Return to Simply Scripts

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. 
This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express 
written permission of the author.

-------------------------

  
                                
 

                                
                                
                                
                                
                                
                                         
                                
                          

                          THE LUNCHROOM                                
                               
                           Episode One
                        "Heaven Can Wait"

                                
                           Written by
                          Bruce Snyder
                                                                
                               
                           Created by
                          Bruce Snyder                                
                                
                                                               
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Bruce Snyder
                                
                       EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
                          Vincent Biga
                                
                          STORY EDITOR
                        Melinda Waterman

                       CONSULTING PRODUCER
                          Edward Drogos
                                
                       CONSULTING PRODUCER
                           Max Majernik


                                

                                 
                                 CAST LIST

		Will Cooper.................................
		Joel Mayberry...............................
		Brian Vandele...............................
		Brock Warner................................
		Reicther....................................
		Casey Jennings..............................
		Chris Hughes................................
		Stacy Cifaretto.............................
		Ellen Conner................................
		Cathy Phenis................................
		Mr. John Parker.............................

 
                              GUEST CAST LIST

		Ms. Diane Ballard........................... 
		Kate Davidson...............................
		Arthur Winchester...........................
		Mr. Zimmer.................................. 
		Nurse Roberts............................... 
		James Kelly.................................
		Male Driver................................. 
		Female Driver............................... 
		Viper Driver................................






     Copyright  Bruce Snyder 

     TEASER

     Title Card: Previously On "The Lunchroom"...

     FADE IN:

     INT. VANDELE HOME - BRIAN'S ROOM - SAME

     Brian is standing on his bed, messing around with his 
     ceiling fan.

								FADE TO:

     INT. BRIAN'S ROOM - LATER

     Brian is sitting on his bed. He is writing something on 
     the nightstand.

								FADE TO:

     INT. BRIAN'S ROOM - LATER

     Brian is once again standing on his bed. This time his 
     is hooking some wires around his neck, that are attached 
     to his ceiling fan.

								FADE TO:

     INT. BRIAN'S ROOM - SAME

     Brian closes his eyes and jumps off the bed. He then 
     starts to struggle for breath. But then, suddenly, he is 
     slowly lowered to the ground.

     CLOSE UP ON THE TOP OF ROPE:

     The knot Brian tied it in is slowly coming undone.

     Brian finally reaches the ground and his breathing 
     struggle is over.

                                 BRIAN
                   What the hell happened?

     Brian looks over the rope.

                                 BRIAN
                   GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT ROPE! CAN'T 
                   STAY TIED WORTH NOTHING!

     Brian removes the nonce from his neck.

							FADE TO BLACK

     Title Card: Tonight, on "The Lunchroom"...

     (SONG: The Rolling Stones - "It Won't Take Long.")

     FADE IN:

     INT. BATHROOM - DAY

     TITLE CARD: June.

     Brian is in the bathroom. He has a shaving blade I his 
     hand. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He 
     tries to slash his wrist but it seems stuck at the edge 
     of his wrist.

                                BRIAN
                    Stupid dull blade!

     He tries his hardest but can't slash his wrist. 
     Frustrated he throws the razor off to the side.

								FADE TO:

     TITLE CARD: July.

     INT. KITCHEN - DAY

     Brian is in the kitchen standing by the fridge. He looks 
     around to see if the coast is clear. He walks over and 
     opens the stove. He turns it on as high as possible. He 
     takes another deep breath and sticks his head in. He 
     waits.

								TIME FADE:

     INT. KITCHEN - HOURS LATER

     Brian is still on the ground with his head in the oven. 
     He takes his head out and looks it over.

                                BRIAN
                    Is it broken?

     After a few seconds of looking it over he notices 
     something.

                                BRIAN
                    ...It's electric.

								FADE TO:

     TITLE CARD: August.

     EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY

     Brian stands at the corner of a street. Their seems to 
     be a fair amount of traffic going both ways. Brian seems 
     to be struck with an idea. He briefly looks both ways.

                                BRIAN
                    Well, it's worth it. I've got 
                    nothing to lose except my life.

     Brian waits a second before DASHING out into the middle 
     of the street. He quickly closes his eyes and waits for 
     something to happen.

     Suddenly HORNS begins to blow as cars simply do a quick 
     turn to avoid him.

                                MALE DRIVER (O.S.)
                    Why don't you get out of the street, 
                    Sponge Bob fat ass!

     Brian opens and sees that the cars going around him. He 
     sighs in depression.

                                FEMALE DRIVER (O.S.)
                    Get out of the street you fucking 
                    lunatic!

