SimplyScripts.Com Logo

Monday, August 1, 2016

Hair – Short Script Review (Available for Production!) - posted by Zach Zupke

Hair
A family man struggling to keep his life from falling apart becomes obsessed with impending baldness.

Have you ever had one of those days? The job is stabbing you in the eyeballs, your child wants to stab you in the eyeballs and your spouse, who is so severely/constantly let down by you, can barely look you in the, um, eyeballs? These types of days have turned into years for salesman Ted Donovan.

But meaningless career and a challenging home life are nothing compared to his REAL problem: male pattern baldness.

James Barron’s “Hair” is a witty romp through a day in a suburban man’s life; a life beginning to fall apart – and fall out.

The story starts with confirmation from his physician – Ted’s hair or, unhair, doctor.

DR. GREEN
Mr. Donovan, have you been under any undue stress lately?
At work perhaps?

TED
Yeah, a bit. There’s been some cutbacks. And I have
a new boss. And my wife’s pushing me for this
promotion when I’m barely hanging
on as is. Plus my daughter got
suspended recently. And I’ve been
feeling this shortness of breath.
Kind of like I’m hyperventilating.

DR. GREEN
Uh-huh…

TED
Is there anything you can prescribe for that?

DR. GREEN
For which part?

TED
All of it.

DR. GREEN
I really only specialize with hair.

TED
Oh. Right.

The problems mount at work, where Ted used to be an Amway selling “machine.” But now he’s locked in cold-call hell, unable to engage potential customers for more than greetings followed by dismal dial tones.

His much-younger boss – who happens to be his old boss’s son – doesn’t help matters, reminding Ted of better day’s gone by.

TED
It’s been a little slow this month.

NEAL
No worries. What’d my old man call you?
The machine. I remember you were a legend.
(quickly)
Still are. I know I can count on
You, Teddy. Or should I say machine?

TED
Ted is fine.

Ted is not fine. In fact, this is a decisive turning point in his life. And he literally meets it head-on in the form of a nearly-fatal accident behind the wheel as he checks his hair in the mirror. Knocked unconscious, he dreams of his boss Neal, who tells him “you must make a statement…. a statement shall set you free.”

This free advice amounts to Ted’s moment of clarity, leading him to do the unthinkable. And so his journey to happiness begins anew, with wife and daughter in tow. And Amway and the old Ted in his rear-view mirror – for good.

Ted’s big adventure is a warm, charming “Office Space” meets “Horrible Bosses” meets Paul Giamatti. It’s an extremely low-budget film requiring just a few locations and handful of actors – one of which may need to be willing to shave a little off his ego to make the film a “growing” success.

Pages: 19

Budget: Just a few locations and a handful of actors. We’re happy to say that’s all you need.

About the reviewer: Zack Zupke is a writer in Los Angeles. Zack was a latch-key kid (insert “awww” here) whose best friend was a 19-inch color television (horrific, he knows). His early education (1st grade on) included watching countless hours of shows like “M*A*S*H,” “Star Trek” and “The Odd Couple” and movies like “The Godfather,” “Rocky” and “Annie Hall.” Flash forward to present day and his short “The Confession” was recently produced by Trident Technical College in Charleston, SC. He’s currently working on a futuristic hitman thriller with a partner and refining a dramedy pilot perfect for the likes of FX. You can reach Zack at zzupke “at” yahoo.

About the Writer: Newly discovered by STS (but already treasured), James can be reached at jbarron021 “AT” gmail

READ THE SCRIPT HERE – AND DON’T FORGET TO COMMENT!!

FOR YET MORE SCRIPTS AVAILABLE FOR PRODUCTION:

PLEASE SEARCH SIMPLYSCRIPTS.COM 

OR THE BLOG VERSION OF STS HERE.

All screenplays are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. The screenplays may not be used without the expressed written permission of the author.

2 Comments so far

1.

Fausto
August 1st, 2016 at 2:14 pm

Excellent script! Just a minor point: in it’s early
stages = in its early stage.
Good luck.
Fausto

This is nothing to be alarmed with
Mr. Donovan. Now there is recession
of the hairline and thinning around
the crown. Something indicative of
male pattern baldness in ….

2.

KP Mackie
August 3rd, 2016 at 2:09 pm

Interesting day-in-the-life-of story. Imagine it’s going to resonate with everyone who reads it.
Terrific characters. Individuals with unique voices. Well done! 🙂

Search with Google

    Custom Search SimplyScripts

Award Season Screenplays - New!

Subscribe to the SimplyScripts mailing list

    Email Address


Featured SimplyScripts Blogs

ScriptSearch

Advertisement

More Navigation

Great Vocab

Latest Entries

Categories

Script of the Day
November 24, 2017

    Super Scoop by John Staats (JEStaats) writing as My Name Here

    Lois Lane gets an exclusive interview with Wonder Woman. Do you really want an answer to that question?
    Discuss it on the Forum

    *Randomizer code provided by Cornetto.

Advertisement

Donate


Advertisement



Writers I dig

Search Amazon

Search Sheet Music




SimplyScripts Logo