Harley Quinn: Fall of Innocence

Alexander Combs

Enter on a young woman walking down a hallway, an older more veteran woman steps in line with her.

Older Woman: You must be Dr. Harleen Quinzell?

Harley: Yes, Dr. Young.

Dr. Young: I was just reading your file, graduated top of your class at Gotham University. Credentials that could have easily gotten you a job at any other high level asylum, still you chose Arkham? We have a different class of psychotics here, not exactly anything you have learned about in any book.

Harley: Exactly the reason I turned down  Sunny Dale and all the other easy ones. I’ve always loved a challenge.

Dr. Young: Well you’ll sure as hell get that in here, sweetheart. Now I wanted to give you a brief on your first patient, Pamela Isley. You might know her better as Poison Ivy. She was a brilliant botanist working on a garden based chemical experiment, when she began questioning the legitimacy of the practice she….

Harley: (Interrupting) She killed a few people, yada yada yada.

Dr. Young: Dr. Quinzell, I understand your background has given you the false idea that you are an invulnerable genius. However, in here you can’t afford to get complacent these are hard core psychotics not your run of the mill loony tunes.  A few patients would soon as eat you as greet you. Always understand and never forget they will kill you if given the chance; including “Ms. Yada Yada Yada.”

Harley: I understand doctor. I, however, don’t believe she’s enough of a challenge for me.

Dr. Young: I’m sorry dear; you don’t get to choose your patients. Just for curiosity’s sake who did you have in mind?

Harley: The Joker.

Dr. Young: I don’t foresee that ever being an option. I hope you enjoy your time here, Dr. Quinzell. (Dr. Young exits)

Harley: We'll see.  One more thing doc; call me Harley, everyone does. 

-          Title sequence-

-          Focus on an interrogation room. Harleen Quinzell is seated at one end staring at an empty chair on the other side. Enter a burly security guard leading a beautiful woman with flowing red hair and pale green skin. He directs her to the chair opposite Harley.

Guard: She’s all yours, Dr. Q

-          Focus on Harley’s polished fingernails (red and black). She turns on a tape recorder and looks up at Ivy.

Harley: Interview session one, patient 10995632, Pamela Lillian Isley. Alias: Poison Ivy.  Harleen Quinzell MD. Now Ms. Isley would you mind telling me why you believe you’re in here?

Ivy:  I don’t know, Darling. Why do you think I’m in here?

Harley: You tell me.

Ivy: Fine I’ll play along. I was a botanist at Gotham University. My partner and I were working very closely on a project involving plant based chemicals. We had completed our research and were about to begin the experiment stage when the dean cut our funding. I’m still not quite sure of the reason but Jason; Dr. Woodrow rather, blamed me.  He attacked me one night; injecting me with some toxin.  He thought it had killed me; instead it gave me some quite amazing special gifts. At the time I thought he had poisoned me but you can read my file to discover what really came about.

Harley: Toxic kiss, green skin, pheromones all the traits of a plant, mind control. I know as you mentioned I have your file.

Ivy:  Excellent work darling, glad they pay you the big bucks. Anyway, I exacted my revenge on Jason and his research team and then I turned on the Dean. He crumbled so easily; men. Somehow the powers that be considered me a danger to myself and others and I wound up in here. You know they kept me in a dehydration chambers with no light or heat.

-          Harley turns off the recording device-

Harley: Look this is all terribly interesting, but I needed to ask you a question; off the record.

Ivy: And I thought you were just another pencil pusher in heels.

Harley: How do I access the Joker?

Ivy: You are something…..if I help you what do I get in return?

Harley: A present next interview now make with the details.

Ivy: He resides in the same block as me. You don’t seem to have a problem with off the record so you just need to sneak into the maximum security wing tonight.

Harley: Fine.

Ivy: Any other off the record questions?

Harley: You’re a stepping stone. I don’t think you need to be here, and this is a waste of both our time.

Ivy: I concur. Am I free to go?

Harley: (turns on the device) I think to form a deep understanding of you I needed to know your past Ms. Isley. You have been quite cooperative. I believe that we have reached the end of this session. Guard! (Shuts off the device and smiles)

-          Guard enters and takes Ivy away. Harley collects her files and the tape and heads to her office, just as she turns into the hall, Dr. Young comes up to her.

Dr. Young: How was your first session? Was she as simple as you thought?

Harley: Simpler. I need more of a challenge!

Dr. Young: I’m sorry no one else is available. Dr. Strange has the Riddler. Dr. Grayson has the Scarecrow and Dr. Heath has the Joker.

Harley: And Dr. Young has Mr. Zaaz, yes Penny I can read the board as easily as you can.

Dr. Young: Dr. Quinzell you are out of line.

Harley: (Opens her door) No, Dr. Young. I’m in my office (slams the door in her face)

-          Harley goes to flip on the lamp sitting on her desk when she notices a single rose lying on her table. It has a note snaked around the stem.

-          The note reads: Heard you’ve been asking around for me. Come down and see me when you get a chance. Love and Kisses Mr. J.

-          Harley holds the rose until little blood droplets begin seeping out of her fist.

Harley: Mr. J (She smiles)

-          Cut to a sleeping guard seated outside of the Maximum Security wing doors.  Harley sneaks through the doors and grabs the keycard off of the desk. She kisses the guard as she bounces through the gate. She steps down stone steps that lead her into a hallway with glass cells lining the walls. In the first one she passes POISON IVY is doodling flowers on her wall. In the next one over THE SCARECROW is lying on his cot staring at Harley.  The next over is THE PENGUIN finishing up the last of his dinner. The cell adjacent to the one Harley is headed to, THE RIDDLER doing a crossword puzzle with a green marker. Finally she reaches the JOKER in the cell at the far end of the hall. He’s standing as if waiting for her.

Joker: Oh look ma! She came, you were right roses do make a girl feel wanted.

Harley: Joker, I was right in assuming the flower was from you?

Joker: Who else in here is Mr. J?

Harley: No one I suppose. How might I ask did you get out of your cell?

Joker: My story to tell later (He smiles) so I hear you been asking ole’ Youngster about taking over my therapy. I also know she doesn’t think you can handle me. I might be too big for your first time.

Harley: Are you always telling jokes?

Joker: It’s my name, duh! Speaking of names I really love yours.

Harley: Thank you.