     Brian lowers his head and slowly begins to walk away. 
     Suddenly a small BLACK VIPER quickly swerves to miss 
     Brian and CRASHES into a giant telephone poll.

                                BRIAN
                            (to himself)
                    Can't even kill myself.

     (SONG FADES AWAY)

     He continues to walk away with his head down. He doesn't 
     even seem to notice the crash. Suddenly the DRIVER of 
     the VIPER gets out of the car.
                               
                                VIPER DRIVER
                    Jesus...my neck.

                                BRIAN
                            (to himself)
                    I can't even do the one thing Kurt 
                    Cubain did right. 

                                VIPER DRIVER
                    HEY! Back off man! His words were 
                    poetry.

     Brian turns to him.

                                BRIAN
                           (sarcastically)
                    Oh, yeah. Great poetry. Just like 
                    Tupac or Tim McGraw.

     Brian shakes his head and continues to walk away. The 
     Viper Driver shakes his head. 

                                VIPER DRIVER
                    Punk kids, don't know good music.

     He stands and watches Brian walk away. He looks down and 
     notices something. He raises his hand to reveal that 
     THREE of his fingers have been CUT OFF. He seems very 
     calm and relaxed.

                                VIPER DRIVER
                            (calm; to himself)
                    Hmm...should I go to the hosipital 
                    for this one?

     He shrugs.

                                VIPER DRIVER
                    This is going to be a thinker. 

     OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE:

     Marvin Gaye's "Ain't That Peculiar" plays over the 
     credits.

     AFTER CREDITS:

     EXT. CENTERVILLE HIGH SCHOOL - MORNING

     Establishing shot.

									CUT TO:

     INT. LUNCHROOM - MORNING (BEFORE SCHOOL)

     BRIAN VANDELE, CHRIS HUGHES, and BROCK WARNER are 
     sitting around a lunch table. REICTHER is sitting at the 
     table next to them, with a flannel shirt covering him 
     up. Chris seems to be upset by something.

                                CHRIS
                    But I don't understand, why is it a 
                    stereotype?

     Brian walks up and sits down.

                                BRIAN
                    Why is what a stereotype?

                                BROCK
                    Apparently, Chris was called gay 
                    yesterday for wearing a pink shirt.

                                BRIAN
                             (jokingly)
                    Fag.

     Chris seems confused.

                                CHRIS
                    I'm a cigarette?

                                REICTHER
                             (to himself)
                    Come on.

                                CHRIS
                    Look, wearing a pink shirt doesn't 
                    make me gay.

                                BRIAN
                    No, but those pants and shoes do.

                                BROCK
                    They're just stereotypes, Chris.

                                REICTHER
                              (to himself)
                    Almost got it.

                                BRIAN
                    What the hell are you doing under 
                    there?

                                REICTHER
                    I'm seeing if life savers create a 
                    spark.

     JOEL MAYBERRY and WILL COOPER approach. Joel seems to be 
     angry, while Will is wearing headphones listening to music.

                                JOEL
                            (to Will)
                    You're not suppose to listen to 
                    music like that!

                                BROCK
                    What happened?

                                JOEL
                    Mr. Song and dance here decided to 
                    listen to his music this morning 
                    while driving.

                                BRIAN
                    What's wrong with that?

                                JOEL
                    - With headphones so that you can't
                    hear outside noises.

                                CHRIS
                    Sounds like something Casey would 
                    do.

                                BRIAN
                    What's he listening to?

     He reaches over and picks up the CD.

                                BRIAN
                    "My Fair Lady", the original 
                    Broadway cast recording.

                                BROCK
                    Broadway, you say?

                                CHRIS
                    So, is that gay too?

                                BRIAN
                    God, have you not learned anything 
                    from living in America the last 
                    year and half?

                               CHRIS
                    I've learned that I can get a pizza 
                    faster then an ambulance.

     Brock chuckles.

                               BROCK
                    It's true.

                               CHRIS
                    It's also very weird that bank 
                    doors are wide open but their pens 
                    are chained.

                               BRIAN
                    That's not necessarily true.

     Brian rises his pen. It reads "First National Bank."

     CASEY JENNINGS walks up, whistling, and sits down at the 
     table. Over his right eye is LARGE BANDAGE.

                                CASEY
                    Morning.

     As Casey begins to look over a paper everyone else 
     stares at him.

                                BRIAN
                    What the hell happened to you?

                                CASEY
                    I was in an accident.

                                JOEL
                    What kind of accident? 

                                CASEY
                    Automobile.

     Casey then begins to casually read the paper. Everyone 
     seems to be waiting for the rest of the story.

                                WILL
                    That's it? You're not going to tell 
                    us what the hell happened?

