Nx2Final Draft, Inc. Final Draft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by Chip Casner INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL classroom - day Children are reciting the alphabet. August Dakers, 7, squirms around in his chair not paying attention. Hes much older than the rest of his class. Miss Calhoun Excellent job Kenneth! Alexandria youre next. Alexandria Abcdefg, hijklmnop, qrs, tuv, wx, y and z. Miss calhoun Very good Alexandria, that was perfect. Miss Calhoun glances around the classroom and sees August fiddling with a rubix cube. Miss calhoun (CONTD) August, please pay attention. Can you say the alphabet for us? August Abcdefg, hijklmnoq, rstuvwxyz. Miss calhoun What happened to the P August? August It ran down your leg Miss Calhoun! The children laugh hysterically however Miss Calhoun is not amused. His behavior has been an ongoing disruption. Miss calhoun You know the drill August, to the principals office! August packs his books into his back pack and heads toward the door. The other children are restless and very loud. Prior to leaving the classroom August makes one last wise crack. AUGUST Ill see if principal Warren has any adult diapers for you Miss Calhoun. Miss Calhoun nods her head in disappointment. She continues teaching while slowly walking next to Augusts desk. His rubix cube is on the chair and 3 sides are finished. INT. executive workplace - day August is being hastily led along by his father, Jim. Jim, 40s, wears a suit and is visibly very upset. Jim Well son, your mother started ANOTHER job today so I get to deal with you. INT. JIMS OFFICE - DAY Jim forcefully slaps August across the top of the head. August mutters a groan. Jim (CONTD) Sit down! The principal said if you dont start maturing and doing your work youre gonna be held back again. Is that what you want son? AugUST I dont like school. Its boring. JIM I dont like work August but I have to go. I dont get it, youre an intelligent boy. You just dont try. Jim reaches into his wooden office cabinet and pulls out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a shot glass. Jim (CONTD) Son, theres a tradition in Ireland that youre grand pop taught me when I was your age. Its time you become a man and learn the real hardships of life. Jim pours a shot for August. JIM (CONTD) Drink it son! August drinks the shot and shakes his head in disgust. August It taste like gasoline. Jim pours a second shot for August and hands it to him. 00020000064000000A3E63A,JIM Another! August hesitantly devours the shot. AUGUST I feel sick daddy. Jim pours a third shot for August. JIM Again! August is starting to cry a bit but somehow finishes the shot. He immediately starts throwing up and Jim grabs a nearby waste basket. Jims secretary enters the room. Jims secretary Im sorry Jim I didnt know youre son was here. Oh my god is he ok? JIM Hes fine. Just a little sick. Jims secretary speaks into his ear while making sure August isnt watching. JIMS SECRETARY (whispers) Are we still on for tonight? JIM (whispers) Yeah, Ill call you later. Jims secretary kisses him on the lips goodbye which August notices from the reflection of the bookshelf glass case. He wipes puke from his mouth. August (mumbles) Thats not mommy. August passes out. SUPER: Twenty Years Later Int. GAS STATION - DAY AUGUST DAKERS, late 20s, unshaven, above average looks, wears thrift store clothing and old sneakers. He buys gas, a quart of oil, and a cheap six pack of beer. He pays using old crinkled dollars and some change. Ext. GAS STATION - dAY He pumps gas and fills the car with oil. He checks the tire pressure then pulls onto the highway. SUPER: Dont tell me how educated you are, tell me how much youve traveled. - Mark Twain EXT. Interstate - DAY (Credits) August drives his Volvo wagon while opening a can of beer. A wooden goblet is glued to the dashboard and various crystals hang from the rear view mirror. A large NPR sticker covers the glove box. He passes the various landmarks and street signs along Interstate 40. 000200000A5E00001078A58,EXT. SOCIAL SERVICES BUILDING - DAY August pulls into the parking area. His car diesels. INT. SOCIAL SERVICES BUILDING - DAY August walks to the back of the line which consists of mostly minorities speaking Spanish and a few heavy white woman with crying toddlers. There are no husbands. AUgust (V.O.) I'm sure you have friends just like me. Late twenties, mildly intelligent, and have no clue what they're doing with their lives. Thats me! The only thing I'm really passionate about is playing music. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of singer-songwriter jobs in the help wanted section. A rude woman argues at the counter in Spanish. August (V.O.) (CONTD) Oh yeah, if youre wondering, I already tried the Army. CUT TO: INT. MILITARY BUS - NIGHT SUPER: FORT LEONARD WOOD, MISSOURI 2:45 A.M August and several other new enlistees arrive at boot camp. A fiery, small but stocky drill instructor boards the bus to greet them. August is wearing a Lorax t-shirt. DRILL INSTRUCTOR Welcome to Fort Leonard Wood, you pre pubescent hairless pricks! Weve got a long night ahead of us so get the HELL off my bus and get inside for processing! The privates exit the bus as the drill instructor looks closely at them shaking his head in disappointment. The D.I. gets in Augusts face as he exits the bus. Drill Instructor (CONTD) Private, what the hell is that on your shirt? August Its a truffula tree sir. Drill Instructor You tree huggin liberal piece of shit! You have the gall to wear that faggot hippy filth into my boot camp? August Sorry sir. Drill Instructor Now get in there and put on a real mans uniform. August (v.O.) I knew immediately I had made a COLOSSAL mistake. EXT. heavily treed forest - night SUPER: MINUTES LATER August runs nervously through the dark swampy woods of Fort Leonard Wood Boot Camp in order to escape. The camera freezes on August. His Lorax shirt is clearly visible. AUgust (V.O.) I lasted a total of 3 minutes in the United States Military. They told me later it was the shortest career of anyone thats ever enlisted. Thankfully, they never pressed charges and I was released with an OTHER than honorable discharge. Whatever that means! BACK TO SCENE: AUgust (V.O.) (CONTD) So here I am, just drifting aimlessly through another small town. I guess I'm too much of a pussy to go to L.A, or New York, where theres actually a real music scene. But the one thing I do have going for me is the fact I'm street smart. Through years of being a hobo, I've learned to work the system. It's amazing how many handouts the government has, even for a healthy able bodied male like myself. 00020000097000001AD096A,August approaches the counter. AUgust (CONTD) Im here to apply for food stamps. COUNTER WOMAN Puede yo le ayudo seor? (subtitled in English) Can I help you sir? AUgust No Espanol. I need to apply for food stamps. COUNTER WOMAN (annoyed) Un minuto. Necesito alguien que habla ingles. (subtitled in English) One minute. I need someone who speaks English! SUPERVISOR Hi sir, what can we do for you? AUgust I need to apply for food stamps. SUPERVISOR Are you currently working? AUgust No. SUPERVISOR Do you currently receive any type of unemployment? AUgust Nope. SUPERVISOR Do you own anything of value over $2500 such as real estate, stocks, money in a bank account, a car? August turns and looks at his old Volvo wagon. AUgust Definitely not. SUPERVISOR Fill in the remaining portions of this form and bring it back up to me when you're finished. August accepts form and sits down next to a single woman. Her baby is whining and restless. August returns to the counter. SUPERVISOR (CONTD) Everything looks okay however you left your address blank. You need to provide us with a physical residence. AUgust You know I just arrived into town and will be living in my car for a while. SUPERVISOR Sir, we need something. If you're homeless or camping, draw us a map of where you'll be sleeping. AUgust I'll be crashing in my car for a few days so I really don't have one particular place I'll be living. SUPERVISOR (annoyed) By law we cannot process your application without it. AUgust All right. August draws a very bad sketch of a boxy Volvo wagon with the word Home in the middle of the car and a frowning stick figure with the name August above it. Inside the speech balloon reads, Im hungry. He also makes child like drawings of trees labeled, City Park. SUPERVISOR This is fine. You're going to want to check back with us in 7 days and we should have those ready for you. AUgust (sarcastic) Gracias senorita. EXT. CHARLY'S BAR - NIGHT August enters the bar carrying an old guitar case with a sticker on the outside reading, I love my penis. INT. CHARLY'S BAR - NIGHT CHRIS HAAS, twenties, is testing the sound equipment. CHRIS Whoevers here to sign up for the open mic, please come up to the stage. Chris passes a hat around in which the amateur musicians pick from to establish time slots. August notices KEELY MCCONNELL, 21, attractive, drawing from the hat as well. 0002000009E80000243A9E2,CHRIS (CONTD) 9 o'clock, who's gonna lead us off tonight? August That's me. CHRIS What's your name man? AUgust August. CHRIS Welcome to Charly's man. I'm Chris. August Hey. Chris You get up to three songs and a free drink as well. AUgust Cool, Im just gonna play one. August heads over to the bar carrying his guitar case. KEVIN SIMMONS, 30, pompous, English accent, is cleaning glasses. KEVIN What are you having mate? AUgust I'll have an Irish whiskey on the rocks with a water on the side. KEVIN You got it. All the open mic attendants are standing around Chris. CHRIS Im gonna say it again, you can't be singing these 15 minute epics, especially you Woody! WOODY My talent can't be expressed within the normal confines of a 3 minute song. Chris does not respond to Woody. CHRIS Hey Keely, glad you could make it back. KEELY Hey Chris, 11 o'clock. CHRIS All right, headlining! Are you going to read us some of that insightful poetry again? KEELY If everyone isnt too drunk by then. CHRIS The crowd does start to turn about then. August discreetly watches Keely as she sits down at a table with a few attractive male and female friends. CHRIS (CONTD) Good evening everybody. I'm Chris Haas your host here at Charly's open mic night. Thanks for coming out. If you want a lead guitarist let me know and Ill join you. First off we've got a guy who looks like a real cool dude. I'm sure he can back it up. Please welcome August. Theres a slight audience applause as August approaches the stage and sets up guitar. August Hey Chris, you want to play lead? CHRIS Cool, let me plug in. Chris gets everything set up as August tests the mic. AUgust Thank you. This song is an original called, Do you feel the same as me. August plays and sings while Keely talks at a table with her friends. KEELY Have you ever heard this guy before? JESSICA LANGFORD, 21, less attractive than Keely. JESSICA No, I've never seen him. Guys are engaging in conversation with Keely however she's distracted by August's performance. Kevin is chatting with an old man at the bar. Kevin This guy isnt half bad. Old man Hes not half good either. KEVIN I'm just thankful it's not another bad Neil Young cover! Old man Yeah. JESSICA So we're all hanging out at Seans on Friday. Hes getting a keg to celebrate some new house they just rented. KEELY A bunch of college boys getting drunk and wrestling isnt really my scene anymore. JESSICA Still searching for that screen writer that drives the beat up Karmann Ghia? 0002000006BD00002E1C6B7,KEELY Im not gonna find him in this town! JESSICA This guy singing is certainly different than your past hook-ups. KEELY How old do you think he is? JESSICA I would say like 30. Right at that age where they can last more than 5 minutes! KEELY (jokingly) You would know Jess! How old was Glenn? Like 48? Keely abruptly leaves the table and heads over to the bar. Kevin is busy serving drinks. KEVIN Hey Keels, How's it going babe? KEELY Hey Kevin, can I get a gin and tonic please? KEVIN Sure thing sweets. Keely rolls her eyes. Kevin pours Keely her drink. KEVIN (CONTD) So, my delicious little flower, when are we gonna throw some darts? KEELY (annoyed) Kevin, you just slept with Jess like a month ago then totally blew her off. KEVIN My work visa is only for a few more months. I'm trying to meet as many woman as possible. KEELY Don't you mean, "Screw as many woman?" KEVIN You American girls are far too conservative. Keely I guess our values are slightly higher than those you use to date along the red light district. Keely smiles and turns away to face the stage and watch August perform. Kevin is not phased by Keely's statement and helps other patrons. He comments to the old man at the bar in a cocky manner. KEVIN (whispers to the old man) She's never experienced the English corkscrew! OLD MAN She sure hasn't Kev. Keely is alone at the bar sipping her drink and watching August. The camera zooms in on Keely's face who is enamored to the chorus lyrics. She listens intently to the remaining song. August finishes to virtually no applause. AUgust Thank you, have a great night. CHRIS Well all right, nice job man. That was August Dakers. Good stuff man, good stuff. 