Joker:  Harleen Quinzell, rework it a bit and you get Harley Quinn. Has a fabulous ring to it doesn’t it.  It’s almost like we were meant to be.

Harley: Harley Quinn, like the clown character Harlequin, I’ve noticed the similarities.

Joker: It fits you too.  You’re beautiful and painted on the outside, yet twisted and complex on the inside. Now we just need to find a way to let the monster out of its cage. A way to free yourself from the character you portray

Harley:  Enough about me!  I want to know about you.

Joker: This is only the sneak peek honey. You can’t have the full experience until Heath is out of the picture. You’re his understudy. 

Harley: I didn’t get where I am never fighting for what I want.

Joker: There she is! I knew we could find her. You’re nothing like them….you’re just like me.

Harley: I think I’ve had enough for tonight. I need to get back.

Joker: How do you like my humble abode? Very Hannibal Lecter wouldn’t you say?

Harley: I suppose so; I need to be going now.

Joker: Fly away little Harley, fly fly fly.

-          Harley begins walking back upstairs, when she hears Ivy whispering to her-

Ivy- He’s right you know. You really are one of us. Don’t pretend you’re not.

-          Harley turns and runs up the stairs beginning to cry as she runs past the guard.

-          Harley again is sitting at the interrogation table. She looks disheveled. Her blonde hair is down. Her make-up is over done to conceal the tear stains. The guard again brings in Poison Ivy. He leaves her in the same seat and leaves.

Harley: Interview Session 2, with Patient 10995632, Pamela Lillian Isley. Alias: Poison Ivy.  Harleen Quinzell MD.

Ivy: You look tired doctor. (She motions to the recording device)

Harley: (Turns it off) what do you want?

Ivy: I believe you promised a present.

Harley: And so I got you something as promised. (She digs under the table until she extracts a mini garden)

Ivy: Don’t patronize me Harley.

Harley: I’m not, the gift will reflect the relevancy of the information you give me.

Ivy: What do I have to do to gain early freedom?

Harley: Kill Andrew Heath.

Ivy: Wow, it seems like the conversation did hit you pretty hard.

Harley: I can’t explain it. I have to talk to the Joker.

Ivy: You really are quite interesting….You have got a deal. One condition, you have to be there when I do it. I have a feeling you’re going to need to be desensitized to that particular act.

Harley: I accept the condition. He has to work late on Wednesday. I’ll let you out of the cell, I’ll shut down all cameras and we’ll do it in his office.

Ivy: Something tells me, darling, you didn’t just come up with this plan.

Harley: I don’t know what you mean (as Ivy is about to speak, Harley turns on the device) Now tell me Ms. Isley, what was your mother like?

 

Cut to Harley at her desk Wednesday night.  She is thumbing through the general file on the Joker. She smiles as she flips through the pages. She hears a knock at her door. She rises and answers it. It’s Dr. Young.

Dr. Young: I’m heading out. Andrew is in his office if you need anything. Harley, do you mind if we talk?

Harley: I’m kinda in the middle of something.

Dr. Young: I understand, I just wanted to apologize I think we got off on the wrong foot and I wanted to start a new. I know you have talent; I just think you’re a little too new to handle someone as big as the Joker. I hope you understand.

Harley: I understand.

Dr. Young: Look how about this; give it a couple of weeks and I’ll talk to Andrew about switching patients. Get your feet wet first sweetie. Have a good night, don’t work too late.

Harley: Thank you, I won’t.

-          She closes the door and looks at the clock-

Harley: What a bitch.

-          She grabs a leather coat and clown mask out of the closet and heads down to the security mainframe. As usual the guard is asleep; she hits the cell open button just long enough for Ivy to escape. She runs up the stairs to Harley and together they make their way down the hallway.

Harley: After you’re done, you’re free to leave.

Ivy: I have a feeling I may want to stick around….

Harley: Whatever you choose, I’m grateful for you doing this.

-          The two women enter the office of Andrew Heath, who also is asleep at his desk. Ivy goes up to him and drags him over his desk. Shocking him awake.

Ivy: Hello Andrew, Having a productive evening? Pornography on the computer and in a heavy sleep, It’s no wonder the Joker is as crazy as ever.

Dr. Heath: How the hell did you get out of your cell you crazy bitch?!

(From behind Ivy) Harley: Now that’s no way to speak to a lady.

Dr. Heath: Who the hell are you?

Harley: My story to tell later. Just call me Harley Quinn.

Dr. Heath: Dr. Quinzell. Penny said you were insane. I didn’t know you were suicidal too! I will crucify you! You pathetic worthless stuck up little cu- (Harley grabs a letter opener off of his desk and stabs him in the chest)

Harley: Now Andrew, Know that you will die tonight. But it’s up to you how long that will take. If you sign over the Joker to me, I’ll slit your wrist and you’ll bleed out in less than 3 minutes. If you don’t sign it immediately my associate here will inflict a myriad of injuries on you and then you’ll sign. It’s up to you baby. Ivy, begin writing the suicide note, I have a feeling this chauvinist pig is going to give me what I want.

-          Ivy hands Harley a “patient transfer form” and begins writing a note-

Harley: (Handing the document to Andrew) Here you go baby, sign and be happy. (She throws him a ball point pen) Make the right choice.

-          Andrew with his dying strength attempts to stab Harley in the leg. She spins around and jams the heel of her boot into his left wrist. He screams in pain.

Harley: Sign it or I jam this goddamn heel through the bone! (He signs the form; Harley pulls out her heel and throws the completed suicide note at him) Go to hell (She slits his right wrist leaving the bloody letter opener in his hand and she and Ivy exit the room)

-          Cut to Harley and Ivy walking down the hallway again. Ivy is staring dumbfounded at Harley who is smiling from bloodstained ear to bloodstained ear-

Ivy: What the hell was that!?

Harley: Andrew signing over the Joker to me, just like we planned.

Ivy: No the plan was I make him sign and then kiss him you just stay behind and watch. Nowhere was it planned for you to go psycho killer on his ass!

Harley: The only thing that matters is that the Joker is mine, Andrew is dead and you are free. The rest are just semantics.

Ivy: Semantics!! You mutilated a man with a letter opener and a pair of expensive, now ruined, stilettos.

Harley: You’re a killer too, missy! Don’t act all innocent with me. Don’t get it twisted I’m the doctor and you’re the patient.

Ivy:  You’re Dr. Mengele!

Harley: Whatever you want to call it…. (Ivy turns to go back to her wing) Where are you going?