                                CASEY
                    Oh, sorry. Didn't know you wanted 
                    to hear details.

     Everyone sighs.

                                CASEY
                    Well, me and my uncle Corey were 
                    out by the mall. We were coming out 
                    of the parking lot. We stopped at 
                    the stop sign. He was talking about 
                    something, I can't really remember 
                    what because the next thing I know 
                    I'm looking to my right and see a 
                    skinny, drunk, Mexican on a tiny 
                    motorcycle going 80 miles per hour. 
                    He hits my side of the car, sending 
                    his 350 pound fat, white girlfriend 
                    onto the windshield. 

     Everyone begins to laugh.

                                CASEY
                    Her ass broke the piece of glass 
                    that flew and cut my eye. I have to 
                    wear bandage over my eye for a 
                    couple of weeks.

                                BROCK
                    Oh well. You'll be fine.

     As everyone continues talking to Casey, Joel looks up 
     and notices something. We do a QUICK PAN to the LEFT and 
     we see CATHY PHENIS all the way on the other end of the 
     lunchroom. She smiles and waves. Joel gives her a 
     nervous smile in return. She then signals him to come 
     over.

                                JOEL
                    I'll be right back. I have to go 
                    clear something with Mrs. Campbell.

     Joel gets up and leaves.

									CUT TO:

     INT. EMPTY HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER

     Joel and Cathy are standing next to a set of lockers. 
     Cathy has her arms wrapped tight around Joel, kissing 
     him all over.

                                JOEL
                            (tries to get 
                             word in)
                    Cat-Cathy...Wa, I -

     He pushes her off of him.

                                CATHY
                             (embarrassed)
                    Sorry about that. I got a bit 
                    excited.

                                JOEL
                    Trust me, I wasn't complaining. 
                    It's just that I'm not sure you 
                    kiss me so...(searches for word) 
                    "passionately" in the hall. 
                    Remember we have a secret 
                    relationship. (nervous laughter) 
                    It's not really secret if your dry 
                    humping me in the middle of the 
                    hall.

                                CATHY
                    I'm sorry.

                                JOEL
                    It's perfectly all right.

     Brief pause.

                                CATHY
                    Can I tell my friends?

                                JOEL
                             (confused)
                    What? No. Remember it's "secret."

                                CATHY
                    ...Oh.

     Brief pause.

                                CATHY
                    How about my family?

                                JOEL
                       (slowly pronounces it)
                    Se...cret! It's not hard to 
                    understand.

                                CATHY
                    But what am I suppose to tell them 
                    if we go to the movies.

                                JOEL
                    Tell 'em your going to the movies 
                    with a friend.

                                CATHY
                    You want me to lie to my parents?                                   

                                JOEL
                    No. I just don't want you to tell 
                    the truth.

     Cathy looks a bit disappointed. Joel puts his arm around 
     her shoulder.

                                JOEL
                    You can tell your family.

     She quickly smiles.

                                CATHY
                    Thank you.

     They begin to walk away.

                                                    TIME SWIPE TO:

     INT. MR. PARKER'S ROOM - AN HOUR LATER

     MR. JOHN PARKER is at the front of the room, writing on 
     the chalk board. In the room, Brock takes very careful 
     notes. Brian stares off at the floor. Will is watching 
     Parker. Reicther is fighting sleep. Parker finishes 
     Writing with "Early 1800's."

     When he finishes and he turns and begins to address the 
     class.

                                PARKER
                    Now dozens of people didn't want to 
                    follow king Louis because he was 
                    crazy. He was very noted for 
                    stopping his carriage to talk to 
                    he trees.

     CLOSE UP ON REICTHER.

									CUT TO:

     INT. FORREST - DAY (REICTHER'S FANTASY)

     The sun is shining bright. Birds are chirping. Near the 
     dirt road we can see KING LOUIS IX (which is Parker 
     dressed up as old English king) standing near a tree. He 
     has his arms crossed. He shakes his head and begins to 
     talk to the tree.

                                LOUIS
                    No, no. You're not right.
                              (pause)
                    Okay, now your being condescending.
                              (pause)
                    You know, I can't talk with you. 
                    Your drunk.
                              (pause)
                    No, you can forget it.

     Louis looks shocked.

                                LOUIS
                    Okay...*that* was racist.

								SMASH CUT TO:

     INT. PARKER'S ROOM - SAME

     Reicther shakes his head a bit, snapping back into 
     reality. Parker is in the middle of a lecture.

                                PARKER
                    Now when the colonists started to 
                    propose ideas for this -

     There's knock on his door. Parker stops and walks over 
     to the door. He opens it to reveal MS. DIANE BALLARD. 
     Parker's smile fades.