000200000B6A000034D3B64,August carries his guitar past Keely who is still sitting at the bar alone. KEELY That was really good. AUgust Thanks. Not much of a response. Keely Its an open mic, what did you expect? August Yeah, unless youre doing something totally unique, no ones really pays attention. So what are you performing? KEELY I'm gonna read some original poetry. AUgust Congratulations, today is your day. You're off to great places, you're off and away! You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose. Keely Is that one of yours? August No, its from one of the greatest poets of our century. Perhaps youve heard of him, ... Dr. Seuss. Keely laughs and is amused by August. Keely Well my stuff is slightly more profound than Dr. Seuss. August He was alot darker than people think. You know green eggs and ham was really about his attraction toward young boys. Keely No way! Youre joking. AugUST Seriously, Sam I am is his subconscious and the green eggs and ham are little boys. Sam I am keeps insisting hes going to like them even though its wrong until finally at the end he goes through with it. Keely's friends are waving her back to the table. KEELY Wow. I never knew that. I gotta get back to my friends. AUGUST Cool, nice meeting you. KEELY (smiling) Yeah you too, I think. August heads out of the bar. He glances at Keely who is engaged in conversation with friends and doesn't notice he has left. Woody plays an out of tune horrific version of "OLD MAN by NEIL YOUNG on his banjo. Woody Old man, look at my life, Im a lot like you were. KEVIN Oh for the love of the queen! EXT. DARK WOODED ROAD - NIGHT August drives down an unknown bumpy dirt road and parks in the woods. He stumbles into the back of the Volvo to sleep. He places a knife under his pillow and curls into a sleeping bag. Theres a very quiet and alone feeling. August masturbates. EXT. WOODS - DAY August is tired from a rough nights sleep. He pushes the rear gate of the Volvo from inside. He does push-ups then grabs a roll of toilet paper, and finds a place to defecate. He gargles some mouth wash and repeatedly drips the mouth wash onto the toilet paper before wiping. AUgust (frustrated) I love starting the day with mud ass. EXT. MANPOWER - DAY Day labor business with 20-30 homeless/down and out white folks and Native Americans waiting for work assignments. INT. MANPOWER - CONTINUED August walks up to the window. AUgust (CONTD) I was hoping to work today. Window lady Fill out this form and we should be able to get you out in an hour or so. Is there anything you won't do? AUgust What do you mean? Window lady Are you afraid of heights, will you not use heavy equipment? AUgust No, anything you have. August sits briefly with the homeless and the down and out. He sees despair in their eyes. He returns the application to the counter. 000200000AED00004037AE7,Window lady Hargrove, Begay, Yazzie, and Dakers! You're all going with Travis today. August That was quick. TRAVIS HUGHES, 28, is a dim-witted large man. EXT. PARKING AREA - DAY TRAVIS Let's go boys, in the truck! August follows the Native Americans into the back of a Ford truck. Country music is blaring and the bumper sticker reads, "Proud Republican," on the left side and, "Impeach Clinton," on the right. Theres another sticker that reads, Cat the other white meat. August intentionally rips it with his boot toe while entering the truck. EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY TRAVIS (CONTD) I hope no one's afraid of doing some insulation today. A few of the men sigh in disappointment. TRAVIS (CONTD) We've got gloves and masks if you need them. Im sure youre aware, Arizona is a right to work state. Which means the only right you have is to work! Follow me! They all head inside of a huge multiple floored framed apartment complex. There are skilled workers everywhere. TRAVIS (CONTD) Has anyone done this before? The Native Americans raise their hands and Travis points to one of them. TRAVIS (CONTD) Drinks with fists, you're in charge. Just keep working until I get back. Any problems come find me. DRINKS WITH FISTS (to August) Yo bro, you know how to do this shit? AUgust No, it doesnt look too hard. August miserably touches the itchy fiberglass insulation without gloves and starts placing it in the framed wall slots. DRINKS WITH FISTS Hey bro, you better put some gloves on. AUgust I'm cool. It's not too bad. LATER - Drinks with fists hands August insulation up into a crawl space attic. Theyre both sweaty and dirty. Travis unexpectedly walks in and interrupts. TRAVIS It's quitting time ladies. EXT. MANPOWER - DAY August and the crew of Native Americans hop out of the pickup truck. August waits in a long line with all very dirty workers at the window to pick up his check. WINDOW LADY Name please. AUgust August Dakers. WINDOW LADY Here you are August. August Looks at the check and smiles smugly. It reads $32.96. AUgust Maam? Is this right? WINDOW LADY Yes. Everyone gets minimum wage. Have a good night sir. EXT. MANPOWER - DAY August walks out frustrated and depressed. A new Mercedes convertible slowly passes him with the license plate on the back reading "Gotwork." INT. VOLVO - NIGHT August is itching like crazy. Hes tossing and turning from the insulation on his arms and hands. He turns on a light to see what is causing the itch. AUgust Man, there's freaking fiberglass in my arm. August uses tweezers to remove fiberglass fragments late into the night. INT. MANPOWER - DAY August is tired and unshaven. He slouches in a hard plastic chair watching Good Morning Arizona on the television. MANPOWER WINDOW LADY 00020000094400004B1E93E,Green, Casner, King, and Dakers. You're working with Travis today. AUgust Sweet, Travis. TRAVIS In the truck vaginas. MONTAGE - AUGUST'S MENIAL DAY LABOR JOBS EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY August sweats while digging a trench. INT. BUSY CHINESE RESTAURANT - DAY August is doing dishes at a very busy restaurant. The dishes are piling up as waiters continue to throw plates in the sink. EXT. PAINTING A HOUSE - DAY August is perched up a huge ladder painting an attic dormer. There is a large hornets nest that is visible a few inches away. INT. STAIRWAY - DAY August breathes heavily while stuck in the middle of a stairway struggling to carry a refrigerator over a banister. EXT. INTERSTATE 17 - DAY August tars highway while toxic smoke blows in his face. EXT. WOODS - NIGHT August lays down in Volvo and passes out. END OF MONTAGE INT. COLLEGE UNION BULLETIN BOARD - DAY Students are rushing to get to class. August glances at the bulletin board through the room-mate wanted section and jots down various phone numbers. INT. COLLEGE UNION PAY PHONE - DAY August dials. CRANKY OLD WOMAN (v.O.) Yes, what is it? AUgust I was calling about the room for rent. INT. ELDERLY WOMAN HOME living room - DAY An old woman soaks her cracked feet in a soapy cooking pot. She is sitting on a very old chair watching daytime television. Several cats are nudging her and meowing while she speaks to August. ELDERLY WOMAN I have a room, but let me tell you a few of the guidelines. There's no drinking or smoking, no visitors past 8 o'clock, and I require proof of stable employment before moving in. August rudely hangs up. ELDERLY woman (CONTD) Hello? Hello? Here kitty, kitty, kitty. Int. College union pay phone - day August dials again. Hes distracted by all the attractive college girls who pass by him. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE family room - DAY Tara answers the cordless phone. She is stretching. INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION TARA Hello? August I was calling about the roommate wanted ad? TARA Yeah it's still available, did you wanna come see it? AUGUST Sure, are you busy right now? TARA No, here's the address. August stumbles for a pen and write's on his hand. AUGUST Cool, I'll see you in a few. EXT. COLLEGE HOUSE - DAY August looks at his hand and approaches the correct house. He knocks on the door with a unique drum roll. Tara opens the door. 0002000008080000545C802,AUGUST (CONTD) Hey, I'm August They shake hands. TARA Hi August, I'm Tara. Come on in and I'll show you the room. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE FAMILY ROOM - DAY August views the interior of the house which is quite messy and filled with old unmatched furniture. AUgust So who all lives here? TARA There's me of course, another girl named Margaret, and a guy named Troubador. So we're actually hoping to find another guy to balance out the mix. AUgust Troubador? August smiles and laughs quietly. TARA Troubador is gay so I hope you don't have a problem with that? AUgust No, its cool. So is everyone students? TARA Yeah, I'm a junior. I also teach dance jazz to a bunch of 14 year old girls. AUgust (jokingly) Cool, you ever bring them around? Tara gives August a disturbed but amusing look. TARA Nooooo! So what about you? Are you in school? AUgust No, I just got into town and doing some day labor right now. I'm hoping maybe to get a band together and get some gigs. TARA What do you play? AUgust I sing and play guitar. TARA Thats great. So what do you think of our house? AUgust It would certainly improve my current living situation. What do I have to do to move in? TARA Let me talk to the other room-mates. Do you want to stop by tomorrow and you can meet everyone else. AUgust Yeah, definitely. TARA Okay, nice meeting you. AUgust Likewise. INT. HUMANE SOCIETY dog kennels - DAY August walks through the corridor of dogs which bark loudly and constantly. Int. Humane society cat room - day August enters the room and opens a few of the cages. He pulls out some canned food from his pocket and gives portions to the various felines. The room is an orchestra of meows. INT. HUMANE SOCIETY office area - day August is walking a few of the cats on a harness. Humane society worker Wow. Ive never seen anyone take out the cats for a walk. August The hardest part is getting the harness on. Then you just let em go! The cats are horrible on the leash and continue to hiss at each other. August struggles to keep them untangled. 000200000B7600005C5EB70,INT. MOVE THEATER BOX OFFICE LINE - NIGHT Movie Theater Attendant, 16, young, attractive. August approaches the counter. MOVIE THEATER ATTENDANT Hi, can I help you? August Is there anything playing in the next half hour? MOVIE THEATER ATTENDANT Blair Witch Project at 7:15, Being John Malkovich 7:25, American Beauty at 7:30, and some Disney movie about a mouse who drives at 7:45. AUgust Whichever one is playing next. So I guess Blair Witch Project. MOVIE THEATER ATTENDANT It'll be $7 dollars. August counts his dollar bills and change. AUgUST I don't suppose you're over 18? MOVIE THEATER ATTENDANT Nope, just turned 15. August notices a concerned father with two young teenage girls in line behind him. The man looks perturbed at Augusts inability to realize that the theater attendant is not of legal age. AUGUST Maybe Ill run into you in a couple of years and we can have a drink. MOVIE THEATER ATTENDANT (interested) Sure! August slithers into the dark theater. The attendant smiles with flattery as he leaves. MOVIE THEATER ATTENDANT (CONTD) Next please. CONCERNED FATHER Does you father know youre flirting with men twice your age? Movie theater attendant My father left us! Concerned Father Im sorry. Three for Stuart Little. His two teenage daughters show no interest in seeing the childrens movie and pout with frustration. INT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT August sits alone. There are very few people in the theater. He watches intently while sipping cheap whisky from a pint bottle. The movie ends and August is completely horrified. EXT. MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT August exits the theater and walks toward his Volvo. AUgust That was freaking crazy! EXT. WOODS - NIGHT August lays in his car while gripping his knife tightly. Its raining and thundering. He's too terrified to sleep. EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY August sweeps up dust in an office building. Hes having an easy day. EXT. COLLEGE HOUSE - NIGHT August knocks. TARA Hey August. AUgust Hi Tara. TARA Come on in. They said I could go ahead and let you know that it's all yours. AUGUST Wow, just like that? TARA Yep. The old room-mate paid up unit the first so we wont need rent from you until next week. AUGUST Great. Ill have it by then. Ill grab my stuff and start unpacking. INT. AUGUST BEDROOM - NIGHT August organizes his new bedroom while mildly loud jazz music plays from his cheap radio. MARGARET, 20, heavy set, knocks at Augusts door. MARGARET Hi, you must be August. AUGUST Indeed. MARGARET I'm the other roommate. Can you keep the music down a little? I have to study and stuff. AUGUST Yeah, of course. Margaret rudely walks away without speaking. August grabs his vintage motorcycle jacket and vacates his bedroom. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE FAMILY ROOM - NIGHT Tara is reading on the couch. AUgust (CONTD) I'm heading downtown to put up some flyers. I'll Probably grab a drink. Do you feel like joining me? 000200000550000067CE54A,TARA Ummmm, sure. Let me just change real quick. Ext. Downtown CITY - night August is stapling musicians wanted flyers on all the store windows, utility poles, and newspaper dispensers. AuGUST Lets see how many creepy musicians I can get to stop by the house. Tara (jokingly) Yeah, we already have one! AuGUST I didnt know Margaret played an instrument? August smirks as Tara laughs. INT. SHADY BAR - NIGHT August and Tara are sitting at the bar. August is wearing his vintage motorcycle jacket and Tara is wearing a soft sweater that accentuates her breasts. AUGUST So what's your story Tara? Just doing the college thing? TARA Yep. I'm a dance major with one year to go. August Would that be pole or lap? TARA Funny! Its African dance. AUgust African dance? Tara Yep. August Thats actually a real major? TARA Yeah. It's a huge program out here. AUgust What's up with a white girl wanting to earn a degree in African Dance? TARA It's not just about the dancing. Its also about the history and the origins of dance. AUgust No, I think its a cool thing youre studying that. And Im sure after graduation, when you move to the Congo, you should have no problem finding a job. TARA (amused) Shut up! A couple of older blue collar fellows are seated a few stools down and are discussing football with the bartender. August 000200000B5C00006D18B56,Bartender, two shots of Yeager. August initiates a toast. AUgust (CONTD) Here's to the start of a new friendship with the only student I know whos studying the complex and intricate movements of inner city break dancing! TARA Heres to some jerk I let live with us! INT. SHADY BAR JUKEBOX - LATER THAT NIGHT August and Tara are choosing songs together and are both slightly intoxicated. Tara is giggling while August scrutinizes her music selections. AuGUST Please, no more Paula Abdul. Tara Let me just hear Straight Up again. AuGUST I cant believe they have that. EXT. COLLEGE HOUSE - NIGHT August and Tara stumble up to the front of the house giggling and laughing. They are both loud and intoxicated. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE - NIGHT August carries Tara to her room and lays her down on the bed which is covered with a sea of stuffed animals. INT. TARA BEDROOM - NIGHT August (CONTD) Are you like really good at carnival games? Whats up with all the animals? Tara I collect them. AUgust Its quite a family you got here. So you know what my grandfather said to me before he died. TARA What did he say? AUgust He said, never pay for parking, never pee into the wind, and never get on your roommate the first night. TARA He didnt say that. AUgust Yeah, its how he met my grandmother. August kisses Tara while holding her hands above her head as she lays on the bed. She gets on top of August. He throws her off and releases onto a nearby black horse stuffed animal. TARA Not on Stallion! AUgust Oh shit, I'm sorry. August puts on his clothes. Tara is cleaning stallion with a towel. AUgust (CONTD) I cant believe we did that! August kisses Tara and heads out of the bedroom. TARA Good night. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE KITCHEN - DAY August is tired and hung over. He reaches in the fridge and pounds a can of beer. He randomly searches through the kitchen cabinets looking for food. He finds some cereal and sits at the table. TROUBADOR, 25, Native American, homosexual, gothic, enters. TROUBADOR You must be the newest member of our soiree of degenerates? AUGUST (puzzled) I guess, you must be Troubador? TROUBADOR Precisely. August Nice to meet you Troubador. Troubador Its a pleasure to meet you. Youre very proportionate. AUgust Thanks, I think that's a compliment. TROUBADOR Do you ever play erotic scrabble? August No, cant say I have. Troubador Id be certainly happy to show you sometime. AUgust Thats very nice of you however I was drinking all night dude and I'm still feeling totally queezy. So engaging in some boyishly perverted banter with some gothic dances with wolves extra will probably only enhance my headache. TROUBADOR I was only exchanging pleasantries and trying to be hospitable to my new flat mate. AUgust No worries man. I've got to get to my job interview. August tosses his dishes into the sink and abruptly heads out of the kitchen. 000200000DD00000786EDCA,TROUBADOR Apparently SOMEONE isnt a morning person! INT. LARGE EXECUTIVE OFFICE - DAY ROBERT FLEMING, late 50's, a no nonsense type of guy. His office door is open. August pokes his head in. Mentally retarded adults run and scream through the hallway behind August. AUgust Are you Mr. Fleming? ROBERT FLEMING Yes, come in. You must be August, please have a seat. AUgust Nice to meet you sir. ROBERT FLEMING I called you in today to talk about your application as one of our Job Coaches. Can I ask why you decided to work with mentally retarded adults? AUgust Im looking for something a bit more meaningful and less labor intensive. Robert fleming Most of our clients are exceptional human beings who for various reasons are unable to perform in society due to mental handicaps mostly acquired at birth. AUgust That sucks. Robert fleming We need someone who is bright, caring, and can handle a stressful environment. A calm controlling patience is absolutely critical in doing well at this position. Do those sound like some of the qualities you bring to the table? CUT TO: EXT. COUNTRY CLUB GOLF GREEN - DAY - FLASHBACK He repeatedly slams his putter into the turf causing large divots in the manicured green. August I cant believe I just fucking three putted from 5 feet! INT. Volvo - day August is stopped at a traffic light. The light turns green however the car in front doesnt move. He violently hits the steering wheel with his closed fists. AUGUST Its fucking green, lets go! INT. Grocery store - day August is in a long line where there is only one register open. He has only a few items while the shoppers in front of him have carts filled to the top. AUGUST Is there only one freakin employee here? BACK TO SCENE AUgUST (CONTD) Absolutely Mr. Fleming. My demeanor bears that of a dove. Robert fleming You sound like a honest young man that would fit in quite well around here. Can you start tomorrow? AUGUST Yes sir! Robert hands August the company name and address. Robert fleming Be at this address no later than 6 a.m. AUgust Thank you. EXT. SOCIAL SERVICES BUILDING - DAY August pulls into the parking lot. INT. SOCIAL SERVICES BUILDING - DAY There are several young unsupervised attention kids running around playing. August approaches the counter. AUgust (CONTD) I'm here to pick-up my Food Stamps. SUPERVISOR Name please? AUGUST August Dakers. SUPERVISOR Hold on. Supervisor leaves window to go search for food stamps. August turns around glancing at single mothers. SUPERVISOR (CONTD) Do you have some identification? AUgUST Yeah. August hands the supervisor his drivers license through the window. She starts counting the food stamp packets. SUPERVISOR There's a few questions I have to ask before I can dispense these. AUgust Okay. SUPERVISOR Have you received any money since applying? AUgust No. SUPERVISOR Have you been offered or accepted any work since applying? AUgust No. SUPERVISOR It shows here on your application that your homeless. Has your living conditions changed since applying for food stamps? AUgUST No. SUPERVISOR Sign here. It's $130/month. Check back on the 5th of each month to pick them up. AUgUST Thank you. INT. SAFEWAY FOOD STORE - DAY August peruses the butcher's counter shifting through the meat section. AUGUST (CONTD) Excuse me! BUTCHER Yes sir? AUgUST Do you guys have any fresh filet mignon? BUTCHER Yeah, I can cut some up for you. AUgUST Great, give me about 4 lbs. August glances through the glass counter and sees shrimp as well. 0002000007240000863871E,AUgUST (CONTD) Also, give me 2 lbs of the jumbo shrimp. BUTCHER You know it's market price right now? AUGUST That's fine. INT. SAFEWAY FOOD STORE CHECKOUT LINE - DAY August places a large amount of meat and seafood on the conveyor belt and lays down the separation divider. The Elderly Woman is in front of him and has hundreds of canned cat food. Elderly Woman Make sure you double bag them. Last time they fell out everywhere! The check out girl scans all of August's food. CHECK OUT GIRL Your total comes to $128.19. August breaks off the monopoly like money (food stamps) and hands it to the check out girl. AUGUST (sarcastic) Id also like 2 hotels for park place and boardwalk. The check out girl is oblivious to August's joke and hands him back his change. CHECK OUT GIRL Thank you for shopping Safeway. EXT. SAFEWAY FOOD STORE - DAY A homeless man asks for change as August is walking out. Homeless man Can you spare any change son? August Sorry. Homeless man God bless. August continues past the homeless man then abruptly turns around. AugUST I cant spare any change but heres a filet and some shrimp. Homeless man (excitingly) God bless you son, god bless! EXT. COLLEGE HOUSE ROOFTOP - DAY August sits atop the roof enjoying his well cooked fillet and shrimp. He gazes at the mountains during a brilliant sunset. INT. College house tara bedroom - day August is laying next to Tara with his eyes open. The alarm clock reads 5:31 a.m. He slowly slips out of the bed without waking her. EXT. ANDERSON RECYCLING - DAY Its a dirty blue collar industrial building. The parking lot is lined with several older Ford and Chevy full size pick-ups. August parks toward the back and exits the car. He yawns while walking toward the entrance. INT. ANDERSON RECYCLING RECEPTION AREA - DAY August enters. 