Ivy: The deal was I kill Andrew Heath and then I gain freedom. Since all I did was write a note, I don’t think that qualifies. To be honest if that’s what you did to get to the Joker, I can’t wait to see what you’ll do after.  Goodnight, Dr. Quinzell.

Harley: Goodnight Ms. Isley (Harley takes off her clown mask and smiles in Ivy’s direction. Then she heads out the door and gets into her car.)

 

-          Cut to the next morning-

-          Harley pulls up to the asylum which is being flooded by cops and reporters. Dr. Young is standing in the doorway crying trying to give a statement.

Dr. Young: Dr. Andrew Heath was a fine man and an amazing doctor who has made breakthroughs with some of our most troubled patients. We were so blinded by his success that we never noticed he too was a troubled individual. It is true that late last night after every other doctor had gone home for the evening… (She begins crying) Dr. Heath took his own life. Does anyone have any questions?

-          A perky young reporter jams a microphone in Dr. Young’s face-

Summer- Summer Gleason here from the show “It’s always Summer in Gotham”; I just have a few quick questions. Firstly if this is such a highly rated asylum filled with psychiatrists and emotional experts, how is it that Dr. Heath’s condition went unnoticed?

-          Harley runs to Dr. Young’s rescue-

Harley: Just like in any job you become friends with your co-workers. We never pointed our high powered perceptions at him; maybe we should have after all. Now if you’ll excuse us we still have mountains of patients to attend to. Thank you for your concern.

Summer: And who are you, may I ask?

Harley: I’m Dr. Harleen Quinzell. Right now however, I’m “Pissed Off”, if you keep asking questions maybe I’ll have another identity crisis and become “Go to hell bitch”.

Summer: Such fire and attitude! Dr. Quinzell! Dr. Quinzell! (Harley and Dr. Young disappear into the cavernous asylum)

Dr. Young: Thanks, I’m terrible with dealing with reporters. Normally I would be worried about that getting us bad publicity. But I think it’s about as bad as it can get.

Harley: Could be worse. We could have had a mass breakout.

Dr. Young: I seriously misjudged you. Andrew left this with his (sniffles) suicide note (Hands Harley an envelope with her name and a blood stain on the front)

Harley: (opens the envelope) the transfer papers for the Joker! He says “In death he’s glad he could grant a wish, don’t disappoint Penny”. 

Dr. Young: I’ll schedule a meeting this afternoon between the two of you. Harleen, listen to me you can’t get too comfortable. I’m leery of this but, its Andy’s last wish. I’ll send over all of the Joker documentation and Andrew’s tapes in a few minutes.  Harley, I’m so glad you chose to come here. You have much such an impact.

Harley: Thank you, Penny. I just wish my success came at a lesser price.

Dr. Young: I know what you mean; He was always such a sweet, gentle man.

Harley: I wish had been able to know him better.

Dr. Young: As do I.

Harley: I’m going to go to my office. If you need anything, come get me.

Dr. Young: I’ll send Dr. Strange over with the information in a few minutes.

Harley: Thank you again. You’ll be alright, Penny. We all will.

(Harley exits leaving Dr. Young crying at the doorway)

Harley: (To herself) if I hadn’t gotten what I wanted, I might feel terrible. (She goes to the television set adjacent to her desk and flips it on. A full screen video of herself screaming at Summer Gleason reflects back at her)

Summer: (on TV) Dr. Harleen Quinzell, 1st year psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum, seemed less than down about the mysterious suicide of her supposed friend and co-worker. Maybe Dr. Heath’s suicide warrants more investigation and Dr. Quinzell deserves deeper scrutiny. This is Summer Gleason reminding Gotham even in the dark times its always Summer.

-          As Harley is about the throw a glass through the TV, Dr. HUGO STRANGE walks in drowning in files and paperwork.

Hugo: Murder, right. That Summer Gleason chick always makes things worse. She can’t tell mourning when she sees it. Maybe we should interview her and see what makes her tick.

Harley: Are those the Joker files?

Hugo: Yes Ma’am. We have every session any doctor has ever held. No more “bumping the recorder” if you catch my drift. We need everything he says and does for later study.

Harley: Excellent, and Hugo, close the door on your way out.

Hugo: Yes Ma’am. It’s so great having a pretty… (She interrupts him)

Harley: That’ll be all Hugo, please leave.

(Hugo exits)

Harley: I need a fucking death list.  There are just too many idiots here.

-          Cut to hallway before Joker Session number 1-

-          Dr. Young and Harley are standing outside the door-

Dr. Young: Now Harley you need to understand that he is our most dangerous patient. You need to put up barriers so he can’t get into your mind. His last doctor before Andy was Jonathon Crane, better known as

Harley: The Scarecrow

Dr. Young: Exactly. I don’t have the budget for a new you so please don’t let him turn your brain into putty. Please for the love of God; be careful Harley.

Harley: I will Penny. Don’t worry I know what I’m doing.

-          Cut to Harley sitting at the now all familiar interrogation table eagerly awaiting the Joker’s arrival. The guard comes and throws him in Ivy’s chair.-

Guard: He’s all yours, Dr. Q. I’m right outside if you need me.

Harley: Thanks, Patrick. I think we’ll be fine, won’t we?

Joker: A-Okay. Patty Boy.

-          Patrick exits. Harley turns on the recording tape.-

Harley: Interview Session one. Patient 0000934123, name unknown, a.k.a. Joker, shall be referred to as “Mr. J”. Dr. Harleen Quinzell M.D.

Joker: What a sweet little moniker.

Harley: Yes, now Mr. J, tell me what your first memory is?

Joker: Laying eyes on the most beautiful little lady ever to come down a hallway.

Harley: Oh Mr. J! I mean “That is completely uncalled for”.

(She makes a “kissy face” at him)

Joker: Alright all business. My first memory was when my dad took me to the circus. I remember seeing the clowns all making people laugh. They even got Dad. When this scrawny little one dropped his pants I thought Dad was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. The next day when Dad came home from work I ran to greet him wearing his best Sunday slacks. I gave him a hug did a tumble and tore the seat out of the pants. Then he dragged me inside and stuck a knife in my mouth. He said “If you want be a clown. Yuck it up Bozo. Here you go all clowns have to have a smile right.” Then he slit my mouth from ear to ear.  I learned a very important lesson that day.

Harley: What was that?