                                PARKER
                    Sorry, if I look disappointed. I 
                    just thought it was going to be 
                    someone important.

                                BALLARD
                             (sarcastic)
                    Ha ha! There's that famous Parker 
                    wit.

                                PARKER
                    What do you want, Diane?

                                BALLARD
                    I got it.

                                PARKER
                    Got what?

     Ballard reaches off screen and bring into frame a giant 
     piece of clothing with a design on it.

                                BALLARD
                              (happily)
                    I got the backdrops!

     A big smile comes across her face. To this Parker gives 
     her a look ands slams the door. He walks over to the 
     front of the room.

                                PARKER
                    Now the colonists would gather 
                    together to get ideas on how to 
                    handle the situation -

     There's more knocking. This time it's constant knocking. 
     Parker, irate, goes over to the door. He opens and 
     closes the door as fast as possible. We hear a THUD, 
     followed by a something heavy hitting the floor.

                                PARKER
                    Okay, moving on to the Civil War.

									CUT TO:

     INT. LUNCHROOM - LUNCHTIME

     The place is crowded with kids eating, some talking, 
     some goofing around. At one table in the far corner we 
     see THE GANG.

     Reicther and Brock are in front of Casey. He bandage is 
     off and they are examining his wound. Will is reading 
     from his "My Fair Lady" script. Brian and Joel are 
     sitting. Eating and talking.

     (NOTE: During the scene we never see Casey's wound.)

                                BROCK
                        (off Casey's wound)
                    Jesus!

     Reicther pokes it a bit.

                                REICTHER
                    Heh, it's like a blood colored 
                    sponge!

     Reicther pokes some more. Brock grabs Reicther's hand 
     and stops him.

                                WILL
                    Hey, where's Chris? He's suppose to 
                    help do lines.

                                JOEL
                    Well, because he's in this thing 
                    called Peer Helping he gets next 
                    period free. So he went home for 
                    lunch.

                                WILL
                    Damn it!

                                BRIAN
                    Your getting way too worked up 
                    about this play thing. I mean who 
                    gives a fuck, it's high school 
                    drama.

                                WILL
                    Still, I have an important part.

                                JOEL
                    You're an extra.

                                WILL
                    I'm NOT an extra. I have a name AND 
                    lines.

                                BRIAN
                    Oh, yeah? How many?

                                WILL
                          (embarrassed)
                    ...Three.

                                REICTHER
                    Does any one have tape and a piece 
                    of macaroni? I'm going to give 
                    Casey a new eyebrow.

								      CUT TO:

     INT. KATE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME

     We are focused on the TV. It's playing a rerun of "Saved 
     by the Bell." We PAN to the LEFT to see KATE DAVIDSON 
     lying down on the couch. She is in her robe with a 
     blanket covering her. She giggles.

                                 KATE
                    Oh Screech and your whacky antics.

								     CUT TO:

     INT. KATE'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - SAME

     Chris is standing at the counter. He is preparing a 
     sandwich for Kate. He seems to be in deep thought.

                                CHRIS (V/O)
                    Look at you, old boy. Here you are, 
                    spending your free period 
                    making lunch for your mentally 
                    unstable girlfriend. How did it 
                    ever come to this?

     Pause.

                                CHRIS (V/O)
                    I wonder if Kate's taken her meds. 
                    Probably not. Damn it! She can't 
                    keep doing this. I've got to talk 
                    to her about. 
                               (pause)
                    After lunch. NO! I've got to do it 
                    now. Do what Will says and go a 
                    pair. Whatever it means.

     He stops what he's doing and heads out of the room.

									CUT TO:              

     INT. KATE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS

     Kate is still watching "Saved by the Bell." Chris storms 
     in with a serious look on his face.

                                CHRIS
                    Kate we need to talk.

     Kate quickly closes her eyes and pretends to snore.

                                CHRIS
                    I know your not sleeping.

     Chris smiles as he gets an idea.

                                CHRIS
                    Tickle police!

     Chris begins to tickle her. Almost immediately she 
     begins to laugh.

                                CHRIS
                          (still tickling)
                    Are you awake now?

                                KATE
                             (laughing)
                    Yes!

                                CHRIS
                          (still tickling)
                    Couldn't hear ya'.

                                KATE
                            (laughing)
                    YES!

     Chris stops tickling. After a second, Kate's smile fades 
     away.

                                KATE
                    You British prick and your damn 
                    tickling.

                                CHRIS
                    Kate...I know you haven't been 
                    taking your meds.

                                KATE
                            (surprised)
                    What...?