00020000076400008D5675E,SECRETARY Good morning. AUgUST Morning. SECRETARY How can we help you? AUgUST I'm August Dakers. I'm starting today as a job coach. SECRETARY Let me page John. He's the one you need to speak to. John Miller to the front desk, John Miller to the front desk. John enters the office and extends a handshake to August. JOHN Hello August. I'm John Miller the operations manager here at Anderson Recycling. AUgUST Hey John, nice to meet you. JOHN Follow me and I'll show you around the plant. INT. ANDERSON RECYCLING OPERATION AREA - DAY John and August enter the interior of the plant which looks like a huge smog tank with loud machinery and debris flying everywhere. JOHN (speaking loudly) I'm not sure if Mr. Fleming mentioned what we do around here or how things work. AUGUST No, not really. JOHN Well we're basically a large filter that weeds out the more valuable recyclable such as cardboard and aluminum from your everyday trash. AUGUST (not interested) Cool. JOHN If you look up there you can see how it all works. The trucks dump all the trash into a compartment that funnels straight onto the conveyor belt where you and your team will be picking out the valuables. You'll then place them in the various bins marked cardboard, metal, and so on. AUgUST Gotcha. JOHN Well you ready to get started? AUGUST Sure. JOHN Here's a dust mask and eye protection. The airborne dirt accumulates in your nostrils so you'll have to get use to blowing out the black boogs. AUgUST (jokingly) Thats a cool band name. John brushes off Augusts joke. JOHN Let me show you up to your room. August and John climb several sets of metal industrial stairs which lead to the third floor trash house. August pauses at the top to look at all the heavy equipment within the plant. John (CONTD) Here we are and good luck. If you have any questions go see Sarah and she can page me. AuGUST Okay. 000200000E61000094B4E5B,INT. ANDERSON RECYCLING TRASH HOUSE - DAY August enters the trash house which consists of all glass with a 3 foot wide conveyor belt running through the middle of it. It's dirtier than the rest of the plant. Several emotionally disturbed adults stand on each side of the belt pulling cardboard and metal. AUGUST (CONTD) Hey guys. I'm August your new Job Coach. They all greet August. Trash is falling violently from the top onto a conveyor belt at a very high speed. Some of the male mentally challenged are not working or paying attention. Theyre busy reading Playboys that have come through the trash. Mentally disabled female August is hot! Some of the disabled females smile and laugh. AUGUST So this is what you do all day. You just stand here and pull stuff out of the trash? MENTALLY DISABLED MALE It's easy. AUGUST What do they pay you guys for this? MENTALLY DISABLED FEMALE We don't get anything. It goes to Maroni. AUGUST Do you guys get paid anything? MENTALLY DISABLED FEMALE They give us a house and take us on trips. AUGUST Cool. I just want to say you're all doing an exceptional job. August notices a barely legal magazine floating by. He snatches it off the conveyor belt and opens it to the centerfold. AUGUST (CONTD) (talking to self) Damn. Mentally disabled male Its a kitty. A live skunk falls onto the conveyor belt and sprays everywhere uncontrollably. A few of the mentally disabled females scream along with one of the males. A few other males laugh as they can't comprehend the situation. AUGUST (raised voice) Wholly Shit, get the fuck out of here! Everyone rushes out of the room and down the stairs. August is waving them out and getting the brunt of the skunk spray as he's the last to leave. EXT. ANDERSON RECYCLING - DAY The back door of the plant opens abruptly into the parking lot with several mentally disabled adults running and screaming. August is at the end and continues running past the adults and all the way around the building to where his Volvo is parked. He gets inside and drives off. EXT. VOLVO DRIVER WINDOW - DAY August spits repeatedly out the drivers side window while driving home. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE FAMILY ROOM - DAY August walks briskly in the front door. Troubador is sitting in the family room reading a book entitled, "The Nambla Story." TROUBADOR What is that offensively pungent smell? August sighs and continues past Troubador without responding. He jumps in the shower and pours shampoo and conditioner all over his head and body. He lays down on the bed blankly with his wet hair looking upward in disbelief. AUgust I need a drink. EXT. CHARLYS BAR - DAY Female bartender What can I get you? AUgust How are your bloody Mary's? Female bartender I make them ridiculously spicy and use way too much vodka. AUgust Perfect. I'll have one with extra vodka and extra spices. The bartender smiles and addresses the bar back. FEMALE BARTENDER Can you grab me the jigger? Barback (jokingly) What did you call me? Chris is breaking down his sound gear in the corner and walks over to the bar and orders a coke. CHRIS August right? AUGUST Yeah. CHRIS Its Chris, the open mic host. August Yeah I remember. Thanks again for playing lead. The waitress brings over the Bloody Mary. Chris No worries. What are you doing here so early? AUgust I just quit my job this morning and Im down to my last twenty bucks. CHRIS Well at least you got your priorities straight. AUGUST What do you mean? CHRIS You ordered a $7 drink at 9 o'clock in the morning. AUGUST Its my Charles Bukowski impression. CHRIS (smiling) You know I work nights as a janitor and they're always looking for help. AUGUST 0002000007C10000A30F7BB,Really. CHRIS Youd have to clean toilets and pick-up crusty tampons. AUGUST Dude, Ill take anything right now. CHRIS Heres the address. Go down there tonight and talk to Diego. AUGUST Cool, thanks again man. CHRIS We should jam sometime. AUgUST Id love to. Im actually trying to get a band together. CHRIS Cool man, well talk. Chris heads back over to the stage to finish breaking down his equipment. AugUST Dude seems pretty cool. Female Bartender Chris is a sweetheart. August notices the bartenders ass as she stocks the cooler. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE KITCHEN - DAY Margaret is talking with Tara. She is cooking and Tara is doing homework at the table. TARA So what do you think of August? MARGARET You sure know how to pick em Tara! TARA He's nice. MARGARET He seems like a weirdo. Did you see the stuff he has? TARA Hes just a quirky musician. Maragaret We should of checked his references. TROUBADOR (O.S.) No more straight males! MARGARET I guess well just see what happens with this guy. Troubador enters from the family room. TROUBADOR All I can say is I'm doing the screening next time around. I told you my friend Ramon was interested in the room. MARGARET There's no way I'm living with a male strip-o-gram. TROUBADOR He got fired from that. He works with senior citizens now. TARA You and Ramon together would be like a 24 hour Marti Gras. No one would be able to sleep around here. TROUBADOR Well you're certainly one to talk Miss Tara. Not on Stallion! Troubador places his glass in the sink and walks out of the room. Tara sits at the table smiling. MARGARET What did he mean by that? TARA I don't know. MARGARET Oh fooey I'm late. I'll see ya. TARA Bye! INT. HEALTH CLUB - NIGHT August enters the back door and walks in. He smiles at THERESA, 18, cute, blonde, Christian, not bright, who continues to hit the wall while vacuuming. August walks down the hall and passes Chris who's cleaning the outside glass of the racquet ball courts. 0002000007790000AACA773,CHRIS Hey man, glad you made it. Diegos office is down the hall on the right. AUGUST Thanks again for the lead. INT. DIEGOS OFFICE - NIGHT The door is open and August knocks softly. Diego, 40s, speaks very poor English. AUGUST (CONTD) Are you Diego? DIEGO Yes, August? AUgUST Indeed, nice to meet you. DIEGO Please, sit. Chris say you don't mind cleaning shit in toilet and vomit in kiddy pool? AUgUST No, not at all. DIEGO Two guys just quit last week so I need someone immediately. Can you start right now and we get paperwork done next week. AUGUST Yeah, that's fine. DIEGO Go see Chris and he show you what to do. AUGUST Cool, thanks. INT. RACQUET BALL COURTS - NIGHT CHRIS Did you get it? AUGUST Yeah, he told me to start tonight. CHRIS Cool. Wanna give me a hand cleaning these windows? AUGUST Sure. August and Chris clean the windows together. AUgust (CONTD) So who is the young blonde girl I saw walking in? CHRIS Her name is Theresa. Pure, innocent, and totally Christian. AUgust Im guessing our values are vastly different. CHRIS I don't think she drinks before noon. Plus shes kind of smart challenged if you know what I mean. AUGUST Too bad, what a cute face! CHRIS Do you want to hook up tomorrow and work on a few tunes? AUGUST Yeah, give me a call whenever you get up. Theresa walks past Chris and August. Theresa Have a great night guys! CHRIS You too Theresa. August and Chris look at each while thinking the same thing. AUGUST (sarcastic) I think I need to convert! INT. COLLEGE HOUSE HALLWAY - NIGHT August quietly walks in the house. Its very late and Tara is up waiting for him. AUGUST (CONTD) Hey, what are you doing up so late? TARA I didn't hear from you at all today. AUGUST Sorry, you won't believe the day I had. I got sprayed by a skunk, quit my first job, then got a different job a few hours later. TARA How did you get sprayed by a skunk? AUGUST 000200000E9A0000B23DE94,(tired) It's a whole other story I'll tell you about it tomorrow. TARA Can you just call me next time and let me know what you're doing? AUGUST Tara, the last couple nights were cool and all but I'm not really looking for a girlfriend. TARA I understand we made a mistake being room-mates, but I just don't go out and hook up with anyone. AUGUST Do you want me to come in tonight? TARA No. I need some sleep. I'll see you when I get home tomorrow. AuGUST All right, good night. Tara Good night. August exits her bedroom. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE KITCHEN - DAY Chris and August are jamming to a song called Father Murray. Tara enters the room and listens to the disturbing lyrics. TARA (CONTD) You guys are perves! August slowly stops playing. AUGUST Hey Tara, this is Chris my new band-mate. TARA Hi, I'm Tara. CHRIS Hey Tara, nice to meet you. TARA What kind of song was that? AUgust It's a new category of music I'm inventing called, "Pedafile Rock!" Tara shakes her head in disgust and leaves the room. August sips a cheap can of beer. AUgust (CONTD) What should we work on? CHRIS What was that priest song we were just playing? AUgust It's called Father Murray. Its funny because right after I wrote it all that stuff came out in the news. CHRIS The lyrics are certainly provocative! AUgust They actually booted me off the stage once for playing it at some open mic on Christmas Eve. CUT TO: INT. Small pub - night August is on stage singing Father Murray. Older folks in the audience are shaking their heads in disgust. AuGUST Ill tell you all a story, its about Father Murray. He loved little boys, little boys, little boys. It happened in confessions, I was alone with Father Murray. He took me down stairs to his room, he said son dont worry. He leaned me over some cold wooden pews, I did things I didnt want to do. Now Im all messed up! Little boys, little boys, little boys, little boys. The sound engineer pulls the mic cable on August and hes singing with no amplification. Sound guy Get the fuck off the stage! Youre not singing that shit here! BACK TO SCENE: August I guess songs about fondling young boys isnt what people want to hear during the holidays. CHRIS I dont think Bing Crosby would of covered that one! Troubador enters as Chris and August are singing, "Little Boys, Little Boys." (Chorus in Father Murray) Troubador stands and watches. He is enjoying it. Troubador exits. TROUBADOR That's a great song! Little boys, little boys, little boys, little boys. CHRIS I got to run and set up for a jazz show tonight. AUGUST Cool, Ill join you and get an early start on tonight's snockering. Chris and August pack up their guitars and head out. AUgUST (CONTD) (loudly) See ya Tara, see ya Troub. TARA (O.S.) Call me if youre gonna be late! Chris Is she your girlfriend? AugUST No, thats gonna be a huge mess. INT. JAZZ BAR - NIGHT Mario, 50, beard, Sean Connery looks. He is flirting with Keely who is writing poetry in a leather bound book. She sits by herself sipping a gin and tonic. August and Chris walk in carrying his music gear. August sees Keely as they approach the stage. AUgust (CONTD) You need help with anything else? CHRIS I'm good man, this is what I get paid for. Dont you have to work tonight? AUgust Yeah, I don't go in until 10 though. CHRIS Diego is off tonight, its just you and Theresa. AUgust Cool, maybe Ill bring some wine and a bible. Chris shakes his head and smiles. August walks over to the bar area. AUgust (CONTD) (sarcastic) Howdy. Can I get an Irish whiskey on the rocks and a water on the side? MARIO One whiskey coming up. Keely looks up and is surprised to see August. August receives his drink and sits next to Keely. 00020000067C0000C0D1676,AUGUST Hey. Keely right? KEELY Yeah. Youre the creepy Dr. Seuss guy. AUgust My alias is August. How are you? KEELY Good, I didn't know you were friends with Chris. AUgust (sarcastic) You know, brilliant musicians have a way of finding each other. KEELY Wow, youre quite the humble one. AUgust Im just kidding. He just hooked me up with a job and we were jamming earlier. KEELY What kind of job? AUgust I facilitate the disposal of various human wastes down at the health club. KEELY Sounds like a noble cause. AUgust Yeah, its certainly rewarding work. For instance, last night I got to remove 3 feet of soapy pubic hair from the mens shower drain. KEELY (laughs) That's so disgusting! AUgust So what are you doing out in the middle of the week? KEELY Well to quote the great Irish poet Brendan Behan, "I'm a drinker with writing problems." AUgust (amused) Cool. KEELY So how did you get the name August? Im guessing thats the month you were born? August It was the month I was supposed to be born. I didnt want to leave the warm luxurious accommodations of my moms vagina and ended up being a few days late and born in September. I guess it was too late to change. Keely It would of been really cool if they gave you September as a middle name. You know, August September. August I could of legally changed my last name to October. Hi, Im August September October. So you want to partake in some pool? KEELY Sure. August sets up the rack while Keely chalks her stick. Chris is smiling in the background giving an okay sign. KEELY (CONTD) So what are the stakes? AUGUST If I win, you agree to sleep with me tonight. 