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Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Simpatico – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by Zach Zupke

Simpatico (21 pages in pdf format) by Libby Chambers

Two know-it-all friends believing themselves to be the authorities on love, sex, dating, and finding ‘the one’ recount the events of a one night stand.

Tennis can be a difficult endeavor. Strength, endurance and determination are required to even mildly succeed. Footwork, hand-eye coordination and cunning strategy take no backseat. Factor in the dimension of doubles play and the complexities double equally. The court expands. Communication is paramount and the volleys require cat-like reflexes during the exhilarating, ping-pong-on-steroids shootouts.

Like tennis, Libby Chambers’ “Simpatico” challenges the senses, hitting point after relationship point. A classic Australian Open match on paper, its characters crush poignant forehand observations and trade clever backhand quips, making the script worthy of center court applause.

The story begins with “INT. HOTEL – BEER GARDEN.” This script had me at “INT.” When the dialogue is served and the love story unfolds, it feels like you’re sitting next to the characters, sharing a glass of wine with Melissa (a buxom, outspoken brunette) and Ann (short, round and modest). Melissa confides to Ann: “I felt something really real between us, you know?”

“What, his penis?” Ann returns. Game on.

It’s also “on” across the garden as we chug a pint with 30-somethings Bob and Chad, who tells-all about his previous night’s date, “If you’d asked me at the start of the night, I’d have said dust off that penguin suit, fella”,” but it was a rather awkward finale.”

And – speaking of awkward: Chad and Melissa are dishing gossip about each other, with no clue they’re sitting just a handful of seats away.

She was a bit too full on, you
know. Gave off this vibe.

I really think this guy might
be the one.

And so it goes, from opposite ends of the hotel. Back and forth they lob insights and serve momentum, revealing Bob and Ann – who have not met – may actually be perfect for one another. But, will they ever discover they’re at the same beer garden? Will true love miss its chance by sheer meters?

Chad and Melissa do eventually spot each other and the story escalates in fine fashion:

“Do you suppose she followed me?”

“Do you suppose he’s stalking me?”

“Oh shit, is she headed this way? I’m off for a leak.”

“This is where I play it super cool and slip off to the lady’s room.”

Chad and Melissa sneak to their respective hiding holes without noticing the other’s doing likewise. Bob and Ann do the same, both headed for the bar…

As for “Simpatico”, it’s surely headed for production and a round of success. Game, set, and match – comic relationship fun at its best.

Budget: Location cost is pint-sized – any non-fancy hotel or pub will do.

A Top Three Finalist in the LA Comedy Festival Screenplay Contest

About the writer: Libby Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She has also worked professionally as a freelance web-content editor and proofreader. She is thrilled her first ever entry into a Screenplay Comp – The LA Comedy Festival ‘Short’ screenplay division took out Top 3 Finalist and hopes the high placing will be a continuing trend. 🙂 Libby would love to see her words come to life on screen – and has another screenplay coming soon – a family friendly coming of age Drama – ‘Scooter’. She lives with her husband (also a screenwriter) in Sydney, Australia, and describes him as being both a good and a bad influence on her writing. You can contact Libby at libbych “AT” hotmail

About the reviewer: An LA based writer, Zach Zupke can be contacted via email at zzupke “AT” yahoo

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Change of Heart – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by AnthonyCawood

Change of Heart (8 pages in pdf format) by Eric Wall

A desperate virgin’s excursion to a dive bar yields unexpected results.

Urban Legends. They’re part of our culture. Our collective memory. Stories that are told again and again – usually with a moralistic spin. Don’t shirk your babysitting duties for your boyfriend. Or park in Lover’s Lane. Or investigate that noise in the closet. And definitely never get drunk in dive bars and hit on total strangers…

Now THERE’S an urban legend that’s stood the test of time: the one about the guy who gets wasted, only to wake up the next morning with a nasty hangover, in a bath loaded with ice… and missing some body parts… Maybe it’s never really happened, but that’s some evil stuff right there. A creepy tale that’s even inspired a notable Korean horror film, “Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance.”