                                CHRIS
                    I saw the bottle...it was filled 
                    with M&Ms.

                                KATE
                    That proves your full of shit!
                              (pause)
                    They were skittles.

                                CHRIS
                           (disappointed)
                    Oh, Kate.

                                KATE
                    I'm sorry. I...I just...didn't...I 
                    just didn't want to take them. I 
                    don't like pills.

                                CHRIS
                    Why?

                                KATE
                    I don't know. I use to have a hard 
                    time swallowing them. I use to 
                    choke on them.

     Pause. Kate begins to giggle.

                                KATE
                    Sorry, I can't help myself. I saw 
                    that on Dawson's Creek.

     She begins to laugh. Chris sighs, angrily. He stands and 
     heads for the door.

                                CHRIS
                    I'm out of here.

                                KATE
                    Wait, your leaving?

                                CHRIS
                    Yeah.

                                KATE
                    Why?

                                CHRIS
                    Oh I have to be home in ten minutes, 
                    gotta start my homework...oh yeah, 
                    you've lost your fucking mind.

     He opens the door when suddenly...BAM! Kate comes up 
     from behind and hits Chris in the back of the head with 
     a large book.

                                CHRIS
                    Kate, what the he -

                                KATE
                    Piece of shit!

     Kate whacks him a couple more times. Finally Chris is 
     able to push her a away. The two stand and stare at each 
     other. Chris seems to trying to say conscious. 

                                CHRIS
                    Uh, Kate. Just wait a minute!

     Kate freezes.

                                CHRIS
                   I know what your thinking. I know 
                   that not taking your meds has -

                                KATE
                   Enough about the goddamn fucking meds!

     She reaches over and gives him a few more whacks before 
     Chris collapse back into a shelf. Two Tea cups fall 
     beside him.

                                CHRIS
                        (weak; off tea cups)
                   Oh, the irony.

     Kate begins to look Chris over. Her angry slowly fades. 
     She drops the book. She grabs her head. She begins to 
     breath faster.

                                KATE
                            (distraught)
                   Oh, my God! What have I done!

                                CHRIS
                   I'll tell you what you've done. 
                   You've hit with a really big book!

                                KATE
                            (distraught)
                   Oh God! I can't believe I did that!

     Chris seems confused. Kate's anger has seemed to quickly 
     to changed to apologetic and worrisome.

                                CHRIS
                   It's...It's all right. I'm okay.

                                KATE
                   Okay! I just beat the shit out of 
                   you with a book.

                                CHRIS
                           (embarrassed)
                   Well, you didn't really beat the 
                   shit out of me.

     A little trickle of blood runs from the corner of 
     Chris's mouth.

                                KATE
                   Oh fuck! Blood! Jesus, I can't 
                   believe I did this!

                                CHRIS
                   Blood?
                             (scoffs)
                   That's not blood...it's...
                             (thinks)
                   Red Kool Aid.

                                KATE
                   Red Kool Aid?

                                CHRIS
                   Yep. Just regular...thick, salty Red 
                   Kool Aid.

                                KATE
                   Oh, Chris! I'm so sorry. I've put 
                   you through so much.

     Kate reaches in and begins to hug Chris. He on the other 
     hand continues to look baffled and a bit frightened.

								FADE TO:

     INT. TEACHER'S LOUNGE - LATER

     MR. ZIMMER, the Geography teacher and the school nurse, 
     NURSE ROBERTS sit at on of the four tables in the room. 
     Zimmer is an older guy, in his mid forties with a 
     grayish beard. Roberts is in her late fifties, wearing 
     thick wire frame glasses with plenty of wrinkles.

     Mr. Parker is standing at the coffee machine pouring 
     himself a cup of coffee. Zimmer reads the paper, while 
     Roberts is busying doing her nails.

                                PARKER
                    I don't know how I've gone this 
                    long without realizing how annoying 
                    Ballard is.

                                ZIMMER
                           (not looking up)
                    Well, everyone has their "quirks" John.

                                PARKER
                    Quirks? You call ketchup in 
                    Macaroni and cheese quirky? Or that 
                    little eye twitching she does when 
                    she gets nervous.

     Parker tries to imitate it but has a hard time. He seems 
     he has difficulty blinking just one eye.

                                PARKER
                    I thought I could do. But anyway, 
                    would you call those quirks?

                                ZIMMER
                    Yeah.

                                ROBERTS
                            (overlapping)
                    The very definition.

                                PARKER
                    Call it whatever. All I know is 
                    that stupid Pagan whore annoys me 
                    and is going to bring down the 
                    whole musical.

     Ballard enters. Her and Parker exchange looks before 
     turning their backs on each other.