0002000006AD0000C7476A7,KEELY (amused) I dont think so! August If I win, you agree to hang out with me tomorrow. Keely Okay. And if I win? AuGUST If you win, Ill do 20 jumping jacks in just my boxers while reciting one of your poems. KEELY (laughing) That I have to see! Go rack em! Keely breaks very powerfully for a woman. AUgust Nice freaking break Hercules! KEELY You know the old saying, Never play pool with musicians, writers, or alcoholics. AUgUST Why is that? KEELY They spend all their time in bars! August misses a very easy shot. AUGUST Under that theory I should be running the table. KEELY I look forward to hearing my poetry later! AUGUST Yeah, yeah, its early my friend. So where are you from Keely? KEELY Grew up down in the valley. I graduate in a few months then plan on going to film school. AUGUST Film school? Are you looking to be a director or something? KEELY Yeah. I kind of get a kick out of bossing attractive insecure people around. How about you? AUGUST Originally from back east. KEELY What brought you out here? AUgUST After dropping out of high school, I jumped in my Volvo and have been cruising around the country ever since. KEELY As a phycology minor it sounds to me like you have abandonment issues and a fear of commitment. AuGUST Interesting. I had a dream the other night I was making love to a giant spider and my mom interrupts and asks me if Id like another cup of coffee? Whats your take on that? Keely I think it means you should be locked up and heavily sedated. Keely is beating August in pool and is about to hit in the eight ball. KEELY (CONTD) This is it. Eight ball straight down. Keely confidently makes the shot but the cue ball rolls in. 000200000B190000CDEEB13,Keely (CONTD) NOOOOOOOO! AUGUST (sarcastic) I hate to win that way, I really do. KEELY Sure, sure. Keely and August hang up their pool cues. Keely puts on her coat. Keely (CONTD) Ive got to get home and study. Heres my number. I guess were hanging out tomorrow. AUGUST Cool, well do something fun. Keely Ill see you. August (raised voice) You would of been in for a surprise if you won. I go commando! Keely turns back to smile just before exiting. August chugs his drink. EXT. DOWNTOWN CITY - NIGHT August wanders around the downtown area. He hears Irish music from the street and steps down into the basement pub entrance to listen. INT. IRISH PUB - NIGHT He stumbles through the bar area toward the bathroom. INT. IRISH PUB BATHROOM - NIGHT August reads the bathroom wall while he is urinating. The quotes on the wall read: Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Above the bathroom mirror reads: No wonder you always go home alone. A belligerent drunk enters the bathroom. BELLIGERENT DRUNK What are you reading the wall for, the joke is in your hand! AUGUST Fuck you dude! INT. IRISH PUB - NIGHT August stands at the bar waiting to order. IRISH BARTENDER What are you having lad? AUGUST Let me get a car bomb and a shot of Irish whiskey on the side. Irish Bartender Car bombs come with a shot of whiskey. AuGUST I know. I want two shots. CASEY, a small, stocky built guy approaches August. He has kind of a lisp. CASEY Feel like playing some pool? I need a partner. AUGUST Yeah, let me just get my drink. IRISH BARTENDER Courtesy of my friends over in the I.R.A. AUGUST You know my grandparents are from Dublin and Im about 80% Irish. IRISH BARTENDER Well Im from Belfast, so piss off! August is perplexed by the comment and slams the car bomb. He sips his shot and heads over to the pool table. CASEY It's your turn. August is a little tipsy from the car bomb. AUGUST (sarcastic) Are we plaid or colored? CASEY We're stripes. August makes a very difficult bank shot. AUGUST Oh yeah! August misses his next shot and mingles with a group of onlookers who are friends with Casey. AUGUST (CONTD) (jokingly/intoxicated) If your friend is looking to party, my rates are 200 roses per hour. Donations only! CASEY'S GIRLFRIEND Hey asshole. I'm his girlfriend. Case, this jerk thinks you're gay! AUGUST What, I never said that. Casey approaches August in a hostile manner with a pool cue in his hand. CASEY What the fuck did you call me? AUGUST Nothing man. She took it completely out of context. CASEY You have no idea what I can do to you. AUGUST Dude, just chill out. I was totally kidding around. CASEY Call me a fag again, do it! AuGUST Were both not gay so lets just end the argument and play some pool. 000200000B650000D901B5F, August turns to Casey's friends to plead his case. Casey taps August on the back and punches him just as he turns around. August falls to the ground with his drink in his hand. He gets up and approaches Casey who is laughing. August shakes his half spilled drink with his right hand then hits him with his left. Casey falls back and August jumps on top of him and they begin to wrestle. The doormen immediately pull them apart. August lays on the ground while Casey continues the fight with the doormen. He connects with a few of them. Casey runs out the front door with a ripped shirt and a bloody lip. The doormen pursue. August lays on the floor bloody and exhausted. He notices Caseys beer bottle on the ground and takes a sip. August slowly turns to the camera. He smiles in a deviant manner. The camera holds on August for several seconds as the music begins. EXT. Liquor store drive through - night The clerk hands August a six pack of beer through the window. INT. VOLVO WAGON - NIGHT August opens a fresh can while driving. He is weaving out of the lane along the street in sync with the music. INT. HEALTH CLUB - NIGHT (Slow motion scene). August stumbles in through the back door and tosses his beer can prior to entering. He punches in at the time clock. He walks past Theresa with a bloody shirt, swollen eye, and hair thats all messy from wrestling. He smiles awkwardly at Theresa, then grabs her hand and spins her around. He continues through the main hallway, into the mens locker room, through a small custodial area, then exits a different back door and drives home in his car. EXT. COLLEGE HOUSE - NIGHT August passes out onto the steering wheel horn which wakes him up after a few seconds. AuGUST (dazed) Mom? INT. COLLEGE HOUSE FAMILY ROOM - DAY Margaret is in a rush to get to school. Troubador sits on the couch watching television. The front door is blocked by Augusts Volvo. She slams it repeatedly as it hits the Volvos front bumper. Margaret Why cant I get out? Troubador Your favorite room mate parked a little to close to the house last night. Margaret is extremely frustrated and uses the back door. She pounds on Augusts bedroom door as she exits. Margaret Thanks Asshole! INT. AUGUST BEDROOM - DAY August wakes up from Margarets noise. He gulps an already opened beer can which is on his night stand. He takes a deep breath and moans. He dials the phone. DIEGO (V.O.) This Diego. AUGUST Hey Diego it's August. DIEGO (V.O.) Hello August, you not ready to quit on me yet, are you? AUGUST No. I just wanted to let you know I was so tired at the end of my shift last night that I forgot to punch out. DIEGO (v.O.) Okay, no problem. I have you fill out manual time card for this week. AUGUST Cool. Thanks Diego. DIEGO (V.O.) I see you later. August hangs up the phone and falls back onto the bed. EXT. FRISBEE GOLF COURSE - DAY 0002000008530000E46084D,Older college kids with backpacks and beers in hand observe from the first tee box. Keely is present. August has a nasty bruise around his eye. Keely What happened to you? August Its a birthmark. ChRIS Alright Keely youre up. She approaches the tee box but maintains a puzzled look toward August. KEELY Haven't done this in awhile. The small crowd praises her for her drive. August steps up to throw. Hes holding a beer in his hand which hinders his toss. It doesnt go as far as Keelys. CHRIS She just out drove you buddy. AUGUST Yeah, yeah. Try doing it with a beer in your hand. All the players proceed to their frisbees. August & Keely engage in their own conversation. Keely What actually happened to you? August There was a little brew ha ha down at the old pub last night. Keely Are you all right? August (sarcastic) No. Can you kiss it? KEELY Always the joker? August Im just kidding. I kind of got sucker punched. Keely I like it! It makes you look tough. August And Im the deranged one? Keely and August stand next to their frisbees and wait for the others to throw. Keely So are you just gonna work as a janitor and hang out with college kids your whole life? AUgust Uh oh here come the serious questions. KEELY Im just curious what your plans are. August I dont know. I want to do music but where do you start. You're either super poor like me or ridiculously loaded. There's really nothing in the middle. KEELY Is that what you're shooting for? All or nothing? AUGUST Yep! And unfortunately right now its nothing. KEELY You dont get depressed living like that? AUGUST Well Im hoping its not permanent. If it was Id probably drive my car into the Grand Canyon! KEELY Thats the one thing I like about you August. AuGUST Whats that? Keely You have passion. CHRIS (yells) Come on you two love birds, you're holding everyone up! August Your shot! Keely makes a 100 foot toss which hits the loud chains and goes in. Everyone screams with accolade. Keely excitingly jumps up and down. August (CONTD) No freaking way! MONTAGE - AUGUST & KEELY SPENDING THE DAY TOGETHER 0002000008C90000ECAD8C3,EXT. FRISBEE GOLF COURSE - DAY Keely is on August's shoulders in order to throw her frisbee over a large patch of downed trees. August loses his footing and they collapse just as Keely throws. August has a great toss until a stray dog comes along and snatches the frisbee from the ground and runs off with it. They both chase after the mutt whose running in circles. They sit together smiling at one another awaiting their turns. August is spinning his frisbee using different fingers. Keely tries but is unsuccessful. INT. CHRIS'S CAR - DAY August and Keely are closely sitting together in the back seat while Chris drives through a picturesque canyon. EXT. SWIMMING HOLE - DAY August is laying in the shallow stream enjoying the cool water. A naked little boy is peeing into the water just upstream from August. Keely points to the boy and August rushes out of the river. Keely rises from sunbathing in a bikini while Chris and August admire her incredible figure from a far. August is searching for critters under the rocks with several small children. Keely and Chris are watching. August captures a small snake and waves it in front of the kids. They all go running. INT. CHRIS'S CAR - DAY Keely and August are in the back seat exhausted from a long day. Keely rests her head on August and shuts her eyes knowing shes safe. August displays a face of content and happiness of which has never been seen. END OF MONTAGE EXT. KEELY'S HOUSE FRONT DOOR - NIGHT August and Keely exit Chris's Car. They walk up to the front door. AUGUST (CONTD) Thanks man. CHRIS I'll see you tonight. See ya Keely. KEELY Thanks Chris. AUGUST I had a great time. KEELY Me too. AuGUST So what are you doing right now? Keely I need to study at some point. Do you want to come in for a little bit? AuGUST Sure. Int. Keely house bedroom - night Keely walks toward her bedroom as August follows. They both enter and sit on her bed. There are two cats sleeping on the bed. Her posters are of independent directors and classic films. Keely This is Jake and Elwood. August Hey guys. August roughly pets both cats who purr in delight. August (CONTD) I have this song I wrote about cats I was thinking about performing. Its kind of silly. 