It’s a scenario that inspired writer Eric Wall as well – and he’s taken it to some surprising (and delightful) places…

Meet protagonist Dennis. A sad-sack waste of a man. 37 years old. A virgin. Recently diagnosed with a heart defect. The fates haven’t been kind to poor Dennis – and it’s about to get far worse. When we meet poor D, he’s slumped in a seedy bar propositioning every female in sight. You see, Dennis is determined to get laid. Resolving at least one problem. Unfortunately for Dennis, his pickup lines stink on ice. As do his chances tonight…

At least until Tracy – an attractive vamp – slinks in the door. Sidling up to the bar and Dennis’ side, Tracy strikes up a conversation. And – as phenomenally unlikely as it seems – she seems to be attracted to him. A drink and some idle banter later, and Tracey agrees to take Dennis to a hotel room. Needless to say, she’s got a few ulterior motives in mind…

A straightforward, gory scenario – at least in SOME writer’s hands. But Change of Heart has surprises in store. Not to mention – heartfelt laughs. Witty and intelligent, Change has some amazing one liners. Not to mention amazingly fleshed out and sympathetic characters – in an eight page horror script, no less! You like dark comedy? Then give Change of Heart a try. It twists your expectations in delightful ways… all the way to its frosty end!

Budget: Relatively low – locations include a low rent bar and a cheap hotel bathroom.

About the writer: Eric Wall is a New Jersey based screenwriter who has written several short scripts, two features and is at work on multiple TV specs. He can be reached at e_wall1498 (a) yahoo.

About the reviewer: Anthony is an award winning screenwriter from the UK with 2 features optioned and over 30 short scripts optioned, or purchased, including 8 filmed. Outside of his screenwriting career, he’s a published short story writer and movie reviewer. Links to his films and details of his scripts can be found at

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Super Janet – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by Gary Rowlands

Super Janet (27 pages in pdf format) by Kay Poiro

Winner 2014 International Family Film Festival for Best Screenplay Short Sci-Fi / Fantasy

An ascerbic teen discovers she’s – a little different

Any you guys know what superhero movies such as Batman, Spider-Man, Iron Man and Superman have in common?

Well, for starters they’re amongst the biggest movie franchises of all time! These cinematic treats have grossed BILLIONS of dollars at the box office! Moviegoers are drawn to their local Cineplex ‘faster than a speeding bullet’ each time their favorite crime fighter does battle with some dastardly villian hell-bent on wreaking chaos and destruction on our pitiful, fragile lives.

But – at the risk of stating the obvious – there’s another shared factor at play. To put it bluntly, they’re all GUYS.

Men gifted with special powers and skills.

Whilst this makes for great entertainment (if you’re anything like me) it’d be nice to see a different kind of superhero for a change.

How about a complete underdog? Someone who can’t leap from a tall building, spin a web or fly? An ordinary schoolgirl, perhaps? At least, she thinks she’s ordinary. And who has a legitimate reason to wear tights.

Well, then – you’re in luck. Because Super Janet’s on the scene. Written by talented scribe Kay Poiro, this tongue-in-cheek script bursts with witty dialogue – enough to give The Avenger’s Joss Whedon a run for his money.

Our titular Janet’s just 14. A bit sarcastic, and struggling to pass algebra. Or understand her parents, Jack and Chrissy. (Jack, Janet and Chrissy. Think about that a minute. Won’t you?)

On the eve of her birthday, Chrissy drops a surprise on her daughter. Janet’s fifteenth birthday is around the corner. And her parents have planned an animal themed party. With a pinata. And they’ve invited the school lunch lady! Janet cringes. It’s totally lame. And pinatas? They give her the willies!

Needless to say, things couldn’t get worse. That is, until it does.

A strange man – Mr. Furley – shows up at school… and drops the real bombshell on our teen. You see, Janet’s really an alien. She’s had this ability to move things with her mind for years – but hey, why ask unnecessary questions? Her “parents” adopted her from the government when she was just an egg (getting a sweet new backyard shed in the bargain). But now aliens from her homeworld have arrived. A flotilla of warships orbit the Earth with a fearsome demand. Yo – hand over the girl. Or they’re gonna go bad-ass gangsta on humanity.

And Janet’s the only one who can stop them.

A kinda rude wake-up call for a teen – to find out she’s been lied to all her life. Will Janet step up to save the day? Or will it be “game over” for her – and the world that she’s grown to love?

Budget: Not cheap, but surprisingly not crazy either. A small cast. Some SFX that could be done in post with CGI. Add in a few sets: a house, school and spaceship interior (small), and you’ll be ready to blast off!

About the writer: Kay Poiro is an award-winning screenwriter and internationally produced playwright. Her stage plays have been performed across the country and on four continents and counting. Most recently, her TV pilot “Brewster Commons” won Best Short Script at the 2014 Harlem International Film Festival. In 2012, her feature script “Ridgeway Mystery Club” won Best Screenplay at the 8th Annual L.A. Femme Film Festival. She recently optioned her first feature script. Kay is a member of the Dramatists Guild of America and lives in Maryland. She can be reached at keishapoiro (a) yahoo.