                                BALLARD
                    John.

                                PARKER
                    Diane.

     Zimmer and Roberts smile.

                                ROBERTS
                              (quietly)
                    Oh this is going to be good.

                                PARKER
                    How's class?

                                BALLARD
                    Good.

                                PARKER
                    That's good.

                                BALLARD
                    Indeed.

                                ROBERTS
                              (quietly)
                    Parker is going to rip her a new 
                    one.

                                ZIMMER
                              (quietly)
                    Hey, Ballard can get him.

     Pause. [The next dialogue exchange is very quick.]

                                BALLARD
                    I wanna change a scene.

                                PARKER
                    You would.

                                BALLARD
                    Because I had an idea.

                                PARKER
                    All by yourself?

                                BALLARD
                    (fake laughter) HA, HA. Listen to 
                    everyone laugh.

                                PARKER
                    Which scene?

                                BALLARD
                    The garden scene.

                                PARKER
                    ...Garden scene?

                                BALLARD
                    Yep.

                                PARKER
                    B-But...that's my favorite scene.

                                BALLARD
                    Yeah, but it drags on. Stevens all 
                    ready okayed it.

     Zimmer and Roberts seems stunned. Ballard turns and 
     gives him an evil smile before leaving the room.

                                PARKER
                               (loud)
                    Don't let the door hit you where 
                    the good lord split ya'!

     He stands there, while Zimmer stands up and goes over to 
     Parker.

                                ZIMMER
                            (imitating sports 
                             announcer)
                    And with the game over Ballard 
                    easily beats Parker by a landslide.

                                PARKER
                    Oh, go download some more kiddy 
                    porn, Zim. 

     Zimmer is left speechless. Parker leaves the room. 
     Zimmer turns around and sees that Roberts is giving him 
     a look.

                                ZIMMER
                    What? They're "barely legal." 

								FADE TO:

     INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER

     CLOSE UP ON CLOCK:

     It hits three O'clock which is followed by a bell.

								FADE TO:

     EXT. AUDITORIUM - AFTER SCHOOL

     Will walks in from a hallway. He is whistling and 
     looking over his script again. He looks up and 
     immediately stops whistling. ELLEN CONNER is standing 
     near the doorway. He smiles.

     She looks over and notices him.

                                ELLEN
                    Hello there, stranger.

                                WILL
                    Hello.

                                ELLEN
                    What's your name again?

                                WILL
                    Will. Will Cooper.

                                ELLEN
                    What are you doing for this little 
                    production? Sound, make-up?

                                WILL
                    Actually I'm playing the black 
                    ambassador.

                                ELLEN
                    Once again I praise Mr. Parker for 
                    his fine casting decisions. 
                             (sarcastic)
                    It must be impossible to find a 
                    black person.

                                WILL
                            (sarcastic)
                    Especially a black actor. There's 
                    only like four in the whole world.

                                ELLEN
                    Oh, do I detect a bit of sarcasm?

                                WILL
                            (sarcastic)
                    Was I being too obvious?

                                ELLEN
                    I like how it's one sarcastic 
                    remark after another.

                                WILL
                    You want me to stop?

                                ELLEN
                    Pretty please with sprinkles on top.

     After giving each other looks, the auditorium doors open 
     and Ballard sticks her head out.

                                BALLARD
                    Sorry it took so long.

     Ballard opens the door.

                                WILL
                             (to Ellen)
                    After you.

     Ellen enters followed by Will. As Ballard props the door 
     open, Parker turns the corner.

                                BALLARD
                    Ah, John.

                                PARKER
                    Eep.

     Parker sighs and begins to walk in before Ballard stops 
     him.

                                BALLARD
                    John, wait.

     Parker turns to her.

                                BALLARD
                    Look, I know we haven't got along 
                    so far.

                                PARKER
                              (scoffs)
                    No shi -

     Ballard places her index finger on his lips, signaling 
     him to be quiet.

                                BALLARD
                    Please, John. Your snarling 
                    sarcastic remarks only go so far.

     John silences himself.

                                BALLARD
                    Look...we both hate each other. T
                    here's really no way around. We can 
                    try some cliché way to form a bond 
                    like they do on sitcoms but, come 
                    on. Nothing's really going to help 
                    us.

                                PARKER
                    Good point.

                                BALLARD
                    I say forget the trying to friends 
                    part, but we should at least try to 
                    do this musical together.

     Parker stands their, conflicted. After a few seconds of 
     thinking he finally gives in.

                                 PARKER
                    Fine.

     Ballard pats him on the back.

                                 BALLARD
                    Okay, good.