000200000DBA0000F570DB4,Keely You should play it next open mic. AUGUST It requires a dozen or so real cats which need to be able to sing in key. KEELY I think you may be out of luck there. So what do you want to do? AuGUST Maybe I can help you study. August grabs a book off the night stand. August (CONTD) The five Cs of Cinematography? Do you know what those are? Keely Yeah, do you? August Creativity, um, contour, circumcision, castration, and cauliflower. Keely playfully jostles for the book. August grabs her hand and they wrestle on the bed. The cats run out of the room. Keely Youre totally wrong! August pins Keely. AuGUST What are they then? Keely Camera angles, continuity, cutting, close-ups, and composition. August Ill assume thats right. Keely It is. August Heres for being my star student. August starts pecking her softly on the neck. They passionately kiss. Keely I never asked you, how old are you? AuGUST Stage age or real age? Keely Real age. AuGUST Well, I could be your youthful uncle. Im 29. Keely More like my dad! August Does your dad kiss like this? They start kissing again. Keely is cringing and slightly turning away. Keely Yuck! AuGUST How old are you? Keely Im 21. AuGUST Cool. They continue kissing and make love. They lie next to each other on the bed staring at the ceiling. AuGUST (CONTD) I have to go clean. I cant be late again. Keely Thats no fun! AuGUST Yeah.... I get to go touch old lady tampons and clean up baby diarrhea for 4 hours. Keely (laughs) Well call me tomorrow. AuGUST I will. Good night! August kisses Keely goodbye. Keely You do wash your hands when you get done, right? August (sarcastic) Of course. INT. HEALTH CLUB - NIGHT August and Chris are cleaning the inside of a drained pool. Chris You wouldnt believe how many kids shit and piss in this thing. AuGUST Seriously? CHRIS Oh yeah. Looks like you and Keely were hitting it off pretty well today. AUgust Yeah, shes an amazing girl. CHRIS Uh oh, has our gritty rock star fallen for the delicate poet? AUGUST No, she's just super cool. CHRIS You think you'll get serious? AUGUST Well, is inserting my penis in her vagina considered serious these days? CHRIS You dog! You closed that. AuGUST I dont know how, shes certainly a notch above the usual mopeds Im waking up with. Chris What are mopeds? August Big girls. You enjoy the ride but you dont want your friends to see you on it. Chris laughs out loud. Theresa enters carrying a vacuum. Theresa Hey guys. Chris Hey Theresa. AuGUST Hey. Theresa You all are certainly in a good mood tonight. Chris August is telling dirty jokes. THERESA (to August) I'm glad to see you're a little more sober tonight. Not to mention I had to clean the whole club myself. AUGUST Im totally sorry about that Theresa. If you want to go home early tonight Ill do all your work. THERESA That's all right. Just dont do it to me again. AUGUST Cool. Thanks. THERESA You know there's someone in my life who may be able to help you get through your tough times right now. AUGUST I appreciate the suggestion but I'm going to be just fine. THERESA Okay, I'll see you fellows on break. Theresa leaves the pool room. AUGUST Does she mean Jesus? CHRIS Oh yeah. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE FAMILY ROOM - DAY Tara and Troubador are playing scrabble. TROUBADOR (raised voice) AA is a word. It's in the official scrabble dictionary. The one I can't seem to find. TARA What does it mean? TROUBADOR It's a hot cindery lava of some type. 000200000CD800010324CD2,TARA No way you're bluffing. Let me get my dictionary. TROUBADOR It's not going to be in the collegiate one. We need the official Scrabble dictionary. I believe someone stole mine. August walks in wearing pajama bottoms and a tee shirt. TROUBADOR (CONTD) Did you borrow my official scrabble dictionary? AUGUST Can I get a good morning first? TrouBADOR Morning. Tara Hi honey. AUGUST Hey. No I did not borrow your official league sanctioned scrabble dictionary. Nor did I borrow the little boy mags, rubber slinkys, or your sneaky Petes. TARA Sneaky Petes! What are those? Tara hits Troubador with a pillow in a playful manner. August sits on the couch next to Tara. She rubs his back. TROUBADOR Everything I have in there is fully legal under Arizona Revised Statutes. Troubador is taking forever to find a word. TARA Come on, times up! TROUBADOR Hold on, I can almost go out. AUGUST (whispers) Tara, I kind of need to talk with you about something. Tara About what? August Its kind of about us. Troubador is laying down tiles but then takes them off the board. The words are mostly sexual in nature. Tara shifts her letters around. Tara What about us? AuGUST Im kind of seeing someone else and were kind of serious. TARA Who is she? AUGUST Someone I met before you. TARA You suck! Tara flips over the scrabble board and stomps off toward her bedroom. At the same time theres a knock at the door. TROUBADOR Brilliantly played August. August gets up to answer the door. Troubador is still rearranging his scrabble letters. Chris Hey man. August What are you doing here? Chris My buddies Matt and Jordy are outside. Were heading to the titty bar. August Titty bar? Are they even open right now. TroubADOR (O.S.) Damn it, I had Jalapeno! Chris Yeah, Jordy just called. August Hold on one minute. August walks out of the family room and toward Taras bedroom. Chris stands with the door open. Troubador smiles at him. Chris How you doing? Troubador Currently, Im doing no one. Chris gives Troubador an awkward look. August (O.S.) Come on Tara, I just want to talk. Tara (O.S.) Go away! A large stuffed giraffe goes flying across the floor. August re-enters. August All right, lets get out of here. EXT. College house - day August and Chris exit the house. Chris What was that all about? August I was sleeping with my room-mate and just told her about Keely. August enters the jeep and greets Matt and Jordy. Chris mumbles to himself before getting in. Chris Hes a fucking rockstar! INT. STRIP CLUB - DAY WAITRESS Hi boys, what are you having? CHRIS Let's go with 4 beers and 4 shots. WAITRESS You got it baby! August So whats the occasion? Chris Matt and Jordy are old Air Force buddies of mine. Theyre on leave. August You were in the Airforce? Chris Yeah we were all aircraft mechanics. AuGUST If you were a mechanic, how come your car runs like shit? Chris We worked on F-16s not Chryslers. Different components and everything. August is perplexed. Jordy is nodding. Jordy Totally different. The waitress brings over their shots. They all salute. CHRIS I'm so thankful I'm out! STRIPPER #1 Any you guys want a dance? CHRIS Let me get these two guys a dance. August, you good? AUGUST I'm cool. STRIPPER #1 Follow me boys! 00020000082300010FF681D,Matt and Jordy leave with the stripper behind a curtain. AUGUST They seem cool. CHRIS Yeah, I've known them awhile. AUGUST So when are we going to get some songs down? CHRIS Let's do it tomorrow. Maybe we can start looking for a drummer and a bass. AUGUST I put up some flyers, but no ones responded yet. CHRIS Do you have any name's for the band? AUGUST Im glad you asked. I actually have a list. August pulls out a crinkled cocktail napkin. August (CONTD) We have Rusty Trombone and the Tossed Salad. Chris Not bad. AUGUST Aberrational Behavior, Adultery with a Negro. CHRIS That may offend our black listeners. AUGUST Yeah. Theres Hooker with a runny nose and Dildo Faggins. CHRIS I like Dildo Faggins. AUGUST I kind of like Hooker with a runny nose. CHRIS They might think were a chick band. AUGUST Yeah, youre right. Matt and Jordy return from receiving lap dances. MATT You guys sure missed out. AUGUST I dont know, some of these girls look a little weathered. Chris Look at that one over there. She has about as much sex appeal as an orphanage fire. JORDY You two are just a bunch of homos! All four of them have moved to the front of the strippers pole. Matt comes over with more shots. AUGUST Shit, not more shots. JORDY Oh yeah. Sweet, a blonde! MATT I think Jordy is in love! CHRIS You guys seen enough? JORDY Man, I want to try and go home with that chick! AUGUST Theres a few cuties. Matt I think August is starting to come around. August You get a few drinks in me and I turn into an ASU sorority girl. CHRIS Man, Im out of cash. You horn dogs ready to roll? AuGUST Yeah, lets get out of here. EXT. STRIP CLUB - NIGHT They all stagger toward Chris's car. AUgust (CONTD) You okay to drive? CHRIS Nope. Chris drops his keys trying to open his Jeep. AUgust Don't take it personally. I'm gonna walk. CHRIS What! I'm a hell of a drunk driver. AUGUST I know, years of practice. Later. CHRIS We'll see ya buddy. Chris runs over a trash can while pulling out of the parking lot. Jordy and Matt are laughing in the back seat. 000200000D6200011813D5C,EXT. STRIP CLUB PAY PHONE - NIGHT AUGUST (slightly slurred) Is Keely there? ROOM-MATE (V.O.) Hold on. Is Keely here? SECOND ROOM-MATE (V.O.) Shes at the library. Room-mate Shes at the library. AUGUST Can you tell her August called? ROOM-MATE (V.O.) I'll let her know. AUgust Thanks. Two strippers exit the club and walk next to August. DAKOTA Aren't you the guy in there who ignored us all night? AUgust I was letting my friends have all the fun. DAKOTA Your two buddies blew about $500 in lap dances. AUgust They're in the Air Force and havent seen a vag in about 2 years. Sativa whispers in Dakota's ear. DAKOTA We're heading over to a party? You want to come? AUgust Ah, no Thanks. I'm cool. DAKOTA Alright, have a great night. SATIVA See ya! August ponders his decision for a few seconds then the alcohol gets the better of him. AUgust Hey! Can you give me a ride home later? SATIVA Of course. August jogs over to their car and gets in. INT. STRIPPERS APARTMENT - NIGHT Its a small party atmosphere with drug use in the room. DAKOTA Hey everybody, this is our new friend, what's your name? AUgust August. SATIVA This is August guys. Go ahead and make yourself a cocktail. August mixes himself a drink in the kitchen. He returns from the kitchen and sits down on the couch next to, Charles, 27, black, clean cut. Charles is doing coke by himself. CHARLES Hey man, you want one? AUGUST (jokingly) No, I did some heroin earlier. Charles does not smile and makes August feel uncomfortable. AUGUST (CONTD) You guys certainly live up to the stereotype. CHARLES What are you talking about? AUGUST This is my first stripper party. It's kind of what I would have expected. You know, coke on the table, chicks making out. CHARLES And who am I the pimp? AUGUST No. I'm not saying that. DAKOTA (O.S.) Hey Charles, this guy has a legal question for you. AUGUST Legal question? CHARLES I'm an attorney. AUGUST (sarcastic) That's what I assumed. August gets up and searches for the bath-room. INT. STRIPPER APARTMENT HALLWAY - NIGHT August waits in the hallway for the bathroom to become available. DAKOTA Hey sweetie, you having fun? AUGUST Yeah somewhat. I may of insulted your attorney friend. DAKOTA It's about to get much better. INT. Stripper apartment bedroom - night Dakota grabs August's hand and leads him into the bedroom. She pushes him up against the wall. Sativa walks out of the bathroom and joins them. They all start kissing. AUGUST Wow, you girls don't fool around (pause) when it comes to fooling around. Dakota unzips August's pants and rubs his private part. AUGUST (CONTD) I've got to stop. I'm spinning. DAKOTA Mmmm. AUGUST Come on stop it. Ive got a girlfriend. SATIVA You're a good kisser. AUGUST I had way too much, I've got to sit down. SATIVA We're just getting started with you. AUGUST Seriously Ive got to stop. I'm spinning like crazy. DAKOTA Nope, you're all ours. CUT TO: EXT. PLAYGROUND - DAY Young kids are playing on a merry-go-round. EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK ROLLER COASTER - DAY A young family enjoys the loop on a roller coaster. EXT. SKY ABOVE DESERT - DAY A parachutist spins out of control. INT. SUBURBAN HOME LIVING ROOM - DAY A young boy enjoys his new sit-n-spin, then vomits. August forcefully withdraws from kissing Sativa and pukes in Dakota's hair. DAKOTA (CONTD) You mother fucker! SATIVA I can't believe you invited this guy. AUGUST Sorry! 