About the Reviewer: Gary Rowlands cut his teeth writing sketch comedy. He was a commissioned writer on Spitting Image a hugely popular sketch show broadcast on national television in the UK. He has since branched out into writing features. His preferred genres are: Comedy, horror, thriller. He can be contacted at gazrow (a) hotmail dot com

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Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Turn Me On Dead Man – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by David M Troop

Turn Me On Dead Man (pdf format) David Clarke Lambertson

Three band mates cover up the death of their famous bassist.

When someone asks you to name an urban legend, Bigfoot might come to mind. If not that hairy beast, then perhaps Bloody Mary. Or that creepy stalker guy – with a steel hook for a hand. One that probably won’t occur to you is “Billy Shears.” But if that name doesn’t ring a bell, don’t worry. Your mother would know. ‘Cause she was born a long, long time ago…

Based off the legend of a world famous doppelganger, Turn Me On Dead Man tells a tale of a man plucked from obscurity and transformed into a music icon.

With a little help from his friends.

Those of you old enough to have once been called “hippies” are probably catching on right about now.

Imagine – a tongue-in-cheek retelling of the infamous “Paul is dead” hoax.

That is, unless it’s really true…

The script opens after Paul McCartney’s fatal car accident. A stunned John, George and Ringo come together to conspire – hatching a plot to replace their friend with a look-alike, and keep the Beatles’ dream alive. As luck would have it, they discover a dead ringer. The one and only Billy Shears.

But can Billy and the lads Fool the World? Or will the band inevitably leave a trail of musical crumbs that point their loyal fans towards the truth?

A fab mixture of folklore and fantasy, Turn Me On Dead Man is chock full of enough jokes to fill Albert Hall. See if you can spot all the Beatle lyrics hidden in the dialogue… beginning with the title, all the way to the horrifying end.

And if you don’t know what we’re talking about by now? Get thee to Pandora. Immediately!

Pages: 8

Budget: Moderate. Locations include a recording studio and a concert backstage area. Costumes require Beatle suits and wigs. If you’re lucky, you might even convince Ringo to play himself. All he has to do is act naturally.

About the writer: David Clarke Lambertson took up writing rather late in life having already been retired before he put pen to paper (okay – finger to computer key) for the first time. His favorite genres to read and write are dramedies and romantic comedies. He has written three features; The Last Statesman (a Nicholl’s and BlueCat quarterfinalist), The Beginning of The End and The End (a Nicholl’s quarterfinalist and PAGE Awards semi-finalist) and has recently completed a new comedy – Screw You Tube.

About the reviewer: David M Troop resumed writing in 2011 after a twenty-five year hiatus. Since then, he has written about 50 short scripts, two of which have been produced. Dave would like to make it three. He is a regular, award-winning contributor to Born on the mean streets of Reading, PA, Dave now resides in Schuylkill Haven with his wife Jodi and their two lazy dogs Max and Mattie. He can be reached at dtroop506 “AT” Gmail.

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Friday, November 4, 2016

How to Pronounce Hawaiian – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by KP Mackie

How To Pronounce Hawaiian (pdf format) by Sylvia Dahlby

“A gold-digger makes a friendly wager with her sugar daddy.”

Short and sweet. Less is more. Keep It Simple, Silly (KISS.) In the screenwriting world of character arcs and complex premises, a short and funny story can often be a breath of pure, fresh air…

As it is with Sylvia Dahlby’s efficient two-pager, How to Pronounce Hawaiian. As the script opens, 56 year old Rich and his much young girlfriend Tiffany sit in a convertible, parked in a fast food drive-thru lane. They’re in Hawaii. Somewhere. As Tiffany scours the map, she wonders aloud why Rich grab his trusty GPS. But Rich insists they aren’t lost. On the contrary – he knows exactly where they are. Kealakekua.

Say what?

The word doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. As the argument deepens, Rich and Tiffany take turns pronouncing the city’s name – each with their own garbled spin. Which inspires Tiffany to offer a small wager. Retrieving a magazine, she flips to a picture of a pearl necklace. If her pronunciation proves correct, Rich will buy the jewelry for her. If his is accurate? Tiffany whispers the offer in his ear. She’ll… well, you know. (Readers – keep those innuendos to yourself, please!)

And with that, the bet is on.

So, how will it end? Far be it from us to spoil the surprise…

Looking for a snappy punchline that’s easy to film? HTPH is your ticket. It’s guaranteed to make you (and your audience) smile. Not to mention attempt to say “Kealakekua” yourself. And Googling “Don Ho.” Say who? We won’t tell.