     The two begin to walk in. Ballard takes her hand off his 
     shoulder to reveal she has put a sign on his back that 
     reads: "I hate Black People.."

							       CUT TO:

     INT. BRIAN'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - SAME

     Brian is standing over the sink. In his hand is a large 
     butcher knife.

                                BRIAN
                    Screw that fancy shit. Might as 
                    well just get it done.

     He stands, ready to thrust it into this stomach.

                                BRIAN
                            (to himself)
                    Oh, man. This is going to hurt!

     Suddenly the FRONT DOOR opens and Brock steps in. He 
     quickly notices Brian.

                                BROCK
                    Brian?

     Brian quickly throws the knife to the other side.

                                BRIAN
                              (nervous)
                    BROWNIES! I was going to cut myself 
                    a brownie.

     He walks over to the stove, pretending not to notice 
     Brock. He finally looks over at him.

                                BRIAN
                    Oh, Brock. I did not see you come 
                    in.

                                BROCK
                            (suspicious)
                    Hi...

                                BRIAN
                    What brings you here?

                                BROCK
                    I brought over those sleeping pills 
                    you said your mother needed.

     Brock reaches into his pocket and pulls out a white 
     bottle. He tosses it to Brian.

                                BRIAN
                    Oh thanks.

     Brock, still suspicious, takes a few steps back toward 
     the door.

                                BROCK
                    Well...I'm going to head home...

                                BRIAN
                    All right.

     Awkward silence.

                                BROCK
                    Bye.

                                BRIAN
                    Bye.

     Brock leaves. Brian lets out a sigh of relief. He looks 
     over and sees the KNIFE has his a picture of himself 
     when he was six.

                                BRIAN
                    I can kill anyone and everything BUT 
                    myself!

                                                        CUT TO:

     INT. AUDITORIUM - MINUTES LATER

     The place now has pretty full of kids there are about 
     thirty different ones scattered around. Will and Ellen 
     stand Near the stage, talking. She begins to laugh about 
     something.

                                WILL
                    You know you could be a little 
                    nicer to me, considering I'm the 
                    new guy around here.

                                ELLEN
                    I'm sorry about that. I just use 
                    those kind of comments as a defense 
                    mechanism.

     Brief pause.

                                ELLEN
                    Ever been in a musical before?

                                WILL
                    Nope.

                                ELLEN
                    A play?

                                WILL
                    Nadda.

                                ELLEN
                    Talent show? Anything that requires
                    to be on a stage? 

                                WILL
                    Nothing off the top of my head.

     She smiles.

                                ELLEN
                    This should be interesting to watch.

                                WILL
                    I've only know you for like ten 
                    minutes and already you find my 
                    failure funny?  

                                ELLEN
                    I'm sorry, I was only joking.

                                WILL
                    Actually I'm surprised. People find 
                    my failure funnier and quicker then 
                    you did.

                                ELLEN
                    Well, I'm not people. I'm Ellen.

                                WILL
                    It's one zinger after another with 
                    you.

     Ellen shoots him a smile. Will begins to look around.

                                WILL
                    Well, aren't you going to introduce 
                    me around.

                                ELLEN
                    All right.

     Ellen looks around.

                                ELLEN
                    Okay, over there are the chorus 
                    slash background girls.

     Will looks over. In one corner of the auditorium there 
     are about fifteen girls all gathered around, laughing 
     and talking.

                                WILL
                             (amazed)
                    There's like...twelve of them.

                                ELLEN
                    Not to mention they're only in 
                    three scenes.

     She looks around.

                                ELLEN
                    That is Arthur Winchester. He plays 
                    Colonel Pickering.

     Will turns to another corner. In this corner we see 
     ARTHUR WINCHESTER. He's going got thin bright orange red 
     hair. He wears a pair of glasses. He roughly 5'6. He is 
     standing next to TWO OTHER BOYS. As he explains 
     something to him he moves around a lot.

                                WILL
                              (gasps)
                    I know him! He wore a Star Trek 
                    costume to school in eighth grade.

                                ELLEN
                    He's a bit...nerdy. But he's a 
                    really good guy.

     She looks around.

                                ELLEN
                    There's James Kelly. He's the lead.

     Will looks over to another corner. There stands JAMES 
     KELLY. Roughly six feet tall. Lots of muscle, good 
     looking. He's wearing a letterman's jacket while talking 
     to two girls.

     Will's mouth is wide open.

                                WILL
                    Holy fucking ass crackers.

                                ELLEN
                    I know. Great ain't it? A jock, a 
                    prep, AND a redneck all rolled into 
                    one.

                                WILL
                    Wait a minute. Isn't he the one who 
                    got in trouble for having sex with 
                    the Chinese exchange student Deb 
                    behind the belchers.