0002000006640001256F65E,EXT. STRIPPER APARTMENT COURTYARD AREA - NIGHT August races out the bedroom door and stumbles across a grassy courtyard. DAKOTA Loser! Get me a towel Sativa! EXT. STRIPPER APARTMENT PARKING LOT - NIGHT August catches his breath and wipes off the puke from his nose and mouth. He is astonished to see a set of car keys in the grass. He clicks the unlock button and a new VW Jetta alarm flashes from a full parking lot. AUGUST No way. INT. VW JETTA - NIGHT August drives the stick shift recklessly along narrow downtown streets while riding the clutch. Hes trying to read cds as he drives. Hes distracted by two girls wearing mini skirts and clips the handlebar of a bicyclist. BICYCLE RIDER Asshole! AUGUST Cool, the dead. EXT. DOWNTOWN CITY - NIGHT August hits a homeless man who is crossing the street illegally and goes flying over the front of the car. August slams on the brakes and immediately gets out to see if the man is okay. He recognizes the homeless fellow. AUGUST (CONTD) I want my shrimp back! Theres a large amount of watchers who close in to assess the situation. August panics and flees behind a building toward his house. Police arrive unusually quick with their sirens. The homeless man lies in the road hurt but not seriously injured. POLICE OFFICER Anyone see what happen here? An older couple describes the situation to the police and gives a description and direction of where August was running. POLICE OFFICER (CONTD) We're going to need an ambulance here at the south corner of Aspen and Birch. All units, we have a suspect on foot about 5'10, white male, medium build, about 160 lbs. 00020000072600012BCD720,EXT. COLLEGE HOUSE FAMILY ROOM - NIGHT Troubador is watching E.T. all by himself in the dark. Hes slightly crying and sniffling. August is trying to catch his breath. TROUBADOR Hi August. AUGUST Hey Troub. Are you crying? Troubador nods while rubbing his nose with tissues. TROUBADOR Im watching E.T. AUGUST Oh, when the flower grows? Troubador just nods as his eyes are fixated to the tv. August (CONTD) Good night. TROUBADOR Night. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE AUGUST BEDROOM - NIGHT August notices a note on his bedroom door. It reads Keely called. He collapses on the bed and passes out. INT. COLLEGE HOUSE - DAY Chris knocks on the bedroom door awakening August from his sleep. AUGUST Yeah? CHRIS Open up man, its Chris. August is still sluggish from a night of heavy drinking. AUGUST Hey. CHRIS You're still sleeping? AUGUST Yeah, rough night. CHRIS What do you mean? AUGUST After you guys left the strip club, two dancers wanted to go hang out. CHRIS Alright! AUGUST I ended up at some party. Then the night just spiraled out of control. CHRIS You're hanging out with strippers and you didn't call me. Matt and Jordy would have been all over that. AUGUST I'm sorry man. It kind of just happened. Chris sees officers pulling up to the front of the house. CHRIS Theres a bunch of cops walking up to your house. EXT. COLLEGE HOUSE - DAY Several officers knock on the door. Margaret answers. POLICE OFFICER Good morning ma'am. MARGARET Good morning. POLICE OFFICER There was a hit and run last night involving a stolen vehicle. Witnesses saw a man running toward this neighborhood. MARGARET How can I help? POLICE OFFICER Does anyone living here match this description: White male, 5'10, 160 lbs. Chris and August are quietly listening. MARGARET We have a room-mate that kind of matches that description. 000200000C1E000132EDC18,POLICE OFFICER Do you mind if we come in and ask him a few questions? MARGARET Sure, his room is in the back. August exits the back door. The officers clearly see him fleeing. POLICE OFFICER He just ran out the back! August stumbles over an old vine ridden metal fence and runs through the back yard of a neighbor's house. The police are clearly behind him. A large black police officer surprises August as he's running around the corner and knocks him out with a body slam tackle. INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY August is questioned by detectives and has an ice pack on the back of his head. AUgust What hit me? DETECTIVE That was Officer Lewis. He was a linebacker in High School. AUGUST Why didn't he go pro? DETECTIVE All right August, the fun is over. You've been charged with auto theft, fleeing a scene, felony hit and run, and aggravated assault with a vehicle. AUGUST I have no idea what youre talking about. DETECTIVE We've got your prints all over the steering wheel and on some grateful dead cd cases. AUGUST Can I get an attorney? DETECTIVE Sure. You're actually quite lucky. AUGUST Why is that? DETECTIVE The bum you hit only had minor injuries. You could of killed him. AUGUST So if I talk can we work out some sort of deal? DETECTIVE All I can do is tell the judge you fully cooperated. Do you want to give a statement and let us know what happened? AUGUST Heres the deal. I'm not a car thief. I just needed a way to get home and the opportunity kind of presented itself. DETECTIVE Go on. AUGUST I was leaving a party and saw some keys laying in the grass. I hit the remote and a car beeped in front of me, so I got in it and drove home. I was gonna return it the next day. DETECTIVE It sounds like you had an error in judgement. AUGUST Yeah. DETECTIVE Explain this to your defense attorney. Maybe he can work out something with the judge. AUGUST You don't think I'm going to go to jail for this, do you? DETECTIVE You're in jail right now, aren't you? INT. COLLEGE HOUSE KITCHEN - DAY All three room-mates sit at the table wondering how to handle the situation. TROUBADOR If he's found guilty, there's a high probability we won't see him for awhile. MARGARET We should of done a background check on him. TROUBADOR You know Margaret you really could of told the police something else. MARGARET I'm not going to get charged with aiding and abiding because of some low life room-mate I've said hello to a couple times. TARA How are we going to pay rent? I can't cover his share. TROUBADOR I think we should wait a day or so and see if he comes back. TARA Maybe one of us can call down there and see what's happening? TROUBADOR I nominate you Tara. TARA Why me? TROUBADOR Given the fact you slept with him, clearly entitles you that responsibility. MARAGARET You slept with August? TARA I regret it. MARAGARET I'm off to school. You guys figure it out. I'm not getting evicted because of that loser! TARA I've got to go too. I'll call down there when I get back. See ya. TROUBADOR (to self) Ah, musician bad boys. Troubador sips his fancy coffee. 000200000CC300013F05CBD,INT. POLICE JAIL CELL - DAY August is still in his pajamas. OFFICER Your attorney should be down here later to talk with you. AuGUST Officer, they never gave me a phone call. OFFICER You haven't called anyone? AUGUST No. OFFICER All right come with me. INT. POLICE JAIL PAY PHONE - DAY August dials while the officers play grand theft auto. OFFICER (CONTD) You've got 10 minutes. CHRIS (V.O.) Hello. AUGUST Chris, it's August. CHRIS (V.O.) Man, what the hell happened? AUGUST Oh dude, it was an insane night. CHRIS (V.O.) I saw that cop tackle you as I was driving away. AUGUST Yeah, he knocked me out. CHRIS (V.O.) What did you do last night? AUGUST I kind of stole a car. CHRIS (V.O.) What the hell were you thinking? A new arrest is arguing in the background. AUGUST Yeah, I don't know. CHRIS (V.O.) I wish I could help. AUGUST If you see me in a couple days it's all good. If not then I'm screwed. CHRIS (v.O.) If I don't hear from you I'll come down there and check it out. AUGUST Thanks man. I need to call Keely and let her know. CHRIS (V.O.) Be safe brother! AUGUST I'll see ya. August dials again. INT. KEELY HOUSE LAUNDRY ROOM - DAY Keely has phone in one hand and is unloading groceries. Shes cutting up the plastic 6-pack holders. INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION KEELY (excited) Hello. AUGUST Hey Keely it's August. KEELY I was wondering what happened to you. I tried calling you last night. AUGUST Hey Im kind of in the clinker. KEELY Youre in jail? AUGUST Yeah, do you think you can come down and I'll explain everything. KEELY I'll leave right now. INT. POLICE JAIL CELL BENCH - DAY August lays down on a metal bench staring at the ceiling. OFFICER You've got a visitor. KEELY Oh my god! What happened? AUGUST Chris and his friends dragged me to a strip club and I ended up getting all drunk and stealing a car. KEELY What were you thinking August? AUGUST I don't know. I hit some dude and there's all these ridiculous charges. KEELY Did you get an attorney? AUGUST They appointed one. He should be here shortly. KEELY What do you need from me? Do you need any money? AUGUST Im okay for now. Theyll probably just give me some community service. But hey, I need to let you know about something. KEELY What? AUGUST I kind of made another huge mistake last night. Have you heard the term Irish Handshake? KEELY What are you talking about? AUGUST Some strippers attacked me and one of them briefly touched my downstairs. KEELY I can't believe you. AUGUST I'm sorry. I was drunk. KEELY Did you fuck her? AUGUST No, I actually puked on her then ran off. KEELY I can't believe you did that to me. AUGUST Keely listen. You're the only one I wan to be with. A bunch of things happened I had no control over. KEELY This changes everything. AUGUST Keely, it was totally meaningless and stupid. KEELY (angrily sarcastic) Thanks, that makes it better. Ive got to go. Keely leaves the cell emotionally devastated and heartbroken. August is distressed as well and disgusted by his actions. He punches the metal bench several times. AUGUST Fuck! INT. COUNTY JAIL - DAY August enters the jail glancing at the men he feels intellectually above. The jail consists of multiple bunk beds laid out in rows in a gymnasium. 00020000063300014BC262D,AUgust (V.O) (CONTD) They gave me 3 months in jail. I know it doesnt sound like much but for someone like me its a lifetime. I never thought I'd miss sleeping in my car but at least there I had my privacy (pause) and my freedom. MONTAGE - DAILY PRISONER LIFE EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY August and others pick trash along highway. EXT. CITY PARK - DAY August mows the outfield grass of a baseball field. INT. Jail cafeteria - day August eats alone. INT. Jail bunk bed - night August carves his soap. INT. KEELY BEDROOM - DAY She receives a package from August which contains a soap bar carved into a heart reading August plus Keely. Also enclosed is a bad drawing of Keely holding a first place world poetry contest trophy. Second and third place winners in the drawing are Robert Frost and Henry Longfellow. The letter reads: August (v.o.) Dear Keely, I hope you enjoy the drawing and the soap heart. It was the only thing theyd let me carve using my guitar pick. Its weird, it seems every time I shower someone drops their soap next to me. Im not sure what that means. Just kidding. Anyway, I miss our laughs and the time we spent together. I think youre incredible in every aspect. I get out in a couple weeks and can only hope youll see me. Locked up, August. EXT. COUNTY JAIL - DAY August walks out the prison door. Theres a beautiful view of the mountains amidst a glorious sunny day. EXT. COLLEGE HOUSE - DAY August knocks on the front door, Tara answers. Tara August! You're out! Tara gives August a hug. She has no ill feelings toward him. AUGUST 0002000009D5000151EF9CF,Its nice to touch a woman. Together they enter the house. Troubador is sitting on the couch reading. AuGUST (CONTD) Hey Troubador. TROUBADOR August. I hope you brought back some phone numbers for me. AUGUST I didnt. But I did miss your dry sense of humor. TARA We had to get a new room-mate. AUGUST Im just here to get my stuff. Wheres the Volvo? TARA It got impounded. AUGUST Shit, really? TARA I think Margaret may have called the police and had them remove it. There was an orange sticker on it for awhile. AUGUST She's such a bitch. How about my stuff? My guitar and everything? AUGUST (CONTD) Chris and I packed most of it. It's all in the back shed. AUGUST (CONTD) Cool thanks, I totally appreciate it. TARA Troubador helped. AUGUST Thanks Troub. TARA We called down to the jail and they told us what happened. So what are you going to do? AUGUST I don't know. TARA We would let you stay here but I think Margaret would freak out. AUGUST No worries. I guess I'll see you guys around. TARA Call me if you want to hang out or you need anything. TROUBADOR Ta-ta. AUGUST Thanks. EXT. COLLEGE HOUSE BACK YARD SHED - DAY August grabs his stuff from the shed and walks toward the bar carrying his guitar case and a plastic bag of personal items. INT. CHARLY'S BAR - DAY Chris is breaking down his equipment on stage. KEVIN What will it be Mr. hit and run? AUGUST How about a free whiskey for a newly released felon? Chris turns around as he recognizes the voice. KEVIN Sure. But only because you tamed that wild shrew which continues to elude me. AUGUST I take it youre referring to Keely. Kevin nods and fetches August a shot of Irish Whiskey. Chris walks up to August and they hug. CHRIS Good to see you brother. How does it feel to be free? AUGUST Oh man, It was a tough 3 months. CHRIS An east coast snob like yourself really has no business mingling with petty criminals. AUGUST The food was worse than the inmates. CHRIS So what are you gonna do? AUGUST Im gonna go try and see