Joker: Comedy has always gotta hurt! (Laughs hysterically)

Harley: You poor creature.

Joker: Don’t pity me!

Harley: I’m not. Next question “Do you remember your first kill?”

Joker: Of course, it was the very next week. Dad was lying back in his favorite chair; He had a half drunk fifth beer in his hand. I came up to him, my mouth still oozing from his attack. I had a butcher knife in my hand behind my back he asked “What the fuck do you want?” I smiled and said “Just Clownin’ around” Then I took the knife, put it in his mouth and pushed. I rubbed my finger in the blood and slid it across my cuts. I was only 8 years old when I took my first life. The very man who gave me: mine… His… Mine….Ours.

Harley: I see, I think that might be all we have time for today.

Joker: You’re not scared of me.

Harley: No, I suppose you’re right.

Joker: You’re afraid of yourself.

Harley: I don’t want to talk about me.

Joker: I do (he clicks off the recording) Ivy told us what happened in Heath’s office. She told us the joy you felt when his blood splashed on your face. She told us how big your smile got when you jammed your heel into him. Above all else; she told us how excited you were when you knew he was dead. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. (He leans over the table and kisses her deeply, she reciprocates)

Harley: Oh Mistah J! Oh wow….um well I think that really is all we have time for today.

Joker: I told you, you weren’t like them. I meant it. Harleen Quinzell is dying. I’ll be waiting when you’re ready to get rid of her, Harley Quinn.

Harley: I mean it Joker, that’s all the time we have! Guard!

-          Patrick enters and takes the Joker away. Harley waits until they’re gone to begin crying into her hands. She looks at the mirror on the wall, she walks over to it. She takes her red pen and draws a smile mimicking the Joker’s on her reflection. She adds her own real smile.

Harley (to her reflection): The bitch is already dead. (She begins laughing maniacally)

-          Harley exits the asylum in a wicked daze and goes to her car and drives off.

-          Cut to Harley’s office at the end of the day –

-          Dr. Young enters and goes over to Harley

Dr. Young: How did it go today?

Harley: Fine

Dr. Young: Can I see the tape?

Harley: Why?

Dr. Young: I’m your boss, I don’t have to explain.

Harley: I don’t have it accessible right now.

Dr. Young: Dr. Quinzell! If you don’t give me that damn tape right now I’ll fire you and have you arrested for tampering with evidence.

-          Harley grabs the lamp off her desk and swings it across Dr. Young’s face. As she does this she laughs maniacally again. Dr. Young lies on the floor bleeding all over Harley’s carpet.

Harley: You know Penny I always thought you were such an insufferable bitch. Right before I ripped dear sweet perverse Andy’s veins out he told me how you thought of me! (Harley swings the lamp again) You thought I was insane! I’m completely sane honey; The Joker is just the only one who understands me! (Harley swings the lamp again) Maybe you freaks are the psychos and Mr. J is the sane one!

Dr. Young: Quinzell…… (Harley swings the lamp one last time)

Harley: Harleen Quinzell is dead! There is only Harley Quinn!!!!!

-          Harley rips off her lab coat revealing a red and black bustier corset and red and black skirt, red and black high heels and fishnets. She looks in the mirror and it’s revealed her face is painted white. She dips her finger in Dr. Young’s blood and smears it on her lips. She finally pulls her hair up in pigtails. She grabs a large oversized gun out of her desk drawer. She goes to her closet and grabs a bottle of “stress” whiskey and pours it over her office. She opens the door and lights a match and throws it in. She slams the door as the fire inside grows. She skips down to the maximum security wing. As she enters she aims the gun at the guard and shoots. She grabs his keycard. She skips down the stairs sliding open the cells as she goes until she gets to the Joker, she shoots the glass out.

Harley: Hey Puddin’! I killed her (Laughs evilly)

Joker: There’s my girl! Let’s blow this Popsicle stand!

Harley: Anything you say, Mistah J!

Joker:  What’s the smell? (Smoke)

Harley: The Punchline! (Grabs him and pulls him out of the cell) Ivy let’s go!

Ivy: Well hello, Harley!

Harley: We’ll have time for obvious statement s later! Right now we need to get the hell out of here!

Ivy: Whatever let’s move!

-          The three villains run up the stairs where the Arkham guards are waiting. Joker looks at Ivy who goes to kiss the one on the end. Harley rolls her eyes and shoots each of them.  The three run through the burning asylum, you see inmates and doctors alike burning as they’re running through. Hugo Strange tries to stop them. 

Strange: Harleen!? What the hell is going on? JOKER!? POISON IVY?!  

Harley: And Harley Quinn makes three Hugo Baby! (Shoots Strange in the shoulder not fatally, with a happy giggle)

Joker, Harley and Ivy run through the open doors. They all pile in Harley’s car. Riddler and Scarecrow are seen running down the hill.

 

-          Cut to Inside Harley’s car-

-          Joker is in the passenger’s seat, Ivy stretched out in the backseat. Harley driving-

Joker: I love the new look, baby!

Harley: Hee hee thanks Mistah J.

 Ivy:  Ok, so I have to ask. Where are we going?

Harley: You’ll see. (She smiles wickedly as she looks back at her.

-          The car pulls up to an old run down factory. Harley leans behind her to face Ivy-

Harley:  Ok, Red. Here’s the plan Mistah J and I need to work out some things upstairs. While we’re up there call the boys and set up a meeting here for tomorrow night. Gots to go; loves ya!

Ivy: Harley, wait. I know you think you can handle the Joker alone, given what I’ve seen you do I have no doubt, but please don’t let him manipulate you anymore than he already has.

Harley: Yea, Yea I hear ya. Another yahoo that thinks Mistah J’s not good enough for me.

-          Foreman’s office nighttime-

Harley: So how do you like the new place, Puddin?

Joker: It’s doable.

Harley: Aww what’s wrong with my big stwong man?

Joker: I can’t get past the idea that you did what we never could. You escaped Arkham permanently; the Batman doesn’t even know who you are. You already have connections, I don’t know I’m feeling a little outdated.  This town needs a better class of criminal, and together we’ll give it to them!

Harley: Uh huh. Excluding the fact that I was never locked up?

Joker: The more I think about it you really will be no match for Batman after all.

Harley: Look Mistah J, I’ve thought this through, the problem you and the others have is you’re greedy. You want the shiny things but you also want the Bat dead. Has it ever occurred to you, you can’t have both?

