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Tuesday, January 17, 2017

My Life for Yours – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by Guest Reviewer

My Life for Yours (6 pages in pdf format) by MJ Hermanny

A man makes amends for leading an innocent astray.

Remember those anti-drug commercials in the eighties? Don’t do drugs? Crack is whack? Often more laughable than effective, the intent was to show kids the ugly side of drugs… scare them straight. A well meaning endeavor – even if it did devolve into a punchline.

Well, they ain’t got sh*t on this short gem.

As My Life opens, muscle bound jock Jason drags a drug-addled Mandy towards an abandoned house. A rotted shack in the middle of nowhere, no-one around for miles. There’s a stained bed in the corner, outfitted with chains. And a video camera set up for filming.

Readers will cringe as Jason shackles Mandy’s ankles. Whips out the drugs, and takes some hits. Because everyone knows what’s coming next. Kidnapping. Rape. Maybe worse…

Well, not exactly. Because Jason’s got other plans in mind – and a dark, gritty lesson for his girlfriend that’ll forever change both their lives.

Who is this couple – and why are they in this situation? As Mandy gets ever more frantic, a stoned Jason recalls the “Sid and Nancy” tale: a series of flashbacks about the innocent girl he met years ago… and the way he’s watched both of them change. And it sure ain’t for the better.

Though it wears the trappings of a thriller, My Life is at heart a romance: a clever, tautly written tale of how far someone will go to save the one they love the most.

Think you know where it’s going? Think again…

Budget: Low – 2 primary characters, unnamed partygoers, one vehicle and a dingy house that no-one has a use for, anyway…

About the Writer: Boasting an MA in Scriptwriting for Film, Theatre, TV & Radio, MJ is an award winning writer, with shorts optioned and produced in countries as diverse as Croatia and Norway. Residing in sunny England, she is currently hard at work developing a series with the BBC Writersroom – as well as working on a number of features (including one low-budget horror and a fantasy adventure script.) Her website is available here: redcatwriter.wordpress.com/. MJ herself can be reached via mjhermanny (a) gmail!

About the Reviewer: A writer himself, Leegion’s works can be found on www.simplyscripts.com.

Read My Life For Yours

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

5 Comments so far

1.

Lee O'Connor
October 2nd, 2014 at 12:26 pm

Nice story, but I felt the ending should of been Mandy holding Jason, indicating that Mandy has seen the realisation of the situation. Looking down at the state of Jason in her arms, his mouth foaming, eyes roll to the back of his head etc. it would be at that moment I think where Jason has successfully delivered his message. She doesn’t want to lose him.

2.

KP Mackie
October 2nd, 2014 at 5:57 pm

Starts off as pretty heavy material, and then there’s a surprising reveal.
Squirm-worthy.
Read it. It’s really good!

3.

C. S. Lang
October 15th, 2014 at 12:23 am

Gripping content and extremely strong thematically.
I’m considering producing it and would like to know the next steps.

Thank you,

4.

Brendan Clare
December 21st, 2014 at 1:19 am

In my humble opinion, the ending is perfect as it is. Leave ’em with a punch to the feels.

I’m also interested in the possibility of producing this script – did you go ahead with C S Lang? And, I guess, even if you did, would you consider allowing two productions? I’m in Australia, so it’s unlikely the audiences would overlap.

As I’m in Australia, I’d be needing to set it in the bush in the middle of nowhere, not a derelict house – let me know if you wouldn’t be happy for that sort of change.

Anyhoo, I’d be keen to hear back from you, wonkavite. Can you see my email address, even though it’s not published?

Ta,
Brendan.

5.

Dennis Nuckols
January 17th, 2017 at 8:53 pm

Nicely done. Characters and settings were easy to imagine.

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