Pages: 2

Budget: Low, unless you fly to Hawaii and film the fast-food restaurant exterior there. (No little grass shack required.) Three characters round out this story set in paradise. Aloha. 🙂

About the Writer Sylvia Dahlby: I’m a one time advertising copywriter who has fallen in love with screenwriting. I’ve written a handful of features, one has been produced as a Role Playing Game (RPG) and made its debut at CarnageCon. I enjoy writing short scripts since it’s a fun exercise for sharpening my skills; so far one of my shorts has been produced as a student film project, and I welcome the opportunity to have more of my work produced via participation on SimplyScripts. Sylvia can be reached at sylviedahl (a) AOL.

About the Reviewer: California über reader/reviewer KP Mackie is working hard on her animated feature.

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Waterfall – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by KP Mackie

Waterfall (pdf format) by Marnie Mitchell

A couple’s constant arguing during a marathon has dire consequences.

Where do story ideas come from? Everywhere. A “what if” idea, a haunting song, a passing image in a mirror. Fleeting memories from childhood… When you’re a writer, everything is game. All you need is a fun idea, and a unique twist to make it fresh…

The inspiration for Waterfall comes from a bit of Americana we all share (and no, STS ain’t gonna tell.) That, and an element most of us can relate to: petty fighting and relationships.

…a couple struggle up a hillside; the last two in a long line. It’s a Warrior Dash type marathon, and neither one is doing well. On top of that, they’re bickering – the barbs getting more heated with every step. She’s thirsty. He dropped their water bottle and broke it. And now he’s slowing them both down. It’s her negative attitude, he replies. He’s tired of the constant bitching…

The fighting escalates to fever pitch. Then, finally, something gives.

A rock – under her feet. Plunging them both into peril. Especially when he loses his footing as well….

Is Waterfall a survivalist drama? Not exactly. More like a tongue in cheek homage. Once the situation escalates, the inspiration comes clear – driven home by the final line before Fade Out.

If you’re a director that enjoys puns in visual form, Waterfall’s likely to be your cup of tea – a twinkling star of a comedy sketch, bringing a smile to the face of jaded readers…

Pages: 3

Budget: Minimal. Locate a hill, and a fit couple willing to do some physical activity. Not a monumental challenge.

About the Writer: An award winning writer AND photographer, Marnie Mitchell’s website is available at Marnie’s had 5 shorts produced (so far) and placed Semi-final with her features in BlueCat. Marnie can be contacted via her website.

About the reviewer: California uber reader/reviewer KP Mackie is working hard on her animated feature and maybe an update to her bio?

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Saturday, October 22, 2016

Til Death – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by The Merrows

’Til Death (pdf format) by Rick Hansberry

A marital tiff erupts to epic proportions…

Married couples can find s-o-o-o many things to bicker about. Toilet seat up, toilet seat down, stop hogging the covers, I-don’t-like-the-panties-drying-on-the-rod*. You know, that sort of thing.

For Paul and Jenna, it’s the fancy towels — specifically, how could Paul have had the audacity to actually use them, when he knows damn well they were Jenna’s favorite wedding gift!

In this wildly humorous short, award winning screenwriter Rick Hansberry zeroes in on just how crazy domestic skirmishes can get. As the battle lines in this tale are drawn, Paul and Jenna find every possible way to push each others’ buttons: power tools, flushing the toilet while the shower’s being used, and multiple viewings of Sex and the City (oh, the Humanity!) Reminiscent of Woody Allen or Neil Simon, the snarky, quick witted dialogue escalates to def-con four quickly. It begins with a raging thunderstorm – and ends with a wild-west shootout. Including cleavage. And power tools.

A sneering, jeering bundle of fun, ‘Til Death is totally character driven, and super simple to produce. Did we mention relatable? Well, for some of us it is… 🙂

Pages: 5

Budget: Micro.

About the writer: Rick Hansberry has written/produced several short films, including the SAG Foundation award-winning Branches. He teaches screenwriting seminars and workshops in the Central Pennsylvania area and is presently available for hire for new story ideas, rewrites and adaptations. He can be reached at djrickhansberry – AT – msn, (cell phone 717-682-8618). IMDB credits.

About the reviewers: Scott & Paula Merrow are a husband and wife screenwriting team. Since 2006, they’ve written over 50 short screenplays, several of which have been produced. They tend toward family-friendly scripts, but they’ve written a little bit of everything: horror, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy,… the whole nine yards. They’re reachable at scott-paula “AT”

* Especially during that time of month, when my friends are coming over for the game.