Joker: I don’t want the Bat dead. Without Batman there is no Joker. Without Joker there is no Batman.

Harley: Without Joker there is no Harley Quinn.

Joker: Exactly. See, by making Gotham so chaotic we create an orderly cycle. It’s through chaos that we create order and from order we create glorious chaos. You my dear are the outcome of chaos.

Harley: And that makes you?

Joker: The center point of the cycle itself.

Harley: Screw chaos! You have no actual goals. 

Joker: Don’t get sassy with me little girl. I played with you solely because it amused me to do so. Don’t get it twisted; you’re still playing second banana to the best.

Harley: For now.

Joker: Little Harley Quinn gets a spine, snubs a few doctors and BAM! She’s little miss criminal mastermind isn’t she?

Harley: Watch yourself clown!

Joker: Where would she be without her precious friends and all those that wait on her hand and foot? You’re not a mastermind; you’re a prissy little princess with a psycho streak!

Harley: I wonder who could have taught me that, hmmm?! (Joker punches her in the face)

Joker: Who the hell do you think you are!

Harley: Do you know what happened to the last man that talked to me like that? He met the business ends of my designer boots! I know who the hell I am, I’m beginning to wonder if you know who you are!

Joker: Oh now pooh, let’s not fight. It’s our first night together….come on, let’s put a smile on that face!

Harley: Just a second, Puddin. I’ll get us a drink; be right back (she kisses his cheek)

-          She exits, enter Ivy.

Ivy: Joker, she may not see what you’re doing but I do.

Joker: Oh, Pammy. Don’t worry yourself over nothing; really, we were just having a bit of fun.

Ivy: Let me warn you one last time. She is dangerous, not saying you’re a doped up puppy yourself, but she’s smarter than you. If you treat her like dirt, she’ll put you six feet under.

Joker: (Laughs) Oh how cute the girls stick together. Pam, she’s got you tricked, she couldn’t take me on if she tried, and she’s got a nice shiner to prove it too.

Ivy: You’re skating on thin ice; mess with her she’ll push you under.

Joker: Really, do you just come up with these sayings or do you plan them before you come in?

-          Harley comes in with a tray loaded with two glasses, a bottle of brandy, ice and an ice pick-

Harley: Hey Red. Any luck setting the meeting.

Ivy: They’ll be here shortly; I’ll keep them busy until you both are ready

-          Ivy exits and Harley sets her tray on the desk and begins stabbing the ice for their drinks-

Joker: You know sweets; this could be a pretty good thing, the two of us. You’re brains and my muscle we could clip the ivy and still take Gotham by storm.

Harley: I think the Ivy adds a much needed element of green to this town.

-          She pours the drinks and resets the tray-

Harley: You know when I was downstairs I was thinking about what you said about the better class of criminal.

Joker: What about it?

-          She hands him his drink then goes behind him to give him a back massage-

Harley: You know, Mistah J, when you look at a picture long enough it can become anything you want it to. But look at it too long and you lose sight of what you were looking for in the first place. You’re a thorn in Batman's side, but what Gotham really needs is to have someone with a vision. Someone young, focused, intelligent. Someone determined (She goes behind the couch where the Joker is lounging, she has an ice pick in her hand from a brandy tray on the desk on the other side of the room) Someone with her; i mean their eyes on the prize. (She is now directly behind him) Someone like me! (She brings the ice pick down in his chest). Look, Puddin' I always thought you would be an excellent subject for my fascination. But I began realizing something, I don't need a teacher. I need an audience and a purpose, something I’m sorry baby you'd just get in the way of. (She stabs him again) You did good darling, but sometimes it takes a woman to do what a man never can. (She stabs him in the throat) Don't forget to smile Puddin.

-          She looks at the body-

Harley: Such a waste, I loved his sense of humor. Oh well!

-          She goes to the window behind the desk, opens it and looks out at the waterfront. She shrugs her shoulders and grabs his body and throws him out the window. She goes into the bathroom and washes the blood off of her hands and fixes her hair. She grabs her glass and takes a swig then throws that out the window as well. She opens the door and heads downstairs to the meeting.

-          Harley enters a conference room where Ivy, Scarecrow and Riddler are seated. Each has a similar puzzled expression on his or her face.  Harley goes to the high back chair at the end of the table and seats herself with her feet propped up on the table.

Scarecrow: Should we start without Joker?

Ivy: I have a feeling if we did, we would be here forever, am I right Harley?

Harley: Eh, I don’t concern myself with the little things.

Riddler: Look, we all appreciate you breaking us out, but I hope you understand none of us are ready to believe you have what it takes to run a crime syndicate.

Ivy: Speak for yourself, you over grown grammar book.

Riddler: I speak for you to Ivy. Even you have more experience than this lunatic.

Harley: You’re one to talk. Either way, Edward has a point. I’ve never knocked over a children’s toy store or a garden shop. However, I have never been apprehended by Batman either.

Riddler: You’ve never had the opportunity.

Harley: Let’s not forget that I set Arkham ablaze; freed Gotham’s most dangerous criminals and I killed the worst of them all. (Looks at Ivy)  It’s justified, like offing the Wicked Witch of the West.

Scarecrow: No one is arguing your ability to be a mass murderess….we are simply pointing out the fact that there are others in this room with more experience.

Harley: I understand, but who has thwarted your genius plans in the past?

All: Batman

Harley: Who have you yet to defeat?

All: Batman…..

Harley: Who has yet to face him?

All: You.

Harley: Exactly, now do you see where this is going. All of us possess equally stunning talents. You Ivy; You have the power to make men fall to their knees. You can control them and even the ground they walk on. Riddler; you can set the most remarkable traps and leave the most unsolvable clues attached. Scarecrow, you always had a brain, now you have the chemical warfare to prove it.

Scarecrow: And you?

Harley: I have the brains, the youth, the conspicuity, the ambition to succeed where the Joker failed. And that my dear friends, is why I propose an alliance.

Scarecrow: I’m with you for now.

Ivy: You’ve got it sister.

Riddler: You screw up once and you’re worm food.

Harley: I accept those terms, Lady and Gentlemen. The Bat is as good as dead!  And now for the plan (Show montage as she explains the conditions) Ivy you and Dr. Crane will release both your plant gas and his fear gas into the ventilation chambers of Blackgate prison. Our dear brothers and sisters have been transported there quite recently. We free any and every one, throwing Gotham into complete chaos.  As Batman scrambles to stop each of the crimes we start leaving inconspicuous clues done by Mr. Enigma himself.  We will lead him here, string him up, and drop him in a vat of chemicals. I love the symmetry.