                                ELLEN
                    Yep. She went back to China and he 
                    got a week's probation.

                                WILL
                    Well that's what you get for 
                    sticking your fingers in the 
                    foreign cookie jar.

     She smiles.

                                ELLEN
                    It's kind of funny when you think 
                    about it. Out there, Arthur's a 
                    nerd, James' is a jock, and those 
                    girls are working on becoming white 
                    trash. But in here...no of it 
                    matters. We're all equal.

                                WILL
                    Oh, I see you're the thinkin' type.

                                ELLEN
                           (sarcastically)
                    Should I use smaller words?

                                WILL
                    Only if you plan on using big ones.

                                VOICE (O.S.)
                    Actors behind stage!

     Will and Ellen gather their things and begin to head 
     back. As most of the cast head toward behind the stage 
     we pan to the LEFT until we see the auditorium doors. 
     There stands Brock, who looks worried. He glances around 
     and spots Will. He begins to head toward him.

                                BROCK
                    Oh Will!

     INT. SHAKE SHOP - LATER (NIGHT)

     Casey, Joel, and Reicther are sitting around a table. 
     Casey is about to eat a spoon full of ice cream but he 
     misses as he tries to bite into it a little early. Joel 
     and Reicther are looking at him with a bit of confusion.

                                JOEL
                    Okay there, Casey?

                                CASEY
                    This eye thing is killing me. I've 
                    got not depth perception. I'm 
                    either not close enough to reach 
                    the water from the drinking 
                    fountain... 
                            (embarrassed)
                    ...or another incident with my 
                    girlfriend where I cam up short 
                    with something.

      Embarrassed, Casey quickly tries to take a drink from 
      his cup. But he misses and the straw pokes him in the 
      cheek. He sighs.

      Chris enters the building. He is wearing sunglasses. He 
      comes over and sits next to Casey. Everyone looks at 
      him.

                                REICTHER
                    Why are you wearing sunglasses at 
                    night?

                                CHRIS
                    Oh...uh...No reason...had an 
                    accident and got a black eye.

                                REICTHER
                    Really?

                                CHRIS
                    Yep.

                                REICTHER
                    What was the accident.

     Chris freezes.

                                CHRIS
                    Uh...I tripped...and, uh...landed 
                    on a baseball.

     They all give him a strange look.

                                JOEL
                    Their was a baseball on your floor?

                                CHRIS
                    Yeah...
                         (after another look)
                    So what brings us here tonight?

     We hear the door bell ring. Will and Brock enter.

                                WILL
                    I can answer that guys.

     They come over and sit down beside them.

                                JOEL
                    What's up?

                                WILL
                    All right guys. Brock has brought 
                    something to my attention. 
                    Apparently...Brian tried to kill 
                    himself today.

                                CASEY
                    What? How?

                                BROCK
                    Well it looked like he was about to 
                    stab himself in the stomach.

                                WILL
                    Plus he asked Brian for some 
                    sleeping pills.

                                REICTHER
                    Did you give him the pills?

                                BROCK
                    Yeah. But I was suspicious so I 
                    filled it with vitamins and birth 
                    control pills.

                                REICTHER
                              (sarcastic)
                    Nice thinking, Columbo.

                                WILL
                    Look. We have a serious problem 
                    here. One of our own is trying to 
                    kill himself.

                                CHRIS
                    Would should we do?

                                WILL
                    Well me and Brock were thinking 
                    that since his mom and Stacy are 
                    out of town for the weekend we 
                    thought of forming a suicide watch.

                                CASEY 
                    Suicide watch?

                                WILL
                    Well, basically take turns watching 
                    him. Making sure he doesn't kill 
                    himself.

                                REICTHER
                    I don't know. That sounds like 
                    fancy talk for babysitting.

                                CASEY
                    Do we need anything?

                                WILL
                    Just some duct tape.

                                REICTHER
                    Are we going to go over there later?

                                WILL
                    Nope, now.

                                CHRIS
                    Now?

                                WILL
                    Yeah. We've got to stop him. Who 
                    knows what he may try.

     There's a pause. There seems to be an odd feeling in the 
     room. Everyone seems to have expressions of confusion, 
     intrigue, and sadness.

                               REICTHER
                    Meh. Let's have ourselves a good 
                    old fashioned suicide watch.

     Everyone either nods or says something in agreement. 
     They all begin to stand and head toward the door. They 
     leave. We stay, and focus on their now empty table 
     before slowly we...             

                                                        FADE OUT.
                           
                            END OF EPISODE

                    
                    



Return to Simply Scripts