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Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Hold Your Breath – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by KP Mackie


“Hold Your Breath”

An aspiring producer creates a unique way to deliver his pitch.

“Sell your story, sell yourself. Be creative, be brief.” And above all, be unique.

Ahhh, crafting an effective pitch. Ever hear about the writer who sent his shoe and a note — “To meet the talented one-shoe writer…” — with his contact information? How about the scribe who arrived with buckets of chicken for producers, only to ask them to supply the napkins? Or, the guy who handed the exec a softball — an actual ball — and declared, “Here’s my ‘soft pitch’ of an idea.”

Going up?

In the short, “Hold Your Breath, prolific writer Rick Hansberry flips the proverbial elevator pitch right on its head. As the story opens, aspiring reality-show creator Jason (24) corners a senior producer in the elevator. The fast-talking kid manipulates his way into the exec’s office, and drops the name of the producer’s boss — network chairman “Don” — who Jason claims is family friend, “Uncle Don.”    

Security is summoned, and Jason threatened with arrest. Does the name-dropping fly? Armed with only 30 seconds and charm, will Jason propel his reality-show concept all the way to the top? And what is this breath-stopping concept anyway? Let’s just say, the story’s surprise employs a trick that’s one for the books…

“HYB” is a clever and fun comedy riff, delivering a creative spin to the traditional elevator pitch that we’re all so painfully familiar with. The doors are wide open — come on in!

About the writer: Rick Hansberry has written/produced several short films, including the SAG Foundation award-winning “Branches.” His first feature is set to be released in the summer of 2014. Trailer available here . He teaches screenwriting seminars and workshops in the Central Pennsylvania area and is presently available for hire for new story ideas, rewrites and adaptations. He can be reached at djrickhansberry – AT – msn, (cell phone 717-682-8618) and IMDB credits available here.

Page Count: 5

Budget: Low. Quick shots inside an elevator, a producer’s “office”, a cast of three, plus a couple extras to portray security guards. Plenty of elbow room.

About the guest reviewer for “Hold Your Breath”: California uber reader/reviewer KP Mackie is working hard on another animated feature. Maybe John Lasseter’s in the elevator Rick envisioned for his story? Hey, um, Rick? –





All screenplays are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. The screenplays may not be used without the expressed written permission of the author.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Dick Jokes – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - posted by simplyscriptshorts

Dick Jokes
A stand up comedian discusses the male sex and their urges,
whilst going through a very personal journey.

Who wants to hear a dick joke? Well, nobody in the aptly named script Dick Jokes, by Cameron Grey.

But settle into your seats, folks. You’re going to hear a good one anyway.

As the script opens, standup comedian Redmond is just warming up his routine. Standing on stage at a Baltimore comedy club, he opens well-enough – gets a few laughs and dodges one heckler with ease.

But then Redmond runs into trouble. And one particular line falls flat: “I’ve come all the way from NYC to talk to you about dicks.”

Record scratch.

One female audience member gets up to leave. Redmond stops her, begging her to hear the joke before judging. Her response: he has two minutes to make her laugh or she’s gone. Unwilling to fold, Redmond accepts the challenge and begins telling his tale.

As Redmond digs deeper into his “bit”, we cut to flashbacks of Redmond’s life offstage. What led him to the comedy club tonight – and why is he obsessed about… well, Dicks?

Funny and smart, with a surprisingly grown-up message, Dick Jokes will have you in tears, both from laughter and being genuinely touched. (No, not that kind of touched, perverts!)

Trust us, any script that blends comedic timing with real emotion is special. Especially when dick jokes is the focus!

Believe it or not, this one’s safe for work. And great for festivals, as well!

Pages: 10

Budget: Low to medium. A few actors, several settings and a few costume changes, but if you know of a community theatre nearby, you should have everything you need to tell your own dick joke that’ll slay them in the aisles.

About the reviewer: Mitch Smith is an award winning screenwriter whose website ( offers notes, script editing and phone consultations. You can also reach him at and follow Mitch at

About the writer: I’m a Scottish/Australian writer. Despite being in proud possession of an Ancient Studies degree, somehow I’ve ended up working in architecture, largely doing3d visualisation and project coordination. Not sure how that happened but it pays the bills!

I initially took to writing scripts as some kind of therapy, a release from the pressures of the construction industry and family life. Now I’ve got into screen writing, work and family life is a breeze but looking for the next idea is a stress. Life’s a bit odd…

My first efforts were in drama, but to my surprise comedy seems to be clicking for myself. Interested in Dick Jokes? (And who isn’t?) Then contact me at cammygray1983 “AT”





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The screenplays may not be used without the expressed written permission of the author.

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