 Riddler: Can you say cliché?

Harley: Can you say castration?

Riddler: I’ll be good.

Harley: Any other outbursts?

Riddler: Nope.

Harley: Do as I say?

Riddler: Don’t push it toots.

Ivy: Stop fighting!

Scarecrow: If you’re quite finished?

Ivy: Get to the point.

Harley: Patience. Please! I understand your insecurities but please understand my reasoning.  We have mere hours to enjoy exile. Tomorrow night, we take Gotham by storm! It’s our time!

-          Gotham streets/ night-

-          A woman is standing in front of a store window. She looks depressed. Behind her people happily rush around her. She checks her phone and walks in. As she does an explosion erupts in a shop adjacent to her. She turns to face the explosion and sees a woman dressed like a clown, Poison Ivy, Riddler and Scarecrow standing on top of the rubble. The woman grabs her purse and smirks. Above her the bat symbol shines bright. Harley steps down with a mega phone pressed against her lips.

Harley: Citizens of Gotham! The circus has arrived see the amazing plant woman she can make all your nightmares come true! (Ivy blows a kiss at a group of men cowering in the alley) See the confounding conundrum man of puzzles, Think you can outsmart him? Take a shot! I am your host Harley Quinn, Gotham welcome to your destruction!!

-          Behind Harley a swarm of various criminals rush in front of her. The woman in front of the shop window slips behind the alley, she runs behind the buildings as Batman swoops over the city. He stops in the middle of a gaggle of goons. He begins fighting as Scarecrow appears behind him and attempts to gas him. Batman turns and faces him and attempts to grab the gas wire. As he does Ivy slaps a vine on his arm. She turns and tries to kiss him as she does a booted foot slams into her jaw. Catwoman is finally visible; she has a skin tight suit unzipped a few inches to reveal a little cleavage. Her mask is typical for Catwoman, with green goggles.

Catwoman: You know if you were counting on not getting hit because you’re a girl, think again sister.

Ivy: Who are you supposed to be; Bat-Bitch?

Catwoman: I wouldn’t worry about the name, worry about the woman it’s attached to!

-          The two women begin trading punches as Batman comes too. He has been surrounded by Scarecrow and the Blackgate prisoners. He attempts to get up and Scarecrow attempts to gas him again. Catwoman throws Ivy off her and runs to help Batman. She whips the Scarecrow’s hands before he can spew anymore of the chemical she snaps her whip back and stares him down. He sends his goons after her and he and Ivy sneak back into the crowd and disappear. Harley and Riddler never joined the fray just skulked around the outskirts. Batman has yet to see her. Catwoman fights off her attackers and goes to help Batman up. She drags him behind an alley and leans him against a wall.

Catwoman: Come on Bats. He didn’t hit you that hard?

Batman: (as he awakens) who are you?

Catwoman: as of now not the most important information. You can call me Catwoman.

Batman: what are you doing here?

Catwoman: Gotham is too big a hell hole for just one good soul.

Batman: You haven’t been here very long have you?

Catwoman: Been here long enough to know any place run by a crazy clown is not a safe place.

Batman: I didn’t see Joker….Usually he’ll be the first to attack.

Catwoman: He?

Batman: You said crazy clown. Cheap purple suit, make up, green hair…

Catwoman: This was a woman. Said her name was Harley something.

Batman: Maybe it is better to have someone help out. If you aren’t careful, you could be killed.

Catwoman: Don’t underestimate my nine lives. Nothing is ever as it seems.

Batman: Welcome aboard.

-          The warehouse-

-          Harley is lying on the couch in her office with Ivy behind the desk and Riddler and Scarecrow leaning on the walls. They all look angry and defeated.

Harley: He’s one man, we’re four of the deadliest human beings…with a 100 bloodthirsty lunatics how did he stop you?!

Ivy: It wasn’t just him, there was a woman.

Harley: A woman?! Just some woman!?

Scarecrow: He has muscle now. She’s the reason we failed.

Harley: Great you had such confidence but throw in some pissed off housewife and you all turn into pussies. Fine we’ll a figure a way to get rid of her alone, and then we go for the Bat.

Ivy: You know Harley, maybe we should stop while we’re ahead.

Riddler: We’ve already succeeded where others have failed; we got through a fight with the Batman and didn’t end up in Arkham.

Harley: You call this ahead, you think we succeeded!? We’re cowering in an abandoned warehouse afraid to show our faces anywhere. We shouldn’t be hiding from Gotham we should be controlling it.

Riddler: I thought you killed the Joker?

Harley: I did. Why?

Riddler: You are starting to sound a lot like him; he never knew when to quit either!

(She slaps him)

Riddler: Look, you can try this fool plan without me. You are a flash in the pan; you don’t have a mind let alone a mastermind. You’re going to get yourself killed and anyone dumb enough to follow you. (He looks at Ivy and Scarecrow) If you want to stop the real menace, take care of the Clown Princess.

(Harley grabs her gun shoves it in Ivy’s hand)

Harley: Go ahead, if you really think it’s time to give up; do it! Kill the Clown! See, Puzzle Boy! Sometimes there are riddles even you can’t solve. Riddle me this "What’s green, weak and walking a short line?"

Riddler: You’re jealousy for what the Joker had.

Harley: (Grabs the gun from Ivy and aims it at Riddler) Get the hell out! You think you’re so smart!? Try and see how you fare against the three of us!

Riddler: I don’t have to be genius to solve how this is going to end. Enjoy your time at the top, sooner or later the Big Top falls. Ask Joker!

-          Riddler exits the warehouse-

Harley: Anyone else want to leave?

Scarecrow: You’ve already done more than some of us. But I do agree you have no goals.

Harley: If you only had a brain.

Ivy: Harley, you have our faith; for now. Riddler may have been right. Joker trusted you and we all know how that ended.

Harley: If we get rid of the Bat’s little helper, He’ll be weak and broken. I don’t care how you do it, just kill her and do it now!!

-          Gotham, Nighttime-

-          The woman from the storefront is lounging in her apartment with a cat resting on her chest. She has a scratch down the side of her face.  She has an open book lying on a pile of mail addressed to Selina Kyle. A knock at her door shocks her awake.

