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Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Becoming – Short Script Review (Available for Production) - posted by Dane Whipple

Becoming (pdf format) by Michael Cornetto

It was just a way to pay for college…

Law student Peter takes a summer job, chopping wood for a mysterious, unseen, but obviously wealthy employer.

As Peter works and sweats in the summer sun, he soon realizes that he is being observed. His rich patron remains a shadow, confined to the spacious mansion he inhabits. On payday, a neatly-placed envelope of money regularly appears, as does the occasional pitcher of lemonade on summer’s hottest days.

Then, one day, the usual packet of money is missing, and the mansion’s door – which has always remained closed – is left ajar, a seeming invitation into a here-to-for-unseen world of wealth, mystery, and intrigue.

As Peter puts it: “If I knew what was inside then, I would have turned and run…”

But Peter enters, and is brought face-to-face with his employer: a Gatsby figure drenched in rich cigar smoke, oozing with class and intelligence.

The conversation and the night that follows will change the course of Peter’s life forever…for better or worse.

Obviously, I’m being a little vague, but that’s only because under the story’s simple surface lies a subtle, sinister secret and a perfectly-plotted twist. The key here is mystery, and the script delivers it in Hitchcockian proportions. You won’t believe the twists and turns built into these spectacular six pages. Think Portrait of Dorian Grey by way of Scent of a Woman with a cool, confident, prohibition-era vibe.

Exactly the kind of intelligent, stylish, thinking-man’s thriller that proves timeless on and off the festival circuit.

So pour yourself a brandy, light a cigar, and sit down in your leather armchair for a terrific tale that is sure to light a fire with audiences everywhere.

Pages: 6

Budget: Low. Don’t be intimidated by the decadence. Find the right mansion and you are good to go.

About the writer, Michael Cornetto: Michael is a graduate of the New York School of Television Arts and has been screenwriting since 2005. A number of his short scripts have been produced and several have played the festival circuit… with over 70,000 views on Youtube. Drop Michael an email at mcornetto “AT” hotmail!

About the Reviewer: Dane Whipple can’t tell a verb from a noun, but he’s the nicest kid in town. He is currently working on that screenplay everybody keeps talking about: The Wild Age. Contact him at dane.whipple (a) live.com

Read Becoming (pdf format)

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This screenplay may not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.

4 Comments so far

1.

DW
May 19th, 2016 at 6:15 am

Great concept, well-structured. This is one of my favorites from this site.

2.

Tyna
May 19th, 2016 at 4:58 pm

Wow, very captivating i was seeing it as a movie i already have an idea of i to shoot. I love
it.

3.

KP Mackie
May 20th, 2016 at 2:11 pm

Squirming in my seat…
Creepy is a good thing! 🙂

4.

A.Cole
November 17th, 2016 at 10:25 pm

This is a VERY GOOD script! I love the twist ending and you did a hell of a job creating suspense and tension.

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