.

     The van slows down to a stop.

                               KATE
                    Remember...all it takes is one bad
                    day for anyone to go mad.

     Chris gives her a concerned look.

                               DORIAN (O.S.)
                    Okay. We're here.

     Kate looks around. She forces a chuckle.

                               KATE
                    Home, sweet home.
                         (turns to Chris)
                    We should probably get my bags out.

     Chris is still thinking about what she said.

                               KATE
                    Chris?

                               CHRIS
                    Yeah. Definitely. 

     Chris moves and gets out of the van.

									FADE TO:
                          
     INT. LUNCHROOM - NEXT MORNING

     Will, Reicther, Brock, Casey, Joel, Brian, and Emily all 
     sit around the table. Emily and Brian are sitting very 
     close. She is working intently on a paper. Brian is 
     leaning across the table to talk quietly with Will and 
     Casey.

                                WILL
                    Are you so desperate to prove us 
                    wrong that you would really pay a 
                    girl to sit with you?

                                BRIAN
                    Yes I am. But I didn't have to pay 
                    this girl. The book worked...in a 
                    roundabout way.

                                CASEY
                    It did not. I donít buy that for a 
                    second. Dr. Phil couldnít possibly 
                    have gotten you a real date, a 
                    sympathy friend, perhaps, but not a 
                    date. That girl is here out of pity.

                                BRIAN
                    Oh really? (to Emily) Hey Emily, 
                    what movie did you want to go see 
                    tomorrow night?

                                EMILY
                    Oh, I donít care, hon. You pick. 
                    That new Ron Howard movie looks 
                    good, though.

                                JOEL
                    Please donít mention Ron Howard. 
                    That bastard got me in trouble 
                    twice the other day.

                                CASEY
                    Don't call Ron Howard a bastard.

                                BROCK
                    I thought you liked Ron Howard?

                                JOEL
                    Not anymore. Ron Howard is dead to 
                    me. 24-across...
                                (beat)
                    ...you bastard.

                                BRIAN
                    Alright then...back to my gloating. 
                    I've got the satisfaction of 
                    knowing I was right about the book, 
                    the joy of having proven all you 
                    assholes wrong, and, oh yeah, a hot 
                    date for Friday night.

     Brian laughs in victory.

                                BRIAN
                    That is correct. I was right and 
                    you were wrong. My strategy worked. 
                    I have a date. Your strategy failed. 
                    You are lonely and sad and pathetic. 
                    You may as well name your left hand 
                    Petunia and build a shack in the 
                    woods, because you are looking at a 
                    life of loneliness as a strange, 
                    flannel-wearing hermit. Youíre like 
                    Reictherís long lost twin brother, 
                    youíre so path ó

                                WILL
                    Shut up and give me the fucking 
                    book.

                                BRIAN
                    Really?

                                WILL
                    Hand it over.

     Will takes the book and runs off camera.

                                WILL
                            (off camera)
                    Hey Ellen!

     Brian shrugs and looks over at Emily, who has heard none 
     of their conversation because she is so engrossed in her 
     work.

                                BRIAN
                    12-down is Ďsawbuck.í

     She puts down the paper to reveal that it is a crossword. 
     Emily looks up, suddenly very serious.

                                EMILY
                    This isn't going to work out.

     She stands and begins to leave. Brian gets up and chases 
     after her.

                                BRIAN
                    Wait, baby! I can change.

     The Gang start to laugh.

									FADE TO:

     INT. BATHROOM - SAME

     (BEGIN SONG: Nirvana's "All Apologizes")

     Chris stands at the sink, with a depressed look on his 
     face. He stares in the mirror. He looks completely tired 
     and restless, like the world's on his shoulder.

                                CHRIS
                    ...One bad day.

     Chris looks around and slowly makes an exit.

                                                        FADE OUT.
                           
                            END OF EPISODE










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