Landlord: Miss Kyle! Selina! Open up!

-          Selina gets up and heads to her door.

Selina: Holds your horses, Brad. I’m coming.

-          She opens her door. A scruffy, dirty man stands there with his arms folded.

Landlord: You haven’t paid your rent in two months. You’re unit smells like animal dander and cat food. You don’t take care of anything; you just mess up my apartments. You have a week to get rid of the mess and pay me; or your ass is on the street with the other strays.

Selina: Will do, now if you don’t mind I’d like to get some sleep.

Landlord: One week.

Selina: In this town, I don’t even know if we’ll be here in a week.

Landlord: Is that a threat… (She slams the door in his face before he can finish)

-          Selina looks out her window and sees an inverted bat symbol for Catwoman. She smiles. She goes to her closet and extracts the cat suit. She slips it on and slinks out the window into the night.

-          Gotham PD rooftop/ Night.

-          Catwoman swings over to the building. A blonde woman is standing there waiting. Catwoman lands and faces her.

Harley: I’m Dr. Quinzell; I just got word that Poison Ivy and Scarecrow are in Gotham Cemetery. They have hostages. That’s all I know.

Catwoman: What about the clown woman?

Harley: No report of her. She has not been spotted as of yet.

Catwoman: Why did you call me instead of the Bat?

Harley: You were the star of the last….uh altercation

Catwoman: Very well, I’ll take care of them.

Harley: This city is in your debt.

-          Catwoman leaps off the building, Harleen remains. She flips open her phone smiling-

-          Gotham Cemetery/ Night

-          Catwoman enters the silent cemetery with obvious caution. She slips behind headstones and trees and spots Scarecrow. He’s hovering over someone, not visible. Catwoman slinks behind more cover to get a better look. She finally spots what he is protecting. A bloodstained baby doll, he turns and faces her (camera) and puts his finger to the lips of his mask. As she retreats back a few steps a vine wraps around her ankles. It drags her down and slides her across the graveyard. It stops at a camera shot of Ivy’s feet. She leans down and kisses her lightly. Catwoman starts shaking. Harley is standing beside Ivy holding a wooden mallet with both ends sharpened to a point.

Harley: Well ladies and gentleman! This is a special treat. Miss Kitty wishes to do a solo act. Now Audience I don’t know how it will fare. She has never been alone and she’s up against the greats. Everyone please silence yourselves as she does her first trick of the night. The amazing flying feline!  (Ivy flips her hand at the vine which brings Catwoman airborne) (Harley follows skipping through the dead leaves still chanting into her invisible microphone) Wow what a crowd pleaser. Is she going to, yes it seems that way, for the first time in Gotham, the fighting femme fatale wishes to do a vocal solo, let’s see if Ms. Ivy can work her magic. My dear, if you’ll do the honors. (Ivy takes a small garden shear out of her boot and jams it into Catwoman’s thigh, she screams in pain) Listen to that falsetto! Ladies and Gentleman, doesn’t she have such a beautiful voice!? (Harley leans down to listen to Catwoman screaming and wailing, she waives her hand at Ivy to stop) Oh wow! This is really going to be a special treat! Catwoman has offered me the chance to attempt the strong man contest. I honestly can’t wait; unfortunately she doesn’t have a hammer so it seems I’ll be using this (Mallet). (Harley brings her Mallet up over her head and slams it into Catwoman’s shoulder. She passes out from the pain.) Ok Folks, it seems our gallant performer has reached her limit, catch us tomorrow night, when she’ll be doing a duet with Gotham’s Own Son! (Motions to Ivy) String her up, bring her with us. (Harley extracts a pen and writes a note and tapes it to a mausoleum wall attached to Catwoman’s whip)

-          Gotham PD-

-          Commissioner Gordon is at his desk with his head in his hands. Batman is standing behind him.

Gordon: Who ever this Harley Quinn is she’s causing a lot of damage. She has to be stopped.

Batman: She has to be a front for the Joker. He’s the prime concern.

Gordon: What makes you think Joker made it out of Arkham before it burned down. There were tons of unidentified bodies scattered around.

Batman: Jim, how many evil clowns can one town have?

Gordon: Clearly a few. She has Catwoman, whatever that means.

Batman: I told her she would get herself killed. Did she leave the address in her message?

Gordon: (reading the note) Batman: You should have kept your kitty on a leash. If you wanna save Catwoman and close down the circus for good come to the place where it all began. Hugs and Kisses, Harley Quinn :)

Batman: Arkham?

Gordon: It’s rubble.

Batman: Where did you find the note?

Gordon: Gotham Industrial Cemetery.

Batman: The one right down the road from Axis Chemicals?

Gordon: I guess, Batman, I can see what you’re thinking, there is no proof Joker is involved at all. She may have just stolen his gimmick.

Batman: It’s possible. It can’t hurt to check for myself.

Gordon: She’s good, Batman. Don’t underestimate her.

Batman: I never do. Please stay available, I’m going to check out Axis.

Gordon: If you must.

-          Batmobile pulls up outside the chemical plant. It’s abandoned.-

-          Batman exits the vehicle and heads up stealthily to the main building. He sees a question mark spray painted on the wall with red and black diamonds. Batman goes to it cautiously. Behind him unbeknownst to him but the audience can see clearly Scarecrow is about to gas him.

Scarecrow: What’s blind and has no kitty to protect him?

Batman: Edward?

Scarecrow: Wrong Psycho, Right Trap (he spews his fear gas) Tell me Batman, what is your darkest nightmare? What makes the bat squirm? Is it plants, snakes, clowns….no you’re too tough for that. Welcome to your doom, Batman. (He takes a syringe and injects Batman and looks at the camera)

-          Chemical warehouse-

-          Batman is lying tied up with wires on an overhang. Harley is standing behind him with her mallet. Ivy is standing beside him with her garden shears and Scarecrow is standing in front of him with his gas valve pointed directly at him.

Batman: So you’re behind this?

Harley: Not quite.

Batman: Harley Quinn I presume.

Harley: Right-O B-man!

Batman: Gordon was right; Joker really had nothing to do with this.

Harley: Oh, I’m offended you didn’t think a weak little girl could take you down?

Batman: A sick mind, man or woman, is capable of anything.

Harley: So profound! We’ll put it on your headstone.

Batman: Cut the games Clown, where is she?