Keely. Hopefully I can work some magic. ChRIS She was in here about a month ago. I told her it was pretty much my fault for taking you there. Kevin August, guys like you and me cant be expected to be with just one woman. As the saying goes, youre only as faithful as your options. AUGUST Thanks Kevin, but that advice or philosophy really doesnt help me right now. August finishes his shot and prepares to leave. CHRIS Alright bro, go give her some of that August charm. AUGUST 00020000024800015BBE242,I only hope its not too late. Thanks for the drink, kev. Kevin (raised voice) August, remember, time does have a way of forgiving all that is true. August glances back at the bar in a perplexed manner before heading out. Chris Wow Kev, that was fuckn touching. Kevin I have my moments. EXT. KEELY'S HOUSE - DAY August knocking. COLLEGE GIRL Can I help you? AUGUST Hi, is Keely around? COLLEGE GIRL She left for film school last week. AUGUST Film School? COLLEGE GIRL Yeah, she got accepted to UCLA. AUGUST Cool, thanks. August walks off depressed. EXT. CITY PARK - DAY 000200000D6B00015E00D65,August sits on the park bench pondering his gloomy future. After a few seconds he rises and walks off. EXT. INTERSTATE 40 - DAY August walks along the highway with grey duct tape on his guitar case reading L.A. He turns back and holds his case up when he hears a vehicle approaching. After a few cars pass him by, an 18 wheeler stops for him. EXT. INTERSTATE 40 - DAY They pass the Williams, Arizona and Grand Canyon exit. EXT. INTERSTATE 40 - night They pass the Arizona border and the sign reading, Welcome to California. August lays his head down on the window trying to stay awake. EXT. INTERSTATE 40 - NIGHT August stares out the window daydreaming. EXT. INTERSTATE 10 LOS ANGELES AREA - DAY The highway is unusually calm and not congested. INT. VOLVO 18 WHEELER - DAY Truck driver It's time to wake up boy. August wakes from a brief sleep. AUGUST Are we here? Truck driver I'm letting you off at the ramp. EXT. INTERSTATE OFF RAMP - DAY The truck driver pulls over at the off ramp to let August out. Truck driver (CONTD) All right kid, be safe. This is a dangerous city. AUGUST Thanks for the ride. EXT. LOS ANGELES BUS STOP - DAY August exits the city bus and is surrounded by pan handlers, street thugs, & crazy homeless people. His anxiety heightens. INT. Los angeles bus stop pay phone - day August ruffles through the phone book then dials. Switchboard operator UCLA admissions, this is Jenny. August Hey Jenny, Im trying to find the phone number of a friend that just started school last week. SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR Whats the name please? August Keely McConnell. SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR Sir, I have her in my system however its an off campus number. For security reasons were unable to give those out. AUGUST I really need to get in touch with her. SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR Sir, all I can suggest is that you wait for her to get a hold of you. AUGUST Thanks. A frustrated August hangs up the phone. INT. LOS ANGELES SOCIAL SERVICES - DAY Social services building is the size of a warehouse with hundreds of minorities yelling and complaining. August is overwhelmed by the confusion and noise. He leaves his place in line and hastily exits the building. He steps around the corner of the building into an alley where he breaks down and weeps due to the stress of feeling alone in a big city. Two young black men with a pit bull approach suspiciously. One of them lunges for Augusts backpack while the other releases the dog onto August. Mugger #1 Get em Sophie! August desperately blocks the dogs bites with his guitar case. The second mugger kicks August while the dog is trying to bite. A bystander yells at the muggers from the street and they disperse with just his backpack. His guitar case has bite marks all over it. AUGUST You need your dog to mug me, you fuckin pussies! After a few moments of sobbing August composes self. He picks up his guitar and in a determined manner faces his big city fears and walks down the street. MONTAGE - AUGUST HOMELESS IN LOS ANGELES (split screen) EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD - DAY August plays for tourists while they fill his case with spare change. EXT. VENICE BEACH - DAY August sits at the beach and enjoys the eccentric street performers. EXT. UCLA CAMPUS - DAY August sits at the union square in hopes of seeing Keely. INT. Humane society - day August cleans the cats water bowls and empties their litter boxes. He again takes them on walks. 000200000BCF00016B65BC9,EXT. SANTA MONICA BEACH PIER - NIGHT August gazes into the ocean while sipping a beer and enjoying the serenity. Hes playing guitar and jotting lyrics on a napkin as if hes writing a new song. INT. LOS ANGELES BUS - DAY August ignores a crazy black man who is talking to himself while seated next to August. EXT. SANTA MONICA BEACH RETAINING WALL - NIGHT August lays against the wall falling in and out of sleep. EXT. HIGHLAND COFFEE SHOP - NIGHT August enters coffee shop. The door guy stops him. DOOR GUY It's a $3 cover. AUGUST I'm performing, hence the guitar. DOOR GUY You still have to pay. AUGUST I have to pay $3 to play at an open mic? DOOR GUY Yep. August reluctantly pays the door man. AUGUST Enjoy. Its about 50% of my net worth. INT. HIGHLAND COFFEE SHOP - NIGHT Its a very cool and trendy ambiance. The musicians look and act as if they've all ready won a Grammy. August weaves through the crowd to the stage area where theres folks huddled around the sound board guy. AUGUST (CONTD) Hey guys, I called earlier, Im August Dakers. ROB Cat Boy! How are you? Im Rob the host. AUGUST Nice to meet you. OPEN MIC ASSISTANT Youre the one doing the cat song? AUGUST Yeah, Im called August Dakers and the Pride. ROB This should be interesting. Weve never had live cats perform before. I hope theyre all neutered. AUGUST Were gonna start getting the stage and the animals set up. ROB I have you guys going first, so hurry up. Youre on in 20 minutes. AUGUST Cool. August and a few other volunteers from the humane society franticly set up behind stage. Meows echo throughout the coffee shop. Keely and her date unexpectedly arrive and sit down toward the back which is unbeknown to August. Gabriel Is this an animal shelter or an open mic? What time you reading at? Keely I go on in an hour. It sounds like real cats. GABRIEL I hate fuckin cats. Keely gives Gabriel a disconcerted look. Open mic assistant What is this guy doing? Rob It sounds like hes got a hundred cats in there. OPEN MIC ASSISTANT Rob its time. Rob approaches the stage and addresses the microphone. ROB Thank you guys for coming out to L.A.s largest and coolest open mic. I dont know how to describe this first act so lets give a big hand for August Dakers and the Pride. Theres an enormous applause. Keely is completely shocked. GabRIEL Whats wrong with you? Keely I totally know this guy. The curtain rises and August is wearing an orange cat outfit. Behind him are several cats in a row on separate stools with microphones in front of them. Theyre surprisingly somewhat behaved. The lights are dimmed where you can only see August and the cats. Cheesy looking props come down through out the song and volunteers pet the cats behind to make them meow. AUGUST Ive got blue eyes and an orange coat, a tail that shows Im a cat. My day consists of chasing mice, butterflies, and indoor gnats. Props of butterflies are being lowered. The cats in the background swipe at them. 0002000007A40001772E79E,August (CONTD) My neighborhood is filled with cats, fighting for territory. When they approach I say no, no, no, well share this land equally. The volunteers start petting the cats bottoms to make them meow for the chorus. AUGUST (CONTD) I go meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meoooow! Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. GaBRIEL This is soooo stupid! Keely This is hilarious! August I love to watch August play guitar, hes my favorite human. Cause late at night when Im stuck outside, hes comes down and lets me in. Cause I went: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Then one night my owners arrived, they said they had a friend for me. They laid down this box and low and behold, out came a tabby bout 6 weeks old, crying: The spotlight shines onto a single tabby kitten sitting on the stool with the faintest of meows. August lets the kitten meow by itself for the chorus. Open MIC ASSISTANT Thats so cute. AUGUST Everyone now! The lights focus on all the cats during the final chorus. Some of the crowd joins in. Keely participates in the meowing. GabRIEL What is this romper room for adults? AUGUST No, not a kitten. Hell get all the attention. I dont want to share my litter box. Less petting for me! The adult cats are getting restless and start hissing at each other and misbehaving. Theyve jumped off their stools and are now chasing each other and knocking over drinks through out the coffee house. The volunteers are trying desperately to catch them. August is still singing the chorus. August (CONTD) Bad kitties! Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. GaBRIEL Lets go! Im allergic! Keely reluctantly follows Gabriel out the door. The coffee house is in pandemonium. August sits helplessly on the stage watching everything unfold. 000200000C9D00017ECCC97,LATER THAT EVENING August is sitting with the host Rob and his assistant at a table drinking a beer. Things are calm and a typical singer songwriter is on stage. Rob Ive got to say August, that was some pretty crazy shit earlier. OpEN MIC ASSISTANT It was so funny, everyone was laughing. August Maybe next time Ill use puppets. Im guessing theyre a little more reliable than feral strays. A group of college kids on their way out praise August. College kids All right Cat boy! August Thanks. All right guys, Im gonna get out of here. Thanks for putting up with my shenanigans. Rob Not at all man, it was the funniest thing Ive seen in a long time. You need to do like a video or something. AUGUST Yeah, maybe. Have a good night. ROB See ya man. OpEN MIC ASSISTANT Take care. EXT. HIGHLANDS COFFEE SHOP ENTRANCE - EVENING August exits the coffee shop and strolls up the street. Hes got a plastic bag of stuff and his guitar. He looks like a vagrant. EXT. HIGHLANDS BLVD - NIGHT Bum Spare any change? AUgust Dude, youre asking me? A vehicle slowly drive's up behind August and parks. August is oblivious and unconcerned. Keely gets out and quietly walks up behind him. KEELY "You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go. You'll look up and down streets, look them over with care. About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there." August is astonished to see Keely. AUgust With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street. How did you know I was here? KEELY I saw your little cat fiasco. AUgust Yeah, what did you think? Prior to the cats freaking out? KEELY I loved it! Where did you get all those cats and volunteers? AUGUST Humane Society. They said theyd help me out because of all the free time I spend there. KEELY So what are doing in L.A.? I thought you were afraid of the big city? AUGUST I came out here for you! Youre the only thing that matters to me. KEELY You screwed up August. You really hurt me. AUGUST Im sorry Keely, I cant change that. The only thing I can change or at least try to change is our future together. I hitch hiked all the way out here and tried to find you at UCLA but they wouldnt give me your number. Ive been hanging out on campus for the past five days just hoping Id run into you. KEELY Its a pretty big campus. AUGUST (laughs) Yeah I know. Security was definitely getting suspicious. So, do you want to try this again? Keely pulls a necklace out from under her shirt. Its the soap bar that August carved for her which shes converted to a necklace. They hug for several seconds. August (CONTD) Wow, you turned it into a necklace? Keely Now I dont have to wear deodorant. AUGUST (Irish accent) I thought I smelled Irish Spring. Fresh and clean as a whistle! They hold hands and walk slowly back to her car. The Irish Spring commercial jingle starts. KEELY So how was jail? AUGUST (jokingly) Not bad. I was only raped like 5 times. KEELY So you cheated on me six times? AUGUST Only once willingly! August and Keely enter her car and drive away. THE END 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Important!# Information?" 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