Harley: Oh I’d say on her last life. Nine do go by so fast (Maniacal Laugh)

Batman: You witch! (He lunges forward and his chains loosen)

Harley: Don’t squirm too much, cats don’t like water, Catwomen don’t like acid.

Batman: What!?

Harley: See those pretty chains keeping you down, they’re connected to the main wire of little miss kitty over there. The more you squirm the lower she drops. You get up she goes down (imitates a splashing sound) the only way to save her is to pull the chord out yourself. (he begins) one small catch,   to get her safely down, you have to kill yourself. The chord is attached directly to your ribcage. You pull she dies. You push you die.

Ivy: You’re mulch, darling.

Scarecrow: Accept your fate Batman.

Harley: Face it Puddin’, we won!

-          Harley aims her gun at Batman before she can pull the trigger the Riddler swings his cane down severing and hooking the chord. He does it far enough down that Batman is saved. Harley screams and fires round after round into the Riddler. He falls over the banister of the catwalk, dead. Harley turns to shoot Catwoman who is no longer dangling over the chemicals. Just as Harley turns to shoot Batman, Catwoman kicks the gun out of Harley’s hands. Ivy and Scarecrow run to her aid while Harley scrambles around for her gun. Scarecrow has spewed another round of chemicals and his back is turned to Harley, who has now found her gun. As she goes to grab it Catwoman steps on Harley’s outstretched hand. She clearly breaks it.

Catwoman: That’s for breaking my shoulder, Bitch!

-          Harley (cradling her broken hand) side swipes Catwoman between her legs almost sending her over the edge. She catches herself but not before Harley regains her footing and her gun. Scarecrow is now directly over Batman. Batman sees Harley aim her gun at him, he notices the gas tank on Scarecrow’s back. He grabs the wire letting out a mass of fear gas (but more importantly an open gas line). Harley, however, doesn’t realize this and fires her gun at the two men. As planned the bullet hits the tank and the open gas throwing Scarecrow forward (unconscious but still alive) and sending Harley over the banister. Catwoman and Poison Ivy (who had begun trying to throw one another over the edge as well) had stopped fighting and had been thrown forward. Conscious. Batman realizing he can’t let her die goes to the edge to lift Harley up. Ivy helps him as they pull Harley blinded by her desire to finish what she started throws Ivy’s hand away and grabs her gun again. With her last ounce of strength she fires at Batman (the bullet missing him) but the force causing him to lose his grip on her sending her falling into the chemicals below. Ivy comes too and realizes what happens begins to cry. Batman comes up behind her.

Batman: I’m sorry Pamela (he reaches for her wrist to cuff her and she swings around and plants a huge kiss on his lips)

Ivy: She was right! You really are the problem both of you. Congratulations Catwoman! You get to make your first big hero decision. Save your hero or catch the villain. You can’t have both. (Ivy runs down the catwalk as Catwoman grabs Harley’s gun and shoots Ivy in the leg, and then she goes to Batman’s aid)

Catwoman: You were always my hero. You were like a father to an orphaned city girl; you were what kept me going in my life. I wanted nothing else than to fight alongside you one day (He starts gasping, his lips have turned a pale green color) and now I have. My purpose in life is complete; you still have so much work to do. I love you. (She leans down and kisses his poisoned lips) She was right you know. To save you I had to kill myself. Gotham needs her Dark Knight. Something (she begins to lose her speech as his eyes begin to open hers close) I can never do. I’m just glad this stray cat could help her Bat. (She closes her eyes and falls herself on the catwalk)

-          Batman comes too completely sees Catwoman lying motionless next to him. Ivy bleeding and screaming on one end of the catwalk and Scarecrow lying unconscious just beside the flaming metal. He sighs and radios Gordon

Batman: Jim, you were right. Joker had nothing to do with it.

Gordon: Are you alright?

Batman: I’ll be fine. Send an ambulance, the survivors will need medical attention.

Gordon: Survivors? Who’s dead?

Batman: More than there ever needed to be (looks down at Catwoman)

Gordon: How could someone like Harley do so much damage?

Batman: I don’t know, she came a hell of a lot closer to killing me than any of these other clowns.

Gordon: Good Lord.

Batman: Send the units, Gotham is safe for now.

-          Batman exits the catwalk, the normal way, as he does the camera spans on the chemical tank. A white hand shoots up with red and black painted fingernails.

 

-          The end-

Credits

- Hospital,  morning.

Doctor (On the phone) : She's been poisoned I don't know if she will make it. Commissioner, I understand but Isley's victims very rarely recover in any way.

-  Catwoman's eyes flash open-

Doctor: I wonder if she really has nine lives...

Characters:

Batman: Poisoned by Poison Ivy, Saved by Catwoman (Alive):::/// Main protagonist

Harley Quinn/ Dr. Harleen Quinzell: Thrown into Chemicals/ Shown hand rising from the acid (Alive):::////  Main Antagonist *Main Character* We watch the rise and fall of Harley Quinn

Poison Ivy/ Pamela Isley: Shot by Catwoman/ (Alive)::://// Secondary Antagonist

Riddler/ Edward Nigma: Harley Quinn shoots him several times and his body falls over the edge of the banister/ Saves both Batman and Catwoman (Presumably Dead but Alive) ::://// Turn Coat, betrays Harley

Scarecrow:   Attached to an explosion from fear gas and an accidental gunshot by Harley Quinn (Alive)::://// Secondary Antagonist

The Joker: Harley Quinn stabs him with an ice pick and throws him out the window (DEAD) ::://// Love Interest

Catwoman/ Selina Kyle: Kisses Batman's poisoned lips/ Shown at the end waking up in the hospital (Alive)::://// Secondary Protagonist

Dr. Penny Young: Harley Quinn bashes her many times with a desk lamp (DEAD)  ::://// Secondary Protagonist

Dr. Andrew Heath:  Harley Quinn slits his wrists  (DEAD)  ::://// Secondary Protagonist

Dr. Hugo Strange: Shot but alive/ Harley Quinn shoots him on her way out of Arkham, never shown again but she only shoots him in the shoulder. (Alive)   ::://// Secondary Protagonist

Summer Gleason: Reporter

Arkham Guard: '' '' 

Jim Gordon: Police Commissioner

Brad Gibson: Selina's Land Lord

Ensemble
Arkham Patients/ Doctors/ Guards
Gotham Citizens
Criminals
Scarecrow's Thugs
Cops
Reporters